Of Raindrops, Flowers, and Wishing Wells
by PottedLilies
Summary: Before Harry ever boarded the train, there was another story. One of magic and monster and most of all, love. One of boys becoming men and friendship stronger, even, than death. Lily/James, RL/OC, AL/FL, SB/? 5th year on.
1. The Hogwarts Express

**Edit: 01-03-2010, IMPORTANT: If you are reading this story, I beg you to please read the new version of it. **_(Of Raindrops, Flower,__** &**__ Wishing Wells)_ **It is about a thousand times better. I wrote a lot of this version as a fourteen year old with no skill whatsoever. The new version is me at eighteen.**

**Read this only if you're doing it for kicks. It's quite cliché.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot. JKR owns everything else.**

_It's hard to pretend you love someone when you don't but its harder to pretend that you don't love someone when you really do._

**Chapter One: The Hogwarts Express**

It was September first and Platform 9 & 3/4 was packed, as was usual, with young witches, wizards, and their families all getting ready to say goodbye for the school year. A pretty girl of fifteen was talking to her Muggle parents.

"Good bye Mum, bye Dad, I'll see you at Christmas!" the redheaded witch told them, kissing them both on the cheek.

"Be sure to write, dear, and tell us how you prefect duties go," the girl's mother told her daughter, handing her a prefect badge.

"I will, I always do. And I shouldn't have any problem being a prefect. I love the younger kids," she answered brightly, her green eyes, inherited from her father, were all alight.

"We know you'll do fine," he said warmly. A whistle sounded. "Five minutes, you better get on the train."

"Good bye, dear, we love you, see you at Christmas!" her mother said, giving her one last hug.

"Bye, oh, and tell Petunia I said good bye as well. She was asleep when I left this morning."

"We will, dear, we will. Now get along!"

Lily Evans hauled her trunk into an empty compartment on the train and began to heave it up onto the luggage rack, with difficulty.

"Oi! Evans! Need a hand with that?" Lily turned, again with difficulty, to face the owner of the voice.

"Not from you, thanks," she said coolly to the handsome boy standing behind her. His jet black hair was messy, as usual, sticking up in every direction and his hazel eyes were framed by wire-rimmed glasses.

"Suit yourself," James Potter replied in the same cool tone, rumpling his already messy hair. "I hear you were made a prefect. Remus too."

"Good for him," Lily said, clearly not caring in the least as she continued to push her trunk up onto the rack, which was proving to be quite impossible. James just chuckled.

"You're adorable," he told her as he watched.

"And you're an arrogant waste of space. Now that that's settled..." she heaved one last time and was finally able to get her trunk onto the luggage rack. She turned to look at James, hands on her hips, and finished, "Leave."

"Alright, alright. But you will go out with me this year Evans," James said as he ran a hand through his hair.

"You said that this time last year, and the year before that, Potter. I don't think it's likely to happen."

"We'll see, Evans. We'll see."

"Would all prefects please report to compartment number one. All prefects to compartment one," a male voice said over the intercom. Lily sighed and brushed past James and into the hall.

James walked to the compartment across the hall and sat down with Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew. Two of his three best friends.

"No luck with Lily-flower, mate?" Sirius, the handsomest of his friends, with his black hair that fell casually into dark brown eyes, asked with a grin, which James returned.

"Not yet my good man, but it's only day one."

"Uh huh," Sirius said with a mock-knowing look. He loved to tease James about his little "crush" on Lily Evans. He was the only one of the four boys who truly knew how much James cared about Lily. To Peter and Remus Lupin, she was just the only girl to ever turn James down, and therefore, it was like a challenge. But Sirius could tell that every "no" from Lily was like a slap across the face (which had happened once or twice) even if James was good at laughing it off.

"Hey there James, have a good summer?" Remus asked as he entered the compartment a few minutes later. Remus was a tall, rugged looking boy with light brown hair and deep grey eyes. He usually looked a little worse for wear, you see, Remus Lupin was a werewolf and each full moon took its toll on the young wizard.

"Not bad. Course, being stuck in a manor without my three best mates to help me prank the place is only relaxing for so long. What about you?"

"We went to visit some distant relatives that I didn't know we had. They were like my third cousins or something... anyway, turns out the whole family have," He paused to make sure the door was closed, "'Furry little problems'."

"Seriously? Wicked," Sirius grinned.

"Well it was nice to have people around who know how hard things get around full moon. To have some company."

They sat in silence for a while. Sirius yawned and said, " Well, mates, I think I'll take a little nap. Wake me when the food trolley comes by, will you?"

"Not me, I'm dead tired," Remus told him, and as if to prove it, he laid down across two of the seats and closed his eyes. Peter stretched and curled up on the seat not taken by Remus.

"I will, Sirius. I'm not tired."

"Thanks, and James?"

"Hmm?"

"Don't let Lily-flower get you down. She'll come round eventually," James just smiled weakly.

While his friend slept, James watched another sleeping form. Lily Evans was curled up in a seat in the compartment across from the his own. Her two best friends were talking animatedly, but she was already sound asleep. _She's even adorable when she's sleeping._ James thought with a small smile.

"Dear, are you feeling alright?" the kind voice brought James out of his thoughts. "I've been talking to you for five minutes, hun, do you want anything off the trolley?"

"No thank you, but my friend does, just a minute. Oi! Sirius! wake up! Food's here!" he exclaimed, shaking his friend awake.

**It's not very long, but there you have it, Chapter one. Please review and tell me what you think! Update to come soon!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_"The time when you need to do something is when no one else is willing to do it, when people are saying it can't be done."_


	2. Hate Mail

**Hey! Kayla here! I wanna say thanks to **_**twouble, Sirius-ly Phsycho, **_**&**_** Ms. Hart**_** for reviewing!**

_**07.31.07 Happy Birthday Jo! You remain our inspiration.**_

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot. JKR owns everything else.**

_You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly __lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love._

**Chapter Two: Hate Mail**

The months since the Hogwarts Express had pulled into Hogsmeade station had flown by and already, people were packing there trunks to go home for the holidays.

"Have any of you seen my copy of _Hogwarts: A History_?" Remus asked as he folded up a pair of his robes and put them neatly into his trunk.

"Yeah, mate, under the nightstand by Sirius's bed," James answered lazily as he watched Remus and Peter pack. The ringleaders of their little group would be staying at Hogwarts this Christmas.

"Thanks," Remus said as he retrieved the book. The werewolf was easily the most organized of the four boys, but it never ceased to amaze him how they always knew where everything was in all the clutter.

"Could someone give me a hand with this?" Peter asked as he tried to close his bulging trunk. He had just thrown everything into it as fast as he could. Sirius heaved himself up off his bed and easily shut it for him. Sometimes the poor guy was just helpless.

"Thanks!" Peter exclaimed happily. Sirius merely shrugged and went back to trying to stun the fly that was buzzing around above his bed.

"Well boys, I think I'll go for a walk," James said as he got off his bed, stretched, and ran a hand through his messy black hair. "I won't be long, it's freezing outside. I'll be back before you leave." As he walked down to the common room he heard a familiar voice.

"I've decided to stay here for the holidays," Lily Evans was saying to her two best friends, Alice Hinton and Vanessa Reese. Alice was a very small girl, with short spiky blond hair, pale skin, and big blue eyes. Vanessa was taller than the other to with dark brown hair and eyes. Her skin always glowed with a faint tan.

"Why? You always go home for Christmas," Alice said, looking worried.

Lily forced a smile. "I just decided I'd rather spend Christmas with you girls. That's all."

"Lily, you can't really think we're _that _thick can you?" Vanessa asked with an arched eyebrow.

"Yeah," Alice agreed. "What's wrong?"

"I just, huh, fine, Petunia sent me a letter saying that she would personally make my life hell if I come home before summer break. So I just decided to stay. Having Mum and Dad to herself this Christmas will be a nice change for her," Lily explained quickly, her face falling.

"But that's terrible!" Vanessa exclaimed, putting her arm around Lily's shoulders. "She's your sister."

"Petunia's just jealous. She always has been. I stayed over at Lily's house one weekend in the summer and she was the same way to me," Alice said smartly. "Lily has always been the better person and Petunia can't take it." Lily gave Alice a small smile.

"Look, don't worry. Petunia doesn't matter. We'll have a great Christmas just the three of us," Lily said as she stood up and grabbed her bag.

"Where are you going?" her friends asked in union.

"To the library, I need to look up something for my Charms essay."

"Alright then," Vanessa said slowly, still worried. "We'll talk to you later then..."

"I'm _fine_," Lily assured them. "I'll be back soon." She climbed out of the portrait hole, but did not head for the library. She had finished her essay ages ago, but she couldn't stand the worried looks of her friends. So instead, she pushed open the oak front doors and went outside for a walk around the frozen lake.

"Why did I have to tell them that?" Lily yelled at herself as her anger got the better of her. "Now they're going to look at me like that for the rest of the holidays! _Why_ didn't I say that Petunia had chicken pox or something? I am so _stupid_!"

"No you're not,"

Lily spun around to see none other than James Potter standing directly behind her.

"What are you doing here?" Lily asked furiously. No one was supposed to be out here. It was freezing.

"I heard you talking to you friends and-"

"So now you've sunk to eavesdropping?" Lily interrupted.

"No, actually I heard you as I came down the stairs. I was there when you finished your Charms essay so I knew-"

"No you weren't. I was all by myself in the library," Lily interrupted again.

"Well, I was actually spying on you so I could copy your essay, but anyway I knew-"

"You copied my essay!? Potter I thought you could sink no lower! Now _why_ did you follow me!?"

James now looked exasperated. "I've been trying to tell you! When I heard you tell your friends that you needed something for your essay I knew you just wanted to get away from them and I figured you come out here." He raised a hand to stop her from cutting him off again. "So I brought your coat, you'll freeze to death," He finished, handing the coat to her. She took it, looking suspicious.

"What do you want?" she asked bluntly.

"What?"

"I said, 'what do you want.' You are never just nice to people without wanting something in return!"

"So you think I'm nice?" James asked with a sly grin.

It was Lily's turn to look exasperated. Instead of answering, she turned on her heel and headed off farther around the lake.

"By the way, Evans," James called after her. "If you're offering a favor, you and me, Hogsmeade weekend."

"In your dreams, Potter!" Lily called back over her shoulder.

"Every night, Evans, every night!"

**Well, that's chapter two. Please review and tell me what you think! Update to come soon!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_"Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand."_


	3. Jewelry and A Morning Announcement

_**Thanks to ****rani singala,twouble, pink-werewolf, ****& ****Gray Eyed Beauty ****for the reviews!**_

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot. JKR owns everything else.**

_Love, true love, is that which can give the most**  
**without asking or demanding anything in return._

**Chapter Three: Jewelry and A Morning Announcement**

Lily woke in her dormitory early Christmas morning. The soft sounds of Alice and Vanessa putting on their bath robes and whispering about this and that were soothing to Lily's swimming mind. She was using the "thinking hours" as she called the first hours of the morning when the dormitory was blanketed in a velvety purple light. She was thinking of Petunia and her family. They would not wake for a few hours more on their time, but Lily missed her parents. She also thought about her friends. Vanessa was still worried about her, Lily could tell, the girl was not keeping quiet about her feelings. Alice, on the other hand, was showing subtle concern for her friend, but knew that Lily didn't like to be fussed over. A sudden light shone threw Lily's closed eyelids an she found herself blinking up into Alice's bright sapphire eyes.

"Wake up Lily! It's Christmas!" Alice said, already in a bubbly mood.

"It's too early for th-th-thisss." Lily said, failing to stifle a yawn.

"Awww, come _on_, Lily." Vanessa begged, "Open your presents!"

"Alright, alright." Lily said, rolling out of bed and dragging on her jade green bath robe over her pajamas. She sat down with the other two and picked up a small, brightly wrapped package.

"That one's from me." Vanessa said happily. Lily took off the paper to reveal a pair of beautiful emerald dangling earrings. Though she rarely showed it, Vanessa's family was exceedingly wealthy.

"Oh Vanessa! They're beautiful! Thank you!" Lily exclaimed, hugging her friend tightly.

"You're welcome. I saw them and I _had _to buy them for you, they match you eyes perfectly."

"Open mine!" Alice said, as eager as ever.

"Okay, okay." Lily said laughing as she sat back down. She picked a shiny red package with a large green bow. Lily opened it and pulled out a strapless dress the same shade as the earrings. It was silk to the touch and fell all the way to the floor when Lily tried it on.

"Alice, it's gorgeous! I love it! You too spoil me way too much."

"Why, Lily dear," Alice said in mock offense, "It's our job!"

Lily's other packages contained a variety of books from her parents, a new school bag from her grand parents, and a disgusting muggle imitation of frog spawn from Petunia.

"Well, at least she remembered you…" Vanessa said kindly as Alice dumped the green mush unceremoniously into the wastebasket.

"Wait, what is that?" Alice asked as she came back to sit on the end of Lily's four-poster. A thin package the same shade of red as the quilt lay at the foot of the bed. Alice picked it up and handed it to Lily, who examined it closely.

"There's no name." She said, looking at her friends curiously.

"Well open it!" Alice and Vanessa said in union. Lily did and gasped in shock. A silver necklace with an emerald crescent fell into her lap.

"It's the one made to go with the earrings!" Vanessa breathed. "But who gave it to you?"

"I don't-" Lily began, "wait, there's writing on the inside of the wrapping paper. "May this moon shine on your dreams as brightly as you shine on mine."" Lily read.

"That's so sweet! Does it have a name?" Alice asked with awe in her voice.

"Don't you think I would have told you if it did." Lily said sarcastically. "It's so beautiful, who could have sent it?" She finished, more to herself than to the others, hoping that her best guess was wrong.

"Lily has am admirer." Alice said in a sing song voice.

"What else is new?" Vanessa said, smiling at her friend's popularity.

"Let's go down and eat. And then we can go outside in the snow!" Alice said, getting dressed. Her bubbly spirits soon caught on and by the time they got downstairs all three of them had forgotten about the mysterious necklace.

The girls sat down to breakfast and talked as the filled their plates with eggs and bacon. Soon after they were settled, the three were joined by James and Sirius. Before the boys could say anything, the new headmaster, Dumbledore, stood up to make an announcement.

"Happy Christmas to all." He began, looking delighted, "I would like to announce an upcoming event that I am sure will please you all. Hogwarts will have a New Years Ball on December 31st. It will begin at 9 o'clock and end at midnight.

James a Lily a sly look, but she merely rolled her eyes, glad that Dumbledore was still talking so James could not say a word.

"Before I release you all to your daydreams," Dumbledore continued, "I have one more thing to say. This ball will be a masquerade. You all will be required to wear masks, and many of you may choose to alter you hair color for the evening. The point of this is so that you may mingle with students from all houses and worry not about who is who. That is all. Good day."

**Sorry for the wait! Please review and tell me what you think! Update to come soon!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

"_Remember this name its going to be in lights on Broadway someday."_


	4. Of Snowballs, Dresses, and Amateurs

**Thanks to all those who reviewed! This one is for you!**

**And yes, the Masquerade is cliché, but I like the idea, and I think you will like what I'm going to do with it! This is not the chapter in which it actually happens, but when it comes, I hope you like it!**

**Thanks for reading & Please review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot. JKR owns everything else.**

_Someday I'll show you an extraordinary boy. They do exist. You just have to believe me.  
_

**Chapter Four: Of Snowballs, Dresses, and Amateurs**

Upon leaving the Great Hall after breakfast, Lily, Alice, and Vanessa headed out the oak front doors and onto the Hogwarts grounds, which were covered in a think white blanket. Following them were James and Sirius, who were soon joined by Peter.

"Where's Remus? I thought he was with you." James asked when Peter finally caught up to them.

"He said he might come out later, but he doesn't want to right now, 'too cold' he says." Pettigrew answered hastily.

"Well, fine then, but he's missing out!" Sirius said as he made a perfect snowball and aimed it at the back of Vanessa's head. She let out a short scream when it made contact. She then spun around, her wand out. Seeing who it was, Vanessa gave a sly smile and turned back around, pretending that she was putting her wand away. Sirius was letting out a relieved laugh when another snowball hit him full in the face. After he wiped the ice from his eyes, he saw Vanessa walking away with her friends, her wand hanging loosely at her side.

"Wow, the look on your face was_ priceless_!" James exclaimed and doubled over with laughter.

"Yeah? You won't be laughing so hard after this!" Sirius yelled as he tackled James to the ground. The two boy wrestled like brothers for a few minutes and then stopped, still laughing hard.

"Come on," James said as he pulled Sirius to his feet, "the girls are getting away."

Sirius's face broke into an evil grin and he followed his best friend in pursuit of Lily, Vanessa, and Alice, Pettigrew trailing along in their wake.

- - - - -

"That boy bothers me!" Vanessa said, ringing the melted snow from her hair.

"I think you two would be _cute_ together!" The ever-perky Alice told her friends. Vanessa gave her a dirty look. "What?" Alice asked innocently.

"I am choosing to not say anything to that because I _know_ you are smart enough to figure that one out."

"Awww, come on Nessa! Just because we hate James doesn't mean we have to hate Sirius!"

"Whatever, let's talk about something else."

"Like the Masquerade Dance!" Lily suggested.

"Yeah! What are you guys gonna wear?"

"Well, the dress and earrings you guys gave me of course!" Lily said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Alice gave me a dress too! I can wear that." Vanessa exclaimed.

"What does it look like?" Lily asked.

"Come on," Alice said as she and Vanessa each grabbed one of Lily's hands, "We'll show you!" The three girls began to make their way back up to the castle.

Little did they know that there were three boys and a mountain of snowballs waiting for them.

- - - - -

"S-so c-co-cold-d-d." Alice said through chattering teeth as the three girls were taking off their soaked clothes in their dormitory.

"Je-je-rk-k-s." Vanessa agreed.

"Y-ea-ye-yeah-h, y-yo-you th-think-k th-they'd-d-d le-le-learn-n." Lily added, "A-all th-they d-do is ma-make us ha-hate them m-mo-more."

After they had warmed up the girls remembered the reason for returning to the castle in the first place.

"Nessa's dress!" Lily said, "I want to see it!"

Vanessa went to her trunk and pulled out a gorgeous red satin dress. It was strapless, like Lily's, and fell just below her knees.

"Oh, it's beautiful!" Lily gasped when she saw it.

"Isn't it though? I thought it would look great on Nessa, it's definitely her color."

"You have such an eye for these things Alice! You should do something with fashion when we leave Hogwarts." Lily suggested.

"Yeah! That would be amazing! You should go into design or something! You'd be great!" Vanessa added.

"Maybe, but right now we need to think about what else we're gonna wear! We need jewelry, well, Lily doesn't, but Nessa and me do. We need masks, I think there's a costume shop in Hogsmeade, we need shoes and we have to think of how we're gonna do our hair, and-"

"Alice!" Vanessa cut her friend off, "Don't worry, there's a Hogsmeade trip this weekend so that everyone can shop for the dance. We can get everything we need then."

"OK, we can have a shopping day! Anyone up for lunch?" Alice said, coming out of her monologue.

"Sure." The other two said in union and headed downstairs.

- - - - -

James laughed as he thought about the snowball attack on Evans and her friends. They had screamed and ran as fast as they could, but not faster than he and Sirius, to get away. They did eventually get up to the castle, but they were soaked through by then. James had opened his arms wide and told Lily that he could warm her up, but she just threw snow in his face and stormed up the stairs. Numb fingers were worth it, the chase had been wonderful.

James walked into the school and looked at all the booths being set up throughout the castle. Everyone was selling jewelry, masks, and even dresses of their own design. Some of the merchandise was decent, but some looked as if a two year old had found a couple shiny rocks and some spell-o-tape. He was not particularly worried about this dance they were having. It would merely be another chance for him to flirt shamelessly with Lily. Although, this time he would be flirting without her knowing who it was so he might actually receive some flirtatious activity in return.

"Masks! Masks for the Masquerade! Can't get in without one!" One sixth-year boy was yelling from a booth nearby. Next to his was that of a seventh-year girl, more crafty than he. People were swarming around both however, hoping to find something before everything was gone.

"Amateurs." James muttered as he whipped out his wand and created a large colorful booth between the boy and girl. He pulled mask after elaborate mask out of his bag, followed by some of the most intricate jewelry the students had ever seen. James new that yelling would not bring customers to him, instead, he hung a large banner that flashed a variety of bright colors. He soon had drawn the attention of every student in the vicinity and sold and haggled like an old pro. James merely smirked to himself, "_This _is how you do it." He said to no one in particular.

**Hope you liked it! Please Review, they are very much appreciated. And if you find any spelling or grammar errors, please let me know, I realize that they are distracting and I would like to get rid of them if at all possible.**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

"_If our arms were reaching out, if our words could only bridge the doubt."_


	5. Hogsmeade Village

-1**Two chapters in one weekend! Aren't you guys lucky! Thank you so much to those who reviewed and thank you **_**Ijustgottadance**_** for reading it first and giving me suggestions! You are a really big help!**

**I hope these two chapters satisfy you until Christmas break!**

**Thanks for reading and please review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot. JKR owns everything else.**

_A person doesn't always get what she deserves._

_Remember it. If there's anything in life you want, go and get it. Don't wait for anybody to give it to you._

**Chapter Five: Hogsmeade Village**

Snow was falling fast and heavy from a dark grey sky as the Hogwarts students, wrapped in coats, scarves, hats, and gloves, made their way down to Hogsmeade village. The female students' voices were excited as they chatted about the color dress they wanted to find or the gem they wanted on a necklace. The male population, however, were busy thinking up schemes to get the girl they wanted with or without the masks so they kept to the back of the crowd.

"So James, how do plan to dance with Lily if you won't be able to see her face?" Sirius asked, trying to be heard over the harsh wind that was blowing as he, James, and Pettigrew strolled leisurely across the snow covered grounds.

"I've got it all worked out, I just have to flirt with every single one of them. If Evans has any inkling that it might be me, she'll insult me and walk away. Then all I have to do is change masks and ask for her to dance with me. It's perfect, and I'll get to flirt shamelessly with every chick in Hogwarts." James explained confidently.

"Well, if you think that will work. And then when you leave them there after your realize they aren't Lily, there's gonna be a bunch of girls needing a shoulder to cry on." Sirius smirked, rubbing his hands together. "What about you Wormtail?" He asked Peter, using the new nickname James had made after the tail incident. "Got your eye on anyone special?"

"Well, I uh… I mean, um- I, I just, well, you see-" He stammered, obviously embarrassed by the question.

"Chill, Wormy." Sirius said, "You don't have to tell us if you don't want to."

Peter let out a sigh of relief and glanced at the pretty Hufflepuff girl he had a crush on walked up ahead. She had red-brown hair, warm brown eyes and a pretty smile, but Pettigrew would never be brave enough to ask her out. James followed Peter's glance and saw the girl he was looking at pull her canary yellow sweater tight around her shoulders as she talked animatedly with a few of her friends.

"Kristen Haile?" He asked and Peter flushed as bright as the red on his scarf. "What are you embarrassed at? She is definitely one of the better looking Hufflepuffs. Why don't you ask her out?"

"M-me a-ask out some-someone l-like her? I'd be lucky to get away without her saying anything! But she would probably laugh and walk away."

"Come on Wormtail, you don't know that." Sirius reasoned.

"Yes, I do. I'm not you Sirius, I can't just walk up to a girl I've never met before and ask her out! You can do that, but I'm not brave enough."

"Sure you are, Peter." James reassured him, "You're in Gryffindor, aren't you?"

"Well, yes, but, oh maybe I'll talk to her later, just don't pressure me!"

The group had reached Hogsmeade village. While the girls immediately rushed off to the clothing store on Main Street, James, Sirius, and Pettigrew headed straight for the Hog's Head. There they could have a safe haven from the icy wind outside and it wouldn't be as crowded as the Three Broomsticks always was. They headed inside, pulling their own glasses and handing them to the barman, they knew that they were far better off with something they had seen washed, the Hog's Head was filthy.

The barman silently took their mugs and filled them with butterbeer. They three boys paid and sat down at a table near the door.

"Remus still not up to getting out of the castle?" Sirius asked as they took their usual seats.

"No," James answered somewhat sadly, "it was full moon a couple days ago. That was why he didn't want to come outside with us one Christmas, not because it was cold."

"Poor bloke." Sirius said, and then lowered his voice. "We have to get this animagus thing down so that we can help him out."

"We're almost there though, as soon as we figure out to make the change back to human form happen all at once, rather than in bits and pieces, we'll be done." James said, remembering the time that Peter had had to skip class for a full day because he still had a rat tail. "I think it's easier now that we know exactly what we're turning into."

It had been only three months before when James and Sirius had fully transformed for the first time and finding out that their animals were a stag and a dog. Pettigrew had taken longer, but with much coaching on the other's behalf, he had finally gotten it down less than a week earlier. Peter had been disappointed to learn that his animal was a rat, he quickly got over it when James and Sirius found they could use him to get into the small places that they themselves could not reach.

"I can't wait to tell Remus!" Peter exclaimed, jumping up and down in his chair. "He's going to be so surprised!"

"Don't wet yourself." Sirius and James said in union.

"After we leave Hogsmeade we have to practice some more. Maybe we can be done by the next full moon.." James said, draining the last of his butterbeer. He turned his head and through the age old layer of grime that coated the window, he was able to make out the brilliant red hair of Lily Evans disappearing into the dress shop across the snowy street.

- - - - -

Lily shivered as she entered the small shop that sold all manner of dresses. The three girls were here so that Alice may find something to wear. The blonde tried on dress after dress, but never seemed to be able to find the perfect one. She went rummaging through the back shelves until she found a short dress that was ocean blue. I had long sleeves, but was somewhat low cut. A sash tied around the waste that was a darker blue, but not by much so it matched Alice's eyes.

"Perfect!" The three girls said together. Alice paid and they left the store.

"A few minutes later they found themselves walking out of a small jewelry shop. Alice had a bag with a pearl necklace and earrings and Vanessa with a ruby choker and bracelet. They found heels for each of them that matched their dresses and handbags that went with the shoes. They were almost ready to leave when Vanessa remembered the most important thing:

"Masks!" She gasped. The other two turned around and they all went into the brightly colored building that was the costume store. They squeezed through the crowd of people anxiously searching for masks and found a sales clerk.

"I'm sorry," He said before they could speak, "but we are all out of masks. You will have to find them somewhere else."

"But we have to have-" Alice began, but was cut off.

"It's alright, Al, we can make our own." Lily suggested. "It shouldn't be that hard. It might be fun!"

"Fine." Alice agreed and they wound their way back out of the shop.

- - - - -

They arrived back in the dormitory 20 minutes later. The girls threw all of their purchases on the beds and flopped down, exhausted.

"Well," Lily said, "that was fun."

"Hey guys," Vanessa began, getting up and walking over to her dresser. "What is this?" By her jewelry box were three masks. They knew they could not be the other two Gryffindor girls' because they had been flaunting them the night before, but neither of them had been this exquisite. "They're beautiful." Vanessa gasped, picking up the one on the left. It was the same red satin material as her dress and rubies lined the eye wholes. Alice took the one in the center and saw that it was made of peacock feathers the same ocean blue as the sash. Lily gently lifted the mask on the right hand side to find it jade green. Emeralds framed the entire mask and the two in the upper corners were crescent shaped and matched her necklace and earrings.

"Who could have sent these?" She asked in a whisper.

"Look," Alice whispered back, pulling a note off the mirror. " 'Knew you would need these, hope they work for you. Promise to look beautiful at the dance and they are yours.' There's no name, just like Lily's necklace."

"Should we keep them?" Vanessa asked, looking over her beautiful mask with awe.

"I think they are safe, but they look expensive." Lily said.

"Who would we give them back to though?" Alice asked, "I think we should at least keep them until the dance.

"Alright. We should probably start putting our things away and head down to dinner." Lily said as she opened up her bags from the day. The other followed her lead. None of them saw the rat that disappeared into a hole in the corner of the wall.

**Again, please review! Hope you like it!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

"_If you're being run out of town, stay in front and make it look like a parade."_


	6. The Girl In Green

**Oh wow. It's been forevvver! I'm sorry guys. I hope you don't hate me!**

**I know I really don't even have the right to ask after so long, but I will really appreciate it if you review!**

**IMPORTANT: To avoid any confusion, Vanessa's last name is Reese and Alice's is Hinton.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. As usual.**

_"I get by with a little help from my friends."  
- John Lennon_

**Chapter Six: The Girl In Green**

The day was drawing to a close, but its events were far from over. All of Hogwarts was preparing for the masquerade ball that was to take place that evening. The teachers were decorating and the house elves were busy making food and drinks in the kitchen. The castle was oddly empty, though, as all the students were in their dormitories getting dressed and ready.

"Could one of you zip up my dress, please?" Alice asked as the three girls hurried about their dorm, trying to pull outfits together.

"Sure, come here." Vanessa said. Lily had found a book of appearance-altering spells and had been able to turn the Caribbean girl's dark skin a creamy white and her dark brown hair was now a deep black. Lily's own hair was a rich brown and her skin a bit tanner and Alice's hair had been changed to strawberry blond.

Vanessa zipped her friend's dress and tapped her head with her wand, muttering "_cirratus", _and her straight hair took on elegant curls. Lily's hair was in a pretty up-do, and Alice had the same pixie cut as always.

Once the girls had found all their accessories and whatnot, the three friends headed down to the common room, which they found packed with Gryffindors in all manner of dresses and robes, the room had never looked so vibrant. Lily, Alice, and Vanessa squeezed their way through the crowd and climbed out the portrait hole.

- - - - -

"Oi! Sirius! Toss me my mask, will you?" James called across his dormitory. Sirius threw the dark blue mask across the room like a frisbee and James snagged it out of the air with ease. The mask matched the dark blue robes that James was admiring in the mirror. Sirius was dressed in robes that were a bright canary yellow, mostly as a joke, but he did love to stand out. Lupin's were a simple black and Peter's were an awful shade of puce.

"Well boys, you ready?" Sirius asked as they pulled in their masks. "Let's go." He led the way down to the common room, drawing many laughs from the crowd of people congregated there, and out into the hall.

- - - - -

The three girls let out a collective gasp when they saw the Great Hall for the first time since it had been decorated. Snow was falling softly from the enchanted ceiling, the four house tables had been removed to make room for a glistening dance floor, many small, silver tables lined the walls, and the entire Hall glittered with candles and never-melting icicles. Lily, Alice, and Vanessa made their way to one of the tables and poured themselves punch.

- - - - -

James and Sirius sauntered into the Great Hall, followed by Remus and a timid Peter, who looked very out of place amid his confident friends. James nonchalantly scanned the room, looking for familiar red hair, but saw none. His aloof facade faded ever so slightly.

"There has to be about 400 girls here!" He whispered to Sirius, "How am I supposed to figure out which one's Lily?"

"Flirt with all of them, remember?" His best friend joked.

"Come on, Sirius, you know that that really isn't going to work."

"Well, Prongs, you're lucky I've got your back." Sirius said with a grin.

"What do you mean?"

"Well," Sirius explained, obviously quite proud of himself, "I had Wormy sneak into the girls' room, as a rat, of course, he saw what color their dresses were and I made them masks to match. Peter went back and put them on their dresser."

"Padfoot, that's _brilliant_!" James exclaimed in a whisper.

"But wait, there's more." Sirius said, imitating a muggle commercial.

"What?"

"Well, Remus thought that you should get her a present, so I followed Reese when she was doing her Christmas shopping. She bought Lils some earrings so I got her the matching necklace."

"Using my money, I imagine." James grinned.

"Naturally."

"Did you tell her who it was from?"

"Nope. Peter wrote some mushy love note to go with it, but we didn't sign your name so that you can tell her yourself."

"Thanks, mate. You thought of everything."

"Anytime, Prongs, anytime. Now if you'll excuse me, I saw a pretty blond go by a minute ago."

James laughed and rumpled his hair as he and Sirius set off to find Lily and the blond.

"Oi! Padfoot! I forgot," James called to Sirius, "What is she wearing?"

Sirius let out his bark-like laugh and pointed Lily out in the crowd.

- - - - -

The three girls were talking and laughing when a tall figure in dark blue robes approached.

"Care to dance with me?" He said in an alluring voice, extending a hand to the girl in green. She nodded and took it as he led her out onto the dance floor, her friends giggling softly behind them.

_Wow_, James thought as the music began to play, _she did a fantastic job of disguising herself_. She was taller, thought that could just be the heels, her hair was a bit shorter and a different color, even her eyes were different.

"So... what's your name?" James asked, just to see what she would say.

"Surely you don't think I'm _that_ thick, its a masquerade." _That's Lily alright. _James thought with a small grin.

"I don't recognize your voice."

"I changed it." She said dismissively. _Wow, she went all-out_.

"Oh really, you'll have to teach me how to do that sometime."

"And what makes you think you'll ever even know who I am?"

"I'll figure it out."

"I highly doubt that."

At that moment, Dumbledore, who appearance was obvious even behind a silver mask, stood and the room fell silent.

"I would like to make an announcement." He began. "At exactly midnight tonight, all masks will be magically removed and all appearance-altering spells will be undone. So I would advise that you return to your dormitories before then if you wish you identity to remain a secret. But now, please enjoy yourselves."

"Well, there you have it." James smirked. "I'll just stick around with you until midnight."

"And what if I leave before then?"

"I just won't let you."

"Mmhmm."

The song ended and she started to make her way back to the other two girls she was with, who James presumed were Alice and Vanessa.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?"

"Back to my friends." She answered.

"Oh come on, don't try to tell me that you aren't enjoying yourself." James said with a sly smile.

"I am, but I'm thirsty, and I left my drink over with them." She mentally kicked herself for not coming up with a better excuse.

"I'll get you a new one."

"No, that would be a waste. Listen, just give a few minutes. Dance with another girl. I'm sure you can find one more interesting than me."

"I doubt that." He said under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, you're right. Go back to your friends, but I will find out who you are."

"Right." She said sarcastically. And headed back to her table.

- - - - -

James watched her go and quickly scanned the room for a spot of yellow, which was not too hard to find. He ran over to Sirius and pulled him away from a flock of girls he was entertaining.

"Did you dance with her?" Sirius asked when he saw his friend.

"Yes."

"And...?"

"She knows its me, Sirius, I can tell. I don't know what to do! I'm usually good with girls, but when it comes to Lily it seems like I always do something wrong!"

"Calm down. You probably just came on too strong. Back off a little, dance with some other girls. And when you talk to her again, don't be so... you."

James laughed a little at that and decided to take his friend's advice.

- - - - -

The girl in green hurried back over to her table and burst out laughing.

"I can't believe he fell for it!" Vanessa exclaimed, gasping for breath. "He really thought I was Lily!"

Lily and Alice started laughing as well.

"This was a brilliant idea, Lily!" Alice said, "now James won't bother you all night."

"But I feel bad for you, Nessa! You have to put up with him!" Lily said with an apologetic expression.

"I'll be fine. You know, Lily, it's really not that bad to be adored." Vanessa laughed.

"But its James!" He's such an- well, something I won't say. I mean have you seen the way he treats some people!? He thinks that he is so much better than everyone else and-"

"Lily! We know, we know." Alice said softly, "Let's not get into all the things he's done wrong right now."

"You're right, I know." Lily said with a sigh. "Have fun Ness, just don't forget who it is behind the mask."

**The Masquerade part one!! There you have it. I hope you enjoyed it! **_**Please review **_**and I will update as soon as I can.**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

"_A woman can hide h__er love for 40 years, but her disgust and anger not for one day.__" _


	7. Of Dancing and Friendship

**Hey Everyone! Turns out I'm not dead, though it seems that I was after that terribly long absence which I beg you to for give me for. Here's the next (_very_ long awaited) chapter in my telling of how James and Lily came to be. But first! Since I know none of you want to go back and re-read what you've forgotten (though it is a wonderful story that I'm sure you all could read again and again, haha, just kidding, only James would be that conceited), here is a brief overview of what has happened so far:**

_**-The fifth year begins at Hogwarts, Petunia threatens that Lily should stay at Hogwarts over Christmas.-**_

_**-Lily receives a necklace for Christmas with no clue as to who sent it.-**_

_**-The Marauders continue there quest to become Animagi.-**_

_**-Dumbledore announces a masquerade ball for New Years.-**_

_**-Sirius hatches a scheme to know who Lily is at the ball.-**_

_**-Lily figures it out and switches places with Vanessa, the boys remain clueless.-**_

**So here we go, the second part of the Masquerade Ball....**

**Disclaimer: For the sake of not being sued, I don't own anything you recognize. Not copyright infringement intended. This is purely fan-based.**

_Every day brings a chance for you to draw in a breath, kick off your shoes, and dance._

**Chapter Seven: Of Dancing and Friendship**

Lily and Alice sat alone at one of the small silver tables that framed the edges of the large, glittering dance floor, sipping punch and watching James dance with Vanessa, though he was under the impression that he was dancing with Lily. They had been dancing for over half and hour and Lily, deciding that James had been fooled, was beginning to enjoy herself. A tall, broad-shouldered, dark-haired boy in bright yellow dress robes sauntered over to where the two girls were sitting.

"May I?" he said, holding out a hand to Lily as a new song began to play.

"Oh alright." Lily said with a small smile and allowed Sirius to lead her out onto the dance floor.

_Thats odd_, Sirius thought, _Vanessa doesn't sound like herself...._

He quickly put the thought out of his mind and said, "Looks like James and Evans finally hit it off." He pointed over his shoulder to where the two of them were dancing.

"Mmm," Lily said, not wanting to give anything away.

"Jealous, Reese?" Sirius smirked.

"How did you know who I --"

"Ask no questions, here no lies." Sirius said, flipping his long dark hair out of his face and grinning that canine grin of his. "But _you_ didn't answer _my_ question." He continued, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, were it any other question," Lily said, "I would say, 'ask no questions, here no lies.' But seeing as how you would take that and twist it to mean a million other things, I will simply say, no, I would never, ever be jealous of anyone dancing with that filthy, arrogant, mop headed, toe rag."

"Hey! That filthy, arrogant, mop headed, toe rag just so happens to be my best mate. Though I don't deny you have a pretty accurate description of him." Sirius said, miraculously maintaining his composure. He knew, as soon as she started talking about James that way, that this had to be Lily. None of her friends had quite the same blatant hatred of him. _But how did they find out? _He asked himself, steering Lily closer to the spot where James and Vanessa were dancing.

"Don't move." He said, and left her standing alone in the middle of the gleaming dance floor.

"May I cut in?" He asked James, trying to keep the confident swagger in his voice.

James gave him a confused look but let go of Vanessa.

"They knew." Sirius mouthed over Vanessa's head and gave a small nod in Lily's direction.

James stared at Sirius for a moment. His jaw dropped, and Sirius feared it might fall off completely. James smacked his forehead rather harder than necessary, cursed himself for not realizing it in the first place, and headed over to the real Lily, who had grown tired of waiting and was making her way back to the table.

"Hold on a moment." He said as he caught up with her. James grabbed Lily's hand in an effort to stop her. "Sorry about that, poor bloke's wanted a go with her all night, so I finally let him have her.

"How nice of you." Lily said coolly, allowing him to pull her back on to the dance floor.

_She knows_. James thought, but said, "Sure was. I find that I can be a pretty nice guy." He put his hands on her waist and she put hers around his neck. _Ah well, at least I might get one slow song with her before she explodes on me._

"Ever read the poem _Pretty Good_, by Charles Osgood?" Lily asked him, noticing, quite against her will, that James Potter was an excellent dancer.

"Can't say that I have. I'm not really one for reading."

"I'm not surprised. I don't even know why I asked. I should have known it would only be lost on you."

James, however, decided that it was time for a change of subject. "You look stunning." He couldn't help but smile as he looked down at her.

"Cut the crap, Potter, I know its you." She said with a sigh as she tried to pulled away from him.

"Oh _come on_, Evans! Its the Holidays! Just give me a chance." He said, holding her tighter so she could not get away.

"Any why on earth would I ever do that?" She asked as she continued to try to break free.

"Because you're madly in love with me, but you're too proud to admit it. This gives you an excuse, call it a late Christmas present."

Lily stared at him, for once, at a loss for words.

"So you admit it then." He said, smiling triumphantly.

"I don't admit anything, except that I am _not_ madly in love with you."

"You keep telling yourself that, Evans." James said, still smirking.

"I will." Lily answered, finally breaking his hold. "And I will keep telling you that as well."

- - - - - - -

Lily was sitting alone at the table, Frank Longbottom had asked Alice for a dance a long time ago and they were still going. Lily was angry with James and angry at herself for letting him get to her like that. She was just about to leave and go back up to the Common Room when she noticed a tall figure standing beside her.

"I'm not interested in dancing anymore." She told whoever it was.

"Good." Said a familiar voice. "I wasn't going to ask. I hate dancing."

"Sev!" Lily said happily and stood up to hug her old friend. "Sit down, we haven't talked in forever! We've both been so busy, what with my prefect duties and you and your.... other friends."

There was an awkward moment while they both stood there, Lily had told Severus before that she did not approve of the friends he had made in his own House.

"Er, would you like some punch?" She asked, before hurrying away to the refreshment table. She returned with two glasses and sat down beside Severus, the tense feeling between them had already passed.

"So how have you been Lily? How has your sister been treating you?" He asked, taking th punch she had brought him.

"Oh, Petunia's been awful. Ever since she didn't get a letter she's treated me like I'm some kind of freak." Lily explained sadly. "That's why I didn't go home for Christmas this year."

"Aw, Lily, I'm sorry. I wish there was something I could do."

Lily gave him a small smile. Their friendship was so effortless. She wished more than anything in the world that he had been in Gryffindor with her. "It's alright, Sev. Don't worry about it. How have things been going with your parents?"

"My mum finally left. She and my dad go to court this summer for custody rights."

"Oh, Sev! That's great!" Lily knew Severus had wanted his mother to leave his abusive father for years. "I only hope she gets to keep you!"

"Me too, but if not, I only have two more years, I can get through."

"Aw, Sev, you're a Gryffindor at heart, I know it."

"Thanks Lils." He said, looking around to make sure none of the older Slytherins he usually hung around with had heard.

"Don't worry so much, Sev. This is a Masquerade. None of your friends are going to know it's you. Speaking of which," she added with a raised eyebrow, "how did you know it was me?"

"I always know with you, Lily." He said, smiling a real smile for the first time in a long time.

They continued to talk and laugh together late into the night, Lily had not had such a good time in ages. When Dumbledore announced that it was midnight, however, they got up, celebrated the New Year with everyone else, and hugged each other one more time before heading off to their own dormitories. She did not know it then, but that ball would be one of the last good memories she would have of her childhood best friend.

**________________________**

**Phew! There you have it everyone, Chapter Seven! I do hope you liked it, and as always please please _please_ review! Also, I've put the poem Lily mentions, _Pretty Good_, by Charles Osgood below so that you all may read it, again, no copyright infringement intended.**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

There once was a pretty good student  
Who sat in a pretty good class  
And was taught by a pretty good teacher  
Who always let pretty good pass.  
He wasn't terrific at reading,  
He wasn't a whiz-bang at math,  
But for him, education was leading  
Straight down a pretty good path.  
He didn't find school too exciting,  
But he wanted to do pretty well,  
And he did have some trouble with writing  
Since nobody taught him to spell.  
When doing arithmetic problems,  
Pretty good was regarded as fine.  
5+5 needn't always add up to be 10;  
A pretty good answer was 9.  
The pretty good class that he sat in  
Was part of a pretty good school,  
And the student was not an exception:  
On the contrary, he was the rule.  
The pretty good school that he went to  
Was there in a pretty good town,  
And nobody there seemed to notice  
He could not tell a verb from a noun.  
The pretty good student in fact was  
Part of a pretty good mob.  
And the first time he knew what he lacked was  
When he looked for a pretty good job.  
It was then, when he sought a position,  
He discovered that life could be tough,  
And he soon had a sneaking suspicion  
Pretty good might not be good enough.  
The pretty good town in our story  
Was part of a pretty good state  
Which had pretty good aspirations  
And prayed for a pretty good fate.  
There once was a pretty good nation  
Pretty proud of the greatness it had,  
Which learned much too late,  
If you want to be great,  
Pretty good is, in fact, pretty bad.


	8. A Ghost of Valentine's Past

**I love summer!! I can make a bazillion more updates than during the school year! I'm excited. Mmkayy, this chapter was inspired by _Leigh A. Sumpter_'s Seven Valentines. It's a wonderful read, I highly recommend it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, no matter how much I wish I did.**

_There would be no passion in this world if we never had to fight for what we love._

**Chapter Eight: A Ghost of Valentine's Past**

"Good morning!" Alice exclaimed, throwing open the curtains that hung around Lily's bed.

"Too early...." Lily mumbled into her pillow. She heard Vanessa moan in agreement somewhere to her left as Alice pulled her curtains back as well.

"Come on, girls! Don't you remember what day it is?" Alice asked as she opened the window, only to close it right away as freezing wind blew into the room.

"Th-Thursdaaay?" Vanessa said through a huge yawn as she sat up and rubbed sleep from her eyes.

"No, silly! Well, yes, it is actually, but that's beside the point – it's Valentine's Day!" Alice said, jumping up and down and clapping her hands.

Lily groaned. "All the more reason for me to go back to sleep."

"I don't see what you have to worry about, Lils." Vanessa said as she ran a brush through her dark hair. "I can think a a certain good-looking Quidditch player who will definitely ask you to be his Valentine!"

"That is _exactly_ what I'm worried about. As if I would ever be James Potter's Valentine anyway." Lily said, finally forcing herself to sit up.

"At least it will be fun to see what crazy scheme he's come up with this year to get you to say yes!" Alice said happily.

Lily, on the other hand, shuddered, remembering all too well the four previous Valentine's Days that she had spent at Hogwarts.

_-Flashback to 1st Year-_

"_Oi! Evans!" James Potter shouted at her from the other end of the Gryffindor table at breakfast, his prepubescent voice easy to make out over the low rumble of the other students. "Be my Valentine?" He waved a rose in the air._

_Eleven-year old Lily turned pink with embarrassment. _

"_Not if my life depended on it!" She had called back, waving her wand. James ended up in the hospital wing with thorns up his nose._

_-End Flashback-_

"So, Prongs, what do you plan on doing for Lily-flower this year?" Sirius asked his best friend on the morning of February 14th.

"Haven't decided yet." James said, feigning nonchalance. Sirius, of course, saw right through the aloof appearance.

"Listen, Prongs," He said, looking James straight in the eye. "I know how you feel about Lily, she's not just another hook-up for you. She actually means something. And you can't give up on her. She'll come round eventually."

James laughed at how easily his best friend was able to read him. "Thanks, Pad," he said. "Now what d'you say we make this a Valentine's Day to remember?"

- - - - - - -

Lily got out of bed and began to get ready for the day as her two friends chatted excitedly over who they wanted to ask them out.

"Oh I hope Frank Longbottom asks me!" Alice was saying. "We had such a lovely time at the New Year's Ball!"

"Surely he will!" Vanessa said reassuringly. "He's been absolutely smitten with you since the dance! I was hoping Spencer Lang would ask me."

"Our 6th year Keeper? He's so dreamy!" Alice said, placing a pink ribbon in her hair and fastening the matching tie around her neck. "What about you Lily, if you won't have James?"

"Actually, I try to avoid the holiday completely if I can manage. It just hasn't been the same since I met Potter, to be honest."

_-Flashback to 2nd Year-_

_Lily cam down the last step of the Marble staircase. She entered the Great Hall and would forever regret it. Standing there, dressed as Cupids, diapers and all, were Peter Pettigrew, Remus Lupin, and Sirius Black – James' best mates._

"_Oh no," Lily said to herself and turned to leave, but James stood in the door to block her way. All eyes in the Great Hall were on the five of them when Peter, Remus, and Sirius burst into some terrible, mushy love song._

"_Oi! Evans!" James called. "Be my Valentine?"_

_It took Lily less than a minute to whip out her wand and cast a little spell that set a swarm of angry bees on the four boys. To her surprise (and great delight), James was allergic to them._

"_I'll take that as an 'I'll think about it'?" James said to her with a smirk as Madam Pomfrey rushed him to the Hospital Wing._

"_You'll take that as a 'no', Potter!" Lily yelled back and sent a few more bees chasing after him. That little adventure earned her two night's detention._

_-End Flashback-_

"You ready, Lily?" Vanessa asked as she grabbed her bag. The three friends made their way down from the dormitory and through the Common Room. They climbed out the portrait hole and headed to breakfast. When they reached the Great Hall, Lily stopped.

"You two go first," she said, hiding behind Vanessa. "Make sure the coast is clear."

_-Flashback to 3rd Year-_

_Lily walked into the Great Hall on the morning of February 14th to find every available surface covered in lilies. The other students glared at her as they tried to find a place to eat – as if it was her fault!_

_James sauntered toward her with another lily in his hand calling, "Oi! Evans! Be my Valentine?"_

"_Not for every flower in the world." She answered calmly. She turned on her heel and left the Great Hall._

_-End Flashback-_

Vanessa laughed and peeked into the Great Hall. "It's okay, Lily. There's nothing there."

Lily let out a sigh of relief and followed her two friends in to breakfast.. As they sat down at the Gryffindor table, Lily could not help but smile, however much she detested the holiday, when she saw Frank Longbottom openly staring at Alice. Lily grabbed a piece of parchment and her quill and and scribbled '_Ask her out!_' before enchanting it into a paper airplane and sending it to Frank.

He opened it and glanced at Lily, who smiled and nodded towards Alice. Frank stood up and made his way to where the three girls were sitting.

"Erm, Alice?" He asked, his face turning pink.

"Yes, Frank?" She said, giving him an encouraging smile.

"Well, I was, uh, just wondering, if maybe you would like to, um, be my Valentine?"

Alice squealed and jumped up to hug him tightly.

"Thanks." Frank said to Lily as he and Alice Left the Great Hall, hand in hand.

- - - - - - -

Lily got through the first class of the day, Healing, without incident, though it was due largely to the fact that neither James, nor any of his friends, were in the class. She sat there doodling and taking the occasional note and absentmindedly glanced out the window to the Quidditch Pitch.

_-Flashback to 4th Year-_

"_AND KIRKENDALL CATCHES THE SNITCH!" The announcer roared, "GRYFFINDOR WINS!"_

_The Gryffindor team, hugging and yelling congratulations to each other, made their way to the ground. A certain 14-year old Chaser, however, flew higher._

"_What's Potter doing?" The announcer asked, but his question was answered shortly. James pulled out his wand and wrote 'Oi! Evans! Be my Valentine?' across the sky in huge red letters._

_Lily was prepared. She pulled out her own wand and wrote in the same letters, just under his, 'Not in your lifetime, Potter!'._

_The crowd laughed as James dramatically hung his head and joined his teammates on the ground._

_-End Flashback-_

Lily smiled slightly at the memory, what had gotten into her? Potter's antic may be amusing, if nothing else, but still, he was... Potter.

All of a sudden, Lily did not know what to think anymore. She was supposed to hate James Potter – hate him more than anyone – and she did, but as she spent the day checking around corners for James, she could almost feel a bit of the ice in her heart beginning to thaw.

- - - - - - -

Lily approached the portrait hole that night hoping the James had simply forgotten what day it was. Here hopes, however, were in vein.

She entered the Gryffindor Common Room to find it packed with people who all yelled "SURPRISE!" when she walked in. A flashing banner that covered on the whole south wall proclaimed 'HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, EVANS!'.

"Oi! Evans!" Came the the beginning of a statement she knew far too well. Lily turned around to find James right behind her. "Be my Valentine?" He whispered.

"Not in a million years." She whispered back.

"Better than last year." James said with a grin. "Now I just have to make sure you and I both live to be a million and one."

"You're crazy." She said, rolling her eyes.

James leaned down and kissed a very surprised Lily on the cheek. "Only for you." he whispered, his warm lips brushing her ear.

**________________________**

**There you go, Chapter Eight!! Please please please please please review!!! I really appreciate those who do!**

**Haha, that rhymed.**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

"_Life isn't fair, it's just fairer than death, that's all."_

_-William Goldman, _The Princess Bride


	9. Laughter and Love Potion

**I would like to thank _AllyKitten_! She was the sole reviewer last chapter and I want her to know that I really appreciate it! This chapter is for you!**

**And I've gone back and (hopefully) fixed all the typos from previous chapters. If you notice any, though, please tell me!**

**Mmkayy, here we go...**

**Disclaimer: I. Own. Nothing.**

_The best laughs are the ones that come from deep inside when everything is going wrong and there's nothing you can do but laugh, and after that, laugh some more._

**Chapter Nine: Laughter and Love Potion**

Lily's cheek burned slightly where James had kissed her and his husky whisper made her stomach flip.

_What's happening to me?_ Thought Lily wildly. _This is Potter!_

"Dance with me?" James asked, stepping back and tucking a single lily behind her ear.

"I just told you I am _not_ your Valentine." Lily said, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Never said you were, love. But you can still dance with me. I put this whole thing together for you, you know." James said, flashing her a smile.

"Potter, you do something over-the-top like this every year and I never take part in it. You should know that by now."

"I do. But I've decided to change it this year." James said, taking her hand and dragging her onto the dance floor Sirius had set up in the middle of the Common Room. He took her arms and placed them around his neck before putting his on her waist.

"See," he said. "You're already doing better. You haven't even set a swarm of bees on me yet." He smiled down at her.

"I'm still considering it," Lily said with a smirk. "Just out of curiosity, how on _earth_ did you get your friend to dress up as those ridiculous Cupids that year?"

James laughed. "Well, I gave Remus five gallons, I told Sirius that if he ever meets a girl that he wants to do something special for, I would dress up like that and sing, and Peter, well, Peter just did it."

Lily laughed as well.

"Oh and, by the way, you look beautiful." James added, unable to keep the smile off his face.

"I'm just in my uniform...."

"Good thing too, otherwise I would have some serious competition tonight, not that I don't already, but Sirius and Remus can handle it."

"You sure have a strange way of giving compliments." Lily said with a hint of laughter.

"Is that a 'thank you'?" James said, raising his eyebrows.

"It's a 'you're not being a complete git tonight so I'll let you have this one dance without doing something terrible to you'."

"I'll take that." James said happily, sweeping her off around the dance floor.

_Oh, Lily, what have you done? _ She asked herself.

When the song ended, James led Lily to the edge of the dance floor.

"Thank you." He said quietly.

"For what?"

James smiled at the puzzled look on her face. "For giving me the best Valentine's Day I've ever had."

Lily smiled slightly. "Don't get used to it."

James laughed, kissed her on the cheek, winked, and set off to find his friends, running a hand through his untidy hair as he went.

"You know, Lily-flower," Sirius said, coming to stand beside her. "You'll never find a better guy for you than James."

"I doubt that. He's just a player and I'm just the girl who won't fall for it."

"Not true. He may have had a lot of girlfriends, but what guy would do something like this for you if he just wanted to get you in bed?" He asked, gesturing around at the party. "I know he tries not to show it, but he really cares about you." With that, he was gone, leaving Lily with a lot to think about.

She made her way up to the dormitory, remembering everything that had happened that Valentine's and on the same day in the past years. James Potter had been – nice. Lily did not know what to think anymore. She would not, of course, allow herself to fall for James Potter. He would probably be back to his normal self tomorrow and she would be wishing that she had never given him the time of day.

- - - - - - -

"James, my friend, you have completely out done yourself this time." Sirius said with an evil grin.

The Marauders were sitting at the Gryffindor table for breakfast one morning discreetly, but expectantly, watching Severus Snape.

All four boys were exhausted. The night before had been the first full moon that James, Peter, and Sirius joined Remus in his transformation. He had been angry they had taken such risks for him, but at the same time thrilled he was no longer alone. But with or without sleep, the Marauders were still the best trouble-makers Hogwarts had ever seen.

Suddenly, Snape jumped onto the Slytherin table and declared his undying love for Professor Agatha Gregory, the ancient and decrepit Astronomy teacher. The four Marauders howled with laughter at the sight, James rolling on the floor and Sirius desperately gasping for air.

Snape jumped down and sprinted up to the staff table, where he dropped down on one knee and proposed to a very puzzled-looking Professor Gregory. The boys could hardly stand it. All of them, even Remus, were on the floor with James, clutching their sides and rolling with laughter.

James, finally pulling himself together, noticed someone standing over him. Wiping a tear from his eye, he looked up into the enraged face of Lily Evans.

"Well hello, love." He said, standing up. She glared at him.

"If looks could kill," Sirius muttered to Remus and Peter, who still looked as though they were trying not to laugh.

"Don't you 'hello, love' me!" Lily yelled. "I know that was you, Potter! You spiked his pumpkin juice with a love potion! When are you going to grow up?"

"Calm down, Evans, it was only _Snivillus." James said, noticing how cute she was when she was angry._

_"Well ____Severus__ just happens to be my friend!"_

_"Hey, that's your fault, not mine."_

_"James Potter you are the most disgusting – ____irritating__ – arrogant, immature excuse for a human being I have ever had the misfortune of meeting!" She tried to go on, but it seemed words failed her, so instead, she punched James square in the jaw._

"Miss Evans! I am ashamed of you!" Professor McGonagall said as she approached Lily and the Marauders.

"Sorry, Professor," Lily said, staring at the ground.

"I am assuming you did this because these boys are responsible for what happened to Mr. Snape?"

"Yes, Professor."

"Well, noble as your intentions might have been, Miss Evans, I am afraid I cannot have my students behaving in such a way. Twenty points each will be taken from Gryffindor and all five of you will receive detention. To be served Friday. Be at my office at 7 o'clock."

"Yes, Professor." The five of them chorused as Professor McGonagall dragged Snape to the hospital wing.

"You throw quite a punch, Evans," James said, rubbing his jaw.

Lily gave him a withering look and went to check on Severus.

"Not the way to get the girl, mate."

"Well, _usually,_ the girl isn't friendly with the villain." James answered.

- - - - - - -

"Hey, Lily?" James said as he approached her that night in the common room. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

"No," Lily said, turning away from him and staring at her Healing book.

"Please?" James asked, sitting beside her on the couch. Lily said nothing, but continued leafing through the pages. "Listen," James went on, dropping his voice so no one else could hear. "I wanted to apologize."

The statement, so foreign to James' lips, actually made Lily put her book down and look at him, an expression of shock on her face.

"What?" She asked, unable to be certain she had even heard correctly.

"Haha, very funny. Look, I know Snivi– Snape's your friend. So I'm," his voice dropped again, "sorry."

"But why do you do those things to him?" Lily asked, searching his hazel eyes. "He's never done anything to you."

"Honestly, I don't know." James said absently, losing himself in her emerald eyes. "He just aggravates me."

"I know the feeling."

James raised his eyebrows and moved closer to Lily. "So you think you hate me as much as I hate Snape?"

"It's not unlikely." Lily said, never breaking eye contact.

"You just wait, darling. One day I'll get through to you."

"You keep telling yourself that." Lily said, looking back down at her book.

"I will, love. And I'll keep telling it to you too." James said, echoing Lily's own words from the Ball. The redhead couldn't conceal a small smile.

- - - - - - -

Lily ate dinner quickly Friday night, not wanting to be late for detention. She said a quick goodbye to Alice and Vanessa before running upstairs to leave her bag in the common room.

She arrived outside McGonagall's office a few minutes early and was soon joined by Remus, Peter, Sirius, and James. Sirius was complaining about having to leave dinner early, though he had already eaten enough to feed a small elephant.

"Hello, darling," James said when he saw Lily. His hand jumped to his already messy black hair. "Don't tell me we're the cause of your first detention."

"It's not my first," Lily said lightly, deciding to ignore the pet name. "But you were the cause. I got two back in second year for setting those bees on you."

The boys laughed.

"I still can't believe you did that, Lily-flower." Sirius said.

"I still can't believe _you_ wore a diaper." Lily retorted.

James, Peter, and Remus roared with laughter. Sirius sputtered, trying to think of a comeback, something he usually had no trouble with.

Just then, the door to Professor McGonagall's office opened.

"Ah, good." She said when she saw them. "Mr. Lupin and Mr. Black, Mr. Filch has requested you serve detention in the trophy room this evening. He is there to give you instructions. Mr. Potter, Miss Evans, you will be cleaning out the storeroom in the Potions classroom. Mr. Pettigrew, you will be helping Professor Sprout.

James could have jumped for joy. He would be spending detention with Lily Evans. He tried to keep the excitement off his face as Professor McGonagall took their wands and bid them goodnight. They each headed off toward their separate detentions.

"Oi!" Sirius' voice said from behind James. Lily whirled around, looking for its owner.

James laughed and pulled a mirror from his back pocket.

"Hey, Pad. Tough luck, getting stuck with Filch." James said. Lily fell into step beside him and saw Sirius' face looking up at them from the mirror.

"Well, you got all the luck tonight, Prongs. We can't all the girl of our dreams all to ourselves." Sirius said, and then, pretending to have just noticed Lily, added, "Oh Lily-flower! _Lovely_ to see you."

James laughed. "I do plan on having her all to myself, which means no more interruptions from you!" He joked, shoving the mirror back into his pocket.

Normally, Lily would have been mad at James for saying something like that, but her curiosity got the better of her. "What _was_ that?" She asked.

"Two-way mirror." James explained. "We got them for whenever we're in separate detentions."

They had reached Professor Slughorn's office. James knocked and the Potions master was there almost immediately.

"Ah, Miss Evans, Mr. Potter, I was just on my way to the staff room. Just clean out the storeroom as best you can. Get rid of anything that has expired. No magic, now." He chuckled. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Professor." They said in unison and made their way through the Potions classroom and into the storeroom.

"_Bloody Hell_...." James said when he opened the door. "This'll take all night."

For indeed, the shelves were overflowing with boxes, viles, tubs, and jars containing all sorts of putrid smelling things.

All of a sudden, James plunged his entire face into Lily's hair and inhaled. Lily jerked away.

"_What are you doing_?"

"Your hair, it always smells like vanilla. I figured it might be the last good thing I ever smell." James said as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Lily rolled her eyes, not sure whether to be touched or worried by the fact that he paid attention to the smell of her hair.

"Come on, we'd best get started if we want to finish before dawn." She said, taking a deep breath and dragging him into the storeroom.

"And what if I don't want to finish? What if I'd rather spend more time with you?"

"Puh-_lease_." Lily said. "Your cutesy little one-liners may work on the other girls here, but in case you haven't noticed, I'm not other girls."

"Believe me," James said quietly, staring into her eyes. "I know."

Lily cleared her throat, tearing her eyes away from his. "Let's get started then, shall we?"

Though she would never admit it, Lily actually had a good time that night. The pair had fun trying to guess what everything was and what kinds of potions they could possibly be used in.

It was nearing two in the morning and they were almost done when James, standing on his toes on the step stool, knocked a vat of age-old troll blood over, covering Lily and himself.

"Are you alright?" He asked, jumping down and hoping that she was not angry.

Lily wiped the blood from her eyes, looked at James for a moment, and burst out laughing.

"Er, Lily? Are you feeling alright?" He asked, putting a hand to her forehead.

"I'm, I'm – fine!" Lily said through her laughter, she was clutching her sides and tears were forming in her eyes.

James, deciding that Lily was clearly not angry, joined in. The whole situation _was _laughably absurd.

They laughed for almost ten minutes. Finally calming down and gasping for breath, Lily grabbed the mop and began cleaning the floor.

"It's no use, love." James smiled as Lily spun around in circles making more drops than she was able to clean.

"I suppose you're right." Lily said, putting the mop down.

"Wait, Lily Evans – THE Lily Evans – just admitted that I, James Potter, was _right_?"

"I did, didn't I?" Lily laughed. "Well, remember it then, because you won't ever hear me say it again."

"I think I'll remember this night anyway." James laughed, ringing some of the troll blood out of his robes.

"What do we do? Professor McGonagall took our wands so we couldn't use magic, but how do we get rid of the blood so we can finish?" Lily asked, sitting down on an upturned bucket.

"Well, darling, disgusting though it may be, I think we'll just have to wait for it to dry and finish up then."

"That could take _ages_." Lily said.

"I'm perfectly fine with waiting." James said with a grin, sitting against the wall and patting the floor beside him.

"Only because I'd rather not fight with you at the moment." Lily said as she got off the bucket and plopped down beside him.

"So.... Are things just going to go back to normal tomorrow?" James asked, trying to keep a hint of sadness out of his voice.

"What do you mean?"

"You know, I ask you out, you call me an obnoxious git, the usual."

"Well, _you can _be an obnoxious git." Lily said reasonably, but she was smiling. "You're being nice tonight."

"I'm always nice to you, love."

"But not to other people." James knew she meant Snape.

"So does that mean you would date me if I was nicer to Snivillus?" He asked hopefully.

"_Severus_. And no, not date you. But I would consider being friends with you."

"I'll take that, love."

"But if we ever become friends, you have to stop with the pet names." Lily said, crossing her arms.

"I'm sorry, darling, but you're just too, well, _darling_, for me to resist."

Lily rolled her eyes. "I already told you those lines don't work on me."

"They aren't lines, hun, I mean every word."

"Mmhmm." Lily said sarcastically. She yawned and leaned her head back on the wall. "Wake me when the blood's dry."

"I will."

James watched as Lily's breathing evened out and she was soon fast asleep. The troll blood dried quickly, so James heaved himself up and mopped the floor and put the empty vat in the waste bin. He gently scooped Lily into his strong arms and easily moved her over enough to clean the blood from where she was sitting. He finished just after three in the morning, and, too tired to make the trek up to the dormitories, sat back down beside Lily.

In her sleep, she looked so vulnerable, and so content. James smiled at the thought that just maybe, she trusted him enough now to allow him to see her in such a vulnerable state. But then again, it could have been due to the fact that she was utterly exhausted.

Ha watched her sleep for a moment more, a goofy smile of adoration on his face, before brushing a strand of long, red hair from her face, kissing her on the forehead, and leaning back to get some sleep as well.

**________________________**

**Phew! Longest chapter yet! I hope it wasn't too long.... Please let me know what you thought! Reviews are greatly appreciated! **

**Peace!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_Life is just a mirror, and what you see out there, you must first see inside of you._


	10. Heart to Heart

**Ugh. This was supposed to be up two days ago, but the evil step mother had other plans. Haha.**

**Thanks to_ Ally Kitten _and_ mimimi213 _for reviewing!!**

**As always, let me know if you see any typos, and I hope you enjoy!**

**PLEASE REVIEW! I would love to get more than one review per chapter! Haha. I love you all!**

**Here we go...**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

_Leave love to your heart, don't let your head get in the way._

**Chapter Ten: Heart to Heart**

James was woken the next morning by a short scream as Lily realized where she was. His head, which had been resting on top of hers, hit the floor as she jumped up in surprise.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" She said, pulling him into a sitting position and plopping back down beside him.

"Kiss it and make it better?" James said, rubbing his head.

"Not a chance." Lily said, the corners of her mouth twitching into a smile.

"Bloody hell, we smell something f_ierce_." James said, wrinkling his nose. "We should probably get ours wands and take showers before the stench seeps into our skin."

"Does that happen?"

"Dunno." James said, frowning.

Lily laughed a bit and allowed James to pull her to her feet.

They reached McGonagall's office and knocked. She opened the door a moment later and stared at them, horrified, for they were still covered in blood.

"What happened to you two?" She exclaimed.

"We spilled troll blood while we were cleaning and fell asleep waiting for it to dry so we could finish." Lily explained, yawning widely. "We're done, so we came to get our wands."

McGonagall disappeared into her office and returned a moment later.

"Here you are. And I would suggest taking showers before you return to your dormitories." She looked pointedly at James, who grinned.

"Thanks, Professor." He said as he and Lily began walking in the direction of the Common Room.

They were almost there when James stopped and spun Lily around to face him.

"Look," he began. "I really am going to try to be nicer to Snape."

"Really?" Lily asked, she had thought James had been too tired the night before to know what he was saying.

"Really, love. You mean more to me than some prank any day."

"Alright." Lily said with a smile. "If you can prove that to me, we'll be friends."

They walked in silence a moment before Lily remembered something.

"Thank you for finishing up last night." She told James. "That was actually kind of.... sweet."

James smiled down at her, but it was not his usual cocky, charming smile. It was a smile of someone who was looking at something they adored, even covered in troll blood. It was a smile he reserved for Lily alone.

- - - - - - -

James entered the Common Room after taking a nice long shower to find Lily, who was wearing Muggle soccer shorts and a t-shirt, her wet hair thrown up into a messy bun, sitting on the floor around a low table in the Common Room with Remus. They were eating toast and drinking coffee and had their Astronomy books open and star charts spread across the table. When James approached them, however, they were not talking about the stars.

"Ugh, Filch made up polish ever trophy in the Trophy Room – twice. With no magic, obviously." He showed Lily his hands, which were far too shiny to be natural. Sirius's are worse though. Filch made him stay later and polish the floor as well."

Lily laughed and James sat down beside her, messing up his wet hair and taking a piece of toast.

"We ended up covered in troll blood." Lily told him, still laughing a bit. "We were almost done when this _genius_," she said sarcastically, pointing at James, "knocked the whole vat on top of us. It was rather funny, but we smelled terrible."

Remus laughed. "Alright, that's disgusting. You win for worst detention."

"Worst?" James asked. "I'd be covered in troll blood any day if it meant spending hours alone with Lily." He winked at her.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but there's a good chance that I would refuse to even_ be in the same room_ with you if you still so much as smelled like troll blood, much less spend time with you."

"But you'd spend time with me if I was clean?" James smirked.

"No, considering you're clean more often then you smell like that, though not by much."

Remus laughed.

"Fine," James said in mock offense. "I can see when I'm not wanted." He stood up and added off-handedly, "I think I'll go put gum in Sirius's ears." He made his way up the stairs to the dormitories calling "See you later, love!" over his shoulder.

"He'd better have been talking to you." Remus joked. Lily laughed and he continued, "We'd best start studying. O.W.L.s are only a month away."

"A man after my own heart." Lily said with a laugh. "Alice and Vanessa don't ever study until the last minute, but somehow they always do fine." She added, noticing Remus' cheeks flush a little at the mention of Vanessa's name.

"That, Lily my friend," he said, as though nothing has happened. "Is why you and I are the top of the class."

They studied Astronomy for roughly an hour and a half (with a brief interruption to watch Sirius chase James around the Common Room, chewed-up wads of gum sticking out of his ears).

"Okay," Lily said, rubbing her eyes. "I don't think I can look at this anymore."

Remus laughed. "You took the words right out of my mouth." With a tap from his wand, the coffee mugs refilled themselves. "Why don't we start on History of Magic?"

"Mmkay." Lily said, gratefully sipping the steaming coffee.

"So, Vanessa, huh?" She ventured as they put their astronomy charts away.

"Uh, well – er," Remus stuttered, his face turning pink.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about! I think you two would be adorable!" Lily said encouragingly.

"But it's just that I – Well, you see I'm – I don't really know how to explain this to you –" He struggled to find an excuse.

"Because you're a werewolf and you're afraid to date anyone because if they ever found out they wouldn't accept you?" She said, lowering her voice though the Common Room was empty. Everyone else had gone outside to enjoy the first warm day of the year.

Remus's jaw dropped. "How did you know?"

"I figured it out. Last year, actually." Lily said, pulling out her History of Magic notes.

"Why didn't you tell me you knew?"

Lily shrugged. "Because it didn't matter. And I figured if you wanted me to know, you would tell me."

Remus stared at her in disbelief. "_What do you mean it didn't matter?_ I turn into a monster once a month for Merlin's sake!"

"Well, it clearly didn't matter to your friends, why should I be any different? Besides, it's not what you _are_, Remus, it's what you _do_. Since we've yet to hear about a bloodthirsty werewolf rampaging through Hogsmeade, and Dumbledore thought enough of you to make you a prefect, I don't see the problem."

"Lily Evans, you are definitely not like other girls."

"And neither is Nessa. I don't know if she knows about you, but I'm sure if she did, it would not stop her from dating you." Lily told him.

"But what if -"

"Look, you can't live your whole life scared of the 'what ifs'. I mean, all of your current, safe boundaries were once way out of your comfort zone, right? You just have to keep stepping outside of it. Your friends will be right behind you. And Vanessa will too, if you give her the chance."

Remus smiled. "I'll think about it. Though I can hardly fail to notice that you sit here giving _me_ relationship advice while _you_ have turned down your perfect match more times than anyone could count."

"It's completely different." Lily said, crossing her arms.

Remus raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

"You're afraid of rejection, and afraid to hurt someone you care about. James Potter, on the other hand, is an immature, arrogant toe rag."

"Lily, you've been telling yourself that for five years. Did you ever consider the fact that he's changed and you've forced yourself to turn a blind eye to it?"

"He has _not_ changed. You saw him give Sev that Love Potion the other day."

"That's true, _but,_ though he's tortured Snape for years, this time he did something a little different, a little better."

"He did?" Lily asked, racking her brain for a way that prank had been different than any of the others.

"Yes, Lily. He apologized to you."

"But that doesn't change the fact that he -" But Remus cut her off.

"It showed that he finally realized that you actually care about Snape, for whatever reason. He doesn't want to hurt you – he never has. So if you give him the chance, he might prove that he could be kinder to Snape."

"Funny you should say that...." Lily said, relaxing her arms.

"Why?"

"Because last night in detention, I told him that we could be friends if he left Sev alone."

"Well, for the two of you, that's more than progress." Remus said with a laugh.

"But he has got to _stop_ with the pet names, and the _kisses_! I'm am _not_ his girlfriend." Lily said firmly.

Remus laughed again. "Just give him time. He's not used to being able to get within ten feet of you without ending up in the Hospital Wing."

Lily laughed. "I guess so. But I'm still not going to date him."

"You keep telling yourself that."

"I will." Lily said, and thought, _and I'll keep telling you that too_, unable to keep a smile off her face.

**________________________**

**There you go! I've been wanting to show other characters besides James and Lily, so I hope you liked Remus! **

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

"_What's life without a few dragons?"_

_- _Ron, GoF movie


	11. Under The Beech Tree

**Woo! New Chapter! Dedicated to the wonderful Wendy (_Gwendolyn92_) for being a fantastic beta!**

**Many thanks to**_**Siriuslyphsyco**__**, BettyCrocker, Lily Potter123, Hannah in Wonderland, **_**and**_** queenphebee **_**for the fabulous reviews!! They are very appreciated! **

**PLEASE REVIEW! I want to get up to 35 reviews on this story (that's 10 on this chapter) before I update! Please? Thanks a million!**

**Here we go...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

_True love begins when nothing is looked for in return._

**Chapter Eleven: Under the Beech Tree**

As O.W.L.s drew nearer, the Gryffindor fifth-years spent more and more time inside, though the weather was only getting nicer.

"It's not fair," James moaned as all nine of the fifth-years sat around a table in the Common Room. "It's a perfect day and we're stuck in here.

"Well, we'll be free after our O.W.L.s! Then, we can spend as much time outside as we want." Alice said optimistically.

"I suppose," James said, looking sadly at his Defense Against the Dark Arts book. "I don't know how you two are managing," he went on, looking across the table at Remus and Lily. "You're taking more subjects than any of us."

The two of them did look exhausted. Remus looked downright ill, but that was due, in part, to the full moon approaching.

"I'm just surprised you and Sirius are actually studying," another fifth-year named Mary MacDonald said, batting her long eyelashes at James. "You're not usually the type to let homework affect you."

Waverly Rivers, Mary's best friend, nodded in agreement while eying Sirius. James flashed his charming smile before glancing at Lily, who pretended not to notice.

James cleared his throat. "I think it's time for a break," he said, standing up, stretching and rumpling his hair.

Mary and Waverly quickly jumped to their feet, goggling at his finely-toned muscles. Sirius, Remus, Peter, Alice and Vanessa stood as well.

"Come on, Lily-flower," Sirius said, reaching out a hand to help her up and earning Lily some jealous glares from Mary and Waverly, who would give anything to have Sirius call them that.

"You all go ahead." Lily said, waving his hand away. Her nose was in a book and dark circles were forming under her bright green eyes. "I really need to study for Healing."

"Come on, Lily," Remus said, a hint of amusement in his voice. "Surely you've read far enough to know that a person can only work for so long before having a break; to not take one is unhealthy."

Lily's eyes widened for a moment. "No, I didn't know that! See, I have to keep studying! I'm not nearly as far as I should be! You go on." She was turning pages furiously, clearly not getting the joke.

"Well, you heard her," Waverly said, grabbing Sirius by the arm. "She doesn't want to come, let's go."

Vanessa, however, knelt beside her friend. "Lily, honey," she said quietly as Alice pried the book from Lily's hands as gently as she could. "You really do need a break. You deserve one. You've been working harder than any of us."

Lily looked doubtful. James made as if to say something, but Remus held up a hand to stop him. Vanessa gave him a grateful look and continued, "Come on, we won't be long. I'll come back early with you if you want."

Lily sighed in a defeated sort of way. "Oh, alright," She said, standing and stretching as well. "Where are we going?"

"Well," James said thoughtfully. "There's the lake, Hagrid's – though I doubt we'd all fit there – the Quidditch pitch, the kitchens -"

"I vote kitchens!" Sirius said quickly. "I'm starving."

"Me too! I'm hungry," Alice agreed with a smile.

"I'm in," Remus added.

"Me too!"

"Me three!"

"Let's go!"

So the nine of them climbed out of the portrait hole, strolled through the deserted corridors, took a shortcut behind a tapestry, tickled the pear and entered the kitchens. They were immediately surrounded by house elves trying to help them. They asked for sandwiches and pumpkin juice, which were both given to them right away. They thanked the elves and headed out onto the grounds to enjoy their lunch.

They flopped down under a shady beech tree by the lake and basked in the warmth of the day.

"The weather is absolutely lovely!" Lily said happily, green eyes sparkling. "Thanks for making me come!"

"Anytime, Lils," Vanessa said, opening the brown paper sack the elves had given her. "Oh, yum, turkey! My favorite!"

They opened their lunches to find they all had been given their favorite kind of sandwich. Sirius had been given more than the rest of them, seeing as he ate like a starving dog. They ate and talked happily about everything except the upcoming exams. Lily kept an eye on Remus and Vanessa, who were getting on very well. Mary and Waverly were flirting shamelessly with James and Sirius, and even eying Remus now and then. Indeed, while Sirius was ruggedly handsome, and James was athletic and angular, there was something about Remus that was hard to ignore. His honey-brown eyes were always warm and welcoming; he was rugged, like Sirius, but he had the werewolf in him to thank for that. He had a laugh and a smile that could melt any girl's heart if she took the time to get past the strong and silent exterior. But Remus paid the other girls no attention, his eyes were only for Vanessa. Sirius, of course, flirted shamelessly back, as did James, though he continually tried to bring Lily into the conversation. Alice was staring dreamily at Frank Longbottom, who was lounging across the lake with some other Gryffindor sixth-years. Peter sat, mostly watching the others and laughing along when someone told a joke and looking as though he was thrilled just to be included.

After a blissful hour of laughing by the lake, Remus yawned and stood up. "We'd best head back in," he said. "It's getting late."

Lily jumped up and pulled Alice with her; the others sadly followed suit, not wanting the fun to end.

- - - - - - -

A tradition was formed for the nine Gryffindor fifth-years. On the weekends, they would study all day, then get a late lunch from the house elves and eat it under their favorite beech tree by the lake.

"We should do this for exams every year," Alice said happily one afternoon as they lay on their backs trying to find pictures in the clouds.

"Definitely," they all agreed.

Despite her constant studying, Lily became more and more stressed as O.W.L.s loomed nearer. She was taking the most subjects than anyone else in her year – more than even Remus – and could be seen every night on the floor in the Common Room surrounded by books, notes, spare parchment and quills. There were bruise-like circles under her green eyes that only grew worse as she stayed up studying every night until she fell asleep where she sat.

"I'm getting worried about Lily," Vanessa told Remus one night as he helped her with History of Magic. "She's going to make herself sick. She hasn't eaten dinner for days and hardly touches breakfast or lunch because there's always something she has to study. She gets two hours of sleep a night, if that. Her body can't handle this."

Remus, mustering all of his courage, reached out and took her hand. He gave it a comforting squeeze and was rewarded with a small smile.

"I wish I knew what to do," he said worriedly, looking over at Lily, who seemed to be wasting away before their eyes. "But she won't let anyone near enough to talk sense into her."

"Not even Alice," Vanessa added sadly.

Just then, James came through the portrait hole with a paper sack in his hand. Without a thought for his personal safety, he marched across the Common Room straight to where Lily sat.

"Lily, darling?" he said cautiously, stepping over and around her books and papers and plopping down beside her.

"What do you want?" she asked harshly; she would have glared at him – or hexed him, even – but she did not want to take her eyes off her Divination textbook.

"I want you to listen to me, just for a moment." He put a finger under her chin and lifted her head so she was looking at him. He slowly took the book out of her hands and replaced it with the paper sack. "I brought you something to eat. Starving yourself won't do you any good."

Lily rolled her tired eyes, but opened the bag.

"Grilled chicken salad," he told her as she pulled a covered bowl from the sack. "With Italian dressing."

"My favorite," Lily said, raising her eyebrows. "How did you know?"

"Come on, love. You know I've practically stalked you for the last five years. It'd be pretty pathetic if I didn't know something as basic as your favorite food." He laughed at the look on Lily's face. She looked torn between disgust and amusement. As stressed as she was, she laughed a little with him.

"That's better," he said, thrilled that he had been able to make her laugh.

"You know," She told him as she started eating. "I'm beginning to think you, Remus and Sirius were right for dropping Divination last year. It's getting more and more ridiculous by the day."

"Well, I, for one, didn't need it," he said, an adoring smile on his face. "As long as you're in my future, nothing else matters."

Lily blushed a little, something James had not been able to make her do in a long time. His smile grew wider than ever – she was beautiful.

"And what makes you so sure I'm going to be in your future?" she challenged.

"Because I'm not ever giving up on you," he said simply.

"You're lucky I'm so tired." Lily said, putting down the empty salad bowl. "On a normal day, I would punch you for saying something like that."

James laughed. "That brings me to the other thing I want you to do."

"There's something else? I've already had to listen to you and you're asking me to do more?" Lily said with as much sarcasm as she could come up with at her level of exhaustion.

James smiled and pulled a small vial from his pocket. It was filled with a clear liquid. "This is a Peaceful Potion," he explained. "I had Slughorn make it for you, since my Potions never turn out right.... I want you to drink this and go to bed. You're wearing yourself out."

"Why did you not just put it in my drink?" Lily asked. "Surely that would be easier than to convince me to take it."

"I thought about it. But I'd rather sit here and argue than slip it into your drink and never have you trust me again."

"Well, your arguing is in vain. I have to keep studying. O.W.L.s are next week for Merlin's sake!" she said, so stressed that she was on the verge of tears.

"Lily, love, listen to me." James said, putting his hands on her shoulders. "You are the smartest witch I have ever met. I'm not trying to flatter you. You truly are. You're going to do amazing on the exams. I know it without a doubt. Please, love, I won't force you to take this, but I really think you should."

Lily sighed in defeat and held her hand out for the vial. James grinned at her and handed it over.

"I'll clean up your stuff, so don't worry about it," he told her gently, helping her to her feet. He led her to the bottom of the stairs. "Just drink it right before you get in bed. Goodnight." He kissed her on the temple, hoping that the Peaceful Potion would make her forget he did so, and she headed up to her dormitory. A few steps up, though, she stopped.

"James?" she said quietly, and the use of his first name startled him.

"Yes, love?"

"Thank you."

"Anytime, darling."

James went over to where he and Lily had been sitting. He threw her trash away and neatly put her books and notes back into her bag. When everything was put away, he went to join Remus and Vanessa, who looked at him, awestruck.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" Vanessa squealed, standing up and throwing her arms around him. "I don't know how you did it, but thank you!"

James laughed a little and patted her back. "Honestly, I don't know how I did it either," he told her. She let him go and sat back down, looking as though a burden had been lifted. "I guess I'll go to bed too." he said. He waved goodnight and made his way up the staircase to the boys' dormitory.

"Maybe," Remus said, looking thoughtful, "maybe after all these years she's finally warming up to him."

"You know," Vanessa said, watching James disappear up the stairs, "if you had told me that yesterday, I would have said that I certainly hoped she wasn't. I'd always thought that the only reason James was so nice to her all the time was because she was the only girl to ever turn him down. I thought she was just a challenge to him, a game. But after what he just did, I mean, Peaceful Potions will make you forget what happened to you directly before you take it. Healers usually use them on trauma patients, so Lily won't remember that he helped her at all. He did that without any chance of reward. Maybe he actually does care about her."

"I kind of thought she was a game too up until this year, but then Lily and I became better friends and I started paying more attention to the way James treated her. He doesn't act like she's some trophy that he wants for show, like I originally thought. He acts like she's...." Remus could not think of a good comparison.

"He acts like she's a princess, and that she deserves to be treated like one," Vanessa finished, a smile on her face.

Remus looked at Vanessa's smile, at her kind, loving, trusting face, and made a decision.

"Speaking of Lily," he began. "I was talking to her the other day and there's something I wanted to tell you."

"What is it, Remus?" he smiled when she said his name.

"Well, I just, I don't know how you're going to take it. Most people don't take it very well."

Vanessa smiled knowingly. "I think I know what you're going to say," she said, trying to make it easier for him.

"Oh, you do?" he said, an amused look on his handsome face. "Let's hear it, then."

She glanced around the Common Room before lowering her voice to a whisper. "You're a werewolf."

"Am I that obvious?" Remus asked in disbelief.

Vanessa laughed. "No, not really. Actually, back in third year, I heard you tell your friends that you were going to the library to look up summoning spells. It was something I was also interested in, so I followed you. I figured you'd know your way around the library better than I would. We ended up in the section on magical creatures and I saw you picking up werewolf books. Then I noticed that you were always gone at full moon and, after that, everything just sort of fell into place." She was blushing a good deal by the end of her story. "I'm sorry," she said. "I shouldn't have been nosy, I just -"

She stopped talking when Remus laughed. "It's perfectly alright," he said, smiling. "But doesn't it bother you?"

"Well, at first, yes, it did a bit," she said, staring at her hands in her lap. "But then I started getting to know you and you were so nice. Then there was James, Sirius and Peter. I thought they had to know, yet they still loved you like you were their brother, so much that you could never have said a word to me and they would have been enough for me to know that you were more than just a monster."

"Remind me to thank them, then," Remus said, smiling widely. "I really hoped it wouldn't bother you, but it does bother so many people I couldn't be sure. Then Lily told me just to tell you, so here I am."

"Lily's a good friend," Vanessa said, smiling back. "She always seems to know what's best for other people, even if she doesn't know what's best for herself. I'm glad you wanted to tell me, though. It means a lot that you trust me with a secret like that."

"I think you've proven yourself trustworthy, knowing for all these years and never telling."

"It wasn't my secret to tell, and don't worry. It's still safe with me. It always will be."

**________________________**

**Did you like it? I wanted to show a snippet of Remus and Vanessa's budding relationship, I hope you like them! Please let me know! **

**PLEASE REVIEW! I want 10 remember!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_He's the kind of guy that knows he can't make the clouds disappear, but he shows everyone that the sun is shining behind them._


	12. The Worst Memory

**I asked for 10 reviews and got 5, very disappointing guys, BUT since I am such a wonderful, kind, fantastic writer, I'm going to give you this one anyway, XD**

**Thanks to Wendy for beta reading and to the five wonderful souls who did review (and to _Queenie's Broken Heart_ for reviewing the first chapter). I love you all to bits! This one's for you!**

_Everyone says "love hurts", but that isn't true. Loneliness hurts, rejection hurts, but love, love never hurts._

**Chapter Twelve: The Worst Memory**

"Quills down, please!" squeaked tiny Professor Flitwick as the fifth-year students finished their Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L.

Lily let out a sigh of relief. It had been much easier than she'd expected. She had almost laughed out loud when she read Question Ten (Give five signs that identify the werewolf) and automatically thought of Remus. Lily quickly shoved her exam paper and quill into her bag and joined Alice and Vanessa in the throng of people trying to get out of the Great Hall. The three girls made their way down to the lake where they took off their shoes and put their feet in the cool water. None of them saw Avery slink across the lawn and hide behind a bush near the lake to keep a watchful eye on the Marauders.

"Er, guys?" Vanessa said, turning slightly pink. "I want to tell you something."

"What is it, Nessa?" Alice asked eagerly.

"Well, the more I get to know Remus, the more I think I might like him. You know, like him." Lily and Alice, sitting on either side of Vanessa, squealed and hugged her tightly.

"Good for you!" Alice said happily. "Remus is so cute! And he's such a sweetheart!"

"But, I don't know. I mean, he's always so nice to me, but he's nice to everyone. And he's one of the best looking guys in the school! I don't know if I should even hope for a chance with him; he can potentially have just about any girl he wants," Vanessa said, frowning. Lily and Alice looked at each other. It was not like Vanessa to be insecure. Oh, the things a silly boy could do!

"Oh come on, Nessa! You're gorgeous! And smart, and funny, and sweet! How could he not fall for you?" Lily said encouragingly.

"You should have seen him those days when we were out here taking breaks from studying!" Alice said. "Mary and Waverly had their charm turned on full blast, but all he seemed to see was you."

"Really?" Vanessa asked hopefully.

"Really," Lily and Alice said together.

"He's just a little shy," Lily told her. "He'll warm up soon. I know it."

"I hope so," Vanessa said, glancing over to where the four boys sat under their favorite beech tree.

Meanwhile, Avery, seen by nobody, whispered "Imperio" with his wand pointed directly at James.

A few minutes later, James and Sirius were surrounded by onlookers. They were taunting and cursing Severus Snape. Remus stood in the back of the crowd, clearly disapproving of what his friends were doing. Avery stood near the front; his wand was hidden in his sleeve, but it was still pointed at James, whose eyes were slightly glazed over.

"I should never have believed him," Lily whispered when she saw what was happening. Pushing her hurt feelings aside, she stood up and marched straight into the crowd. "Leave him ALONE!"

- - - - - - -

"Lily?" Alice asked timidly. Her friend was sobbing into her pillow in the girls' dormitory.

"Go away," Lily choked out.

"Lily, please," Alice said softly. "Please talk to me. I know you were friends with Sna – with Severus, but I've heard his friends in Slytherin are quite.... bad, and he called you a – a, well maybe it's better...." Alice, usually eloquent, was struggling for the words that would console Lily.

"Better that he ditches me for them?" Lily asked harshly, sitting up. Her eyes were red and puffy.

"Oh, no, Lily," Alice, said, wrapping her arms around her friend and mentally kicking herself for not coming up with something better to say.

"Erm, Lily?" Mary MacDonald said, standing awkwardly at the door. "The Snape boy is outside and wants to talk to you."

"Tell him I don't want to hear anything he has to say."

"I did, actually, but he threatened to sleep in the hallway unless you go talk to him."

Lily sighed; that was the Sev she knew. But she could not be his friend anymore. It was over. She stood up, wiped her eyes and bravely made her way through the Common Room and out the portrait hole.

– **Meanwhile –**

"James," Remus said angrily, following the other three boys into the dormitory, "we need to talk."

"Before you yell at me for hurting Lily, I know," James said, a pained look on his face. "You have to believe me, I did not want to do that, but--all of a sudden--I couldn't think straight. There was this voice in my head telling me that I had to attack Snape. I tried to tell it no, but before I knew it, I was hexing him."

"Wait," Sirius said, confused. "Why would you not want to attack Snape? We do it all the time."

"Lily told me that we could be friends if I left Snape alone," James explained, thoroughly miserable. "I really wanted that, Pad." Before Sirius could say anything, Remus's eyes widened in shock. "Was it like there was a fog in your mind?"

"Yeah, like the voice was all I could hear and all I could do was obey what it said."

Remus started pacing and muttering to himself; the other Marauders catching phrases like "it has to be," and "but who?"

"Any day now," Sirius said impatiently.

Remus stopped pacing and looked at James. "Someone put you under the Imperius Curse," he said gravely.

James stared at him, horrified and shocked. His expression was mirrored on the faces of Peter and Sirius.

"Why?" was all he could say.

"It must have been someone who didn't want you to keep your promise to Lily. Or someone who didn't want her to be friends with Snape." Remus said and resumed his pacing.

"Well," Peter said, "all the girls here would kill to go out with any of you. Maybe it was someone who was jealous of Lily."

"But it has to be someone powerful, someone who wouldn't mind the fact that the Imperious Curse is one of the Unforgivable Curses."

"Maybe old Lucius Malfoy went gay and came back for you, mate," Sirius joked, but went on more seriously, "The second option is probably more likely."

"I agree," Remus said. "It would have been someone who was threatened by the fact that Lily and Snape were friends."

"I heard them talking once--Lily and Snape, that is--in the courtyard!" Peter piped up, happy to have useful information. "She told him that she didn't like his friends, particularly Mulciber and Avery!"

"Don't wet yourself," James, Sirius, and Remus said automatically.

"They must have heard it too. I bet it was one of them," James said.

"But how do we prove it?"

"I don't care about proving it to anyone but Lily." James said fiercely. He stood up and walked down the staircase to the Common Room. Before he had a chance to look for Lily, however, his vision was blocked by Alice Hinton, her huge blue eyes full of rage.

– **Meanwhile –**

"I'm sorry," Severus told Lily as she came out of the portrait hole.

"I'm not interested."

"I'm sorry!"

"Save your breath. I only came out here because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here," Lily said in the harshest tone she had ever used with Severus.

"I was. And I would have done. I never meant to call you a Mudblood, it just -" he pleaded.

"Slipped out? It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends – you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?" Severus seemed to be at a loss for words.

"I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

"No – listen, I didn't mean -"

"To call me a Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus, so why should I be any different?" His full name felt strange coming from her mouth, since in the past she had only called him Sev. She couldn't take it anymore; the tears were welling up so she turned and climbed back through the portrait hole before he could see them fall.

Severus Snape watched her go. He blinked his beetle-black eyes and – not for the last time – shed a tear for Lily Evans.

– **Meanwhile –**

"You! You horrible, idiotic, arrogant piece of filth!" Alice screamed at James, words coming freely now. Every eye in the Common Room was on them. "Severus was one of Lily's best friends! So what if you didn't care for him! All she asked was that you leave him alone! That was all she wanted and she would have been your friend! You go on and on about how much you care for Lily! Did you not think that maybe, just maybe you could stop being a selfish prat for one second and realize that she cared about him! Did you not think that hurting him might hurt her too! How would you feel if someone did that to Sirius or Remus all the time!?"

Alice was nothing short of terrifying when she was angry. She was usually so innocent and sweet and childlike that it was hard for anyone to picture her this furious. She looked as if she would just grab James around the neck and strangle him if she were strong enough.

James, on the other hand, did not argue. He just stood there and let her yell at him in front of the whole House, but he did not care; he was miserable enough.

"Why are you not arguing with me?" Alice yelled, still angry, but taken aback at his silence.

Before she knew what was happening, James had grabbed her hand and dragged her up to the boys' dormitory.

"What are you doing?" She screamed at him as he pulled her inside and sat her on the end of his bed. Sirius, Remus, and Peter looked as though they wanted to ask the same thing.

"Listen to me, Alice, please," James said, squatting in front of her so that his pleading eyes were levelled(?) with her angry ones. "I. Did. Not. Want. To. Attack. Snape," he said slowly and carefully so she would not miss a word. Alice only scoffed.

"Please, just hear me out. It's true that I have enjoyed attacking him every single time I've done it in the past. But – as I'm sure Lily told you, from your, uh, speech just a moment ago – it is true that if I was nice to Snape, she would've been my friend. I wanted that Alice, you have no idea how much I wanted that! So I really was making every effort to just ignore him, but today - "

"What? You couldn't go for so long without being an arrogant git?" Alice said harshly.

"No," James said, ignoring her rudeness. "Remus--well, you're going to think we're crazy, but Remus thinks someone put me under the Imperius Curse."

Whatever the boys expected her to do, it was not laugh, but laugh she did. "Is that really the best you, the famous Marauders, can come up with?"

When no one laughed with her, however, she stopped. "You're serious?" she asked, looking around them all. Remus nodded gravely.

"But who?" she almost whispered, her once furious eyes now showing fear.

"Mulciber or Avery," James said, standing up.

"Why?"

"Because," Remus explained, "they knew Lily was trying to get Snape to keep his distance from them. They didn't like that. So they made it look like it was just another one of our jokes. I mean, everyone would believe it. They knew Lily would come to his rescue and that Snape wouldn't like it, at least not in front of his Slytherin friends. I think they were hoping something like that would happen."

"That makes sense," Alice said slowly, trying to decide if she should believe them. She looked around at the four boys, who were usually boisterous but were now solemn. She knew all of this could be a trick, a plot by the Marauders to be able to attack Snape and still give James a chance with Lily, but was Snape really worth the trouble? Alice could not ignore the sincerity in James' eyes when he told her that he wanted a friendship with Lily. And Remus was always honest with people, and this seemed to be his idea. Hoping she was doing the right thing, Alice made her decision. "It's going to take a lot to convince Lily, though."

"She's worth a lot," James said with a small smile. "More than a lot, really."

Alice could not help but smile widely at this. "Do you want me to talk to her for you?"

"Not yet," James said, shaking his head. "I want to try first."

So the five of them headed down to the common room.

- - - - - - -

Lily came through the portrait hole just in time to see James and his friends – tiny little Alice was hidden from view by Sirius – come down the stairs. He tensed for a verbal lashing far worse than Alice's when she approached them; he was willing to take it though, if it meant she would talk to him.

"I believed you," she said, her voice barely a whisper, which caught James off-guard. "For a while there I actually believed you. But no. James Potter could never care about anything more than his precious pranks. But the way you said you meant it and that you were going to try – well, congratulations, Potter, I fell for it. I fell for it! You win, okay? You don't have to pretend to care anymore. The game's over. You can move on to some other poor girl now." James made as if to say something, but Lily cut him off.

"Please, James," she said, her green eyes brimming with tears, "please just leave me alone." And she ran up to her dormitory before the tears could fall.

"So," Sirius said after a moment. "That went well." James gave him a whithering look.

"I'm going to go talk to her," Alice said. "Should I tell her?"

"No. Not yet," James said firmly. "I want to be the one to tell her. I want to apologize."

"But it wasn't your fault," Alice said.

"But I still hurt her. I have to make it right."

"You had better do a hell of a good job, James Potter." Alice said fiercely, catching the boys by surprise. But she smiled and added, "Because if you don't end up with her, I'll cry." And with that she turned and followed Lily up to the girls' dormitory.

__________________________________

**Well, there you have it! I want to know what you think about the whole Imperius Curse thing!**

**And the next chapter has already been written and sent to Wendy, but I want those reviews this time first. Seriously!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_Love all, trust few, do wrong to none. - Shakespeare_


	13. The Journey Home

**Yay! Chapter Thirteen!! Big thanks to Wendy, as always, she's the best!**

**Also thanks to _BettyCrocker, archakr, Eternally Inquisitive, 1AnotherSakura1, mimimi213, _and_ xXxAliceXCullenxXx_ for the lovely reviews! I love you all to bits!**

**And this chapter is dedicated to _Queenie's Broken Heart_ for being the only person to review every single chapter, I really appreciate it. Thank you Queenie!**

**Please enjoy and PLEASE REVIEW!**

**I want 10 reviews on this chapter, pretty please?**

_The heart does things for reasons that reason does not understand._

**Chapter Thirteen: The Journey Home**

Despite the many attempts James made to talk to Lily alone, and Alice's pleading for her to listen to him, no progress was made. Lily turned a deaf ear whenever the subject was brought up in the dormitory by Alice or Vanessa (who had been informed of the situation by Alice and Remus). She avoided James completely by spending hours in the library helping younger students prepare for their upcoming exams and taking different routes to and from the Common Room. James was as persistent in chasing Lily as she was in running from him, but in spite of his valiant efforts, he remained unsuccessful.

Soon enough, it was the last day of term and almost all of the students were in their dormitories doing some last-minute packing.

Lily gasped. She had been looking under her bed for a shoe when she spotted the necklace she had been given last Christmas.

"I'd forgotten about this!" she exclaimed, holding it up for Alice and Vanessa to see.

"We never found out who gave it to you!" Alice said, slightly disappointed.

"I think we have a pretty good idea," Vanessa smirked.

"Who? James?" Alice asked. Vanessa nodded.

"Well, if it was," Lily said, holding it out the open window, "it'll be gone before you can say 'darling'."

"Oh, but Lily, it's beautiful!" Alice said, trying to grab the necklace, but Lily moved it out of her reach. "Besides, we don't know if it was James or not; it could have been anyone."

"_May this moon shine on your dreams as brightly as you shine on mine_?" Lily quoted from the note. "Come on, that's a James Potter line if I ever heard one."

"But -" Vanessa started.

"Calm down you two," Lily laughed. "I'll keep it for now, but the instant we find out it was James, I'm getting rid of it."

Alice sighed and crossed her arms. "Fair enough. But in order to find out if it was him, you're going to have to talk to him."

"Why are you on his side?" Lily asked, folding a clean pair of robes.

"_I can't tell you_. He wants to tell you himself. But please, trust me. You won't regret talking to him."

"It's true," Vanessa added. "He's not as bad as you're determined to think he is."

"Does _everyone_ know something I don't?" Lily groaned.

"You would know if you'd just listen to him!" Alice and Vanessa said together.

Lily sighed in defeat. "I'll think about it. No promises though."

"Good enough for me!" Alice said happily, hugging Lily around the neck.

- - - - - - -

James, Sirius, and Peter were throwing things pel-mel into their trunks, hardly bothering to make sure they owned them. Remus, having packed early, looked on in amusement.

"I'm worried that Lily's never going to listen," James told them bitterly.

"I know I keep saying it," Sirius began, sneaking a pair of rotting socks into Peter's trunk, "but she'll come 'round eventually."

"But when is 'eventually'?"

"You know, Prongs, I wish I knew."

James groaned in frustration.

"You know," Peter said timidly, "you could just date someone else. Almost any girl in the school would-"

"I don't want any girl in the school," James interrupted. "I want Lily. Besides, I've tried dating other girls before. Ever wonder why my relationships never last? Because no other girl in this school even begins to compare with Lily."

"But what it is that you like so much about her?" Peter asked more bravely than before. "I mean, she argues with everything you say, and she's a bit, er, emotional, and she's not really anything special looks-wise except that her hair makes her stand out."

"But, Wormtail, she's _beautiful_!" James said dreamily, lying back on his bed. "Her hair is just the perfect shade of red and she has the cutest freckles across the bridge of her nose. And those eyes! I could stare at them forever. I think it's wonderful when she argues with me. She always keeps me on my toes, and no other girl has ever done that. And she's brilliant, of course. And she's so sweet to everyone, she always gives people a chance, me excluded," James said, laughing to himself. "She helps everyone. She's brave, she stands up for herself and for other people. She is confident to an extent. But at the same time, her self-image is off. She honestly has no idea how lovely she really is, and that just makes her more adorable. She's funny and you can't not have fun with her, as long as she's not angry with you. And she has the most amazing laugh. And her smile -"

Sirius sighed. "They aren't even dating and he's already whipped."

He, Remus, and Peter laughed, leaving James to ramble on and on.

- - - - - - -

The students boarded the Hogwart's Express the next day, thrilled for summer, but, as always, sad to go.

Lily, Alice, and Vanessa found an empty compartment towards the end of the train. They helped each other heave their trunks onto the luggage rack and sat down.

They were soon joined by Remus, Sirius, James, and Peter.

"Er," James said awkwardly, looking at Lily, "normally I wouldn't ask, but everywhere else is full."

"Oh, go on," Lily said impatiently, waving a hand at the empty seats.

James smiled weakly and the boys filed in. Remus took the open seat next to Vanessa and Lily and Alice could not help but grin at each other. Watching Remus fall for Vanessa and Vanessa fall for Remus was one of the cutest things either of the girls had ever seen.

The train was about to start when Alice, Vanessa, Remus, and Peter all looked at Sirius, who nodded discreetly. The five of them bolted out of the compartment and slammed the door behind them. Remus performed a quick little charm to lock the door so that he would be the only one able to open it.

"Hey!" Lily and James yelled together, jumping up.

"You two are staying in there until you work this out," Sirius said through the door. "Oh, and Lily-flower, please don't hurt him too badly now." He gave a bark-like laugh and joined the others in a compartment they had saved earlier across the hall.

Lily groaned and sat back down, her arms folded. "Alright, then. We'd best get this over with. What is it that you've been wanting to say?"

"You'll never believe me," James said, taking the seat opposite her.

"Try me," she growled.

"Well, the day that I attacked Sniv- Snape, I didn't do it on purpose."

Lily laughed, but it was not the usual happy charm-like laugh James had grown to love; this laugh was humorless and cold. "How was that not on purpose?"

James flinched when he heard her cynical tone. "Well, after I promised you I would lay off him, I really tried to. I meant it when I said you meant more to me than some prank."

Lily rolled her eyes.

"I did. And I still do. It gets.... stranger though. This is the part you _really _aren't going to believe. We think, well, we think that someone put me under the Imperius Curse."

Lily stared at him. "You've had over a week and that's all you could come up with?" she asked in disbelief.

James couldn't help but smile a little. "That's what Alice said too. But we explained everything to her and she actually believed us."

Lily raised an eyebrow. "You say that like she shouldn't have."

"Well, I was just surprised. It's quite bizarre."

"Let's hear it then," Lily said, her green eyes narrowing suspiciously.

"Well, Peter said he overheard you talking to Snape about how you didn't like Mulciber and Avery."

The redhead tried to keep her surprise from showing. That was not what she had expected. "Eavesdropping again, are we?" she snapped instead.

"_So_," James continued, ignoring her, "we think that one of them, or both, put me under the Imperius Curse."

"But how does -" James leaned forward and put a finger to her lips, silencing her. She glared at him.

"They knew you would stand up for Snape and they knew if his Slytherin friends were watching, he would be embarrassed that someone of your...blood was fighting his battles. We think they hoped it would cause a fight between the two of you because they saw you as a threat to their, er, 'friendship' with Snape."

"That's ridiculous," Lily argued. "How could _I_ be a threat?"

"Well, Snape trusted you. So, maybe, they thought he would listen to you eventually and stay away from them."

Lily's eyebrows pulled together as she thought about this statement.

"But why would it matter so much to them? I mean, I don't see why they would go to all that trouble just to get rid of me. Why wouldn't they just convince Severus that I was not a good friend or that I shouldn't be trusted or something like that?" she asked.

James looked at her, exasperated. Surely she was not so blind as to miss that slimy git's feelings for her?

"What?" Lily said, confused by this look.

"Lily," James began, not quite sure how to tell her. "Did Snape ever, er, do any thing, uh, more than friendly for you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know, something to indicated that he liked you as more than a friend."

"Don't be ridiculous," Lily exclaimed. It was her turn to look exasperated. "Severus was only ever my friend. Nothing more."

"Lily, he was in love with you!"

Lily stared at him, her eyes wide and her mouth hanging open.

"Is _that_ what this is all about?" she asked. "You thought my best friend was in love with me, so you came up with this whole thing to ruin our friendship? What, did you think I loved him, too? Were you jealous, Potter?"

James was not sure where this conversation had turned so horribly wrong. He just sat there, sputtering for a moment.

"No, Lily!" he finally choked out. "I would never what to hurt you, honestly! I know I hate the git, but I started to realize that you, well, cared about him. I really, truly planned on staying away from him."

"Mmhmm," she said sarcastically.

"Just listen, please," James pleaded. "I only pointed out that fact that he loved you because it proves my point! Mulciber and Avery couldn't fight love! I mean, they want to be _Death Eaters_, so they no _nothing _of love! They would never have been able to convince Snape to stop talking to you so they chose hate instead. His growing hatred for those of your blood! They've been turning him against every other Muggle born over the past few years, so it was natural that he would have that sort of reaction when you stood up for him in front of the Slytherins!"

Lily sat in silence. She did not know what to say. His explanation made sense, but it could easily be some elaborate excuse the Marauders had come up with to get James back on her good side. Then again, Remus was her friend and he was in on this whole thing; she did not think he would lie to her. She also knew Mulciber and Avery were not below Dark magic, but an Unforgivable Curse? And Severus being in love with her? That was crazy! He was her best friend! He had been since they were little, he had never done anything to suggest.... Well, maybe that was not true. Sometimes the things he said to her had made her wonder, but surely everyone who has a best friend of the opposite gender would have a crush on said friend at some point. But surely only a crush, and they would get over it soon enough, but love? There was no way. Although, Severus had always gotten extremely defensive whenever James asked her out in the past. She had always attributed it to his hatred of James, not his love for her. Was it really possible that Severus Snape had been in love with her?

James watched her, for she was deep in thought. He did not want to disturb her, but waiting was killing him. Did she believe him? Would she ever trust him again? And would all this cause her to go running back to Snivillus and be_ his_ friend again? Or worse, would she fall in love with that greasy haired idiot? No, that was crazy, wasn't it?

Lily had not looked at James yet. She had her head in her hands and was trying to sort through the chaos of thoughts swirling around in her head. She did not know if she believed his story or not. But then, she realized with a jolt that she _wanted_ to believe him. _Where did that come from?_ she thought. Since _when_ did she want to trust _James Potter_? It was very odd. She knew he was waiting for her to say something so she raised her emerald eyes to meet his hazel ones.

She sighed. "I honestly cannot _believe_ I'm saying this, Potter, but I, I actually think that I might, _possibly_, believe you." She made sure she stressed the 'possibly'.

James's jaw dropped. "Really?"

"Yes. Really. Mostly because Remus is in on this, and I trust _him_. But, yes, I suppose I believe you."

James was so happy he could sing. He refrained, however, for the sake of everyone on the train.

"Thank you," he said instead.

"_But_," Lily continued firmly, her eyes never leaving his, "I don't think we can be friends, at least not yet."

"Why? I kept my promise," he asked, moving to sit beside her.

"I know, it isn't that. It's just that Sev was my best friend for years. He meant _the world_ to me, don't look at me like that, I was not in love with him! And he really, er, didn't like you at all. It just doesn't feel right for be to be friends with you all of a sudden as soon as I'm no longer friends with him. It just seems disrespectful." Her voice broke.

Normally James would have pointed out that Snape had run straight back to his Slytherin friends, never bothering to respect the fact that Lily did not approve of them, but Snape had hurt Lily enough. James could see that. And he would never do anything to put her in any more pain.

"It's okay," he said softly, placing a comforting hand on her back gently as her eyes welled up with tears. "I can wait until you're ready."

"Thank you." She knew what he had kept himself from saying; if she could think of it, so could he. "For everything."

"Any time, darling."

His words seemed familiar, as though she had heard them before. For just an instant, she saw James in her mind's eye standing at the foot of the girls' staircase, as though he were wishing her goodnight. She shook her head to clear it. She had no idea where that image had come from.

"Look, Lily, I'll give you a minute, okay? I know you're still upset. Unless you want me to stay."

Lily smiled sadly and shook her head. "I'd rather you not see me cry at the moment."

James laughed softly. "Alright, love, though I'm sure you look beautiful crying." He ignored the urge to kiss her and went instead to bang on the door.

Remus opened it a moment later and James stepped into the hall, closing the door behind him.

"What happened?" Remus asked as they entered the other compartment.

"She believes me," James told everyone. They all looked relieved. "But she said we can't be friends yet."

"Why?"

"Out of respect for Snape, since he never liked me and the two of them were friends for so long."

"Respect!?" Sirius exclaimed. "He didn't respect her at all! Why should _she_ respect _him_?"

"Because Lily's the better person," Vanessa said quietly. James, Alice, and Remus all nodded in agreement.

"And it's okay. I'm willing to wait for her," James said firmly.

"For being so smart, Lily sure was dumb when she turned you down," Alice said. Everyone laughed.

"Where _is_ Lily?" Vanessa asked.

"She was upset when we started talking about Snape, so I left her alone. I didn't think she would take too kindly to me trying to comfort her at the moment," James said.

"I'll go," Alice said, standing up.

"Me too," Vanessa said, right behind her.

The two girls waved at the Marauders and made their way across the hall and into Lily's compartment.

____________________________________

**Did you like it? Love it? Hate it? Let me know!**

**What was your favorite part?**

**Also, just out of curiosity, what has been your favorite chapter so far?**

**Thanks so much! Love you to bits!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_Who doesn't long for someone to hold who knows how to love you without being told?_


	14. The Prince and the Pauper

**Yay! New chapter! I'm very excited. Haha.**

**Mmkayy, thanks so much to _Queenie's Broken Heart, HGHPlove4ever15, _Awesomely Anonymous_, pinkpearl89, RaindropsOnTheRooftop, _and_ mimimi213 _for the reviews! You guys are the reason I'm writing!**

**And this chapter is dedicated to _BettyCrocker_, she has been the very first person to review the last three chapters and she has faithfully reviewed every chapter since she started reading, (at chapter 10, I think?). Anyway, thank you so much!**

**NOTE: This chapter is a bit long because it focuses on Lily and James' lives outside of school and how different they are. Sorry if it gets a little bit over descriptive, I might have gotten a wee bit carried away XD.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

_Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam, be it ever so humble, there's no place like home._

**Chapter Fourteen: The Prince and the Pauper**

The Hogwart's Express pulled into Platform Nine and Three Quarters later that day and Lily, dry-eyed, stepped off the train to look around for her family. She spotted her parents, who were looking slightly awkward but still exhilarated by the sights and sounds of the hidden platform, standing a good ways away by the barrier.

She turned around and looked at Alice and Vanessa, who had followed her off the train.

"I'll see you two soon, okay? We'll definitely get together over the summer!" Lily told her friends, hugging them both tightly.

"Are you ready, dear?" a familiar voice said behind her.

"Mum!" Lily exclaimed, throwing her arms around her mother's neck. "Where's Tuney?" she asked as she hugged her father next.

"Oh, honey," Mrs. Evans said sadly, "she, well, she didn't want to come, dear."

Lily's face fell slightly.

"Oh, well, uh, that's okay. I can see her when we get home," she said sadly as her father loaded her trunk onto a trolley.

James had been standing a few meters away and heard every word. He felt terrible for Lily. He remembered how upset she'd been when she found out her sister had not wanted her to come home over Christmas. He knew that she must mean a lot to Lily.

He watched her fake a smile and half-heartedly tell her parents that the train ride had been 'fun'.

Suddenly, James had an idea. He whispered something to Sirius, who grinned and pulled a mirror from his back pocket as James scribbled something on a spare bit of parchment. They stuck the parchment to the mirror and made their way over to where the girls and Lily's parents were standing.

"Well, Lily, we just came to say goodbye," James said merrily as they approached.

Lily looked startled. "Oh, er, bye then."

"Lily, don't be rude. Who are these handsome young men?" her mother said.

"Oh, sorry. This is James Potter and this is Sirius Black. Pot- I mean, James, Sirius, these are my parents."

"Delighted to meet you," the boys said together. They each kissed one of Mrs. Evans' hands (she blushed furiously) and shook hands with Mr. Evans.

"Same to you. You boys have nice, strong handshakes," Mr. Evans said with a smile. A good handshake was always the first thing he looked for in anyone who wanted to date either of his daughters. "We should be getting home though, before Petunia has another riffraff boyfriend over again."

Lily gave him a worried look, but Mr. Evans just turned, waved to James, Sirius, Alice, and Vanessa, and pushed the trolley back through the barrier that divided Platform Nine and Three Quarters from the Muggle World.

"We would be thrilled to have all of you come stay with us over the summer!" Mrs. Evans told the four of them before smiling and following her husband.

"Well, bye everyone," Lily said, giving Alice and Vanessa one last hug each.

"Where's ours?" Sirius asked as he and James opened their arms wide.

Lily rolled her eyes and turned away, but James and Sirius were not people who took no for an answer. Soon, Lily found herself squeezed between them. Alice and Vanessa looked torn between amusement and aggravation.

Her head hardly came to James's chest, and he was a good three inches shorter than Sirius. She had never noticed how both of them were so tall. And she couldn't help but notice that both of them had very good arm and stomach muscles.

"Don't let your sister get you down, love," James whispered in her ear as he slipped the mirror into Lily's school bag.

She gave a muffled "Hmmph" and pushed away from them. They let her go and she waved to her friends and to Remus, who was standing close by with his family, and she disappeared after her parents.

- - - - - - -

Lily was overjoyed to see the little house in which the Evans family lived. It was not much; rather, it was a tad run-down, for they did not have enough money to keep it up. However, it had a big backyard with a garden and the lake was only a short walk away. She had lived there ever since she was born and when they pulled into the driveway, she nearly sprinted in through door.

"Tuney!" Lily yelled through the little house.

"What do you want?" Petunia called down the stairs.

"Come on, Tuney! I've been gone almost a year! I've missed you!" Lily shouted back as she ran up the creaky staircase to her sister's bedroom.

"Don't call me that!"

"But it's what I've always called you," Lily said. She tried the door, but it was locked.

"Well, I don't like it," Petunia said, opening the door. "Go away."

She slammed it in her little sister's face, making the entire house rattle.

Lily walked sadly back downstairs to find her dad carrying her trunk inside; she moved out of the way and he took it up to her bedroom.

She sat down at the old wooden table in the kitchen, but stood back up right away as her dog bounded in the door. He was enormous, with long, shaggy brown fur and warm eyes of the same color.

"Snuffles!" Lily squealed, hugging the dog tightly. She buried her face in his fur. "Aw, Snuffles, I've missed you!"

The dog barked happily and licked Lily's face, clearly indicating that he had missed her as well.

Lily's mom laughed as she entered the kitchen and started pulling out cookbooks. "That dog just isn't the same when you aren't here."

Lily smiled and sat back down in her chair, Snuffles's head resting on her lap.

"I'm going to make a nice big dinner to celebrate having everyone back together tonight!" Mrs. Evans said excitedly. "It won't be ready for a while though, so there's fruit if you're hungry."

Lily grabbed an apple and headed up to her little bedroom, the shaggy brown dog at her heels. She opened the door and smiled. It was exactly as she had left it.

The walls and bedspread were bright yellow and pictures, both Muggle and magical, covered most of the wall space. Lily glanced around at them.

_A ten-year-old Lily teaching Sev to blow bubbles. Lily and Petunia swimming in the lake. Lily, Alice, Vanessa, Mary, and Waverly in their dormitory on the first day of each school year. Lily at the beach with Alice's family last summer. Lily and Sev eating ice cream on the way to King's Cross for their fifth year – the last picture she had of the two of them. Lily, Alice, and Vanessa playing in the snow when they spent New Year's at Vanessa's house two years ago. Lily and Sev playing on the old swing set down on Spinner's End back when they were eight._

Lily sighed sadly and absentmindedly scratched Snuffles behind the ear. The pictures with Sev would need to come down eventually.

She tore her eyes off the wall and turned to the rest of her room. There was a wooden bookcase, sagging under the weight of her many books, sitting in one corner. There was a small desk against one wall with a dresser sitting beside it. Lily walked over to the old radio that sat on top of the dresser and turned it on. If there was one thing Lily missed when she was at Hogwarts, it was Muggle music, which she preferred over that of the magical world.

Humming along, Lily began to unpack. She placed her old camera on the bedside table and set her school bag on the floor beside it. She hung her schools robes in the closet and stacked her textbooks beside the bookcase. She did not bother hiding anything Hogwarts-related for she really did not have and Muggle friends. Sev had always gotten her through the summers.

Lily mentally scolded herself for thinking about Severus and changed into a t-shirt and soccer shorts – her favorite outfit. She pulled on an old pair of sneakers and headed back downstairs, taking a bite from her apple. Snuffles was right behind her.

"I'm going for a walk, Mum."

"Okay, dear, but don't be gone too long."

"I won't," Lily said, and she and her dog slipped out the squeaky screen door in the back of the kitchen.

They walked around the neighborhood, avoiding Spinner's End, and made their way to the lake.

When they got there, the sun was setting and a cool breeze was rising off the water. Lily led Snuffles out onto the old dock and pulled her shoes off so she could dangle her feet in the water. Her dog sat down beside her and she resumed scratching behind his ear.

The past year at Hogwarts had been a trying one for the red-headed witch. Not only had her classes become more complicated, but so had her feelings. Tension had been high with Sev because of his Slytherin friends, but in the past they'd always managed to pull through. The last time, though, had been too much for Lily. Lots of people had called her a Mudblood before, the word itself had stopped bothering her over time, but coming from Sev – _her Sev_ – it had really hurt. More, even, than Petunia's rejection.

Then there was James Potter. She had always ignored his flirtations, passing them off as James trying to get the only girl who had ever said no to him finally say yes. But then they had had detention together, and they had had.... fun. And he had actually been almost sweet. Almost. There was also the fact that he gave up his favorite hobby just so she would be his friend. She did not know what to think about her thing with James Potter.

_Oh come on, Lily_, she thought, _you don't have a thing with Potter._

But he was always so nice to her and he always tried to take care of her.

"Get a grip, Lily!" she said aloud. Then she groaned and put her head in her hands. Snuffles nudged her and tilted his head as if to ask, "what's wrong?"

Lily just smiled at him, which turned into a grimace as she tried not to think about the fact that Potter was also very good-looking.

She had heard Mary and Waverly talking with some Ravenclaw girls and, according to them, James and Sirius were the cutest guys in the school. Followed by Spender Lang, Frank Longbottom, Remus, and a Hufflepuff sixth year named Seth Malone. Sirius and James were numbers one and two, though, and James deserved it. His jet black hair was always all over the place. His hazel eyes were flecked with gold and always contained a mysterious gleam. He was tall, over six feet, and he had solid muscles.

"Shut up!" Lily told herself, startling Snuffles. "You _know _you hate the way he always messes up his hair! And his eyes always gleam like that because he's always planning something terrible!" She groaned again. "And _now_ you're talking to yourself. Potter is, quite literally, driving you insane."

Snuffles looked at her; the dog almost seemed worried. She sighed. "It's okay, buddy. Just human problems, nothing you have to worry about."

It was getting dark, so Lily pulled her shoes back on and followed her dog home, forcing James Potter out of her mind.

- - - - - - -

James woke up bright and early on the first day of summer holiday. He pulled on a pair of Muggle basketball shorts (though he had no idea what basketball was), a t-shirt, and top-of-the-line jogging sneakers. He rumpled his hair and went out for his morning run.

The sun was just beginning to rise on the huge Potter Manor, which sat atop a hill surrounded by acres and acres of land. There was a large forest on one end and a field and large stable filled with horses and unicorns on another. There was a full-size Quidditch Pitch in the middle of the forest and a stone building that contained fourteen Nimbus 1000s and a set of the finest Quidditch balls and equipment, for the Potters often hosted matches for the National Quidditch League and frequently had their friends over for a game. There was a pond, complete with a waterfall, and a large pool. There was also an enormous garden with walkways and fountains. It contained every kind of flower imaginable, as well as apple, orange and peach trees and a vineyard.

The house itself was stone and had been around since the time of Godric Gryffindor himself. The second and third floors both contained huge rap-around balconies. The Potters also had a dozen house-elves to work inside and out. Needless to say, the family was exceedingly wealthy. But none of these things even crossed his mind as he ran; instead, he thought back on his fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

James thought that, over the past year, he had _finally_ made some small bit of progress with Lily Evans. He had been able to hold a conversation without ending up in the hospital wing. He had made her laugh, really laugh, something he had been trying to accomplish since first year. He had danced with her – _twice_. He had done something for her for Valentine's Day that she had actually seemed to almost enjoy. He had a wonderful time with her in detention, and he could tell that she had had fun too. He and the Marauders had studied with Lily and her friends for O.W.L.s and had spent fantastic afternoons talking and laughing by the lake. He had been the only one to convince Lily to eat and sleep when she had been seriously stressed out over studying. She had believed him when he said that he had been put under the Imperius Curse – something he was still surprised about to this day. And, on top of everything, she was considering being friends with him. It had easily been his best year at Hogwarts.

James pushed himself to run harder and faster.

Every year, Lily grew more beautiful. Her brilliant red hair was long and a cross between wavy and curly. It framed her delicate, heart-shaped face perfectly. Her emerald eyes were surrounded by thick, long, dark lashes that made them really stand out. Her eyebrows were thin and arched and always conveyed whatever emotion she was feeling. Her skin was creamy white and there was a splash of freckles across her nose. Her lips were full and pink and her teeth white and straight. She was the perfect height, her head just reaching the middle of his chest. She was a bit thin, but not in a bad way. Her chest was somewhat flat, as was her butt, but James thought that gave her a look of innocence; he though it was adorable.

James had dated other girls over the years – quite a few of them – but they could never quite measure up to Lily, not in his eyes. They were never as smart or as witty, or as kind and funny and charming. Lily had the whole package, she was truly one in a million. What he wouldn't give to have Lily as his girlfriend he didn't know; but first, he had to work on friendship, and she had asked him to wait even on _that_. But he was willing to wait. Lily was worth every second.

James returned to the Manor, his skin glistening with sweat. He gratefully took the towel offered to him by Tink-Tink, one of the Potters' house-elves, and wiped his face before sprinting up the grand marble staircase that curved elegantly up to the second floor. He turned to the right and headed down the family wing to his large bedroom.

There was a queen-sized bed on the left that sat on an authentic Persian rug. The rest of the floor was polished hardwood. There was an enormous window on the back wall that overlooked the horse and unicorn field. There was a fireplace with two armchairs sitting in front of it across from the window. There was a walk-in closet and a huge bookcase full of books he never read. There was a stand for his broomstick (also a Nimbus 1000). There was a large wooden desk, a standing cage for his barn owl, Apollo, and everything was in Gryffindor colors: red and gold.

He grabbed a fresh set of clothes and made his way into the connected bathroom, complete with the wizarding world equivalent of a hot tub. He took a quick shower, looking forward to a day of relaxation.

- - - - - - -

Lily woke to the smell of coffee wafting through the little house. She rolled out of bed, ran a brush through her hair, and headed downstairs. Her parents and sister were already seated around the wooden table, eating toast.

"Good morning," Lily said, taking the empty chair.

"Morning, dear, coffee?"

"Yes, please."

"Anyway, as I was saying," Petunia shot an annoyed look at Lily. "As you know, I'll be turning eighteen at the end of June and I haven't had a birthday party in five years."

"Petunia, honey," Mrs. Evans said sadly. "You know we hardly have enough to pay the bill every month, much less throw a party."

"But all my friends have parties all the time," she wined.

"Your friends are better off than we are, sweetie."

"Tuney and I could work," Lily suggested. "The Langstons across the lake will pay us to do yard work." Across the lake was a much wealthier neighborhood.

"Yeah," Petunia agreed.

"Are you sure you want to do that, Lily? It isn't your party." Mr. Evans asked his youngest daughter.

"Sure, I don't need a party. Besides, it can be my present to Tuney."

"Alright, I'll call Beth this afternoon and see if she can take you two on," Mrs. Evans said.

"Thanks, Mum!"

"Don't thank me, dear, thank Lily."

Petunia mumbled something that sounded like a thank you and headed back up to her room.

"Well, I'd best be off," Mr. Evans said, standing up and kissing his wife. "Lots to do today."

"Me too," Lily's mother said, for she worked as well. "Lily, dear, will you and your sister clean up around the house a bit? And the garden desperately needs weeding."

"Sure, Mum."

When her parents were gone, Lily went up to her bedroom and put on her usual shorts and a t-shirt.

"Tuney! We're supposed to clean and tend the garden! Which do you want?" Lily called.

"I'll clean!" Petunia called back, so Lily headed out to the overgrown garden for a full day of weeding.

_______________________________________

**Was it terrible? Ugh, I don't know. Haha, please let me know what you thought!**

**Love you all to bits!**

**Oh and this time, the quote below really has nothing to do with anything, but a friend of mine said it and I thought it was hilarious ;). Thanks Caleb.**

**Again, PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

"_Pants on, pants off, NO FEAR!"_


	15. Drip Drop

**Phew, new chapter! Er, I don't know about this one, I had to completely re-write the middle. It just... wasn't right.**

**Anyway, thanks again to Wendy, who is brutally honest, but always incredibly kind. She's the best beta ever, honestly. I hope you fell better soon!**

**And big thank yous to my lovely reviewers: _BettyCrocker, mimimi213, Hannahble, HGHPlove4ever15, RaindropsOnTheRooftop, Awesomely Anonymous, pinkpearl89, xXxAliceXCullenxXx, _and_ ZukoLuvahh_!! This chapter is for you guys!**

_Not many sounds in life exceed in interest a knock at the door._

**Chapter Fifteen: Drip Drop**

Lily and Petunia worked all day, every day, for the Langstons and their neighbors across the lake. The girls pulled weeds, planted flowers, cut grass, trimmed hedges, painted gates and benches, and did just about every possible kind of yard work imaginable. They came home every night exhausted, sun tanned, and dirty, but Lily thought all of that was well worth it. She was far too busy to worry about Severus and she hoped that, by doing this, Petunia would not be so angry with her.

Lily woke early one morning to thunder and lightening. She rolled out of bed and took the coffee mug off her desk and set it on her dresser to catch the water dripping in from a hole in the ceiling.

The phone rang through the little house and Lily sprinted to answer it before it woke anyone up, though the thunder outside seemed to be well on its way to doing just that.

"Evans Residence. Lily speaking."

"Oh, hello, Lily, I hope it isn't too early," Mrs. Langston's voice said. "I was just calling to tell you and your sister not to come today due to the storm."

_Did she honestly think we were planning on it?_ Lily thought, but said, "Okay, thank you for letting us know."

"Of course, Lily. We'll see you tomorrow if this clears up."

"Yes, ma'am. Goodbye, Mrs. Langston." Lily hung up the phone and was about to go back to bed when she heard a knock at the door.

She hurried downstairs, wondering who on earth would be visiting at this ungodly hour of the morning. When she pulled the front door open, her jaw dropped. Standing on the little front porch was none other than James Potter. But he was not alone. He was supporting a semi-conscious Sirius Black, who sported massive bruises and cuts all over his body.

"What happened?" Lily exclaimed, rushing to put an arm around Sirius's waist to help James hold him up.

"I'll explain... in a... minute," James panted. "Is there... somewhere... I can... put him?"

"Oh, of course! Sorry!" Lily exclaimed as they entered the house. "Do you think you can get him up the stairs?"

"Yeah," James grunted.

Lily helped James drag his best friend up to her bedroom, since there was no guest room. They laid him down on the bed and James sunk to the floor, exhausted.

"Sorry to just barge in like this," he told Lily. "But Sirius showed up at my house like this and I sort of panicked. I didn't want my parents to see him in this state."

"But what happened to him? How did you get here? _How did you know where I live?"_

"Whoa, whoa whoa, one question at a time. First of all, Sirius's mother hates him."

Lily's eyebrows scrunched together in confusion as she said, "So? What's his mother have to do with..." Her eyes widened suddenly and she gasped. "No! You don't think...she had something to do with...no! Her own son? Surely, not!"

"Actually it _was_ her," James said sadly. "She hates him because his whole family has been in Slytherin for as far back as they can remember. They're really into the whole pureblood mania, but Sirius has always thought it was rubbish. Then he was sorted into Gryffindor. Things kept getting worse for him after that. Do you remember third year, when he came to school with that awful black eye?"

Lily nodded, her green eyes filled with sympathy as she began to understand.

"That was when she first started actually beating him. He wouldn't tell us what was going on at first, but his mum sent him a Howler going on about what a bad son he was and how she was so ashamed of him and Remus and I figured it out."

"That's, that's just-"

"Bloody terrible?"

"Yeah," Lily agreed softly. "But why did you bring him here of all places? Why not take him to St. Mungos?"

"Because that will be the first place his mum goes. I can't let her find him," James told her, determination filling his hazel eyes.

"But what do you want me to do?"

James looked at her desperately. "I don't know, Lily," he said, his voice barely a whisper. "I didn't know where to go. His mum is bound to check my place. She'll go to Remus's and Peter's, too. She won't think to come here, I doubt she even knows you exist. He mostly needs a place to hide for a few days."

"Look at him though! He needs medical help!" Lily argued.

James buried his face in his hands. "I_ know_," he moaned.

Lily sighed, she could not just turn them out. "I've taken Healing at school -"

"But you can't do magic in the summer."

"True, however, Professor _Burbage_ was the teacher."

"So?"

"_So_," Lily pressed on impatiently, "she taught Muggle Studies as well!"

James still looked thoroughly confused. Lily sighed.

"She _adored_ Muggles! She gave the Healing class a whole unit on Muggle first aid and healing techniques!" 

James's face slowly broke into a grin. "So you can help?"

"Well, I won't be able to do a lot, but I can fix the minor injuries. If any of his bones are broken though..."

Her worried look suddenly broke into a grin.

"What?" James asked.

"My grandmother was a nurse for _years_! Why didn't I think of that? I'll call her, she only lives an hour away! She can set broken bones and everything!"

"Lily, you don't have to -" James started, but Lily had already rushed into the hall and was dialing numbers furiously.

"Yes it's Lily," she said into the phone. "I know we haven't talked in a while, but Granny, I really need your help."

They talked for a few moments before Lily hung up and smiled at James. "She's on her way! And she's told me what we can do while we wait."

"Lily!" Mrs. Evans called, coming out of her own bedroom. She looked startled to see the two of them in the hallway. "Oh, hello there. James, right?"

"Yes, Mrs. Evans," James said, taking her hand and kissing it. "I'm sorry to come without being invited, but I needed Lily's help."

They quickly explained the situation to Lily's mother, who looked very concerned by the time they finished.

"Perhaps I should stay home today, I could help...." she told them.

"There's no need, Mum, really. Granny's on her way, and she's given us instructions. We'll be fine, and so will Sirius."

"Are you sure, dear?"

"_Yes_, Mum. Go, you'll be late to work."

"Alright...." Mrs. Evans said, clearly still worried.

"We're fine," Lily and James reassured her.

Once Mrs. Evans disappeared out the front door, James turned to Lily.

"Okay. Can I help at all?"

"Yeah, get Sirius in the shower. Try to get the dried blood off; he needs to be as clean as possible before I start. The bathroom's down the hall. I'll get him some different clothes."

"Right." James nodded as they entered the bedroom. Together, they heaved Sirius off the bed and into the hall.

Lily heard the shower turn on and hurried to her parents' bedroom. She grabbed a pair of her father's sweat pants and a t-shirt and headed back to the bathroom to wait.

"Lily!" James yelled a moment later.

"Relax, I'm right here! Just leave him in his underwear for now so we can see the extent of his injuries," she said, praying that Sirius was a boxers kind of guy.

"Alright," James said and dragged Sirius back to the bedroom.

Lily gasped. Most of Sirius's back was covered in a deep purple bruise and a long cut ran from his shoulder to his hip. There were burns on his arms and chest and it looked as if his wrist, his leg, and many of his ribs were broken.

"I know, love. It's awful," James murmured. "You and your grandmother will be able to heal him, though, won't you?"

Lily looked into his eyes and the arrogant, confident mask slipped ever so slightly and she could see the scared little boy hiding behind it.

"We'll do everything we can."

- - - - - - -

There was nothing more he could do to help, so after Lily knocked Sirius out James sat in the chair by Lily's desk and watched her work. He knew Lily could help; he was not worried about that. She was one of the most talented people he had ever met.

Lily looked so focused as she worked, but also afraid that she was going to do something wrong, even though she was merely bandaging the cuts and applying ointment to the bruises. Her lack of confidence was what made Transfiguration so difficult for her, James thought. To transfigure something, you had to be able to envision the outcome before a spell would work, and Lily could never see herself doing the right thing.

James could not keep a small smile off his lips as he watched. Whenever Lily would finish something, her whole face would light up. Her emerald green eyes sparkled and a smile played on the corners of her mouth. Even though she had clearly just woken up, she was beautiful to him.

Lily treated the cuts and bruises quickly and moved on to the burns, which took a much more complicated process and consumed the better part of three hours. By the time she finished, James's stomach was growling loudly.

"Come on," Lily said, finally looking up from her work. "Let's get something to eat."

"But Sirius -"

"Can't feel a thing," she interrupted. "Let's go, I know you're hungry."

"Okay, okay," James said, allowing Lily to lead the way.

Her house was small, a shed compared to his own, but James loved it. He loved the cozy 'at-home' feeling and the fact that there were other houses all around. Little houses seemed more like home than large empty mansions.

James would never have thought of Lily as poor. Not that it mattered to him; she could live on the street and wear rags and his feelings would not change at all. Besides, what with all the stuck-up, rich friends his parents had, James figured that the poor were often better people than the rich anyway.

They reached the little kitchen and made themselves sandwiches. They sat at the wooden table in silence for a while, just listening to the raindrops hit the windows.

"You never answered my question," Lily said suddenly.

"Which one?"

"Two of them actually. How did you know where I lived? And how did you get here?"

James thought for a moment, unsure what to say.

"Well, you know the neighborhood across the lake?"

"Yes..."

"Well, er, I live there," he finished lamely, not wanting to mention the fact that he actually lived in the manor that _overlooked_ the wealthy neighborhood.

"Okay," Lily raised an eyebrow. "But how does that help?"

"I, er, saw you working one day, out in the yard."

"Let me guess. You followed me home?" Lily asked, crossing her arms.

"Sorry," James said sheepishly.

"So wait, did you _walk_ here?"

"Yeah, it was no stroll in the park either. Sirius is _heavy_."

Lily laughed a little. "Wow, you really care about your friends."

"I do," James said seriously. "And I wanted to thank you, really. I know Sirius and I aren't exactly your favorite people. You didn't have to help."

"Surely you don't think I'd be so cruel as to turn you out. Besides, it's not a problem, I'm just glad there was something I could do."

James smiled at her, one of those real smiles that he reserved just for Lily. "You're a wonderful person, you know that? I honestly can't figure out why you don't have every guy at Hogwarts falling at your feet."

Lily's cheeks flushed slightly. "Probably because they're all afraid you'll hex them if they get anywhere near me." She smiled and added, "besides, there are too many girls who are a hundred times better than me."

James stared at her disbelievingly. "I think you have a distorted self-image, love."

Lily laughed. "No, _you_ have a distorted image of _me_."

"I do not. You're gorgeous and brilliant and clever and witty and talented and humble and brave and caring and -"

"You see? No girl could ever live up to all that!"

"That's why no girl measures up to you." His eyes bore into hers, filled with utmost sincerity.

Lily looked away, but the blush stayed on her cheeks. "Er, thanks," she said guardedly. "We'd best get back to Sirius."

James nodded and Lily took their dishes to the sink. The latter led the way upstairs, not noticing that her companion was deep in thought.

_Probably because they're all afraid you'll hex them if they get anywhere near me._

Her casual words pounded through his head. Were other guys really afraid of him? He did not want to keep Lily from dating, even if no guy was good enough for her. She deserved to date whoever she wanted. Then again, she also deserved someone who was willing to fight for her, not some idiotic coward. She was worth getting hexed for any day.

They reached Lily's bedroom and his took his seat as Lily set to work once more.

"They're idiots," James muttered after watching Lily for a moment.

"Who?" she asked, not taking her eyes off of Sirius.

"Any guy who wouldn't fight me for you. I mean, I'm not that much of a threat, really. Guys should realize that you're worth it," he said, more to himself than to Lily. She chose not to reply, but could not help a small smile.

- - - - - - -

Hours later, Lily's grandmother, Agatha, opened the door to Lily's room. Lily and James had been sitting in the hallway in silence, waiting nervously for the old woman to finish her work.

"He'll have to stay here for a few more days, he shouldn't move much for a while, the bones with have to sit in the cast for about a day before he can move around at all. Then he needs to leave the casts on for at least six weeks.

Lily and James exchanged a glance. They had decided to take him to St. Mungos in a few days – once they were sure Mrs. Black knew her son was not at the hospital – and let them heal the bones by magic, but there was no need for Lily's grandmother to know that.

"Thank you so much Ms. Agatha," James told her as he stood up.

"Please, dear, call me Granny."

James smiled. "Thank you, Granny. It means so much to me. You didn't have to come all this way."

"Any friend of Lily's is worth the time," Agatha said, patting his cheek. "I'd best be off, Lily, dear. I'll see you at Christmas, I suppose. Feel free to bring this charming young gentlemen over any time."

Lily blushed a little. "Thanks, Gran. I'll see you soon."

They walked her out to her car, umbrella in hand. Lily and James waved goodbye and watched until she was out of sight.

"Lily, I don't even know what to say -" James began, but Lily cut him off.

"Please, don't. Really, I'm happy to help." She smiled up at him.

"You're wonderful," James told her softly.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Come on, Sirius will wake up soon." And she led the way inside.

They reached the bedroom just in time to find Sirius groaning and trying to sit up. James and Lily rushed to his side and held him down.

"Make... it... stop," he growled sleepily.

"Make what stop?" Lily asked quietly.

"The _dripping_."

Lily laughed. "I can't, Sirius, sorry. There's a hole in the roof," she explained, looking to make sure the mug on her dresser had not overflowed.

Sirius slowly opened his eyes and stared at Lily in confusion.

"_Bloody hell, where am I?"_

"Lily's house, Pad," James said, joining Lily at his friend's side. "Your mum won't find you here, and Lily and her grandmother fixed you up."

"Don't move much though," Lily added, "or you'll refracture your ribs."

Sirius groaned miserably. "What am I going to do?"

"Come live with me, of course," James told him firmly. "As soon as your mum knows you aren't there, though she's probably already checked. But you have to stay here for a few days so your bones can set. Then I'm taking you to St. Mungos, they'll get the job done much faster."

"Thanks, Prongs," Sirius said, grinning at his best friend. "And thank you, Lily-flower, my own personal miracle."

Lily laughed. "Any time, Sirius."

_________________________________________

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**I hope this one was more interesting than the last one!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_The whole world will tell you who you are, until you tell the world._


	16. Back To Normal?

**REVISED EDITION! (Thanks, Wendy!!)**

**Super huge thanks to all the reviewers! I had more this time than ever! So thanks to _RaindropsOnTheRooftop, sydneybristow89, Hannahble, Queenie's Broken Heart, BettyCrocker, Kuri333, ZukoLuvahh, mimimi213, HGHPlove4ever15, gottalovetwilight, xXxAliceXCullenxXx, RachelElizabeth, pinkpearl89_, and a few anonymous reviewers! You guys are the best ever! This chapter is for all of you!**

**Disclaimer: I'm not JKR. The end.**

_No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world._

**Chapter Sixteen: Back to Normal?**

The rain continued to fall over the Evans house for days on end. Petunia's mood worsened with each crack of thunder, for she was worried her party might be rained out. Her sulking did nothing for the gloomy atmosphere in the home, only James and Sirius's spirits remained high.

"I have some good news!" Lily sang, as she brought Sirius his breakfast.

"What?" the boys asked excitedly. There had been little for them to do the last few days. Sirius was bedridden and James did not have the heart to leave his friend. The mostly sat together, planning future pranks when Lily was not in the room or playing chess, the Muggle kind (they actually had to _move_ the pieces!).

"I just talked to Granny and she said you should be able to get out of bed today," she told Sirius brightly. "Which means -"

"We can go to St. Mungos today!" James and Sirius finished together, abandoning the Muggle magazine they had been reading together. Knitting patterns were dreadfully dull.

Lily laughed lightly. "Yeah, my dad says he can take us to London in a few hours."

"Lily-flower, you just made my day," Sirius said, grinning broadly and helping himself to his toast.

"I try," Lily joked.

- - - - - - -

A few hours later, Lily, James, and Sirius sat in the Evans' worn out old car as Mr. Evans drove them into London. Sirius was quite fascinated, having never ridden in a Muggle car before. James remained un-phased, as his parents often traveled this way.

"Where is this hospital, exactly?" Mr. Evans asked, sure that he had never seen a 'St. Mungos' before.

"Er," Lily looked at James, hoping he would have a more sufficient answer.

James laughed lightly and pointed the way. Eventually, they pulled to a stop in front of a large, brick department store that was "Closed For Refurbishment". It was quite rundown and the dummies in the window modeled obsolete fashions.

"Is it like Platform Nine and Three-Quarters?" Lily asked curiously, looking at the abandoned shop.

"That the basic idea, but you have to make it known why you're here." James said, helping Sirius out of the car.

"Well, kids, I have some errands to run. I'll be back to pick you up in a couple of hours," Mr. Evans told the three of them.

They waved goodbye and turned to face the building.

"Come on, we have to go through the window," James explained. He stepped up to a shabby dummy and stated, "We're hear to see a Healer about a few broken bones. The dummy simply stood there, stock-still for a moment, before giving a small inclination of the head and beckoning them forward. James and Lily heaved Sirius up first. He passed through the glass as though it were air and the others followed right behind him.

They found themselves standing in what appeared to be a large reception area. People with all sorts of strange injuries and sicknesses were milling about, seemingly waiting to be called. Lily, James and Sirius approached the desk.

"What can I do for you?" asked a bored-looking witch, popping her gum.

"We just need someone to heal our friend's broken bones," Lily told her.

"Take a number and have a seat, you'll have to go up a floor when you're called," the witch said lazily. She waved her wand and a slip of paper with "27" written neatly across it appeared.

Lily took it and thanked the witch before they went and found three rickety wooden chairs sitting together.

They sat in silence for a moment, observing a wizard with a turnip for a nose and a little girl who's skin was rapidly changing colors. The quiet was broken, however, but Sirius's stomach.

"Er, you don't suppose they sell any kind of food here, d'you?" he asked, glancing around.

"Well, the sign says there's a tea room up on the fifth floor," Lily said, craning her neck to see the sign left of the welcome desk.

"The fifth floor? Bloody hell, what are they playing at? I can't walk up that many stairs in this state!"

"Good grief, Sirius," James laughed. "If it's that important, I can go get you something."

Sirius looked at James as though he were an angel sent to earth. "Would you?" he asked, trying and failing to make puppy dog eyes.

"Yeah, I'll go, just stop doing that. You look like a lovestruck fish," James told him.

Sirius scowled. "You're just jealous of my good looks."

"You two are ridiculous," Lily laughed. "But really, Sirius, never try to make that face again."

"Fine," Sirius growled, crossing his arms.

James chuckled. "I'll be back in a minute. You coming, Lily?"

"Anything would be better than sitting with Grumpy, here," Lily joked and followed James to the staircase.

- - - - - - -

_Too strange_, Lily thought as she and James made their way up to the fifth floor. _Am I actually helping James Potter and Sirius Black? I mean, it's not like I'm helping them pull some prank, but all their future pranks will be my responsibility because I helped save Sirius._

"Lily? Oi, LILY!" James's voice echoed through the stairwell.

"What?" she asked, snapping out of her thoughts.

"Good grief, Lily, I've been talking to you for five minutes. Did you hear anything I said?"

Lily grinned sheepishly. "Er, not exactly. I was, uh, thinking."

"About what?" James asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Nothing," Lily said quickly, and then mentally kicked herself. Normally, she could come up with a snappy retort to anything James said, what had gotten into her?

"Right," James rolled his eyes sarcastically. "You sure were concentrating pretty hard on 'nothing'."

"Well, did you ever consider that I might possibly not want to tell you everything?"

James frowned, pretending to think about it. "Actually, I didn't. But the only reason you wouldn't want to tell me what you were thinking was because it was about me," he said confidently.

Lily rolled her eyes. "You are completely delusional, you know that?"

"I like being delusional as long as my delusions revolve around you," he grinned.

Lily scoffed and sped up.

"What?" James asked, taking the steps three at a time until he was in front of her, blocking her way.

"I've told you not to use lines like that," she explained, putting her hands on her hips.

"Fine then," James said. "Lily Evans, I am not delusional, and if I was, I certainly hope that you never, ever, cross my mind. How was that?"

Lily smiled. "Much better."

James shook his head. "Lily, you are so odd."

"Then why do you insist on spending time with me?"

"I like odd," James told her off-handedly. "It's much better than the dim-witted, overbearing, knut-a-dozen skanks that usually follow me around."

"That's a bit harsh. They may be incredibly dim-witted for choosing to chase you, but the rest isn't always true," Lily said matter-of-factly.

"Cute, Lily. Very cute," James rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. "Hey, this is the fifth floor."

- - - - - - -

They opened a door at the top of the staircase to find themselves in a large circular room filled with little spindly tables and chairs. On the back wall sat a counter like one found in a Muggle deli. Lily and James approached it, weaving their way through the numerous witches and wizards that sat enjoying their afternoon tea.

"What can I get for you?" asked another bored witch.

"See anything Sirius would like?" Lily whispered James, examining the menu.

"Somehow I don't see him as the cucumber sandwich type," James whispered back. He turned to the witch behind the counter. "Do you have anything other than -"

"No, that's all we've got," the witch snapped. "Take it or leave it."

"Are you sure that's all?" James asked, thinking quickly. He wrapped an arm around Lily's waist and continued. "You see, my girlfriend here is pregnant, and she is craving chocolate like mad." He felt Lily tense a little beside him, but kept talking. "You really do _not_ want to see her if she doesn't get what she wants."

Lily, as if to prove the point, glared furiously at the witch behind the counter. When she muttered there was chocolate in the back, and she would go get it, Lily turned the glare on James.

"Yes, love?" James asked, grinning sheepishly.

"_Pregnant?_" she hissed. "Do I look like I could be pregnant to you?"

"No! Of course not!" James told her as she tried to pull out of his grip. "I just thought that would be the easiest way to get something Sirius would actually eat. You don't want to be around him on an empty stomach."

Lily rolled her eyes. "It worked, I guess. But _pregnant_?"

"So you object when I say you're pregnant, but not when I say you're my girlfriend?" James laughed.

Lily stared at him for a moment before saying, "Hmm, I've learned to ignore any reference to such a thing over the years."

"Not true," James told her, grinning. "I do believe you still get quite worked up when I ask you out."

Lily opened her mouth to reply, but clamped it shut again when the witch returned. They paid her and quickly headed back to the staircase.

"You know," Lily said, once the door shut behind them, "I don't think I have ever met anyone as infuriating as you, James Potter."

"Glad to know you care so much," James smiled down at her.

They bickered all the way down the stairs and when they got to Sirius, he let out a bark-like laugh.

"Good to see things are back to normal," he joked. James handed him the bag from the Tea Room. "Chocolate!"

"Sirius, sometimes I wonder if you're really a girl," James said in mock-thoughtfulness.

Sirius scowled at him but said nothing, as he was too busy shoving the chocolate down his throat.

"Number Twenty-Seven!" a voice rang through the reception area. "Number Twenty-Seven to the first floor, please!"

"That's me," Sirius said, heaving himself up. "See you soon."

"Good luck!" Lily and James called after him.

They sat in silence for a moment, each absorbed in their own thoughts.

_Back to normal_, Sirius had said. _Is fighting really normal for Lily and me? _James thought morosely. He knew they argued, and he knew Lily used to loathe him with a fiery passion, but he did not want them to fight anymore. He just wanted to be her friend.

He turned to Lily, trying to find words to express his thoughts, but stopped abruptly when he saw her wide, fearful eyes.

"What is it, Lily?" he asked, worried.

"Look," she almost whispered, holding out the latest _Daily Prophet_.

James took it and scanned the front page, feeling his own eyes widen in horror. The headline read "37 KILLED IN DEATH EATER ATTACK, DARK LORD ON THE RISE".

_Last night on the twenty-second of June, Death Eaters – those who support He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named – attacked Diagon Alley. "Main Street was almost completely destroyed, though teams from the Ministry of Magic are hard at work putting it back together. The attack injured 32 witches and wizards and killed 37 (listed below). Not even children were spared," Minister of Magic, Jethro Bones, said "I am afraid war may be on the horizon, though we are doing all we can to prevent it." Auror training is now more vigorous and challenging than ever before, but massive numbers of witches and wizards between ages 17 and 35 have risen to the occasion. Security measures are being put into place in all major gathering sites including Diagon Alley, Hogsmeade, St. Mungos Hospital, Hogwarts and all other schools of magic. Defense classes for the average witch and wizard are underway and further precautions will be taken as necessary._

"Read the names," Lily said quietly when James finished the article. "Is anyone we know...." she trailed off, unable to finish the terrible thought.

James scanned the list, and sighed in relief when there was no one he recognized. He shook his head and Lily nodded weakly.

"Do you think there really will be a war?" she asked.

"Honestly, Lily, I don't know. These Death Eaters killed 37 people, so I don't think they'd have a problem killing others."

They were silent for a moment. Lily took a deep breath and said, "You know why they attacked last night?"

"Why?"

"Because there was a man who was going to speak, Andrew Casey. He was going to make a speech about Muggle-born rights. He seems to think that purebloods don't treat us fairly. Which is mostly rubbish, of course. But the Death Eaters hate Muggle-borns. There was a small convention built around Andrew Casey. It was supposed to be really interesting. I was actually thinking about going, you know, just to hear his views. But I think the Death Eaters attacked because there was a concentrated number of Muggle-borns."

"Oh Lily," James murmured. He took her small hand in his much larger one and gave it a gentle squeeze. He did not want to even think about what might have happened if Lily had gone to that convention. If she had died, well, he did not think he could have handled that.

"I suppose you should be thanking me, then," he said with a small smile, trying to ease her mind.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, if I hadn't brought Sirius to you, you might have gone to hear Casey speak. So, I sort of saved your life."

Lily rolled her eyes, but the corners of her mouth twitched into a smile.

___________________________________

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Also, I would like to take a second to address the reviewers who beg me not to give up on this story. NEVER FEAR! Haha, I have every intention of finishing. Reviews may come a bit slower when school starts back (August 5, for me), but they will keep coming! I promise!**

**OH and tomorrow is my fanfiction birthday! I will have officially been on this site for two years! You can wish me happy birthday by sending me lots of juicy reviews! :)**

**July 21, 2009: First off, Happy 2 Year DH Anniversary! Haha. Anyway, the next chapter has already been sent to be beta-ed. I'll have it up ASAP!**

**LOVE YOU ALL TO BITS!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_The future depends on what we do in the present._


	17. In A Flash

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OF RAINDROPS, FLOWERS, AND WISHING WELLS! Yay! This story is officially two years old today!**

**And as a treat, this is one of my very favorite chapters so far, I hope you enjoy!**

**This has not yet been beta-ed, sorry for any errors! XD**

**And thanks to _BettyCrocker, Hannahble, RaindropsOnTheRooftop, JessicaCheng, lilyflower102, HGHPlove4ever15, NutMegg, pinkpearl89, _and_ queenphebee_ for the lovely reviews!**

**And this chapter is dedicated (not only to myself for the fic's birthday) but also to_ Kuri333_ for reminding me to take my own advice, thanks Cristina!**

_The worst battle is between what you know and how you feel._

**Chapter Seventeen: In A Flash**

They returned that evening to the Evans' home, spirits slightly dampened by the news of the attack on Diagon Alley.

Lily, James, and Sirius trudged up to Lily's bedroom so James could write to his father. He told Lily he had left a note when Sirius had shown up, but it had not explained much, only that he was going to stay with a friend. In the new letter, he explained the situation, leaving out the extent of Sirius's injuries, and asked if Mrs. Black had been to the Potters' yet. Just as he signed his name, there was a sharp tap on the window.

"It's an owl," Lily told the boys, letting it inside.

"Apollo!" James exclaimed happily at the sight of his barn owl. "You knew I had a letter didn't you? You're so smart!"

Apollo hooted in a dignified sort of way before sticking its leg out for James to attach the letter.

"Do you really think he should be flying in this storm?" Lily asked as a streak of lightening illuminated the dark gray sky. "Maybe he should wait here until tomorrow. It could clear up by then."

"What d'you think, Apollo?" James asked.

The owl shook the rain out of its feathers, hopped up onto Lily's desk and settled down to sleep.

"I guess we wait, then," James said, laughing softly at the bird's behavior.

"So, Lily-flower," Sirius began. He was sitting on her bed and looking around the room. "Why don't you have any pictures in here of the best looking guy in all of Hogwarts?"

"Because I've never had a camera when Remus was around," Lily explained, trying to hide a smile.

"You wound me!" James said, dramatically clutching his heart.

"Good," Lily grinned. Sirius let out his bark-like laugh. James feigned a hurt expression before chuckling as well. Lily hesitated a moment, but joined in nonetheless.

-FLASH-

"Ow!" Lily and James yelped together, rubbing their eyes.

Sirius had grabbed the old camera off of Lily's bedside table and snapped a picture before they knew what was happening.

"Come on, James. Take a picture of me and Lily-flower!" Sirius said, handing James the camera and pulling Lily down onto the bed beside him.

"Hey!" she exclaimed.

-FLASH-

"Well that will certainly be an interesting picture," James laughed as Lily struggled to sit up.

She felt strong arms wrap around her, pinning her own arms to her sides.

"No way am I taking a picture of that, Sirius," James chuckled at his best friend's antics.

"Aw, come on, James!" Sirius whined, though this time he refrained from attempting puppy-dog eyes. "There is a ninety-nine percent chance this will never happen again! We can use it to blackmail Lily-flower!"

Lily's eyes widened in horror as James's face cracked into an evil grin. She fought to break free from Sirius's death-grip.

"Get _off,_ Black!" She managed to turn around in his arms and began beating her fists furiously against his chest.

-FLASH-

"James Potter, when I get my hands on you -" Lily yelled.

"I like the sound of that," James teased.

"You two are completely horrid," she said, crossing her arms. Sirius let go of her.

"Aw, Lily-flower, we're just making sure you never forget us," he told her with a toothy grin.

"Oh, if only I could!" Lily groaned. James and Sirius tried to look hurt, only to burst out laughing seconds later.

-FLASH-

-FLASH-

-FLASH-

"Sirius!" Lily yelled, seeing spots. "What in Merlin's name are you doing?"

"Nothing," Sirius sang, trying to look innocent.

Lily could not help it, the expression was so out of place she threw her head back and laughed, clutching her sides and gasping for air.

"No wonder you always have detention! That has got to be the worst innocent face I've ever seen!"

Sirius rolled his eyes and snapped a few more pictures of Lily, James, and himself.

"Knock it off, you prat," Lily told him, covering her eyes. "I'm going to get something to eat."

Almost before the words left her mouth, the two boys jumped up and began bounding down the hallway to the kitchen.

Lily laughed lightly and shook her head, following them to make sure they left something other than dog food, though, knowing them, that would be gone too.

She was so confused. She was actually starting to warm up to James and Sirius, something she had never had any desire to do. They treated her like the three of them had been best friends for the last five years, rather than mortal enemies. Okay, maybe 'mortal enemies' was a bit much, but they had never liked each other before. Or, at least, _Lily_ had never liked _them_. After spending the last few days with them, however, she was beginning to realize they were sweet and funny and it was almost impossible not to have a good time in their presence.

At the same time, Lily felt guilty. She felt she was betraying herself. For so long, she had promised herself that she would always consider James Potter an immature, arrogant, bullying toerag. What had happened? He seemed.... different. This was not the same little boy who used to strut around Hogwarts hexing anyone who got in his way. He had changed, and Lily was changing too, though she was not sure if she liked it.

- - - - - - -

By the day of Petunia's party, the clouds had cleared and the sun was finally putting in an appearance. James and Sirius, having waited to send the letter until the storms had gone away, were still staying with the Evans, much to Petunia's fury. The house was in a mad rush to set everything up before the guests would arrive.

"Here, Mrs. Evans," Sirius said to Lily's mother. She was carrying a large table into the backyard. "I'll get that for you."

"Why, thank you, dear!" She utterly adored the boys.

James, meanwhile, was helping Lily's father string lights on the roof and in the trees. Mr. Evans found it very amusing that a sixteen year-old boy had never heard of electricity and was trying to explain the basics to a thoroughly confused looking James.

Lily was in the kitchen, baking a cake. Why Petunia had chosen Lily of all people for the task, the young witch would never know. Lily could hardly make a decent grilled cheese sandwich, much less a complicated cake.

Petunia was over-seeing and directing everything. She had been unhappy when Lily, James, and Sirius had started helping, but when James and Sirius had taken off their shirts due to the heat, she could no longer complain.

"Tuney, you're drooling," Lily laughed as her sister openly stared at James and Sirius's finely toned bodies.

"Shut up," Petunia muttered as she went to help her mother set up chairs, wiping her mouth, just in case. This only made Lily laugh harder.

She noticed her father and the boys sweating, so Lily took a break from her attempts at cake-baking and brought them some lemonade, instead.

"Hey guys," she called. "I brought everyone drinks!"

They all stared at Lily for a moment before bursting out laughing.

"Lily-flower, _what_ happened?" Sirius asked, gasping for air and wiping a tear from his eye.

"You look like you attacked a bag of flour!" James exclaimed.

"It put up a very good fight!" Lily joked, putting her hands on her hips. Everyone but Petunia doubled over with laughter. Lily was covered nearly head to toe in flour, as well as butter, eggs, and chocolate.

"Oh, Lily, dear," her mother said, finally calming down. "_I'll_ make the cake. You go take a shower."

Lily giggled. "Okay, thanks, Mum."

"WAIT!" Sirius yelled suddenly and before they knew what had happened, he had sprinted into the house.

The rest of them hardly had time to exchange puzzled looks before he was back, Lily's camera in hand.

"Sirius!" Lily yelled. "No way!"

-FLASH-

"You prat," Lily said, but she was laughing.

"Hey, Sirius! Get one like this!" James said. He ran up to Lily and licked her face, slowly and dramatically.

-FLASH-

"Eww!" Lily screamed, pushing him away.

-FLASH-

"I could say the same thing," James said, smacking his lips. "I certainly hope your cake doesn't taste like _that_."

Everyone laughed, even Petunia cracked a smile.

-FLASH-

"Okay, Sirius, enough," Lily told him, giggling, and ran into the house to take a much-needed shower.

- - - - - - -

As soon as the first guest arrived, Petunia had shoved Lily, James, and Sirius into Lily's room hissing, "you lot had better not screw this up for me!"

_-tap tap tap-_

"Zeus?" James asked, seeing his father's snowy owl outside the window. Lily rushed to open it and the bird flew in and dropped a letter at James' feet.

_James –_

_I have had the Evans' house connected to the floo network, so you and Sirius may return whenever you wish. There is a pouch of floo powder enclosed in this letter. His mum arrived right after we got your letter, so we made sure to let her know that Sirius was no where in our house._

_Tell the Evans thank you from your mother and I for keeping you. And tell Lily and her grandmother thank you for everything, you know Sirius is as good as our own son._

_Love,_

_Dad_

"I suppose we could go ahead and get back then," Sirius said. "I'm fine now, and dear Petunia made it pretty clear that we aren't welcome."

"Unless, of course, you happen to be shirtless," Lily grinned.

"Alright, mate, you go on ahead of me and unpack your stuff. Just take the room next to mine, as usual. I'm going to stay with Lily until the party's over," James told him. He pulled the sack of floo powder from inside the envelope his father sent. "Just leave it on the mantle."

"Alright, see you, mate. And, Lily-flower," he said, pulling her into a brotherly bear hug. "Thank you. I owe you one."

"And don't think I'll let you forget it," Lily teased.

He and James laughed lightly and Sirius went over to the beside table. There was one last -FLASH- before he took the film out and headed downstairs.

"He's never going to let me forget those pictures, is he?" Lily half-joked.

"No, I don't think he will," James chuckled.

"You don't have to stay, you know," she told him softly.

"I want to," James said firmly, sitting on the floor, his back against the wall. Lily sat across from him, leaning against the bed. "It really means a lot to me that you did all this for him. He's my best friend."

"It was really no big deal," Lily shrugged.

"It was to me," James smiled. "So, what now?"

"What d'you mean?"

"Where do we stand friendship-wise?"

Lily sighed. "I'll admit the last few days have been fun, but, but James, I don't think I'm quite ready yet. I'm just, really really confused right now, to be honest. I'm sorry."

"Why are you confused?" James asked gently.

Lily took a deep breath and said, "because there's a part of me that wants to be friends with you, a part of me that feels guilty about even considering it, and a part that's trying to figure out whether it wants to trust you or not." She almost sounded sad.

James smiled. "But that means I have a chance, right?"

"You've got a chance, if you're willing to wait for it."

"I'd wait forever for you, love."

Lily rolled her eyes. "You say that _now_."

"I'll say it until you believe it."

"Uh huh. Can we talk about something else, please?"

"Sure," James told her. It hurt to know that she still did not know if she could trust him or not. He had no idea how to do it, but he was going to prove himself to her if it was the last thing he ever did. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Anything," Lily said, her voice soft.

"What's your favorite kind of flower?" James asked suddenly.

"What?" Lily asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Your favorite flower, love. I always assumed it was a lily, but I suppose it could be anything."

"I do like lilies, but my favorite are sunflowers, actually," Lily told him. "So we're asking random questions, I guess? Hmm, who's your Quidditch team?"

A faint blush crept across James's cheeks. "You'll laugh," he said quietly.

"I won't."

"Trust me, you'll laugh."

"I don't know enough about it to know who's good and who isn't," Lily stated, smiling. "So I won't."

James was the one to laugh. "I guess I'll have to teach you sometime. But if you must know, it's the Chudley Cannons."

"See, that wasn't so hard," Lily said as though she were speaking to a five year-old who had just eaten his broccoli.

James stuck his tongue out at her. "Alright then, what is one of your most embarrassing habits?" he asked, then added, "that I wouldn't already know about."

Lily thought for a moment. "I drool in my sleep."

"Come on, that's not embarrassing! I bet it's cute!" James told her.

"It's embarrassing to me. And you are probably the only person in the world who would think it was cute. What's you're favorite color?"

"Emerald green," he said without hesitation, staring deep into her eyes. "With tiny flecks of gold."

Lily was glad the sun was setting. She hoped her blush would blend in with the reds and oranges streaming through the windows.

"What's your favorite soft drink?" he asked, grinning. He had noticed her blush, despite her obvious efforts to hide it. James could not understand why she would want to in the first place, it was adorable.

"Cherry Coke. What's your favorite flavor of toothpaste?"

They asked each other random questions until late in the night when Lily fell asleep on the floor. James smiled at her and easily lifted her small form onto the bed. He pulled the covers up and kissed her forehead.

"Goodnight, darling," he whispered in her ear. "Sweet dreams."

- - - - - - -

Lily woke the next morning alone in her bedroom. It was an odd feeling. She and James had slept on the floor in sleeping bags the last few days and she had grown accustomed to hearing the boys' slow, deep breathing when she woke up.

Lily sat up and stretched. She looked to the left and smiled, for there was something out of place sitting on her bedside table.

Sunflowers.

________________________________

**Whatcha think?**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**And please don't hate me for putting off their friendship! It's coming, I promise, but I never really believed Lily falling for James was a quick thing, it will take some time. They'll get there though, and time will only make things stronger. (:**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_Pictures of you, and pictures of me, remind us all of what we used to be._


	18. Pickles and Tomatoes On Wheat

**Ok, Wendy will not be able to beta until August 2, but I am going to update anyway, so please stick with me here, there will be errors, I am sure.**

**YOU ARE GOING TO HATE ME FOR THIS CHAPTER!! That's all I'm going to say. Feel free to let your feelings out, I don't mind getting bad reviews. ALSO! I want to make it clear that this story is _Canon_, and therefore, James and Lily cannot get together until 7th year!! That does not mean that Lily has to hate him until then, though. I promise you won't be disappointed if you keep reading.**

**Thank you to all my lovely reviewers! Due to the length of this note, I can't mention everyone, but thank you all!**

**This chapter is dedicated to _Hannah In Wonderland_ for sending me that ridiculously long review! You absolutely made my day, you can sound like a broken record anytime you want. (: And I quite agree, James really should be real, though I might drop dead in awe if he were. Haha.**

**Sorry for the insane author note! On with the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing you see here is mine, funnily enough.**

_And I don't want to love you, I just get confused and I come all undone._

**Chapter Eighteen: Pickles and Tomatoes On Wheat**

After the constant hilarity and excitement of living with James Potter and Sirius Black, things grew quite dull for Lily. She no longer had to work for the Langston family, so she spent most of her time roaming the streets of her little neighborhood, always making sure to avoid Spinner's End.

Lily was sitting on the dock one day, watching the gentle breeze ripple across the lake when she heard footsteps approaching. She turned around to see none other than Severus Snape standing behind her, staring at the ground and awkwardly shuffling his feet.

"What do you want?" Lily asked, eyes narrowing.

"I, er, well," he began, looking immensely uncomfortable. "I just, I wanted to, uh, apologize.... again."

"Look, Severus," Lily sighed, the name still sounded odd to her. "I forgive you, I really do. But you can't take it back."

"Lily, if I could I would -"

"I _know_ that, but it's too late," Lily told him, standing up. "You chose to side with the Death Eaters, Sev! What do you want me to do? I can't just start hanging out with you and turn a blind eye whenever your friends decide to go do something horrible!"

"It's never too late! You could side with, well, with me," he finished weakly.

Lily stared at him, open mouthed. "How could you say that? I've told you a thousand times that I do not approve of the Death Eaters, or You-Know-Who or any of it! Did you see the paper a few days ago? _Thirty-seven people, Sev_! They died because their parents had Muggle blood! It's so wrong! And speaking of blood, even if I felt the slightest inclination to join You-Know-Who – which I don't – do you really think anyone would accept me? No, of course they wouldn't!" Lily was breathing heavily, trying to control her anger.

"No," Severus said sadly. "They wouldn't accept you. If I could, if I could take it back, if I could get out of it, I would. If you would be my friend again, I would do it. But the Dark Lord does not take no for an answer, I have no choice."

Lily's expression softened slightly. "You always have a choice, Sev."

"You don't understand. He'll kill me, Lily."

"But Sev, what about Dumbledore? He could protect you. He _is_ the greatest wizard in the world," Lily reasoned.

"I, I just, I can't. It's too late," he mumbled.

Lily smiled. "Didn't you just tell me that it's never too late? You can always come back. There's a way, we just have to find it."

"I don't think so, Lily. It may not be to late for you, but I think it is for me."

"I don't believe that," Lily said defiantly.

"You don't know what he's like," Severus shivered.

"Yes I do, he kills innocent people for the simple reason that their blood is not 'pure.' He tortures people and controls them and a million other terrible things. I've seen his work all over the place. I think I have a good idea of what he's like. I know he'll try to hurt you, maybe even kill you, if you come back to the right side, but don't you see? People are starting to fight him. Dumbledore has from the beginning! He's a great wizard, Sev. He would give you another chance, you just have to trust him."

Severus shook his head, a pained expression on his face. "Lily, I'm not like you. I'm not strong enough, or brave enough to do that." He turned and began walking away. "Have a nice life with Potter!" he suddenly called over his shoulder.

Lily was shocked. "_What did you just say?_" she hissed, running to catch up with him.

"Potter," Severus said again, his black eyes cold. "I saw him and Black at your house. Good to know that I'm not in the way anymore."

"_What?_" Lily shrieked. "That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! He came to me because he needed help!"

"Don't lie to me, Lily!" Severus yelled, bristling. "He may have come to you for help, but don't you tell me that you don't enjoy all the attention he gives you! Admit it, without me around to remind you how arrogant he is, you're beginning to warm up to him."

Lily glared at him, she did not want him to know how hurt she was. "Do you really think I would fall for the old Potter? The one who used to strut around and hex everyone in sight? I never needed to to tell me how awful he was, but he's changed, Sev, he really has."

"I doubt that," he scoffed.

"You know what?" Lily growled, tears brimming in her eyes. "I think you're just jealous!"

"_Jealous_?" Severus spat. "Of _what_?"

"Jealous that James Potter is capable of change, where you are not! I asked him to change and he did, for me, Sev! He changed so I would be his friend, something that you are not willing to do!"

"So I was right," Severus whispered, his voice devoid of emotion. "You like him."

"I don't. And I would appreciate it if you would give me at least a little credit. I can take care of myself, I've already told him that I can't be his friend yet." With that, Lily turned on her heel and stormed back to the dock, leaving her once best friend standing alone and confused in the middle of the deserted street.

- - - - - - -

"Stupid Sev," Lily grumbled to herself as she threw a rock into the lake with all her might. "Stupid Potter."

Why did she have to warm up to James? All he did was confuse her. And Severus would not have been so mad if James had not been to her house. Not that she cared, of course. Or at least that was what she kept telling herself. Sev could rot and it would not bother Lily Evans. But, try as she might to believe it, she knew Sev would always have a place in her heart, however small and twisted and black it may have become, it was there, and there was nothing she could do about it.

Lily groaned and buried her face in her hands. She needed a distraction, something to take her mind off evil best friends and arrogant admirers. She needed something to make things feel normal, or at least as normal as could be for a redheaded witch whose world was on the brink of all out war and whose life was falling spectacularly to pieces.

At the sound of more footsteps Lily stood and spun around. "Sev, please, just leave me alone!" she screamed, but her green eyes widened in surprise and embarrassment when she was not looking at Severus at all.

Instead, Lily was facing a tall, handsome boy with dark brown hair and blue eyes. His muscular figure and strong, beautiful face gave him the appearance of a young Greek god who has lost his way.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" Lily said quickly, feeling her face heating up. "I, I thought you were someone else."

"It's perfectly alright," he grinned, revealing straight, white teeth.

_Hello distraction_, Lily thought mutinously as she smiled back. "Care to join me?" she asked, sitting back down and dangling her feet in the water.

"It would be an honor," he said, taking a seat beside her. "I'm Gregory Pearson, by the way. Everyone calls me Greg. May I ask who you are?"

"Lily Evans, glad to meet you, Greg."

"Oh believe me," he said softly, taking her hand in his and kissing it, "the pleasure is all mine."

Lily blushed lightly, which caused Greg to smile.

"You know, there's this great little restaurant on the other side of town. It's called Matilda's, would you care to meet me there at, say, seven?"

"Is it a date?" Lily asked, surprised by her own boldness.

Greg chuckled. "Well, naturally. I don't see how I could be just friends with a girl as gorgeous as you."

Lily's blush deepened. "And I don't see how I could possibly turn down a guy as handsome as you." That was not entirely true, of course. James was just as good looking but – _Ugh, shut up, Lily!_

Greg smiled, unaware of the silent battle going on in Lily's mind. "See you then," he said. He kissed her hand again and left.

As soon as he was out of sight, Lily all but sprinted back home. She yanked the door open and collided with someone standing just inside.

"Alice!" Lily squealed happily, throwing her arms around her best friend.

"Lily! Alice shrieked, just as delighted.

"Oh Alice, I'm so glad you're here! I have a date tonight and you _have_ to help me find something to wear!"

Alice looked like Christmas had come early.

"Come on!" she exclaimed. The tiny blond grabbed Lily's hand and half dragged her up the stairs to the bathroom. "Lily Claire Evans, this had better be the fastest shower you have ever taken in your entire life. I can't wait to hear all about him!" Alice called through the door.

It was. Lily was in and out in the blink of an eye and soon the two girls were chatting excitedly in Lily's bedroom.

"His name is Gregory Pearson – Greg for short – and Alice, you should see him! He's got brown hair and some of the prettiest blue eyes I've ever seen! He looks like a _god,_" Lily told Alice, who was digging through the closet. "He was so romantic, he kissed my hand and he was such a gentleman!"

"He sounds positively _dreamy,_" Alice exclaimed, clearly ecstatic for Lily. She walked over and turned the radio on softly, a love song was just beginning.

"Maybe it's a sign," the two friends said together and burst out laughing.

"So guess what," Alice began, going back to the closet.

"What?"

"Well, Frank has been writing to me all summer! He's abroad, but he says he's going to ask me out once he gets back! He said that I deserved to be asked in person, rather than in a letter."

"Alice, that's so sweet of him!" Lily exclaimed excitedly.

"_I know_," Alice moaned. "Lily, I think he may be perfect."

Lily laughed and began brushing her hair.

"Oh, I've found something!" Alice sang, her voice slightly muffled from being inside the closet.

"Let me see!"

Alice pulled out a pair of black skinny jeans and set them on the bed. She went over to her own bag and grabbed a flowy white top that revealed a little cleavage. She hurried back to the closet and found emerald green flats and then to the dresser to get the mysterious necklace Lily had been given for Christmas.

"I keep forgetting about this!" Lily said, clasping the emerald crescent around her slender neck.

She dressed quickly and allowed Alice to do her hair and makeup. It took quite a while.

"Okay, you can look now," Alice told Lily when she was finally satisfied with her work.

Lily turned around to face the mirror and could not contain a small smile. Her long, red hair was pin straight. Her eyes were outlined in a soft black and matching mascara elongated her eyelashes. There was a faint, but shimmery shadow on her eyelids.

"Oh, one more thing," Alice said and swiped a clear gloss over Lily's lips. "Perfect."

"Thank you Alice! I love it!" Lily exclaimed happily.

Alice beamed. "Good. Now go, it's 6:45!"

"Okay, okay. Bye, Al, wish me luck!" Lily called, running down the stairs.

"Good luck!" Alice yelled back with a laugh.

- - - - - - -

The petite blond witch made her way around Lily's room, putting away the make up and clothes that were strewn about. When she was done, Alice decided to write to Frank. She grabbed Lily's school bag and began searching for a quill and parchment.

Having difficulties, Alice upturned the bag, spilling its contents across the floor. There was a soft tinkle of glass and she looked down to see a small mirror lying on the floor. Alice picked it up and saw there was a note attached.

_Lily - _

_If you're ever in trouble or need someone to talk to, just say my name and I'll always be there._

_James_

Alice grinned slightly when she saw a scribble above James's signature. Looking closely, she saw that it had once read "love," but James must have crossed it out. The smile faded rather quickly. _ Does Lily know about this mirror? _Alice wondered. She sighed and bit her lip. James was so sweet and he always looked out for Lily, whether Lily liked it or not. Alice desperately hoped her best friend was making a wise decision by dating this Greg fellow.

- - - - - - -

Gregory Pearson's jaw dropped when he saw Lily. The jeans fit tight to her legs, showing their elegant shape and the top was a bit low cut, showing some cleavage.

"You look stunning," he told her, smiling radiantly.

His smile left her dazed for a moment before she blushed and thanked, following him into the restaurant.

The dim lighting inside was very romantic and each table sat only two people. There were couples of all ages scattered about the large room. When they reached their table, Greg pulled out Lily's chair for her.

"Thank you, Greg," she said with a smile.

"Of course, darling," he replied. With a jolt, Lily was reminded of James.

_He isn't even here and he's trying to ruin my love life. _ Lily thought bitterly.

Greg sat down opposite her and they looked at their menus. It was a sandwich place. Lily fought the urge to roll her eyes.

_How is it that James somehow manages to pop up everywhere? _ Lily asked herself, remembering the afternoons spent under the beech tree by the lake, eating sandwiches and laughing about everything and nothing.

Lily avoided ham and cheese – her favorite – knowing that the Muggles who worked here could never measure up to the school elves. At least, that was what she tried to tell herself, though she knew her real reason was to avoid anything that made her think of James.

"What can I get for you, dear?" the plump waitress asked.

"Hmm," Lily muttered, deciding to go off-menu. "I'll have a pickle and tomato sandwich on wheat and a cherry Coke.

Both Greg and the waitress gave her slightly disgusted looks, but Lily smiled. However childish it was, Lily felt that the grosser the sandwich, the more she was defying James.

"Lily Evans," Greg said once he had ordered (ham and cheese, of course, Lily almost laughed), "you are not like other girls."

Lily smiled again. "And why is that?"

Greg looked as though he had been hoping she would ask. "You aren't afraid to be yourself. You ordered a sandwich most people would never dream of trying, and this afternoon you very bluntly asked if this was a date. I just don't know many girls who would do that."

Lily blushed.

Greg chuckled. "And you're gorgeous, of course. And funny."

"Thanks," Lily said, silently cursing her blushing tendencies.

"Anytime." Greg gave her another angelic smile.

Their food arrived and Lily, terrified as she was to try her strange sandwich, put on a brave face and took a big bite. Then she smiled, absolutely delighted.

She had found a new favorite sandwich.

_Ha! Take that James Potter! _Lily thought triumphantly, then, _Oh no, I'm losing my mind._

"If only pickle and tomato sandwiches made every girl that happy," Greg stated, laughing at the grin on Lily's face.

Lily giggled. "Do you want to try it?" she asked, holding the sandwich out to him.

"Ah, no," he chuckled.

Lily shrugged and took another bite, failing to notice that every time she looked at her plate, Greg would glance longingly at a tall blond girl sitting only tables away.

- - - - - - -

Alice, more out of curiosity than anything, took the mirror over to Lily's bed and sat down.

"James Potter," she said, feeling rather dumb. The mirror show only her refection for a moment, but then there was a faint white glow and her face melted away. Alice saw only darkness, but she could hear James and Sirius talking.

"Oi! James!" she yelled.

- - - - - - -

James jumped about a foot in the air, sending the chess board in front of him flying. Sirius let out a bark-like laugh.

"Alice?" James asked, grabbing the two way mirror from the back pocket of his jeans. "Don't tell me I accidentally slipped the mirror into _your _bag!"

Alice gave a tinkling laugh. "Calm down, you moron. I'm at Lily's house."

"Where is she?" James asked as the chess picked itself up and the pieces went back to their places, yelling rude and vulgar comments.

Alice's face fell for a moment. "Erm.... she's, uh, out."

"On a date?" James asked.

Alice nodded sadly.

"Good," James said, surprising her. "She deserves to date whoever she wants. I don't want to get in the way."

James knew the blond girl in the mirror could hear the pain behind his casual words, try as he might to hide it. "He does treat her right, though, doesn't he?" James asked, a worried expression flickering across he face.

"I haven't met him," Alice answered honestly. "But from what Lily says, he seems nice enough. Though, I'm sure no one would ever be as good to her as you are."

"He'd better be if he likes his face the way it is," James growled. "He should treat her _better _than I do, really, because I clearly don't make her happy."

"It's okay, James," Alice reassured him. "I would never let Lily date a loser. Except for you, of course." She gave him an angelic smile as Sirius burst out laughing.

James felt the corners of his mouth twitch slightly, hiding his own smile.

"Thanks, Al," he said sarcastically. "I'm holding you to that."

"Wouldn't expect anything else," Alice grinned.

- - - - - - -

Lily and Greg were walking past the little shops outside the restaurant.

"So this is really the first date you've been on in two years?" Greg asked in disbelief.

"Mmhmm," Lily said sourly. Gideon Prewett had been the last person brave enough to take his chances with James, but he was three years her senior and they decided to split up after he graduated.

"Then I suppose you haven't had one of there in a while either," Greg said, leaning down and pressing his lips to hers.

They were soft and warm, but hungry as well. Lily smiled to herself, imagining the look on James's face if he saw this. Wait, was that normal? Surely you weren't supposed to think about other guys while kissing someone? Lily mentally shook herself and wrapped her arms around Greg's neck, pulling him deeper into the kiss. He put his hands on her waist and backed her up against the wall of a shop, biting her bottom lip and running his tongue across it. She smiled again and opened her mouth. His tongue plunged in, exploring every surface and Lily gave a soft moan of pleasure.

Greg smiled, for he had seen tears in the eyes of the tall blond looking out the window of the shop across the street.

He gave Lily's waist a squeeze and pulled away. "That's enough for you," he chuckled.

Lily blushed and Greg kept an arm around her waist as he walked her home.

"Thank you for tonight," Lily said, smiling up at him once they reached her doorstep. "You have no idea how much I needed that."

Greg laughed. "Lily, you're a bit strange, you know. But I don't think I would change a thing about you.

Lily beamed up at him. He gave her a quick kiss before waving goodbye and heading off down the dark street.

Lily opened the door and ran to her bedroom.

- - - - - - -

"Lily's home," Alice whispered into the mirror. "I've got to go."

James nodded and the mirror glowed again, replacing James's face with her own. Alice quickly stuck the note back onto the mirror and shoved it into Lily's bag as the bedroom door flew open.

"Alice he's absolutely_ wonderful!_" Lily squealed.

"Lily, that's fantastic!" Alice exclaimed. "I want to hear all about it! And don't you dare leave anything out!"

___________________________________

**Told you you'd hate me! Don't worry though, Lily and James are made for each other, it's going to take a bad relationship or two to make her realize it. You know, eventually. XD**

**Feel free to be angry with me, but PLEASE REVIEW!**

**This might be my last update of the summer, possibly, HOPEFULLY NOT THOUGH! School starts next week so updates might be a little slow at times, but I promise they'll keep coming, so please please please don't give up on me!**

**I'll try to have another chapter out before I go back, but it depends on how busy things get.**

**I love you all to bits!**

**Thanks so much!**

**And the quote is another random one from a friend (:**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

"_The best pick-up line ever: I'm not trying to impress you or anything, but..... I'm Batman."_

_-Alec_


	19. Dating Dos and Don’ts

**Rawr, I wanted to have this up on the 31st**** (happy birthday, Jo!), but no luck, I didn't finish in time. Wendy is still unable to Beta, so again, sorry for errors.**

**Thanks to my fabulous reviewers: **_**mimimi213, BettyCrocker, Queenie's Broken Heart, RachelElizabeth, quenchable, lilyflower102, Marteczka's Quill, irockmyownsox, Hannah In Wonderland, RaindropsOnTheRooftop, kittyatza, Hannahble, HGHPlove4ever15, kuri333, **_**and**_** pinkpearl89**_**. You guys are the best! Love you all to bits!**

**This chapter is dedicated to **_**hpdreamer500**_**! Thanks for reviewing every chapter! You're awesome!**

_No one can make you feel inferior without your consent._

**Chapter Nineteen: Dating Dos and Don'ts**

It had been two weeks to the day Lily had burst through the front door and nearly knocked Alice Hinton to the floor in her excitement. Now, the little blond witch was back home, flipping through a Muggle fashion magazine her best friend had been kind enough to give her. Her large blue eyes slid over the glossy pages, not truly seeing them. She was preoccupied with thoughts of Gregory Pearson.

Alice had met him on her visit to Lily and he seemed to be quite the gentleman, but Alice was unsure. She noticed something in his eyes when he looked at Lily, well, maybe it was the absence of something actually. She thought of James, how his hazel eyes lit up at the mere mention of the redhead's name. How he looked at her like she was the most beautiful thing in all the world and that his eyes would bleed if he had to look away. Gregory never had that look. His was usually one of hunger, of lust. Nothing more.

Truth be told, Alice was extremely worried about Lily. She knew, of course, that her best friend could take care of herself, but then, Lily had not really _been _herself as of late. She was far more reckless than the Lily Alice knew. Her Lily would never have agreed to date someone who just showed up out of the blue the way Greg had. Her Lily would proceed with caution, not fly into a relationship with such reckless abandon.

"Stupid boys," Alice grumbled to herself.

-_DING DONG_-

Alice flipped the magazine shut and left her room, making her way quickly through the large, silent house. Her parents were at a banquet at the home of a friend of theirs, as they often were, which left Alice to fend for herself. She did not really mind though, her parents were rather stiff and boring in Alice's opinion. She preferred the silence to their useless conversation.

Just as she reached the front door, Alice remembered that she had already put her pajamas on for the night, just a long t-shirt and a pair of cotton shorts. The petite witch shrugged to herself. Whoever it was would just have to deal with it.

She unlocked the door and opened it to reveal a tall, handsome boy with light brown hair and chocolate colored eyes. He was grinning ear to ear as he held out a bouquet of red roses.

"FRANK!" Alice squealed, throwing her arms around him. "I though you weren't coming back for two more days!"

"Counting down, were you?" Frank joked as Alice let go of him. "I decided to end my vacation a few days early to surprise you."

"Well it worked!" Alice exclaimed delightedly. "And thank you for the roses! They're lovely!"

Frank chuckled. "Glad you like them. Nice shirt, by the way, I never pictured you as a _Shrieking Silence _fan. I thought your taste in music might be a bit more upbeat."

Alice glanced down at her shirt and felt herself blush. Maybe she should have changed. Trying to cover her embarrassment, she looked him in the eye and said mysteriously, "I suppose there's a lot of things you don't know about me."

This made Frank laugh. "Nothing to be embarrassed about, Al. I did come a bit late, maybe I should come back tomorrow..."

"NO!" yelled Alice. She grabbed his arm and pulled him inside. "Give me ten minutes."

Without another word, Alice dashed back up to her bedroom and tossed the roses in an old bottle of water. She pulled on a little blue sun dress and flip flops, and ran a hand through her slightly matted hair, causing the short blond strands to stand on end once more. Alice grabbed her makeup bag and applied mascara and lip gloss and rushed back to where Frank was waiting for her.

He grinned widely when he saw her. "I'm impressed, Al. It only took you eight minutes."

"Counting down, were you?" Alice quoted him, laughing.

He chuckled and kissed her cheek. "You look beautiful," he told her softly.

Alice blushed again, but smiled up at him. "So are you going to ask me out or what?"

Frank grinned. "Alice Hinton, would care to accompany me for a walk along the pier?"

"The pier?" Alice asked, her brow furrowed. "That's two hours away."

"Ah, but you forget, I have my Apparation License."

"I don't though – OH!" Alice's eyed widened in comprehension.

Frank extended his arm to her and she grabbed on tight. Alice had heard of Side-Along Apparation before, but had never actually done it. He winked at her and turned on the spot, sucking the two of them into a swirl of color.

- - - - - - -

Vanessa was sitting on Lily's bed, staring absentmindedly at the ceiling while fanning herself with her hand. The brunette had arrived three days before and she and Lily had finally been able to spend time together. Now, however, Vanessa was alone. She was waiting for Lily to come back from a date.

Gregory Pearson was good-looking, charming, and doting. Everything a girl could want, but something was not right about him. Lily had told Vanessa about all of their dates and one thing was always the same. They always went _out_. Even in the heat of summer when no one wanted to be anywhere but indoors, he insisted on taking her to the park, the dancing pavilion, or somewhere to eat. He never wanted to just stay home and watch a movie or something. He wanted Lily on display, Vanessa could tell. _Who _exactly he wanted to display her for, Vanessa did not know. But something was up with him.

"He'd better not hurt her," Vanessa growled to no one in particular. "_What's_ taking them so long?"

- - - - - - -

Lily and Greg were strolling through the park. Even though the sun was going down, it was incredibly hot out.

"Please, Greg, let's go," Lily asked for what felt like the hundredth time. She hated to whine, but the heat was almost unbearable. But she was here with Greg, and that helped. She had become quite taken with him after the first date. Sure she had meant him to be a fling to help get her mind off Sev and James, but he was really wonderful to her and Lily found that she wanted to be with him for him.

"Aw, come on, baby, this isn't so bad," he said, slinging his arm around her waist.

"What are we looking for precisely?" Lily inquired as she glanced around at the nearly empty park.

"We aren't looking for anything. I just want to spend time with you," Greg said in her ear, his voice husky.

Lily giggled as he kissed her neck softly. They turned a corner which brought them out of the tree covered path on which they had been walking. There was a bench a little ways away where a few girls were sitting, talking and laughing. One of them was tall and blond.

Suddenly Greg wheeled Lily around and pushed her up against a tree, his lips attacking hers. Lily, though startled by this outburst of passion, kissed him back fervently and savored the taste of his warm mouth. She plunged her hands into his dark brown hair and tilted her head back, deepening the kiss as his tongue shoved inside her.

Then the kiss started changing. He grew hungrier and his hands, which had been at her waist, made their way up the front of her blouse and caused Lily to gasp. He had tried this once before, but she had put her foot down, how could he have forgotten?

"Greg," Lily said, pulling her lips away from his as his hands tried to get under her bra.

"Hmm?" he asked as his lips traced her jaw line.

"Greg _stop_," she commanded, trying to pull his hand out from under her shirt.

He was stronger though, and his other hand snaked up her back and fumbled with the clasp on her bra. Lily was starting to panic. Greg had never done this before, she had told him she was uncomfortable with such contact. Why was he betraying her? She felt tears welling in her eyes when suddenly -

"GREGORY MARCUS PEARSON!" a furious voice came from behind him. He let go of Lily immediately and spun around. A tall blond girl stood before him, fists clenched in anger and eyes narrowed in hatred. "Leave this poor girl _alone_!" she continued, walking around Greg to stand in front of Lily, who was straightening her shirt.

"Stella, baby!" Greg said, grinning at her.

"Don't you dare!" Stella yelled. "I know what you've been doing! Dragging her around with you wherever I happen to be, I'm not an idiot Greg. You've been trying to make me jealous!"

Lily glared at the back of Stella's blond head. Surely this girl was mistaken. Lily's Greg, trying to make someone else jealous? _Impossible_! She thought. Lily looked to Greg, hoping he would deny the accusation.

He sputtered for a moment before saying, "did it work?"

Lily gasped.

"_No way in Hell did it work_!" Stella was shaking with rage. "Did it not cross your mind that you would hurt _her_? How selfish _are_ you? Just because you know what girls like to hear does not give you the right to use them to get what you want!"

"It would have been worth it if it had worked!" Greg protested.

"I'm still here, Greg!" Lily yelled, tears of sadness and anger mixing as they spilled from her green eyes. "Are you saying that I don't mean _anything_ to you?"

"Well, Lils, you were a good snog and all, but -" he was cut off. Both girls, with all the strength they could muster, had punched him on either side of the face.

He stumbled backwards and tripped over a protruding tree root, sending him into the polluted river that ran through the park.

"Come on," Stella said, sending Greg one last loathing glare before pulling Lily away from him. "I'll walk you home. Lily? Is it?"

"Thanks," Lily murmured, wiping her eyes and leading the way. "And yeah, it is. Stella, right?"

"Yes. I'm really really sorry about that -" she began.

"Don't worry about it," Lily told her in a broken sort of voice. "It wasn't your fault. I'm so _stupid_! I should have seen through him."

"_Don't _blame yourself. He's incredibly smooth. He's really got the lines down."

Lily blinked. Something had stirred in her memory.

"_But if we ever become friends, you have to stop with the pet names." Lily had said as she and James sat on the cold stone floor of Slughorn's store room._

"_I'm sorry, darling, but you're just too, well, darling, for me to resist."_

_Lily rolled her eyes. "I already told you those lines don't work on me."_

"_They aren't lines, hun, I mean every word."_

"Ugh!" Lily exclaimed, snapping out of the memory. "Boys are terrible."

Stella smiled sadly, her light brown eyes full of understanding. "It's true," she told Lily. "But there's one out there for each of us. It's like my mom says, 'don't settle for someone who kisses up to you all the time. Wait for the guy who knows how to make you angry and does so on a regular basis. The guy who will be honest with you and tell you if you look ridiculous or that you're acting stupid. Because love was never meant to be easy. It was meant to be worth it.'"

Lily gave her a small smile. "Thanks, Stella. For everything. I can see why Greg would want you back."

Stella shrugged. "We girls have to stick together. Besides, I would never go back to him. As of late he's, well, let's just say he's made some bad decisions as to who he wants to hang out with. He wouldn't listen when I told him to forget about them, that they were no good. That's why I broke up with him in the first place."

"I know how you feel," Lily told her. "My best friend, Sev, started associating himself with a bad group of people. I begged him to get away from them, but he refused."

"So basically, it's as you said: Boys are terrible."

Lily laughed quietly, though it was half-hearted. They walked up the driveway to Lily's house and stopped on the threshold.

"Well, thanks again Stella," Lily said. "And tell you mother thank you from me as well."

Stella grinned. "I will, she'll like that. I hope we see each other again."

"Me too," Lily told her sadly, knowing perfectly well - because of Hogwarts - they probably never would. "But just in case, I hope you find a guy who loves to piss you off and is always brutally honest with you."

Stella laughed. "You too, Lily. After all this, I'd say you deserve it."

The two girls hugged and Lily entered the house while Stella took off down the street.

- - - - - - -

Alice and Frank came to a halt behind a little beach house. The small blond grasped her chest, gasping for air.

"Why would anyone want to travel that way?" she choked out. "That had to be one of the worst things I've ever done."

Frank chuckled and put a steadying hand on her back. "You get used to it. Are you all right?"

Alice nodded. "So, what should we do?" she asked, straightening her dress.

"Well, we could stay on the beach," Frank suggested. "Or go to the pier. There's lots of places to eat of you're hungry."

As if it heard him, Alice's stomach growled.

"Food it is, then," Frank grinned and took her hand in his.

Alice smiled as he led her across the sand and up onto the brightly lit pier. She had been waiting to go out with Frank for ages, and now here she was holding his hand on a warm summer night.

"So, let's see…" Frank said, looking around. "Are you in the mood for burgers and fries, Chinese, or something fancy?"

Her stomach rumbled again, louder this time. "Chinese. It's the fastest."

Frank laughed as he pulled her over to a little take-out place and ordered two quarts of shrimp fried rice and sodas.

"So," he began. "Where do you want to eat?"

Alice looked around the crowded pier, there was not an open bench or table anywhere in sight. "Why don't we go back to the beach?"

"An excellent idea," Frank told her, she smiled up at him.

Once back by the water, Frank glanced around and pulled out his wand. He conjured a blanket for them to sit and a few candles to illuminate the dark shores. They pair settled down, feeling quite at peace with the world.

"So Alice, tell me," Frank said as he handed her her food and a pair of chopsticks. "What do you want to do when you leave school?"

Alice felt her face flush and ducked down over the carton in her hands, pretending to be figuring out how to eat with Chinese utensils. "I, well…"

"You can tell me," Frank told her gently. "I won't laugh."

"It's just, everyone expects me to go into fashion or design, or something, I don't know, something _shallow_. And a year ago, I was all for it as well. But now, after seeing what You-Know-Who and his followers are doing to people, I want to do something more meaningful, you know? I've been thinking about becoming an Auror."

To her surprise, a huge grin spread across Frank's face. "I think that's a marvelous idea, Al. And don't worry about other people. If they care about you, then they'll support you, whatever you decide to do."

"Thanks, Frank," Alice smiled shyly. Then her brow furrowed. "Do you really think I can though? I mean, it's supposed to be one of the hardest things to do."

"Alice, sweetheart, look at me," Frank said, sliding a finger under her small chin and lifting her face so their eyes met. "You can do anything you want to do. Sure it will be hard, but if you keep going, it'll be worth it in the end. _And _it won't hurt that we'll be in training together."

"What?"

"I've always wanted to be an Auror," Frank explained. "My dad's one, and I really look up to him. I'll be a year ahead of you, but we'll still be together. I don't know if that's any comfort to you, but -"

Alice put her food down and wrapped her arms around him. "How could that not be comforting, Frank? If anything, you just helped me know for sure that this is what I want to do. It's not nearly as scary knowing I won't be alone."

Frank chuckled and hugged her back, resting his cheek on top of her head. They sat like that in amiable silence for a few moments before Frank sighed.

"I'd better get you home. I don't want your parents to worry."

"They probably wouldn't even notice I was gone," Alice rolled her eyes.

Frank kissed her forehead. "I would notice. And I'm sure they would too."

"How is it you can always make me feel better, no matter what?" she asked, smiling at him.

Frank chuckled. "I don't know. How is it anyone could have such a beautiful smile?"

Alice blushed. "Did you know you're sort of incredible?"

"Well I must be," Frank laughed. "I managed to get a date with you."

- - - - - - -

"It's about time you -" Vanessa stopped dead when she saw tears glistening on her best friend's face. "Lily, what happened?"

Lily sighed resignedly and retold the events of the day. By the end, Vanessa's surprised expression had turned to one of fury.

"Do you want me to beat him up for you?" she growled.

Lily would have laughed, but retelling the story had rekindled her anger with herself.

"It's taken care of," she told Vanessa. "Why am I so stupid?" she exclaimed suddenly, punching her pillow. "First Severus Snape," she spat the name. "I trusted him and look where that got me. Then James Potter, did you know I was actually going to be his friend?" Lily laughed a cold, cruel laugh. "And now Gregory Pearson uses me like this! What's wrong with me?"

Vanessa opened her mouth to reply, but stopped short when a voice that was neither Lily's or her own broke the short silence.

"Lily? Lily are you okay?" James's voice was frantic, though somewhat muffled.

"Potter? Where are you?" Lily asked harshly.

"In your school bag."

"Wha -" Vanessa began, but Lily was already up and digging through her satchel furiously. Almost everything inside was on the floor before Lily found a small mirror with a scrap of parchment attached to the front, without reading it, she yanked it off and found herself looking - not at her own reflection - but at the worried face of James Potter.

- - - - - - -

James almost gasped when he saw Lily. Her emerald green eyes were red and puffy and tear tracks stained her beautiful face. The little eye makeup she wore was running. She must have been crying pretty hard.

"What did he do to you?" James growled.

"Nothing you haven't done," Lily snapped back.

"_What_?" James exclaimed, shocked. "I would never do anything to hurt you!"

"Oh sure, that's why you keep lying to me!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Please, as if you don't know," Lily glared at him. "Let me see, 'you're too darling to resist,' 'guys should realize that you're worth fighting for,' 'they aren't lines, I mean every word.' Blah blah blah."

"I wasn't lying when I said any of those things!" James told her, exasperated.

"Right," Lily said sarcastically. "You and Greg just happen to think all the same things. Come on, I've told you before to not use lines like that on me!"

"And I've told you that _they are not lines_! Maybe this Greg fellow was just telling the truth."

"So if he really thought I was so great, why would he date me just to make his old girlfriend jealous? Hmm? Explain that one. Or better yet, tell me what _you _want me for. To prove that you really can get any girl you want, perhaps? Or maybe to hurt Severus?"

"Oh no, Lily," James whispered. No wonder she was yelling, she must be devastated. "He's an _idiot _for doing that to you."

"Save it," lily snapped.

"I'm going to kill him," James growled, his hazel eyes narrowing.

"I'm not Cinderella!" Lily exclaimed, but the Muggle metaphor was lost on James. She let out an aggravated sigh. "I don't need a knight in shining armor! Especially if it's _you_! I can take care of myself."

"Lily, please, what can I do to prove I'm telling the truth?" James pleaded.

"No idea," Lily replied coldly. "If it actually means anything to you, I'm sure you'll figure something out."

"I will. I promise."

"Don't promise me anything," Lily said dangerously.

James's eyes narrowed further in defiance. "I care about you. I am going to prove it. I promise."

Lily glared at him furiously. "Goodbye, Potter."

"You don't know how to turn the mirror off," James smirked. "I could stay and talk to you all night."

"I'm sure smashing it against the wall will do."

Normally, James would have laughed, but this time, he felt no inclination to do so. "All right, all right, I'll turn it off! Bye, Evans."

And with that, Lily vanished from sight. Her reflection was replaced by his own face, which looked hurt and worried.

Sirius, who had been listening to the whole conversation, looked at his best friend sadly. Lily would never know how deeply she could hurt James. No girl should be able to do that to a guy, it was almost inhumane.

James let out an angry yell and punched the wall with his fist.

"Why is it that every time we start to become friends I screw it up? _Damn it!"_

"It wasn't your fault, Prongs," Sirius stated.

"Yes it was! I should have been there! I should have met this guy in person! I could have told her he was no good."

"Do you honestly think she would have believed you?"

James paused. "No. But at least I could have threatened him, made sure he would treat her right."

"Think about it, mate," Sirius reasoned. "If he was just planning on using her, she wouldn't have been worth it too him. He would have walked and she would still have blamed you."

"Better that she's mad at me for breaking them up than mad at me for no reason _and _heart broken over some son of a bitch that doesn't even deserve to look at her!"

"You really care about her?"

"_Yes_," James answered seriously. "You don't know the half of it. No girl has ever made me so happy I could sing and dance or so hurt I could cut my own heart out. Lily, she just, I don't know. It's like she breaks straight through all my defenses and there isn't anything I can do about it. She means the world to me, and she doesn't even know it."

"Well, I guess we'll just have to work extra hard to get her back."

James smiled. "Thanks, Pad. I don't know what I would do without you."

- - - - - - -

Lily groaned and flopped back onto her bed, ignoring Vanessa's attempts to comfort her. Lily was angry with Sev and Greg. She was angry with James. And she was angry with _herself _for being so blind. She would never let another guy get to her like that again. No, from now on, things were going to change.

____________________________________

**-Ducks for cover-**

**DON'T HATE ME!**

**Actually, I found **_**Lilyflower102**_**'s review made me laugh last chapter, so you may opening hate me if you so desire. **_**However**_**, stick with me. They make up soon, I promise!!**

**PLEASE REVIEW!!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_Sadness is easier because it is surrender._


	20. The Beauty of Imperfection

**Woo, fast update! Thanks so much to my lovely reviewers! I'm not going to name them this time because I know some of the old hands still have not had time to review that last chapter. But for those who did and to those who will, thank you! This is for you!**

_A person doesn't have to be perfect to be exactly what you need._

**Chapter Twenty: The Beauty of Imperfection**

Alice and Vanessa were waiting anxiously on Platform Nine and Three-Quarters. The girls glanced continuously around the station, looking for a certain redhead. Neither had heard much from Lily since her break-up with Greg. Vanessa had stayed with her for a few days, but Lily had been withdrawn and distant the entire time. The brunette assumed it was merely post break-up blues and that her friend would get over it, but even Lily's letters weeks after the incident were short and to the point, no mention anywhere of her feelings or thoughts.

"There she is, there she is!" Alice exclaimed, jumping up and down to see over the heads of the people crowding the platform.

Vanessa, taller than the blond, only had to crane her neck to see Lily saying goodbye to her mother and father, Petunia had once again stayed home.

"Al, she doesn't look so good," Vanessa murmured, biting her lip.

Alice hardly noticed the worry in her friend's voice, she grabbed Vanessa's wrist and began dragging her over to Lily.

"Lily!" Alice yelled, waving her free arm above her head to catch the redhead's attention.

Lily whirled around, and grinned when she saw them. Vanessa, however, found it quite hard to return the smile. Alice's grip tightened on her arm as she too noticed the drastic change in Lily's appearance.

Her thick red hair, normally wavy, was pin straight and newly cut bangs fell into her vibrant green eyes. Those eyes were now lined in black and a matching mascara covered her eyelashes, both much thicker than Lily usually wore. She was dressed in black skinny jeans and a long sleeved grey shirt, which revealed a dramatic weight loss. Lily did not have a lot to lose to begin with, but now any roundness in her face and body was gone and her features were quite angular. She was turning heads - mostly male - all over the station.

Aside from her looks, Lily seemed the same as ever. She ran up to her best friends and threw her arms around them.

"What happened to you?" Alice blurted out.

Vanessa fought the urge to roll her eyes, Alice had never been one to hide her feelings. This time, though, the brunette had to agreed with her petite little friend. They needed to know what was going on.

"What are you talking about?" Lily asked.

"Don't give as that, Lily," Vanessa told her. "You've obviously lost a lot of weight. Not to mention you got a new hair style and your makeup is darker."

"Come on, Ness. I just felt like a change, that's all. You worry about me too much."

"But, Lily -" Alice began.

"_I'm fine_," Lily insisted. "Come on, let's go find a compartment."

Alice and Vanessa exchanged worried looks as Lily set off across the platform, dragging her trunk behind her.

Once on the train, the three girls found a compartment near the end and proceeded to lift their trunks onto the luggage rack, which, as always, was quite difficult.

"Okay, on three," Vanessa instructed as they held Alice's trunk about half-way on the rack. The others nodded. "One… two… _three_!"

They heaved, putting all of the strength into it and, finally, it slid into place.

"Whew," Alice breathed. "Two more to go!"

They were just about to start on Lily's when Remus knocked on the window of the compartment. Alice grinned at Vanessa, who blushed and shook her head before motioning him to come in.

He smiled at the three of them, though Vanessa noticed it was slightly strained. The full moon had just ended and there were bruise-like circles under his deep grey eyes. His hair was quite disheveled and there were a few cuts on his face and forearms. Always the gentleman, though, he grabbed the two remaining trunks and lifted them onto the rack for the girls.

"Thanks, Remus!" Lily said brightly, ignoring the worried look he was giving her. "How are you feeling?"

He gave Alice a sideways glance before saying, "I'm all right, a little tired. My, er, _rabbit _was sick. I had to stay up to take care of it." He gave Lily and Vanessa significant looks. The girls smiled sadly at him.

"So, Remus," Vanessa said, changing the subject. "Have a good summer?"

Remus shrugged. "It was all right. Can I talk to you for a moment?"

Vanessa raised her eyebrows but nodded and followed him out of the compartment, though not before she saw Lily and Alice grinning knowingly behind her.

Remus led her towards the front of the train and entered the first open compartment he saw. Shutting the door behind them, he turned to a confused looking Vanessa.

"Is something wrong with Lily?" he asked. "She looks… different."

Vanessa quickly explained the situation with Greg and the fight with James, Remus's brow furrowed as he listened.

"Things just haven't gone well for her as of late, have they?" he observed. "First Snape, then this Gregory Pearson, and I heard her talking to her parents, it seems her sister is now refusing to speak to her at all."

"Why does it seem like everything bad has to happen to her? I mean, why can't something happen to me instead?" Vanessa mused.

Remus chuckled. "A bit self-sacrificing, are we?"

"Well, I just meant that I don't have any problems, and I'm thankful, don't get me wrong, but I just wish I could take some of it away from Lily, she has to deal with so much. And she doesn't complain hardly at all."

"Lily's certainly lucky to have a friend like you, Ness," Remus smiled down at her.

Vanessa knew she was blushing, but, for once, she did not care. "Thanks, Remus."

He looked as if he wanted to say more, but stopped himself and Vanessa groaned inwardly.

"You know," she began, hoping she would not regret what she was about to say. "You call me self-sacrificing, but what about you?"

Remus suddenly looked nervous. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean, Rem. You give me all these little hints, seeming like you really like me, but then you randomly get all stiff and cold towards me. Don't think I didn't work it out."

"Vanessa -"

"Please just hear me out," Vanessa begged. "Normally, well, always, I wait for the guy to make the first move, but Remus, I like you a lot. And I know you're too noble to ask me out. You're afraid you'll just end up hurting me because of your condition. I just, I wanted you to know how I feel."

"Nessa, I promised myself years ago that I wouldn't get involved romantically with anyone. I could never have a proper relationship, I would only bring you pain." His voice contained more than a pang of sadness.

Vanessa stared up at him. "Do you really believe that?" she whispered. "I care about you enough to work around your problem."

"And I care enough about you to keep you from making a huge mistake," Remus told her, putting his hands on her arms.

"How could what we feel be a mistake?" Vanessa asked quietly, feeling tears welling in her chocolate brown eyes.

"No, no, no, please don't cry," Remus said, sitting her down in the bench and kneeling in front of her.

Vanessa looked away and wiped her eyes. "Sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean to just, dump all this on you. But after watching Lily get hurt and seeing her hurt James like that, it just, made me appreciate you."

Remus shut his eyes and took a deep breath. "You're making this hard on me, you know. The whole not falling for someone thing."

"Good," Vanessa said quietly, a sad smile on her face.

- - - - - - -

"Knock, knock!"

Lily looked up from a game a wizard's chess with Alice to see Frank Longbottom leaning on the door frame. The redhead smiled. Alice had told her all about her and Frank's budding relationship, and it sounded as though the little blond witch could not be happier.

"Hey Frank!" the girls said together.

"I'm not interrupting, am I?"

"'Course not," Alice told him. "You can come in, you know."

"Actually," Frank said, "I was hoping you would take a walk with me." He grinned mischievously.

Lily laughed. "Our game can wait, Al. Go ahead."

"Thanks, Lily!" Alice called over her shoulder as she hurried out the door.

Lily chuckled lightly and curled up on her seat, grabbing a book from her bag.

"Lily?" a cautious voice came from the threshold of her compartment.

When she saw James Potter standing there, looking at her nervously, Lily felt herself shut down a little.

"What?" she asked, trying to keep her voice even.

"I just wanted to talk to you."

She closed her eyes. "Is there anything I can say to make you go away?"

When she opened them again, it was to see him grinning at her.

"Absolutely not."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Fine. Talk."

She had not noticed James had been holding his breath until he released it and took the seat across from her.

"Care for a game?" James asked, nodding to the chess board.

"I said talk, not play."

"Suit yourself," he shrugged. "If you don't think you're clever enough to beat me…."

Lily knew James was baiting her. It worked. She let out am aggravated sigh and sat back up to face him.

"All right, fine. One game."

James grinned and reset the board before beginning to speak.

"Lily, I wanted to talk to you about that conversation we had over the summer. Pawn to C5."

She watched his piece move across the board. "Pawn to E2. And I know."

"Could you just, tell me why you got mad at _me_?"

Lily brushed a strand of hair from her eyes. "Because you tell me all the same things Gr- _he _did. And after what he did to me, do you honestly expect me to believe it from you?"

"Yes. Bishop to B1."

She stared at him in disbelief. "Just 'yes'?"

"I don't know what else to say. Your move."

"Castle to A3," Lily said distractedly. "You could maybe give me a reason to believe you."

"Knight to A3," James grinned as Lily's piece crumbled to dust. Then he turned his gaze to the redheaded witch sitting before him. "Listen to me, I never once lied to you, Lily."

Lily rolled her eyes. "If you say so," she told him sarcastically.

"Did he ever say anything bad about you?" James asked suddenly.

"Pawn to H4. And no, he didn't. Why?"

"I'm just trying to figure this guy out. I mean, he threw away a chance with you. I've been trying to get that for five years now, it's not something I would be able to walk away from."

"Empty words. Your mind could change. I mean, you tell me all this great stuff, but you don't know the bad side of me."

James looked like he wanted to laugh.

"I don't know the bad side? Are you kidding me? Lily Evans, you are impatient, insecure, you argue, you nag, you've got the worst bloody temper of anyone I've ever met, you hate being wrong, you're slow to trust people, you're awful at Transfiguration, you get stressed easily, you PMS like no other and you can be a total bitch," he paused. "Oh, and did I mention that you are the worst cook I've ever seen in my life?"

Lily stared at him, torn between anger and astonishment. Just then, Alice and Frank reappeared, faces slightly flushed.

"Oh!" Alice exclaimed when she saw the two of them. "Should we go?"

"No," Lily said slowly, still staring at James. "You can stay."

- - - - - - -

"Nessa, can we at least wait a little while?" Remus asked, holding her hand. He was still kneeling on the floor in front of her.

"But why?"

"I just need to think about some things. Please, Vanessa."

She looked into his deep grey eyes, they were full of sincerity and pain, but there was something else there too. It was a shadow of the look in James's eyes when he saw Lily and Vanessa had to smile.

"All right, but will you promise me something?"

"What?"

"Promise me that when you 'think about things' you'll go with what your heart tells you, not with what you head says."

He gazed at her for a moment before nodding solemnly.

"Thank you," she whispered and kissed his forehead gently.

- - - - - - -

James did not want to finish his conversation with Lily until they were alone again. This meant that he could not speak to her for the rest of the train ride, which was coming to it's end.

He did not know what to make of Lily's reaction to what he had told her. She had not appeared especially angry, just surprised - not at all what he expected.

She said nothing as they pulled on their robes and nothing as they exited the train. James and Frank followed Lily and Alice into a carriage and they were soon joined by Sirius, Remus, Vanessa, and Peter. His other friends made the trip more lively, and he was thankful, though he wanted only to have another private moment with Lily.

They entered the Great Hall and made their way to the Gryffindor table. James noticed Lily drawing many stares from the school's male population.

_Not my Lily_, James growled to himself, speeding up to walk between her and the rest of the room. They took their seats and Professor McGonagal brought out the Sorting Hat as the first years filed inside. She set it down and it opened its brim and began to sing.

_Another year begins again,_

_Now I must do my job,_

_Which as you all know is to sort you,_

_Though I now think it may be wrong._

_The Houses that, up until now,_

_Held friends between them all,_

_Have turned against each other,_

_And divided, they will fall. _

_Of course, I'm just a hat you see,_

_So I must do as I'm told,_

_Which means that I shall split you,_

_Between the wise, the just, the sly, the bold._

_But remember this, my warning stands,_

_Trust friends both old and young,_

_Love those outside and in the House._

_My song has now been sung._

The Great Hall burst into applause and McGonagal began calling the terrified looking first years forward.

"What do you suppose that means?" Alice asked, leaning across the table.

Lily was the one who answered, though she kept her eyes on the Sorting. "It means things with You-Know-Who are getting worse. And that we need to keep friendships strong, especially with the," she closed her eyes briefly before continuing. "With the Slytherins. Because if there is really going to be a war, your friends are all you've got."

"And," James said fiercely. "It means we have to trust each other."

_-Two Hours Later- _

"Lily!" James called through the crowd leaving the Great Hall. "_Lily_!"

"What do you want?" she asked over the head of the new Gryffindor first years. "I'm a little busy!"

"I need to talk to you!"

"It's going to have to wait!"

"I can handle this lot, Lily," Remus told her. "Go talk to him."

"But -"

James did not give her a chance to protest. He grabbed her hand and dragged her into an empty classroom. Once inside, Lily stared at him, waiting for what he had to say.

"Listen, Lily, I didn't get a chance to finish before," he began. _Damn, why does she make me so nervous? _"I didn't mean to make you mad or anything if I did. Though I wasn't lying. You've got a lot of flaws, but along with that, there's quite a lot of good."

Lily made to interrupt, but he put a hand over her mouth to stop her.

"Let me say this. There really are a lot of amazing things about you, Lily. You are seriously the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. You care about others, you help people, you're selfless and loving, you're braver than most people I know, you're classy and dignified, you fight for what you think is right, you stand up for people who won't stand up for themselves, you have excellent morals, you have a lovely singing voice, people just love you, chocolate solves all your problems, you humble and nurturing, you're loyal and the truest Gryffindor I've ever met."

Lily was, for once in her life, at a loss for words.

"Lily, love," James said gently, putting a hand on either side of her face and staring into her eyes. "I don't want you to think I'm lying when I tell you how wonderful you are, all right? I know you have flaws, I see them everyday. But you have to realize that, to me at least, your flaws are beautiful."

She opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted by a loud tapping at the classroom door. When James opened it, a Great Grey owl swooped into the room and dropped a letter at Lily's feet.

"Why am I getting mail at this time of night?" she asked as she watched the owl leave. James bent down and picked up the parchment.

"I don't know," he told her as he put it in her hand.

"Dear Miss Evans," Lily read aloud. "Please report to my office immediately. Yours sincerely, Albus Dumbledore."

"That's strange," James muttered when she finished. "Come on, I'll go with you."

"James, I'm perfectly capable of getting to Dumbledore's office on my own."

"I know," James said, holding the door open for her and then leading the way.

He saw Lily roll her eyes, but she followed him nonetheless. They reached the gargoyle that guarded the entrance to the Headmaster's study and stopped. Neither of them knew the password.

"Check the letter, did he say?" James asked.

Lily unfolded the parchment and James read over her shoulder. The previous message had disappeared. In its place was a single word: _gumdrops._

"Gumdrops?" Lily asked the statue. It leapt aside to reveal a spiral staircase.

Lily and James climbed it together and knocked upon reaching the large, golden door.

"Enter," came Dumbledore's voice.

They did so and found him sitting behind his desk, looking rather sad.

"Please, Miss Evans, have a seat," he said, indicating the chair in front of him. "And Mr. Potter, you may stay as well." Dumbledore pulled out his wand and conjured another chair.

"What's this all about, Professor?" James asked, sitting down.

"I am afraid I have some rather dreadful news. There has been another Death Eater attack. Lily, I believe you know a Miss Stella Redwood?"

"She's not -" Lily gasped.

"She is fine, I assure you. Her family, however, is not. Her mother, father, and younger sister were all at home when the Death Eaters arrived. None of them survived."

Lily put a hand to her mouth in horror. "Poor Stella!" she whispered.

"There's more," Dumbledore said quietly.

"What?" James asked, though he figured he probably did not want to know.

"The Evans home was also attacked. Lily, your parents were murdered tonight."

James stared at Lily. Her eyes were wide in shock and a horrified expression seemed carved into her face.

"Pe-Petunia?" she stammered.

"She was not present at the time of the incident. She is fine."

Lily nodded, eyes closed.

"I have arranged a Portkey," Dumbledore said gently, placing an apple on the desk. "It will take you home whenever you are ready. I have a few friends there waiting to meet you. I must ask you to pack your belongings and have them sent back here, your house will continue to be a target. You will not be able to return after tonight." He turned to James. "Mr. Potter, I ask you accompany Miss Evans. She will need a friend. You may both stay as long as you wish and shall be excused from classes tomorrow. I'll leave you to it then. Whenever you are ready, Lily."

He stood up and entered the room behind his desk, softly shutting the door.

James had no idea what to say to Lily. What did you say to someone who had lost their parents and their home? He got up and went to kneel in front of her, gazing up into her eyes. She looked shocked, terrified, and devastated all at the same time. James could feel his heart breaking for her.

"What am I going to do?" she whispered, looking at him as though she were drowning and he was her lifeboat.

He wrapped his arms around her slowly, judging her reaction. She did not pull away, but buried her face in his shoulder, her own arms snaking around his neck.

"I don't know, Lily, love," he told her honestly, pressing his lips to her temple. "All I know is that you won't be alone."

______________________________________

**Told you they would make up soon! Poor Lily though, I feel so bad doing all this to her! But all of this makes her who she is in the end.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!!**

**This is almost definitely my last chapter of the summer, I know I said that like three chapters ago, but this time I really mean it. Updates will probably start coming slower after this, but they will come nonetheless so please don't give up on me, it's just starting to get good. XD**

**Thank you guys so much! Love you all to bits! (:**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_When you're mad, I'll still take the time to call you. Your sweet, tender voice is all I want to hear, even if the words are dreadful._


	21. Horror Within

**Wow, long time no update, sorry guys! I'm back at school and things have been absolutely crazy, please forgive me. (:**

**The apologies don't end there! This chapter is a bit short, though it's necessary and Wendy has not read it yet. Sorry, sorry, sorry!!**

**Anyway, huge thanks to all my wonderful reviewers! This is for you guys! Also, _Dare to Imagine:_ it will get funny again, promise. (: But Lily has to get through this bit first. Thanks for your reviews!**

_Even when you're not sure where you're headed, it helps to know you aren't going alone._

**Chapter Twenty-One: Horror Within**

Lily felt numb. The news of her parents' deaths had not fully sunk in and she felt trapped in a state of frozen disbelief.

_Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. _

The steady chant inside her head was all that kept the young witch from losing it completely. She was not going to cry. Not here, not while James was watching.

He still had his strong arms wrapped around her, rocking the two of them gently back and forth. Lily pushed away from him softly and he took both her hands in his.

"Are you ready?" James whispered.

Lily could only nod, not trusting her mouth to speak coherently around the lump fighting its way out of her throat. He pulled her off the seat and she followed him to Dumbledore's desk where the apple Portkey sat waiting for them.

"You sure?" James asked, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

Lily nodded again and, together, they reached out and took hold of the Portkey.

They spun through light and color until their feet hit the ground and James grabbed her around the waist to keep her from falling, not that she would have noticed if she had.

Lily slowly raised her eyes to see her house, expecting to find it in shambles, but there was nothing about the calm, almost cheery, exterior to suggest the turmoil that lay within. Even the weather seemed to whole heartedly disagree with the situation. The sky was an inky black and thousands of stars glistened overhead, twinkling and winking mockingly down at her. She felt as though the street should be in the midst of a gale, with clouds and rain and wind.

James released her once she was steady and grasped her hand instead, entwining his large, calloused fingers with her smaller, more delicate ones.

"Are you positive about this?"

"Yes," Lily murmured. She took a few deep, steadying breaths and lead him to the door.

"_Stupify_!" a gruff voice yelled from inside.

Lily and James were blasted backwards into the yard and landed on the grass with a painful thump.

- _Step CLUNK Step CLUNK Step CLUNK_ -

A grizzled old wizard limped over the door frame and peered down at Lily and James through mismatched eyes.

"CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" he bellowed, causing both teenagers to jump. "If I hadn't been expecting you, well, never you mind. To business! Evans, what was the password to Dumbledore's office?"

"Gumdrops," Lily answered. She would have been confused at the man's strange appearance and behavior, but the numb feeling was overriding any other emotion.

He nodded. "Potter, what sits on the perch beside Dumbledore's desk?"

"A phoenix," James told him as he helped Lily to her feet. "Why? And who are you?"

"Had to make sure you weren't Death Eaters in disguise," he growled as though it were obvious. "Alastor Moody, Auror."

James and Lily merely nodded and followed him back into the house.

"You two know Hagrid," Moody continued.

The huge gamekeeper let out a grief stricken howl when he saw Lily and James and pulled them into a bone crushing hug.

"Ah, Lil' this is righ' terrible! Yer parents gon' like tha'," he wailed.

"Hagrid, air," they gasped together, faces turning somewhat blue.

"Righ', sorry."

Once back on their feet, Hagrid handed them a few cardboard boxes and blew his nose loudly on an old spotted handkerchief.

"Them is fer yer stuff, Lil'."

James nodded and took them from the giant. "Thanks, Hagrid."

"Where are they?" Lily whispered suddenly.

Moody studied her for a minute with both piercing eyes. "Through here," he growled and led them into the small living room. Mr. and Mrs. Evans lay side-by-side on a blanket on the floor. They looked so peaceful, they might have been asleep.

Lily's walk was shaky as she made her way to her parents and knelt beside them. She reached out a trembling hand and lightly touched her mother's pale, cold cheek and jerked away as the horrible truth finally began sinking in. She stood up hastily and stalked past the three men watching her from the doorway. Working hard to keep her breathing even, Lily all but ran up the stairs and let herself into her bedroom. Only once she had collapsed onto her bed did she allow the tears to freely fall.

- - - - - - -

James stood on the threshold of Lily's bedroom, watching as her small, fragile body racked with sobs. She was in so much pain and here he was doing nothing. Disgusted with himself, James entered the room and cautiously approached Lily.

"Go away," she choked out when he sat down beside her. "I don't want you. This is my problem."

Without thinking about it, James reached out and once more wrapped Lily in his arms. He felt her stiffen and push against his chest with what he guessed was all her strength, but James held on, refusing to let her go. Tears of anger and sadness and pain flowed together down her beautiful face as she tried to break free.

"I don't care if you want me or not, I'm yours either way," James murmured in her ear. "I'm not leaving you."

At that, Lily seemed to lose all resolve. She stopped pushing and collapsed against his chest and cried.

James did not try to shush her, he knew Lily needed to let it out. Instead, he just stroked her hair and rubbed her back for he did not know what to do other than simply show her he was there.

They sat together for a moment, nothing but Lily's sobs breaking the silence. Finally, she took a deep breath and pulled away, studying James's face.

How anyone could cry like that and still look so beautiful, James did not know, but Lily had managed it. He reached up a hand and gently wiped away the remaining tears, Lily flinched slightly at the touch.

"Let's get your stuff," he told her sadly.

She nodded and took one of the boxes to her closet.

"W-will you get the pictures, pl-please?" she asked, her voice hoarse and broken.

"Of course, love."

James began taking the memories off the yellow walls, sighing sadly when he found ones containing Snape and almost smiling when Alice or Vanessa smiled up at him. Lily was so blessed to have to two of them for friends, James wished they were here, they would know what to do.

Once everything in the room was packed neatly away, Moody 'step CLUNK-ed' his way inside.

"I'm going to send this stuff up to the school," he told them gruffly, pulling out his wand. "It'll be there when you get back."

"What about Snuffles?" Lily asked. "Is he -?"

"He's all right."

"You can send him to my place if you like," James said, wanting to be of as much help as he could. "My dad would look after him, he's always wanted a dog."

"Oh, James, I couldn't ask him -"

"Seriously, Lily, he would be thrilled. And Sirius would like that too."

James's best friend had grown quite fond of the shaggy brown dog during their brief stay with Lily over the summer, though he mercilessly taunted the animal's unfortunate name.

Lily looked up at him through red puffy eyes, searching his face for something unknown to James. What she found, he was not sure of, but she nodded and whispered, "thank you."

"I'll have Hagrid take him," Moody growled. "He can explain what happened."

Lily nodded again. "Thank you, sir."

Suddenly, they heard the front door bang open and angry steps rush into the hallway.

"WHERE IS SHE?" Petunia shrieked, the sound reverberating through the tiny little house.

Lily closed her eyes, a pained expression on her face before she squared her shoulders and left the bedroom. "I'm here, Tuney."

"You BITCH!" Petunia screamed when Lily reached the bottom of the stairs. She lunged at her little sister and slapped her across the face with all her might.

"Oi!" James yelled, surprised and furious. He ran to stand in front of Lily before Petunia could strike again.

"MOVE!" Petunia bellowed, a crazed look in her eyes. "THIS IS ALL HER FAULT!"

James felt his jaw drop. "How could you say that?"

"No, James." Lily's voice was soft, almost imperceptible. "She's right."

"What?" James asked, spinning around to face her.

"Tuney's right," Lily whispered. "I'm a Muggleborn, James. That's who the Death Eaters are after. Since they couldn't get to me at Hogwarts they must have come here. This would be just as good in their eyes."

James opened his mouth, about to reassure her in some way that this was not at all her fault when Petunia interrupted.

"See? Even she admits it!"

"That's enough, lass," Moody growled from the staircase.

Petunia looked the grizzled man up and down with a fearful expression before deciding not to argue. Instead, she stalked past Lily and James and stormed up to her bedroom, giving the Auror wide berth.

Lily watched her sister go. James could almost see her heart breaking as he looked into her emerald eyes.

"Come on, darling, let's go," he whispered in her ear. James could feel his own heart being torn in two for Lily.

Lily did not object as he took her hand, waved to Moody and Hagrid, and led her out the door to the Portkey.

They spun to a stop back in Dumbledore's office where the headmaster was waiting for them. He crossed the room slowly and placed a gentle hand on Lily's shoulder.

"I am sorry, Lily," he told her softly, the twinkle in his blue eyes long gone.

Lily merely stared up him.

Dumbledore sighed and spoke slowly, age and wisdom resonating in his voice. "Not even death can separate us from those we love, for love is more powerful than any evil thing in this world. Remember that."

The redheaded witch nodded. "Thank you, professor," she whispered.

Dumbledore nodded and James took Lily's hand once more. He led her from the office and through the corridors of the quiet castle.

"Bubble and squeak," he told the fat lady.

She grumbled something about the lateness of the hour, but swung forward to admit them nonetheless. The common room was deserted save for a cat prowling in a dark corner. James and Lily sat together on one of the couches in front of the smoldering embers of a fire.

James did now know what to say. He merely sat there in silence, rubbing his thumb across the back of Lily's small hand in a slow, calming rhythm, hoping to show her he was there, even if that did not mean much to her. Either way, wanted or not, he would always be there.

_______________________________________

**Yuck, not at all my favorite. Too short, and it's just not very good in my opinion. Better next time, I promise.**

**And it does get happier! There is like one or two more sad chapters before things resume their upbeat and funny rhythm.**

**Please leave me a review!**

**Later, dudes!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_A true friend walks in when the rest of the world walks out._


	22. “Life From the Ashes and All That”

**Hello, loves! I know it's been a while, but school for me has been beyond crazy the past few weeks.**

**_Of Raindrops, Flowers, and Wishing Wells_ hit 200 reviews!! Yay! Mega thanks to _Queenie's Broken Heart, mimimi213, Kuri333, lilyflower102, ZukoLuvahh, RaindropsOnTheRooftop, Hannah In Wonderland, BettyCrocker, hpdreamer500, NutMegg, Kmonae, pinkpearl89, _and_ HGHPlove4ever15_ for being fantastic and getting me there! Love you all to bits!**

**And this chapter is for_ pinkpearl89_, you all need to check out her fic, _Unforgettable_, if you haven't already!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything, if I did, James would be real and we would already have run away together and therefore you would not be reading this. (:**

_It's a good life, unexplainable grace, stumble and you'll fall right into place._

**Chapter Twenty-Two: "Life From the Ashes and All That"**

"Where do you suppose Lily and James disappeared to?" Alice asked brightly as she and Vanessa finished unpacking their things.

Vanessa gave a wary look across the dormitory at Mary and Waverly, who were listening intently to their conversation. "He probably wanted to talk to her about their fight over the summer," she answered in a whisper.

Alice nodded, grave now. If Waverly and Mary caught the first hint of a juicy piece of gossip, by tomorrow, the whole school would think that Lily was pregnant and she and James were running away together. _Okay, _Alice told herself,_ maybe not anything _that_ drastic, but it wouldn't be anything good either._ "I hope she doesn't curse him or anything. He really is sweet, you know, once you get past the arrogance," she whispered back.

Vanessa laughed lightly at this as she rummaged through her bag. "Well, if worse comes to worse, Madam Pomfrey can always fix him up. Shoot, I must have left my book down in the Common Room. I'll be right back."

Alice nodded and began humming to herself as her friend opened the door and made her way down the winding staircase.

When Vanessa reached the bottom, she stopped in her tracks. Lily and James were sitting together on the couch. He was holding her hand and she looked like she had been crying.

"Lily?" she asked, hurrying to her friend's side and glaring at James. "What did you do?"

James looked slightly startled at the accusation, but other than that, he only seemed sad. This worried Vanessa. Potter? Sad? Angry, sure. Or frustrated, maybe. But sad?

"I didn't," he said softly. Lily just sat there, staring into her lap, clearly trying to hold back tears.

"Lily, what's wrong?"

The redhead drew a deep breath, as if preparing herself to walk to the gallows and raised her green eyes to meet Vanessa's brown. "Ness, it's, it's my parents. They – they..."

She could not finish, but she did not need to, Vanessa understood. One hand flew to her mouth in horror and the other clasped Lily's free hand tightly. "How?" her whispered question was directed at James.

"Death Eaters." To say his voice was murderous would be a drastic understatement.

"Why?"

"Why do you think, Ness?" Lily spat, eyes glistening with fresh tears. "Because of me. I'm a bloody Muggleborn! Since they couldn't get to me the Death Eaters attacked them instead."

"No," Vanessa said firmly. "No, no, no, no, no, no. Lily Evans, this is not your fault. Don't you dare blame yourself."

"Oh so you think it was just a coincidence that out of all the Muggles that live around there they just happened to pick my family?"

"But, Lily, Dumbledore said they attacked that other family, too, remember?" James reminded her gently.

Lily's eyes widened. "Stella! I completely forgot! We have to go back, I need to see her! She doesn't have anyone." She rose off the couch, but James pulled her back down.

"Lily, love," he said soothingly. "We'll go tomorrow, all right? Dumbledore gave us the day off. There's no sense in going now."

She nodded. Just then, light footsteps could be heard coming down the staircase.

"Vanessa?" Alice called. "What's taking you so – Lily!" The little blond cut off the question at the sight of her friends. "What happened?" Before they could blink she was kneeling in front of Lily, who looked desperately at James and Vanessa.

Catching on, Vanessa quickly explained the night's events, with James adding a little here and there. Throughout the talk, Alice – emotional as ever – went from confused to sad to angry to fuming in a matter of moments.

"Those horrid, cowardly, sick, vile, pathetic, foul, _evil _monsters!" she ranted, pacing the Common Room.

"Alice," Vanessa said gently. "Calm down, you're going to wake up half the castle."

Still spitting with anger, she rejoined them at the couch. "They're going to pay for this, Lily. This and every other despicable thing they've done. I promise." In the soft orange glow of the fading fire, Alice's beautiful face looked twisted and frightening.

The ghost of a smile flickered across Lily's lips. "I know, Al. We'll see to that. But right now isn't the time."

"If I was a Death Eater or anything like one I would certainly fear your wrath, Alice," James only half-joked, but it was enough to lighten the mood slightly.

Alice blushed and calmed down. "Do you want to go upstairs, Lily? I'm sure Mary and Waverly are asleep by now."

"Okay," Lily nodded. She turned to James. "Thank you. Really. I know I didn't want you to go with me, but I'm glad you did."

"Anytime, love." He kissed the back of her fingers ever so softly and watched Alice and Vanessa lead her up the stairs.

- - - - - - -

James waited almost twenty minutes, wanting to be sure they had gone to sleep, before following the girls up to their dormitory. He was careful to jump the trick step – the one that recognized gender – and let himself into their room.

The hangings around all five beds were drawn shut, but it was easy to guess which one was Lily's. Small, weak sobs emitted from the bed in the center and James quietly made his way to it.

"Lily?" he whispered through the curtains.

The sobs stopped abruptly and the hangings drew back slightly. Green eyes rimmed in red appeared, sparkling with tears and moonlight. "How did you get in here?" she breathed.

"Trick step," he explained off-handedly. "This is a bloody awful question, but are you all right?"

"I'm fine," Lily told him. She seemed to struggle with something before opening the curtains a little wider so she could sit on the edge of the bed. "Okay, I'm not fine. I feel like someone's just dragged me through Hell and back to be honest."

She was wearing only a thin t-shirt and cotton shorts and James could really see how thin she had gotten. Her knees were far too bony and her shirt, which would have fit her before, was now too big. James cringed internally, still dead set on making Pearson pay.

"Lily, you _have_ been through Hell and back over the last few months," James told her as he conjured a wooden chair so he could sit across from her. "And part of it was my fault -"

"No," Lily cut him off. "No, it wasn't. I was just angry with Greg and then you just happened to be there and I took everything out on you. I'm so sorry, James." Her eyes were welling up again.

"No, no, Lily, love. Please don't cry. At least, not about that. You had every reason to be angry with me," James pleaded, taking both her hands in his.

"No, I didn't. Stop that."

"Stop what?" James asked, thoroughly baffled.

"Stop being so nice to me! How am I ever supposed to forgive myself for being awful to you when you can't even be awful back?"

James chuckled softly. "I could never be awful to you, Lily."

"I _know,_ that's the problem," she groaned.

James smiled inwardly. As long as Lily was angry with him, she did not have to concentrate on the death of her parents. Or Pearson or Snivillus, for that matter. "Well, you can worry about that in the morning. You need to go to sleep now, all right, love? I'll be right here," he added, giving her frail hand a squeeze. "In case you need me."

Lily raised a tired eyebrow. "James, you can't sleep on a chair."

"Who said anything about sleeping? Besides, it's not like I'm going to get into bed with you." A ghost of that old cocky grin played across his lips.

"_What?_" Lily exclaimed in a whisper. "That's not what I meant -"

"I know, Lily," James chuckled. "I know you're not a – a scarlet woman or anything. I'm just messing with you. Now sleep."

"But -"

"No buts," James told her. Lily huffed an angry breath but crawled back under the covers nonetheless. "There's a good girl."

Lily gave him one last withering look before shutting her bloodshot eyes and snuggling into her pillow. James kept one of her small hands between his own larger ones, rubbing gentle circles as he had when they were sitting in the Common Room together, trying to relax her into sleep.

- - - - - - -

Trying to keep dreadful thoughts of her parents at bay, Lily focused instead on the young man sitting next to her. Maybe Remus was right, Lily thought, as a conversation over coffee and History of Magic notes flooded her memory.

"_Look, you can't live your whole life scared of the 'what ifs'. I mean, all of your current, safe boundaries were once way out of your comfort zone, right? You just have to keep stepping outside of it. Your friends will be right behind you. And Vanessa will too, if you give her the chance," she had told Remus._

_He smiled. "I'll think about it. Though I can hardly fail to notice that you sit here giving me relationship advice while you have turned down your perfect match more times than anyone could count."_

"_It's completely different." Lily said, crossing her arms._

_Remus raised an eyebrow. "How so?"_

"_You're afraid of rejection, and afraid to hurt someone you care about. James Potter, on the other hand, is an immature, arrogant toe rag."_

"_Lily, you've been telling yourself that for five years. Did you ever consider the fact that he's changed and you've forced yourself to turn a blind eye to it?"_

Was that true? _ Had_ she been turning a blind eye to all that James was becoming? All he was changing? All he was doing for her? He might not have become a saint, but he was growing up. Another, not-so-pleasant conversation came to mind.

"_Do you really think I would fall for the old Potter? The one who used to strut around and hex everyone in sight? I never needed to to tell me how awful he was, but he's changed, Sev, he really has."_

"_I doubt that," he scoffed._

"_You know what?" Lily growled, tears brimming in her eyes. "I think you're just jealous!"_

"_Jealous?" Severus spat. "Of what?"_

"_Jealous that James Potter is capable of change, where you are not! I asked him to change and he did, for _me_, Sev! He changed so I would be his friend, something that you are not willing to do!"_

She squeezed her eyes tighter, she did not want to think about Severus, it only added to the pain. Her words to him – though spoken out of anger – were correct. James Potter was willing to do everything in his power to earn her friendship where Sev, who had had it all along, had seemingly thrown it away.

"_I'm just trying to figure this guy out. I mean, he threw away a chance with you. I've been trying to get that for five years now, it's not something I would be able to walk away from." _

James had told her that earlier that day, or was it yesterday by now? Either way she had brushed the comment aside as another lie, but thinking back, maybe he truly was not lying. Maybe he honestly wanted a chance with her. He had made that comment about not getting into bed with her. It might have been intended as a joke, but it made Lily realize that James really would never take advantage of her. Here she was, as weak as she would ever be, and he sat in a hard wooden chair – with no intent of sleeping at all – trying only to comfort her.

"James?" she asked quietly.

"Yes, love?"

Lily took a deep breath, and – with it – a huge leap of faith. "I'm ready to be your friend."

She opened her eyes to see his reaction to these words. His jaw had all but hit the floor and his eyes looked ready to jump from his skull.

"Are you sure?" he whispered, and – even after everything that had happened – Lily had to laugh.

"Yes. I'm positive. I think you earned it."

James grinned down at her. It was that smile, so unlike it's cocky alter ego, that he saved only for Lily. No one else in the world could make him look quite so happy, quite so loving, or quite so at home.

- - - - - - -

James could have danced, he could have sang, he could even have kissed Sirius he was so happy, though he held it in until Lily's eyelids fluttered closed and her breathing evened out. At that point, he let go of her hand and jumped around the dormitory, silently screaming with joy. Lily, _Lily Evans_, had just told him she would be his friend. He pinched himself hard to confirm that he was not dreaming and resumed his little one man dance party. Admittedly, it had come out of a horrible loss on her part, _but life from the ashes and all that, right?_ He told himself.

Once his heartbeat returned to a pace a normal human would be comfortable with, he sat back down beside Lily's bed and took her hand again. He did not know it was possible to care so much for one person, but Lily had filled his heart to overflowing and even then some, and now it felt even bigger.

_I wonder if this is what love is?_ James thought, staring into her sleeping face. He had never really seen true love. There were his parents, of course, but they were usually too occupied with guests and parties to show a great deal of love for each other. _If anything in the world is love, surely it's what I feel for Lily._

James let out an astonished breath as this thought actually sank in. He, James Potter, was in love. He could not tell Lily this, of course, at least not anytime soon. He would not do anything to scare her away now that he had finally broken through the strong steel walls that she had built up around herself. No, there was no chance in Hell that he was messing this up.

- - - - - - -

Lily woke the next morning with a dreadful headache. She kept her eyes shut tight and prayed to God, to Merlin, to anyone who would listen, that the events of the day before had all been a dream, some terrible nightmare. But when she felt the slight pressure on her right hand, she knew that it was all very real. Her parents were dead, and her sister – quite correctly – blamed Lily.

She allowed her eyes to open and flinched slightly when they were stung by the light of sun streaming through the window of the dormitory.

"Here," James said softly. He placed the tip of his wand to her forehead, muttered a few choice words, and the pain eased itself into oblivion.

"Thanks," she said, and almost groaned. Her voice was weak and hoarse from crying. She sounded awful.

"You were right, you know," James said off-handedly.

"'Course I was," Lily croaked automatically. "About what?"

James chuckled softly. "You drool."

Lily knew he was trying to distract her, to help her think of anything but the pain in her heart. She was grateful, but not sure it would work. She would liked to have stayed in bed all day long, curled up under the covers and clinging desperately to James' hand, but that was not feasible. She had to face the day. Throwing off her blanket, she went to her trunk and grabbed the same clothes she had worn the day before.

"I'm going to take a shower," she told James quietly, so as not to wake the other girls. "Then can we go see Stella?"

"Of course, darling. I'll be right here when you get back."

Lily nodded and made her way into the bathroom, where she stripped down and got in the shower. The hot, steamy water felt so good, it relaxed her tense muscles and washed the dried salt water off her face. She was almost done when it hit her again – the wall of pain she had been fighting. Lily stood there with the water pouring down on her and once more began to sob. She cried for the loss of her parents, for the loss of Stella's family, for Tuney, for Sev, for all that Greg did to her, and for the war on the horizon. It was so much for a 16 year old to have to deal with, but deal with it she must. She scrubbed her face one last time and turned off the water.

_I've got to be strong,_ she told herself firmly. _Everything happens for a reason, you can handle this._

And maybe it _had _happened for a reason. She and James were friends because of it, and who knew where that might lead? It could be any of a number of things, but Lily was determined to find a reason, to make their deaths mean more than just the outcome of someone's ungrounded hatred.

"Brave face, Lily," she said to her reflection after she had gotten dressed. "You can do this. Do it for Stella."

She took a deep breath and opened the bathroom door.

As could have been expected, Alice and Vanessa were waiting just on the other side.

"James told us," Alice blurted out. "About you guys being friends. Maybe some good has come out of this?"

Lily gave the little blond witch a small smile. "You read my mind, Al. And it's okay, really. I can get through this. Maybe it won't be sunshine and daisies at first, but I know that I can't let myself drown in this. I have to go through it to get to the end."

"Lily, you don't have to always be the strong one, you know," Vanessa told her, looking worried, yet impressed. "If you need to talk, or cry, or anything, we're both here."

"I know, Ness. But I need to be. Better to be strong than break down completely."

"If you say so," Vanessa said, not looking entirely convinced as Lily walked over to the vanity.

"You guys do enough of the worrying," she tried to joke. _As long as I'm occupied, I won't have to think about it._

She was reaching for her makeup bag when a strong steady hand stopped her. "Don't," James said. "You really don't need it."

"I'm a mess! Come on, James, I said you were my friend, not my beauty consultant."

He gave her a skeptical look, but let go. "Not much, please?"

Lily stared at him for a moment and sighed. "Not much."

"We're going down to breakfast, Lily," Alice said when she emerged from the bathroom dressed and ready for the day. "We're going to talk to the boys, tell them what happened. Do you want us to wait for you?"

"No," Lily's voice broke so she stopped to take a steadying breath. "No. You two go on, and please try not to worry about me."

This request was directed at Vanessa, who was much more reasonable than Alice in emotional situations. The brunette nodded sadly and the two of them left the room.

"We'd better go soon, before Mary and Waverly wake up," Lily said to James. "I don't even want to imagine the rumors they would start if they knew you were hear."

"I'm ready, I went back and brushed my teeth and all that while you were in the shower." He picked up Lily's bag and returned to her side.

"But not your hair, I take it?" she asked.

He ran a hand through his jet black locks, making it even messier than before. "Better?"

"Not even close."

James smiled down at her. "You ready to go?"

Lily took another deep breath and nodded. If she had to face the world, there were few people in it she would rather have beside her than James Potter, even if it had taken her five years to figure it out.

- - - - - - -

When James and Lily reached the Great Hall, he felt her freeze beside him. He turned to see her staring across the room at where Alice and Vanessa sat with Frank and the Marauders, heads together and solemn looks on their faces.

"Okay," she said softly. "I know I said I could do this, but now that I'm here – I don't think I can. I just, I can't listen to it again."

James knew how much it had taken for Lily to admit weakness like that, so he took her hand and led to and empty classroom off the Hall. He took her inside, sat her on a desk and bent so they were eye-level. "Do you want me to go get you anything?"

"No thank you. I'm not really hungry. You go though, I'll just wait here."

"Lily Claire Evans," James said slowly. "You would have to be out of your mind to even think for one second that I would leave you like this."

"Then call me crazy, James, but you need to eat," her voice had grown a little stronger.

"So do you. You were already wasting away, you need to eat every chance you get." He pulled her sleeve up and showed Lily her own wrist, which was merely skin and bone.

"I'm fine."

He stared at her in disbelief. "Lily, we're friends now, and as your friend, I'm telling you that you need to eat something. Come on, we can go down to the kitchens, then at least you don't have to sit with the others just yet."

Lily laughed. It came out weak, hoarse, and somewhat strangled, but it was a laugh nonetheless. "I don't know about this friendship, James, both of us being as stubborn as we are. But I suppose I can give you this one thing."

James grinned at her and pulled her from the desk. "You know, Lily," he said as he led her out of the classroom. "I'm going to help you get through this, we all are."

"Which is the only thing keeping me sane," Lily told him seriously. "I really don't have any regrets about choosing to be your friend."

James could have spun her in the air and kissed her until she could not see straight. He did not, for obvious reasons, but in the midst of so much tragedy, his wildest dream was coming true.

________________________________________

**Sooooooo? What'd you think?**

**Please please please review! I know it's been a while, but I still really love them!**

**And tell me which supporting characters you want to see more of!**

**And sorry for any errors, please let me know if you catch any!**

**No clue when the next one will be out so bear with me.**

**Love you all to bits, and keep on rockin'!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. _


	23. New Developments

**Hey guys! Chapter Twenty-Three is here!! And GOOD NEWS! I'm about to get my laptop so updates will come like a bazillion times faster after that! YAY!**

**Also, I want to thank my wonderful reviewers: _ZukoLuvahh, ivyflightislistening, Marteczka's Quill, Tigerlily, RaindropsOnTheRooftop, SecretlyAGryffindor, Hannah In Wonderland, .., pinkpearl89, _and_ StarViky_!  
**

**Disclaimer: No, sadly I am not JKR, and even with all the plastic surgery in the world, they could never give me as brilliant a mind as hers.**

**OH! And I want to clarify POV for this chapter, just to make sure you follow.**

**1****st**** Section: James**

**2****nd****: Vanessa**

**3****rd****: Alice**

**4****th****: James**

**5****th****: Vanessa**

**6****th****: Lily**

**7****th****: James**

**8****th****: Lily**

**Yes, there is more Vanessa in this one, I've totally fallen in love with her character and so I keep putting her in there.**

_And the worst part is before it gets any better we're headed for a cliff, and in the_

_free fall I will realize that I'm better off when I hit the bottom._

**Chapter Twenty-Three: New Developments**

"Lily, I am afraid to inform you that there has been a... new development," Professor Dumbledore said sadly. He sat behind his large wooden desk with the tips of his long fingers pressed together as he looked at Lily and James through his half-moon spectacles.

They had come to his office immediately after eating to request a visit to Stella. As James looked around the large, circular room, he noticed something amiss. Cups of tea and plates of half eaten biscuits were scattered about the room, and Fawkes the Phoenix did not sit on his perch. The tinkling silver instruments that covered much of the available table space were whirling and humming faster than he had ever seen them. It appeared as if there had been some sort of meeting.

Lily closed her eyes, a pained expression on her face and James new she was imagining the worst. "What do you mean, sir?" she asked in a shaky voice.

"The two of you will not be able to see Miss Redwood today."

"She's not..." Lily whispered.

"She is alive," Dumbledore said, but something in his voice told James that maybe alive was not the best state for her at the moment.

With a growing sense of dread, he prompted, "then why...?"

"Mr. Potter, Miss Evans, Stella Redwood has been captured," Dumbledore paused, surveying them over his crooked nose. "We believe it to be the work of Lord Voldemort's followers."

"Death Eaters," Lily breathed, gripping the back of the chair she was standing behind so hard her knuckles turned white. "But _why_?"

Dumbledore's blue eyes lost their sparkle. "We are not yet aware of the reasoning behind their actions. It is not clear if they are following orders, or merely acting of their own accord."

"You have people looking for her though, right?" James asked. He might never have met Stella personally, but he knew what she had done for Lily, and he was grateful to the mysterious blond.

"Naturally, Mr. Potter." James knew the headmaster could hear the impatience in his voice, but Dumbledore's own remained calm. "I have Alastor organizing a team of Aurors as we speak, but there has been no word thus far as to where the Death Eaters might have taken her."

"How did they even get her?"

"That, Miss Evans, is yet another thing we are unsure of. All we know is they took her early this morning as she was returning to school."

Lily just nodded, her face sick with worry, and walked over to lean on the window frame to watch the rain that had been pouring from the sky all morning. Not for the first time in the last few days, James felt his heart breaking for her.

"Sir, is there anything we can do?"

"I am afraid not, Mr. Potter," Dumbledore told him. "However, I will inform you as soon as there is any word."

"Thank you, professor," James said as he joined Lily at the window. She had her forehead pressed to the cold glass and stared into the dark grey sky without really seeing it.

"Of course, now, if you do not mind, Miss Evans, I would like a private word with Mr. Potter."

James opened his mouth to protest, but Lily cut him off. "It's fine, James, I'll wait outside." Her voice was broken, but she tried to give him a small reassuring smile, before leaving the office.

Once the door had closed behind her, James turned back to face his headmaster.

"I am trusting that you will take care of her?"

James, though slightly taken aback by this question, had to smile. "Honestly, sir, she can take care of herself. But yes, I'll do everything I can."

Dumbledore smiled again, blue eyes twinkling once more. "Very good." He paused for a minute as he glanced around the room and looked like he wanted to say more, but stopped himself. "That is all, Mr. Potter."

"Thank you, professor," James said before joining Lily on the spiral staircase.

- - - - - - -

As the day wore on, Vanessa became more and more aggravated. Whispered followed Alice, the Marauders, and herself everywhere they went. People contemplated the whereabouts of James and Lily, if they were together, why their friends were all together, why Lily had lost so much weight, and a million other things that Vanessa thought they should not be worried about.

"Honestly," she spat as they joined the Slytherins outside the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. "You'd think people would have better things to talk about."

"Sometimes," Remus said, shaking his head in a disappointed sort of way. "I think that most people's idea of Hell is a place where everyone is forced to mind their own business."

Vanessa smiled slightly. _How is it that he does that? _ "I don't doubt that for a minute."

"Well, you know how it goes," Alice said. "Lily and James will be the center of everything for a day or so, but then something else will come along and then no one will think twice about them."

"Just as long as no one finds out about her parents," Sirius whispered. "She would never hear the end of it."

The others nodded gravely. "Some people!" Vanessa exclaimed angrily. "They just don't think, do they? They spend all their time worrying about who did what that they don't even realize that they're hurting people in the process! And poor Lily," she went on, dropping her voice as some of the Slytherin girls turned to see what the fuss was all about. "I know she's strong, but so much has already happened to her. She doesn't need all this gossip, too."

"Well," Sirius said, a grin twisting on his face. "Maybe the Marauders will just have to do something worth talking about."

Vanessa smiled back. Maybe one of their crazy pranks was not the _best _way to solve this, but at least he was trying.

"You know what I heard?" The high-pitched drawl of Constance Malfoy, Lucius' cousin, carried across the corridor. He little gang of Slytherin girls listened avidly. "I heard that Potter said he would start dating other girls again unless Lily lost weight. She loved the attention too much and gave in."

"Okay," Vanessa said, rounding on the now giggling girls. "That is it!"

They looked at her, startled. Vanessa was not usually one to pick fights, but when it came to Lily or Alice, she was no pacifist.

"You know that's a lie!" she yelled, mere inches from Constance's face. "Lily would never change for anyone! Did it ever cross that thick mind of yours that Lily's sick in bed? And you know that James skips classes all the time. I would bet every knut in my Gringotts vault that he's out practicing some new Quidditch stunt. So since you clearly have no idea what you're talking about, I would advise you to keep that fat mouth shut!"

"What, Reese? Jealous that Lily's the one that everyone likes? Wanting some of James' attention for yourself?" Constance sneered.

"I don't care what you say about me, Malfoy," Vanessa hissed. "But if you ever so much as mention Lily's name again I swear you won't even be able to look at me without wetting yourself." With that, she turned on her heel and stormed back across the hall to her friends.

"You're probably going to regret that," Remus said, studying the Slytherins' mutinous faces. "It was brilliant, of course, but I doubt they'll just sit back and take it."

Vanessa's stomach flip-flopped at the compliment, she pushed those feelings aside and opened her mouth to reply when a low whistle from behind cut her off. She spun around to see a handsome young man – 25 at the most – leaning against the door frame of the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. He had blond hair that fell messily into startlingly blue eyes and his form was just short of a body builder.

"That was _fierce!_" he said, clearly impressed. "I can't wait to see more of that in my class, Miss...?"

"Reese," Vanessa answered warily.

"Miss Reese," he repeated, flashing her a dazzling smile and bringing her hand to his lips.

"Whoa, hold on there. _You're_ the new Defense teacher?" Sirius asked, as he and Remus casually stepped between him and a startled Vanessa. Horror and disbelief were fighting for dominance on Sirius' face.

"Yes, Mr...?"

"Black," Sirius growled. Vanessa knew he hated having to admit this fact.

"Black, then. Dumbledore thought you lot ought to have someone fresh out of Auror training." His chest swelled with pride.

"You'd think he wanted his shirt to rip," Alice whispered to Vanessa, who giggled.

"At a time like this? You're too young! There's a war coming!" Sirius challenged. "Frankly, I want someone with a bit more experience."

The man's eyes narrowed coldly. "Sorry to disappoint you, Mr. _Black_. Though I would have assumed with a family like yours, this class would hardly be significant."

It took the combined strength – and quick reflexes – of Remus, Peter, Alice, and Vanessa to keep Sirius from attacking the bloke right there in the hallway.

"Anyone willing to strike that low isn't even worth the effort," Alice hissed at Sirius, who stopped struggling.

_Thank Merlin for Alice,_ Vanessa thought, letting go of the back of his robes. "Come on, Sirius, save your strength for the class. Better revenge would be doing exceptionally well and proving his preconceived notion of you completely false."

"Whatever," Sirius growled and led the way into the classroom, choosing a seat right next to the door. The others sat with him while the Slytherins made their way across the room, toward the professor, something they had never had any inclination to do before.

Vanessa looked around the room. It consisted of the same stone walls that it had always had, but they looked nothing like they had under previous owners. Band posters littered the walls, broken up by charts and diagrams of the effects of Dark spells. The tables were arranged haphazardly, and there seemed to be no distinct front to the room, for there were chalkboards on every wall. There were no shelves, instead, books were piled from floor to ceiling in every corner of the room and the blue mats that once laid on the floor now covered parts of the walls.

The man made his way to the center of the room and looked around at the students. "I am Professor Duncan Perry, though I would much prefer if you called me Duncan, all that "Professor" nonsense is too formal for me." He looked pointedly at Vanessa as he said this and winked.

"What a complete _pig,_" Alice whispered, disgusted.

Duncan moved to stand directly in front of her and Vanessa, an almost greedy look in his blue eyes. "Sorry, I didn't catch that, Miss...?"

"Hinton," Alice replied coldly, sub-consciously making sure he could not see down the front of her shirt. "And just be glad you didn't catch it."

Any other teacher would have put her in detention for saying something like that, but Duncan Perry grinned broadly. "These Gryffindor women sure are fiery," he said, giving them another wink.

"Just wait until he meets Lily," Peter muttered, earning laughs from the others.

"That is, if James lets him anywhere near her," Remus added, glaring daggers into the back of Perry's skull.

"Hey, Remus, looks can't _actually_ kill, you know," Alice told him and raised an eyebrow at Vanessa, who blushed.

_Was he glaring like that because of how Duncan's treating _me_? Not just at his disgusting personality?_ She thought as a blush crept into Remus' cheeks as well and he gave her a small smile. Maybe there was reason to hope after all.

- - - - - - -

When Alice, Vanessa, and the Marauders entered the Great Hall for lunch that day, the enchanted ceiling had grown even darker. Rain came down in buckets and the candles that floated above the house tables – usually lit only for dinner – were ablaze. They made there way to the end of the Hall and were surprised to find Lily and James sitting alone at the end of the long Gryffindor table.

"I thought you were going to see Stella today," Alice said as she took a seat beside Lily and began loading her plate with mashed potatoes. _Please tell me nothing else has happened, _she thought desperately. The redhead just shook her head sadly.

"What's going on?" Sirius asked, having to yell over a crash of thunder that reverberated throughout the entire Hall.

Lily and James exchanged a look before quickly retelling the story – or lack thereof.

"But why?" Alice asked, horror-struck. "Why would they want to capture her? It's not like she would be any good to them."

"They don't know, Al," Lily said, pushing her food around on her plate. "They don't really know much of anything yet."

All of a sudden, Alice was not hungry anymore either. She pushed her plate away, disgusted with the war, the Death Eaters, everything.

James reached across the table and gave Lily's hand a reassuring squeeze. "They'll find her. They have to."

She gave a weak smile that did not reach her eyes. "Can we talk about something else, please?"

And it was Alice to the rescue. "The new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is a total creep!" she exclaimed. She had been wanting to say this all along, but restrained herself. "He kept winking at us. And he called Ness "fierce" and told me I was "fiery" when I _insulted him_, Lily! I swear, if the boys hadn't of been there he might have just jumped on us!"

"Yeah," Vanessa continued, as if on cue. "He kept ogling at us through the whole class and he talked to our chests more than to our faces! _And_ he asked us to call him Duncan, _his first name_! No professor does that!"

"He's only 25 or so," Remus added, disgust evident in his voice. "He said he just got out of Auror training, but he wastes so much time flirting that we probably aren't going to learn much of anything."

"How could Dumbledore do that?" James asked furiously. "There's a war coming, we need all the help we can get!"

"That's exactly what I said. And you know what he did? He told me that with my family history he didn't even think I would be interested in Defense."

"You're joking," James and Lily said in unison, jaws dropping.

"Not at all," Sirius said angrily.

"Well, maybe he was just nervous?" Lily reasoned. "It was his first day, and if he's really only 25 then being in a classroom full of students might have been really intimidating."

Alice rolled her eyes and shook her head. "How is it that you always try to see good in everyone, even when we're telling you that they're completely awful?"

Lily blushed faintly. "Come on, Al, you know that isn't always true, but he can't be _that _bad, can he?"

"You haven't met him," Vanessa told her.

"On the bright side," Peter piped up. "Now maybe everyone will be talking about him instead of Lily and James!"

Sirius rolled his eyes and slapped the smaller boy in the back of the head. "We were trying not to tell them about that you prat."

Lily shook her head. "No, we heard. As soon as we walked in everyone got so quiet you could have heard a pin drop, and then they practically exploded.

"And you know what they're saying, Miss Reese?" James asked, cocking an eyebrow in Vanessa's direction.

"What?" she replied. "That I am madly in love with you?"

"So it's true!" James joked. "I always wondered…"

"Yes, James, you're so irresistible, I just can't help myself," Vanessa told him sarcastically.

"Isn't he though?" Sirius added, making goo-goo eyes at James.

The three of them looked at each other for a moment before bursting out laughing and were soon joined by the others, even Lily managed a weak giggle. There was another crack of thunder overhead and the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. The six friends stood and walked to the Entrance Hall together, where they parted ways. James and Lily headed up to the Common Room, Vanessa and Remus to Herbology, and Alice, Sirius, and Peter to Muggle Studies.

- - - - - - -

James and Lily entered the Common Room to find it empty save for a few seventh years who had their free period.

"Hey, how about a game of chess?" James asked, trying to help keep Lily in the content mood her friends had left her with.

She gave him a small smile and went over to one of the low tables, where she sat on the floor and Summoned James' wizard chess set.

"Thank you, by the way," she told him as he began to set the board. "You've been wonderful about all of this."

"What are friends for?" James said, savoring the fact that he could say that knowing they were actually friends.

"You know, James, you've changed. You really aren't that little boy I used to hate so much."

James chuckled. "I'll take that as a good thing?"

"Definitely. I'm sorry I didn't give you a chance before now."

"Maybe I've only recently grown up," he suggested, running a hand through his hair.

Lily actually laughed a little when he did this. "I guess there are some things you don't grow out of, though."

- - - - - - -

Remus and Vanessa made their way across the muddy lawn down to the greenhouses. The rain was still coming down in full-force, and they were soaked to the skin before they had even gotten halfway there.

"Rain, rain, go away," Vanessa chanted halfheartedly and slipped in a particularly muddy patch of ground. "You know, the mud is actually quite soft," she said, looking up at Remus from where she sat in the grass; he laughed.

"No broken bones then?" He reached a hand down to help her up, which she took gratefully.

"Not that I'm aware of."

They slipped and stumbled for a few more minutes before Remus caught her arm, stopping her in her tracks.

"Is something wrong?" Vanessa asked, turning to face him, though through the rain, it was hard to make out his features.

"Vanessa, do you remember that conversation we had on the train?" he asked, cheeks going red.

She felt her heartbeat quicken and wondered if Remus, who still had a hand on her arm, could feel it too. "Of course."

"I thought about it, like I told you I would," he hesitated.

"And…" she prompted, unsure if she wanted to know the answer.

He took a deep breath and a step closer. "And, Ness, I didn't like it. All I want is to go out with you, but there's this nagging voice in the back of my head telling me that you will only end up getting hurt."

"What if I don't care?" Vanessa asked defiantly.

"_I _care, though. I can't do that to you."

"Remus, please give it a chance. What about James, Sirius, and Peter? They're your best friends, and you haven't hurt them!"

A pained expression crossed his face. "You don't know that."

"What do you mean?" she asked, the boys were so close, what could he have done to them?

"I can't tell you that, Ness. I'm sorry, but it's their secret, not mine."

She looked up into his grey eyes, a perfect match to the shy above them, and nodded. "But they're still your friends, Rem. I mean, no relationship is perfect, people get hurt all the time. But you have to be willing to take that risk."

"But in this case it's too much of a risk."

"With greater risk comes greater reward."

"And greater pain, don't forget."

Vanessa let out an impatient breath and the wet hair out of her face. "Then we set rules, Remus! I won't be around you on the nights of full moon, I won't even go outside if that would make you feel better."

"But, Vanessa, that's not the only problem here," Remus said quietly.

"What else is there?" he asked, racking her brain for an answer.

Now Remus looked embarrassed. "I, I can't treat you the way you deserve to be treated, I can't give you nice things or take you fancy places. I just don't have that kind of money."

Vanessa laughed. It was not harsh or condescending; it was relieved. "Is that what this is about? Remus, I don't need all that. Honestly, do you think I'm that shallow?"

"No, of course not, but I still think you deserve to have those things."

"I don't care about what I deserve!" she told him, smiling in disbelief at his stubbornness. "I want _you_, Remus, werewolf and all."

"You can't mean that."

"I do. Give it a chance, Rem, please?"

She could almost see his defenses crumbling as she took his hand. He took another deep breath and sighed, studying her face.

"You swear you'll stay in the castle every full moon?"

Vanessa felt her jaw drop. She had done it, he was serious. "Yes!" she exclaimed.

Remus smiled in spite of himself. "Then, Vanessa, would you like to be my girlfriend?"

She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his chest. "I thought you'd never ask."

He put his own arms around her and she savored his warmth in the cold, stormy weather. He ran his hand up and down her back for a moment before saying, "Come on, Ness, we're about to be late."

She stood on her toes to kiss him on the cheek, making him blush slightly. "Thank you."

He took her hand in his and they walked through the rain toward the greenhouses on the edge of the Forbidden Forest.

- - - - - - -

After playing countless games of chess and winning almost every time, Lily was content to simply sit on one of the sofas in the Common Room in front of the fire. So much had happened in such a short span of time, she felt like her mind would rather just shut down than try to process everything. She was so glad that James was there, even though a few days ago she would have laughed at herself for thinking such a thing. He always knew exactly what to say and do. He was currently on his way to the kitchen to get her a cup of tea. She had not even asked, or made any kind of hint that that was what she wanted, he just _knew_.

- - - - - - -

"Potter, hey, Potter!"

James spun on the spot, looking for the greasy owner of that familiar voice. He spotted Snape standing behind a suit of armor, beckoning him over. James took his wand from his back pocket and approached slowly.

"What do you want, Snivellus?" he asked, keeping a good distance between the two of them.

"You'll have to come closer," he sneered. "I can't be seen talking to you."

James scoffed. "And what makes you think I'm going to believe you? Surely you can't think I'm that thick?"

"Well, you'd be surprised. I never knew I could think so low of anyone, then I met you." He looked as if he wanted to add more, but stopped himself. "But that isn't the point. It's about Lily."

James inched closer despite himself. "How do I know you're telling the truth?"

"Look, Potter, I know about her parents and I know about her friend."

_He can't! We only just found out_! "What? But how?"

"Overheard some people talking, but that's really none of your business. I'm only telling you this because she doesn't trust me anymore, and she might listen to you."

"Why don't you just talk to Alice or Vanessa? At least you don't have a burning desire to murder _them_ in their sleep."

"True, but this," he dropped his voice lower and James was forced to join him behind the armor. "This is about her safety. I'm trusting you to keep her safe, do you understand that?"

James could have sworn he felt his jaw hit the floor. Snape, _Snivellus_, trusting _him_? "What are you playing at? Why would you trust me?"

Snape's face dropped slightly and James could see the pain in his eyes. "I – I've seen the way you look at her," he admitted. "It's not the same as the others, the ones who only like her because of her looks. With the way she looks now, they've all been looking at her like she's some kind of angel or something, but you… you've always looked at her like that."

James just stood there, he did not know what to say. Luckily, Snape continued.

"Anyway, I know why they took her friend, Redwind, or whatever,"

"Wood, Redwood."

"Yes, her. Listen, Potter, the Death Eaters took her because they know Lily, they know that she'll do everything she can to find her friend. They're just baiting her."

"Baiting her for what?"

Snape shook his head. "I don't know. All I know is that you can't let Lily go after her."

James nodded. "Well, er, thanks. I think."

"Don't thank me," Snape spat. "I didn't do it for you. You can still rot in Hell for all I care. I only did it for Lily."

James almost smiled. "Good to know this doesn't change anything between us, Snivellus."

"Likewise, Potter."

Then they went about their business as if the strangest of all the past few days' events had not happened at all.

- - - - - - -

"Jasmine's your favorite, right?" James asked as he handed Lily her tea.

She nodded and smiled at him. "How did you – actually, I won't even ask. But you never cease to surprise me."

"I try," James told her, taking a blanket off the back of a chair and draping it over her. "How are you?"

_That was sweet._ "I'm surviving," she answered honestly. "I can't say much more than that."

James sat down beside her. He hesitated for a moement and put an arm around her shoulders, which she gratefully leaned into.

"I keep telling myself it's going to get better," Lily went on. "But so far, things are just getting steadily worse."

"I know, love," James whispered. "You have to go through it to get to the end of it. But at least you don't have to go through it alone."

"At least I don't have to go through it alone," she repeated, taking a sip of her tea. "And neither does Stella. I have to find her, James."

She felt him tense beside her. "Lily, I think we should leave that to the Aurors. I mean, we're 16, there isn't a lot we can do against Death Eaters."

Lily leaned away from him slightly so that she could see his face. "This coming from James Always-Looking-For-A-Fight Potter? I thought you wanted to fight the Death Eaters."

She watched him struggle for a moment as he tried to come up with the right words. Finally, he took a deep breath and said, "I do want to fight, but this isn't about me, Lily. I can't let you get hurt."

"Are you saying I'm not capable of protecting myself?" Lily asked, an echo of their long-ago battles of wit hanging on her lips.

"No, not at all, but Lily, I don't think you understand, if anything ever happened to you…"

"You know, James, I'm learning that life goes on," she said quietly as she drank more of her tea.

He gave her a sad smile. "It wouldn't for me, believe me. I'm not anywhere near as strong as you are. If all of this had happened to me, I would be in bed about ready to die, but here you are, facing the world."

"You have no idea how many times I've wanted to just curl up in bed and cry, but I realized that it just isn't realistic. If you don't face it now, it'll only get harder and you'll just end up pushing the people that are still there father away."

"Just know that if you ever do need to cry, well, you know, I'm here," he finished awkwardly.

Lily smiled. "I know, James. You've kind of always been there, even when I begged you not to be."

________________________________________________________

**And there you have it, Chapter Twenty-Three, by far the longest yet! I really want to get Lily out of her depressed state so that things can be happier again, but I'm still working on how to so that.**

**I hope you liked this chapter! Remus and Vanessa are finally together! I hope that will satisfy you romantics out there for a while since I'm going canon and James and Lily can't get together until 7****th**** year. More Frank and Alice next chapter!**

**And then there's Duncan, we have a new character! Tell me your thoughts on him.**

**And what about the James and Snape scene? What did you think about that?**

**PLEASE REVIEW!!**

**Thanks for reading! Love you all to bits!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd waiters who_

_bring you things you never asked for and don't always like._


	24. Eye of the Storm

**YAY! New Chapter! This one is just Lily and Alice's POVs, just so you know.**

**And my laptop comes this week, yay for fast updates!! (:  
**

**Big thanks to: _iamagriffin_(whose name did not show up in the last chapter and I had to alter because it won't work in the document)_, hpdreamer500, Hannah In Wonderland, Tigerlily, AZNGURL98, SecretlyAGryffindor, raneonthewyndowpain, wickdwrtr, mimimi213, StarViky, Sarahrules336, RaindropsOnTheRooftop, XxIloveHarryPotterxX, Purple13512, victoriam549, Amanda, Marteczka's Quill, Hannable, _and _ivyflightislistening_ for all of the wonderful reviews!**

**And this chapter is dedicated to ****_raneonthewyndowpain _for reviewing from beginning to end. Thanks so much!  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

_When life is muddy, be a lotus._

**Chapter Twenty Four: Eye of the Storm**

Lily, James, Alice, Frank, Sirius, and Peter all sat in the Common Room together, making small talk about nothing in particular. In Lily's opinion, there were no better friends anywhere in the world. They did not try to bring up anything that had happened over the last few days, they knew she would talk if she wanted to. Lily was about to ask where Vanessa and Remus had gotten to when the portrait hole opened and they came inside – holding hands.

"No way," Lily gasped, a wide smile spreading across her face.

"Wha-?" Alice began, but then she saw it too. In the blink of an eye, the little blond witch had sprung from the couch and engulfed Vanessa and Remus and a hug.

"Um, Alice?" Sirius asked, looking startled and slightly worried. "You see them everyday."

Alice grinned knowingly at Lily before she dragged Remus and Vanessa over to the group. "I think," she began, positively beaming. "That our friends have an announcement to make."

The new couple blushed furiously, but smiled.

"Vanessa and I," Remus told them. "Are dating."

Sirius catcalled, James jumped up to pat Remus on the back, Lily and Alice hugged Vanessa, and Frank and Peter applauded.

"Thanks, guys," Vanessa said, now the color of a tomato.

"If you boys would excuse us," Alice said, taking Lily and Vanessa by the arms. "It's time for a little girl talk."

Without waiting for a response, she dragged them up the stairs.

"Ness, this is great!" Lily squealed as soon as the dormitory door shut behind them.

The three girls jumped and giggled and screamed for a moment to let out all of their pent-up energy. Once they calmed down, they sat on Vanessa's bed and Alice asked, "so, how did he ask you?"

"What made him give in?" Lily added.

"Has he kissed you yet?"

"When's your first date?"

"How-"

"Whoa!" Vanessa yelled, putting up a hand to stop the onslaught of questions. "One at a time."

Lily and Alice looked at each other briefly. Then, as if they had rehearsed it, they turned to face Vanessa and asked in unison, "what made him give in?"

Vanessa laughed. "Well, we were on our way to Herbology –"

"In this weather?" Lily asked, looking out the window at the storm, which was still going strong.

"Shhh," Alice hushed her, looking attentively at Vanessa.

"Sorry."

"Anyway, we were on our way to Herbology and it was wet and muddy and we kept slipping and falling, and then all of a sudden he stopped me and told me that he had thought about what I had said to him, you know, about how I know he wouldn't ask me out –"

"Because he's a werewolf, we know," Alice said impatiently, she had worked out Remus' condition when Vanessa tried to explain to her why he did not want to go out with her. "Skip to the part where he asks you out!"

Lily and Vanessa both laughed at the petite witch, whose expression was that of a child hearing her favorite fairytale.

"Impatient, Al?" Lily teased.

"Yes!" she admitted. "Keep going, please?"

"Okay, okay," Vanessa giggled. "So I told him that it didn't matter what he was, and he was still unconvinced. Then he told me that he also did not want to ask me out because he can't afford nice things, which he thinks I deserve. Then –"

"Awww!" Lily and Alice moaned together.

"That is so sweet!" Lily exclaimed.

Vanessa blushed lightly. "Yeah, it really was. But I told him that that didn't matter either. He thought about it for a while, then he made me swear that I would stay in the castle every time there's a full moon –"

"He's trying so hard to take care of you!" Alice told her, a dreamy look in her eyes.

"Nessa, you might have just found a perfect guy," Lily said.

Alice hit her over the head with a pillow. "What about Frank?"

"I said '_a_ perfect guy,' Al, not '_the_ perfect guy,'" Lily laughed.

"Not to mention James," Vanessa added, winking at Lily.

She just rolled her eyes. "Let's get back to Remus."

"She didn't deny it!" Alice yelled, giving Lily a huge hug. "You just gave her a great opportunity to insult him and she changed the subject!"

"Hey now," Lily said, trying to push Alice off of her. "I just didn't want to make this about me when we're talking about Ness."

"Mmhmm," Vanessa said sarcastically, grinning at Alice. "Darling, I think our Lily might finally see the good in him."

"It's about time, Lily, honestly," Alice said as she rolled her eyes.

Lily just stared at the two of them for a moment. She could not deny what they were accusing her of, but at the same time, old habits die hard and insults tried to bubble to the surface. "Let Nessa finish her story, then you two can go on berating me, okay?"

"Deal!" Alice giggled. "Go on, Ness."

"Well, I promised him I would stay inside, and then he just gave in and asked me to be his girlfriend. We hugged, and then we had to go because we were going to be late."

"Boo!" Alice groaned. "You should have just skipped Herbology!"

Lily laughed. "Alice, this is _Remus Lupin_ we're talking about, remember?"

"The same Remus Lupin that went to class for a week in fourth year with those purple polka dots all over him from that stupid Slytherin's jinx," Vanessa added, shaking her head in amusement.

"Oh, I remember that!" Alice giggled. "He said they did nothing to impair the function of his brain so there was no point in not going to class."

Vanessa nodded. "I would have definitely used it as an excuse to skip."

"Well, Ness, are you sure you two are such a great match then?" Lily joked.

"Hey!" Vanessa exclaimed, giving Lily a second whack of the pillow. "Opposites attract. And who knows? Maybe dating him will make me smarter, or at least make me study more."

"So you're okay with studying more?" Alice asked, looking as though she was trying to keep herself from smiling.

Vanessa shrugged. "As long as it's with him I'm up for just about anything."

Alice and Lily shared a look. "Awww!" they sighed together.

"Oh, shut up," Vanessa told them, but she was smiling. "Now, Lily, I believe it's your turn."

Lily rolled her eyes. "What do you want me to say?"

"Tell us what made you finally change your mind about James!" Alice said excitedly, bouncing up and down on the bed.

Lily took a deep breath. "Well, that day on the train, when he came to talk to me, remember?"

Alice nodded vigorously, urging her to continue.

"Well, right before you and Frank came in, we were talking about how he says all these nice things about me. I told him they were just empty words because he doesn't know my bad side, well, it turns out, he _does_ know it. He listed a good number of bad things about me."

"Like what?" Alice and Vanessa asked in unison.

"Oh, you know, things like I have a bad temper, I'm impatient and insecure, I get stressed out too easily, I can't cook, oh, and my personal favorite: he told me I can be a total bitch."

Alice gasped.

"He did not!" Vanessa exclaimed.

"He did. And the weird thing is, I didn't get mad about it. At first I was just kind of shocked, but then I thought about it and I realized that of all the people in the world, no one has more of a right to say something like that to me than James Potter."

"No he doesn't!" Alice said. "What makes you think that?"

"Alice, are you serious?" Lily asked, staring at her friend in disbelief. "I've treated him like he's the most disgusting piece of filth I've ever had the misfortune to meet for five years."

"But a lot of the time, your actions were completely justified," Vanessa reasoned.

"I thought so too," Lily went on. "And maybe for the first few years they were, but for a while now he's been nothing but kind and caring to me and I've turned a blind eye to it, as Remus was kind enough to point out. I was so used to not trusting him, that I couldn't bring myself to change my mind until he told me all those awful things. Just the fact that he had the guts to do it was one thing, but he also used it as a reason as to why his compliments were all true – because he also knows the bad things about me."

"Lily! Why on earth did you let Frank and me walk in on something like that?" Alice asked, looking at Lily as if she was crazy.

"I don't know. I think I just didn't know how to respond to him, so I was almost grateful for the interruption. I didn't want him to see me let my guard down."

Vanessa raised an eyebrow. "That was why he wanted to talk to you that night."

"Yes," Lily nodded. "He took me to an empty classroom and told me that he hadn't meant to make me angry and that he had not been able to finish what he had been trying to tell me. He said I have flaws, but that there's good stuff too. He said that I have to believe him when he tells me he thinks I'm wonderful because he knows the bad and the good and that he thinks my flaws are beautiful."

Her friends stared at her in silence for a moment.

"Lily," Vanessa whispered, looking awed. "That is the sweetest thing I have ever heard in my entire life."

"What did you say after that?" Alice asked with wide eyes.

Lily shook her head. "I never got a chance. That was when the owl came to tell me to go to Dumbledore's office. But the thing about it is, that even after everything with Greg, all that lies and false compliments, I still believed James when he told me that. In spite of everything my head kept telling me, in my heart, I believed him."

"Is that what made you decide you were going to be friends with him?"

"That was part of it – a big part – but then that night, once we had," Lily paused to take a breath. "Once we had come back from my house, he came up here, as you know. But that night, we were talking and he was sitting in this hard wooden chair. He didn't plan on sleeping, he just wanted to be there in case I needed him. I told him he couldn't do that and he said it wasn't like he was going to get into bed with me. He only meant it as a joke, but it made me realize that throughout the whole ordeal he was right there and I was so vulnerable, yet he never tried to take advantage of me at all, and that was when I knew that I trusted him more that I would have liked to admit."

Lily had been staring at her knees throughout the whole conversation, but she looked up at this point to see Alice's eyes welling up with tears and Vanessa hastily wiping her own.

"Come on you two," Lily said, feeling like if they started crying, there would be nothing holding her back from doing so as well. "Don't cry about it, it's a good thing."

"We know, Lily, he's just so sweet!" Alice exclaimed, pulling Lily into a hug.

Vanessa joined the two of them. "I think we really found gems in these Hogwarts boys."

Alice grinned. "You can say that again."

"Speaking of Hogwarts boys," Lily said as they broke apart. "Don't you think we've kept them waiting long enough?"

The other two nodded and giggled and, together, the three girls made their way downstairs.

"So who do you think will make the team this year?" Frank was asking.

"Yeah, Quidditch Captain," Sirius teased. "Now that you get to call all the shots?"

_James is Quidditch Captain?_ Lily thought in surprise. _He never mentioned that._

"Lang for Keeper again, definitely. He's always been a great player," James answered. He paused when he saw the three girls reach the bottom of the stairs. "Have a nice little chat about how fantastic we are?"

"We did actually," Vanessa answered, taking a seat next to Remus. "Though I'm sorry to admit that under the present circumstances, I am no longer allowed to be madly in love with you, James."

Alice took a seat beside Frank, leaving Lily the one between James and Sirius. She rolled her eyes, but took it anyway, much to Alice's obvious delight.

"Well that just adds to the lengthy list of untrue rumors about me and the _not_-so-lengthy list of girls who don't positively adore me."

"So that brings the number up to three?" Alice joked. "Me, Lily, and Vanessa?"

"No, no, there's four," Lily added, pretending to be thinking hard. "Constance Malfoy's hated him ever since he charmed that Fanged Frisbee to follow her around and chew on her ears."

"And don't forget about Lesley Donovan. That seventh year Ravenclaw," Sirius went on. "Back in second year, James thought it would be funny to take her diary out of her school bag and put the pages all over the walls of the girls' bathroom."

"That was you?" Vanessa asked, laughing hard. "That was so mean!"

"Oh, and then there was –"

"Okay! I get it! Maybe the list isn't that short after all," James admitted, throwing his hands up in defeat. "Let's get back to Quidditch, at least it's a kinder subject to me."

Lily, Alice, and Vanessa exchanged looks and rolled their eyes.

Lily tuned out most of the conversation, just enjoying the hum of friendly voices around her. It surprised her when everyone began standing up and making their way to the staircases.

"Bedtime, Lils," Vanessa said when she saw her friend's startled look.

"Okay," Lily answered, "Just give me a minute."

Vanessa nodded and followed Alice up to the dormitory.

"Hey, James?" Lily asked. "Can I talk to you a second?"

James smiled at her and sat back down on the couch, patting the space beside him as his friends disappeared up the boys' staircase. "Of course, darling."

Lily rolled her eyes at the pet name, but sat down nonetheless.

"How are you doing?" he asked softly.

"I'm… I'm getting there," she answered. "But that isn't what I wanted to talk to you about."

"What is it?"

"Well, I just wanted to thank you again. Especially for last night, I was thinking and it would have been so easy for you to take advantage of me when I was like that, but you didn't."

James pushed a strand of hair behind her ear before replying. "Lily, sweetheart, I would never, _ever _take advantage of you."

"I know. And I just wanted you to know that I trust you, I really do. And I wanted to apologize again. I've treated you so badly recently. I didn't realize that you were honestly such a good person, I just had it in my head that you were an arrogant jerk and I refused to let myself change my mind for a long time. So I'm so sorry."

"Would it do any good to tell you that there's no need to apologize?" James asked with a small smile.

"None whatsoever."

"Then I forgive you," he paused for a moment, just looking into her eyes. "But just so you know, Lily, you were forgiven before you ever even did a thing."

Lily felt goose bumps rise on her skin as he continued to stare at her that way. It felt as though he was looking right through her outer shell and straight into the inner workings of her heart.

"Well, I'd best be getting to bed," she said, standing up. "I don't want them to worry."

"Are you going to be okay tonight?" James asked, taking her hand to keep her from running away.

Lily took in the dark circles under his eyes and nodded, knowing full well that she was lying, but she would not let him torture himself for her sake. He gave her a disbelieving look, but let her go. She was halfway up the stairs before she paused, remembering something. She turned to find James still staring at her, and made her way quickly back to where he stood. A blush found its way onto her cheeks, but she ignored it, saying, "Congratulations, by the way, on being made Quidditch Captain." She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before hurrying up to the dormitory without looking back.

The four other girls were already asleep, so Lily pulled on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and climbed into bed. It was not long before she fell into a troubled sleep. Her dreams were riddled with dead parents, silent sisters, and a tall blond girl beaten and bruised, begging to be rescued. Lily tossed and turned for what seemed like hours before she heard a soothing voice in her ear.

"It's okay, I'm right here. I'll always be right here."

She rolled over one last time an slept peacefully for the rest of the night.

- - - - - - -

Alice woke early the next morning to see James slipping out of the dormitory. The sun was just beginning to peek over the treetops of the Forbidden Forest, filling the dormitory with a faint purple light.

"James?" she asked quietly, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing, Al, it's okay, go back to bed," he whispered.

Ignoring his wishes, she slipped from under the covers and made her way to where James was standing, one hand on the doorknob.

"You stayed with Lily again," she stated, noting that the circles under his eyes had grown darker.

"Yes," James admitted, glancing around to make sure the other girls were asleep. "She told me not to, she said she would be fine. But I knew she just wanted me to get some sleep, so I came up here once she was in bed and I'm leaving before she wakes up."

Alice shook her head, unable to keep a wide grin off her face. "James, I have to say, Lily has got to be one of the luckiest girls in all the world."

"No –"

"Yes," Alice cut him off and gave his hand a little squeeze. "Thank you for being there for her."

"Anytime, Al," he answered, ruffling her short blond hair. "Now get back to bed."

"I should say the same to you."

"I'm going, I'm going," James chuckled. "See you later, Al."

"See you." She climbed back into bed and did not wake up again until Vanessa began shaking her.

"Wake up, Alice!" Vanessa exclaimed, resorting to beating her with a pillow. "We've already missed breakfast, now we're about to be late to Potions."

"As if that matters," Alice moaned, rolling out from under the blanket. The sun was up know, flooding the room with a harsh yellow light. "As long as Lily's with us we could miss half the class and not get into trouble."

"Hey!" came Lily's voice from the bathroom. "I don't want to do that to Professor Slughorn!"

"It's okay, Lils, I'll be ready in five minutes."

–_Ten minutes later –_

Alice, Lily, and Vanessa sprinted into the Potions classroom just as the bell rang.

"Oh ho!" Professor Slughorn chuckled. "Cutting it a bit close, are we girls?"

"Sorry, Professor," they mumbled together, taking seats with James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter.

"Quite all right, quite all right. Now class, if you will turn to page 37…"

Alice tuned out the drone of his voice when she saw familiar block handwriting inking itself across her parchment.

_Good morning, Alice! You look beautiful today. – FL_

_Frank! You haven't even seen me yet, goofy. – AH_

_That doesn't matter. You still look beautiful. – FL_

_Stop it, Frank, Professor Slughorn will see me blushing! – AH_

_Do you really think he would be bothered? – FL_

_Quite the opposite, actually. I'm more worried that I would never hear the end of it. – AH_

_Haha, that's true, he does love matchmaking, though most of the time he is quite awful at it. – FL_

_Like that time he tried to get Vanessa and Peter together! Oh poor Peter, I wasn't sure he'd survive! – AH_

_And I thought Ness might throw up right on the spot! – FL_

_Oh, I know! The look on her face was priceless. – AH_

_Anyway, you know there's a Hogsmeade weekend coming up the last week of September. Would you like to go with me? – FL_

_Aw, Frank, you don't have to ask! – AH_

_But I want to, Al, you deserve that much. – FL_

"Hey, Alice," Vanessa whispered as she began setting up her cauldron. "Back to reality, darling, Slughorn's coming."

Alice nodded, scribbling, _I have to go, see you at lunch! – AH _ She began getting her ingredients out as well and shoved the note into her copy of _Advanced Potion Making_ just as Professor Slughorn past by.

"Thanks, Ness," she whispered back. "I owe you one."

"Don't mention it."

For the rest of the period, Alice tried as hard as she could to concentrate on making an Energy Elixir, for she had to do well in this class if she was ever going to become an Auror. For once, though, her heart was not in it. It was out on the grounds, where Frank was in Care of Magical Creatures.

"Well, bottle up a vile of your solutions class," Professor Slughorn told them at the end of the lesson. "We'll let them stew and try them out on Thursday."

There was a scrape of benches as everyone lined up at his desk with their potions. Once Alice had turned hers in, she packed her bag and headed for the door.

"Oh, Lily! This looks marvelous!" She heard Slughorn say. Alice rolled her eyes, but smiled. Lily was so talented.

When the seven of them gathered in the hallway, they made their way out onto the grounds for break. The storms from the day before had subsided; the ground was still damp, but the sun was out and drying it quickly.

"So, Alice," Remus began as they began walking aimlessly. "Vanessa tells me you know about my… furry little problem."

"Oh, yeah. I figured it out the other day on the train."

"And I take it you don't mind? Seeing as how you've not run away shrieking in terror."

Alice giggled. "Come on, Rem, I've know you for five years. I already know that you're a good person, it wouldn't be fair to judge you because of your… problem."

"I don't understand you lot, you know that?" Remus asked, shaking his head in disbelief. "Most of the Wizarding World would shun me without a second thought if they knew what I was, yet you just continue to spend more time with me."

Lily fell into step beside him. "How many times do I have to tell you? It's not what you _are_, it's what you _do_. And you have done nothing to give us reason to shun you, or hate you, or anything else they do to people like you."

"And besides," Vanessa added. "We all have 'furry little problems' when you think about it. It may not be something as major as becoming a werewolf every month, but we all have a bad side, so who are we to judge you for yours?"

"And the thing about you, Remus," Alice told him, walking on the other side of Lily. "Is that other than turning into a werewolf, you never really show a bad side at all. It's like, that's the only thing wrong with you."

"Clearly, Moony, it's not a bad thing to tell people either," Sirius said with a bark-like laugh. "Just look at you, surrounded by women!"

"Yeah, if I'd have known Lily liked people with those kind of problems, I'd have been bitten by a vampire or something ages ago," James added, slinging an arm around Lily's shoulders, which she shrugged off with a laugh.

"I don't know, maybe you should turn into something easier to manage. A flobberworm, maybe?" she told him. "A least that way we wouldn't have to listen to you talk."

"You cut me deep, Lily!" James exclaimed dramatically, pretending to stab himself and falling to the ground.

Sirius tried to keep a straight face as he reached out a hand to help James up. "Tough luck, mate."

"At least Peter appreciates me!" James joked, this time with an arm around the shorter boy.

"Yeah, well too bad I'm not as pretty as Lily," he said.

James, Sirius and Remus all stared at him in disbelief.

"Whoa," was all Sirius could say.

"Wow," James began. "That was actually very…_ smooth_."

"Hey, I have my moments," Peter told them, though he looked quite surprised with himself as well.

"I guess if you hang around James and Sirius long enough, they begin to wear off on you," Remus laughed.

"Thank you, Peter," Lily said. "I admit I am very impressed."

She gave him a smile and his round mousy face turned beet red. "Su-sure," he stuttered.

The other boys rolled their eyes, the old shy, clumsy, quiet Peter was back.

"Just don't wet yourself."

_______________________________________________________

**So I wanted to do a more light-hearted chapter in the midst of all this trouble. This was kind of Lily just pushing the bad stuff out of her head and trying to enjoy herself a little, hence the name of the chapter. I didn't get to put as much Alice/Frank in it as I would have liked to. This chapter just kind of flowed out and there just really wasn't room for them. Within the next couple of chapters, though, they will get their Hogsmeade weekend (which will hopefully be a fun chapter in itself because I can do R/V and maybe even a little L/J too!). So look forward to that, but don't forget about Stella either! We're getting back to her next chapter maybe, I haven't really decided. Oh, and Duncan may be next chapter too, they have DADA Mondays and Wednesdays, so its possible. Just let me know what you guys want to see! That would be great!**

**PLEASE REVIEW!!**

**Love you all to bits!!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_Music screams the words that we're afraid to speak._


	25. Making Progress

**Hey guys, new chapter, fast update, woo!! However, this isn't the Duncan chapter yet. ): Explanation in end author note.**

**Thank you, thank you, thank you to: Amanda, pinkpearl89, iamagriffin, -the smell of autumn-, L, Sarahrules336, raneonthewyndoepain, SecretlyAGriffindor, wickdwrtr, xXIloveHarryPotterXx, lira2308, RaindropsOntheRooftop, ivyflightislistening, Tigerlily, Hannable, and mimimi213 for the lovely reviews!! This chapter is dedicated to all of you guys! (:**

**POV Order: Lily, Alice, Vanessa, Lily**

**Disclaimer: I might have some creative rights to Vanessa, but nothing else.**

_Apathy is the easiest trap to fall into. And the best thing a person can do to avoid it is to stay passionate. Because the times of utter misery are so worth it for the times of complete happiness. Never allow yourself to stop caring. Feeling too much is better than not feeling enough.  
_

**Chapter Twenty-Five: Making Progress**

Lily found it harder to concentrate than usual on Professor Binns' droning voice as she sat in History of Magic. For once, however, it was not the sleepy stupor induced by the little old man's boring lesson topics that was tugging at the edge of her consciousness, it was something far more recent and it was keeping her awake and alert.

Just yesterday she had received the news of Stella's kidnapping, and so far she had been in a state of shock, going through the day acting normal and trying her best not to think about it. But as she sat with her fellow Gryffindors (save for Peter, who had failed the O.W.L. miserably) in back of Binns' classroom, her mind was free to wander.

She had to do something to help Stella. Lily had only met her once, but she felt a connection to the tall blond girl. Not only had Stella taken her side against Gregory Pearson, she had given Lily a piece of advice that she had written on the inside cover of her planner so that she could see it everyday:

"_Don't settle for someone who kisses up to you all the time. Wait for the guy who knows how to make you angry and does so on a regular basis. The guy who will be honest with you and tell you if you look ridiculous or that you're acting stupid. Because love was never meant to be easy. It was meant to be worth it." - Stella Redwood_

It was these words that had truly made Lily feel better about everything Greg had done to her, it was these words that gave her hope and made her realize that falling in love with someone is not an easy ride. She knew now that love was so much more than kisses, and presents, and walks in the park. It was all those things, sure, but it was also a fight. It took blood and sweat and tears to be in love with someone, and it took just as much for them to love you back. Lily did not think you could truly be in love with someone unless you had really gone through something with that person, seen the good and the bad, been their crying shoulder and crying on theirs. Love was a war just like anything else, but it was the war that really was worth fighting for.

Lily knew it was silly, but in a few short sentences, Stella had helped her realize all of this, she had changed the way Lily looked at boys, and in a sense, the way she looked at life. Lily owed Stella. She knew it. But that was not the only reason she wanted to help. Stella was her friend, bottom line. And Lily would do anything for her, even though she had spent so little time with her. And maybe that was a mistake, maybe it was not a good thing that she had trusted Stella so easily, but Lily rarely trusted people quickly, so she thought there must be something special about the tall blond.

Lily thought about writing to Alastor Moody personally, to see if he would give her information that Dumbledore might be withholding for her own protection. Of course, Lily had no idea what she would do even if she knew where Stella was or who had taken her, but she figured she could overcome those obstacles when she got to them, it would not do any good to try to climb a wall that was not there. A closer hurdle was getting the information. After only a brief encounter with the grizzled Auror, Lily did not think him to be the type to divulge any secrets. She could try to figure out who was on the team he had assembled, but if Moody had chosen them, they were probably on the same level of confidentiality, if only to keep Moody from blasting them to bits.

_What do the Death Eaters even want her for? _ Lily thought angrily_. It's not like she's a witch, then it might make more sense, they could want her for her talents. But why capture a Muggle? If only there was someone on the inside that could –_

Lily cut her own thought short as she realized that there was just such a person. Someone close enough to the Death Eaters – maybe one of them himself – that might know what was going on. But would he even talk to her after everything she had told him last summer? Of course he would, because just as Sev would always have a place in her heart, Lily knew that she would always have a place in his. They had been friends too long, been through too much, to just pretend like there was nothing left. If he were to come to her with a genuine need, something that did not go against everything she believed in, she would still do everything in the world to help him, no questions asked. _Because, _Lily thought,_ friends forever really are friends forever. No matter what happens, no matter who says what and no matter how far apart you drift, when it comes right down to it, if you were in it together once, you always would be._

Yes. She would talk to Sev the first chance she got.

Now that she had a plan, Lily felt much better. She felt as though she was moving forward, making progress, rather than letting grief overcome her. If there was anything that she took from this whole experience – her parents' death, her sister's newfound hatred, and then Stella – it was that giving into sadness was just what the Death Eaters would want. It was how they fought their war, for sadness alone was crippling, one must overcome their sadness and turn it to determination. That was the only chance they had of victory.

When the bell rang, signaling the end of class, Lily looked at her parchment and was slightly surprised to see it completely blank. That was the first time, ever, that she had not written a single thing.

"Hey, I've got you covered," James said, showing her his own notes. They were not as lengthy as Lily's normally were, but he had tried.

She smiled up at him. "How did you know?"

"Told you I didn't need Divination," James told her with a wink.

Lily shook her head and quickly shoved her things back into her bag, following the rest of her friends out the door.

- - - - - - -

After History of Magic and Charms, Alice led the way into the Great Hall for lunch, eager to see Frank. She spotted him waving her over and dashed off to join him, a grin stubbornly stuck on her face.

"Hey, Frank!" she exclaimed, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

He smiled back at her as she sat down beside him. "I missed you at breakfast today."

"Sorry, I overslept. We barely made it to Potions in time."

Alice began piling food on her plate as Lily, Vanessa, and the boys took their places around the couple, chatting lazily.

"Hey, did you see the paper this morning?" Frank asked once everyone was settled.

Lily, Alice, and Vanessa shook their heads. "We weren't down here for the mail," Lily explained.

"And I never got a chance to read it," James said. "Why?"

"There's been another Death Eater attack," Frank told them, a grim expression on his face.

"What?" Sirius exclaimed. "Who? Was it anyone we know?"

Alice felt a tug at her heart when she saw the look on his face. Sirius seemed so guilty whenever there was news of the war. She knew he blamed himself for a lot of the bad things that had happened because so many people in his family were Death Eaters and supporters of Voldemort. It was ridiculous, of course. But there was no chance in convincing him of that.

"No, no, it was a half-blood family from Germany. They were on Holiday in London."

"Something has to be done," Lily said, determination in her emerald eyes.

"I agree. Why are we all sitting around doing nothing?" Sirius challenged. "There's a war practically on our doorstep and yet here we are."

"They say Dumbledore is building up a resistance – people who want to fight. Maybe we should talk to him," Remus suggested.

"But we're too young," Peter said, eyes full of fear.

"I hate to say it," Alice reasoned. "But Peter's right. Professor Dumbledore would never allow us to fight, at least not until we're of age."

"There has to be something we can do," James said angrily, hitting a fist on the wooden table.

"Well, why don't we talk to Dumbledore?" Vanessa suggested. "Maybe there_ is_ something we can do, even if it's on a smaller scale. Then he would trust us and let us fight once we're out of school."

"Remus and Lily should be the ones to talk to him," Sirius said, brightening slightly at the idea. "The are the prefects after all, he might be more willing to listen to them."

"This isn't some petty school issue, though," Lily added. "I'm sure he'd be ready to talk to anyone who wanted to do their part in this war. I have no problem with doing it, but if anyone else wants to, that's fine too."

"I'll go," James said immediately.

"And me," added Alice and Vanessa together.

"I'm in," Frank nodded.

"That's makes all of us," Sirius grinned. "Right, Pete?"

The smaller boy gave a tiny nod, looking as if he wished he could do anything else.

"Good," Remus said. "Why don't we go this weekend, before the Hogsmeade trip?"

"Sounds good to me," Sirius agreed. He went on, lowering his voice. "In the meantime, though, the Marauders have yet to pull a start-of-term prank."

James' eyes lit up as his best friend said this. "You are absolutely right. If you all will excuse us, we have some serious planning to do."

"Nothing that I would have to get you into trouble for!" Lily told them as the four boys got to their feet.

"Don't worry, Lily-flower," Sirius reassured her. "You won't even be able to prove it was us."

"It's nice too see that even in the midst of everything, they can still keep their sense of humor," Vanessa observed, watching them leave the Great Hall.

"Though, you know Remus probably won't be paying much attention to you for the next few days, Ness," Alice told her with a grin. "He'll be too busy trying to keep them under control."

Vanessa laughed. "I think I'd prefer he not talk to me for a few days to the four of them blowing up the school."

"Good point," Alice said, laughing too.

"Yeah, Al, just because you need constant attention doesn't mean all girls do," Frank joked, ruffling her hair.

She swatted his hand away playfully. "Hey!"

"Just 'hey?' No witty comeback?" Frank smiled victoriously.

"Well, I do enjoy attention, what was I supposed to say?" Alice told him lightly. "Comebacks only work when jokes aren't based in truth."

"Hmm, I never thought about that before," Frank said, frowning in mock concentration. "So what would you say then if I said something completely crazy? Like… you look like the underside of an elephant?"

Alice laughed before replying. "I would say that you're worse off than I am, you look like the front of one." She took a finger and held it way out in front of her nose to indicate that he had a large one.

Frank chuckled. "I see your point, it's much more fun when nothing makes sense."

"Hey, I said the _joke_ couldn't be based in truth, I never said anything about the comeback," Alice grinned, pinching his nose.

Frank's jaw dropped as he pretended to be hurt. "Oh you did not just say that, missy."

"Oh yes I did. What are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know maybe… _this!"_

Alice gasped as Frank began tickling her stomach madly. "Ah! Stop! No! Jerk!" she choked out through hysterical laughter.

Suddenly, the pair heard someone clear their throat and looked up to see Lily and Vanessa watching them with amused expressions on their faces.

"You do realize that half the people in the Hall are staring at you, right?" Vanessa asked with a raised eyebrow, clearly fighting a smile.

"Yeah, guys, get a room. Honestly," Lily added, shaking her head as she feigned horror at their public display of affection.

Alice felt herself blush, but grinned at her friends. "Stop being such sourpusses," she joked, sticking out her tongue.

Lily and Vanessa giggled as the four of them stood together and made their way up the many staircases that led to Gryffindor Tower.

- - - - - - -

Vanessa was sitting by the fire in the Common Room that night, reading a book for her Magical Law class. It was late and the girls had gone to bed, and Vanessa was about to join them when she heard someone enter the portrait hole. She turned to find Remus making his way over to her.

"Hey," she greeted. "Where's the gang?"

"Still working on this new prank," Remus explained, shaking his head in amusement. "It would be nice if they put this much effort and dedication into school."

Vanessa laughed lightly, standing to face him. "So how did you manage to get away?"

"I told them I wanted to come talk to you."

"Are you sure that's such a good idea? Leaving them alone while they're on a prank adrenaline high?" Vanessa joked.

Remus smiled. "I told them not to do anything I wouldn't while I'm gone. I'm just hoping they know me well enough to know where I would draw the line."

"It's not so much the fact that they know where you would _draw_ the line, it's which lines you would be willing to cross."

"That's true," Remus chuckled. "I really did want to talk to you though."

Vanessa felt her heart jump to her throat as she imagined the worse. "You haven't changed your mind, have you?"

"No!" he exclaimed, gentle grabbing her arms to keep her facing him. "No, no, no, Ness. I still don't think I made the best decision for your sake, but I've made it and I'm not going back now."

She smiled up at him. "Just making sure."

"Would you like to go for a walk with me?" he asked, taking her book and setting it on the table by her chair.

"Rem, it's past curfew."

"Like you said, it's which lines I'm willing to cross. I may be a prefect, but I'm also a Marauder, and as such I know that there are some rules that are made to be broken."

Vanessa looked at him, impressed. "Wow, this is a whole other side to you."

"Well, that's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about," he told her, blushing and looking slightly awkward as they made their way out of the tower. "It's just, I've never really had a relationship before, because I always swore that I wouldn't. And now that I'm here, I don't know how to act around you."

Vanessa studied his face for a moment, taking in the light brown hair, deep grey eyes, and all over rugged look he pulled off so well. "The way I see it," she began, talking slowly as she tried to put her thoughts into words. "When you're in a relationship with someone, you have to just be yourself around them. Just say what you want to say, do what you want to do. I think relationships have a lot to do with individuals, you know? Like I have to be willing to show you exactly who I am and you have to be the same to me."

"But that's just it. There are things that seem like I should keep to myself, things I wouldn't tell anyone. It's things that I would like to be able to share with you, but then either I don't want to burden you with it, or I don't want you to think I'm crazy. Does that make sense?" he asked, an almost pleading look in his eyes.

She gave him a reassuring smile. "Absolutely. A lot of the time, I think people should just keep secrets to themselves, that way, if they mess something up, there is no one to blame but themselves. When you tell other people those things, it's like they carry this weight with them because if they mess it up, it's like they let you down, you know? But I guess when you really care about people, you have to trust them not to mess it up, at least not on purpose, and you have to be willing to forgive them if they do. And on the other side, you have to be willing to listen and keep the other person's secrets."

Remus nodded. "It's just confusing. I watch the way James acts around Lily and the way Alice and Frank act around other people and it's like the whole thing just comes so naturally to them, whereas I don't really feel like that."

By now they had made it to the oak front doors. They were unlocked, so Remus and Vanessa made their way outside and down to the lake. The grounds were lit only by the light streaming from the castle windows, and by the scattered stars overhead. Vanessa smiled inwardly. It was a new moon, of course Remus would only take her outside when it could not be seen at all.

"Well," she told him, taking his hand in hers. "I'm no expert myself. I suppose we'll just have to learn together."

Remus shook his head in a bemused sort of way. "You just seem so confident in everything. How do you manage that?"

"I suppose it's a lot easier to make something work if you go into it already fully convinced that it will rather than going into it expecting to fail," Vanessa shrugged. "Besides, I really _want_ to make this work, so why would I be anything but confident?"

"Can I ask you something?" Remus asked, leading her around the lake.

"Of course."

"Why me?" he went on. "When girls look at us, they see James and Sirius. James, well, he's almost taken already, but why me instead of Sirius?"

"How could you be worried about that?" Vanessa asked with a soft laugh. "You're smart, and talented, and maybe Sirius is too, but I think it's the heart that makes the ultimate decision. And I don't think that the heart uses any kind of reasonable rubric to determine who it falls for. I think it goes solely off it's own standards and chooses who it wants despite anything your head tries to tell it."

"Have you ever considered becoming a writer?" Remus asked, smiling down at her.

Vanessa was slightly startled by the question. "Not really, why?"

"I just think that there's a lot going on in that head that people could really benefit from. You have all these interesting takes on things that I probably would never have even thought of if you hadn't said something."

Vanessa felt her cheeks flushing. "Well, another thing I think is that people need to figure this kind of stuff out for themselves. You shouldn't base your beliefs of something that you read. I think your beliefs come from your experiences and that's what you should go off of. If you base a belief off something you read, it can be weak. If you experience something for yourself, you'll feel much more strongly about it and can back yourself up."

"I still think you should consider it," Remus grinned. "You never know, you could really change people's lives."

Vanessa shrugged. "I don't know, do you really see me as a change the world type of girl?"

"After everything you just said?" Remus asked in disbelief. "Come on, Ness, I think you've got a pretty good shot at it."

A sudden thought occurred to her and she gave him a sly grin. "I could fight for werewolf rights."

Remus' face darkened slightly. "I think it would be a waste of time. We've been fighting that battle for ages."

"You, the werewolves have. What if there were people who weren't werewolves fighting too? I mean, how much say can you have in the way tings are run if you can't even have a job in the Ministry?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "I've really gotten you onto something, haven't I?"

"Yes, you have. It's a good idea!" she said defiantly when she saw his expression. "I mean, what better way to _change_ the world then to actually _include_ the whole world _in_ the world? Does that make sense?"

Remus gave her a quizzical look, but nodded.

"I mean," she went on. "When you think about it, the way the wizarding world treats werewolves is basically the same way that Voldemort and his followers treat half-bloods and Muggle-borns. How can the Ministry fight a war for equality of all wizards, while they still limit rights to half-breeds? It's hypocrisy."

"Now many people will see it that way, Ness."

"You don't know that, Rem. Besides, it's worth a try, isn't it? You just told me I could change the world if I wanted to. Am I not allowed to change _your_ world?"

Remus looked at her sadly. "I would love nothing more than for you to change my world. But our Ministry is one of tradition. They won't be open to a new idea so against everything that they have previously believed."

"Then we talk to people now. Students who plan on going into the Ministry later," Vanessa suggested.

"But they've still been taught the same things that the Ministry thinks."

"Not Muggle-borns," she corrected. "They come into our world with no prejudice. They think of everything in a whole different way, they can see people as they really are rather than how society tells them they are. Take Lily for example, Snape was her best friend for years, despite the fact that he was a Slytherin. Just from what I was taught, I would never have even given him the time of day. She hated James for years, even though he was everything our world thinks you should be. She found out your condition and didn't think twice about it. She thought it was no big deal that you were a werewolf and didn't even bother to bring it up until you did."

"What if Lily's just the exception?" Remus asked.

"And what if she's the rule? We can't know unless we try. I can think of five people off the top of my head who would be on our side in a heartbeat. Four of them are Pureblood! Why can't there be more?"

"But they knew me before they knew about my condition," he argued.

"Which just goes to show that it's not what you are, it's what you do! Like Lily always says. And what did they do after they found out? They clearly didn't leave. They stuck with you."

Remus stared at her for a moment. "You really want to do this, don't you?"

"Absolutely. I couldn't think of a better thing to do."

"Then I believe you can do it," he told her with a smile. "We should probably get back inside."

Vanessa nodded and followed back to the castle. They walked through the corridors hand-in-hand in amiable silence, occasionally ducking into an empty classroom when a teacher was near. They reached Gryffindor tower and woke an angry fat lady and entered the Common Room.

"Well, goodnight," Vanessa said as Remus walked with her to the bottom of the girls staircase. "Just in case you were wondering," she added, a grin and a blush on her face. "This is where you kiss me."

"Remus smiled back. "Funnily enough, that one I actually knew."

He took her hand and gently pulled her towards him, pressing his lips over her in a soft kiss. Vanessa closed her eyes and leaned into him for a moment, a soft moan escaping from her throat. She pulled away, knowing her face must be beyond red, but she grinned up at him, nonetheless. She wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head on his chest, just as she had done when he had asked her out.

"We really are going to make this work, you know," she whispered.

Remus stroked her hair for a moment before replying. "You know what? I think we will."

Vanessa smiled into his chest, feeling as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Just knowing that he wanted this as much as she did was enough to make her heart sing. She stood on her toes to kiss his cheek and made her way up the stairs.

"Goodnight, Rem."

"Goodnight."

She looked back down at him to see that he was smiling too. It was smile that she rarely saw on his troubled face, one of true and utter happiness.

- - - - - - -

Lily jerked awake when the dormitory door creaked open. She was about to look and see who had come in, but something stopped her. That something was sitting in a hard wooden chair next to her bed holding one of her hands in his.

"James?" she whispered. "I told you yesterday that you had to sleep! I'm fine."

James smiled at her, looking deathly tired. "Clearly you are not fine. I will sleep when I come in here and you aren't tossing and turning in some horrible nightmare."

Lily sat up on the bed and faced him. "Go. To. Bed," she instructed.

"Not a chance," he told her, patting her knee.

She let out an impatient huff and crossed her arms, giving James a look reminiscent of Professor McGonagall. "You're impossible."

"I do try," James grinned.

"Listen," Lily said, struck by an idea he would probably never agree to. "I'll sleep on the floor. You take the bed. That way, I'm not having nightmares and you'll get some rest."

Just as she thought he would, James stared at her like she was crazy. "That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard."

"Why don't you two just share a bed?" Vanessa suggested, climbing into her own.

James shook his head. "Sorry, Ness, but I'm a tad old-fashioned. I don't want anyone to have reason to think badly of Lily."

Vanessa rolled her eyes, but smiled as she closed her curtains.

"Then you sleep on the floor," Lily suggested. "Just sleep. I'm not going to let you torture yourself over me. In fact," she sat up straighter and crossed her arms. "I refuse to sleep another minute unless you sleep as well."

"Lily –"

"I mean it. Besides, we're meeting that new professor in the morning and by the sound of him, you'll need your strength."

"Fine," he agreed grudgingly, knowing Lily would not be swayed. "But stay on this side of the bed, so I can see you and give me your hand."

"Fine," she repeated.

James took out his wand and transfigured his chair into a crimson sleeping bag with gold lining and Lily had to laugh.

"Gryffindor through and through, aren't you?"

"Yes, ma'am," he grinned, getting inside as Lily laid back down. He reached his hand up and caught hers, which was hanging off the bed and held on tight. "If you need me –"

"You're right here," Lily finished for him, giving him a small smile. "Now go to sleep."

– _The Next Morning –_

Lily woke up when a pillow hit her in the face. She looked over to see Alice staring at her, a terrified expression on her face.

"Wha-?" Lily began, but a warm hand covered her mouth and dragged her back onto the bad as the curtains closed around her.

"Mary and Waverly," James breathed in her ear. She was sitting in his lap and he had one arm around her waist and one still covering her mouth, but she turned as best she could to face him.

"That was too close," she whispered back as he release took his hand away.

"So much for not doing anything to make people think badly of you."

He was so sincere, but Lily rolled her eyes. "It's okay, it's not your fault."

"I should never have let you convince me to go to sleep," he told her.

"You're joking, right?" she whispered. "Sleep and functioning properly go hand-in-hand, James. How exactly did you plan on getting through the day with no sleep?"

James shrugged, Lily could feel the movement throughout her entire body and realized just how close they were. "I would have managed."

"Well, don't you think that even if they still happened to find us, it would be better if I wasn't sitting on top of you?" Lily joked.

James cocked an eyebrow. "What? Don't tell me you'd be embarrassed? You know every girl wants some of this, you should consider yourself lucky."

Lily buried her face in his shoulder to stifle a laugh and inhaled some of his scent. It was quite intoxicating, a blend of light cologne and the smell of winter. "Don't be ridiculous," she told him, shaking her head to clear it.

"Should we wake, Lily?" Waverly asked from somewhere outside.

Lily felt James' arms tighten around her. It felt almost… protective. Not that protective really surprised her, but to actually feel it like that was more reassuring than Lily ever would have imagined.

"Oh, no!" Vanessa exclaimed. They could hear her move to stand in front of Lily's bed. "She hasn't been sleeping well lately, I think it's best to leave her be."

"Besides," came Alice's bell-like voice. "First class is Transfiguration, I don't think Lily would mind missing."

"Okay…" Waverly said, sounding unconvinced.

"Come on," Mary called to her friend. "Let's get down to breakfast. James loves Transfiguration, I bet he and the boys got up on time today."

"They'll be at breakfast and if Lily isn't there maybe we'll get a chance to talk to them!" Waverly added. There was a brief shuffling noise as the two girls grabbed their bags and hurried from the room.

Lily had not noticed that she and James had been holding their breath until they let it out together, laughing with nervous relief.

"I can honestly say I hope that is one experience I never have to have again," Lily said, still quietly.

"And honestly, I can't," James whispered, drawing lazy circles on her back.

Lily rolled her eyes and slid off of him. "Why are we whispering?"

"I don't know," he grinned.

Just then, the curtains flew open and there stood Alice and Vanessa. The little blond looked as though she had almost had a heart attack and her taller friend did not look much better.

"Let's never do that again," Vanessa suggested.

Alice nodded in agreement. "I was so scared they were going to catch you!"

"Well, they still might," Lily told them, hopping off the bed and grabbing a hairbrush. Running it through her long red hair, she continued, "if all of your friends are at breakfast without you, it won't go unnoticed by Mary and Waverly. You'd better get down there, James, or the two of them might start the rumors without seeing anything."

She walked over to the dormitory door and held it open for him. James smiled and shook his head in amusement. "Just can't wait to see me gone, can you?" he asked, making his way onto the staircase.

Just as he passed by Lily, she reached out and touched him arm ever so lightly, mouthing "thank you," before he looked away. James nodded to her, "anytime, love," he told her silently. And he was gone.

_______________________________________________________

**PLEASE READ THIS!!!! I know it's long, but bear with me.**

**Ugh, I wanted this to be the DADA chapter so bad! But it was already over 5,000 words and I figured that was already a bit much, but what do you guys think? What chapter length is good, honestly, like, is this too long? It was just one of those chapters where it was like they were just acting it out right in front of me and all I had to do was right it out and soon enough it was too long for Duncan, because I want that part to be big and I want to give myself time to really write it out. Hope you still enjoyed it!!**

**I also think I'm going to try to put Lily's conversation with Sev next chapter. That's the plan as of now, but as I think I've made clear, plans are subject to change.**

**Also, I've had people tell me that the three relationships are too similar, and I completely agree, so I hope this chapter brings some diversity into it.**

**Also, this is when the characters really start becoming involved, not necessarily in the war, but at least in their world. This is when they really start to care, so some deep stuff in this chapter, especially with Lily and Vanessa, what do you think? Too much? Does it work? I need FEEDBACK!! Haha.**

_**Pearl**_**: I tried to get them into bed together, I really did, but neither of them would have anything to do with it, it just seemed to forced. But I really did try for your sake! Maybe next time, but I'm really thinking they won't go for it until they're dating, but we'll see. (:**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Love you all to bits!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing._


	26. Almost Is Never Good Enough

**Hello, loves!**

**This chapter is almost entirely James and Lily, yay!**

**Thanks a million to _mimimi213, SecretlyAGryffindor, victoriam549, raneonthewyndoepain, iamagriffin, AZNGURL98, xAlexandrite, XxIloveHarryPotterxX, RaindropsOnTheRooftop, Hannah In Wonderland, Sarahrules336, Amanda, ivyflightislistening, lana-bear, Purple13512, pinkpearl89, _and _hpdreamer500_!!**

_Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth, even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright._

**Chapter Twenty-Six: Almost Is Never Good Enough**

"I know we already warned you about this guy once," Alice said as she and her friends queued up outside Professor Duncan Perry's room for Defense Against the Dark Arts. "But he really is an absolute pig, Lily. Just, don't let it catch you off guard."

Lily nodded at her small blond friend. _I don't see why they're so worried about me, _she thought. _With Alice and Nessa here, he probably will hardly even notice me._

She had no idea how very wrong she was.

The Slytherins, who were waiting across the hall, right outside the classroom cast suspicious looks at Lily and James and the redheaded witch rolled her eyes. _Some people are so childish, wasting their own time worrying about what other people are doing. _There was not even any ground to the rumors, and the worst part was that everyone knew that and yet they continued to gossip.

"So, Evans, I hear you and Potter did it the other night," Constance Malfoy sneered, tossing long platinum blonde hair out of her face.

Lily cocked an eyebrow, _is that really the best they can come up with? _"Jealous?"

"You don't deny it?"

Lily shrugged. "Why would I? It's not like it would make you stop talking. I'm just disappointed that it isn't very original. Sleeping together? Really? A monkey could start that one."

Constance pulled a face and opened her mouth to reply when the classroom door opened and fit man with blonde hair and blue eyes greeted them with a shockingly white smile. The Slytherin girl immediately turned away from Lily and smiled back at him, but he paid no attention. Instead, he made his way straight to where Lily, Alice, and Vanessa were standing.

"Miss Reese, Miss Hinton," he greeted, inclining his head to each of them. "And who have we here?"

"Lily, sir," she answered, trying to give the man a chance before she judged him off her friends' opinions. "Lily Evans."

"Miss Evans, then. You must be the lovely young lady who missed my class on Monday. Playing hooky, were you?" he joked, smiling broadly at her as his eyes flitted up and down her body.

"No, sir," she told him, crossing her arms over her chest. "It was… family matters."

"Please, Miss Evans, none of this 'sir' nonsense. It's all casual here. Please," he held out a hand to her. "Call me Duncan."

Lily took his hand and was surprised when he brought it to his lips. She glanced over his shoulder to see James clenching his fists, eyes blazing with fury.

"Er, all right, then," she said, pulling her hand away. She quickly walked around Duncan and stood beside the boys. "And this is James Potter, he was gone Monday as well."

Duncan barely spared James a glance. "Well, Miss Evans, is there a day you would like to come after your lessons to make up what we learned last class?"

"Oh, um, no thank you. Alice and Vanessa already told us all about it," Lily answered. She noticed James shift slightly, putting himself between her and Duncan.

"Have they now?" the man asked, looking at the two of them. He grinned hungrily at Vanessa, who gave him a sarcastic smile and took Remus' hand in her own. Duncan raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Are you two an item then?"

Vanessa rolled her eyes, but it was Remus who answered, his voice forced calm. "Yes, we're dating, and I would appreciate it if you would stop looking at my girlfriend like she's a piece of meat."

Duncan narrowed his eyes. "Detention, Lupin," he snarled after a moment of glaring.

"For what?" James and Sirius exclaimed together.

"It's not like he was lying," Vanessa added.

Duncan grinned at her again and took her chin in his hand roughly. "Maybe not, but what do you expect, sweetheart? You're gorgeous."

Vanessa jaw dropped and she jerked away, sending a rude hand gesture in his direction. Duncan turned to Lily, "and the same goes for you." He reached out a hand to touch Lily's face, but James put himself between them once more.

"If you ever, ever, touch her," he warned him, wand pointed directly at his teacher's face. "Believe me, you will never sleep soundly again."

Duncan took a few steps back. "Threatening a teacher? Detention, Potter."

"Worth it," was James' only reply, eyes narrowed in hatred and a twisted grin on his face. With that, he took Lily's hand and dragged her into the classroom, taking the seat be the door that Sirius had occupied a few days earlier.

"You'd best believe him too," Sirius said, blocking the doorway as Duncan tried to enter. "Do anything to any of them and you should know that all four of us will be on you faster than you can say 'sweetheart'."

"Detention, Black!"

Sirius gave him a menacing grin, more like a dog baring its teeth than a smile. "Gladly."

- - - - - - -

James fumed throughout the entire class, he hardly heard a word of the lecture due to the angry ringing in his ears. How dare Perry talk to Lily like that? How dare he even look at her? He was a teacher for Merlin's sake! How were they expected to learn anything with a perverted, evil man at the head of the class? How could Dumbledore do such a thing?

He did not realize that his hands were still clenched so tightly that his knuckles were white until Lily gently pried one of them open and slid her own fingers between his. He turned to look at her, surprised, and she gave him a small smile.

"You were always there to hold my hand when I was upset," she whispered. "It's the least I can do."

If there were angels on earth, Lily was surely one of them. In one small touch, a smile, and breath in his ear, it was as if nothing had just happened, as if the entire world was at peace around him, and his heart was in a state of absolute bliss.

_Damn_, James thought. He wanted so badly to stay angry at Duncan, to rage, to fume, to wish him to hell, to give the man everything he deserved, but Lily was making that quite impossible. He gave her hand a small squeeze and leaned in, so close he could smell the vanilla scent of her hair and whispered, "thank you."

She winked at him. "Anytime."

_Damn_, James thought again. _Damn, damn, damn_. He would have given up everything he owned to take her in his arms and kiss her just then. However, everything he owned was not enough. He realized that maybe the reason she was asking for friendship, nothing more, was to see if he could control himself.

And he could.

That, of course, might just be wishful thinking. Maybe she only wanted friendship because she did not feel anything else towards him.

But after everything they had been through together over the years, how could she not feel _anything_? Admittedly, they had not always been on the best of terms, but they had lived together for the better part of five years, six now, that had to count for something.

Lily began rubbing gentle circles on the back of his hand and James found it difficult to contain a smile. All of his recent efforts to comfort her must not have been in vain if she felt his technique worth repeating.

He turned and caught her gaze, looking straight into her emerald eyes. He could stare into them forever, count the tiny flecks of gold that you could only see close up, watch the twinkling light that kindled just beneath the surface. Today there was something else in her eyes, a small spark, something James only noticed because he knew her eyes so well when filled with almost every emotion. This though, this he had never seen. It was not a blazing spark of anger, or the beaming light that came to her eyes when she smiled. Nor was it the dancing glimmer that played across them as she battled it out with him as they threw insult and compliment back and forth, or the soft glow that emanated from them when she was completely content. This light, though dim, was strong and constant, all together unwavering, and seemed only to grow stronger as she continued to look fixedly into his own eyes.

That was the last time James Potter ever doubted that Lily loved him.

She might not know it yet, but she did. Eyes were said to be the window to the soul, and Lily's were screaming "I love you," with everything they had. It was there inside her somewhere, he just had to bring it out.

And nothing in the world could make him give up on her now.

- - - - - - -

Lily was somewhat shocked by her own boldness, but she did not regret taking his hand. James was obviously angry with Duncan, _Professor Perry_, Lily corrected herself. It did not matter what he asked her to call him, he was a teacher and should be treated as such.

Whatever his name, James was infuriated, and Lily thought it was kind of… _sweet_. She did not want to admit it, but deep down, what girl does not want someone who would fight the world for them? James had gotten a detention for threatening Professor Perry away from her, and she truly appreciated it. And besides, had he not always been there for her? Holding her hand and making sure she knew that everything would be okay in the end? Friendship could not be one-sided, and she really did want to be his friend, so she was going to show him that.

Something about their intertwined fingers felt familiar to Lily. It was not just because of the number of times he had taken her hand in his, but it felt _right_, they fit, as if they had been cut from the same mold. She shook her head to clear her mind of such thoughts, all hands fit more or less the same, right?

_No_, said the little voice in her head. The one that always sounded strangely like Alice.

Before she could even begin to argue with conscience-Alice, Professor Perry called for everyone to partner up and work on the spell he had taught them.

James immediately pulled Lily to her feet and over to an empty corner, where they were soon joined by Alice, Vanessa, Remus, Sirius, and Peter.

"I don't think so," Professor Perry told them, an evil look in his eye as he approached the group.

"Miss Reese, partner with Miss Malfoy. Miss Hinton, you may stay with Mr. Pettigrew. Black and Lupin with Mulciber and Avery."

Remus and Sirius exchanged significant looks, but followed Vanessa and Alice across the room to where the Slytherins were waiting, smug expressions on their faces.

Lily inched closer to James, hoping to be spared, though she knew it was in vain.

"Potter, with Snape. And Miss Evans, seeing as there is an uneven number, you may work with me," Professor Perry gave her the same hungry grin he had given to Vanessa earlier.

"But -" Lily, James, and Severus all protested together.

"No buts. Get to it."

Lily put on a brave face and followed Professor Perry to the center of the room.

"Now," he instructed. "Before we begin with nonverbal spells, I would like you all to practice the Shield Charm once or twice to regain the feel of it." He turned to Lily. "Ready Miss Evans?"

"Yes, _sir_," she said, somewhat defiantly, bringing her wand to the ready and bracing herself for whatever he might throw at her.

The corner of Perry's lips twitched into a smile before he raised his own wand. "Three, two, one _- Expelliarmus_!"

"_Protego_!" Lily cried. Her Shield was so powerful, Professor Perry was blasted off of his feet and crashed into the padded wall behind him. All around, people lowered their wands and turned to see if he was all right, though, in many cases, they hoped he was not.

"Duncan, Duncan?" Constance Malfoy asked, immediately on his side. "Are you okay?"

"Of course, of course," he brushed her away and stood to face Lily. "That, Miss Evans, was one hell of a spell."

"Are you sure you can handle me as a partner, Professor? Or would you like to swap out with someone a little less," Lily paused for a moment, remembering what he had called Vanessa. "_Fierce?"_

"We'll see how well you manage when you're forced to perform it nonverbally," he told her, grin back in place as he resumed his position. "Shall we?"

- - - - - - -

James watched as Lily shot Duncan off his feet and gave her a triumphant smile, which he was surprised to see mirrored on the face of Severus Snape.

"I thought you lot liked him," James said, more question than statement.

Snape looked him for moment, seemingly choosing his words. "I think I might be the exception if Lily's involved," he said quietly. Realizing that he had dropped his defenses, Snape pointed his wand at James and shouted, "_Expelliarmus_!" before the latter could work out the meaning behind his answer.

"_Protego_!" James yelled, but he was a second too late and his wand flew out of his hand, hitting Constance in the head.

"Pathetic," Duncan sneered at him from across the room. "Even with words you can't defend yourself, how do you plan on managing without them?"

"At least I didn't lose to a girl." James shot him a mutinous look as he retrieved his wand.

"He's just baiting you," Remus told him quietly as James walked by the place he was practicing with Mulciber.

James nodded but kept his mouth firmly shut, thinking that if he opened it, he would not be able to hold back from throwing further insults at Duncan.

"All right, you lot," Duncan said loudly, glaring at James. "Time to try them nonverbally."

James turned back to Snape, who was concentrating very hard. "You first then?" Without giving him a chance to reply, he waved his wand and said, "_Expelliarmus_."

Snape's Shield was misty and weak, but at least he had been able to manage something. Most of the students' wands had flown out of their hands immediately. Snape's had to struggle to break free, but it did.

"Not bad, Miss Reese!" he heard Duncan call and looked to see Vanessa smirk down at Constance Malfoy, who had been thrown off balance by Vanessa's Shield.

James grinned too, glad that a Gryffindor had been successful.

"Your turn, Potter," Snape said, after retrieving his wand.

James nodded and focused every thought on the soft Shied of light that should appear if the spell was performed correctly. He heard Snape mutter something under his breath, something that would do more then disarm James were he hit with it. Silence forgotten, James raised his wand just in time and yelled "_Expelliarmus_!"

It caught Snape right in the chest and the spell, whatever it had been, died on his lips as he was thrown backwards into a desk.

"Potter!" Duncan shouted, at Snape's side in an instant. "We're doing nonverbal spells! And I told you, Shield Charms _only_ for the defender!"

"I guess I forgot," James shrugged, refusing to flinch.

"Well I would suggest you get a rememberall, 'forget' again and it's detention."

James shrugged once more and looked at Lily, mouthing "Sorry." She gave him a tiny smile, and then he looked to Alice and Sirius, who grinned full out.

- - - - - - -

Lily smiled tentatively at James, knowing he had not attacked Severus purely because he felt like it. He had been honest when he had promised that he would not hurt Sev, and she believed him. On top of that, James was trying to control his temper against the new teacher. He was growing up after all. This Professor Perry, though, was too much and Lily was beyond relieved when the bell rang. She and her friends quickly shoved everything into their bags and hurried out of the room, more than eager to get away.

They were on their way to lunch when Lily saw Severus turn off down a side corridor.

_Better now than never_, she though, summoning all of her courage.

"You go on," she told her friends. "I have to run to the library, I'll catch up."

"Are you sure?" James asked.

"Yes, I'll be right back!" Lily called over her shoulder, following her once best friend.

She walked briskly and caught him right before he descended into the dungeons.

"Severus," she whispered. He looked back over his should and a puzzled expression crossed his face. "I need to talk to you."

Lily felt odd saying this, she felt she had crossed some unknown boundary, but she had promised herself she would do this for Stella, and she was going to do it.

"About what?" he asked warily.

Lily shook her head. "Not here." She motioned for him to follow and lead him to a classroom off the Entrance Hall and glanced around. _How fitting_, she thought sarcastically. It was the same one James had taken her to a few nights ago, though it felt more like a lifetime.

"What's this about?" Severus asked, standing in the middle of the room with his arms crossed defensively.

"I…" Now that she was here, Lily did not know how to begin.

"Well?"

Lily could not bring herself to look at him as she said it. "I need your help."

When he was silent, she forced her eyes upward, studying his surprised expression. She had caught him off guard, and he seemed to be struggling to find the words he wanted to use.

In the end, it seemed cynicism won out. "Why me? Why don't you just ask Potter?"

"Because this has nothing to do with him," Lily said, working hard to keep her temper in check and her voice under control.

"Really? Because it seems to me as though your life revolves around him."

Lily closed her eyes briefly. _No matter what he's acting like, this is Sev, Lily. You can still talk to him._ "Listen to me, Severus, please. You're the only one who can help me."

Severus' eyebrows rose. "And why is that?"

"Because," she began, taking a deep breath and praying that he would not hate her for what she was about to say. "Because of your friends."

"What? Look, I know you don't like them, but I've made my choice and -"

"Sev!" His old nickname felt good on her lips, familiar. "It's not like that. Some of your friends are Death Eaters right?"

He nodded slowly, looking confused as to where this was going.

"Then have you heard of Stella Redwood?" Lily asked hopefully.

The change in demeanor was almost frightening. Severus froze, his black eyes darting around as those of someone looking for an escape. He was obviously very uncomfortable with the turn this conversation had taken.

"I, er… No. I haven't."

Lily was almost amused. "Come on, I know when you're lying. To be honest, the giant squid could have picked up on that one."

And then he almost smiled.

Too bad almost is never good enough.

"Maybe I have, but what does it matter?" Severus asked, maintaining his aloof countenance.

Lily let out an impatient huff. "Look, I need to know where they took her and why."

"And what makes you think I'm going to tell you?"

This time, Lily closed her eyes against the pain that pierced her heart with his cold and uncaring tone. "Because," she told him softly. "I would still do it for you."

"I thought you were through with me," Severus said, expression torn between sorrow and disgust. "I guess that was just until you needed a favor."

Lily's temper flared. "No, Severus. I never said that I was through with you! I gave you every chance in the world! It was your own fault for choosing the Death Eaters over me!" She took a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself. "_But_, that isn't the point. If you ever need my help, Severus, I'll be there, and if you never want to see me again, I'll be gone in the blink of an eye, but just give me this one thing, Sev, please."

- - - - - - -

As if Severus could ever deny her anything. He looked down at her as she pleaded with him, asking something so simple of him, yet he could not tell her what she wanted.

"Look, Lily, it's better for you if I don't tell you, it's for your own good."

With a small smile Lily said, "in case you haven't noticed, I'm not really a 'for my own good' type of person. I want to help her."

That was his Lily, self-sacrifice was second nature to her. This was why he had told Potter about the kidnapped girl, rather than anyone else. Though he loathed Potter with every fiber of his being, Severus knew that the git would still do everything he could to protect her, and therefore would never tell her about her friend because they both knew she would go off to try and help her, with no thought for her personal safety.

"I know you do, which is why I can't say anything."

Lily let groaned in frustration. "I'll find out another way then. I just thought this would save time and energy, but I will find out. Who knows?" she added with a sly grin. "I might put myself into more danger figuring it out that actually saving her."

Severus knew what she was doing, it was as obvious as if she had screamed her true intentions from the top of the North Tower, but even though she was saying that to convince him to tell her the truth, he knew she really would put herself in harm's way to find the answer she was looking for.

He stared down at her, into her perfect almond shaped, brilliant green eyes and felt all of his defenses crumble to dust. Severus heaved a defeated sigh.

"If I tell you, you have to promise me two things."

"Of course," Lily said immediately, brightening. "What?"

Severus hesitated. "Promise me that once you know what's going on, you will tell Dumbledore and allow him to handle things, and that you won't go looking for her yourself."

Lily stared at him for a moment. "Tell me first, and then I'll make my promises."

"No way, if I tell you, you won't do it."

"I will," she said defiantly, crossing her arms. "It just depends on the nature of what you have to say. I will swear on everything I own unless there is a seriously valid reason for me not to."

"Lily, I know you, and I know that if I tell you, you are going to go looking for her, which is why you have to promise me first.

"Sev, I can't," she whispered, her voice suddenly weak. "What if it's all my fault? I mean, the only reason the Death Eaters have any connection with her is because I knew her, even if it was only briefly."

Severus shook his head. That was one thing he most definitely would not explain, if just to keep Lily's patched-up heart from shattering completely.

"Listen to me, Lily. They… they're keeping her at Malfoy Manner, all right? But it has nothing to do with you, so please, _please_, just tell Dumbledore and forget about it." The girl was there, yes, but the second part of what he said was a lie.

"Thank you," she said softly, a small smile forming on her face. Lily paused for a moment, thinking. "It still isn't too late, you know," she told him, looking him directly in the eye in a way that seemed to pierce his very soul. "You could still come back, fight on our side. We could be friends again."

He wanted that, oh how he wanted that. He knew that it could not be, though, for the Dark Lord would find out and Severus was not strong enough to deal with the consequences. He had spent his entire childhood being told by his father that he was not good enough, or brave enough, or smart enough, and after a while, those ideas had taken hold in Severus' own heart. It was only when he was working for his master that he felt he was truly worth something. _Though_, said a little voice in the back of his mind, a voice that had long ago taken on Lily's musical tone, _she always treated you as if you meant something to her. You were her best friend, and she cared about you. You could join her, you love her._

Snape opened his mouth slightly, and almost told Lily that he would finally take her up on her offer. Almost.

Too bad almost is never good enough.

_____________________________________________________

**Yay! They finally met Duncan! WOO! And Lily and Severus had their little talk, so I guess we'll just have to wait and see what Lily does with that information.**

**And sorry this one was shorter, but it just felt right to end it there, you know? And sorry that the other characters weren't in this one a whole lot, but this is a L/J fic. XD**

**And also, someone suggested that James and Snape have a duel, and as much as even I would like to see that, James would never do that to Lily. He made a promise to her and he is going to keep it, however, that does not mean that someone else won't duel him eventually. ;) Though I must say, Snape is one of my very favorite characters and I was thrilled that I finally got to write him.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!!**

**Tell me who your favorite character is in the story (I'll tell you right now I love Alice, Ness, Remus, and Snape). What was your favorite line? And please please please tell me what you would like to see in upcoming chapters. I have the storyline set, but little plot twists and fun things are always wonderful!!**

**Ah, and if any of you have a good idea for a prank they can pull, I'm all ears (or eyes, I suppose, haha).**

**Love you all to bits!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_And it is the choices we make in these moments that define us for eternity._


	27. So Much More Than Love And War

**So this is the longest chapter so far by at least 2,000 words, let me know if that's too long!**

**And Happy November everyone!**

**Many many thanks to _hpdreamer500, LazyLibra, raneonthewyndoepane, RaindropsOnTheRooftop, wickdwrtr, Marteczka's Quill, SecretlyAGryffindor, Amanda, Hannah In Wonderland, Alla. XXIloveHarryPotterXx, Sarahrules336, iamagriffin, gallaghergirl702, pinkpearl89, Kmonae, _and _ashl3yj0nas43v3r_ for the awesome reviews!**

**This chapter is dedicated to _ashl3yj0nas43v3r_! Thanks for the wonderfully long reviews! They were fantastic and you have no idea how much I appreciate them! (And I am quite interested to hear this window story of yours!)**

**Also, I would like to do a bit of advertising for an author called _Taylusia_. She has a story called _Give Me One Good Reason _and I have fallen in love with it. It's about Sirius' family and how he came to be who he is, but it's a really different take on the whole thing. You should all go review so maybe she will update! (:**

**Oh and one more thing! Since the chapters are so long, I have a request for my reviewers! If you open the review box before you read you can review as you go, so you can comment on everything and not forget something. I really like to hear people's takes on every aspect of the story, so if you could do that I will be thrilled!**

**Sorry for the long note! But you get a long chapter to go with it!**

_Nothing but Heaven itself is better than a friend who is really a friend._

**Chapter Twenty Seven: So Much More Than Love and War**

"It's disgusting!" Vanessa ranted as she paced back and forth in front of the fire. She and Remus had come back up to the Common Room during the lunch period after she had just about snapped on a poor second year for staring at her too long. "This Duncan Perry has no right to look at us like that, or talk to us the way he does! He's a _teacher_! It's completely improper."

"I agree," Remus said, a revolted expression on his face. "I thought James was going to lose it and strangle him on the spot."

Vanessa shook her head and threw herself into the chair beside him. "I can't say I would have stopped him."

"Nor would I," Remus told her seriously. "But if he wants to prove to Lily that he has matured, then that really isn't the best thing for him to do."

"You never know, maybe she'd appreciate the 'knight in shining armor' effort."

He gave her a small smile. "James hung up that rusty armor ages ago. He realized Lily doesn't need saving, and that she doesn't want anyone to try it."

"So James is content with letting her fight her own battles?" Vanessa asked, leaning forward slightly in the chair to bring them closer together.

Remus laughed. "More than that, in the past he's even been known to fight them _against_ her."

Vanessa gasped in mock-surprise. "You don't say? I never noticed!" she said, her voice thick with sarcasm.

"It's true." He nodded solemnly, but a grin spread across his face. "Anyway, feeling better?"

She smiled at him, a genuine smile. How did he always manage to do that? "Yes, much. Thanks, Rem."

He retuned her smile. "Of course. Now you'd best get to Divination, you're about to be late."

"Good grief, Duncan _and _Divination? This is just my lucky day," she said, but stood anyway. He did the same.

Vanessa hesitated for a moment, unsure if she should do it. _"The way I see it, when you're in a relationship with someone, you have to just be yourself around them. Just say what you want to say, do what you want to do." _Her own words rang through her head and so she stood on her toes and kissed him swiftly, hardly giving him time to react before pulling away. "See you later."

He smiled warmly at her, making her feel comfortable and at peace with the world. _Amazing what a guy can do, _she thought, before grabbing her bag and climbing out of the portrait hole.

- - - - - - -

Deep in the dark, musty cellar of Malfoy Manor, a tall girl whose long blond hair was matted and tangled with blood looked up into the icy blue eyes of her captor.

"What do you want from me?" Stella spat, hoping she sounded braver than she felt as she pulled against the thick ropes that bound her hands firmly behind her back.

He bent down and stroked her cheek almost lovingly as he answered. "Simple, I just want to know where Lily Evans is."

"Why? What has she got to do with anything?" This was, well, this was _magic_ they were talking about! Surely Lily was not involved in all of this; she couldn't be.

He grinned wickedly. "The Dark Lord wants her on his side. He has heard much about her and feels that she might be a real… _asset _to his cause."

"_Lily_? Why?" Since she had been here, Stella had learned much about this 'Lord Voldemort,' and she could not think of a single thing that might link the sweet, caring, redhead who threw her heart into things with such a passion to one of the most powerful and evil men in the world.

-SMACK-

"Do not ask questions, Redwood!" he yelled and Stella felt the bruise beginning to form across the right side of her face. "Where is Lily Evans!?"

"I don't know!" Stella hissed. "And even if I did, why would I tell you?"

He laughed a cold cruel laugh. "Why would you tell me? Because your own life depends on it! You hardly knew her, why should you care?"

"Because, believe it or not, some people in this world have hearts, they care about other people. It doesn't matter if you know them at all, I would not wish this on my worst enemy."

"And who might that be?" he sneered.

It was Stella's turn to laugh., it came out slightly hysterical as she fought against all of her instincts and tried to remain calm. "You're pretty high on the list at the moment. Why would you pick me anyway? Like you said, I hardly knew Lily, how should I know where she is?"

"There are other reasons you are here as well, Redwood."

Stella tried to hide her surprise. "Oh? And what would your master want with me?"

"He does not share his plans, but I'm sure you'll find out soon enough. There is an initiation tonight, mine in fact, so he shall be here shortly."

With that, he ran a finger down the side of her face, then stood and left through the heavy wooden door that locked her away from all the world.

- - - - - - -

Lily, Alice, Vanessa, James, Remus, Frank, Sirius, and Peter sat in a kind of nervous silence at breakfast on Saturday. It was the day of the first Hogsmeade trip of the year, and therefore, the day they were planning on speaking to Professor Dumbledore. They each wanted to do their part, Lily knew, but the first step would be the hardest. Or at least that was what she hoped.

As students began making their way to the oak front doors, Lily and her friends stood as well and fought against the flow of traffic, trying to get to the stairs that would lead to the headmaster's office. Once they reached the gargoyle, James spoke the password ("sugar quill"), and led the way up the spiral steps. He knocked on the door and they were almost immediately called inside.

"Ah," Dumbledore said as they filed in. "I was wondering when you all would arrive."

"Excuse me, sir?" Lily asked, looking to see if the others were just as confused by this statement.

Dumbledore's blue eyes twinkled. "I presume you are here to ask if you may fight in this war?"

"Er, yes," was all Lily could say, bewildered.

Alice, always more eloquent, saved her. "How did you know, Professor?"

"Miss Hinton, you have been at this school for six years now. I may not be in the classroom with you, but I do know my students, and as such, know that all of you will want to do what you can."

"So does that mean you'll let us?" Sirius asked hopefully.

"This, I am afraid, is where conflict arises," Dumbledore began. "I have spoken to the Minister of Magic, Jethro Bones, and he believes students must not be a part of this until they are out of school. I disagree, naturally, what better way to learn than through experience? This is precisely why I hired Professor Perry."

"Sir, I don't understand," Lily said.

Dumbledore was practically beaming at them. It was a look of a child who had won at his favorite game. "I think you do, Lily. With a teacher who fails to teach adequately, what must you do?"

"Well," Lily answered, unsure where he was going. "You have to teach yourself."

"Exactly! Students must learn to stand on their own or give up altogether, which will show who the true fighters will be."

"But, sir," Vanessa piped up. "What if students are hurt because of this?"

"Miss Reese, I would not do this if I did not have absolute faith in my students. My seventh years can handle themselves, and the first years will have a new instructor next year."

"You don't plan on re-hiring him?" Lily asked, letting out a sigh of relief.

"I presume you have noticed, Miss Evans, that no one has kept the Defense Against the Dark Arts position for more than a year?"

Lily nodded.

"Let's just say I do not think Professor Perry strong enough to break the mold. Anyway, back to business. You want to know what you can do to help?"

"Yes, sir," they answered in unison.

"Then, for now, I suggest you do all you can to help the younger students, teach them basic Defense and whatnot. Do not go out of your way to collect information, but if you hear anything that may be of use, be sure to report it to me immediately. Unfortunately, there is currently no _organized_ way for students to take part in this just yet."

Sirius looked like he wanted to argue, so Lily placed a hand on his arm and spoke before he would get the chance. "Thank you, Professor, if there is anything else, please let us know." She turned and pulled Sirius out of the office, closely followed by the others.

"That's not good enough," Sirius hissed. "People are dying and we are perfectly capable of taking action."

"Sirius, listen," James began, moving to stand directly in front of his best friend. "We can make the most of this, all right? And did you hear what Dumbledore really said?"

"What do you mean?"

"He said there was no _organized_ way for us to help. He was practically telling us that even though he can't really give us anything to do, we can come up with something on our own."

They all brightened at this idea.

"We can work within the school," Vanessa suggested. "I mean, we know there are students here training to be - or already are - Death Eaters. We can make sure that they are of no use to Voldemort's cause."

"She's right," Remus added. "We know from last year that Mulciber or Avery is willing to use the Unforgivable Curses, why could there not be more?"

Lily, feeling as though someone had put a bullet through her heart, thought of Severus. "I'm _sure_ there are more, and it shouldn't be that hard to pick out who they are. Maybe we could feed them false information or something."

"It's a good plan," Alice agreed. "That way, the Ministry can't get mad at Dumbledore for putting us in harm's way, _and_ we'd be cutting off whatever source of information the Death Eaters have inside Hogwarts."

Sirius nodded. "If that's the best we can do," he sighed in a defeated sort of way before his eyes began blazing and his voice became fierce. "But we had better do one hell of a job."

Now with a mission and hearts all aflutter, the eight of them made their way back down to Entrance Hall and fell into line with the rest of the students, ready to enjoy a much needed Hogsmeade weekend.

- - - - - - -

After receiving a few painful jabs with a security sensor from the caretaker, Alice grabbed Frank's hand and all but skipped down the path that led to Hogsmeade Village. The weather was perfect in the little blonde's opinion. The sky was blue with a few white puffy clouds and a gentle breeze blew through the crisp autumn leaves. The very air itself smelled of fall and to get out of the castle was like emerging from a dungeon.

One of the most magical things about the all-magic village was that it never failed to lessen any worries that plagued Alice's heart. It was as though just being there lifted her burdens and put her into a carefree, joyous state unmatched by anything in the world.

"Somebody's in a good mood," Frank observed, a playful smile on his face.

Alice grinned up at him. "I don't know why, honestly," she teased. "The prospect of having to spend he whole day with you? I shudder at the very thought."

"So that's how it's going to be," Frank joked, before picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder.

"Hey!" Alice yelled through her laughter. "What are you doing?"

"Teaching you some manners, of course," he told her, trying to keep a straight face.

Alice began pounding her fists on his back in a desperate attempt to get down.

"Now let's see," Frank continued, spinning around. "Would you care to be dropped in the lake with the giant squid, or in the rubbish bin outside The Hog's Head."

"Frank Neville Longbottom! Don't you dare!" Alice exclaimed, knowing he would never actually do it.

"I don't think that was in option," he mused, spinning again and making her quite dizzy. He set her down and she could hardly stand due to the fact that the world appeared crooked to her swimming mind. "Now, I'll give you a chance to run."

"That is so unfair!" Alice whined, taking a step and nearly falling.

Frank winked at her. "No one ever said life was fair, sweetie."

Alice stuck her tongue out at him before her foot caught on a rock in the path and she tripped.

"Saved your life," Frank whispered in her ear as he grabbed her right before she hit the ground. "You owe me."

"Oh, do I now?" Alice grinned, raising an eyebrow. "And what exactly would you like as payment?"

Frank smiled mischievously, pulling her back into a standing position, face inches from hers. "I could think of a few things."

She opened her mouth to reply, but he cut her off with a kiss. It was gentle, yet playful, and Alice smiled into his mouth before kissing him back. She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her and he put his own on her waist.

"EW!" came a voice from behind them.

Alice and Frank groaned simultaneously before turning to see their friends standing on the path behind them.

"Sirius!" Alice scolded jokingly. "Can't you see we were busy? Just because you can't get a girlfriend does not mean you can barge in on other people's relationships."

Sirius pretended to be hurt. "I will have you know that I could have a girlfriend whenever I wanted. I just haven't found the right one yet."

"Mmhmm," Alice teased, rolling her eyes.

Sirius grinned and ruffled her hair. "Come on, Al, you know its true."

"Whatever you say, Sirius," Alice laughed. "Now, if you lot will excuse us, I think Frank and I were busy."

"Okay, okay," Sirius chuckled, holding his hands up in surrender. "We're leaving. Be good now. Remember, the best birth control -"

"Sirius!" Frank and Alice yelled together, turning slightly pink.

He winked at them and led the others on up the path toward Hogsmeade. Lily and Vanessa smiled at her, shooting knowing looks when Frank was not paying attention and went on their way as well.

Frank turned back to Alice and grinned. "So… Where were we?"

- - - - - - -

Vanessa could not contain a smile as she looked upon Hogsmeade Village for the first time that year. High Street was brightly lit by the noon day sun, showing off the quaint shops on either side. The Three Broomsticks reached taller than most of the buildings, coaxing many Hogwarts students in for a butterbeer. Zonko's Joke Shop stood out in vivid color, welcoming anyone in need of a laugh. Owls of all shapes and sizes circled their towering spire-like homes in the post office on the corner. Delectable scents wafted from the open doors of Honeydukes Sweetshop, and Gladrags Wizardwear and Dervish & Banges had their windows thrown wide to the cool September air. The Shrieking Shack - known as the most haunted dwelling in all of Britain - stood out in sharp relief against the mountains beyond the village; it sat atop a hill that students rarely climbed except around Halloween.

Breathing in the myriad of smells, Vanessa - still grinning - turned to her friends.

"So, Moony," James smirked, elbowing his friend in the ribs. "What do you plan on doing for Miss Reese on this lovely fall day?"

Remus' ears turned pink under his light brown hair, and Vanessa rolled her eyes, linking her slender fingers through his.

"Come on, Rem, let's go to Madam Puddifoot's," Vanessa joked, cocking an eyebrow. "Maybe we'll see Alice and Frank."

The expression on his face caused his friends to burst out laughing.

"I'm kidding! I'm _kidding_!" Vanessa giggled, walking backwards and pulling him down the street. "Let's go to Dervish & Banges, I'm almost out of ink."

Sirius shook his head in a disapproving way. "Oh, Nessa. Nessa, Nessa, Nessa. Only you would shop for school supplies on a first date."

"I don't know, mate," James said, draping an arm around Lily's shoulders. "This young lady here might give our Nessa a run for her money."

"Hey!" Lily exclaimed, shrugging away from him. "I don't believe _you_, James Potter, have any reason to know what I would or would not do on a first date."

"Ouch," Vanessa and Remus said together as Sirius and Peter fought laughter and James grasped his heart in mock-offense.

"Lily Claire Evans," James scolded, a smile clearly trying to force its way onto his face. "I don't even have a reply to such a wicked comment."

She grinned. "Think hard, I'm sure you can come up with something."

Vanessa rolled her eyes, pulling Remus further up High Street. "Let's leave them too it, shall we?"

"Best idea I've heard all day."

They walked hand-in-hand through the crowded street, dodging many Hogwarts students as well as the occasional goblin or warlock. For the life of her, Vanessa could not think of anywhere she would rather be.

"That's quite a smile," Remus commented, grinning down at her.

Vanessa beamed back up at him. "I just can't stop!" she exclaimed delightedly. "I mean, what could be more perfect than Hogsmeade in the fall?"

He shook his head in an amused sort of way.

"What?"

"You're just funny. The simplest things make you so happy sometimes," Remus told her, opening the door to Dervish & Banges and letting her through first.

Vanessa began perusing the various inks, from color changing to self-correcting. "And is that a bad thing?" she inquired, still smiling.

"Not at all," Remus answered. "But it does make me wonder if that means I'm simple as well."

Vanessa let out a loud laugh. "Remus Lupin, you are anything but simple."

"Just making sure," he grinned, taking her hand in his again.

Vanessa could not have stopped smiling if she had tried. Here they were on their first date, and he had already become so used to the idea that he was willing to hold her hand right in the middle of Hogsmeade. If she had ever had reason to doubt there this relationship would not work out, they were washed from her mind in that single, simple moment.

- - - - - - -

Lily grinned. "Think hard, I'm sure you can come up with something."

James did not take his eyes from Lily's as Sirius grabbed the back of Peter's shirt and dragged him toward Zonko's. "We'll leave you too it, mate. Pete and I are going to pick up a few things for our prank."

"But… OH!" Peter exclaimed as he slowly came to an understanding.

"Well," James said, standing with Lily in the middle of High Street as Sirius and Peter walked away. "I could have said that the only reason I don't know what you would or would not do on a date is entirely your fault."

Lily felt her face flush and turned away.

James took her shoulders and gently pulled her around to face him. "And that's why I didn't want to say that in front of the others. Come on, let's go have a butterbeer, shall we?"

Much as Lily hated to admit it, James never ceased to amaze her.

She nodded and followed him into the crowded pub. They ordered their butterbeers and found a small empty table near the back of the large room where they sat down together.

"Well, this is certainly interesting," Lily commented, a small smile on her face.

James tilted him head inquiringly. "Why is that?"

"James, it's _me _and _you_, sitting here _together_. At this time last year, I would have been trying to avoid this very thing at all costs."

He chuckled. "Well, with all of our friends pairing off, we don't seem to have much choice."

"Pairing off?" Lily raised an eyebrow. "Hmm, somehow Peter doesn't seem to be Sirius' type, but whatever floats his boat."

"You know what I mean," James grinned. "Sirius could do much better than Peter anyway, I mean, have you _seen _Sirius? Even I would go for a piece of _that_."

Lily laughed at his joke. "Oh, it seems I have some competition now, do I?"

"Believe me, Lily, no one even comes close," James told her, suddenly quite serious. He was looking at her with those piercing hazel eyes in a way that made her wonder how she had ever missed the good in him.

She felt her cheeks flush slightly and looked away again. _Good grief, Lily, when did you become such a coward?_

"Sorry," James muttered, staring off into space as his own ears turned slightly pink. "I really don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything. I just -"

"It's okay," Lily cut him off, giving him smile. "It's almost kind of… touching," she admitted.

James' face lit up. "Really? That's a shock, coming from you."

"I know, I know," Lily said, rolling her eyes. "High and mighty Lily Evans can't handle a compliment."

James looked as though he wanted to argue, but Lily cut him off. "As long as we're here, I wanted to ask you something."

"All right," James replied, a slightly exasperated look on his face at her wildly transparent attempt to change the subject.

"You're Quidditch captain! Why didn't you tell me?"

"That was random," he commented, raising an eyebrow.

Lily shrugged. "Everything has just been so serious lately, anything half-ways normal seems that way. But you didn't answer my question."

"Well, I guess after everything that happened, it just didn't seem all that important," he told her, his hazel eyes burning into her green ones, but this time she held his gaze. "And, Lily, I don't want to freak you out, I mean this completely platonically: you're more important to me than Quidditch, your problems were bigger than a title and a badge, if you know what I mean."

Somehow, Lily doubted he actually meant it the way he said he did, but at least he was trying to keep things on a friendly level for once. "Well, thank you," she told him, giving him a smile and swishing her butterbeer around in the mug. "But you can tell me that kind of stuff too, you know. It can make things seem a little better. Besides, that's what friends do, right? If you have good news, just tell me."

James grinned broadly. "So you really accept the fact that we're friends now?"

"Of course," Lily replied. "How could I not?" She paused for a moment, trying to put her thoughts into words. "You know," she began slowly. "I've been thinking about the whole thing recently, and I mean, it's like I have all the power, you know? It was all up to me that we could even be friends at all, and I have the power to end it with no fear of you trying to."

James gave her a quizzical look. "Lily, I know, and I've accepted that completely, but where are you going with this?"

"Well, I've heard that the power in any relationship is with whoever cares less, and that's a true statement, I can't deny it," she paused again, thinking a moment before continuing. "But I thought about it and I realized that I don't _want _to have that power anymore, honestly. I think real friendship isn't about power at all, to have real friends, both parties have to relinquish their power and just be mutually content to just sort of… _be_. Does that make sense?"

He stared at her for a while in silence before a grin split his face and lit up his eyes. "Yes, it does. But Lily, darling, believe me, you will never, ever, be able to let go of the power you have over me. Probably because I'm willingly giving it to you. So whether you want to be or not, you will always be the one that cares less."

"Well that's hardly fair," she told him, crossing her arms defiantly.

He winked at her. "All's fair in love in war."

"Too bad that hardly even _begins_ to describe out relationship."

- - - - - - -

After leaving Dervish & Banges, Remus and Vanessa wandered the streets of Hogsmeade aimlessly for a while.

"So," she asked, looking at the displays in shop windows. "Anywhere you particularly want to go?"

Remus shook his head. "Not that I can think of, as long as it's not Madam Puddifoot's."

Vanessa laughed and spun in a circle, looking at all of the possibilities. "What about the Shrieking Shack? I haven't been to see it in years."

"Er," Remus said, shuddering involuntarily. "If you want…"

"What's wrong, Rem?" she asked, raising an eyebrow inquisitively.

He seemed to snap out of his thoughts. "Oh, it's nothing, let's go."

"All right…" she answered unsurely, following him up the hill off of High Street towards the run down, dismal building. "You're not scared, are you?"

Remus chuckled lightly. "Not of haunting spirits, at least."

"Then what?" Vanessa had found that with Remus, persistence was key. He would open up, it just took a little time.

He looked around at the crowded town warily. "I'll tell you when we get there."

They walked in silence a few moments more before they reached the gate that kept people away. Staring up at the creepy decaying house, Vanessa subconsciously moved closer to Remus. He smiled down at her with his tired grey eyes and wrapped and arm around her shoulders. She grinned at this show of affection and put her own thin arms around his waist, hugging him close.

"So what really bothers you about this place?" she asked softly, breathing in the familiar earthy smell combined with the light fragrance of simple soap.

He sighed before answering. "Well, I can tell you for a fact that ghosts don't haunt it. But the 'shrieks' the villagers say they hear are quite real."

"I don't understand," Vanessa said, furrowing her brow in confusion.

"They don't really notice, but the noises only come during full moon," he hinted.

"But then - OH!" she exclaimed, smacking her forehead in sudden realization. "It's _you_."

He nodded solemnly. "It was part of Dumbledore's plan to keep students safe while I was hear."

"But how do you get inside? It's supposed to be impossible."

"Not for a Marauder," he told her, smiling down at her mischievously. "Do you remember what Dumbledore told us on our first night at school first year? About a specific tree being planted on the grounds?"

Vanessa nodded. "Of course, the Whomping Willow. How could I forget? I nearly took Alice's head off once during Herbology."

Remus flinched. "They planted it because of me. There's a tunnel underneath that leads right into the Shrieking Shack. That's where I go every full moon."

Looking up at the Shack, Vanessa felt pain shoot through her heart. What an awful thing, to have to visit that place every month with no hope of ever being cured. She tightened her arms around him and pressed her face into his chest, knowing that a hug would never solve his problems, but she earnestly hoped that it would prove she would be there to help him get through them. She felt Remus stiffen after a moment and wondered if she had made him uncomfortable. This was not the case, however, as she learned when…

"Get away from her, werewolf!" screeched a very unwelcome voice behind her. A jet of light hit the two of them and they were blasted apart.

Vanessa looked up to see Professor Perry standing in front of where she lay with his wand out - pointed directly at Remus' heart.

"What are you doing?" she yelled back, jumping up and trying to force his outstretched arm away.

Duncan pushed her back again, not taking his eyes off of Remus, who had drawn his own wand. "Do you know what this, this _thing_ is?"

She could have exploded from anger right then and there. "How dare you?" she screamed, running around Perry and standing between his wand and Remus. "How dare you talk about him like he isn't even human?"

"He's a bloody werewolf!"

"So?" Vanessa asked coldly, narrowing her eyes.

"Ness -" Remus began, but Perry cut him off.

"So? What do you mean 'so?'" Duncan yelled back, eyes wide in disbelief. "They're dangerous!"

"Only during full moon" Vanessa pointed out. "The rest of the time he's no different than you or me. Well, actually, he _is_ quite different than you, thank Merlin, but-"

"But he's an outcast to society! If Dumbledore knew -"

"Dumbledore does know! And you know what? He doesn't care! He treats Remus just the same as everyone else! People themselves are not outcasts, its others' views of them that make them that way!"

Duncan sputtered for a moment before regaining his composure. "But you let him touch you!"

Vanessa backed up, a smirk on her face and took Remus' hand defiantly in her own. "What, _Professor_? Are you jealous?"

"Vanessa -" Remus tried again, but this time he was cut off by a spell from Perry's wand.

"_Impedimenta_!"

The curse was aimed directly at Remus, but as he and Vanessa braced themselves, it flew off-course. They looked to see Duncan being pinned to the ground by a huge, shaggy black dog. The Professor let out a yell as the dog snarled threateningly down at him, just inches from his face. It let out a booming bark that reverberated off the surrounding trees before getting off of him, and Duncan leapt to his feet and ran flat out down the hill and back into town, yelling, "you'll regret that, wolf!"

"Rem," Vanessa whispered turning to Remus and wrapping her arms around him. "He was way out of line, he shouldn't have-"

Remus sighed. "But he really wasn't; that's the normal reaction."

"Well then it's wrong!" Vanessa exclaimed, leaning back and poking him in the chest. "And you shouldn't just sit back and take it!"

She would have continued, but instead she jumped when she felt something furry rub against her fingers.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, smiling at the big black dog. "I guess we should say thank you!" Vanessa knelt down and scratched it behind the ears. It barked happily and licked her in the face.

"Ew!" she giggled, pushing him away playfully. "Wait, did he just _roll his eyes_?"

Remus gave her a funny look, though he seemed slightly uneasy. "Are you all right, Ness? I think you're seeing things."

But Vanessa stared intently into the dog's dark brown eyes and noticed something familiar about them. It was a simple thing really, just a playful spark, but she knew those eyes.

"Sirius?" she breathed, almost nose-to-nose in her efforts to learn who he was.

The dog looked startled, then sheepish, before Vanessa found herself face to face with Sirius Black.

- - - - - - -

Contrary to popular belief, Alice and Frank did not head straight to Madam Puddifoot's upon reaching Hogsmeade. Instead, they made their way down one of the back streets to an off-the-beaten-path pub known as the Hog's Head.

"You'll really like Aberforth," Frank told Alice, who had never even heard of the place before. "He has some great stories, and he makes the best butterbeer around. He adds caramel and honey and I swear it'll be the best thing you've ever tasted."

"So what made you ever think to come here in the first place?" Alice asked, looking uneasily at the wooden high hanging above the door - a chopped-of boar's head bleeding ink.

Frank opened the creaky door and gave Alice a gentle nudge to get her inside. It was dark, the windows obscured by a thick layer of dust and grime and only a few small candles flickered meagerly on the tables. Behind the bar stop a man whom Alice assumed must be Aberforth. He was taller - even more so than Frank - and his long grey hair and beard were wild in a way reminiscent of the Hogwarts gamekeeper. His eyes, however, reminded her of someone far more regal. They twinkled from within their blue depths, giving the young couple a stare worthy of Professor Dumbledore himself.

"Well," Frank began, approaching the bar and giving the man a grin. "Back in third year, our first Hogsmeade trip was right after the first Quidditch game of the season. Two of your special butterbeers, please, Aberforth. And this is Alice, my girlfriend."

"About time!" Aberforth said enthusiastically, and they took seats at the bar as he set about making their drinks. "I've been asking Frank for years when he's going to bring a lady around, told him to warn me and I'd clean the place up a bit."

Alice giggled. "I guess he didn't tell you then? Well, that's quite all right, I kind of like it the way it is."

"Anyway," Frank continued, ears turning pink. "During that game - this was back when I played Chaser - I took a bludger to the head."

"Oh, that's right!" Alice exclaimed. "That was when you ended up in the Hospital Wing with a concussion!"

Frank gave her a small smile. "Yes, exactly. Well, I didn't want to miss my first Hogsmeade trip, so McGonagall convinced Madam Pomfrey to let me go. Once I got here, though, I had a hard time remembering where I was, what I was doing, and I accidentally stumbled in here."

"That's right," Aberforth chipped in, setting mugs in front of them and making one for himself. "I made him stay with me until someone from the school could bring him back, by which time he had started to come around."

Frank nodded, he and Aberforth smiling at the memory. "Anyway," Frank went on. "After that, The Hog's Head became my favorite place in the town, I come here every trip."

"Aye," Aberforth agreed, sighing sadly and taking a swig from his own steaming mug. "He's about the only regular business I get since The Three Broomsticks moved in. Well, aside from the occasional outcast who likes to drop by. I don't ask no questions, see?" he told Alice, slightly proud. "They can come here knowing I won't rat no one out or bother their own personal affairs."

"I was talking to this one bloke," Frank added. "He said if this place ever closed down he wouldn't know what to do with himself. He said society's outcasts need a place to congregate, where they can stick together and have a sense of acceptance, and he said that was what this place was to him."

"What kind of outcasts?" Alice asked, taking a tentative sip of her butterbeer. "This is delicious!"

"Thank you, miss," Aberforth acknowledged. "And they're folks that most people don't want around, people that are a but different. Dwarves, goblins, vampires, werewolves, hags, squibs, even the occasional part-giant. The Ministry's got something against them and the rest of the world just happily goes along with it. But not here, no sir, here's a place where anyone's accepted for any reason."

Alice could not help but smile. Of all the places Frank could have taken her on a date, he chose the run down pub on the backstreets of town, with an aging bartender who seemed to have something to say about everything. Had he told her this was where they were going this morning, Alice probably would have tried to talk him out of it, but listening to Aberforth talk was sort of like listening to a respected grandfather or something of that sort, and, though it was quite the unconventional date, Alice could not have been happier.

- - - - - - -

Lily and James were sitting in the Three Broomsticks arguing and laughing playfully.

"You know you like my hair messy!"

"Why on earth would I have told you to stop messing it up if I liked it that way?"

"Because you knew I would only ever do the opposite of what you said."

"That's ridiculous!"

"It is a little ridiculous, love," James concluded, cocky grin in place. "But I understand."

Lily just stared at him, knowing that going on would be futile. Luckily, an owl swooped in at that moment and dropped a letter in front of her. Luckily - or so she thought.

It was addressed like a Muggle envelop and the return address was _Mr. Arnold Dursley_. She opened it with shaking hands, feeling James' hazel eyes watching her closely.

_Lily - _

_Mum and Dad's funeral is being held Sunday, I hope this reaches you in time. It's being held at Bentley church, down the road from our old house. You're expected to attend, obviously, but please, don't bring your band of freaks._

_- Petunia_

Lily sighed. She had not fully recovered from the death of her parents; who could? But she had decided that there was nothing she could do about it, and she was moving forward, no matter how much it hurt.

"Lily?" James asked softly.

"The funeral's tomorrow," she answered his unasked question quickly. "I'm not supposed to bring anyone with me."

He scoffed. "Do you really think I'm going to let you go alone?"

"Of course not," Lily said, a small smile flitting across her face. "But I really _really_ want to make up with Petunia, James. And she knows who you are, she would know that I brought 'one of my freaks.'"

James grinned. "I'm yours, am I?"

"You're hopeless, that's what you are," she told him, rolling her eyes.

"You mean hopelessly in lo- infatuated," James stuttered slightly.

Lily suspected what he had almost said, but decided to ignore it. There were far more pressing matters at hand.

"Either way, you can't come with me."

"_James_ can't come with you," he smirked.

Lily raised an eyebrow. "I don't follow."

"Simple," James started as though he already had it all planned at.

_Although, _Lily thought, _he _is_ a Marauder, he probably already _does_ have it all planned out._

She snapped out of her thoughts when she realized he was still explaining his plan.

"I just have to nick some of the Polyjuice Potion Slughorn keeps in his store cupboard - we definitely know our way around there."

Lily could not help but laugh as an image of herself covered in troll blood spinning in circles in that crowded little room flooded her mind.

"And then I just take someone's hair and tah-dah! No more James."

Though Lily was touched that he would go to such an effort for her, she shook her head. "James, it's dangerous. You could get in so much trouble if you get caught.

"Never fear, darling, I have my ways of ensuring absolute secrecy," he winked at her.

She gave a defeated sigh. "I believe you. But if you go, Alice and Nessa will want to come. And then Remus will too, and Sirius -"

"Then I'll get the potion for one of the girls, and they could go with you," he told her seriously. "Whatever you want, really."

She looked at him across the table, knowing disbelief was evident on her face.

"I want you to come," Lily said simply.

James' brow furrowed slightly. "Really?"

"Yes, really," she told him. "Alice and Ness would never be able to decide between the two of them anyway. Besides, you're my friend now too, and if you're willing to go to all that effort just to be able to come with me, I think you should be the one there."

James looked as though he had just been told Professor Perry had been kidnapped by a band of angry trolls. "Really?" he asked again.

Lily smiled at him, and it reached her eyes - completely genuine. "Yes, really."

- - - - - - -

There was a time at least once a day when James wanted to sweep Lily off her feet and snog her senseless.

This was one of those times.

He stared at her across the scrubbed wooden table as she took another sip of butterbeer. Her flaming red hair was pulled back in a long messy braid and her eyes were only faintly outlined for once, instead of the heavy makeup she had taken to wearing. James thought she was beautiful. How on earth was he supposed to be her friend? He was in love with the girl, damn it!

But he took a deep breath and a long drink himself, knowing that if he really and truly was in love with her, that was exactly the reason he would be just friends. He loved her and that was what she wanted.

James could not keep himself from smiling. He was James Potter, heartthrob, prankster, and star Chaser, yet here he was, in love with a girl. It was an odd feeling, but marvelous too. Like flying without a broomstick, as though Lily gave him wings.

_Good grief, _James thought, _I sound like one of those sappy romance novels Peter hides under his bed._

But somehow, he did not mind.

"James?" Lily's voice reached him through the thick cloud of his thoughts. "James, are you all right?"

He shook his head to clear it and slapped a grin on his face. "Of course. After all, I'm with you."

"Right," Lily said as she bit her lip and rolled her eyes. "Should we go? It's getting a bit too crowded."

James, who had paid no attention to his surroundings while sitting with Lily, glanced around the pub. Sure enough, students were crammed into every corner, spilling drinks on each other in an attempt to make room for more. He chuckled and got to his feet and she did the same. Taking her hand under the pretense of "sticking together," James led her out onto the street.

- - - - - - -

Vanessa yelped in surprise and jumped back slightly, causing Sirius - who was sitting on the ground much like a dog - to let out his booming, bark-like laugh. Remus, too, laughed softly, though it sounded a bit forced.

"Si-Si-_Sirius_?" Vanessa sputtered, taking the hand Remus offered and allowing him to pull her to her feet. She was staring at Sirius with her mouth part-way open.

"What, Ness? Just now noticing my ravishing good looks?" he joked, standing up and brushing himself off.

At the jibe, Vanessa snapped out of it. "My personal interest isn't quite your breed." She winked and kissed Remus on the cheek, causing him to blush slightly. "But an _Animagus? _That's amazing!"

Sirius grinned and Vanessa suddenly realized how canine it actually looked. "I know I am, but thanks for reminding me."

"What were you even doing here, though?" Remus asked.

"Well," Sirius began, narrowing his eyes. "I saw that son of a bitch Perry following the two of you up the hill, so I left Peter at Zonko's and tagged along. I wanted to see what he would get up to. Besides, had you attacked him, Moony, that would have only fueled his fire. A dog attack would not have."

Remus smiled tiredly. "Thanks, Padfoot."

He nodded, but Vanessa's eyes widened as she came to an understanding.

"You all are," she whispered, more to herself than the boys.

"Pardon?" Sirius asked.

"You and James and Peter!" Vanessa exclaimed, a smile lighting up her face. "You're all Animagi! Moony, Padfoot, and what is you call them? Prongs! That's it, and Wormy or something…""

Sirius looked as though he would argue, but Remus spoke before he got the chance. "Ness, you can't tell anyone. Not even Lily or Alice. What they're doing - it's illegal, and -"

"I won't," she promised, looking them each in eye in turn. "But James and Peter, what are they?"

The boys exchanged a look before grinning mischievously. "Guess."

"Fine," Vanessa said, impatiently blowing a strand of hair out of her eyes. "Let me think… I could see James as a kangaroo, you know, playful and fun-loving. Or a moose, because they're so hard-headed and stubborn. Maybe a panda bear, because they're playful, but also kind. And Peter could be a zebra, because they always stick close to each other. That or a squirrel, because they're trusting and innocent and naïve. Am I even close?"

"Nope," Sirius said, grinning triumphantly.

"Then tell me!" Vanessa exclaimed, looking between him and Remus with an exasperated expression.

"I'll give you a clue," Remus began, trying to contain a playful smile as the three of them made their way back to the village. "James' has more to do with pride, though also purity. Weird, I know, but we looked them up. And Peter's means 'devotion to purpose.' Does that help at all?"

"Pride, huh? A lion maybe?" Vanessa guessed hopefully.

"Try again," Sirius told her.

"Unicorn? Peacock? I don't know, I'm not exactly an expert on animal symbolism."

Remus chuckled. "It has antlers. Think about their nicknames."

"A stag!" she exclaimed, smacking herself in the forehead. "And a worm?"

"Not quite," Remus laughed. "It's Wormtail."

Vanessa furrowed her brow as she thought, muttering the name to herself. "Some kind of rodent?"

"A rat, to be precise," Remus told her.

She pulled a face. "Poor guy." Then she brightened. "But still, that is so incredible! It's supposed to be really difficult magic, I can't believe the three of you actually managed it!"

"Doest thou doubt our abilities?" Sirius gasped. "Though it was damn near impossible. For Peter especially. It took us _years."_

"Did you just do it for fun? Or was there a reason?"

At this point, both boys became extremely interested in a sign in the window of Gladrags, which was surprising, considering it advertised dress robes for elderly people. Vanessa raised an eyebrow.

"Come on guys, I'm not that thick."

Remus looked at her long and hard for a moment, searching her eyes for something. "I'll tell you when we get back to school, all right?"

She nodded and followed the boys into Zonko's Joke Shop.

- - - - - - -

Alice and Frank had spent the entire afternoon in the Hog's Head, and when they left, still laughing at Aberforth's crude sense of humor, they found the sun setting on the mountains behind the village.

"Come on, we'd better head back," Frank said, slipping his hand around hers. "I think most everyone has left."

Alice nodded and followed him up High Street. She opened her mouth to strike up conversation when she was interrupted by a

-FLASH-

Rubbing their eyes, trying to make the spots they were seeing disappear, Alice and Frank looked ahead of them to see Sirius, a brand new camera held up before him.

"You have got to be joking," Alice muttered, joining Sirius, who was standing with James, Lily, Remus, Vanessa, and Peter.

Lily laughed lightly. "That's exactly what I said, Al."

"This is going to make for one interesting year," James added, grinning at his best friend. "Hey, Lily, do you remember that time over the summer when he got the picture of you covered in cake batter?"

Alice laughed as Lily shuddered. "And you licked my face?" the redhead said. "How could I forget?"

"Well, on the bright side," Alice commented. "We'll never forget the good times."

Vanessa shook her head. "I swear you could make detention with Professor Perry sound like a trip to the beach."

"Just one of the things that makes her so perfect," Frank said, smiling down at the little blonde.

Alice felt her cheeks heat up slightly, but smiled back nonetheless, giving his hand a grateful squeeze.

-FLASH-

"Oi!" Alice and Frank exclaimed together, shielding their eyes.

"What?" Sirius asked, lowering the camera. "It was a perfect moment. I thought I should capture it."

Alice rolled her eyes. "The day you become a romantic, Sirius, is the day Lily actually accepts a date with James."

Everyone laughed, even Lily and James, though Lily turned pink and James' eyes looks ever-hopeful.

-FLASH-

"_Sirius_!"

___________________________________________

**YAY! Long long long chapter! Too long? (It was over 8,000 words!) Seriously, tell me if it 's too much!**

**So there was a little peek into Stella's situation, and thoughts on that?**

**As well as some more Duncan! What will he do with this newfound information?**

**And Vanessa knows about the boys, well not the whole story, but she will.**

**Lily and James are lightening up a bit and becoming playful again and we met Aberforth!**

**So please please please tell me what you think, I know there was a lot in this chapter, but I really want to know your thoughts on each section, or at least each character or pairing.**

**Also, tell me if there is anything you want to see more of!**

**Thanks so much! Love you all to bits!**

**OH! And I just wanted to say that the quotes at the beginning and end of this chapter mostly focus on Stella, but also Lily and James. But the Stella part is really important, so I chose the two quote based on that rather than trying to find something that related to the whole chapter.**

**And, as always, I want to know what your favorite line was, your favorite character, what you think of chapter names and the quotes and everything, so please let me know!**

****

**Love Always,**

Kayla

_Tough times never last, but tough people do._


	28. There Is Always Tomorrow

**You guys are FANTASTIC! Your reviews were absolutely amazing, all of them were long and detailed and you basically made me the happiest writer on fan fiction. You should definitely keep those lovely reviews up!**

**So a extra special thanks to the wonder, marvelous, beautiful people who reviewed: ashl3yj0nas43v3r, Marteczka's Quill, RaindropsOnTheRooftop, XxIloveHarryPotterxX, raneonthewyndoepain, Hannah In Wonderland, Sarahrules336, SecretlyAGryffindor, wickdwrtr, Amanda, mimimi213, ivyflightislistening, sckarlie potter, -the smell of autumn-, RachelElizabeth, and pinkpearl89!**

**You know what's neat? A lot of the reviewers I just mentioned have been with me so long I don't even have to look at their pen names to remember spelling and numbers and symbols, I just know it. I think it's really awesome. XD So thanks for sticking with me guys! This one is for all of you! (:**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything, accept maybe Vanessa.**

_Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight._

**Chapter Twenty-Eight: There Is Always Tomorrow**

Her whole body ached, head to toe and back again. It felt as though every bone and muscle and tendon had been stretched out for miles and then set on fire, only to be put out again when she was a mere inch from death.

And she knew she was lucky.

Stella rested her head against the cold stone wall in the basement of Malfoy Manor, having no strength to hold it up on her own. She had been the, the _entertainment_ at the Death Eater's little initiation ceremony, and they had a cruel sense of humor. Part of the process was to torture a person who was close to their black, twisted heart, and Stella, by unlucky chance, had been chosen for the position, as the Death Eater-to-be had no close relatives.

_So that's my purpose? _She thought as she fought against the exhaustion threatening to overtake her. _They wanted me for their little torture session?_

"That's part of it," came the voice of her captor. Stella opened her tired eyes to see him standing in the doorway, a dark silhouette against an almost equally black backdrop.

"How did you -?" Stella began, her voice slurred from weariness and pain.

"The Dark Lord makes sure his servants know a bit of Legilimency," he explained, a sickly smile curling across his once-handsome features.

Having no strength to question this further, Stella got right to the point. "What do you want? Come to torture me again? Did you get a taste for it at your ceremony and now you're hungry for more?"

"I could have done much worse," he told her, almost snarling. "You ought to be thanking me for going easy on you."

Stella laughed. It was a hoarse, and slightly hysterical laugh at the thought of the pain he had put her through being easy. "You'll get no word of gratitude from me you bastard."

"_Crucio!"_

His spell was cast out of anger, and therefore not quite as focused as it could have been, but unbearable pain shot through her already weak body nonetheless. The stretching and the fire returned, pulling even farther and burning even hotter. She convulsed as she tried to contain a scream, feeling as though she would rather be dead than go through this.

But she would not beg for mercy.

Stella knew that was what he wanted - what they all wanted - to put someone in such pain that they grovel and plead and swear their life away just to make it stop. She could no longer hold in a cry of agony, but that was all he was going to get. Ever. He could do this everyday for a year, but she would not beg at the feet of someone she hated with such passion.

Suddenly, it was over, and Stella looked up through tear-clouded eyes to see a second figure standing beside her captor. He was tall and thin with silvery blond hair and cold grey eyes.

"That is enough," Lucius Malfoy told him, forcing the other man to lower his wand. "The Dark Lord wants her alive, unless you have forgotten."

"Of course not," he answered, giving Stella a look of utmost loathing. "I just thought the wench needed a lesson in respecting her superiors."

Stella, despite her better judgment, spit on his shoes. With a bored look on his pale face, Malfoy put a hand on his shoulder and pushed him from the room, lagging behind to give Stella a look of disgust.

"Thank you," she said softly, staring him straight in the eye.

He scoffed. "Don't thank me. I was merely protecting a new recruit from the Dark Lord's wrath."

"But in doing so, you saved me as well, so thank you," she told him. He rolled his eyes and swept from the cellar.

Only then did Stella let exhaustion overcome her. She closed her eyes and curled up in a tight ball on the cold stone floor, willing sleep to carry her to a better place.

- - - - - - -

Remus and Vanessa were sitting on his bed in the dormitory. The curtains were drawn around them and a silencing charm had been placed upon the crimson hangings. Vanessa was curious as to all the caution, it was Remus' dormitory, who would overhear? But she chose not to question him as he sat down across from her and began to tell his tale.

"Well, back in third year, James, Sirius, and Peter figured out that I was a werewolf," he told her, his voice torn between pain and relief. "At first, they were a little freaked out, which was perfectly understandable. But then, just when I thought that they were going to just shun me altogether, they told me that it didn't matter, just like you and Lily and Alice all did."

Vanessa smiled at him and took his hand, placing it between her own in her lap. "Because you mean so much more to us than that, Rem, like I've been trying to tell you."

"That's what they said. But anyway, they asked where I went and what I did and everything, so I told them. I would go to the Shrieking Shack every full moon, and with no one there to let out my new energy on, I would have to attack myself. After that, they started spending time in the library -"

"And you didn't realize something was up?" Vanessa joked.

Remus smiled. "I should have, but I didn't. I just thought classes were getting harder and they were actually doing their work. I was wrong, it turned out. Last year, they surprised me. They showed up in the Shack one night in their animal forms, knowing that I couldn't infect them as long as they were like that. I not only had someone to fight with, but I was no longer so alone. It really brought us together."

Vanessa scooted closer to Remus and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a warm hug. "They're amazing, Rem, you know that?"

"I do," he said sincerely, holding her tightly. "I could never have asked for better friends."

"You deserve it, though," she told him, burying her face in his chest and smiling at his familiar scent. She felt so utterly peaceful and at home in his arms, as though this small spot in the huge, terrifying world had been molded just for her.

"Well, I don't know about that," Remus told her, resting his chin on top of her head. "But I do know that no one can find out about them."

Vanessa grinned up at him. "The secret's safe with me," she said, then echoed words from days gone by. "It always will be.

- - - - - - -

Late Saturday night, James slipped out of his four-poster bed and into his shoes, pulling the invisibility cloak he had inherited from his father over his body and grabbing a blank piece of parchment out of his trunk. He checked to make sure none of his friends had woken to the noise before quietly opening the dormitory door and making his way silently down the stairs.

Once in the Common Room, James glanced around to ensure he was alone before tapping the parchment with his wand. "_I solemnly swear I'm up to no good_." He could not help but grin at the 'magic words' Sirius had come up with. As he stared down at the parchment, letters began inking themselves across it:

_Messrs._

_Moony, Wormtail, _

_Padfoot, & Prongs _

_Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers_

_are proud to present _

_The Marauder's Map_

The castle and its grounds also appeared in perfect detail and clarity. Everything the four boys had learned since they started roaming Hogwarts by night was there - every secret passage, hidden room, and dark corner.

James' personal favorite part, however, had nothing to do with the precise drawing of the castle, rather the people inside of it. It had taken quite a complicated spell on Remus' part, but they had managed to rig the map to show every student, teacher, parent, or anyone else, who came into the school, which was extremely useful for pranks and other such things, such as what James was doing now.

Just as he put his leg through the portrait hole, there was a voice behind him.

"You're not planning on going alone, are you mate?" Sirius asked. He was standing at the foot of the stairs, fully clothed with his wand out and ready to go wherever James was heading. "You're going to need a bit of help."

James grinned at his best friend. "Right," he said, pulling the cloak down to show his face. "Thanks, mate."

Sirius crossed the Common Room and ducked under the cloak with James, and together they made their way out into the corridor.

They stole silently through the hallways, knowing every twist and turn before they occurred, only checking the map for teachers and prefects patrolling the corridors.

"We're going the Slughorn's store cupboard," James whispered as they went. "I'm going to nick some Polyjuice potion so I can go with Lily to her parents' funeral without being recognized."

Sirius nodded. "Who are you changing into?"

"Well, it can't be you, obviously. Her sister knows you," he paused to think, allowing a suggestive look spread over his face at the mention of Petunia Evans. "And she's not likely to forget you."

Sirius turned a funny shade of green at the very thought, giving James a much-deserved smack on the back of the head.

"Oi!" James exclaimed, though in a whisper. He continued as he rubbed the sore spot. "I could go as Moony or Frank I suppose. She doesn't know them and I don't think they would mind."

Sirius nodded again, but his eyes widened as he stared at something behind James' head.

"What -?" James began, but the expression his best friend wore cut him off. Turning slowly under the cloak, James saw the horror unfolding across the hall.

Constance Malfoy was running flat out toward them, her silver blond hair in a tangled disarray as she tried to escape from her pursuer - none other than Duncan Perry. She had to hold part of her shirt together, as it seemed to have been ripped, presumably by the professor at her heels.

James groaned. "We have to help her."

"Why?" Sirius asked, eyes cold, as though trying to decide who he hated more.

"Because he's a bastard who needs to be dealt with! I don't care what Dumbledore said about people taking care of themselves."

Sirius hesitated, but grudgingly agreed. "I'll go get the potion, you save the girl. If you get caught there's no way you'll be able to get it yourself."

"Right," James told him, slipping out from beneath the cloak to hide behind a suit of armor. "Go straight back to the Tower afterward, and take the map. Don't get caught."

He could no longer see his best friend's face, but James could picture his expression perfectly in his mind's eye.

"Don't worry about me, just go over there and be Mr. Valliant."

James rolled his eyes but smiled at the place he knew Sirius stood before stepping out of the shadows and grabbing Constance by the arm as she ran by.

"What are you doing?" she shrieked, tears streaming down her pale face. "He can't, I mean -"

"Hush," James told her, putting himself in front of her as Perry approached.

"Ah, ah, ah, out of bed, Potter? It seems I have a growing list of things to speak to the Headmaster about involving you and your pathetic little friends."

"Believe me, my list of things you've done could stretch to Durmstrang and back. And I think being out of bed after hours dims in comparison to chasing a female student through the hallways," James growled, causing Perry to shrink back slightly.

Suddenly, a grin spread across the Professor's face. Before James even had time to blink, Perry had whipped out his wand and cried "_Obliviate_!"

"_Protego_!"

James was shocked to find a shimmering silver shield glowing around Constance and himself, though neither of them had their wands drawn. Turning around, he was surprised to find Lily standing a few feet behind them, as though she too had been hiding behind a suit of armor. Her shoulders were squared, her wand was pointed at the shield, and her eyes were narrowed in determination and loathing.

"Lily, Lily, Lily," Perry said, attempting to step around her shield in order to stand closer to her, but she hissed slightly and it only grew larger. "That is no way to treat a Professor."

Lily scoffed. "'Professor?' Is that what you call yourself? I believe rapist or pedophile would be the more accurate term."

"You don't really believe that of me, do you sweetheart?" he asked, drawing close enough to where James could smell fire whiskey on his breath.

"Don't you dare even talk to her!" James yelled angrily, breaking out of the shield to stand in front of Lily, pulling Constance behind him.

Perry looked at him for a moment, his blue eyes coming in and out of focus. "And who are you to stop me? Her boyfriend? Her knight?"

"No," James said, feeling his face heat up slightly. "I'm her friend, and I have every right to protect her."

"And maybe she doesn't need protecting, stud, ever think of that?" Perry grinned at Lily, who glared back. "Maybe she wants a ride on the wild side. What do you say, love?"

"You make me sick!" Lily growled, stepping up to stand beside James. "Don't you ever call me sweetheart or love, and don't think for one moment that I have even the slightest interest in a foul pig like you!"

Perry - through his drunkenness - looked started, but Lily gave him no time to reply.

"_Obliviate_!" she yelled, and a jet of light burst from her wand and hit the professor squarely in the chest. Perry stared at them for a moment, blinking in a confused manner before he fell over in a dead faint.

Breathing hard, she turned to look at Constance Malfoy. "What happened?"

Devoid of her usual sneer, the Slytherin took a shaky breath and answered. "Well, I was in the library late, doing an essay for Ancient Runes, when he came and found me. I was the only one there, and he told me to come to his office and he would help me. But when I got there -" at this point, Constance burst into tears.

Lily, looking as though she would rather be any where else in the world, put a comforting arm around the other girl's shoulders. "It's all right," Lily told her, as Constance continued to sob. "It's all right."

Constance nodded, running a hand through her ragged-looking blonde hair and wiping a few tears and some running makeup from her face. "Well, when I got there, he… he took me into his bedroom. He tried, oh Evans, he tried to rip my shirt off!"

Lily nodded, glancing at James for help. James, who never really knew what to do in these sort of situations, tried to pretend that the crying girl was Lily, and imagine what he would do then. So, knowing he might regret it in the morning, he pulled Constance away from Lily and into a hug, where she promptly started sobbing again and soaked his shirt through.

"What happened then?" Lily asked in a soothing voice, smoothing the Slytherin girl's hair as she did so.

She took another deep breath and backed away from James slightly. "Well, that's what's odd. It seemed as though my shirt was suddenly made of steel - he couldn't get it off. And when he tried to touch me, he could only get within about an inch of my skin, like there was some kind of barrier around me. After that, he got really angry, he thought it was my fault that he couldn't touch me. That was when I ran."

Lily gave James a significant look, he knew she was thinking of the protection Dumbledore had placed on the students. "Come on," Lily said, taking Constance's arm with her own. "Let's get you to the hospital wing. I bet Madam Pomfrey has something that will make you feel better."

Constance could only nod and follow Lily up the staircase, James right behind them, leaving Perry on the cold stone floor.

They reached the infirmary and entered quietly - not wanting to wake the other patients. As if called by some sort of silent alarm, Madam Pomfrey was immediately at their side.

"Do you have something you can give her for trauma?" James asked softly as Lily led Constance over to a nearby bed.

"Of course," the Healer answered promptly. "What happened to her?"

James stopped for a moment, deciding the incident should remain between himself, Lily, and Constance for the moment. "She was sleepwalking, and having horrible nightmares. I was helping Lily with her prefect patrol when we found her."

Madam Pomfrey merely nodded and bustled away.

"She'll probably give you a Peaceful Potion or something similar," Lily was telling Constance kindly as James approached them.

"Which means I will most likely forget that any of this happened at all."

James nodded. "Maybe that will be for the best."

Constance looked from James to Lily for a moment, clearly having some sort of internal battle. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, unable to speak the words her mind was trying to form.

"You're welcome, Constance," Lily said, laughing softly.

The girl smiled shyly. "Thank you. Both of you."

"The enemy of my enemy is my friend, right?" James told her, forcing a smile. _How was Lily able to be so kind to her?_

"Out, out!" came the voice of Madam Pomfrey as she reentered the room, a vile of Peaceful Potion in hand. "Miss Malfoy needs her rest!"

"Thank you," Constance told the two Gryffindors one last time before they were herded out into the corridor.

- - - - - - -

"Here!" the gruff voice hissed as someone shoved a tray of food into her hands. Stella took it as the door slammed in her face, leaving her in almost total darkness.

She was used to the dark by now though, and thought she must be quite a sight. Her eyes must be enormous to allow her to see in such lighting. Stella sat back down against the wall slowly and gingerly, still very sore from the initiation ceremony. Eating the measly crust of bread and drinking down the broth, she wondered how long they would keep her, or when they were planning to kill her.

Surely she could not be of more use? She had served as their figurative punching bag already and they knew she had no idea where Lily Evans was. What more use could she be? Surely it would be easier for them to kill her, or she could stop eating their meager meals and die slightly less painfully.

_Don't think like that! _She scolded herself. _What was it Mum used to say during hard times? "Courage is nothing less than the power to overcome danger, misfortune, fear, injustice, while continuing to affirm inwardly that life with all its sorrows is good; that everything is meaningful even if in a sense beyond our understanding; and that there is always tomorrow."_

"There is always tomorrow," she said aloud, speaking only to the damp rock walls around her and the stars she knew were somewhere above.

When she had first found herself trapped, Stella had promised herself that she would not cry, but thinking of her mother - who she knew had been murdered by these horrid people that held her captive - made her eyes well up and tears threatened to spill over.

Stella wanted to be strong, she wanted it more than almost anything. But it was so hard to be strong when she was utterly alone. Her parents had taught her to value courage, and it was courage she strove to have, but what was she to do? Her family was dead, her friends had no idea where she was, and anyone who had any ability to help her at all probably had no idea she even needed saving.

"Everything is meaningful even if in a sense beyond our understanding, and there is always tomorrow," she whispered, taking up a sort of chant, Repeating her mother's words was soothing to her troubled soul. They washed away a bit of her worry and gave her some hope in getting out of this alive. She just had to come up with a plan.

- - - - - - -

Lily Evans had a plan. It came to her as she pulled on a sweater and ran a brush through her long, red hair Sunday morning. Not only would she attend the funeral, but she would find a way to get to Stella. It was completely unfair that Lily should be able to attend her parents' burial while Stella was deprived that right. Lily would find her, and she imagined it might even be easy.

She jumped slightly when Alice touched her gently on the shoulder. "He's waiting for you," she said softly. "He's Remus."

Lily nodded, grabbed her bag, and walked down to the Common Room. Remus Lupin - aka James Potter - was waiting for her at the foot of the stairs.

"You ready?" he asked, giving her a small smile that seemed more like James than Remus and she took a deep breath.

"Yes," she told him, taking the arm he offered. "So, how's it feel to be Remus?"

James frowned slightly. "Somehow I thought I'd be smarter."

Even with the bleak path that lay ahead, Lily could not help but laugh.

They made their way out of the portrait hole, through the crowds wandering the corridors, trying to find an escape from the rain that pounded against the window panes, and stopped outside Professor McGonagall's office. James raised a hand to knock, but the door opened before he had the chance.

"In," Professor McGonagall ordered.

They entered and took the seats she offered, though avoiding the tray of biscuits she pushed at them.

"Before you go," she began, looking from one to the other. "There is a small matter I wish to speak with you about."

"What is it, Professor?" Lily asked, knowing the answering but hoping she sounded as though she did not.

"Poppy tells me that is was to two of you that brought Miss Malfoy to her last night?"

Lily and James nodded.

"And she tells me that the girl was in quite a state, more than could explained by nightmares."

Lily could almost feel James tense, even with the distance between them. Before either of them could respond, McGonagall continued.

"And that is the same night we found Professor Perry out cold in an upstairs corridor."

"What are you saying, Professor?" James asked.

"I am saying that I have a good idea of what happened, Mr. Potter," the professor told him sternly. "And," she added softly. "That I am grateful for it."

Lily was startled. "Excuse me, Professor?"

"I do not approve of the newest member of the staff. Nor do most of my colleagues," McGonagall explained. "I knew it was only a matter of time before he tried something, and I was not mistaken. I have informed Poppy to leave his memory as it is. Whatever you did to him, he shall not be able to recall, for your own protection. And," she pressed on. "It has come to my attention that he became aware of Mr. Lupin's condition, and therefore I did a little work on his memory myself."

There was a small sparkle in her eye that made Lily think the strict old Professor had once been much more like the Marauders she so often punished.

"Thank you, professor," Lily and James said together, smiling slightly.

"Of course. Just inform Mr. Lupin that he needs to be more careful."

"Yes, Professor," James nodded.

McGonagall gave them a hint of a smile before stepping over to her fireplace. "You will be traveling by the Floo Network, I have arranged a location in the basement of Bentley Church for you to arrive at, and you may return to my office once the funeral is over."

"Right," Lily said, taking a deep breath and pocketing the bag of extra Floo powder the professor handed to her, desperately trying to keep the triumphant look off of her face - all was going according to plan.

"Oh, and one more thing," McGonagall added as Lily and James stood in the grate, ready to leave. "I am quite proud of your behavior, it is not often that Gryffindor courage and loyalty extend as far as Slytherin House, and in current times it is good to know that there are still students who will choose the right path, even in difficult situations."

With a final smile at their deputy Headmistress, James and Lily shouted "Bentley Church" and spun their ashy way into oblivion.

- - - - - - -

Stella was jerked from a fitful slumber as the creaky door to her basement prison was opened.

"It seems you have company," her captor told her as he entered.

Lucius Malfoy followed, levitating a frightening looking man who appeared to be unconscious.

"Redwood, meet the renowned Auror, Mad-Eye Moody."

Stella had never heard of such a man, and studied his face intently. It was scarred beyond recognition, and he seemed to have two completely different eyes, at least, one was larger than the other, though it was hard to tell when they were closed.

"He was supposed to be your rescuer," Lucius sneered, throwing the man down beside her. With a flick of his wand, the man's hands were bound to the wall behind him. "So much for heroics."

She shrugged, putting on a brave face. "Well, I never said I needed a hero."

"Courage - yet another character flaw," her captor said, gruffly taking her chin in his hand.

"Better courage than cowardice."

"Cowards live longer, darling," he told her.

Stella raised an eyebrow. "If you can call such a weak existence living. The way I see it, it's better to die a brave death young, squeezing life for all its worth as opposed to staying alive to merely cower in the shadows, never really living at all."

There was a resounding -SMACK- and Stella gasped in pain as the bruise that was already prominent on her cheek throbbed once more.

"No one asked for your opinion, wench! The first rule of survival is know when to keep your pretty mouth shut."

She glared at him in defiance. "But survival is not the first rule of life. The first rule of life is love."

"Love? What do you know about love?" her captor spat.

"A hell of a lot more than you do, because not only can I see where love is, I can see where it is not. And I also know that even in the most difficult of times, love remains the hope that can pull you through it. Of course, a Death Eater like yourself would know nothing about such things."

-SMACK-

Stella groaned quietly as pain again flooded her face.

"You're just a stupid girl," he sneered. "Lost in your little fairytale world of love and friendship and happiness. You know nothing of the reality of the world."

"I know enough to see that it is better to be a stupid girl with a fairytale than a stupid boy with a wand and a curse. I'd rather spend my life hoping for love than waste it fighting a cold-blooded war."

"Your naivety will be your fatal flaw," he spat, turning on his heel and slamming the door behind him.

She gave Lucius a look with all the loathing she could muster, and noticed a torn expression on his pale face, but it vanished almost as quickly as it had appeared.

"You know," he said quietly, refusing to meet her eyes. "Life would be much easier for you if you didn't provoke him like that."

Stella's harsh laugh turned into a cough before she replied. "I'm trapped in your cellar, my parents are dead, and who knows how many awful things they plan on using me for? I don't think life will be getting any easier, no matter what I do."

"Suit yourself," Lucius shrugged, and left the room as well.

She sighed and leaned back against the cold stone wall behind her, looking over this "Mad-Eye Moody."

"Well, I guess it's you and me now," Stella whispered, though she knew he could not hear.

No matter how terrifying the Auror looked, Stella was grateful that he was there. She had longed for company since they had brought her here, and maybe once he came around there would be someone to talk to, even if it was a gruff middle aged man who seemed to have already seen his share of dark wizards.

- - - - - - -

Vanessa could not have been happier. She was still sitting on Remus' bed with the curtains drawn tight. She was in his arms, resting her head back on his shoulder as he absentmindedly ran his hand up and down on her stomach, tracing lazy designs as they talked. They talked about everything. The past, the future, Vanessa's new werewolf rights project she had been working on, even the fact that they were so comfortable with each other now, something Vanessa told him she was thrilled about.

They also sat in silence sometimes, drifting in and out of sleep and listening to the rain pound against the dormitory windows. They worried over Lily a bit, how she was coping at the funeral, but they both knew she was strong enough to get through, especially with James there.

It was in the moments of silence that Vanessa felt completely at peace with the world. She thanked any god who would listen for Remus. He was all she needed, other than her friends, of course, but she felt that they were made for each other, though it may sound cliché and over-used, that was the only way she could describe it. She just felt of utterly at home when she was with him, as if the world could crumble to dust and as long as she had Remus, it would not matter in the slightest.

Vanessa let out a contented sigh and snuggled closer to him, breathing in his scent and wrapping her arms around him tightly to share his warmth.

"Rem?" she asked softly, keeping her eyes closed in contentment.

"Hmm?"

"I just wanted to say thank you for giving me - giving us - a chance," Vanessa told him and could almost feel him smiling.

"Ness, now that we're here, I mean it when I say that I can't imagine life without you anymore."

"Good," she answered, grinning herself. "Then you won't break up with me for a stupid noble reason?"

He chuckled softly. "I don't think I'm noble enough to do that, Ness. You mean too much to me."

Vanessa had lied before. _Now_ she could not be happier.

- - - - - - -

"Severus?"

He jumped slightly when he heard his name being called and craned his neck to see over the piles of books that surrounded his small dark table in the library.

"Oh, Constance, it's you," Severus answered, settling back down as she took the seat beside him.

She looked nervous, twirling a strand of long, silver-blond hair around her finger and chewing furiously on her bottom lip. "Erm, Severus? Can I talk to you for a moment?"

Severus was surprised by this request, he and Constance Malfoy had never really gotten on well. "Er, all right then. What about?"

"Well," she paused, taking a deep breath, and launched into her story. "Last night, I was here and there was no one else and Professor Perry came and told me to come back to his office with him and he would help me with my Ancient Runes and then he tried to rip my shirt off and I ran and Lily Evans and James Potter saved me. They told Madam Pomfrey to give me a Peaceful Potion, but I refused, I wanted to remember."

Severus simply stared at her for a minute, trying to take in everything she had said. "I knew that rotten professor was no good. But why are you telling me this?"

"Because I know you used to be friends with Evans," Constance began, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. "And I know I used to be awful to you about it, making fun of you and everything. But I wanted you to know that I get it now. She really is a better person than we give her credit for, Muggle-born or not. So I'm sorry, you both deserved better than the way I treated you about it."

"Er, well, thanks, Constance," Severus answered awkwardly.

"And Potter too," Constance pressed on. "I know he's a blood traitor and we all give him hell, but he was the first one to step in and get Perry away from me. I just wanted you to know that even though you and Lily aren't friends anymore, she's in good hands."

And with that Constance stood up and left, silver hair flowing behind her.

"Yeah," Severus muttered bitterly to no one in particular. "Yeah, I know."

- - - - - - -

Lily had never been fond of the Floo network. She was spinning so fast she felt as though she might be sick; it was worse by far than Apparation, which she had tried on occasion with some of the older students. Color and ash blew all around and just when she thought she would pass out, it was over and James' strong arms were around her waist, keeping her from falling.

"Thank you," she said softly, regaining her balance and brushing the soot off of her clothes.

Looking around, Lily could tell they were in the basement of what must have been Bentley Church. An old organ sat against one peeling wall and boxes of various donations littered the room, which was dimly lit by a single oil lamp flickering dismally overhead. She turned away from the room to look at James, and was surprised to find that she wished he looked like himself now of all times. She desperately missed his hazel eyes, which were always so comforting and reassuring. She wanted her James back, for she realized she needed him now more than ever.

She would never admit that, of course. She was Lily Evans, and as such was far too proud to say anything about it, but she did wrap an arm around his waist, huddling into his warmth as they made their way up a creaky staircase and into the brightly hall where numerous guests had gathered.

"Should we separate for a while?" James asked, shrinking back into the shadows momentarily. "So that your sister won't be suspicious?"

Much as Lily hated it, James was right, so she nodded and let go of him before weaving through the people milling, hoping to Merlin that none of them would stop her to offer condolences.

"Tuney!" Lily sighed in relief when she found her sister. She was standing by what could have been a small elephant, though his skin was less grey and in place of a trunk there was a neatly trimmed mustache.

"There you are," Petunia said, narrowing her eyes. "And I've told you not to call me that."

All of a sudden, Lily found herself fighting tears. It was odd, Lily was not normally a weepy person - though the last week would suggest otherwise - but it seemed she was finally reaching her breaking point.

"Can I talk to you for a moment, please? Alone?" she added, when the huge beefy man stayed put.

Petunia looked aggravated, but waved him away. "All right, but only for a moment."

Once they were alone, Lily took a deep shaky breath, thinking she did not have the courage to say what was on her mind. Then, her eyes locked with James' over Petunia's shoulder, and even though they were not his own, Lily found the strength within them.

"Look, Tuney," she began. "I know that we haven't been on the best terms recently, but… but our parents just died, Tuney -"

"Because of you!" Petunia hissed, and Lily felt her face heating up in sudden anger.

"You think I don't know that?" Tears of grief and fury spilled from her eyes and she angrily wiped them away, cursing her own overly emotional state. "You think I don't think about that every moment of my life? That I don't feel so guilty I'm in constant pain? Well, believe it or not, I know that it was my fault. If I wasn't a -" she dropped her voice. "If I wasn't what I am, this never would have happened. So please stop berating me about it, because I know. And I wanted to say that I'm sorry. Beyond sorry, words can't ever make this any better, but please Tuney, please, I need you." Lily was shaking as she finished, her voice broken and weak, and a flash of sympathy crossed Petunia's eyes.

"I - I," she stuttered, before pulling Lily into a quick hug. "I need you now too, Lils."

Lily gasped slightly as Petunia uttered a nickname she had not heard in years and pulled her older sister closer, burying her face in her shoulder as she used to do when she was a little girl, and for an instant, everything was the way it had been what seemed to be a million years ago, before that fateful day on the swing-set, when they had been Tuney and Lils, best friends and partners in crime. Lily had been given a lot when Professor McGonagall had turned up on her doorstep six years ago to inform her that she was a witch, so the losses never seemed so great. Never, that is, until this moment. Lily had lost her sister when she came to Hogwarts, and this was the first time in longer than she could remember that the fact that she was a witch could be pushed by the wayside - if only for a moment.

Pulling away, Petunia hastily wiped her own eyes. "I don't think I can forgive you, Lily, and I can't forget everything that's happened. But for today, can we just pretend that none of it ever did?"

Tears clouding her vision, Lily nodded and walked hand-in-hand with her sister into the auditorium, James inconspicuously followed a few paces behind.

- - - - - - -

Stella jumped in surprise as the man tied beside her grunted loudly, and turned to find him finally awake, though now that she saw his mismatched eyes, she was not sure if awake was an improvement.

"Damn," he groaned, taking in his surroundings, clearly already aware of where he had been taken. Then he proceeded to go off on a tangent of some of the strongest language the tall blonde had ever heard.

Stella cleared her throat softly and he turned both eyes to her, causing her to subconsciously shrink back.

"Stella Redwood," he stated simply.

"Er, yes, how did you know?"

"I'm the head of the search and rescue team that's been out looking for you since your kidnapping."

This came as a bit of a surprise. _There were people looking for me?_

"Damn right," he answered, as if reading her thoughts. "Twelve of us actually. Not to mention the Evans girl. Dumbledore said she seemed quite determined to find you."

Stella's jaw all but hit the floor. "Lily Evans? But what does she even have to do with any of this? The Death Eaters want her too, but she can't be a -"

"A witch?" he finished. "She bloody well is, lass."

She put a hand over her eyes, trying to take it all in. Lily Evans was a witch. The girl that Gregory Pearson had used so badly. The girl that lived down the street. She was a witch. It was unbelievable.

"I'm Moody, by the way," the Auror told her as though he had not just given her such news. "Call me Mad-Eye."

Stella only nodded, as he already new who she was. "Right, Mad-Eye. Do you think the rest of your team will know where we are?"

"They'll come soon enough," he shrugged, settling back into the way, though his electric blue eye continually darted around the room. "In the meantime, CONTANT VIGILANCE!"

Stella jumped again, this time, hitting her head on a low shelf that hung above them.

"You never know what's out there," he finished grimly.

_Well, _Stella thought bleakly. _Looks like I'm in for one hell of a time._

- - - - - - -

"And now, I would like to ask Petunia and Lily Evans, daughter of the deceased, to say a few words," the man standing behind the podium said, gesturing to the two girls. They stood and slowly made their way to the front.

James wished so much that he could be beside Lily. She looked so small and fragile standing in front of the crowd gathered for the Evans' funeral, but if she wanted him to stay away, he would have to oblige. And she seemed strong enough, at least, she was putting on a brave face. She had obviously been crying a good deal throughout the speeches that had been given, but her eyes were dry as she stood before them.

"Well," Petunia began, voice more broken than James had ever heard it. "I don't really know what to say. They were good parents, the best. They took care of us, even when it meant that they had to go without. They were always there when we needed them. I mean," she paused, wiping her eyes with a handkerchief. "They were are parents, what else can I say?"

"You can say that dad was the listener," Lily added softly. "Whenever we had a problem, we could go to him and he would just hear us out, let us vent until we felt better. Mum, bless her, thought that the best way to solve a problem was to talk to us until we forgot about it. She was the chatterbox." She too wiped her eyes, though hastily and without the grace her sister used before she continued. "They always seemed to know exactly what we needed, whether it was hot chocolate or a punching bag, and they would always do anything and everything in the world for us."

Petunia nodded in agreement. "They knew how to take what little we had and make the most of it."

"And no matter what," Lily finished, her weak voice becoming strong. "No matter how odd our habits, in spite of the fact that we didn't always fit in with people on the outside, in our family, Mum and Dad always made us feel like we were wanted and welcome. As though nothing in the world brought them more joy than our presence, and when someone makes you feel like that," her emerald eyes, bloodshot but determined, locked with James' and he found he could not look away. "Then you have found someone special, someone that's truly one in a million. And if their death has taught me anything, it's that when you find those people, you have to cherish them, for you never know how much time you have."

Those listening applauded as the sisters made their way back to their seats, arms around each other. More people spoke after that, but James paid them no mind. He had told Lily that he would never be the one that cares less between the two of them, that he would always care more, but it seemed as though she was beginning to reach some sort of equal footing, or at least, she was starting to realize that he actually did care about her, and because of that, maybe she was finally reaching a point where she could care for him in return.

After the funeral was over, James watched from a distance as Lily hugged her sister and some of her relatives before she descended the creaky staircase back to the basement. He followed soon after to find her waiting for him.

James approached her without a word and pulled her into a tight hug, which she returned, clinging to him as though he was the only thing keeping her breathing. She seemed to be having a bit of an emotional breakdown, laughing and crying and hiccupping all at the same time, but James just held her and let her get it all out, savoring the feeling of having Lily Evans in his arms.

"Thank - hic - you for being - hic - here," she finally choked out, giggling at her own voice, and then promptly bursting into tears again.

"Lily?" James asked, stroking her back, he had never seen her like this before, of course, he would take her however she was, but this worried him. "Do you want to talk about anything?"

"Well - hic - it's just, I feel bad for - hic - being happy, you know? Hic. But then I think - hic - that they would want me to be happy - hic - and I'm just so - hic - relived that this is over - hic - I feel like I can finally - hic - start to move on."

James chuckled at her frazzled state and sat down against the wall, pulling her into his lap. She did not refuse, she just laid her head on his chest and closed her eyes as he rubbed her back gently. Though she hiccupped occasionally, she finally seemed to be at peace.

He knew it was wrong, having just come from a funeral and everything, but James was so happy he could burst. Here he was with the girl of his dreams sitting right there, so close, and he had his own head resting on hers - breathing in the familiar scent of vanilla. He would take this over Heaven itself.

"I guess - hic -" Lily continued. "That with everything that's been - hic - going on, it's feels like a bit of the weight - hic - is gone now that this is over - hic. I want to move on, James, so - hic - much, but I'm terrified to do it." Her voice cracked near the end and she buried her face farther into his shoulder.

James kissed her forehead gently, and though she tensed slightly, she did not pull away. "Listen, Lily, I want you to know that I'm here. And as cliché as it might sound, I'm here to carry the weight you can't, all right?"

She nodded and pulled back slightly to smile up at him. "James? Hic - I need a favor, of sorts - hic."

"Of course, love, anything."

"Well - hic - I want to go to - hic Stella. We have the Floo powder - hic - we could do it," she said this timidly, as though afraid he would be angry with her for even suggesting it, but the compassion she had for others only made James love her more.

"I wish it were that easy, darling, I really do, but the Malfoy's place is blocked from the Floo Network. We'll have to find another way."

"We?" she asked, eyes lighting up slightly. "Really?"

He grinned and wiped away the makeup that had run down her face. "Of course. I know that if I say I won't help you, you'll just find a way to do it on your own. I can't let that happen, Lily. I'm going to be there with you." _I have to protect you. _He did not add the last part, for he did not think she would take it too well. She believed full well that she could take care of herself, which she was perfectly capable of, but he wanted so badly to be able to do it for her, to take some of her burden away_. All in good time, _he told himself, helping her to her feet and pulling her into one last tight hug before stepping back into the grate. _All in good time._

* * *

**YAY! Whatcha think? Good? Bad? Mediocre? Let me know!**

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**Love you all to bits!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden_

_with her than inside it without her._


	29. Becoming Who We Are

**Hey everyone! Long time no update, I know. But I had MAJOR issues with this chapter. I got about halfway done three times before going back and starting over. The segment at the end used to be the beginning and Vanessa's part was at the end, and oh my word, if it doesn't make sense, let me know!**

**Also, HUGE thanks to: _Marteczka's Quill, TeddyVictoire, ivyflightislistening, RaindropsOnTheRooftop, pinkpearl89, Sarahrules336, Hannah In Wonderland, Meilany, SecretlyAGryffindor, Amanda, raneonthewyndoepain, Tigerlily, MaxRideRox, Hannable, Kmonae, lily-james-forevs, _and _Rain Unwritten_ for the lovely reviews! I love you all to bits!**

**And this chapter is dedicated to _MaxRideRox_! First because she sort of got me into Maximum Ride, which is really good, by the way. And also because she is the only one to guess who Stella's captor is correctly, along with a lot of other things. This one is for you, Max!**

**Disclaimer: As this is a disclaimer, you should automatically know that I don't own anything. Though I did write the charter and the Sorting Hat's song in this chapter.**

_You really can change the world - if you care enough._

**Chapter Twenty-Nine: Becoming Who We Are**

The morning after the funeral, the eight Gryffindors were sitting together at the long House table sharing a quiet breakfast. James could not help but glance occasionally at Sirius, for his best friend seemed slightly tense and nervous - not at all his usual demeanor.

"Padfoot?" he whispered while the others were absorbed in their own conversation. "What's the matter?"

Sirius gave a toothy grin and shot a look at the staff table, where Duncan Perry was conspicuously absent. James felt his own smile taking it's familiar place as the old kindling of mischief ignited in his heart.

"What did you do?"

"Well…" Sirius began, peering at the surrounded students to check for eavesdroppers. Finding none, he continued. "While I was down in the storeroom getting your Polyjuice Potion, I happened to notice a jar of powder sitting behind some boxes on the top shelf."

"Happened to notice, or searched until you found it?" James cut in, his grin broadening.

Sirius winked. "Whichever suits you, mate. Anyway, I read the label, and - you won't believe this - when it comes into contact with human skin, it immediately causes them to catch or break out in whatever disease or ailment that would make them most miserable."

"You didn't -"

"I did. All in his bed."

"I think I'm in love," James joked, staring at Sirius in awe. "That is _brilliant_, Padfoot!"

Sirius pretended to dust imaginary dirt off of his shoulder. "All in a day's work for a Marauder."

"How long will it last?"

At this point, James thought his best friend's face would surely break from the sheer size of the grin plastered upon it. "Until Madam Pomfrey can find a cure. Something I am sure she is not to eager to do."

"You, my friend, are absolutely the most wonderful person I have ever met."

"What are you two grinning about?" Alice asked, more than a hint of suspicion in her voice.

"Wouldn't you like to know, sweetheart?" Sirius replied with a second wink.

James saw a small smile find its place in Lily's features as she watched the exchange. "Actually, we probably don't want to know. Just tell me that it isn't illegal?"

Vanessa, Alice, and Frank laughed lightly at this, though Remus and Peter knew the other boys well enough to take Lily's words seriously.

"What do you think, Padfoot?" James asked in mock-thoughtfulness., scratching his chin and pretending to be deep in thought. "It's not against any law I've ever heard of."

Vanessa rolled her eyes playfully. "So it's one of those times where they are going to have to write a new law to compensate for whatever you've done?"

"Okay, that was one time!" Sirius protested loudly, causing his friends to burst into laughter.

-FLASH-

"Sirius!" Alice yelped, for she had been right in the line of fire. "Do you ever get tired of that camera?"

"Don't change the subject," Frank interjected, giving her nose a loving tweak. "I want to hear this story about a new law."

"Well," James and Sirius began together, giving each other wicked grins. "Have you ever heard of the Knight Bus?"

- - - - - - -

Mad-Eye Moody was truly beginning to scare Stella. He had been with her for a day and a half and she had not seen the bloke sleep once! Not a blink. Not that she was altogether surprised, as he seemed far too uptight for anything even resembling rest and much to paranoid to close his eyes, but surely by now he would be showing signs of tiredness. Yet he was sitting fully alert against the wall facing the heavy wooden door of their prison, staring at it intently with his mismatched eyes. Since his arrival, Stella had discovered that he could in fact see straight through the thick boards, though that did them little good in the long run. She had also learned to make no sudden movements in his presence, lest he pounce and pin her to the floor. No, with Moody, constant vigilance was best.

Aside from her strange companion, there were other things to worry about. According to Lucius Malfoy, Lord Voldemort had taken particular interest in the two prisoners and - busy as he was - would occasionally be coming to see them. The very thought made Stella shudder, earning her a twitchy glare from Moody. The last time she had come face-to-face with the dark wizard, she had come out more than worse for wear. And still she felt as though she would never receive any answers. Her captor - a cracked mirror reflection of the man he used to be - refused to do anything but taunt her, though recently, he had been threatening the tall blond with other forms of abuse, putting frightening images in her head of rape and assault that she would gladly have taken the Cruciatus Curse in the place of.

It seemed to Stella that every time she thought she was getting close to finding answers, hundreds of new questions would arise instead. It was becoming quite infuriating, and though she was constantly afraid for her life, Stella found herself growing more frustrated than fearful as time wore on. One question continued to ring her mind, never ceasing to leave her be. _What the hell do these people want with me?_

- - - - - - -

Professor Perry was not in Defense Against the Dark Arts that morning, and Lily was silently very grateful. Her inner emotions were reflected on the faces of Alice and Vanessa, while James leaned his chair back on two legs, a look of smug pleasure evident in his hazel eyes.

Throughout the class, Lily noticed Constance Malfoy shifting uncomfortably in her seat and sending the occasional glance to where she and James were sitting with their friends, which was odd, as she was suppose to have forgotten the events that occurred two nights ago. Yet there she was, not at all her usual arrogant self. Constance seemed to be having some sort of internal debate, her eyes were glassy - clearly hearing nothing of what Professor Merrythought, who was subbing the lesson, was saying - and she was chewing furiously on her plump bottom lip.

Lily, who was sitting between Vanessa and James, nudged the latter with her elbow and nodded toward to Slytherin girl. James tilted his head in curiosity and cocked an eyebrow, giving Lily a look that said exactly what Lily herself was thinking - _I though she forgot._

Lily nodded in agreement and scanned the rest of the Slytherins in search of something out of the ordinary. Maybe Constance's preoccupation had nothing to do with their little midnight escapade, but none of her classmates looked remotely out of the ordinary. Except for Sev - _Severus_, Lily corrected herself - who was sitting next to Constance and kept glancing down at her as if he were waiting for a bomb to go off.

_Maybe I'm just paranoid_, she told herself. _There is no way Constance remembers anything, and even if she did, she wouldn't tell anyone, especially Sev - Severus._

James seemed to be thinking along the same lines. He kept looking back and forth between the two Slytherins and shaking his head. Surely she didn't remember, right?

- - - - - - -

Alice spent her break out on the grounds with Frank. Autumn was truly beginning to arrive and the tall ancient trees of the Forbidden Forest had turned into a mosaic of bright, living colors.

"I had my first career meeting with McGonagall today," Frank said, absently fingering his new class ring - a thick gold band with a large ruby in the center, a lion engraved on one side and 1977 (the year he would graduate) on the other.

Alice smiled up at him, taking his hand in hers. "What did she say?"

"She told me that becoming and Auror is one of the most difficult things you can do - as if I didn't know that already - and that I'm on the right track so far, but I need an E on all of my NEWTS."

"You can do it, Frank," Alice told him, completely confident that he could. "You're brilliant, and strong, and brave. How could they not let you into the program?"

Frank grinned and ruffled her spiky blonde hair. "Thanks, Al. And besides, McGonagall told me that with this war, there is going to be a greater need for Aurors, and even if I still don't get it, more types of jobs like it will probably be opening up."

"Well," Alice said, playfully batting his hand from her hair. "Even if we lived in a Utopia, they still would not be able to turn you away."

Frank shook his head. "How on earth did I manage to find someone as wonderful as you?"

"I think I'm the lucky one in this relationship," Alice corrected, feeling chill bumps erupt down her spine as she stared up into his eyes.

Frank studied her face for a moment, just taking in her bright blue eyes and wild blonde hair. Without a word, he pulled her around the lake to their favorite beech tree and sat down, motioning for her to do the same.

"Alice," he began, once she was seated next to him. "I want to tell you something."

Puzzled, Alice cocked an eyebrow. "What is it?"

"Alice," he said, taking a deep breath. "I know we've only been dating for a few months, but in that time, I've been happier than I have ever been in my life - even with all the disaster the war is causing."

Alice opened her mouth to say something, but Frank held up his hand, silencing her.

"Let me finish, please? It's just that, I've never felt the way about anyone as I feel about you, like if I were to lose you, it would be like losing oxygen. Alice, what I'm trying to say is that even though we haven't been going out for very long I - I love you."

Alice knew she was gaping at him, mouth wide open and eyes growing large, but somehow that did not bother her. She had just been told she was loved by the man of her dreams. Of her dreams and then some. Frank was perfect for her. It was not like what she had read in romance novels, where lovers met and they completed each other's heart, made them one, it was more like he took her heart and made it grow, becoming ever larger. And he just said he loved her!

Knowing that he was waiting for a response, but unable to form words to describe her euphoria, Alice took his face in both her hands and kissed him, trying to pour every emotion inside of her into the contact of their lips. She felt Frank smile into the kiss and he pulled her closer, snaking his strong arms around her waist so she could not pull away. He was her six foot two piece of Heaven, and she rejoiced knowing that he was not letting go.

"Frank," she said softly when the kiss ended, laying her head on his chest and wrapping her arms around him tightly. "I love you, too."

- - - - - - -

Vanessa was riffling through a few dusty volumes in the school library. It was late at night, Madame Pince had long since shooed everyone away, but the brunette had snuck back in, using a Disillusionment charm to conceal herself.

She was once again looking for something - anything - to help with her werewolf rights campaign, not that she was having much luck. She tossed the book in her hands angrily back onto the shelf, knocking a few others over in the process. Sighing in aggravation, she hurriedly stood them up again, and that was when she saw it.

It was a thick book bound in simple black leather, with cracked and peeling letters spelling out the title and author. Vanessa felt her jaw drop as she carefully extracted it from the think layer of dust and cobwebs that enclosed it.

_The Charter of the New World of Magic 3000 B.C., _it read. _By Myrddin Emrys._

As she slowly pried it open, the book let out a loud creak, clearly indicating it had not seen daylight in decades. Knowing that she had found exactly what she had been looking for, Vanessa blew out her candle and took the book back up to her dormitory.

Once there, she climbed into bed and closed the curtains around herself.

"_Lumos_," she muttered, placing her newly lit wand on the bedspread beside the book. Opening it once more, she began to read.

_As our world of magic must now swiftly and silently dissipate to those who know not of it, we, those magicians left in existence, must promptly set a new legislation to govern an altered, and more discrete society than that which we were raised in._

_Before we do so, however, we feel it is only right and just to state the reason for the separation of the mundane from the magical._

_We, each species and creature represented, believe that every enchanted being is and will forever be born equal under the law, for magic is blind to status and transcends blood and birth. Those who possess not our gifts do not see this as so. While fellow human beings accept the witch and wizard with a tentative hesitation, they banish those of different breed as if they mean naught at all. We wizards shall diverge from the non magical men among us to remain with our brethren - the enchanted creatures and beings that roam this world alongside us, and have more than once saved our lives and provided us with words and ideas that have changed humanity itself._

_Though, we split with hearts made heavy, for we would not lock our world away for light and transient causes. Rather, due to centuries of corruption and tyranny stemming from those men we once held in high regard, we believe it to be our right, our obligation, to break away from such abusers and create a new society in which we might live freely, apart from the prejudice and petty hatred of men who fear our power, a fear that exists solely because they refuse to learn of magic and they fear that which they do not understand. _

_We do this not on selfish, futile grounds, instead, we do this so that those beings - equal to us in every way - may be emancipated from the bonds in which the outside world has trapped them, bonds which they could break from were they to use their talents, though they choose not to do so, so that we wizards may remain amiable with our non magical counterparts. That they would do this for us is precisely why we shall do it for them. For as all are equal, all deserve a world in which they might live without eternal persecution. Our worlds, the magical and the other, may no longer co-exist on the pretense that by separating the magical world from the monotonous prosaic that is the common man, wizards and creatures may be equal, yet while world's are together, we are truly separate._

Following this was a vast number of laws and regulations laid down thousands of years before. Vanessa was awestruck at the sheer immensity of the manuscript, having studied bits and pieces of this very book through Magical Law, but they had never been allowed to see the book in its entirety. The professor had said that as laws held within the charter had become irrelevant due to time or distance, the volumes had started to vanish and that by present day, there were no more in existence.

It was obvious why this document had faded into distant memory for most of the Wizarding world; almost every law contained reference to the equal status of man and beast. While such a society may have worked in the past, today's witches and wizards were much less tolerant. Vanessa quickly flipped to the back of the book where page after page had been signed by leaders of the Ministry and multiple other prominent organizations, with each and every species in the magical world represented. The last to sign appeared to have been the founders of Hogwarts, their elegant and ancient script sprawled across the yellow parchment in faded black ink, dated thousands of years previous. Following their names were many pages left blank, as if waiting for future rulers to join their pact, though no one ever did.

Vanessa sighed in frustration, rubbing her temples. What changed in the world? Why were people now so against anyone different than they were? The animosity was even beginning to rise amongst wizards, as if there were different breeds within the human race. Not only were werewolves cast out, but with the new regime of Lord Voldemort, many people had grown to hate each other because of the so-called purity of blood, a purity that existed only within the confines of their minds.

Now she knew that fighting within the school for the rights of werewolves was not really enough. This was an issue that needed to be resolved on the world stage, though it seemed that war was now inevitable, and the only way to end prejudice. End it, Vanessa knew, or risk creating a world that she, Lily, Remus, and Sirius could never be a part of again.

- - - - - - -

Lily awoke to hear Alice and Vanessa squealing in happiness. Rolling out of bed and pulling a robe on over her shorts and t-shirt, she joined them on Vanessa's bed to see what all of the fuss was about.

"Lily!" Alice shrieked upon seeing her best friend. She quickly grabbed the redheaded witch and pulled her inside the curtains, face alight with joy.

"What's going on, Al?" Lily asked, wincing slightly at the loud noises so early in the morning.

Alice's blue eyes were absolutely radiating happiness and a smile to rival a kid at Christmas spread across her features. "Lily!" she repeated. "You will never believe this! Frank, he told me he loved me!"

Lily stared at her friend for a moment in shock before squealing as well, suddenly wide awake.

"Isn't it fantastic?" Vanessa asked dreamily.

"Yes!" Lily exclaimed, thrilled. "Alice, that is so great, you two are perfect for each other!"

Alice grinned. "I think we are, too. He's just - _perfect_," she moaned, causing Lily and Vanessa to laugh.

"What did you say, Al?" Vanessa asked, then turned to Lily. "She was just about to say when you woke up."

A faint pink blush crept across her milky white cheeks before Alice answered. "Well, at first I couldn't even talk, so I just kissed him."

"Wait, he left _you_ of all people speechless?" Vanessa joked. "This one's a keeper."

"Believe me, I know," Alice smiled. "And after I kissed him, I told him I love him, too."

At this, Lily and Vanessa squealed louder than ever, wrapping their petite blonde friend in a group hug.

"Shut up, you three!" Waverly called half-heartedly from a few beds over.

"Sorry!" the whispered, and continued to silently bounce up and down on the bed, too full of energy to go back to sleep.

"Hey, Ness," Lily asked when she saw the corner of a large book protruding from under her friend's pillow. "What is this?"

Vanessa smacked herself on the forehead, grabbing the book. "I forgot about this in all the excitement! I was going to ask James and Sirius to take a look at, since they're in Magical Law with me, but here," she opened the large leather bound book to the first page. "You two should look at it as well. It's the original charter of the Wizarding world! All the first laws and everything."

"No _way_," Lily breathed, turning the heavy volume over in her hands. "Ness, could this help you with -"

"Werewolf rights? Yes, that's exactly what I was planning. I mean, look at it, half the stuff in there is about equality."

Lily scanned the preamble, Alice reading intently over her shoulder. "Vanessa," she said in awe. "This could change everything."

"I know," the brunette agreed seriously. "I just have to figure out how to use it. That's where James and Sirius come in. I'll bet they'd have loads of ideas."

Alice nodded, her spiky blonde hair flying everywhere. "And my dad and James' dad work in the law department of the ministry. That ought to count for something."

"And mine is head of Auror training," Vanessa added. "I don't know if that will mean anything, but you never know."

"I think this could really work," Lily said, a grin lighting up her freckled face. "Maybe you - well, we - really can change the world."

- - - - - - -

There was a loud creak as the heavy wooden door was pushed open, and Lucius Malfoy entered, carrying a tray. He shoved it roughly into Stella's hands and Moody was on his feet in a heartbeat - clearly expecting trouble.

"Relax you crazy old man," Malfoy sneered. "I'm not here to hurt you today."

"Where's -?" Stella began curiously, inquiring as to the whereabouts of her captor.

"That is really none of your business, filth," he answered, giving her a look of loathing through icy grey eyes.

Stella shrugged it off, but continued to stare into his eyes, looking for something - anything - to show that underneath it all, people truly could still have good inside of them. Finding nothing in the look he gave her, Stella decided to try a different approach - if only for something to do.

"You know," she began slowly, refusing to break her gaze. "I don't really believe this bad boy act you put on. I think that somewhere deep down, you're still a good person."

Malfoy's eyes narrowed suspiciously at the sudden turn the conversation had taken. "You know nothing about me, wench."

Stella shrugged again, playing it off. "I know more than you would think."

"What -"

Stella cut off whatever insult he was surely about to throw at her. "I think that the measure of a man is in how he treats his inferiors, not his equals. Well here, I am your inferior, and so I've seen exactly how you treat me."

"And how is that?" Malfoy asked in a bored voice, seeming ready for this conversation to be over.

Stella knew differently, however. If he wanted to end the conversation, all he had to do was walk out the door. He was curious to see what good she had found in him, and so maybe he would eventually be willing to act on that goodness.

"You act like you hate me and you don't treat me kindly, but you are much nicer than Lord Vol-" he hissed in anger as she began to say the name his own followers refused to utter. "Sorry, you are much better to me _than You-Know-Who_, and any of his other goons." She was referring to _Him, _her captor. The bastard that had locked her up like this, had tortured her. Surely he would have been satisfied by now and let her go? But no, he still enjoyed making her suffer. "You even act like I'm a human being sometimes. So I think that maybe you're better deep down than this lot. Why don't you forget about them? Run away?"

"It's not that simple," Malfoy growled, earning a glare from Moody. "You could not possibly understand."

"And why is that?" Stella challenged.

"Because you're just a stupid girl!"

Stella laughed humorlessly and rolled her eyes. "I'm smarter than you would think. And I truly believe that you could be a good person if you wanted to be. Sure it might be hard, but I think it would be worth it."

Malfoy opened his mouth to reply, but Moody cut him off.

"Don't waste your time, lass. He's far beyond saving."

Stella groaned inwardly as Malfoy turned on his heel and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. She felt that she had almost begun to see a change in him, a light struggling to break through all the darkness. Moody - cynical as he was - refused to give that light a chance and chose to extinguish it rather than spend time helping it grow. Stella imagined that Moody had seen enough of the bad side of people in his lifetime to have a hard time believing that there was any hope left for them, but she - knowing full well the naivety of it all - thought that there was still hope for everyone - _no one _was beyond saving. Not Malfoy, not You-Know-Who. Not even _Him_.

- - - - - - - -

When Lily, Alice, and Vanessa arrived in the Common Room that morning, they found a group of first, second, and third years waiting for them. They had been murmuring to each other softly, but when the sixth year girls appeared, the younger students grew very quiet.

"Um, Lily Evans?" asked a third year girl with curly strawberry blonde hair and glasses. She stepped out from the crowd, staring down at her feet and looking quite nervous.

"Yes," Lily told her in what she hoped was a reassuring tone. "What's you're name?"

"Oh, I'm Dorcas. Dorcas Meadows," she answered, drawing herself up to her full height, which was still a head shorter than Lily and Vanessa. "My friends and I were just wondering - well, we know you're really smart - and we thought maybe you could help us with Defense Against the Dark Arts? Professor Perry is pretty useless."

Lily could not help but smile at this statement, glad that so many were able to see through him. "Of course I will. And Nessa and Alice will help too, I'm sure." She looked to her two friends, who nodded, both grinning widely. "How about after lessons today?"

Dorcas glanced around at the students standing behind her and nodded. "That would be great. Thank you all very much!"

"Sure thing," Alice replied, winking. "Perry's a creep, I would much rather you learn from us anyway."

"Where should we meet?" Vanessa asked.

"In here," Lily told her, looking around the Common Room. "It should be big enough if we move some of the furniture. Besides, that way other people can join us if they want."

"Thank you," Dorcas said again. Her voice was echoed by those who stood around her. "We'll be here!"

With that, the younger students turned and left through the portrait hole, heading down to breakfast. Once they were out of sight, Alice danced in a circle on the spot.

"I'm so glad that we can finally do _something!" _she exclaimed, clapping her hands in excitement.

"And maybe," Vanessa began, looking slightly nervous. "Maybe we can talk to them about werewolf rights? I mean, it couldn't hurt."

Lily felt a smile spread across her face. "I think it's a brilliant idea, Ness! The more awareness we can raise, the better chance we have of getting somewhere."

"You know, Ness," Alice said thoughtfully as she absentmindedly rumpled her spiky blonde hair. "I think Dorcas sort of reminded me of you: take-charge and action oriented. I'll bet she'll be into your campaign for sure."

Vanessa face brightened, her chocolate brown eyes lighting up. "Really, you think? It would be incredible to have some of the younger students in on it. They could keep it up, you know, once we're gone."

"Yes," Lily nodded, leading the way out of the portrait hole. "And it's always good to teach anyone not to be prejudiced, but especially the younger ones. They don't have so much pent up hatred. They're the ones we can probably make the most difference in."

See the younger students always brought back memories for Lily, memories of happier times. She smiled to herself as she and the girls took a seat at the long Gryffindor table with the boys.

It was odd that over the course of a single summer and a few tragic events, this group of people had come closer together. Honestly, upon leaving Hogwarts at the end of the previous term, the last thing Lily ever expected was to be sitting with James Potter and his friends having a casual breakfast. Of course, it was not all together unprecedented, at least, she had always been friends with Remus. After all, he had been the first person she had ever met on her own in the frightening world of magic.

_Lily Evans was eleven years old and making her way down the train. It was packed with all sorts of people, laughing and having a grand old time, but the little redhead was terrified. She had boarded the Hogwarts Express knowing not a soul, but she put on a brave face as she wound her way through the multitude of students. Lily wished Sev was there with her, though of course, she would never admit it. Because of this magic, this world, that letter that the pair of them should never have seen - Lily's own sister hated her._

_So on she went, weaving in and out of the crowd, searching for a blessing in the form of an empty compartment. The closest thing she could find, however, was one containing only a sick looking boy, pale and exhausted, gazing longingly out the window._

_She would not realize until years later that this was possibly one of the greatest blessings she would ever receive._

_Lily opened the glass door slowly, a nervous bubble welling up in the pit of her stomach. This was it, this was the moment she had to be brave. _Just talk to him! _Lily urged herself as he glanced at her warily._

"_Er, hello," she mumbled, staring at her feet, unable to make eye contact. "Do, do you mind if I, if I join you?" Lily stuttered, cursing her tendency to blush when she was nervous._

"_Not at all," the boy told her, rubbing his grey eyes in a tired sort of way and shaking light brown hair out of them at the same time. "I'm Remus. Remus Lupin."_

_Lily gave him a small smile and took the seat across from him, fidgeting slightly with her long red curls. "Lily Evans. Are you a first year too?"_

_Remus Lupin nodded, a pained expression crossing his face, but it was gone as quickly as it had appeared. "Are you as scared as I am?"_

"_Probably more so," Lily told him, feeling tears welling up behind her green eyes as she thought of the great unknown she had been thrust into._

_The boy gave her a sympathetic look. "I doubt that. You'll make friends easy, I can tell, but me… Well let's just say I hope I'm in Hufflepuff. I hear they're a rather accepting lot."_

_Professor McGonagall had explained to Lily all about the House system when the two of them had gone to Diagon Alley to do the school shopping, and from what she had said, Hufflepuff seemed like it would have been a good place for someone as utterly terrified as she was, she needed some nice friends._

_Lily shook her head. "I probably won't make that many friends," she told him, thinking of what had happened with Petunia. "I always seem to mess things up."_

"_Well, you're not alone there," he gave her a small smile, revealing a set of straight white teeth. It was a smile that could make anyone feel better about their situation._

"_Hey, maybe we'll be Hufflepuff together," Lily suggested. "At least that way…"_

"_We'll have a friend?"_

_She nodded and looked out the window. The countryside was blurring past and Lily was sure that she was farther from home than she had ever been in her whole life. Somehow, though, facing whatever was to come did not seem like such a challenge knowing that someone felt the same way she did, knowing that in this great, wide, magical world, she had found a friend._

Lily gave Remus a smile across the table and he returned it. There were not many people in the world who had seen you weak and terrified, who had been there with you even though they were just as frightened, and Remus Lupin was one of those people. Thinking back, Lily wondered what it would have been like had she and Remus been put into Hufflepuff together. Surely they would have ended up the best of friends, without years of Marauder mischief to intervene, but as Lily looked around at the faces of her other friends, she could not bring herself to regret anything.

_Lily was standing in the Great Hall with a group of other first years, waiting to be sorted. Remus was on one side, Sev on the other, and although she and Sev had made up in the train, Lily felt a small tug in her heart when she realized that if she was sorted with Sev, she would probably never see Remus at all. And she would be all right with that, she supposed, but what about Remus? They had become hesitant friends on the train and she would feel awful if she had to leave him to face this world alone._

_Despite this inner conflict, curiosity rose inside her as Professor McGonagall stood before them with a old ratty hat and a wooden stool. The woman sat the hat down and every face in the hall turned toward it eagerly, as if expecting something._

What the -? _Lily thought, but her question was interrupted as a brim near the bottom of the hat opened and it began to sing._

_Step right up, go on sit down,_

_Place me upon your head,_

_So that I might see deep inside,_

_And know all the things you've left unsaid._

_As this year begins anew,_

_A fresh group will take their place,_

_Among old friends that have returned,_

_They shall become a new and lively face._

_But be aware friends young and old,_

_I do not wish to put an end,_

_To bonds made strong in years by,_

_Rather that old prejudices you amend._

_Dear Hufflepuffs, so fair and just,_

_Your time has come to shine,_

_Stop the feuds between the houses four_

_Erase unwritten lines._

_Witty Ravenclaws, be wise and know,_

_That though your brains are filled with smarts,_

_No knowledge in the world amounts,_

_To what you can find within your hearts._

_Sly Slytherins, cunning you are, _

_But use those scheming minds with care,_

_Find friendship instead of followers,_

_And you'll have something true and rare._

_Brave Gryffindors, valiant and bold,_

_Know that courage comes with fear,_

_Be not ashamed of weaknesses,_

_For that is why your friends are near._

_This year begins a fresh, blank slate,_

_Fill it only with the things,_

_You would wish for future men to see,_

_So that they may follow in your lead._

_Unite four houses, stand as one,_

_Think of a rose by any other name,_

_For though you all wear different colors,_

_Deep inside you're much the same._

_There was long applause throughout the hall and Lily felt Remus exhale beside her. She felt relieved as well, though she was also worried about what was to come. What if she was put into a house with no friends? What if she simply was not sorted at all?_

_As fear began eating away at her thoughts, Professor McGonagall pulled out a list and began calling names._

"_Black, Sirius!"_

_A boy she had met on the train sauntered to the front and whipped the hat onto his head in a very showy gesture. Lily rolled her eyes as some of the other students laughed. Sirius sat their for a long time, but Lily was unable so see his face since the hat slid all the way down past his eyes, but she could have sworn she saw him tense slightly before the hat yelled, "GRYFFINDOR!"_

_There was a stunned silence before a table on the far right of the hall burst into timid applause. Lily remembered Sirius saying that his whole family had been in Slytherin, so she assumed everyone was just surprised._

_A few more scared looking students were sorted into Hufflepuff and Slytherin before "Evans, Lily!"_

"_Good luck," Sev hissed in her ear as she made her way slowly to the front, trying with all her might to keep the fear off of her face._

_The hat was placed on her head and soon all she could see was the blackness inside of it._

Muggleborn, eh? _Said a quiet voice in her ear. Lily gasped quietly as she realized that hat was speaking to her. _Had a rough time the past few days, yet still making the most of the situation. Hmm. You are a bit difficult, brave and brilliant, but which to choose…

"_Well," Lily whispered, feeling rather foolish talking to a hat. "My best friend wants me to be in Slytherin…"_

No, no, no, _the voice said. _You may be cunning, but that is not at all the place for you. You would regret that decision. I'm thinking it better be _"GRYFFINDOR!"_

_The last word was yelled to the whole hall and the table Sirius Black had joined earlier once again applauded. Lily took the hat off and glanced back at Severus and Remus, flashing them a small, sad smile before joining the rest of the Gryffindors._

"_Hinton, Alice!" McGonagall called._

_A tiny little girl with blonde hair that stuck out in every direction all but danced her way to the stool. The hat seemed to swallow her petite figure, but she sat up straight and tall. After a moment, the hat bellowed "GRYFFINDOR!" and Lily clapped along with the rest._

_When Remus was called, he approached the stool slowly, face screwed up in concentration. Mere seconds after touching his head, the hat called "GRYFFINDOR!" Remus did not look all together thrilled with the arrangement, but took a seat to Lily with a smile._

"_McDonald, Mary" and "Pettigrew, Peter" joined them as well. As did "Potter, James" - another boy she had met on the train and could already tell that she would not get along with. A few more names were called before "Reese, Vanessa" took center stage. She was tall, with black hair that fell to the middle of her back. Her brown eyes scanned the room before the hat covered them up. A moment later, she was sorted into Gryffindor, followed by "Rivers, Waverly," who seemed to already know her. The two girls sat together giggling and whispering as they watched the rest of the sorting._

Watching that same Vanessa Reese talking and laughing with Remus, Alice, and the others, Lily realized just how much things had changed. They eight of them had been brought together by all sorts of various circumstances, and together they had stayed. Sometimes Lily wondered if it was the friends that you had to struggle and fight to make in the first place turned out to be the ones that would fight just as hard for you in return. Then again, she had never had to do that with Alice or Rem, and they were some of the closest to her. _Maybe, _Lily thought, as an image of Stella Redwood joined the others in her mind's eye_. Maybe some friends have to be fought for, and others life just gives you as a blessing, someone that can help prepare you for or help bring you through whatever else life has in store._

As breakfast came to an end, the Gryffindors stood in unison and made their way out of the Great Hall, and they began the journey down into the dungeons; Lily linked her arms through those of Alice and Vanessa, grateful that they shared the bond they did.

_After dinner, a prefect by the name of Geoffrey O'Brien led the first years up to Gryffindor tower. After explaining the basics to them, he released them to their beds._

_Lily climbed the staircase behind Mary, Alice, Vanessa, and Waverly and followed them into the dormitory. All of her things had already been brought up and were placed at the end of a bed between two others labeled _Alice Hinton _and _Vanessa Reese_. Lily unpacked a few things when someone tapped her on the shoulder. She turned to see a girl her height with curly chestnut brown hair and bright blue eyes standing behind her with a camera in hand._

"_Hi," she said. "I'm Mary. Do you mind if I get a picture of all of us? My parents told me to send some home."_

"_Oh, of course," Lily told her and went to join the others. Mary set the camera on a dresser and ran to get in the shot as well._

_-FLASH-_

"_Thanks girls!" Mary exclaimed happily. "Would you all, er, tell me your names again please? I have an awful memory."_

_Lily grinned at the girl's warm appearance and outgoing spirit. "I'm Lily."_

"_Alice!" a petite girl piped up, ruffling her already disastrous blonde hair._

_The tall girl with the black hair and brown eyes smiled as well. "I'm Vanessa."_

"_And I'm Waverly," the last girl told her. She was short, though not as short as Alice, and had brown hair that fell around her face in gentle waves, framing cute asian eyes._

"_It's lovely to meet you all!" Mary said cheerfully, pulling on her pajamas. The others followed her lead. "If you don't mind me asking, are any of you Muggle born?"_

_Lily had wondered if this would be a problem. Sev had told her that it would not be, but he was not here. "Er, I am," she answered timidly._

"_Oh wonderful!" Mary exclaimed, rushing over to hug Lily around the neck. "I was so worried I would be the only one! Do you think it will make a difference?"_

_Before Lily could answer, Alice jumped in. "Of course not, unless you were in Slytherin. Even purebloods can't do magic until we come to school, and most people don't care what kind of blood you've got. I certainly don't." She crossed her thin little arms in a defiant sort of way. "The Slytherins that do are just too high and mighty."_

_Vanessa nodded in agreement. "My dad married a Muggle, so it really doesn't matter. And don't worry, you aren't behind."_

_Lily and Mary nodded in thanks and the five girls climbed into bed, exhausted and exhilarated all at the same time._

Lily still had that picture. It was in the box with all the others she and James had taken from her house. And then there was James himself. She had a million memories of him, most of them unpleasant.

_As Lily sat in Charms on the first day of school, she was trembling with nerves. On one side sat Alice, chatting away before the bell rang, but Lily only caught every other word. The seat on her other side was empty, but not for long._

_James Potter strolled into the classroom with his already-signature cocky grin in place. He glanced around the room before making his way over to Lily._

"_Would the fair lady mind if I sat beside her?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows in what he clearly thought was a seductive manner. Nervous as she was, Lily could not contain a snort of laughter._

"_Only if you tame the gerbils growing out of your forehead," she replied coolly, surprising herself slightly._

_James, too, was quite obviously taken aback by this snide comment. He stared at Lily as if he had never seen anything like her, before composing himself and making a grand gesture of sitting down beside her._

"_Anything for you," he grinned._

_That was the first time Lily smacked James Potter._

Lily knew she must look quite odd grinning bemusedly to herself in the middle of the corridor, but the thought did not bother her. Looking back, she began to see that many of the moments when she had been furious with James for one reason or another were now laughable situations at best. Going at it with James over the years had been a source of annoyance, of course, but also a source of excitement. He was the one person in the world that she could be brutally honest with and who could be just as harsh in return.

_A thirteen year old Lily Evans was sitting under her favorite beech tree by the lake one afternoon with Mary, Waverly, Alice and Vanessa lounging in the grass around her, taking advantage of a lazy Sunday. As soon as Lily had begun to enjoy herself, the mood was shattered as James Potter sauntered over, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew in tow. Remus followed the three of them, a slightly apologetic look on his face._

"_Oi, Evans, shouldn't you be studying or something?" he taunted, sitting down across from her and pulling a snitch out of his pocket._

_Lily did not need to look up from the book she was reading to know that he ran a hand through his jet black hair, making it even messier than before. "No, Potter. You're the one that should be studying, or have you forgotten? There's a Potions test tomorrow, you know."_

_Only then did she look up to rejoice in the expression of panic that flashed across his face. For Lily knew he and Sirius had been too busy discussing their latest prank to listen to anything Slughorn had said in class on Friday, though he had mentioned nothing of a test. James' wide eyes were quickly replaced by an arrogant grin._

"_I'll just skive off," he shrugged, letting the snitch fly a ways before grabbing it out of the air. One of the girls gasped in excitement as he did so._

_Lily mirrored his shrug and went back to her book. "Suit yourself. Though I would have imagined the great James Potter would have been brave enough to take the test whether he studied or not."_

_She could hardly contain a grin as she forced herself to continue staring downward._

"_I'm only doing what's best for my grade. We can't all be snooty, anti-social, know-it-alls."_

_Her green eyes snapped upwards and locked with his hazel ones. "If I'm so anti-social, why on earth do you waste your precious time talking to me?"_

_He faltered for a moment before answering. "Because you're the most gorgeous know-it-all I've ever met."_

"_Mmhmm." By now, Lily was used to his drastic conversation turners, and she had found it easier to ignore it in most cases._

"_You know I mean it, darling," he winked, rumpling his hair again._

_Lily grinned sarcastically. "Of course you mean it, just _look_ at me!"_

_Sirius burst out into his friendly, bark-like laugh and the others soon joined him. Lily winked back at James and gave him a smile that clearly said "I win."_

"_This time, Evans," he told her quietly, obviously trying to keep a grin off of his face. "But there's always next time."_

"_I look forward to it," she shot back, snatching the snitch out of the air before James could grab it. "I believe I'll keep this as a trophy for my victory, what do you think?"_

_James smiled and moved closer, merely inches from her face. "Anything for you."_

_And, as always, she smacked him for it._

To be quite honest, Lily was surprised James did not have a permanent bruise on the side of his face, she had certainly hit him enough over the years. Though maybe he had eventually grown immune to it.

Then again, she had come to a point where it simply was no longer worth it to waste the energy it took it slap him. Every other thing out of his mouth was insult or flattery, either of which deserved a good thump, so Lily had decided to take a more pacifistic approach.

_Lily was entering her fourth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and to her utter dismay, she found herself sitting beside James at the Welcoming feast._

"_So how was your summer?" he asked casually, catching her off-guard with such a normal comment._

_She rolled her eyes as she put mashed potatoes onto her plate. "Wouldn't you like to know."_

"_If it makes you any more willing to tell me about it, I could tell you about mine first?"_

_Lily turned all the way around on the bench so she could look him directly in the eye. "What has gotten into you?"_

"_I don't know," he shrugged, but grinned. "Really I was just trying to find a way to tell you how miserable I was all summer without your charming presence."_

_Lily raised an eyebrow at him, holding in laughter. "You are such a loser."_

_He smiled at her and winked. "But I'm your loser."_

"_Oh good!" Lily exclaimed sarcastically, dramatically putting a hand over her heart. "I was so worried you were falling for that Seventh Year Ravenclaw everyone is so crazy about. It's such a relief to know that I still have my pesky little stalker." She rumpled his hair before his hand could reach it and turned to strike up a conversation with Alice._

"_Not so fast," James said, taking her shoulder and turning her around to face him. There was an odd expression on his face, though not one she was unfamiliar with. He was looking at Lily as if he had never seen anything quite like her, a face she saw often._

"_What?" Lily asked, tilting her head to the side inquiringly._

"_Judging by past experience, the side of my face should be throbbing with pain right about now."_

_Lily shrugged, trying not to smile. "The past is the past. Perhaps I simply got sick of wasting my energy."_

"_Or you can't hurt me anymore because you've realized that you're madly in love with me," James grinned, cocking an eyebrow. This time it was a bit more seductive than previous attempts, not that Lily would admit to that._

"_I thought you told me you were going to tame those gerbils on your forehead," she stated, still forcing the serious look on her face._

_James glanced towards his eyebrows and his smile widened. "I suppose they're just to wild about you to resist."_

_At this, Lily finally burst into laughter. "Potter, you say the most ridiculous things."_

"_But I always mean them," he replied, suddenly serious. Lily cursed his outstanding ability to lead a conversation exactly where she did not what it to go. An ability that had never left him._

Lily continued to smile inwardly as the harsh fumes of the Potions classroom wafted around her and the various groans of nearby students met her ears. Throughout her life here at Hogwarts, she had always considered a moment with James Potter a moment wasted, but now as she recalled those very moments, she realized with a jolt that each and every one of them meant something special to her. It was not just the fact that they all led up to her current friendship with him, perhaps it was also the fact that James was a constant in this ever-shifting world. Whether she liked it or not, he was forever ingrained in her memory of her time at school.

Hogwarts was not Hogwarts without him.

_In their fifth year, Lily and James had received detention together and were making their way down to the dungeons. When they reached Professor Slughorn's office, James knocked and the Potions master was there almost immediately._

"_Ah, Miss Evans, Mr. Potter, I was just on my way to the staff room. Just clean out the storeroom as best you can. Get rid of anything that has expired. No magic, now," he chuckled. "Goodnight."_

"_Goodnight, Professor," they said in unison and made their way through the Potions classroom and into the storeroom._

"_Bloody Hell...." James said when he opened the door. "This'll take all night."_

_For indeed, the shelves were overflowing with boxes, viles, tubs, and jars containing all sorts of putrid smelling things._

_All of a sudden, James plunged his entire face into Lily's hair and inhaled. Lily jerked away._

"_What are you doing?"_

"_Your hair, it always smells like vanilla. I figured it might be the last good thing I ever smell," James said as though it were the most obvious thing in the world._

_Lily rolled her eyes, not sure whether to be touched or worried by the fact that he paid attention to the smell of her hair._

"_Come on, we'd best get started if we want to finish before dawn," she told him, taking a deep breath and dragging him into the storeroom._

"_And what if I don't want to finish? What if I'd rather spend more time with you?"_

"_Puh-lease," Lily said, giving him a sardonic look. "Your cutesy little one-liners may work on the other girls here, but in case you haven't noticed, I'm not other girls."_

"_Believe me," James said quietly, staring into her eyes. "I know."_

_Lily cleared her throat, tearing her eyes away from his. "Let's get started then, shall we?"_

_Though she would never admit it, Lily actually had a good time that night. The pair had fun trying to guess what everything was and what kinds of potions they could possibly be used in._

_It was nearing two in the morning and they were almost done when James, standing on his toes on the step stool, knocked a vat of age-old troll blood over, covering Lily and himself._

"_Are you alright?" he asked, jumping down and hoping that she was not angry._

_Lily wiped the blood from her eyes, looked at James for a moment, and burst out laughing._

"_Er, Lily? Are you feeling alright?" he asked again, putting a hand to her forehead._

"_I'm, I'm – fine!" Lily said through her laughter, she was clutching her sides and tears were forming in her eyes._

_James, deciding that Lily was clearly not angry, joined in. The whole situation was laughably absurd._

_They laughed for almost ten minutes. Finally calming down and gasping for breath, Lily grabbed the mop and began cleaning the floor._

"_It's no use, love." James smiled as Lily spun around in circles making more drops than she was able to clean._

"_I suppose you're right," Lily sighed, shrugging as she put the mop down._

"_Wait, Lily Evans – THE Lily Evans – just admitted that I, James Potter, was right?"_

"_I did, didn't I?" Lily laughed. "Well, remember it then, because you won't ever hear me say it again."_

"_I think I'll remember this night anyway," James laughed, ringing some of the troll blood out of his robes._

"_What do we do? Professor McGonagall took our wands so we couldn't use magic, but how do we get rid of the blood so we can finish?" Lily _

_asked, sitting down on an upturned bucket._

"_Well, darling, disgusting though it may be, I think we'll just have to wait for it to dry and finish up then."_

"_That could take ages," she moaned, putting her tired face in her hands and rubbing her eyes._

"_I'm perfectly fine with waiting," James said with a grin, sitting against the wall and patting the floor beside him._

"_Only because I'd rather not fight with you at the moment," Lily told him as she got off the bucket and plopped down beside him._

"_So.... Are things just going to go back to normal tomorrow?" James asked after awhile, trying to keep a hint of sadness out of his voice._

"_What do you mean?"_

"_You know, I ask you out, you call me an obnoxious git, the usual."_

"_Well, you can be an obnoxious git," Lily reasoned, but she was smiling. "You're being nice tonight."_

"_I'm always nice to you, love."_

"_But not to other people." James knew she meant Snape._

"_So does that mean you would date me if I was nicer to Snivillus?" he asked hopefully._

"_Severus. And no, not date you. But I would consider being friends with you."_

"_I'll take that, love."_

"_But if we ever become friends, you have to stop with the pet names," Lily said sternly, crossing her arms and looking, she knew, very much like Professor McGonagall._

"_I'm sorry, darling, but you're just too, well, darling, for me to resist."_

_Lily rolled her eyes. "I already told you those lines don't work on me."_

"_They aren't lines, hun, I mean every word."_

That was when the two of them had actually started to become friends, and Lily locked the memory in her heart, knowing that she would always, _always_ treasure it.

* * *

**Wow, for some reason, this chapter was ridiculously hard to write! I hope it came out alright, please let me know if there is anything confusing or wrong!**

**ALSO! I now have found all of my main characters, like pictures of people that look like them, so if you want to see them, just let me know!**

**And, as always,**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**The longer and juicier, the better!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_Flying is simple, just throw yourself at the ground and miss. _


	30. Something to Fight For

**Hello darlings! So sorry that it's been a while, I hope this chapter makes up for the absence!**

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**Thanks to **_**ivyflightislistening, Twilighter, MaxRideRox, -the smell of autumn-, Joelle8, Sarahrules336, xrainbowsx, Shadow HeHaHo, Kmonae, wickdwrtr, DesiredSerenity, dancingdork, lana-bear, SnarkySidekick, SecretlyAGryffindor, pinkpearl89, hpdreamer500, southendunited7, **_**and **_**MyTinyDancer **_**for the lovely reviews! You guys are the reason I'm writing, thank you all so much!**

**This chapter is dedicated to **_**ivyflightislistening**_**, who has been a sort of unsung hero for me. She has been reviewing since Chapter Eight and has always left me long, wonderful reviews that never fail to make me smile (and even laugh sometimes). So a HUGE thank you to Miss Ivy. Love you to bits!**

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**And I ADORE the quote this time. (:**

_The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him._

**Chapter Thirty: Something to Fight For**

Lily rolled up the sleeves of her knitted sweater and pushed against the faded, squishy couch in front of the fire in the Gryffindor Common Room, but to no avail. Throwing all her weight into it, the redhead led out a sigh of frustration as it refused to budge. There was a soft chuckle behind her and Lily spun to see James standing a few feet away, looking on in amusement.

"What?" she asked dryly, putting her hands on her hips and blowing a fly away strand of hair from her eyes.

James grinned at her, shaking his head. "You are too adorable."

"And you're too annoying. Are you going to give me a hand?" Lily retorted.

James smiled and took a few quick steps to where she was standing.

"What are you -?" Lily began, when he stopped merely inches from her, so that her nose was almost pressed against his broad chest. She felt her breath catch in her throat as his arm snaked around her back, and she shut her eyes, forcing herself to stay calm. Goosebumps broke out on her skin as he pulled something from her back pocket. In spite of herself, Lily could not contain a feeling of loss as he moved away from her.

He gave her a cocky grin that masked a sweeter smile and held her wand up in front of her face. "Do you think this would help?"

Lily smacked herself in the forehead and took it from him, turning towards the couch so he would not see her blush.

"_Wingardium leviosa_," she muttered, and the sofa immediately rose off the ground slightly and moved back against the wall with ease.

"What were you trying to move it for, anyway?" James asked, absently running a hand through his untidy black hair, clearly unaware that he had just set her heart pounding a mile a minute.

_What is the matter with you? _Lily scolded herself. _It's just James! _She took a deep, calming breath and answered, "Some of the younger students asked Alice, Nessa, and I to help train them in Defense Against the Dark Arts, since Perry obviously has other things on his mind than teaching us anything."

"Really?" James confirmed, his hazel eyes lighting up. "That's great, Lily! You'll make a wonderful teacher."

Feeling the blush creeping back into her cheeks, Lily quickly turned to move another armchair. "I hope so."

"You will." James' voice was only a breath in her ear and his hand was on her shoulder. This was all it took to cause Lily's heart rate to accelerate once more. _Get a grip! _She instructed herself, mortified that he could have such an effect on her.

"When do you start?" he continued as though nothing had happened, moving another chair out of the way.

_Damn him_, Lily, who was not one to swear, thought bitterly. How could he be so casual when she was losing it? "Oh, in a few moments, whenever they get done with dinner," Lily told him, forcing herself to calm down and be normal. Surely she was just having a strange day? "Alice and Vanessa had to run by the library, but they should be back any minute."

"What are you going to teach them?"

Lily bit her lip, moving the last sofa with James' help and then plopping down on it. "I don't know yet. I was thinking I would just ask them what they are supposed to be learning and go from there."

The truth was, Lily had no idea how she was going to do this. They were all in different years with varying levels of experience. Not to mention the fact that Lily had never really even tutored more than one student at a time, and to be honest, she was growing quite nervous. When her knees began bobbing up and down out of nerves, she knew James had to have noticed something was up, and sure enough, a second later he was kneeling in front of her on the floor, a hand on each knee to still them.

"Relax, darling, please?" he asked softly, staring up at her through pleading hazel eyes. "You have no reason to be nervous. You're going to be fantastic. And Alice and Ness will be there to help you, and I'll stick around too in case you need me."

In spite of the fact that he was actually making her feel much better, Lily pushed him away on principle. "No pet names," she told him off-handedly.

"I've told you," he said, cocky grin back in place as the two of them got to their feet. "You're just too darling to resist."

Lily closed her eyes and screwed up her face in mock concentration.

"What are you doing?" James asked, puzzled.

"Imagining hitting you," Lily told him, keeping her eyes shut tight. "It's almost as good as actually doing it except my hand doesn't hurt afterwards."

When she opened her eyes, James was looking at her with that familiar expression, as though he had never seen anyone quite like her, though this time with a hint of amusement thrown in.

"You, Lily Evans, are goofy," he told her, and Lily laughed.

"Oh, come on, surely you can do better than that?" Lily challenged. "You are James Potter. 'Goofy' is not even a comeback in your book."

"Well, it was goofy or beautiful, and I figured goofy would make you less angry."

There it was - that gift of turning the conversation completely around in a few short words. Lily was saved the trouble of having to reply when the portrait hole swung open and Alice and Vanessa entered, followed by a train of second and third years. James winked at her and took a seat on the couch, motioning for her to carry on. Lily rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue, knowing that it was childish but not really caring. She turned back to the other students and noticed that there were definitely more of them than there had been the other day.

"Lily?" Dorcas, who was at the front again, asked, trying very hard not to sound timid. "We had some friends in other houses that wanted to come. Alice and Vanessa said it was okay."

"Of course," Lily answered immediately, counting 17 of them in a brief sweep of the crowd. "Though we might have to practice in shifts, I don't know if there is enough room for all of us."

A murmur of agreement ran through the crowd as Alice and Vanessa joined Lily in front of them.

"So," Alice began, clapping her hands together and hopping up on a chair so she could see over them. "Would you all please tell us your names and houses? Just so we can get to know you."

The group glanced around at each other briefly before Dorcas once more took the lead. The strawberry blonde stepped forward, pushed her crimson glasses up on her nose and announced that she was Dorcas Meadowes, of Gryffindor.

"Caden Devlin," piped up a girl behind Dorcas. She was quite pretty, with long blonde hair that fell to her lower back and stormy grey eyes. "I'm in Gryffindor, too. Third year, like Dorcas"

"I'm Marlene. Marlene McKinnon," said another girl. She had black hair that fell just past her shoulders with the ends dyed pink and purple. Her hazel eyes contained a friendly smile and she seemed sweet despite her odd hairstyle. "Gryffindor, third year."

A boy with blond hair and green eyes stepped up next. "I'm Edgar Bones, third year Gryffindor."

"Oh! Are you Amelia's younger brother?" Vanessa asked. Amelia Bones was a year ahead of Lily, though she was in Hufflepuff.

The boy nodded grudgingly, running a hand through his hair in a frustrated sort of way.

The next boy to speak up was darker looking, with black hair that fell into black eyes and a standoffish attitude. "Neal Kemp, Gryffindor, third year."

"Gale Garrison," another boy said. He had wavy brown hair and chocolate brown eyes. He gave the older girls a smile before continuing. "Gryffindor, third year."

"I'm Elphias Dodge," added a boy with dark brown hair. His wire-rimmed glasses framed honey brown eyes. "I'm a third year Gryffindor too."

A tiny Asian girl with red hair danced to the front of the group, smiling brightly at the sixth years. "I'm Emmeline Vance. I'm in Ravenclaw, third year."

"I'm Nicole Gent, I'm also a Ravenclaw third year," said another girl, with curly brown hair and crystal blue eyes.

Then came a tall boy with scruffy brown hair and eyes the color of ice. "Benjy Fenwick, Ravenclaw, fourth year."

"Caradoc Dearborn," said the boy standing beside him. He was darkly handsome, with tan skin and deep brown eyes. "Ravenclaw, fourth year."

A pretty girl with long black hair and golden eyes came next. "Aurora McKinnon, Gryffindor, second year."

"Allan Kemp," added another boy. He looked a lot like his brother, Neal, with the dark shaggy hair and deep eyes. "Second year Gryffindor."

"Sturgis Podmore," said an Asian boy with floppy black hair. He came to the front and extended his hand to Lily. She shook it as he continued, "I'm in Hufflepuff, third year."

A tall girl with her dark brown hair pulled back in a bandana waved from the back of the group. "I'm a third year Hufflepuff, too - Crystal Pallaton."

"I'm Tonks," added yet another girl. She had pale skin and the brightest pink hair Lily had ever seen. And her eyes seemed unable to decide what color they wanted to be, rather they took on the appearance of a mirror, reflecting whatever she was looking at. "Just Tonks. Hufflepuff, third year."

The final girl seemed more nervous than the others. She stepped from the crowd but hid behind a curtain of golden brown hair, green eyes peeping through at Lily as though wondering if she should speak at all. "Er," she began quietly. "I'm Krista Bronwyn. I'm a third year… In Slytherin. Um, if you want me to leave, I will, I mean -"

"No," Lily cut her off, putting a hand on the younger girl's shoulder. "You're definitely welcome here."

She was awarded with a dazzling smile and even though she was overwhelmed with the vast amount of names and faces to learn, Lily could not help but feel that they were getting off on the right foot.

- - - - - - -

The monotonous events of daily life in captivity were by now becoming routine to Stella Redwood. Time was irrelevant, the only thing that even dimly reflected it were the two meals a day that Lucius would deliver. She assumed he brought them in the morning and at night, but as all it consisted of was a lumpy gruel and glass of water, she never knew which was which. He did not stay anymore, not after she had told him there was good inside of him. He shoved the two bowls into her hands and rushed away, almost - _almost_ - losing his well kept composure.

Her captor never came anymore. She assumed he was still on his mission for Voldemort, and Stella was not going to complain. This dark prison was not quite as bad without her pain-inducing warden.

And when she realized that, Stella learned something about herself - as one often does in difficult situations. She was an optimist, always searching for the good side of things, and once she discovered it, she used it to its full potential.

The good thing, she decided, about being in that cellar was the fact that she was given time to think, time to explore the depths of her own mind and heart. People today never had much opportunity to do so, and Stella thought that maybe that was what made so many individuals weak in their ideas and beliefs. Maybe everyone should spend some time in captivity - though without the torture, perhaps - because it gave one time to look inside oneself to see and create who they truly are.

Maybe that was why her mother always gave the best advice. She would spend in hour each morning in deep meditation, focusing on problems at hand in her own life and problems with the rest of the world. She would say that it is easy when we are in prosperity to give advice to the afflicted, something she had learned while reading the works of Aeschylus. Not only would she say it, though, she would apply it. Before ever giving advice to anyone, she would do everything she could to put herself in the shoes of the other person. Try to feel their grief before cutting in with shallow, petty words. She actually cared about the outcome of other people's difficulties, and perhaps that was the true secret of advice-giving.

Stella had only meditated with her mother on rare occasion, and now she regretted not doing it more often. Maybe if she had, she would be a more effective thinker in her current circumstances. Or maybe, learning from doing it completely on her own, she would forge her own way of doing things that was even better.

Either way, Stella had decided that she was going to make the most of everything she was going through. She knew she had the choice of giving up and shutting down or soldiering through. Perhaps giving up seemed like the easier option now, but Stella knew from her own experience that easy and right do not often coincide. And what if she was rescued? Did she really want her figurative knight in shining armor to fight his way through to her only to find that she was merely an empty shell of the person he was hoping to save? No, she would soldier on.

She had realized that while she may not be out there dueling with evil wizards or spying on their secret meetings, she could still fight this war in her own way. For like it or not, she had - quite literally - been dragged into this battle, so she might as well put up a resistance to the evil that was threatening to envelop the world. Maybe from the cellar she could not do good on a large scale, but this war was not one of flesh alone, it was also a war within the minds of the people. The Death Eaters strove to induce fear in the hearts of others, that was their greatest weapon, so maybe Stella's greatest weapon could be courage. Her mother used to tell her that you could not have courage without fear, so maybe courage was letting the Death Eaters scare you, but then fighting back once they thought they had won.

Stella was no philosopher, she was not a great scholar, and she was not really all that wise, she knew, but she had a heart and she had her mother's unfailing hope that things could be better once you know exactly what is going on. _If you know, you can overcome _- that was her most common saying, for it is the unknown we fear when we look on death and darkness, and while no one can know what happens beyond death, if you know what you are willing to die for - hell, what you are willing to live for - than nothing in the world can ever truly defeat you.

- - - - - - -

"All right," Lily said, speaking to Dorcas as the others crowded around. "What is it that you should be learning?"

"According to the book, we should be starting on '_Impedimenta_,'" the younger girl answered. A few nearby students nodded in agreement.

Lily rolled up her fallen sleeves and pulled her long red hair up into a messy ponytail. Taking out her wand, she signaled Dorcas to follow her into the middle of the room.

"Okay," she began, holding up her wand. "Can everyone hear me?"

There was a chorus of 'yes' before Lily turned back to Dorcas.

"This spell is used to stop attackers. It causes people to freeze, and if it is strong enough, it throws them backward. Dorcas, you're going to try it on me, and I want you to focus on exactly what you want to happen. Picture it in your mind. The key to most defensive spells is having the confidence and the drive to go through with them, never forget that."

The shorter girl nodded and pushed her crimson glasses up on the bridge of her nose, clearly concentrating very hard. She took a deep breath and slashed her wand through the air calling "_Impedimenta_!"

Lily felt an odd tingling sensation throughout her body, but she was still able to move. "Hmm," she said thoughtfully, replaying the attempt in her head. "Instead of slashing your wand, try it more like this." Without speaking the incantation, she trust her wand arm forward directly.

Dorcas nodded and mirrored Lily's movements, repeating the incantation. This time, Lily was actually knocked off balance, though there was immediately a strong hand at her elbow to steady her. She turned to find herself looking up into a pair of sparkling hazel eyes.

"Thanks, James," she told him quietly. He winked at her and returned to the sofa where he had been sitting. "That was much better Dorcas! Now I want all of you to get into pairs and try it. Dorcas, you can work with Vanessa. Alice and I will walk around and see if we can help you."

They did as they were told, pairing up and spreading out. Looking on, Lily thought that they were not half bad. None of them were perfect, of course, but all of them - even Krista the Slytherin - had a sort of determination in them and in their actions, making them far better than they probably should have been considering recent circumstances. And seeing that driving spirit in all of them gave Lily hope that even though dark forces were gathering on the horizon, there were people willing and ready to fight back.

- - - - - - -

"What are you doing?"

Vanessa looked up from her low table by the fire in the common room to see Remus glancing down over her shoulder. She grinned at him and motioned for him to sit. Once he did, she scooted closer to him and showed him the large dusty volume that sat on the table before her.

"Do you know what this is?" she asked quietly, eyes alight.

Remus looked at the faded ink and shook his head.

"This, Rem, is the Charter of the Wizarding World." Her words had the desired effect. Remus' jaw dropped down to the floor and his eyes practically leapt from his skull.

"The original Charter?" he asked softly, awe evident in his voice.

Vanessa nodded, smiling wider. "I'm using it to prove that everyone deserves fair rights. But the sad thing is, I was thinking of America. You know how they recently had their Civil Rights Movement? Alice was telling me about it, they learned about it in Muggle Studies. Anyway, apparently, the African Americans legally had the same rights as the white Americans for almost one hundred years before they began to be treated fairly, and I'm worried that that's what happening here."

Remus gave her a tired smile and put a comforting hand on her back. "Listen, Ness, it means the world to me that you are doing this at all. It honestly doesn't matter to me if you succeed - though I think you have the potential to. Just knowing that you care enough to fight for this is everything."

"I'm going to make a difference, Rem. I have to," she told him, determination blazing across her face. "For you, and for everyone else. It all started because of you, but now that I've started to see the extent of the discrimination, failure isn't an option."

"Then we won't fail," he assured her. "I'll help you too, with whatever I can."

Though not often one for outright public displays of affection, Vanessa threw her arms around Remus in a huge hug, burying her face in his chest. He could feel her smiling though his oxford and could not help but grin as well as he pulled her closer, for once ignoring the curious first years that sat watching.

"Thanks, Rem," she told her, her joyous voice muffled slightly.

He gently kissed the top of her curly brown head. "No, Ness, thank you. You give me something to care about, something to fight for."

- - - - - - -

Sirius was walking hastily but stealthily through a dark corridor. It was past curfew in Hogwarts, but the Gryffindor was on a mission. James might have been going slightly soft recently, but Sirius was not going to stop being Padfoot, he was going to continue pulling pranks until his dying day.

All right, so maybe that was a bit dramatic, but whatever. He ducked into what he thought was an empty classroom as he heard the footsteps of a prefect round the corner, but to his surprise, when he made to poke his head out to look down the hallway, the door seemed to have locked itself from the outside.

Sirius ran an aggravated hand down his face and scratched his head as he examined the door. Carved in thick, loopy letters near the handle were the words: _Cella of Ostendo sum Specialis, _followed by_: Is ianua vadum non patefacio insquequo negotium of cella ostendo sum ut invicem specialis of suum pectus pectoris._

Having no idea what any of it meant, Sirius groaned loudly in frustration. He pulled out his wand and tried a variety of unlocking spells, but with no luck, so he settled for talking to the door. Call him crazy, but some rooms in the building refused to let anyone in or out without having a nice conversation first. This did not work either, however, and Sirius began pacing the room, racking his brain for something he might have heard about such a room. He did not even know if this was on the Map, he had certainly never been here before. Looking around, he noticed that the room did not seem particularly special. There was a couch in front of a small fire place with a little spindly table beside it. The window in the back of the room was being pelted with the rain that had been bombarding the castle since late afternoon, and there was a portrait above the mantle of a frustrated looking wizard.

_Well I know that feeling_, Sirius thought as he looked at. Just then, he heard the soft creak of the wooden door and spun around to see Lily entering the room.

"Sirius?" she asked, taking a few steps towards him. "What are you doing -?"

"WAIT!" he yelled, cutting her off and lounging toward her. "Don't let the door -!" But it was too late. With a soft click, they were once again locked inside. Sirius groaned again and pulled on the handle, hoping that it would now magically (pardon the pun) work.

"What's going on?" Lily asked, watching him struggle.

Sirius pushed his long black bangs from his eyes and stepped back. "The door locks from the outside. Or something like that. Anyway, we're trapped."

"You're joking," Lily said, looking exasperated. She joined him at the door and tried her own spells, but once again, nothing worked.

"I'm not," Sirius answered and pointed to the writing carved in the door. "Any idea what that means?"

She examined it for a moment, biting her lip in concentration. "I'm no Latin expert, but that's the language. As for what it means, all I know is this word means 'room' and this word means 'revealed.' Other than that, I don't know."

"Fat lot of help that does us."

"Hey, I'm only trying to help. If you had not been out of bed after hours, we wouldn't be stuck in here in the first place!" Lily challenged, her face going red and her hands on her hips.

"Relax," Sirius told her. "We'll figure it out. In the meantime, how about we light a fire? It's freezing in here."

Lily nodded and pulled out her wand. She muttered something and a roaring fire burst to life in the grate. She went and sat down on the couch, not looking very thrilled with her current situation. Sirius joined her and stared into the fire, that was when he noticed that the painting on the wall had changed. Rather than a frustrated looking wizard, the frame held two children - a boy and a girl - who looked as if they were bickering.

"Have you even been in her before?" Sirius asked, tearing his eyes away from the portrait just as the little girl smacked the boy in the face.

"No," Lily answered. "You?"

Sirius shook his head. "And you would think I would have, since I've been practically everywhere else."

"Maybe it's like the Room of Requirement, you've heard about it, right? Anyway, maybe it only appears when you need it to, or when it wants to. Though I can't imagine what it would want with us."

"Well, let's think. What do we have in common?"

Lily looked as though she was about to laugh, but covered it with a cough. "Hmm, we're both in Gryffindor. We basically have the same friends. We've known each other for six years."

"Is there anything else though? Something other than that?" Sirius asked, searching his own mind for similarities.

"Well, neither of us get along with our siblings, we don't really have families - well you have the Potters now, I suppose -"

"Maybe that's it. Maybe we're supposed to talk about our family problems?" Sirius suggested lamely.

Lily shrugged. "Worth a shot, I guess."

"Er, all right, then," Sirius went on, rubbing the back of his neck as he tried to come up with something to say. "Feel like going first?"

Lily laughed lightly and tucked her legs beneath her on the couch. "Okay, but before we begin," she waved her wand and a steaming mug of hot cocoa appeared before each other them and Sirius took his gratefully, glad for something to chase away the chilliness in the cold stone walls. "Now where to start?"

"Well, I'm no psycho-putist or whatever it is the Muggles call them, but I guess you could start with whenever you began having problems?" Sirius told her, sipping at his drink.

"Psychiatrist?" Lily corrected him with another laugh. "Anyway, I suppose I first started having trouble when I met Sev, er, I mean Severus. We were little, and playing at the park and he told me I was a witch. I didn't believe him, of course, I mean, how could I? But then he started explaining things and it all made sense."

Sirius could tell that she had tensed up at the mention of that git of a friend she used to have, and he almost felt sorry for her, though it was her own dreadful lapse in judgment that had put her in that position in the first place. Then again, who else would she have talked to? It wasn't like he and James were particularly kind to her the first time they met.

"So anyway, at first Tuney thought that I was just stupid for even listening to him, but then… then I got my letter, and everything changed. Despite all her talk, she wanted to be one of us. She even wrote to Dumbledore to see if there had been some mistake, but he replied that she simply did not have magical abilities. Severus and I found the letter, and she was furious. That was I think when she really began to hate me." Lily took a hasty sip of her drink and choked on the scalding liquid, though Sirius knew she did it only to justify the tears threatening to spill from her green eyes.

And that was just sort of who she was, he supposed. She thought she always had to be so strong, and she was willing to do just about anything to keep up that hard exterior.

"Excuse me," Lily coughed, her voice breaking. She cleared her throat roughly and continued. "So then I came to Hogwarts. She refused to write to me, or respond to the letters I wrote to her. Mum said that was when Tuney really went boy crazy. She had a different boyfriend every week, and Mum was beginning to worry. She asked me to try and talk some sense into her, but when I came home on holiday Tuney either kept herself locked in her room or snuck out with some boy. That was one of the main reasons that Sev and I stayed close for as long as we did. We were both sort of alone in the world, except for each other.

"Things only ever went downhill from there. She began to threaten me, and often over the summer she would beat me up and pretend the bully that lived down the street had done it. I stilled loved her, so I never told my parents the truth, and she just continued to harass me. Eventually, I was old enough and strong enough to fight back, but I could never bring myself to hate her or hurt her. I grew up with her, you know? She was my big sister, my hero. And it's awfully hard to destroy your heroes."

She brought her mug to her lips again in another attempt to validate her tears, but Sirius reached out and took it from her instead.

"It's okay, you know," he began, feeling slightly awkward. "To cry, I mean. It wouldn't make me think anything less of you."

Lily's laugh was weak this time, but at least it brought out a smile. "Sometimes I wonder if you and James actually are brothers. That's exactly the sort of thing he would have said."

Sirius grinned at this statement. "You have no idea what it means to me to hear that. I was always terrified that despite all my efforts to stop it, I would still end up like my Pureblood-crazed family.

"What about you then?" Lily prompted him, turning on the couch to face him more directly. "What happened?"

Sirius took a deep breath and stared at the dark rain pattering against the window before he answered. "I was born into a family of Purebloods who had always taken blood status very seriously. My parents weren't Death Eaters, they were a bit old for that, but they supported Voldemort whole-heartedly, or at least as whole-heartedly as a heartless person can. They fully expected me and my brother, Regulus, to become Death Eaters once we were of age. Of course, I clearly proved to be a disappointment."

"Did you always disagree with their beliefs, or was there something that made you change your mind?" Lily asked, leaning forward slightly in her interest.

"When I was really little, I just took their word as law, but as I began to grow up, I started asking why. You know, things like why were Purebloods better, and why should I want to kill anyone who was of other birth. They never really had an adequate answer, so I began to look at it from the other side. The moment that truly made me realize that I wanted nothing to do with it, though, was when my best friend Kellan - he was a Muggle, technically I wasn't even allowed to talk to him - and I were playing one day and we decided it would be cool to become blood brothers, you know how little boys are. So we found a rock and cut our fingers, and our blood was exactly the same color, the same consistency, there was no difference between his and mine, and that was when I knew that judging anyone based on the so-called purity of blood is wrong and unjust. That happened when I was nine. His whole family was killed by Death Eaters a year later."

"Oh, Sirius!" Lily gasped, a hand flying to her mouth. "I'm so sorry!"

"It's all right," he told her, giving her a grin. "Anyway, after that I never really could agree with my parents on anything. They were furious with me when I told them that I did not believe in what they did. They called me a blood traitor and all sorts of horrible things, but they thought that I would come to Hogwarts and get into Slytherin and then the people in my house would convert me back. They had no idea that I would be in Gryffindor. Boy, did I get a hiding that Christmas."

"What did the Sorting Hat say to you?" Lily asked. "If you don't mine telling me, that is."

Sirius shook his head. "Of course not. It told me that maybe I would finally break the mold. I have to admit, it was shocked when I told it not to put me in Slytherin. It said that it was treason to my family line, and that it could not have been happier about my decision. And then it told me something I'll never forget. It said, 'never go against your own heart and mind, even if you have to fight the world to do so.' Then it told me I was a Gryffindor and wished me the very best of luck."

"I find it rather fascinating that the Hat occasionally gives advice - in its song and in what it tells only you. I actually asked it to put me in Slytherin, it was what Severus wanted and I didn't know any better. But it flat-out reused and told me that Slytherin was definitely not the house for me, and now I'm glad it did."

Sirius shook his head in mock disbelief. "How naïve our little Lily-flower was," he teased. "Good thing the Hat was looking out for you, since no one else was."

"I suppose," Lily agreed, though she seemed to shut down slightly at the comment.. "Keep going, though, it's still your turn."

"Well, when Regulus started school three years ago, he was put in Slytherin before I could even blink. I had always hoped that maybe he would come to his senses, but he was weak. He never wanted to form his own beliefs, so he went along with those who he felt had the greatest power. Anyway, if he wasn't already the favorite son, he became it then. I guess I don't really mind that much anymore, but back then when I had no where else to go, it was hell to go home."

Lily nodded sadly. "I can't imagine what it must have been like. Having Tuney hate me was bad enough, but my parents too? You're one strong guy, Sirius."

"Come on, Lily-flower. You're one of the strongest people I've ever met. You go through so much, yet you pretend you're all right for the sake of others. If that isn't strength, I don't know what is."

Lily's cheeks turned pink and she gave him a small smile. "Thanks, Sirius. You know, maybe everyone is stronger than they think they are, most people just haven't had a chance to prove it."

"I would really like to think that was true, but people surprise you, and not always in a good way," he told her sadly, thinking of Regulus, and Snape, and everyone else who had fallen prey to the great weakness that is power.

As if she had read his mind, she shook her head and replied, "Believe it or not, Sev - Severus - is one of the strongest people I know. He's just made some mistakes. I hope, with all my heart, that he realizes that what he has done is evil, because once he sees that evil, I know he is strong enough to come back to the good side."

Sirius knew he was staring at her in disbelief, but he could not erase the look from his face. "You are one of those people that surprises me, Lils. You more than most have seen the evils of this world, and yet you continue to have this huge faith in people. How on earth do you manage that?"

Lily smiled and pushed her long red hair out of her face. "Well, Sirius, we all have good and evil within us, the thing that matters, though, is which side we choose to act on. You're living proof of that, you know. You're probably the basis of my faith in people. You showed that anyone can rise above their circumstances and be a good person."

Sirius gave a harsh, bark-like laugh. "I'm no role model. I'm messed up, Lils."

Lily grinned at him. "Aren't we all? I mean, honestly, can you name anyone who doesn't have anything wrong with them? You're not alone."

"Thanks, Lily-flower. More hot chocolate?"

"Yes, please," she answered, holding up her mug. He refilled them and the two sat in amiable silence, listening contently to raindrops on the window and crackling fire in grate.

Lily was right, Sirius decided. Everyone did have both dark and light inside them, but what made the ultimate difference, he supposed, between Gryffindor and Slytherin was the choice. He had chosen not to be in Slytherin, and so the Hat had not put him there. It weighed his choice as more important and powerful than his character traits that would have determined otherwise. And Lily had chosen to be in Slytherin, not because it was a good house, but for a friend, and that choice, however odd it may seem, was the reason she ended up in Gryffindor. Sirius imagined that if she had just let the Hat decide on it's own, she would have been put into Ravenclaw, but because she had the loyalty and courage to follow a friend to whatever end, the Hat knew she was fit for Gryffindor.

There was a faint click from somewhere behind them and the two Gryffindors turned to see the door crack open.

"We figured it out!" Lily said happily, giving Sirius a high-five. The two of them stood up and hurried to the door before it could close again. He was following Lily outside when he glances back at the portrait that hung on the wall to see the two bickering children from before standing with their arms around each other waving happily.

"I never got a chance to ask you," Lily said as they walked up the marble staircase and began the journey up to Gryffindor Tower. "But what were you doing in there in the first place?"

Sirius, deciding it was better not to unveil his scheme just yet, settled for winking at her in that charming way he had. That way that never seemed to work on Lily or her friends. "All in good time, Lily-flower."

"Nothing too dangerous," she warned him, and Sirius grinned.

"Has Lily Evans grown found of the Marauders? Does she now want us to be safe?"

Lily hit him in the shoulder. "Shut up, Black."

"Whatever you say, Evans," he told her with another wink.

Lily opened her mouth to reply when a noise around the corner made her stop. "What was that?" she whispered.

Sirius shrugged and led the way quietly to the edge of the stone wall that divided he and Lily from the sound. He held a finger to his lips and peeked around the corner. What he saw made his stomach turn and his jaw drop.

There was his cousin, Bellatrix Black, a fifth year Slytherin standing amid a group of Slytherin boys, seemingly holding some sort of meeting. Though why she was doing it in a corridor at two in the morning, he could not fathom. She had always been a bit cracked.

"Can you hear what they're saying?" Lily breathed, poking her head out around him.

Sirius shook his head, wishing he were alone. He could become Padfoot and have much better hearing. "Lily, do you trust me?"

"Er, yes?" she answered, looking thoroughly confused.

"Listen to me, I need you close your eyes."

"Why?"

"Please, Lils, just trust me. I only need you do it for a moment."

She stared at him long and hard before nodding and shutting her eyes. Sirius knew how much trust she had put in him at this moment, and was amazed at the huge change in the Marauders' relationship with her in the past few months. But there was no time to waste. Sirius closed his own eyes briefly and focused all

of his energy on the shaggy black dog he had grown so used to.

When his brown eyes opened again, they saw things from a much lower vantage point. He glanced up at Lily, who still had her green eyes shut tight, and then he focused his attention back onto his cousin.

"Yes, you fool!" she hissed angrily pushing her curly black hair from her dark eyes. "The girl is at Malfoy Manor, but sweet little Constance is going soft! If she lets the prisoners go, the Dark Lord will have our heads!"

"Then get rid of Constance," suggested one of the taller boys. Sirius recognized the choppy blond hair and the cold grey eyes of Rodolphus Lestrange, a Slytherin seventh year.

Bellatrix slapped him across the face, her long red fingernails drawing blood. "How stupid are you? We cannot get rid of Constance, to do so would pit us against Lucius, something I will not stand for. You know how few Purebloods are left, and my sister is set to marry him. I will not soil her future child's blood by turning Lucius against Narcissa."

"Then we move the girl," said Avery, and Sirius felt intense disgust boiling inside him.

To his surprise and dismay, however, the person who spoke next had the most familiar voice of all.

"We can't move her," Regulus argued. "The old Auror is in no fit state to be transported and the Dark Lord wants him alive. Not to mention that the bloke that caught her would cause a fiasco. He's so bloody obsessed with her there's really nothing we can do."

"Why don't we simply prevent Constance from doing anything she would… regret," Snape's drawling voice was hardly more than a whisper. "We do not let her leave the school except for holiday, and we send someone with her when she goes home. A sort of babysitter, shall we say."

Sirius knew Lily must be growing antsy, so with an aggravated sigh, he resumed his human form.

"Lils?" he whispered. "You can open your eyes now."

She did so and gave him a piercing look - very much like Professor McGonagall - that clearly asked what that was all about.

"I'll tell you back in the common room," he breathed, and led her back a few paces to a tapestry hanging on the wall. "We'll have to go the long way so they don't see us."

He pulled it back and let her in first and followed quietly up the steep flight of stairs. After they knew they were out of earshot, Lily spoke again.

"Did you hear what they were saying?" she still whispered, as though afraid her voice would carry.

Sirius nodded, taking no chances. "It was about your friend. Her name is Stella, right?"

"Yes," Lily answered in a broken voice, looking away hastily and wiping her emerald eyes. "What do they want with her, Sirius? What could they possibly want with her?"

She had finally dropped her guard. She looked so defenseless and sad that Sirius felt a sorrow rising up inside of him as well. "I don't know, Lily-flower. I wish I did."

"What did they say about her?"

"They said that Constance Malfoy is going soft. That they're afraid that she will try and help Stella."

A confused expression crossed Lily's features. "Going soft? But Madam Pomfrey said -"

"Madam Pomfrey? What are you talking about?" Sirius asked, cutting her off.

Lily glanced around quickly, though they were obviously alone, and briefly told him of what had happened the night that he had gone to find Polyjuice Potion.

"So you think she remembers?" he inquired once her tale was complete.

Lily bit her lip. "I don't know. The only way she could would be if she hadn't taken the tonic, but why would she choose not to?"

And there it was again - choice. It seemed to be popping up everywhere these days, and Sirius was beginning to really just how important every choice was.

"Maybe she's better person than we give her credit for." Sirius almost felt he was going against his nature by saying this, but after talking to Lily, he had learned that maybe people deserve the benefit of the doubt. "Maybe she's like me and wants to break away from her family.

Lily smiled at the thought. "I hope so. Wouldn't that be fantastic?"

Sirius nodded as they reached the top of the stairs and came out near the portrait of the Fat Lady. "Nitwit," he told her, and - grumbling - she swung forward to admit them.

"So anyway, they were talking about moving her, but they said that that wouldn't work, so now they're giving Constance a guard to make sure she doesn't try anything," Sirius finished.

Lily groaned in frustration. "Poor Constance. Surely there's something we could do!"

"Well, we could save Stella ourselves," Sirius suggested quietly.

Lily stared at him in disbelief. "Really? You mean it?"

"Course I do," he answered. "Between you, me, James, Remus, Peter, Ness, and Alice, we should be able to no problem."

"We'll have to start working really hard on our defense," Lily told him, practically glowing at the thought of finally being able to do something. "Maybe we can all practice when the younger kids come in here to learn, then it might not seem so strange."

"And we can find empty classrooms and stuff where we can practice after lessons." Sirius felt like a kid at Christmas, and he could tell Lily did as well. Deep down, under her smart, reserved exterior, she was not so different from he and the boys. All they really wanted to do was make a difference in whatever way they could, and the opportunity had finally arisen.

"This is brilliant, Sirius! Thank you so much. I know you never even met her or anything."

"Come on, Lils, you're like my sister. Any friend of yours is a friend of mine."

She was practically beaming at him. "Thanks, Sirius. It really means a lot to me."

He grinned back and ruffled her red hair. "Come on, we'd better get to bed."

"All right," she nodded in agreement. "'Night."

"See you tomorrow."

And with that, they made their separate ways up to the dormitories and drifted off to sleep, rescue plans forming in their minds.

* * *

**Hope you liked it! I just want to clarify that the scene between Sirius and Lily is not romantic in any way.**

**I'm not totally thrilled with this chapter, but let me know what you think!**

**OH! And there is now a link to the character pictures on my profile! Please go check it out and give me feedback. Lily and James were the hardest and I am still not satisfied with them. Or Lucius really, so they are subject to change. And Snape isn't on there simply because I could not find anyone good enough. PLEASE tell me what you think!**

**ALSO: I want you all to go R&R this story: **_**My Sacrifice**_**, by **_**MyTinyDancer**_**. It is wonderful and she does not have any reviews right now except mine. It deserves a lot more than that so please go check it out!**

**But before you do, PLEASE REVIEW my story! I totally appreciate each and every review I get. Things I always like to hear are your thought on chapter titles, characters, and relationships, so let me know!**

**And sorry I threw so many knew characters at you in this chapter, especially all of the younger students. They won't be major - I don't think. But I might do a companion story for them. I have pictures and little bios of them if you're interested.**

**Thanks everyone! Love you all to bits!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_Friendship isn't about whom you have known the longest... It's about who came, and never left your side._


	31. Enough

**Yes, guys, I KNOW Tonks should be younger than I made her, but I figure I'm the author of this fic and I haven't really altered anything else, so I suppose I should be able to do this one thing. It's not the end of the world if she isn't extremely younger than him, their relationship will not be significant to the plot, I just wanted to introduce her.**

**THANK YOU: **_**thedevilandgod, RaindropsOnTheRooftop, mimimi213, MaxRideRox, SnarkySidekick, Sarahrules336, xrainbowsx, -the smell of autumn-, ivyflightislistening, lana-bear, tomcat1985, hpdreamer500, mattibff, raneonthewyndoepain, pinkpearl89, Super Cara, Hannable, SecretlyAGryffindor, **_**and **_**MyTinyDancer **_**for reviewing! You guys are wonderful!**

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**And I'm almost positive I have done this before, but I would like to dedicate this chapter to **_**pinkpearl89**_**. She had been one of my best friends on this site for a while now and I swear we're always on the same brainwaves. It's almost creepy at times. XD Anyway, she is fantastic and I want you all to go read her story **_**Unforgettable**_**, its one of my all time favorites ever. I love you, Friedel!**

_Maybe human beings __are__ programmed - to help one another, and even to fall in love. But just because it's human nature doesn't make it bad._

**Chapter Thirty-One: Enough**

The full moon shone bright through the high castle windows as James, Sirius, and Peter stole through the empty corridors. Once they reached the oak front doors, they quickly transformed and ran across the grounds against the cool wind that was blowing through the tall grass. The Whomping Willow loomed ahead, ready to attack anyone who came to near, but Peter - being a rat - was able to sneak below the branches' reach and hit the knot in the tree that immobilized it.

James and Sirius joined him and James allowed the tiny creature to crawl up his leg and come to rest between his antlers as he and Sirius took off full speed through the murky tunnel that led to the Shrieking Shack. After what felt like hours, they arrived and heard the horrible scratching and howling of the werewolf trapped within. Taking deep breaths, the boys opened the trap door and joined their best friend in the demolished lower room of the house.

The furniture was shredded and laying about the floor, the wallpaper had been slashed beyond recognition in most places, and there where gaping holes in the inner walls and ceiling. There was one place though, that remained untouched. A place where the boys had carved their names last year when they first came to join Remus_. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs_, it read. James felt the awkward twist of a grin on his stag's face as he looked at the names, but before he had much time to think, the werewolf lunged at him and pinned him to the floor.

Sirius quickly tackled him away and the two of them wrestled playfully for a few moments. That was when Remus began to reappear ever so slightly. There was a certain awareness in the blood red eyes that had not been there seconds before, and he did not seem to be aiming to kill.

Once he had calmed down a bit, James and Sirius exchanged a look and led the way out of the Shack. They herded Remus into the forest and together, the four of them ran. James thought this was good for Remus. As long as he could run, he did not focus so much on tearing himself to shreds. They ran through the trees with the glow of the moon lighting their way.

It was so ironic, James thought, as he often did on nights such as this. The moon had always seemed to be something so pure and innocent, it was the light in dark times, yet really, it brought out the beasts within all of them. Maybe that was a fact of life though. Maybe the things that appeared good on the outside were really evil when you took a closer look, and maybe, just maybe, it could be the same for people one thought were evil. It was unlikely of course, though Sirius had always sort of been proof of the light within the dark. But his train of though was becoming far to philosophical for James, so he shook his head to clear it - nearly throwing Peter off - before sprinting up ahead to make sure the coast was clear.

Seeing nothing, the Marauders stealthily made their way out of the trees and onto the grounds, keeping a close eye on Remus. They ran the perimeter of the castle just for fun, before examining the walls for passages they might have missed. Remus, however, continually got distracted and they would have to fight him to keep him in line. They would have scars and bruises the next day, sure, but this was so much better than allowing Remus to be cooped up in the hospital wing for a week because he had broken every single one of his ribs. They had figured out that the more of them there were, the less pain each of them felt.

James loved these nights. He never felt more alive than when on an adventure with his best friends. They had turned nights of tragedy and pain into the greatest moments in their lives. Finding nothing around the castle, they headed back through the forest - as always, taking a different route than they ever had before.

The Shack came into view when James spotted something to his right. Beneath what looked to be years of plant growth and ivy, there stood an ancient, crumbling well. He motioned for the others to follow and Sirius carefully pawed away the greenery. James, being the tallest, was able to read the inscription that ran along the little roof of the well.

_Make a wish in my waters deep,_

_Think long and hard of what you need,_

_For but once you may ask anything,_

_And I shall plant the seed._

_But be careful what you wish for,_

_As everybody knows,_

_Nothing comes without a price,_

_Sharp thorns are a part of every rose._

_So close your eyes and toss your coin,_

_And wish with all your might,_

_For I can give you sword and shield,_

_But it is up to you to fight._

The muscles where James' eyebrows should have been rose in interest. It was a wishing well. Of course, this was the Wizarding world, it wasn't like such things were nonexistent, but nonetheless, they were exceptionally rare. Before he had much time to contemplate this discovery, however, Remus let out a long low howl and ran off, closely followed by Sirius. James took off, dashing through the woods in a way that only deer can do and soon was able to circle around and cut the werewolf off.

When he was once more under control, the boys took off towards the outskirts of Hogsmeade and allowed the werewolf to rummage through the garbage behind the Three Broomsticks, again affectively waving his concentration. These nights were not always about planning full scale pranks and developing the Marauder's Map. A lot of the time they were simply there to provide physical and moral support for a friend, and sometimes just being out under the full moon running wild and completely free was enough.

- - - - - - -

"How stupid do you think I am?" Constance hissed at Bellatrix Black, her third cousin on her father's side. Constance angrily brushed a strand of long blonde hair back into its messy bun and returned her hands to her hips. The two girls were in the 6th Year Girls' Dormitory in the Slytherin Dungeon; Bella lounged lazily across Constance's bed, while the older girl stood a little ways away.

"Calm down, will you?" Bellatrix snapped, filing her long red fingernails to points. "It's not like this is the end of the world. We merely need to keep an eye on you to be absolutely certain of your loyalty.

"Bella!" Constance cried exasperatedly. "You know where my loyalties lie already!"

Bellatrix pursed her lips before continuing. "I know where they _need_ to lie, but I'm simply afraid that you do not know where they truly do."

"Bella, look," Constance said, shutting her eyes and putting her head in her hand for a moment. "If you honestly think I need a guard to follow me around my own house, be my guest. But I swear to you that you'll find nothing."

"Good," Bellatrix replied almost lazily. "Severus has already agreed to it, so tell the elves to set another place for dinner over the holidays."

With that, she stood and sauntered from the room.

Feeling betrayed and confused, Constance flung herself onto the bed Bellatrix had just vacated and buried her face in the pillow. The silky green material was no good to cry into, so she stripped the pillow of its cover and sobbed into the fluffy white that lay beneath.

They did not trust her! The people who were closest to her thought she would turn against them. How had they even known about what James and Lily had done for her? And why did they think it would change her whole life? Admittedly, Constance could at the very least see the absurdity in thinking that someone of Muggle birth was _completely _inferior. Lily may not have the blood of a thousand wizards running through her veins, but Constance was beginning to realize that maybe the past was not the only important thing. Clearly what one does here and now on this earth - well, that has to count for something. And Lily and James had shown that even though they were a Mudblood and a blood traitor, they at least had the decency to respect others as equals and as humans, something that she could not claim to have done.

Then again, the Dark Lord did not value the way people treated each other, rather, he looked at history and blood. It was not unlike the knights of the old days. One became a knight if one had the ancestry of nobility, while those who were raised as orphans and servants had no hope to rise above. But why? Why did one's family tree determine everything about a person? There was that saying about the apple not falling far from the tree, well, Constance was beginning to believe that in Pureblood families, the apples never fell at all.

And perhaps that was all right. The Dark Lord was becoming one of the most powerful wizards in the world, and soon he probably would be the greatest. Surely his was the obvious side to join, right? She had never had doubts before. How was it that a simple gesture of kindness from two strangers could cause her to question so many of her beliefs? Of course, it might not be so much the fact that they saved her as it was that her own family refused to give her their trust. Her mother had always stressed to her the importance of trust. Her philosophy was that it was far greater a compliment to be trusted than it was to be loved. Love came from the weakness of the heart, she would say. While trust is something you earn.

She grasped the pillow as tight as she could and shrilly screamed into it, luckily the plush material muffled the sound and no one came running. They said that trust took years to build and seconds to shatter, but this time, those seconds did not even belong to her, nor had they happened yet. How could someone stop trusting you for a future event that is not guaranteed to occur?

And since when did she question things so much? She had been brought up to speak only when spoken to, to follow a precise and clean-cut code of etiquette. Her nanny had always told her that the only use for thinking was creating worry lines, something that would devastate a lady of such status. She had been taught from such a young age to simply believe what she was told and act upon that belief and nothing else, that to question anything was almost beyond her comprehension. _This is your family_, she told herself sternly. _They're only doing this to you because it will make you a stronger person_. She did not believe it, though. Her family was not a particularly strong group of individuals. Most of them cowered at the slightest intimidation, so surely they had no interest in helping Constance build up her own strength.

The whole situation was completely mind-boggling. Constance desperately wished she had someone she could talk to about such things, but the only people she ever went to were Bellatrix and her sister, Narcissa, who clearly were not on her side this time. Her roommates, Brenna, Mindy, and Vega, were no use either. They would suspect her of treachery if she told them of the incident, and she could not handle losing the trust of more people. Lily? No, of course not. That would be suicide. But who could she go to? Constance knew she was not the strongest person - something she got from the rest of her family - so she felt as though she needed someone, anyone to help her figure things out.

She pulled the bun out of her hair and let it fall into its natural waves. Yanking on a pair of sweatpants over her shorts, Constance rubbed her tired grey eyes and walked out into the common room. There were a few people milling about. A pair of seventh year boys were playing chess by the fire, while a group of fifth year girls sat on the black leather sofas writing their essays. Kate and Krista Bronwyn seemed to be having some sort of argument, while Bellatrix and Severus were whispering conspiratorially in the far corner. Making eye contact with no one, Constance headed straight for the exit and walked out the door. Once in the hallway, she shivered and wrapped her thin pale arms around her body, but refused to return for a coat. She walked aimlessly for a while, consumed in her own thoughts.

She felt distanced and separated from everyone, as though the familiar faces she passed were living lives that she could merely watch, like she was a frozen bystander in a world that continued to move. She had always had her family, even if they sometimes handled things the wrong way. She wished Lucius was with her, he usually knew what to say. He did not show it openly, but he cared about his little sister, he always watched out for her and took the best care of her that he could. Feeling a few tears welling up behind her eyes, Constance detoured into a nearby bathroom, ignoring the old battered _Out of Order _sign that hung on the door.

"Who's there?" came a nasally voice from the farthest stall.

Constance jumped slightly as a few tears ran down her cheeks. "Oh, uh… no one," she answered pathetically. She made her way over to one of the sinks and shakily grabbed the edges to steady herself.

Her reflection in the mirror was one that would have caused her mother to shriek and faint. Her platinum blonde hair was laying far from flat, her eyes bloodshot and puffy, and her once pale cheeks were blotchy and flushed.

"You look rather awful," Moaning Myrtle told her in a would-be kind voice, gliding up behind her.

"At least you can't see through me," Constance snapped back automatically, rubbing her temples.

Myrtle scoffed and started to sniffle.

"Oh, please don't," Constance told her wearily. "Look, I'm sorry."

"You're not! I'm dead and you're making fun of me!" Myrtle whined.

"Death isn't the worst of life!" Constance exclaimed, throwing her hands up in frustration and spinning around to face the pearly white ghost. "I know things aren't always great for you, but have you ever stopped to think that you're not the only one?"

"Easy for you to say!" Myrtle exploded. "I bet you've never thought of anyone but yourself either!"

This stopped Constance in her tracks.

_It was the day after they had returned to school from summer holiday and Constance was standing in the corridor with her fellow Slytherins. Across the hall stood Alice Hinton, Vanessa Reese, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. James and Lily were no where to be seen and rumors had begun to spring up about the two Gryffindors, especially since Lily had come back with the new look and the weight loss._

"_You know what I heard?" Constance's voice carried across the corridor. Brenna, Mindy, and Vega immediately snapped their attention to her. "I heard that Potter said he would start dating other girls again unless Lily lost weight. She loved the attention too much and gave in."_

_The other girls laughed, though Constance knew it was forced, just as she would have forced a giggle had they said something._

"_Okay," Reese growled, visibly shaking with anger. "That is it!"_

_Constance rarely saw Vanessa Reese pick fights, but it was obvious that when someone messed with her friends, she would confront them._

"_You know that's a lie!" Reese yelled, face merely inches from her own. "Lily would never change for anyone! Did it ever cross that thick mind of yours that Lily's sick in bed? And you know that James skips classes all the time. I would bet every knut in my Gringotts vault that he's out practicing some new Quidditch stunt. So since you clearly have no idea what you're talking about, I would advise you to keep that fat mouth shut!"_

"_What, Reese? Jealous that Lily's the one that everyone likes? Wanting some of James' attention for yourself?" Constance hissed back, imaging the approving smile that would have twisted across her mother's face if she could have seen her daughter._

"_I don't care what you say about me, Malfoy," threatened Reese, her voice dropping dangerously low. "But if you ever so much as mention Lily's name again I swear you won't even be able to look at me without wetting yourself." With that, she turned on her heel and stormed back across the hall to her friends._

_- - -_

_The same group of people stood outside the same classroom a few days later, though this time, Lily and James had joined them. Feeling the eyes of the other girls upon her, Constance knew they were waiting for her to say something. Heart not totally in it, she opened her mouth and shot at Lily with the first thing she could think of._

"_So, Evans, I hear you and Potter did it the other night," she tossed her long blonde hair over her shoulder in a snooty sort of way._

_Lily, though she looked rather sad and tired, cocked an eyebrow. "Jealous?" she taunted back._

"_You don't deny it?" Constance asked, trying to hide her surprise. She heard Mindy gasp quietly beside her and knew the three girls were watching avidly to see how Constance would handle the situation._

_Lily shrugged. "Why would I? It's not like it would make you stop talking. I'm just disappointed that it isn't very original. Sleeping together? Really? A monkey could _

_start that one."_

_Brenna scoffed in a disgusted sort of way and Constance felt the girl's caramel brown eyes boring into her. Trying wildly to come with a reply to save face, Constance opened her mouth just as the door to the classroom burst open and Professor Perry greeted them with his vivid white smile._

Constance knew she had never been exactly nice to the others, especially Lily and her friends, but it was a bit extreme to say that she had never thought of anyone but herself… wasn't it? Not to use her family as an excuse, but had they not taught her that she was number one in her life, that she needed to worry about herself above others?

Constance had always looked up to her mother, Trisha Malfoy. She was her role model in everything, but Constance had always known deep down that her mother was a bit selfish. Maybe that selfishness had rooted itself inside of her daughter as well. Of course, Trisha Malfoy was a good, respectable lady in the world that she lived in - the world she was grooming Constance to become a part of. Perhaps, to find similarities was a good thing.

_Stop worrying_, Constance told herself automatically as she felt her brow furrow in concentration. _It only causes wrinkles._

- - - - - - -

When Lily, Alice, and Vanessa woke up the next morning, they quickly showered and hurried to the hospital so they could visit Remus before class. They were surprised to find not only the werewolf being treated by Madam Pomfrey, but Sirius nursing what appeared to be a broken arm, James having a large gash in his back repaired, and Peter with bandages wrapped around his head.

"What is going on here?" Lily demanded, marching straight up to James as Alice began talking to Sirius and Peter while Vanessa made her way over to a sleeping Remus.

"Whomping Willow," James told her, giving a rather tense smile as Madam Pomfrey ran her wand across his back. "We went out this morning to find Moony and got too close."

Lily was taken aback by the plausibility of this tale, she was sure they had been up to something extremely dangerous, possibly illegal. These were the Marauders, after all, that sort of thing was right up their alley. Instead of questioning them farther, she decided to change the subject.

"How is he?" she asked, nodding towards Remus.

James studied his friend for a moment, watching Vanessa take Remus' scarred hand in her own fragile, perfect one and stroke it gently. "He's been worse."

Lily felt her heart break slightly as she too saw the tender moment between her friends.

"At least," James continued softly. "At least now he isn't quite so alone."

Not entirely sure whether James was speaking of Vanessa, or something else, Lily settled for nodding a bit and turning to Madam Pomfrey.

"Is there anything we can do?"

"Not that I am aware of, Miss Evans," she answered promptly, bustling about in her usual manner. "These boys are well looked-after, so I would advise you three to head down to breakfast before your lessons begin.

Lily did not want to leave, nor, she knew, did Alice and Vanessa, but she gave a quick "yes, ma'am" and headed out the door, followed by her friends. They made their way down to the Great Hall in silence and took the seats next to Frank and his friends. Lily picked aimlessly at the toast in front of her, lost in thoughts about what Remus must have gone through the night before. A soft cough behind her made Lily jump.

"Oh, Dorcas, it's you," she said, spinning around on the bench to see the strawberry blonde hair and crimson glasses.

The third year nodded and fidgeted slightly with the hem of her skirt. "We were just wondering if we could practice a bit more tonight," she said softly, clearly trying to keep her voice steady.

Smiling at the thought and remembering the conversation she had had with Sirius a few nights before, Lily nodded. "Of course, how about at seven o'clock?"

"Yes, that would be wonderful!" Dorcas exclaimed, grinning in relief. "Thank you!"

Lily laughed lightly. "Anytime."

That word now reminded her of James. Who at this moment reminded her of Remus. Which brought Lily's mood back to somewhere between depressed and dreary.

Alice, reading her expression as Dorcas rejoined her own friends a ways down the table, took Lily's hand and gave it a small squeeze. "Rem can take care of himself, Lily, you know that."

"I do, but he doesn't deserve this. He's probably the best of us all."

"But who knows?" Alice went on, trying to keep the optimism in her voice. "Maybe he is who he is because of everything he's been through. Were it not for his… 'furry little problem,' he might be someone totally different from the Remus we know. Maybe this whole thing has made him stronger."

Lily pursed her lips. "Perhaps. But I still think it isn't fair."

"Whoever said life was supposed to be fair?" Vanessa challenged softly. "Some of the worst people are some of the best off, while the most honorable people are left by the wayside."

"I just wish there was something we could do," Lily groaned in frustration.

"Well," Vanessa began, leaning forward slightly to speak to the two girls without anyone overhearing. "I'm actually working on an appeal to go before the Ministry of Magic about making things equal for werewolves. I know it doesn't change what happens to him every month, but it could still make the time in between a little more bearable."

Lily felt a smile spread across her face and saw it mirrored on Alice's features. "Ness, that's fantastic! What have you got so far?"

"You know how I found that old charter?"

Lily and Alice nodded.

"I'm using a few of the old laws in there, things that were never legally changed, only forgotten as time wore on, to show that technically, they still have the right to have any job they wish, even an Auror if they so choose, because most of the time they are normal people. Provisions might need to be made, of course, as Dumbledore did for Remus, but doesn't that just go to show that it can be done?"

"And maybe," Alice suggested. "You could get teachers that know about Remus to give little testimonials, you know, saying that he is an excellent student and that he has such a wonderful personality."

"And how he would be an asset to any staff anywhere," Lily added. "Just show them that he is just as good as everyone else. That there is no reason to discriminate against him."

Vanessa smiled. "And I was thinking that we could all talk as well. You two, myself, and the boys. We could tell them what a wonderful friend he has been to us and show that we don't care what he is."

"Well, Ness, I absolutely think you can do it," Lily assured her. "Come on, we'd better get down to Potions."

Alice and Vanessa nodded and stood. Alice gave Frank a quick peck on the cheek and they hurried out the door. Once they reached the dungeons, they queued up outside across the hall from the Slytherins. For once, Lily noticed, Constance Malfoy was not surrounded by a little gang of girls, rather she stood a ways away from the group, looking as though she were trying to hide her sadness.

Lily was studying the blonde girl's expression when James and Sirius joined them, looking a bit stiff and sore.

"James, what are you doing here?" Lily asked softly, tearing her eyes away from Constance to see the pained look flash through James' eyes with every move he made. "You should be in the hospital."

James gave her a smile, though for once Lily could tell it was slightly forced. "I'm flattered by your concern, love, but I'm perfectly fine."

"You are not," Lily argued, feeling exasperated.

He laughed lightly and winced, though he once more tried to cover it up unsuccessfully. "Stop worrying," he whispered. "I'll be all right."

"Fine," Lily sighed, knowing that sometimes it was completely pointless to argue with him. "Where's Peter?"

James hesitated a moment. "Pete isn't quite as… tough as the rest of us. Madam Pomfrey said it will take him a bit longer to recover."

Lily could only nod. At that moment, Professor Slughorn opened the classroom door and cheerily ushered them inside, clearly unaware of the multiple tensions bubbling up between the students. Constance sat down near the back at a table by herself, and Lily watched as Severus glanced at Avery, who nodded subtly, and then reluctantly joined the blonde.

So Severus was going to be Constance's guard, Lily realized. That was something Sirius had failed to mention, though perhaps he had not heard that much of the conversation. She watched as he took out a ragged copy of _Advanced Potion Making _and set it on the desk. Constance did the same, though she moved her chair as far away from Severus as possible, causing Lily to wonder if Constance knew what was going on as well. She prodded James very gently and gestured toward the two of them. He cocked an eyebrow and motioned for Sirius to follow their line of sight. He brushed his long black bangs out his eyes and narrowed them in disgust, shaking his head disapprovingly.

Slughorn merrily and obliviously clapped his hands together in excitement at whatever he had planned for that day, but Lily found herself caught up in the bigger picture for once, in the little struggles of the day to day lives of other students rather than working furiously to create only the very best of whatever Slughorn asked for. It was odd, she decided, that war did not change people in the ways one would imagine. They were not huge, life-altering changes, but small differences throughout one's normal routine that make one realize how silly they were before to care about such insignificant details. Not to say that school was insignificant, but Lily was starting to see that perfect marks were not going to get her far if she did not have the will and the courage to back up what she had learned and take it with her to the battlefield.

- - - - - - -

The steady drip of water seeping through the stone walls of the basement was Stella's only indication of the changing weather. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes, relishing the reassurance that winter had not yet set in. Once it did, Stella knew the cellar would reach almost unbearable temperatures, for this house was more like a castle than something more modern and did not seem to have any sort of effective heating system in the lowest level.

Already, it was growing colder and Stella shivered, hugging her arms. She had been kidnapped over the summer, and therefore was wearing only a thin t-shirt and shorts - not ideal for her current situation.

Suddenly, she heard the heavy click of the metal lock and a creak as the wooden door swung open. Shielding her eyes against the light that flooded her prison, Stella saw to her dismay that Lucius was not the one to bring her food today. _He_ had returned.

"Get up," he ordered, grabbing her arm and yanking her to her feet. Without a glance at Moody, her captor pulled her from the cellar.

"What are you doing?" Stella demanded, praying that her voice stay steady.

A wicked smirk flashed across his face momentarily before he replied. "It's getting a bit cold down there, don't you think? I'm bringing you to a place to… _warm up_."

Knowing what he wanted, Stella was horrified. She struggled desperately against his grip, but he was much stronger than she after her recent malnourishment. He dragged her up a flight of stairs and they came out in the huge entrance hall of the manor. There was a sweeping marble staircase on one side, and multiple closed doors and parlors all around. He forced her towards the stairs and began to climb. They did not stop on the first floor, or the second, but the third, by which time Stella felt she might faint from exhaustion. He pushed her roughly into one of the rooms.

The was a huge king size bed with green and silver hangings in the middle of the room, and there was a large fireplace and a few armchairs on the left. A green fire burned merrily, casting eerie shadows on the hardwood floor. A large closet and a larger bathroom were to the right.

"I had some real food sent up for you," her captor said, nodding towards a table next to one of the armchairs. "Eat up, sweetheart, and get some rest. I like my women with some energy. Take a bath while you're at it, would you?"

With that, he shut the door and locked it tight.

Before she allowed herself to process what he had said, Stella dashed to the window and yanked back the drapes, hoping for some form of escape, but it was useless. She was on the third floor and nothing but a sheer drop came between her room and the ground below. She then checked the closet, searching for some other route out, but only realized she was trapped.

A tear ran down her dirt-smeared face as the full weight of her fate finally sink in. He was serious. He was going to make her do awful things for his enjoyment. He had won.

Dragging her feet, Stella made her way to the bathroom and turned on the water in the tub, savoring the warm steam that filled the room with its sweet scent. She stripped down and climbed in, a quiet moan of pleasure escaping her lips in spite of herself. She soaked in the warm water for a long time, scrubbing every inch of her skin with the lavender soap. She washed her hair and face and reluctantly stepped out once the water began to cool. Stella wrapped a fluffy white towel around herself and walked to where her clothes should have been, but found instead only a lacey green, see-through nightdress that would come only very high on her thigh. There was a matching bra and thong and Stella let out a small cry of despair. He was really doing this to her, and he was going all out.

Once she was dry, she had no reason to continue to use the towel, so she gloomily pulled on the wretched little outfit and padded her bare feet back out to the main room. The fire was still blazing warm as ever, and Stella made her way over to one of the large leather chairs. Sitting down, she noticed a tray laden with warm bread and steaming tomato soup. She poured herself a bowl, thinking that she was going to need her strength to deal with what was to come.

Stella felt extremely exposed in the tiny little dress, but knew she would be far more so when her captor returned. She decided that she was not going to cry. Not now, and not when he came back to do what he wanted with her. Sadness was surrender, and though she had accepted this fate, she refused to surrender her mind or her emotions to someone who deserved neither. She would take it, whatever it was going to be, but she would not give him the satisfaction of hurting her any way other than physically.

- - - - - - -

During the lunch period, Vanessa hurried back up to the hospital wing, hoping that Remus might be awake. She was disappointed, however, when she found him still sound asleep.

"He's usually out for about a day afterwards," Madam Pomfrey said softly, looking up from a second year to whom she was administering Pepperup Potion.

Vanessa only nodded and made her way quietly to where he lay. It was amazing, she thought, how people could look so much younger and so… _at peace _when they were asleep. It was as if all the troubles that plagued them while awake suddenly vanished. She gently took his rough, scarred hand once more in her own and treasured the fact that it was completely relaxed for once, so often it was tense and stiff.

His face had lost the anxious, sickly expression it so frequently wore, making him look a bit healthier through the multiple cuts and scratches. Vanessa could not help but smile slightly. To see him finally at peace like that was such a blessing, more so than she would have ever expected it to be.

"Sometimes," Madam Pomfrey began quietly, coming over and applying a thin clear potion to the marks on his face. "I think that you get to see just how much people care about each other in times like these. When they know the other person can do nothing for them, and probably will never know they even spent their time with them, and yet they stay anyway."

With that simple statement, she walked away, back into her office with the door shut behind her, leaving Vanessa alone in the large sweeping hospital ward with only a sleeping Remus for company. It was then that she realized that even though he was silent as the grave, his very presence was enough.

- - - - - - -

Lily was impressed at the speed with which the younger students were learning. She supposed it had something to do with the war and their determination to master Defense Against the Dark Arts, but it was still quite remarkable. Especially Dorcas, Caden, and Edgar. Krista was doing quite well also, and her courage to join this vast group of Gryffindors, Ravenclaws, and Hufflepuffs never ceased to amaze Lily. Slytherins were not exactly known for being exceptionally brave and outgoing, so Krista was causing Lily to wonder just how accurate the Sorting Hat really was. After all, It could not see into the future, it could not predict if and how students would change over the years.

After each of them could cast a decent, low-energy Shield Charm, Lily sent them all off to bed, hoping to get some rest herself. The past few weeks had been incredibly tiring for the young witch, and she still was not able to sleep without unbearable nightmares.

She made her way up to the dormitory, joined by Alice, Vanessa, Mary, and Waverly. After washing her face and slipping into shorts and a t-shirt, Lily climbed into bed, utterly exhausted, but still quite pleased with the progress the younger students were making.

She wrapped the blankets around her tightly and fell into a fitful sleep.

_She was locked inside a jail cell, a tall blonde girl lay broken and bleeding on the floor. Lily could not tell whether she was dead or alive.  
__- - -  
__Lily was walking through her house, but it was decaying and covered in dust. The hallways were silent and it was almost unrecognizable.  
__- - -  
__The full moon shown bright and ominous in the sky as a familiar boy went through a painful and wretched transformation. Lily looked down at her own hands to find them clawed and furry as well._

Lily sat bolt upright in bed, breathing hard. Only the night before had she convinced James that she no longer needed him there to be able to sleep, and though she knew she would now get no rest, she could not regret the decision.

Thinking a walk might do her some good, Lily slipped quietly out of bed and made her way down to the common room. She found it deserted, and sat down in an armchair next to the smoldering embers of the fire. With a flick of her wand, a cup of herbal tea appeared in her cold hands. She savored the warmth and drank it slowly, hoping it would calm her nerves. When she realized it was not going to help, Lily sighed in defeat and stood to head back upstairs when soft footsteps from behind stopped her.

- - - - - - -

James entered the common room to find his wand, which he had left there by mistake, and was surprised to find Lily standing by the fire. Her lovely red hair hung limp and her makeup was gone for once. She looked incredibly tired, and James immediately kicked himself for ever leaving her alone.

"You couldn't sleep," he stated simply, slowly walking toward her.

She flashed a rather convincing smile. "Oh no, I'm fine. I just had a few things I needed to finish."

James thought her acting would have assured her own mother, but James saw through the façade. He rolled her eyes and ran a hand through his slightly matted black hair. "Lily, don't give me that. You do everything days in advance. You didn't have anything to do. You couldn't sleep."

"Honestly, I'm fine," she told him, her brilliant green eyes pleading with him to believe her.

"What was it this time?" he asked, ignoring her silent wishes. "What were the nightmares about?"

"Nightmares? I don't know what you're talking about."

He stepped closer, only inches from her and leaned down to look into her eyes. "I know you know you can fool the world, but darling, you have to realize that I'm not a part of your world. _You are my world_. I know when you're lying better than I know when I am."

She searched his eyes for a moment, both of them simply listening to the steady breathing of the other. James could feel her warmth on his bare chest, she was so close. It was one of those times when he wanted nothing more than to sweep her off her feet and kiss her senseless, but once more, he refrained.

"Stella," Lily said quietly, eyes on the floor. "And my parents, and Remus."

The sadness in her voice was heartbreaking. She was not miserable for herself, not in the least. She hurt so much for other people that she inflicted wounds on herself as well. He wanted to comfort her. He so wished he could love her the way he wanted to. He would make her see that he cared so much it shattered his soul to see her like this, and he wanted to pull her into his arms and let her know that he would never let go. And most of all, he wanted that to be what _she _wanted. Briefly, James thought of the wishing well he and the boys had found. He could wish that she would see him like that. But the thought left almost as soon as it had come, for if James knew anything, he knew that love was not something that could be forced on a person, not true love anyway. Love loses its magic when it is controlled, and love without magic is not love at all.

And when he looked at Lily, well, were he not a wizard, she would make him believe in magic.

"It's no big deal," Lily added, shifting her feet a bit, as James knew she often did when she tried to hide her true thoughts.

James very gently placed a finger under her chin and lifted her face to look into her eyes. She appeared to be a strong as ever, but James knew that if you just looked deep enough, you could see the little girl beneath that wanted nothing more than to be taken care of.

Though rarely at a loss for words, James could think of nothing to say, so instead he wrapped her in his arms, praying to every god in the universe that she would not pull away.

And she didn't.

She rested her cheek against his chest and breathed evenly, trying to keep tears from falling, and James held her tight. He closed his eyes for a moment, wishing more than anything that this was what life was always like, rather than only when she needed him. But maybe that was what love was. Maybe love was taking what you could get, whether you wanted more or not. For James, having Lily in his arms was more of a paradise than he could ever hope to see, but to have her as _his_, well, that would be nothing short of Heaven itself.

- - - - - - -

_In…Out…In…Out_, Lily instructed herself, forcing her lungs to draw air in a steady fashion. She was wrapped up in James' arms, and he was shirtless! Lily hated to be shallow, but _Merlin_ he had nice abs, not to mention arms. They were so strong, and in them she felt so safe, as if for once in her life, the darkness in the world could not touch her.

It never ceased to amaze her how easily he could see through. Try as she might to lie to him, he always knew the truth. For the longest time, that fact had annoyed Lily beyond anything else, but recently, she had began to find it rather comforting, just to know someone knew how she truly felt.

Summoning all of her courage, Lily wrapped her arms around James' waist, but quickly jerked them away.

"What happened?" she demanded, spinning him around so she could take a good look at his back.

"I told, you, the Whomping Willow -"

He stopped when he saw the expression on Lily's face. She knew she must looked shocked and confused, but what did he expect? Crisscrossing down his back were layer after layer of long white scars, and some of the fainter ones extended around his sides and across his chest and stomach. There was no way the Whomping Willow did that.

"How long have you had these?" she asked, gently tracing one of the newer ones with her finger. Goosebumps rose on his back at her touch.

"Lily," James began, turning around so her could place his strong hands on her shoulders and look into her eyes. "I can tell when you're lying, but you can't tell with me, so I really, truly don't want to lie to you, but I can't tell you the truth either, at least not yet."

He looked so sincere, as if his story was begging to burst forth, and as if he honestly had to struggle to hold it back.

"Should I even ask whether whatever you're doing is legal?" she asked, trying to smile at him.

He looked relieved that she had at least attempted to make a joke. "Probably not," James told her, keeping eye contact. "Listen to me, love, I will tell you, I swear, it's just… it's not only my secret to tell, and I'm not sure the others want anyone else knowing just yet."

"It's okay, James," Lily said, meaning every word. "I know it probably doesn't seem like, but I really am beginning to trust you. And if it's something that Is right by you, then I can be okay with it, even if I don't know what it is."

James often looked as though he wanted to kiss her, but Lily had never seen the desire more strongly than she saw it now. It was amazing how well he managed to control himself. Instead of doing something she did not want him to do, he once more pulled her into a hug and squeezed her tightly, as if silently and physically thanking her for her understanding.

"You are the most wonderful, perfect, beautiful, lovely girl I have ever known," James told her, leaning back to grin down at her.

Lily felt a blush rise in her cheeks and silently cursed herself for allowing that to happen. She never let James make her blush anymore, she thought she had gotten used to his compliments.

What had changed?

- - - - - - -

James' heart was singing. More than singing really, it was belting out a joyous tune at full volume, flooding his entire body with a happy melody. He had always wanted Lily's love, but having her trust was the next best thing. And if she trusted him, maybe that meant she could eventually love him.

It was strange how all he needed in the world was a few words from a single girl to send him straight to cloud nine. And he found it quite remarkable how so little was really so much, and how Lily, well, for James at least, Lily was always enough.

- - - - - - -

"I have a new plan," Bellatrix hissed. She was sitting in a corner of the common room with Snape, Avery, Regulus, Brenna, and Vega. When they said nothing, Bellatrix continued. "That little group of blood traitors and scum - Lily Evans and her friends - they're doing too much to stop the Dark Lord. And if we keep letting them teach the younger students and work on this werewolf rights thing that Reese girl's been trying to start, they will only grow stronger. We have to crush them now."

"How?" Regulus whispered, glancing around the room to ensure their privacy.

"We have to cause them to fight amongst themselves. We need to split of Reese and Lupin first, and break some of their friendships. And we need to draw Potter away from Evans."

At this, Snape made a disgusted grunt. "As if that will ever happen."

"Well, that's the job that's up to you," Bellatrix instructed. "Brenna, you're going to work on Reese and Lupin. I want you to figure out a way to change your appearance and then flirt with him, make him fall for you, and make sure Reese sees it once it happens. Myself, Regulus, and Vega are going to work on the rest of them - try to hurt their friendships."

The others nodded and Bellatrix's blood red lips twisted into a wicked smile. _Let's see just how strong 'love' actually is._

- - - - - - -

When Stella woke the next morning, he was gone. She was sore and the sheets were stained with her blood, her clothes - or lack thereof - strewn about the room. He had done it. He had actually done it. And he had not been gentle in the least. It had been her first time, and it had hurt like hell. Without bothering to get dressed, Stella dragged herself to the bathroom and examined herself, feeling dirtier than she ever had in her life.

There were deep purple bruises blossoming across her breasts, and dark ones shaped like his hands spread around her waist and thighs where he had held her down. Her lips were swollen and cracked, they looked to be on the verge of bleeding, and hickey marks spotted her neck and chest.

Stella took a deep, shaking breath and tore her eyes away. She immediately began filling the tub, determined to rid herself of the residue he left behind. Scrubbing her skin raw almost felt good, and Stella remained in the hot water for an hour at least, but when she finally climbed out, she hardly felt cleaner than she did before.

This time, sitting next to the stack out towels was another skimpy little lingerie outfit, clearly saying that he was coming back. He was going to do it again. Stella was strong, but how much more could she take?

She pulled on the lacey little thing and went back to the fire, half a plan in mind. She sat down and folded her legs - as she had so often seen her mother do - and began breathing deeply in and out. She tried with all her strength to clear her mind, to focus on nothing. She was going to meditate.

_If you know, you can overcome, _her mother used to say. But what exactly was there to know? Thinking hard, Stella remembered something else her mother had told her as she and her little sister Emily had tried to learn to meditate - _Meditation is when the heart can give the head a lesson_.

Stella was unsure how this could help her now, but maybe her heart knew something her head did not. Maybe it had the sort of strength that only a heart can possess. The kind that one finds in fairytales and love stories, that guides the spirit and illuminates the darkness. Perhaps that was what it meant to meditate. Perhaps it meant that your heart and mind connect and share wisdom and strength with one another, making you more whole than you were before. Stella closed her eyes and hoped with all her might that the strength of love was inside her somewhere.

Because maybe, if she could find that love, she could also find forgiveness. It had been said that to forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. So if she could find it in her heart to forgive the man who did this to her, maybe that was the only way to free herself from the figurative shackled that bound her.

* * *

**PLEASE REVIEW!!**

**The plot is thickening! O_o Hope you liked it! **

**And again, the link to the character pictures is on my profile.**

**And I'm being to change Stella's story from my original plan. I had this whole big idea, but she sort of developed on her own and doesn't seem to like what I had planned, so if her parts seem a bit choppy or off, I'm sorry! I'm just trying to re-work it to make it how she wants it. XD**

**And what do you think of Constance's POV? I'm really interested to know your thoughts about her character!**

**OH!! And if you have a better title for this chapter, PLEASE LET ME KNOW! I couldn't really think of anything that fit the chapter as a whole, so please, if you come up with something, tell me! Thanks!**

**And if I don't update again before Christmas, have a great one!!**

**Love you all to bits!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_We don't need to listen to none of this nonsense about old family lines. It's what you do here and now on this earth that counts._


	32. Draw the Line

**Hello and welcome to chapter 32!! First off, I would just like to say that this is the last chapter before the rescue of Stella begins in chapter 33.**

**THANK YOU TO: **_**Super Cara, MyTinyDancer, SecretlyAGryffindor, mimimi213, thedevilandgod, -the smell of autumn-, ivyflightislistening, Joelle8, RaindropsOnTheRooftop, lana-bear, xrainbowsx, SnarkySidekick, hpdreamer500, ashesintheocean, pinkpearl89,**_** _gottalovetwilight, JustaFan, Hannable, Sarahrules336, _and_ Kmonae _****for all of the lovely reviews! I would like to dedicate this chapter to all of you guys! Best reviewers and author could ask for. (:**

**Disclaimer: Everything belongs to JKR, and the essay section of this chapter was based off of **_**oony**_**'s fic **_**Perspective**_**, so what they write comes from that.**

**WARNING: Later on, in the essay section (you'll know what I mean when you get there) during Sirius' essay, there is a bit of language, so if that bothers you, watch out.**

**AND! HUGE, MEGA, CRAZY Thank You's to Freidel! (**_**pinkpearl89**_**) for being wonderful and helping me fix all the problems I originally had in this chapter. She also came up with the name, so THANK YOU, FREIDEL! YOU'RE THE BEST! This one is for you, of course. (:**

_If a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it._

**Chapter Thirty-Two: Draw the Line**

Lily woke to hazel eyes and a warm hand in hers. There he was, sitting on that same wooden chair, rubbing gentle circles on her palm. Lily had not had nightmares after he had returned to the dormitory with her, but she could not have hated herself more. The dark crescents under his eyes were back, but he looked as though he was trying to hide his exhaustion.

"You can't keep doing this," she told him, though her words lost their effect when her voice came out groggy.

James smiled down at her, wiping the bit of drool from the corner of her mouth. He never ceased to amaze her with his little caring gestures. "You're not going to be able to stop me."

Lily rolled her eyes and climbed out of bed. It was early, she noticed, the first rays of purple light had not yet managed to peek over the Forbidden Forest. The other girls were sound asleep and would most likely remain so for at least another hour before jumping out of bed in a panic and streaking through their various morning routines as if there was no tomorrow.

James seemed to follow her train of thought. "We've got some time yet, why don't we go for a walk?"

"Er, all right," Lily answered, finding to her dismay that she was actually curious as to what he was up to. She grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a jacket and pulled them on over her shorts and t-shirt before following him out the door.

The common room was empty, but endearingly messy. Half-written essays were strewn across the tables, accompanied by Star charts, dream diaries, and a vast number of silly little drawings and notes that had been passed during classes. Bags littered the floor and school books and ones from the library lay haphazardly around the room. Lily could not help but smile at the sight. This was her home, and she would not have wanted it any other way.

"What?" James asked, grinning at the sight of her smile.

Lily shrugged, laughing lighting. "Just thinking of how much I love this place."

"You can be a bit strange sometimes, you know that?" James chuckled.

The came to the portrait hole and climbed out, ignoring the Fat Lady's protests at being woken up.

"Surely you've noticed before now," Lily teased.

"'Course I have. I just wanted to make sure you were aware."

Lily laughed and it echoed off the stone walls of the castle. "Where are we going, anyway?"

"It's a surprise," he told her, grinning mischievously and taking her hand. He sped up and led the way down corridor after corridor.

In spite of herself, Lily could not contain a small smile at the feeling of security she got from having her hand in his. It was so large and strong, it made her feel safe. It was ridiculous, she knew, after all, he was not some mighty invincible warrior that could protect her from the world, but at the same time, it was enough to know that would try knowing he might fail.

_How was it that life had become so serious all of a sudden? _Lily was beginning to wonder. The boys weren't really pranking anymore, she and James never argued, and the girls hardly ever just had a fun night. Now, they spent the majority of their time practicing defense and trying to rest, having to comfort each other rather than tease one another.

"What are you thinking about now?" James asked, pulling her through the oak front doors and out onto the dewy, starlit grounds. It was beautiful outside, the lake reflected the pale pink sky and the sprinkling of visible stars, while the wind that blew through the grass and the trees seemed to carry its own kind of magic.

"Just that I sort of miss the way things used to be," Lily explained. "You know, back when we were all more carefree. Things have gotten so dark lately."

A saddened look crossed his face briefly. "I suppose that's what war does, love."

"You see?" Lily asked, moving to stand in front of him so they were face to face. "Not a year ago you would have said something like 'you mean you want me to tease you, because I'd be happy to,' or something like that. Now you just… I don't know."

"You know what?" James began after studying her face for a moment. "You're right. Everyone's boring all of a sudden. Let's lighten the mood a bit, shall we?"

Lily grinned. "Don't you mean that you and the boys will lighten the mood and I'll get you in trouble for it?"

"Just like old times," James chuckled, ruffling his hair for the first time in a long time.

Lily practically beamed at him. It was amazing how something that used to drive her mad was now something that brought back fond memories. "But first, where was it you were taking me?

- - - - - - -

Vanessa woke early to the alarm clack blaring on her bedside table. She slammed a fist on it and opened her eyes just in time to see the door close behind Lily and James, and could not help but smile slightly.

The brunette rolled out of bed and made her way to the bathroom for a quick shower, and after going through her usual morning routine, she grabbed her bag and headed out the door – bound for the hospital wing and a visit to Remus.

Before going to the infirmary, Vanessa took a quick short cut James and Sirius had showed her that led down the kitchens. There, she picked up some toast and a bar of chocolate from the ever helpful house-elves before climbing back up the stairs. She walked through the hallways, humming quietly to herself until she came to the hospital wing. The door was open, so she entered immediately.

What she saw sent the paper sack in her hand tumbling to the ground.

Sitting on the end of Remus' bed was a girl Vanessa did not recognize. She was utterly gorgeous – with long, sleek black hair, brilliant blue eyes, creamy skin, and a radiant smile. Vanessa rarely allowed herself to be jealous of others, but when she heard the girl's tinkling laugh – so unlike her own loud one – something inside of her snapped.

"Who are you?" she demanded, hands clenched into fists at her sides.

The girl looked up, startled, while Remus looked torn between fear and relief.

"Oh!" the girl gasped, her voice soft and sweet. "Well, I'm um…"

"Never mind, it doesn't matter," Vanessa said scornfully. "Get out."

The other girl looked down in what she must have thought was shame, though Vanessa didn't buy it. She was about to pull her wand out and threaten her if she had to, but at least the other girl seemed to have some brains, because she gave Remus a final longing glance and rushed out the door.

Vanessa shut her eyes, praying silently for patience before turning around to face Remus. He immediately jumped off the bed and made to put his hands on her shoulders, but she backed away. There was hurt evident in his eyes, but for the moment, she let him feel it.

"Vanessa, it's not what you think, really. She just – showed up this morning. I've never seen her before," he tried to explain. He did not appear to be lying, but Vanessa was not entirely sure.

"Who was she?" she asked, her broken voice betraying the hurt Vanessa had been trying so hard not to show.

"She said her name was Kara," Remus said, shrugging hopelessly. "I have no idea where she came from."

Vanessa merely stared at him for a moment, looking for some hint of a lie. She found none, however and opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off.

"Listen to me," he said seriously, taking her hands in his. This time, she let him and felt the familiar scars pressing against her palms in a comforting way. "I would never, ever do that to you. Not for the world. You have been so much more of a blessing than I ever would have imagined receiving. I couldn't give that up. And I know I'm not very good at the whole romantic thing, but Nessa, you mean so much to me. I'm sorry if I haven't always shown it."

Vanessa was not normally one to openly show her emotions, but whatever had snapped inside of her before seemed to have caused an estrogen leak, for at that moment, she promptly burst into tears.

She was immediately engulfed in warm, caring arms, and she buried her face in his chest. She had never hated hospital clothes more than at that moment, for rather than the usual earthy sent he gave off, she smelled of sterile material and Pepperup potion. But it didn't matter much; she would have soaked the shirt through no matter what it smelled like as she sobbed uncontrollably into him.

"What is it?" Remus asked frantically, rubbing her back and trying to see her face. "What's wrong?"

"I – don't – know," she told him, gasping for air as tears continued to fall. "I believe – you. Really. I – just can't – stop."

Remus laughed softly, brushing her hair back and holding her arms gently so her could bend down and look into her puffy red eyes. "You're incredible sometimes, you know that? I still cannot fathom why you would ever pick me."

"Probably because you're the only guy in the world who won't run screaming if I ever start crying like that," she joked weakly, hiccupping every few words. "Maybe I need your stability."

"Stability and werewolf are on opposite ends of the spectrum, Ness," Remus told her softly, pulling her back into a warm hug and kissing the top of her head.

"Then the spectrum must be pretty short, because you somehow manage both."

- - - - - - -

Neither of them saw the girl leave the hospital wing and enter the bathroom across the hall. They did not see Kara's pretty white smile melt into Brenna's twisted smirk as she undid the spell she had placed in her appearance.

All was going according to Bellatrix's plan.

- - - - - - -

James led her across the grounds and straight to the Forbidden Forest.

"That's more like it," Lily commented, feeling the rush of adrenaline at the thought of breaking the rules.

He grinned at her and pushed aside the foliage, revealing a thin path through the trees. "The Forest is sort of amazing, you know," James said, looking around. "It's filled with so much magic. Most people are just too afraid to find it." They walked in comfortable silence for a while before coming to a clearing. The newly rising sun was peeping over the trees and filling the space with the soft golden light of morning.

On the edge of the clearing stood an old stone well, the vines that had once covered it roughly pulled away.

"It's a wishing well." James' voice was soft, as if he was afraid to disturb the magic that filled the air. He brought Lily close enough so she could read the inscription along the top.

"Wow, James," Lily whispered back once she was through. "How did you find this?"

He winked at her. "Marauder's secret, love. I just wanted you to know it was here, and you can, you know, make a wish if you like."

"Isn't that something you should think about before doing? I know you're the type of person to act first and question later, but you don't want to regret anything."

"Then maybe I'll surprise you by saying that I actually haven't made my wish yet."

Lily grinned up at him. "You continually surprise me, James. I've just learned not to show it."

"And why would you not want to?" he asked, cocking his eyebrow in that flirty way that Lily had almost begun to miss.

Almost.

"Because I don't like to encourage you," she answered, that wonderfully familiar teasing tone reaching her voice for the first time in so long. "I mean, the biggest surprise is still that that thin neck of yours can actually support that ridiculously large head."

James pretended to be offended, and Lily had to smile. "You wound me!" he said, flooding her mind with memories of similar moments.

"Good, I meant to."

They began making their way back up to the school, laughing and bantering all the way.

- - - - - - -

After hearing that midnight conversation, Lily noticed that Severus never left Constance's side. To someone who did not know better, it would have appeared that he simply fancied her, but the Gryffindors knew differently. Queuing up outside the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom that day, she saw the pained look on Constance's face as he joined her in line, he did not look altogether happy with the situation either.

She still wondered about him sometimes, if he was truly evil now, or if maybe his judgment was only a bit askew. It was so dreadfully sad how people could change, but then again, she thought, at least if they could change for the worse, they were also capable of changing for the better.

Perry opened the door then, flashing them all that familiar white smile and Lily cringed, though it did make a difference when he looked at Constance and received only a harsh glare in return. At least something was looking up.

They filed inside, the girls receiving the usual up-and-down from Perry before taking their seats. For the first time, Constance crossed her arms over her chest and Perry looked slightly confused, though began the lesson anyway.

"Today, we will be begin the chapter on _werewolves_," he stated slowly, enunciating every word and giving a pointed look in the Gryffindors' direction.

"No," Lily whispered, as her hand automatically flew to her mouth in horror.. "McGonagall said she altered his memory of that. He can't know."

Remus was watching the professor with steely cold eyes, a look that was mirrored on the faces of Sirius and Vanessa.

"I heard him talking to Binns before class today," Alice muttered back, loathing etched in every one of her petite features. "That old codger. He knows about Remus, and was going on and on without a second thought. It was ridiculous. And now Perry is determined to expose him."

"Well he won't," Vanessa said firmly, hands clenched into fists in her lap. "Besides, I'm getting there with this Ministry stuff. Hopefully soon it won't even matter."

Lily nodded in agreement. "He can assign all the homework he wants, but he knows that if he says a word about Remus, he'll be fired straight away."

"And let him try," Remus challenged. "I've been careful. People who aren't close to me would never have noticed a thing."

"I want you all to turn to page 257 and read the chapter," Perry told them. "There is not much work we can actually do in class with werewolves as they are some of _the most dangerous of all magical creatures_." He stressed the last part and gave Remus a sidelong glance. "Once you have read, I want three feet on how to identify and kill a werewolf. Due next Monday."

The members of the class that did not know what was truly going on groaned at the assignment, but Lily imagined it could have been worse.

"On the up-side," Peter said brightly. "We don't have to read."

- - - - - - -

The events in the hospital wing that morning had caused a bit of awkwardness between Remus and Vanessa, but upon hearing Perry's crude attempt to expose him, she could not help but forgive anything he might have done.

They were sitting in class, pretending to read, so she reached under the table and took his hand. She gave it a small, reassuring squeeze and heard his sigh of relief.

Vanessa looked up to see him watching her with a slightly disbelieving look on his face.

"What?" she whispered, making sure Perry was far away.

Remus shook his head. "You're just sort of amazing sometimes, you know that?"

Vanessa felt herself blush and squeezed his hand again. "Maybe you just make me amazing."

"I don't think so," he said, giving her a smile. "I think you manage it all on your own."

"No touching," Perry scolded as he approached them, slapping their hands apart, and from across the room, Vanessa heard Constance give a snort of disgust.

- - - - - - -

_What on earth did I ever see in him? _Constance asked herself as she absentmindedly played with a strand of her platinum blonde hair. She stared blankly at the book in front of her, not caring in the least about the assignment.

Of course, she knew what she had seen in him. He was handsome, a Pureblood, a talented wizard - everything her mother had always taught her to look for in a man. She had never imagined that he would be quite so awful. That just was not what she had learned as a child. Growing up, she always thought that once she found an attractive Pureblood man with a good-sized Gringotts account, she would find her happily ever after.

But now she was beginning to wonder if happily ever after even existed at all.

She supposed it must, in some form or fashion. At least, her mother seemed happy. Then again, her mother was a goddess on the social scene and had a different man in her bed every night when her husband was away. But maybe, for her, that _was _happily ever after. So perhaps it did exist, only in more humble terms than those of fairytales.

But Constance did not think she could be happy in that way. She had thought she could, until it actually started to happen. Maybe there was something wrong with her, since she wasn't like her mother, or Bella, or Cissy. Had something gone wrong in her upbringing? Had she missed some important lesson on how to be happy?

When she went home for the Christmas holidays, she decided she would try to confront her mother about this issue. Trisha Malfoy had a quick and easy solution for everything, so she might possibly have one for a troubled and questioning mind. And once she stopped questioning herself, Bella and others might stop questioning her too.

And ultimately, that was what she wanted. Wasn't it?

- - - - - - -

Sirius was sick and tired of Duncan Perry and his petty little attempts to hurt his friends. And Sirius, being Sirius, had a plan.

"Oi! Prongs!" he whispered harshly before grabbing the back of James' robes as the boys made their way into the Great Hall for dinner. He hurriedly dragged his best friend into an empty classroom and shut the door.

"What is it, Padfoot?" James asked as he rubbed the spot on his neck where the robes had caught.

Sirius grinned mischievously for a moment, making James wait for it before explaining. "I have an idea to get back at Perry."

"Well? Go on then!" James prompted, his face lighting up.

"Okay, okay, here's what we're going to do. Have you ever been inside his office?"

James shook his head.

"Well, I have," Sirius told him, feeling a strong sense of revulsion rise at the memory. "When I had detention. Anyway, there's got to be a hundred different mirrors in there, and Lily says _you've _got a big head. So we're going to sneak in there while he's eating dinner and bewitch all of them with that spell McGonagall was telling us about."

A look of ecstasy appeared on James' face. "That one from the legend, about making people see themselves as they truly are, rather than what they look like?"

"That's the one," Sirius grinned and gave a bark-like laugh. "I can't wait to see the look on his face."

"It's going to take work though. Professor McG said it was really hard to master."

Sirius reached over and ruffled his friend's too-flat hair. "It's _us_, Prongsy. And if we can get Moony in on it, we're all set."

James grinned again, that old light of mischief rekindling in his hazel eyes.

- - - - - - -

Alice was sitting in the dormitory with Lily and Vanessa. They were working on their essays for Perry when the little blonde witch decided it was time for a girls' night.

"That's it, you two," she proclaimed, slamming her book shut and tossing her things back into her bag. "The three of us haven't just sat around and talked in forever. So I declare right now as girl time!"

Lily looked amused, and Vanessa as if a weight had already been lifted off her shoulders by that simple statement. They quickly put their stuff away and Alice reached under her bed and grabbed the big box they filled with sweets each year for such occasions. Lily, who was an awful cook but made perfect hot chocolate whipped up three mug-fulls in no time and soon the three of them were sitting comfortably on Vanessa's bed, ready for a good long talk.

"There _is _something I've been wanting to tell you two," Vanessa began hesitantly, running her finger around the edge of her cup.

Alice sensed that something was wrong, Vanessa rarely looked depressed like that, she was usually happy or determined, but never just… _sad_.

"What is it?" Lily asked kindly, clearly thinking along the same lines as Alice.

"Well," Vanessa began, tucking her long dark hair behind her ear. "I went to see Remus in the hospital wing this morning. It was early - maybe six. Anyway, when I got there, there was this girl sitting on the end of his bed, giggling at everything he said."

Alice felt her jaw drop, but immediately snapped it shut again. Lily's expression did nothing to hide her shock.

"But Remus would never," Lily's sentence trailed off, so Alice picked it up.

"Of course he wouldn't. He was probably in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or maybe she has a crush on him or something, I'm sure whatever it is, it's completely one-sided. Remus is too noble to do that."

"I know," Vanessa said, grabbing a Chocolate Frog from the box. "It just sort of hurt, you know?"

Alice nodded sympathetically and reached out to took her friend's hand, while Lily took the other. "We're here, Ness," Alice said, speaking for both of them. "Things have been different lately, but you still know that, right?"

Vanessa smiled and nodded. "Best friends forever, right?"

"Forever," Lily and Alice repeated simultaneously. All three girls knew that it was a naïve statement, but in uncertain times, it was good to have something strong to hope for.

- - - - - - -

While the girls were upstairs, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter squashed themselves under the invisibility cloak and snuck down a few floors to Perry's office. Peter, having transformed into a rat in order to fit beneath the cloak, wiggled through the crack between the locked door and the floor and became human again to let his friends inside.

The boys tiptoed in and could not contain snorts of disgust and disbelief. Mirrors covered almost every available surface, and the parts that were not reflective sported band prints and self-motivation posters. _Pathetic._

James stuffed the cloak into his pocket and turned to Remus, who was the only one to have mastered the spell.

"Okay, Wormtail," James instructed. "You stand guard, Moony, see if Padfoot can get the spell right, and the two of you can enchant the mirrors. I'll watch the other door."

The boys nodded and set to work. Sirius, quite apt with Charms work, and was able to manage the spell after a few failed attempts. He and Remus rushed around the room, never pausing to see their own reflections, they of all people unsure of what they would see. When they were done, James smirked and pulled a folded piece of parchment from his pocket.

"Now we need to put this charm on them," he explained, taking out his wand and handing Remus the parchment.

"What does it do?" the sandy-haired boy asked warily.

James grin grew wider. "It will _turn him into _whatever he sees in the mirror. Don't worry, it's much simpler than the other one. I think we all can manage."

The three of them made one last round through the room while Peter stood look-out. Once finished, they quickly threw the cloak back over themselves and rushed back upstairs, triumphant grins on each of their faces.

- - - - - - -

The smile seemed glued to Alice's face. She simply could not stop grinning. Girl time had always been one of her favorite parts about Hogwarts, and she was finally able to have it again. After all the turmoil over the past few weeks, to simply sit around splurging on chocolate and revealing their hearts' newest secrets was a wonderful thing.

She meticulously picked a pink Bertie Bott's bean from the carton and nibbled off the end. Her smile grew wider when she found it was flavored like Drooble's Best Blowing Gum - her favorite. She popped it into her mouth and listened contentedly to the conversation.

"So then, James comes sprinting down the stairs with Sirius right behind him, and Sirius had gum sticking out of his ears!" Lily exclaimed, holding her sides as she laughed at the memory.

Vanessa and Alice burst into laughter as well, gasping for air at the mental image they received from Lily's story.

"Okay, okay," Alice said, breathing hard. "My turn. Let's see… Oh! This one time, my mum was throwing this huge Christmas Ball for all her uppity friends. Well, James' family had been invited. James and I never got along, but we were the youngest ones there - only nine - so we decided, well, he decided and I went along with, playing a prank on some of the more pompous adults.

So the two of us snuck down to the kitchen and ordered the house elves to make some of the food extra spicy. They, of course, had no choice but to comply. Then we told them that no one wanted anything to drink because they were all going out soon and that they needn't worry about setting any out."

"Alice!" Vanessa scolded, but she was laughing. "You have an evil streak in you!"

The petite blonde gave her best wicked grin before finishing the story. "Anyway, one of the ladies I particularly disliked actually ended up drinking out of the toilet! And some of the others ran outside and started shoveling snow down their throats!"

By now, they were all laughing again when Vanessa made an odd sort of choking noise. She coughed a couple of times and spat out a clear colored Bean. "How ironic," she commented, examining it distastefully. "Dirty toilet water."

- - - - - - -

After a long girl talk, Lily bed her friends goodnight and told them she was running down to the common room to pick up a few of her things. Honestly, though, she knew for a fact that a certain person would be down there, for he was the only one of his friends that had not yet finished his werewolf essay.

And Lily needed to talk to Sirius Black.

She found him sitting alone by a low table in the far corner of the room. He did not seem to be working incredibly hard, rather writing lazily and effortlessly. Without announcing herself, Lily sat down beside him.

"Hey, Sirius?" she asked softly. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Of course, Lily-flower. One moment." He signed his paper with unnecessary flourish and turned so he was face to face with Lily. "How can I help you?"

Lily took a deep breath before she explained. "Here's the thing. I have got to help Stella. I was thinking about it while Alice, Ness, and I were talking just now, and it is absolutely eating me up that she is trapped somewhere and we're just sitting around doing nothing. So I decided that I'm going to Malfoy Manor when we leave for Christmas next week, no one will notice, they'll just assume I've gone home with Alice or Vanessa."

"You're not planning on going alone," Sirius stated, as if deciding for her.

Lily rolled her eyes, but smiled at him. "No, I would have to be really thick to think that I could do this by myself. That's where you come in. I wouldn't ask, honestly, but Sirius, you're the only one who I imagine will even allow me to go in the first place. James certainly never would, and I don't think the girls feel strongly enough to think it's worth the risk."

"And I do?" Sirius asked, looking slightly amused.

Lily blushed. "It's not that really, it's more that I never really got the feeling that you and I are as close as the others, and you don't have any reason to stop me."

"Come on, Lily-flower. James is my best mate, and therefore I am obligated to care about you. However, in doing so, I have to care about what's important to you, right? And if this is important to you, we're doing it."

Lily could have kissed him. On the cheek, of course, but she decided against. Instead, she smiled widely at him. "Sirius, you are fantastic," she told him.

He winked. "And reckless, I've been told. Don't worry, I'll make this work."

"Thank you so much, Sirius, I really don't know what I can do to -"

Sirius cut her off with a knowing look. "There is something you can do. But it would be for James, not for me. I'm not going to ask it of you though because I know it's coming in time, so consider your debt already paid by your future self."

Lily gave him a quizzical look, but laughed nonetheless. "You're the best."

"I try," he said simply, giving a better shrug of feigned-modesty than James would ever have been able to manage.

- - - - - - -

As Lily laid down to sleep that night, she heard the soft creak of the dormitory door. The other girls already had their candles out and their curtains closed, so she swung her legs out of bed and got up to investigate. She ended up running headlong into a tall figure with a broad, muscular chest.

"Lily?" a soft voice asked.

"James?" she answered, both relieved and exasperated. "I told you not to come back."

"And since when do I follow orders?" She could almost hear the smirk in his voice.

Lily rolled her eyes and took a step backwards. "Never, of course. But that doesn't mean I have to put up with your disobedience."

"Oh?" he asked, moving closer to her, his warm breath caressing her face. "And what do you think you're going to do about it?"

Lily gulped and tried to step back again, but found her path blocked by the post of her bed. "Well, if you can stay up all night, I can too."

"Now why would you do a silly thing like that?"

His face was mere inches from hers, and Lily's heart began to beat wildly. Clearly something was different between them. She tried, naturally, to convince herself that she was simply allergic to him, but she was beginning to realize that that might not be the case.

"Because," she answered, her husky voice giving her away more than she would have liked. "I'm a silly person?"

James chuckled, breaking the moment. Even in the dark she could see his eyes light up, and his warm smile reflected the light of the moon. "That you are, love, that you are. Come on, get to bed."

She crossed her arms defiantly. "No."

"So that's how it's going to be?" James asked. With a shrug, he grabbed her around the waist and easily lifted her over his shoulder.

Lily barely contained a scream for the sake of the other girls as he gently threw her back down onto her bad.

"Sleep, Lily," James told her softly.

She sat right back up and crossed her arms again. "No, you are getting some rest tonight, Potter. I will not stand for this self-sacrificing attitude."

"Potter, now, am I?" he asked, a playful note in his voice.

"Yes," Lily grinned. "And you will remain such until you listen to me."

That look he so often got on his face, that loving smile that he reserved for Lily alone, appeared once more. "I do listen, love, to every word. It's only a matter of if I do what you say."

She rolled her eyes and pushed his chest lightly, though it had no effect. "Then do what I say, Potter. Go back to bed."

"Lily, Lily, Lily," he said, shaking his head, black hair flopping all over the place. "You've known me for six years now, surely you know it's not that easy."

Lily shrugged. "I figured it was worth a try. Anyway, what could I possibly do to get you to do what I tell you?"

"You could go out with me."

Lily groaned. She knew that was coming. She had not had to listen to those words for a while now, and she had been fully enjoying their absence. "I think I'd rather just go to sleep." She sat back on the edge of her bed, but made no motion as if to lie down.

"That's my girl," he said softly, conjuring up his regular wooden chair.

"Why do you sit on that thing, James? I mean, Potter?" Lily corrected herself. "At least use something more comfortable."

James raised his eyebrows. "And risk falling asleep? Never."

"You are so aggravating," she told him, throwing her hands up in the air to emphasize.

"And you are so beautiful."

"You know, that 'comeback' can get a bit old." She was lying, of course. Who could possibly get bored with being called beautiful?

James smiled again, taking her hand gently. "The truth never gets old darling, not enough people use it these days."

"At least you're right in that," Lily sighed. "Listen, I'll make a deal with you."

"What's that?"

"You can stay with me every other night. That way, we each get to sleep."

"And why would I do that?" James asked. "I would rather you get all of it. You certainly need it more. You're the one who actually studies."

Lily felt a small burst of anger at his chivalry, but tried to contain it. "Cut the heroics, please. I know all that 'you're more important that me' stuff is all nice and fluffy and romantic, but James, this is the real world, there is a real war going on, and we are all facing very real problems. We all need as much rest as we can get. So please, just do this. If you want to do something for me, you can sleep. I mean it."

She thought he would be offended by her sudden outburst, but quite the opposite, rather than hissing something back at her, he ruffled her hair and laughed lightly.

"And you call me self-sacrificing. You know what you're doing by trying to sleep by yourself. I've heard the screaming, love."

"It doesn't matter. If you only come every other night, then we both sleep. Nightmares or no. _Please_," Lily knew she was starting to beg, but sometimes, that was the only way to get through that head of his.

He studied her face for a moment, contemplating his options. "And what if I don't accept?"

"Then," Lily began, feeling slightly cruel. "We revert to our original relationship. The one where I hate you."

"You could never hate me," he whispered, leaning in so his face was once more only inches from hers. "You want me too much."

She barely managed to stifle a giggle at this statement. She moved even closer, taunting him. "You think _far _too highly of yourself, Potter. What do you say? Do you accept?"

"I suppose I have to," he answered, staring at her lips. Lily smiled and licked them seductively before jumping backwards and crawling into bed. "Good night then!"

James let out a low grown and felt back into his seat, "Good night, love. Pleasant dreams."

- - - - - - -

Perry sat in his office, face in his hands and in a state of utter despair. When he had returned to his office and checked his appearance in his favorite mirror, he had seen something so shocking, so grotesque, that he had fainted on the spot. Once he came-too, he rushed to Madam Pomfrey and had her examine the pig snout that now sprouted from the middle of his face, but the healer said that there was nothing she could do. She said it would probably wear off soon, but until then, he was stuck with it.

And he had a strong feeling that he knew who was behind it new look. A certain group of Gryffindors who were far too protective of their little wolf friend. Speaking of which, he had their essays to grade. He pulled the stack towards him and searched out the Gryffindors, hoping that they contained something he could dock points and assign detentions for. The one on top was none other than Lupin's himself.

_**Me, My Wolf, and I**_

_By Remus J. Lupin, Gryffindor_

_Hello, Professor._

_I know you asked for an essay on how to recognize and kill a werewolf, but honestly, I have ways of recognizing them far beyond normal human perception, and to tell the truth, I am not at all suicidal._

_So I imagine my essay will be slightly different than those of all the other students. Now, I do not believe that anything I say here will change your mind in the slightest as to your opinion of people of my… condition, but someone once told me that it's a lot easier to make something work if you go into it already fully convinced that it will rather than going into it expecting to fail, so I am going to hope that you will at least consider what I have to say, if only for her sake._

_The essay you are about to read will answer your questions, though undoubtedly not in the way you expect._

_Now, the other papers you will receive will surely talk about the werewolf's tufted tail and its elongated muzzle, but how many of them actually know what they are talking about? How many of them have seen it first hand, know for a fact that werewolves grow to one and a half times their normal height? Because that is one of the many myths that people simply take as fact. In truth, the spine grows twice its original size, but because as a human they are not used to holding up that much weight, they slouch and walk on all fours, giving them the appearance of being smaller than they are._

_But you didn't know that, did you professor? You with all your years in school just learned something new from someone you consider below your scope of interest. You'd be surprised, professor, how much more I know than you._

_For instance, do you know what it's like to feel every bone in your body snap and reassemble into a completely different form? I do. Do you know what it's like to freeze in terror whenever the moon appears on a cloudy night? I do. Tell me, have you spent your whole life trying to push people away because you're afraid of hurting someone who gets too close? I have. Have you ever smelt blood and had to run the other way for fear of craving its taste? I have._

_And do you go around living your life day after day as of everything is perfect and things couldn't be better because you worry that if you complain of the trouble of being a monster those friends you do have will push you away? I do._

_And speaking of things that you know nothing of, were you aware that there is a rule book for those cursed as I am? Yes, a literal, ink and paper rule book with three hundred and twenty-one different things that I am not allowed to do. Do you know how many things are on the list of what I can do? Thirty-seven. Impossible, you say? Not at all. I have the book under my bed, as the first rule in the book is that it must stay within my vicinity. And after that, there are three hundred and twenty restrictions on my life. Would you ever have imagined that something as simple as dating once I am of age is technically forbidden? That I could be accused of using a love potion or a confundus charm on any member of the female population that ever shows any amount of interest in me when I am past the age of seventeen? If you never imagined it, guess what? It's my harsh reality._

_Do you know what happens if I so much as toe the line on any one of those rules? I would hazard a guess that you don't. Allow me to enlighten you, professor. It all begins with a letter. A single, brief letter from the Ministry stating that you are out of bounds. Moments later, a team of Law Enforcement wizards arrive wherever you happen to be. They stun you and transport you back to the Ministry building like the animal they believe you to be._

_And as an animal, I have no right to a fair trial, or a trial at all for that matter. I have fewer rights than a hippogriff. So without trial, they take you to the lowest level in the Ministry._

_Have you any idea how many levels there are in that building? Nine, perhaps? Oh no, that's only what they want you to think. But I know better. There are, in fact, ten. And that deepest, dankest level, the one with the 10 etched into the heavy steel door, with no other label, is where they take a magical creature who breaks one of the rules. It is a single, high ceiling room with black walls. If you look hard enough, you can see the stains. For the Ministry, naïve as they are, believe the myth that a silver bullet is the only thing that can kill a werewolf. They distance themselves so far from us that they fail to realize that we are man and mortal as they are, and that a simple spell will do the trick. But in that room, there is a gun - a single, simple handgun with an endless supply of silver bullets. They take you there and make you stand facing them, as they aim at your heart, and soon, you become another faded stain on the walls of a clandestine room._

_And that could be for loving someone._

_So before you mark this essay as "Troll," or write me off for a weeks' worth of detentions, look back, I answered your questions. After all, werewolf or no, I am top of the class._

_You asked how to identify a werewolf. It's easy. Don't go looking for a beast in the woods, no, that _would_ be suicide. Instead, find you a well-populated Wizarding area. Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade will do, and look for someone who sits alone, away from one of their possible future victims. Look for someone who is forced to carry a bag with them whenever they leave home, for to be caught without one's rulebook is a crime in and of itself. Look for someone with a haunted, tired look hidden behind happy eyes. A look that can only come from seeing those stains. Or maybe, just look for me. How to identify a werewolf? Like I said: easy. They walk among you everyday, but most of the world would never notice, because they are too caught up in the monster to see the man._

_And you asked how to kill a werewolf. Well, did I give you enough gory detail to answer the question?_

_So like I said, I hardly believe that this will change you opinion of me, but it never hurts to hope, does it? So you can fail me, or give this too my head of house in hopes that I could be expelled, really do what you will. But at least now maybe you won't be able to simply hate me and what I am with a clean conscience. Maybe now you've had one small taste of what people like me go through, and maybe, just maybe, you might finally see the bigger picture._

- - - - - - -

Professor McGonagall put down Remus Lupin's essay and looked at Duncan Perry over the spectacles that perched on the end of her nose. He had brought her all of the Gryffindors' essays, and she finally finished the last one.

"I am afraid I do not understand the problem, Professor Perry," she told him, glancing over Remus' one last time.

Perry sputtered for a moment, a look of exasperation on his pig-like face. "Did you not read them? They hardly answered the question I asked, not to mention some of their comments about me! And look at Black's! Did you see that language?"

She took her glasses off and gave Perry a long, stern look. "From my knowledge, everything they said, comments included, were completely truthful, so you surely cannot count off for that. As for Mr. Black, I find the use of language gets his point across nicely, don't you?"

Had Sirius written such a vile essay for her class, she would naturally have deducted points for use of such strong language, but she, of course, would never tell that to Perry.

The man stared at her in disbelief. "And what about Lupin's? How can I even know that what he said was true? Not to mention the fact that none of them actually answered the question relating to the _monster_ werewolf! They all talked about the human side!"

"Professor Perry, I do not know what sort of training you had before you arrived here, but I would imagine that Mr. Lupin has a much more extensive knowledge of the subject than you or I. If I were you, I would be thanking him for enlightening me on a topic I clearly knew very little about. And when assigning the essay, did you state that you wanted to be told about the monster?" McGonagall asked, though she gave him no time to answer. "I would be willing to assume that you did not. Most of us don't. When we say 'werewolf' we take for granted that everyone knows we are talking about the beast. However, in a room full of students who know a werewolf on a personal level, the word means a lot more than it does to the vast majority of us."

"But -"

"_So,_" McGonagall pressed on, overriding whatever pathetic argument he had been about to make. "In answer to your original question, _no, _I will not sign off on a month of detention for each of them. _No_, I will not allow you to remove them from you class, and _no _you may not fail them on this essay. In fact, I believe they all deserve Outstandings and ten points each to Gryffindor for looking at things in a different perspective, don't you agree?"

Perry looked for a moment as if he wanted to dispute her statement, but thought better of it. "Yes, ma'am," he told her in defeat, and turned to leave the room.

"Oh, and professor?" McGonagall called, feeling the need to say one final thing. "I do think the pig snout looks _quite_ dashing."

* * *

**IMPORTANT: Remus' essay was **_**strongly**_** influenced by the story **_**Perspective**_**, by **_**oony**_**! Credit where credit is due.**

**And I will be posting Alice, Sirius, and Vanessa's essays as a little companion story if you would like to read them. (:**

**And thanks again to the fabulous**_** pinkpearl89**_**!**

**ALSO, the rescue of Stella will begin next chapter for those of you who have been waiting for that!**

**And I just love McGonagall, don't you?**

**And I KNOW that Tonks is younger than I made her, but just give me this one thing guys, come on. Everything else is totally canon, who care if that one little thing is slightly off?**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_Hold a true friend with both your hands. _-- _Nigerian Proverb_


	33. Finding Stella Redwood

**01.01.10 – HAPPY NEW YEAR!**

**You know, I honestly believe that I have the greatest reviewers on this entire website, you always give me the longest, most wonderful reviews. I love you guys! So this chapter is dedicated to all of you: **_**mattibff, MaxRideRox, -the smell of autumn-, Sarahrules336, SecretlyAGryffindor, xrainbowsx, **__**Amanda A.K.A Mithwritter, ivyflightislistening, lana-bear, Lilypipo, raneonthewyndoepain, mica259, RaindropsOnTheRoodftop, SnarkySidekick, Kmonae, **_**and of course, the wonderful**_** pinkpearl89**_**, who did not have to review because she read it while editing. XD I love all of you to bits!**

**Disclaimer: Another year gone by, and alas, it still be not mine.**

_If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place._

**Chapter Thirty-Three: Finding Stella Redwood**

Lily was packing her trunk to go home for the holidays when a noise from behind made her spin around so quickly she almost lost her balance. As she steadied herself on the bedpost, she noticed that the noise had come from none other than James Potter, who was leaning against the doorframe with an amused smirk on his face.

"Jumpy, are we?" he teased.

Lily rolled her eyes and turned back to the clothes she was folding. "I wouldn't be if people didn't sneak up on me."

"But by not sneaking, I take all the fun away."

"I'm a prefect," Lily said with a shrug as she tried to contain a laugh. "Taking the fun away is what I do."

James grinned and entered the room, sitting on Alice's cluttered bed. "Where are Alice and Ness anyway?"

"Alice ran around to the kids we've been teaching. She had some book she thought they should all read over the break. And Nessa had some stuff to return to the library."

"Are they both going home for Christmas?" James asked almost hesitantly, as if he didn't want to remind Lily of the fact that she wouldn't be seeing her family.

"Yes," she answered, giving him a small smile. "You don't have to tiptoe around my feelings, James. I've accepted what happened."

He nodded. "Where are you going then?" he went on, looking around at her things – neatly organized and ready to be packed.

"Oh, um," Lily stuttered, she had not planned on anything past Malfoy Manor. "I'm staying with Alice."

James shook his head. "No, you're not. I asked both the girls already." She made to brush away the comment, but James cut her off. "Lily, what aren't you telling me?"

"I, well," she struggled to find the words and found she could not meet his eyes. "It just, you're not going to like it."

"It doesn't matter," James said softly. He stood and placed a finger under her chin, lifting her face so he could see it. "Whatever it is, you can tell me. I won't get angry."

Lily looked at him for a moment, taking in the sincerity in his eyes before she took a deep breath. "I'm going to Malfoy Manor, James. I have to, I mean, I can't just leave Stella there like that. And no one else seems to be doing anything about it. So I'm sorry, but –"

"Lily," he said, putting his hand gently over her mouth. "Lily, it's okay. You know I didn't expect anything less of you, right?"

She stared at him in mild disbelief. "You're not mad?"

"Well," James began, looking around the room as he thought of what he wanted to say. His hazel eyes snapped back to hers as he continued. "The only thing that would make me angry is if you go without me."

Lily sighed with relief as an anxious bubble of laughter escaped her lips. She had been so worried he was going to blow up on her. "And you just keep surprising me."

James smiled at her. "And you're not afraid to admit it this time?"

"I think after what you just said, a little bit of head inflation is permitted," she grinned back. "Will you really come with me?"

James chuckled. "Of course, love. I wouldn't dream of doing anything else."

Lily felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders, only to be replaced with wings. She gave him a genuine smile and a quick hug. "You don't know how much that means to me."

"If it means half as much as what you mean to me, I think I have a pretty good idea." He winked at her, once again exercising that talent of his for turning conversations around.

But of course, maybe out of habit or routine, Lily chose to ignore it, turning back to pack the last things into her trunk, her heart a bit lighter than it had been before his entrance.

- - - - - - -

Sitting in one of the last compartments on the train was a group of Slytherin students, a plan long since made about to be put into action.

"Constance," Bellatrix instructed. "You are going to strike up a conversation with that blood traitor, Black. Convince him that you are now on his side. Regulus will go with you, Disillusioned. Snape, you take Lily. I want you to come up with something to tell her about Potter, something that will make her dirty blood curl. Vega and Avery will try to split up Longbottom and Hinton, and Brenna and Mulciber will take care of Lupin and Reese. I will take Pettigrew. Now, the Dark Lord wishes to see Black and Pettigrew, so they must be captured. As for the others – take them if you must, but otherwise, I just want you to try to make them fight amongst themselves. Do you all understand?"

Constance nodded along with the others, though with a strange tugging in her heart. She wanted to help Bellatrix, she really did. She hoped that by doing this, she would prove her loyalty to her family. And while loyalty was known as a Gryffindor sort of quality, the Dark Lord and his followers valued it in their own way as well.

She knew she was not all that brave, and therefore could never be like Sirius and run away. Though, now that she spent time thinking about it, he never really ran away from anything, rather, he ran towards what he believed in. But of course, he was a Gryffindor, and they were known for being more courageous than the rest. Coming from a family that based their lives around House values, Constance had grown up being told that because she was in Slytherin, she was not brave, and that it was a good thing. That bravery was merely the virtue of fools, of those who wanted nothing more than to be heroes. _But what's so great about heroes?_ Lucius used to say. _Who wants to throw themselves headfirst into danger to save others when you can stay safe and stay alive?_ That was the Malfoy family philosophy – the hero never really wins because of the great risks involved in heroics.

So there she was, ready to go and cut down the people trying to be the heroes. She would do it for her own personal honor, her own glory. She would do it for the respect and acceptance of her family. She would do it for what she had grown up believing. And she would do it because she did not believe she was strong enough to do anything else.

So she stood and followed Bellatrix out of the compartment, Regulus at her heels. The others placed a Disillusionment Charm over themselves and stayed a few paces behind. Regulus and Bellatrix did the same once they reached the Marauder's compartment and Constance stood alone. Someone prodded her in the back and she gently knocked on the door.

It was James who answered. He looked confused upon seeing her, but smiled nonetheless.

"Can I help you?" he asked politely.

Constance's tongue seemed to stick to the roof of her mouth, but she took a deep breath and answered him. "Actually, I was wondering if I could speak with Sirius?"

He looked even more startled than James, but shrugged and followed her out into the hallway. She led him farther down the train and into a carriage that she knew contained an invisible Regulus.

Sirius stood a head and half taller than she, and he would easily have towered over his brother as well. Constance suppressed a gulp and went into her story.

"Listen," she began. "I must be quick. Bellatrix thinks I've gone to the loo."

"What's this all about?" Sirius asked, running a hand through his shaggy black hair – something Constance imagined he must have picked up from James. She almost stopped right then and there, but the disapproving look her mother would have given her loomed in Constance's mind, so she went on.

"Look, you left home, didn't you? You finally realized how daft the Pureblood mania really is and you got out."

Sirius seemed rather wary. "Yeah, and?"

"And," Constance pressed on, ignoring the little voice in the back of her mind screaming at her to stop. "I need your help. I – can't do it by myself."

A surprised expression returned to his dark face. "You're bluffing."

"I'm not," she argued, but it came out rather hoarse and broken, giving her away.

Sirius' eyes widened and he spun around, about to run when Regulus shrieked "_STUPEFY_!"

The older Black son went rigid and fell to the ground. Constance yanked her wand out of the back pocket of her jeans and hastily conjured a rope to bind him with.

"What was that?" Regulus hissed, reappearing in the corner of the room.

"I'm sorry," Constance groaned. _That's the way to prove your loyalty, _she thought dryly._ Put the whole mission into jeopardy by almost giving yourself away._

- - - - - - -

Remus and Vanessa sat alone in their compartment. Lily was talking to Snape and Sirius was with Constance Malfoy. James had followed them to ensure Lily's safety. Alice and Frank had disappeared as well.

"Don't you think it's a bit odd that everyone's gone at the same time?" Vanessa asked, looking slightly worried.

Remus took her hand reassuringly. "I was just thinking the same thing."

At that moment, the door opened and in walked a giggling girl with long black hair and sparkling blue eyes – Kara.

"Remy!" she squealed, and threw her arms around him. "It's so good to see you!"

Remus was thoroughly taken aback, and by the look on her face, Vanessa was too.

"Kara?" he asked as soon as she let him go. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh Remy, I just came to say goodbye and Happy Christmas! I'm going to miss you so much!" she exclaimed in a shrill voice.

Remus stared at her in disbelief. "What are you talking about? I hardly know you."

"What are _you_ talking about, Remy?" she pouted. "_Of course_ I know you, silly!"

"Get out," Vanessa said suddenly. Remus looked to see her standing, wand out and her voice dangerously low.

"What pretty?" Kara mocked. "Jealous?" She too pulled out her wand and aimed it right between Vanessa's eyes.

"Stop!" Remus commanded, drawing his wand and standing in front of Vanessa. "I don't know who you are, or what you want with us, but I suggest you leave now."

"_Us?_ Why Remy, it's only _you_ that I want," she cooed, stepping forward, ignoring his wand.

Remus felt a hot wave of anger hit him suddenly. He had finally been given a gift in life in the form of Vanessa, and now someone was trying to take that from him. He pointed his wand directly at her, gritted his teeth, and shouted "_Expelliarmus!_"

"_Protego!"_ came a male voice. Mulciber appeared behind Kara out of nowhere, as if he had been invisible before. Remus was extremely confused for an instant before Kara's slim form distorted and morphed until Brenna Chang stood in her place, a twisted grin on her face.

"Surprised, Remy?" she teased in a sickly sweet voice before she shot a jet of orange light at Vanessa. She was immediately knocked out and fell to the ground, dropping her wand along the way.

"_Accio!"_ Brenna hissed and grabbed it before Remus got the chance. "Now come with me, Remy, dear, and we won't hurt her."

Remus weighed his options. He was still weak from the recent full moon and doubted he could stand up to Mulciber if the fight became physical. Then again, if he surrendered, there was no way of knowing that they would keep their word.

"_Levicorpus!"_ he shouted, making his decision. "_Reducto!"_

Mulciber took both blows and shot backwards through the air. He hit the compartment wall opposite and seemed to be out cold.

"_Petrificus Totalis!"_ Brenna cried, and Remus felt his entire body go rigid. He fell face first on the floor and heard the girl mutter something else before it all went black.

- - - - - - -

Alice and Vega rolled around on the floor of the cramped compartment, each trying to gain the advantage in the hand-to-hand fight they were engaged in. Both girls had been disarmed, and their wands lay forgotten somewhere under the benches.

The petite blonde yanked her fist back and slammed it into the taller girl's jaw and glanced at Frank for an instant. He was dueling hard with Avery, neither ever seeming better than the other. Avery used jinxes Alice had never heard of before, though Frank always managed to block them. The thought crossed her mind that he would make a fantastic Auror when a searing pain went through her skull as Vega lifted her by the hair. Alice jerked her elbow into her nose and was freed, so with all the force she could muster, she kicked Vega in the stomach. The Slytherin doubled over in pain for a moment and Alice almost lost all heart for the fight. Almost, until Vega's head snapped back up and she tackled Alice to the ground and began punching every inch of her she could reach.

Suddenly, though, the weight lifted off her and she looked up to see Frank standing over her. He threw Vega to the side and shot ropes from his wand to bind her.

"Are you all right?" he asked worriedly, placing his hand gently on her cheek while the other was around Alice's waist to help her into a sitting position.

She nodded and wiped blood from her split lip. "What about you?" He looked perfect, of course, as though he had not even broken a sweat, but Alice felt she should at least ask.

"I'm fine. Here." He ripped the edge of his undershirt off and pressed it softly to her mouth to stop the bleeding.

"Thanths," Alice told him thickly. She pulled it away a moment so she could speak. "We'd better go find the others. It can't just be Vega and Avery."

Frank nodded, and then he leaned in and kissed her – bloody lip and all. He was gentle, too, so that there was no way he would hurt her.

"I love you," he told her. "You know that, right?"

Alice grinned. "Of course I know it. And I love you."

"Good," Frank said with a smile. "Because you owe me one for finishing your fight."

Alice rolled her eyes. Of course he would make a joke, but that was one of the things she loved most about him, so she allowed herself to smile before taking his hand and following him out the door, leaving a knocked out and tied up pair of Slytherins behind them.

- - - - - - -

"Lily, listen, you didn't hear what he was saying!" Severus pleaded, and Lily rolled her eyes.

"Do you really expect me to believe anything you say, Severus?" she asked him harshly. "You've always hated James."

"And you used to as well! Or have you forgotten everything?"

Lily sighed in frustration, rubbing her temples. "I haven't forgotten anything, Sev. But he's changed. We all have, all right? You more than anyone."

It had been a low blow, she knew, but it was nothing less than he deserved.

"I know," he said, almost sadly. "Believe me, I know. And maybe I didn't make all the right choices, but Lily, just please do this for me. He's only acting like he's changed because he wants to get you to go out with him. It's all a game to him, and once he's bored with you, he'll just dump you and move on."

"Perhaps a year ago I would have believed you," she told him quietly. "But you don't know him, Sev, not now. Haven't you noticed that he's left you alone?"

"That's not the point, Lily. He's an arrogant, thick-headed, vile pig. Truly he is. And you've just gotten too entranced by the Potter charm to see it. That's why I'm here, to remind you, like I always used to."

It was not as if what he was saying was completely far-fetched, and it was the believability of his story that caused Lily's temper to flare.

"You listen to me, Severus," she growled, though she would not threaten him with her wand. "Just because your newfound place in the ranks of Voldemort has made you feel so high and mighty does not mean that you are. If you think for one moment that I will listen to a word you say as long as you are on his side, you are very much mistaken. You've got to sort out your priorities. It's your master, or me. And I will gladly take you back and forgive everything you've done if you'd just leave him, but you can't have both. So you had better decide right now. Him or me."

She stood with her arms crossed over her chest, emerald gaze boring into his coal black eyes. Eyes she had once known so well.

Severus stared at her for a moment with a look that would have broken Lily's heart, had she not already built up walls against him. He shook his head, opening and closing his mouth wordlessly.

Lily nodded resignedly. "I had hoped better of you, you know."

"But Lily, it's just not that easy!" he cried, blocking her way out of the room.

"The hell it's not!" Lily hissed back, thoroughly enraged now. She knew her face must be a brilliant shade of red by now, but she didn't care. This was Severus' life they were talking about, and it was bloody well worth everything she was doing. "Sirius Black walked out on his family! He's still all right. And you always hated your father anyway, and you said yourself that your mother was weak. You don't have to be what they want you to be! You can be your own person. Run away, make your own life. I'm not saying you have to fight for us, but just stop fighting against us!"

"He'd find me," Severus said weakly, looking as though he was on the verge of tears.

"Then go to Dumbledore," she reasoned. "I've told you before, he can and will protect you if you ask. He more than anyone believes in the good in people, and he'd take you back in a heartbeat."

"I just, I can't, Lily," he whispered, as a single tear ran down his long hooked nose.

Lily felt tears of her own welling up behind her eyes and quickly swallowed the lump in her throat. "Then you really have made your decision. Now I'm making mine. Goodbye, Sev."

And with that, she brushed past him and walked out the door.

- - - - - - -

Bellatrix cornered Peter on his way back from the bathroom and thrust him inside an empty compartment.

"W-what do y-you w-want?" he stuttered, cowering against the back wall.

Bella rolled her grey eyes in disgust. "No wonder your friends always seem to protect you. You're rather hopeless, you know that?"

"Th-they'll no-no-notice I'm m-missing. They'll c-come l-l-looking for me."

"And why would they do that?" Bella sneered, turning up her nose at the pathetic boy on the floor before here. "Why risk themselves to save someone as feeble and useless as you?"

A look of fear flickered across his eyes as he considered the possibility and Bella grinned wickedly. "That's right," she hissed, moving so she could speak directly into his ear. Peter flinched away, but she moved closer. "They aren't coming for you, Peter. They don't love you as much as you think."

Doubt was all she needed, and the seed had been planted nicely. So without waiting for a response, she slashed her wand through the air and knocked him out cold.

- - - - - - -

James was waiting just outside the compartment. He had heard Lily's outburst and everything the two of them had said, but he had decided to leave it up to them to work out. James had come only to make sure she was safe, and Snape did not seem like he was going to hurt her.

Lily opened the door and came into the hallway. He face was red and blotchy and her hair was slightly frizzy – she looked quite shaken. She saw James and immediately turned and walked the other way.

James watched her make her way toward the front of the train before following close behind. He had long since learned that when she was in such an angry state, it was best to let her fume in silence.

They had gone almost the entire length of the train before Lily was calm enough to speak coherently.

"Did you hear what he said about you?" was the first thing out of her mouth. She sounded sad now, rather than angry.

James nodded and pushed a stray hair behind her ear. "But don't worry about it, darling. He was just trying to pit us against each other again."

"But why?" she asked in a broken voice. "I know he doesn't like you, but that doesn't mean he should try to make us enemies."

James racked his brain, trying to come up with a way to voice his feelings that did not completely degrade Lily's former best friend in every imaginable way.

"Maybe – with all this dark stuff going on – maybe he just isn't seeing things clearly right now."

"Perhaps," Lily responded, though she did not look at all convinced. So James did the only thing he knew to do – he pulled her into what he hoped was a comforting hug.

Lily gasped quietly, but soon relaxed, leaning into him and wrapping an arm around his waist. "I didn't believe him, you know, when he told me what an awful person you were."

"Glad to hear it," James chuckled softly, rubbing the familiar path of circles on her back. "It's good to know that some things change for the better."

They pulled apart just as Alice ran headlong into the pair, knocking all three of them to the ground.

"Alice?" Lily and James asked together, taking in her bloody lip and beat up appearance. "What's going -?"

"We were just attacked by Vega and Avery and we came to make sure you were all right. We can't find Vanessa, Remus, Sirius, or Peter anywhere!" Alice flew through her explanation, but by some miracle, James understood, and judging by the expression on her face, Lily did as well.

"We have to find Bellatrix and her little group of followers," Frank told them. "I bet you anything they split up and tried to take us all out."

"Severus," Lily growled, smacking herself in the forehead.

"It looks like they may have succeeded," James said, taking both Lily and Alice's hands and starting back down the train. "Let's go."

- - - - - - -

Sirius woke in a huge, ornate parlor. Silver serpents adorned the French doors and windows, and a black leather sofa took up a large part of the room. There was a vast piano and a few dark wooded tables.

It had to be Malfoy Manor.

He was tied up on the floor, along with Remus, Vanessa, and Peter, who were all coming-to as well. Remus hushed them all for a moment and appeared to listen hard. It was not often that being a werewolf came in handy, but having acute hearing without the inconvenience of turning into a massive shaggy black dog was a nice advantage.

"There are three people around the corner," he breathed. "Bellatrix, Regulus, and one I don't know. It's a male, he doesn't sound much older than we are. Bellatrix just called him 'Boss.'"

"You don't think it could be Vo-Vol-de-de-m-mort do you?" Peter squeaked, shaking in fear.

Remus shook his head. "He's too young. But he's telling them to split us all up, so that we can't plan anything."

"Well, look," Sirius began. "I swore to Lily that I would help get Stella out of here. I guess Lily got away from whoever was supposed to take her, but listen, at the first opportunity, all of you get out, all right? I'll get Stella and meet you back at school."

This time, it was Vanessa to shake her head. "Sorry, Sirius, but we're in this together."

"We're staying," Remus agreed and Peter gave a frightened little squeal, but nodded nonetheless.

At that moment, Bellatrix entered the room. "Up," she ordered, pointing her long, crooked wand at each of them in turn.

They did as commanded and the group met Regulus in the hall. He led them through the mansion, with Bellatrix bringing up the rear. They walked down a few flights of steps before coming to a dimly lit, eerie corridor. There were multiple doors branching off on either side, and the group would stop for a moment as Bellatrix untied one of them and locked them in one of the cellars.

Sirius stumbled slightly as Bellatrix thrust him into the dark room. Catching his balance, he spun back around just as the door slammed in his face – leaving him in almost complete blackness. The air in the cellar was thick and musty; it smelled of mold and had a stale taste about it.

There was another scent in the air as well; it was faint, almost nonexistent. Sirius doubted he would have sensed it at all had it not been for the fact that he – as a dog – had learned to dissect the air around him. It was the smell of breathing, the smell of life.

"Hello?" he asked warily, and heard something shift in the far corner of the room.

"Who are you?" asked a female voice. It was hoarse, as if it had not been used in a while. "What do you want?"

She did not sound frightened, rather, cautious. As though she already knew he was going to hurt her.

"Who are _you?"_ Sirius repeated, squinting through the darkness.

"Wait. You didn't know I was here?" she asked. The girl stepped towards him and Sirius could make out her silhouette. She was far too thin – she did not appear to have eaten much recently. Her hair was matted and she seemed to be wearing some sort of sort frilly dress with nothing on her feet, which was not suitable at all in the freezing conditions of the basement.

"What happened to you?" he asked concernedly, taking his jacket off and holding it out to her.

She hesitated, but took it. "Thank you," she told him sincerely in a voice that made Sirius think that she had not been shown a great deal of kindness recently. "I… I was captured."

"Well, obviously," Sirius said lightly, trying to ease the tension in the room. "I mean what happened to you since then?"

She visibly shuddered and shook her head. Sirius, whose eyes were growing used to the darkness, was now able to make out the long blonde strands that fell into too-big brown eyes. They had a haunted look about them, that of someone who had seen far more than they needed to.

"Wait a minute," Sirius told her, hardly daring to believe his eyes. "Stella?"

She jumped. "How do you know my na –"

"Stella!" Sirius cut her off with a joyous yell. "You have no idea how great it is to see you!" He approached her, but she backed away from him, so Sirius stopped. "I'm a friend of Lily's – Lily Evans."

"Lily knows about this?" Stella asked, crewing on her bottom lip. "So that means she's a witch, doesn't it? And you must be a wizard."

"Yes," Sirius confirmed. "I'm here to save you."

Stella gave a mirthless laugh. "And how's that going for you?"

"Okay, well, maybe things could have started off a little better, but I'm here, right?"

"That you are," Stella told him and sighed. "To be honest, I'm just glad _he_ didn't send you. I thought for sure you were just another of his buddies that he wanted to share me with."

"What? Who are you talking about?" Sirius asked, furrowing his brow in confusion.

"Greg," she said softly. "Gregory Pearson."

- - - - - - -

Alice had been right, Vanessa, Remus, Sirius, and Peter were nowhere on the train. After searching each compartment, Lily was becoming incredibly worried.

"What do we do?" she asked, once they were back in their original carriage. There were evident signs of a fight inside.

"The Slytherins are gone too," James observed. "Which means that they probably took them to one of their hide-outs."

"Malfoy Manor," Lily and Alice said together.

Frank nodded. "That's the most likely place."

"But how do we get there?"

"I can Apparate," Frank went on. "And I could take all of you Side-Along, but I've never been to the Manor, so I can't get us in."

"Can you get us close?" James asked.

Frank nodded again. "I can get us to the village a little ways down the road."

"Well, let's go," Lily told them.

Alice held up her hand, telling them to wait. "Should we tell someone first?"

"No," Lily answered immediately. "I told them about Stella months ago and so far nothing. I think we should just go without worrying about anyone trying to stop us."

"I agree," James said. "Let's get a move on before it's too late."

They all joined hands and held on tight as Frank spun them into a crushing world of color and light.

- - - - - - -

Sirius was thoroughly surprised that he did not feel his jaw hit the ground.

"Lily's old boyfriend?" he asked in disbelief.

"If you could ever really have called him that," Stella remarked, a disgusted note in her voice. She began pacing back and forth across the cellar, though Sirius did not know if it was to help her think, or merely to keep her warm. He could not help but notice she walked with a slight limp.

"He's a wizard then?"

Stella nodded. "I've known ever since I was dating him. I don't think he ever expected us to break up, but when I dumped him, he was furious, so he went and found Lily. I don't know if he knew about her or not at that point, but he does now."

"But what did he want with you?"

At this point, she stopped pacing and Sirius could see her pulling the jacket more tightly around her thin frame. "He… I, I mean."

It was not that hard to figure it out. Especially after the comment she had made earlier about thinking Pearson had wanted to share her.

"He didn't," Sirius growled. _What an ass, how could anyone do that to her?_

"He did," Stella answered in a small voice. "But it doesn't matter, it's happened, there's nothing anyone can do."

"We can make him pay."

"But that's the problem!" Stella told him, pacing again. "Everyone is so caught up in how they can get revenge on someone that they forget to try to prevent the bad things from happening in the first place."

Sirius just watched her for a moment as he began to be able to make out more distinct features. Her face was hollow, though she must have been very pretty once, now her eyes had a sunken look about them, though they still seemed to burn from the inside out. Her bottom lip was plump, while the top was thin in comparison. She looked rather worse for wear, not that it was unexpected after living in a cellar for who knows how long.

"You're right," Sirius told her, though he was amazed by what she had said. "But you should want revenge more than anyone, and you deserve it. How can you be so…"

"I don't really know," she said with a shrug. "I guess after a while I figured out that being angry won't get me anywhere, so happiness and optimism are the best options."

"Happiness here?" he asked in disbelief, rubbing his hands together to warm them up.

"Crazy, I know," she answered, giving him a small smile through cracked lips. "But something else I learned is that if you try hard enough, you can make the best of any situation."

"Well, you most definitely made the best of my situation. You have no idea how happy I am to see you!" Sirius told her again, grinning widely. "I promised Lily I would help her get you out, and by some twist of fate, here we are!"

"And how do you plan on getting out?" Stella asked. "That's the only door, and it's always locked. I'm assuming you don't have your wand, which means we'd have a hard time taking them in a fight."

"Hey, now, what happened to that positive attitude?" Sirius teased, putting a finger under her chin and lifting it slightly. "Keep looking up; it'll all work out somehow."

She flinched slightly at his touch, which was to be expected, but she did not pull away. Sirius smiled down at her, thinking that maybe she was as strong as Lily had made her out to be.

- - - - - - -

They four of them spun to a stop and had to grab onto each other to keep from falling.

"Ugh, that was awful," Lily groaned, and the others nodded in agreement. They soon straightened up and looked around the village they had landed in.

It was a creepy little town with odd shops selling things Lily had never heard of before. Many stores had boarded up windows and peeling paint – quite a fitting environment for scum like Lucius Malfoy.

"Come on," Frank said as he began walking away from the dimly lit shops. "The manor is just over that hill."

They took off running, trying to get there as soon as possible. The hill was steep, but they climbed it quickly and were met with a magnificent sight.

Lily had never seen a house that big before. It had to be five stories high, and it seemed to go underground as well. It was beautiful, with a sweeping front lawn roamed by white peacocks and an ornately decorated exterior.

"Any ideas on how we can get inside?" she asked, looking around at the others.

"Well, I'm assuming the house elves would live in the bottom floor, but they would need a way to get outside as well," James answered, studying the house intently. "There should be an entrance around back."

"But what if the elves see us?" Alice asked him.

"I have my invisibility cloak," he explained, pulling a silvery looking thing from inside his jacket. "It works on house elves where Disillusionment charms don't. Two of us could sneak in under it and cause a distraction so the others can run inside."

"Lily and Alice should go first with the cloak," Frank stated immediately. "I don't want there to be any chance of them being seen."

James nodded in agreement, handing the watery-like material to Lily. "Just go to the other side and drop some pans or something and then get out of the way. Frank and I will come in even if it doesn't work. We can stun them if we have to."

Lily and Alice nodded, looking at each other and taking a deep, determined breath.

"Be careful, all right?" James asked her softly, pulling her away from Alice and Frank.

Lily rolled her eyes, trying to look brave. "You know I can take care of myself."

James smiled weakly. "I know, but please, I just…"

"Lily, let's go," Alice called, taking Lily by the hand. The redhead gave James a wink before throwing the cloak over Alice and herself.

The two girls walked hand-in-hand down the other side of the hill, trying to find courage in each other. They had no idea what exactly they were going into, but at least they had each other. Upon reaching the gate, they were please to find that they were thin enough to simply slip between the bars, while the boys – who were following close behind – had to levitate each other over the high wall.

Once inside, Lily could almost feel the magic buzzing in the air and hoped desperately that there was no alarm system. Then again, this was not the Muggle world, and the Malfoy family was surely far too arrogant to worry about such things.

She and Alice walked quickly across the sweeping lawn – feeling exposed even while under the cloak – and made their way around the back of the manor.

"James was right," Alice said softly, pointing to a set of steps that led downward to a rusty metal door. "You'd think in a family like this, they could afford a nicer entrance."

Lily shook her head. "This is the Malfoy family we're talking about; I don't expect them to treat house elves with any kind of respect.

"At least it should be easy for us to get in," Alice commented as they tiptoed down the concrete stairs. "_Alohomora_."

To their surprise and delight, there was a faint click from the inside and they were able to push the creaky door open. Inside, they found about eight house elves, all dressed incredibly shabby – even for their species – slaving in what looked to be a kitchen and a laundry room.

Lily was hit by a hot wave of anger at the site. How could people be so cruel? The elves were sweating and some of them were clearly injured, and yet they continued to work.

"I know," Alice whispered, looking around at the conditions in disgust. "But there's nothing we can do for them right now. We have to get Frank and James inside."

Lily nodded and led the way across the room, where a large tub of water and laundry sat unattended. She pointed her wand at it and muttered "_Superfluo_."

The water slowly began to rise and seep over the top of the bin, flooding the corner that it sat in. As the elves took notice, they all began to crowd around it, trying to stop the water from reaching the rest of the room. At that moment, James and Frank streaked inside and ran headlong up the stairs on the far end of the room, miraculously without being seen. The girls joined them and quickly placed a Disillusionment charm upon them before cautiously opening the door that led to the rest of the house.

- - - - - - -

Sirius and Stella were pacing back and forth around the dark, cramped room. Both were trying to stay warm, trying to keep their minds off the raindrops that had frozen in their tracks on the wall.

"James and Lily will be here soon," Sirius reassured her, running in place for a moment as he tried to regain circulation in his legs.

"I believe you," she answered, hugging the jacket he had given her tight around her emaciated frame. "But how do we know when they're here? Or if they even get in?"

Sirius grinned. "This is my best mate we're talking about. He loves making an entrance is sure to raise hell when he arrives."

"Though I assume Lily will attempt to keep him in check?" Stella asked, giving a hoarse laugh.

"Right you are," he responded, and then looked down at her bare feet, which had to be freezing cold. "If you don't mind me asking, what are you wearing?"

Stella snorted in disgust, and pulled the jacket back to show him her outfit of lingerie. "Greg thought it was a nice touch."

"_And he left you in it?"_ Sirius yelled, thoroughly angry with this Pearson fellow, then growled, "What an asshole! What a selfish, good for nothing, son-of-bitch."

"Yes, I have quite exquisite taste in men," Stella agreed, rolling her eyes. "I'm just glad he never got the chance to do anything this awful to Lily."

"I can't believe he would leave you in here like that though! Does he want you to die?"

Stella shrugged. "If he does, I can't say I would be surprised."

"What an idiot," he hissed. Sirius didn't care what Stella said, he was going to make Pearson pay. "Damn, it's cold in here, if only –" Sirius stopped mid-sentence and smacked himself in the forehead. "How _stupid_ am I?"

The blonde, only a few inches shorter than he, looked up at him in confusion.

"Listen, I'm going to do something to make us warmer, all right? But you have to swear to me that you won't freak out."

She gave a humorless laugh. "After everything I've seen recently, I doubt anything could freak me out."

"You'd be surprised," he told her, winking and running a hand through his hair. "But what I'm about to show you, well, not many people know, so don't tell anyone."

Stella nodded and Sirius took a step back. He concentrated on Padfoot with all his might and warmed up considerably as the long, shaggy first erupted on his skin. He opened his eyes and looked up at Stella, who looked startled, but not really surprised. Sirius trotted over to her and curled up at her feet, making a motion with his head for her to sit. Stella hesitated, but did as he asked, seeming more comfortable around Padfoot than she did when he got this close as a person – not that he could blame her.

"Well, I have to say that's a first," she joked weakly as he rubbed his large head on her arm, trying to warm her up as best her could. She began to scratch him absently behind the ear and Sirius almost purred in contentment. "I have to admit, I never really expected to be rescued, but if ever I did, it certainly wasn't quite like this."

Sirius cocked his head to the side, trying to convey his question without words. She seemed to get the message, for she continued. "Well, I mean, Alastor Moody's here too, so I guess I thought some of his men would come, but I never imagined that a group of people my age would do this, especially people I don't even know. Oh, don't roll your eyes at me," she laughed, this time it sounded a bit less strained. "I appreciate it, I mean, I can't even tell you how grateful I am, it's just different…"

Sirius gave her a look.

"Yeah, I know. Everything had been different recently. I suppose this should seem normal by now, right?"

He gave her a toothy grin and nodded, causing her to laugh again. "It feels so good! To laugh, I mean," she explained when she saw his confused expression. "Nothing worth laughing over has happened to me in a while. It's great to be able to again."

Sirius shrugged, trying to give her a modest look and she snorted at him, rolling her eyes. "You know, I think I might like you better as a dog."

He did his best hurt expression and then gave her his infamous puppy dog eyes.

"Okay, I _definitely_ like you better this way," she confirmed with another laugh, this one coming through like wind chimes. "That is the cutest thing I've ever seen."

Sirius rolled his eyes and licked her face, then gave her a triumphant grin.

"You know," she said slyly, wiping the drool from her cheek. "I hear that biting a dog in the ear is the best way to train them. Shall we try it?"

Sirius shook his head vigorously and then laid it down in her lap, whimpering as if to tell her he was sorry.

"Oh I'm sure you are," she snickered, going back to scratching his ears. She sighed contentedly. "It's nice to have company that isn't trying to blast you apart or get you in bed for once."

Sirius winked up at her, nuzzling her cheek. "Thank you, by the way," she said softly. "For everything."

- - - - - - -

Alice led the way into what appeared to be a magnificent entrance hall. The floor and grand staircase were made of black marble so polished that the four young witches and wizards would have seen able to see their reflections were they not invisible. Alice had been to the Black house before, and the Malfoys seemed to have better taste in wall décor. Instead of the preserved heads of past house elves, there were portraits of prominent members of the family. So maybe they didn't have _great_ taste, but it was better.

She could feel Frank's hand on her shoulder, enabling him to stick close to her even though they could not see each other, and she found strength in that. She took a deep breath and made her way to the middle of the room, trying to figure out where they Death Eaters might have taken Stella and their friends.

"Up or down?" she breathed when she spotted a descending staircase of almost equal grandeur.

She could not see the expressions on the boys' faces, but Alice imagined they were similar to the one on Lily's – who looked as though she was trying to think like a Malfoy.

"Down, definitely," James responded first. "I would bet my broomstick on it."

Alice looked at Lily, who nodded in determination. They began walking towards the second set of stairs when footsteps coming up them froze the Gryffindors in their tracks.

"The Dark Lord will arrive shortly," Bellatrix hissed, though she almost cooed her master's name. She came into view with Regulus, Sirius' younger brother. "I'm sure he will reward us for our efforts."

A wicked grin spread across the face of the youngest Black. "And my family will finally have our revenge on my blood traitor brother."

Alice and the others pressed themselves against the wall as the two Slytherins passed by, and they gave a collective sigh of relief once they were out of sight.

"Okay," Lily said, leading the way. "Let's do this."

- - - - - - -

Three floors above, Constance Malfoy sat at the elaborately decorated vanity situated in the corner of her relatively new bedroom. She and her mother had moved in with Trisha Malfoy's brother and his family when Malfoy Manor became the headquarters of Voldemort's closest followers.

She leaned in towards the large mirror and carefully applied cream to the hand print-shaped bruise blossoming across her swollen left cheek. Upon returning home, she had gone straight to her mother, hoping for advice and guidance to keep her from questioning herself, but all she had received was a slap and a disgusted look. She had heard her mother mutter something about a "true Malfoy never doubts" before Constance fled from the room.

Sometimes it did not seem fair that the cruelest people rose in the ranks while the kind-hearted ones – such as those currently locked in the cellar – were the ones doomed to die. Gregory Pearson, who was not unlike the vile Duncan Perry, was currently seated at the Dark Lord's right hand. Stella Redwood, however, who never did anything wrong, would probably be dead before morning.

And now some of Lily's friends were trapped as well – Lily who had saved her from a life shattering experience, who was kind to her even after years of Constance's teasing. Was that really right? Was that really how things were meant to happen?

She heaved a sigh and glared at her reflection. Did it matter what was right? Family should be the thing that mattered, shouldn't it? But doing the right thing was the reason Lily and James had saved her from Perry, while family had caused the mark across her face.

Constance closed her eyes and took a deep breath before getting to her feet. She knew she was not brave or loyal or heroic, but she also knew what she had to do.

* * *

**Mwahahahahaha. Cliffhangers! You know you love me. XD**

**And for those of you who don't know about it, I did post another story, **_**The Trouble With Werewolves**_**, which has the essays that I did not post in the last chapter. Please check it out! (:**

**And while I am advertising, there are a few other stories I want to suggest to you! Here they are:**

_**Because We Lived, **_**by**_** Sarahdbaugh**_

_**Unforgettable, **_**by **_**pinkpearl89**_

_**Summer With Potter, **_**by **_**xExpectoxPatronumx**_

_**Why Do I Love You?, **_**by**_** –the smell of autumn-**_

_**Trial By Fire, **_**by**_** SnarkySidekick**_

_**The Becoming of Lily and James Potter, **_**by**_** mattibff**_

_**Falling Stars and Broken Hearts, **_**by**_** Roses en Fleur **_

**They are all Lily and James. XD**

**And if any of you have a story to suggest to me, feel free. (:**

**But first, PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_It's not always easy to distinguish the good guys from the bad guys. Sinners can surprise you, and the same is true for saints. Why do we define people as simply good or evil? Because no one wants to admit that compassion and cruelty can live side-by-side in one heart, and that anyone is capable of anything._


	34. Redefining Heroism

**Here it is! The end of the rescue! Girls, grab your tissues.**

**Again, you are the greatest reviewers in the entire world, siriusly. (: SO THANK YOU: **_**Silver Scorpion, mica259, SecretlyAGryffindor, Sarahrules336, MssrsMWPP, MaxRideRox, -the smell of autumn-, Kmonae, Super Cara, ivyflightislistening, RaindropsOnTheRooftop, Hannahble, pinkpearl89, xXAMBERXx, ashl3yj0nas43v3r, hpdreamer500, mattibff, aliceinwonderland2000, **_**and**_** Rider Arya Svit-kona**_**! I LOVE YOU GUYS! (:**

**And I would like to dedicate this chapter to **_**pinkpearl89, ivyflightislistening, SecretlyAGryffindor, MaxRideRox, Kmonae, -the smell of autumn-, **_**and **_**RaindropsOnTheRooftop**_**, whose reviews I always look forward to most. (:**

**Disclaimer: JKR owns everything. *sigh***

_It's better to be good than evil, but one achieves goodness at a terrific cost._

**Chapter Thirty-Four: Redefining Heroism**

Drip… drip… drip…

The steady trickle of water – once commonplace in the cellar – caused Stella's head to snap up in surprise. She looked to the back corner of the room, where rainwater had entered when it had been warmer, but the clear droplets still clung, frozen, to the stone wall. Sirius raised his own furry head and his nodded in the opposite direction, so the two of them got up and made their way cautiously over.

Stella squinted up at the ceiling, where indeed, more water was leaking through with each passing moment. The drips became streams and puddles had already begun to form around her bare feet.

"What on earth?" she muttered, brown eyes scanning the stones to find where the water might be coming from.

Sirius suddenly morphed back into himself, and rather than looking worried, a mischievous grin spread across his face.

"Prongs."

- - - - - - -

Constance grabbed a hair-tie from box shaped like a snakehead that sat on the vanity and pulled her long, platinum blonde hair up into a ponytail. She tugged her dragon skin jacket on over her t-shirt and stepped into an old pair of jeans before taking a cloth and wiping the thick cream from her face. The hand-shaped bruise was still there, acting as a reminder that sometimes, family only loves you when you're loyal. A few months ago, she would have regarded the mark as a hideous disfigurement, but now, knowing what she was about to do, she could almost wear it proudly.

Snape was still on guard duty, and Constance could hear him walking back and forth impatiently in front of her room, so she instead opened the French doors on the back wall as quietly as she could and stepped out onto the snowy balcony. The young witch gulped slightly as she peered over the edge; her bedroom was three stories up and there was no way she could summon a broomstick and fly down – she would fall before she even took off.

Judging the distance, she pulled out her wand and conjured a thick rope, which she tied to the bedpost and dangled the rest over the railing. She cast a lightening charm on herself that her mother had taught her for dancing and looped the rope around her waist. Taking a deep but shaky breath, she very carefully began to lower herself down the side of the Manor.

"You can do this, Constance," she told herself bracingly, her breath coming in foggy wisps in the cold winter air. "Just don't look down, come on."

Her own words meant little though, for even with them, she was terrified of falling. The only thing that kept her inching downwards was the fact that – though she was now considerably lighter – she was not strong enough to climb back up.

As she continued, she felt tiny beads of sweat forming at her hairline, and silently cursed her lack of exercise. If her family saw her indoors with sweaty hair, they would know for certain she was up to something.

"Okay, Constance, you're almost there," she whispered, muscles straining now.

She had almost reached a height from which she would have been comfortable jumping when her sweaty hands slipped and she fell hard on her back. With a groan of pain, she dragged herself to her feet and brushed the snow off as best she could, muttering, "Heroism is highly overrated."

She massaged her back and made her way around the house until she reached the door that led to the elves' quarters, but even from yards away, she could tell something was wrong. Constance took off at a run when she heard the high-pitched squeals of terror and yanked the rusty metal door open to find all of them in a panic. And the provocation was quite obvious – she was still on the steps that descended to the kitchen, but even a few feet up she was ankle-deep in water.

"What happened?" Constance cried over their various wails as they attempted to salvage dinner.

"We are not sure, Miss," piped up one of the youngest, huge eyes even wider in fright. He was floating on what appeared to be a trash can lid, using a large wooden ladle as a paddle. "Dobby was cooking, Miss, and then he looked over and the laundry water just began to overflow, Miss. Dobby tried everything, Miss, he did, but nothing worked. Dobby would have shut his hands in the oven, Miss, but it is under water."

"Relax," she told him, and he did automatically. Constance waded over to where most of the elves were congregating – all floating on various appliances. Clothing still floated above the wash bin, which seemed to be creating water out of nowhere. In the corner behind the bin, a great deal of bubbles broke the surface, though Constance had no idea what could be creating them. She took out her wand and tried every spell she knew, but to no avail. She tried to vanish the water, transfigure it, transport it, and anything else she could think of, but nothing she did had any effect whatsoever.

Constance rubbed her temples in frustration before turning back to the frantic house elves. "Get out, all of you. There's nothing you can do," she ordered. "Go out the back and around to the main entrance and see if you can find Lucius or Mr. Malfoy, they may be able to help. But, by no means tell them I was here."

"Yes, Miss Malfoy," the chorused before bowing awkwardly on their flotation devices and paddling towards the still-open door.

Constance turned the other way to take the steps that led directly to the entrance hall.

- - - - - - -

"Sirius?" Stella asked, the high-pitched tone in her voice betraying the fear she was beginning to feel. "Do you think they'll be here soon?"

The pair of them were now knee-deep in murky water, and it kept coming faster, practically pouring down the wall. The room was large enough that there was space enough for it to spread, but the level was rising much too fast for comfort.

He nodded, black hair falling messily into his grey eyes. "'Course they will be, don't worry."

Stella could not help but notice the confidence slowly ebbing from his voice.

- - - - - - -

As Lily, Alice, James, and Frank made their way silently through the dimly lit corridors below Malfoy Manor, they heard more voices floating towards them from around the next corner. Lily turned to her best friend and put a finger to her lips. Alice only rolled her eyes and gave Lily a look that clearly said, "No, really? I was thinking of singing 'God Save the Queen.'"

Lily stuck her tongue out before feeling the air in front of her for James. When she found him, and once Alice had Frank, they steered the boys toward to voices – hoping to gain some information as to where they might find their captured friends.

Even though they were either Disillusioned or under the cloak, the four Gryffindors stopped at the corner, hiding behind the stone wall. They could not see who was speaking, but the shadows cast by the torches on the walls showed there were only two men.

"He's on his way," said the first, and Lily recognized the voice as belonging to Lucius Malfoy.

"Good," replied the second. His voice was oddly familiar to Lily, though she could not identify it. "He will be please to find that the blood traitors he asked for are locked in the cellar. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to have a quick nap before he arrives."

The men came around the corner and Lily's eyes very nearly jumped from her skull, for walking with Lucius was none other than Gregory Pearson. She felt Alice's hand slap around her mouth to stifle the gasp that almost escaped her throat and then turned to stare at the petite blonde witch in horror.

Alice was mouthing wordlessly, unable to form whatever words she wished to speak. Lily, on the other hand, knew exactly what she wanted to say. She wanted to scream out every swear word she'd ever heard and hex the bastard into oblivion. Luckily, years dealing with James had taught her to control her temper when she had to, and so she settled for clenching her fists so tightly her nails drew blood on her palms.

"What the hell is he doing here?" she whispered to Alice, who seemed to have finally regained her voice.

"I don't know. How could he be a wizard? After all that time…"

"What are you talking about?" James said nearby.

Alice opened her mouth to answer, but Lily shot her a warning look. If James found out who that had been, well, Lily did not want to think about what he would do.

"He – I mean, nothing," Alice stuttered, correcting herself. "Let's just, let's just find the others."

Lily could imagine the unconvinced look on James' face, but grabbed him through the cloak and began walking further down the hall, Alice and Frank hurrying to keep up.

They descended final set of stairs and entered a long hallway with many doors branching off on either side.

"You two go to the right, Alice and I will try the ones on the left," Lily told James and Frank. "Just do whatever you can to get the doors open, but keep it quiet."

"Right," they answered together and Lily felt the air stir slightly as they crossed the hall.

She then grabbed Alice's hand and dragged her over to the nearest door. By now, the tiny witch was absolutely fuming.

"I'll kill him," she hissed as Lily began to study the lock. If they had not been trapped under the cloak, Lily knew her friend would be pacing furiously. "That good for nothing, son-of-a-bitch! Fitting, isn't it, that he's on Voldemort's side?"

"Alice, focus please, that isn't what's important right now," Lily told her, though she herself was bubbling with suppressed anger.

Alice shook her head to clear it and turned to the door, setting to work immediately with every unlocking charm she'd ever learned. She became visibly frustrated as nothing would make it budge. The boy seemed to be having a similar problem, for the door across the hall remained firmly shut and every now and then, aggravated sighs could be heard from their direction.

"Okay," Lily said, stepping back and tapping her chin as she thought. "Maybe instead of trying spells on the lock itself, we should try to create a key that will fit it."

Alice's downcast face brightened at the suggestion, and James and Frank whispered an agreement back at the girls. Alice quickly found a loose stone in the wall and pried it out so they could transfigure it.

- - - - - - -

The water had risen to their waists in a matter of moments, and even Sirius was growing worried. Stella did not look strong enough to be able to tread for very long if it came to that, but he did not think she would allow him to help her either, at least not as himself, perhaps as Padfoot, but could he hold her? He took a quick glance around the room, but there was nothing the two of them could stand on.

"You really think James knows what he's doing?" Stella asked, putting her ear to the door to see if she could hear anyone coming.

Sirius nodded stubbornly. "He'll get us out no matter what. Both of them will. Believe me, they're both too stubborn not to."

He only hoped they would get there soon, for the water was still creeping higher.

- - - - - - -

Before entering the house, Constance cast a quick drying charm over her clothes and then hurried inside, ignoring the pain still throbbing in her back. Taking a quick glance around to ensure she was alone, she took the stairs two at a time – something she had never done before as it was "atrociously unladylike," as her mother would say. When she reached the second floor, Constance crept to the first room on the right and pressed her ear to the keyhole to determine if anyone was inside. Hearing nothing, she slowly turned the brass handle and slipped inside.

She knew immediately that it had been a mistake.

Gregory Pearson, current occupier of the room in question, was asleep on the king-size bed that sat in the center. His soft snores seemed amplified in Constance's sudden fright. The hangings had not been drawn and she could make out his form clearly in the faint light seeping through the curtains on the windows.

She almost turned around right then and forgot about the whole thing, but she had already come so far. Would she hate herself later when she watched the very people she attempted to save tortured and murdered? Would she be able to live with herself knowing she could have done something?

And besides, weren't Slytherins supposed to be ambitious and achievement-oriented? Technically, giving up would go against that side of her as well. She'd gotten this far. It would be shameful to give up now.

She took another deep breath – this one steadier than the first – and tiptoed across the room to the ornately carved green and silver desk that sat to the right of the bed. Constance knew that Greg kept the keys to the cellar in one of the drawers, for she had heard him telling Lucius where he might find them, but she went through almost all of them and found nothing. She crossed her fingers and tugged on the last serpentine handle only to find it locked. She looked around wildly in search of the matching key, and upon finding it, she would very much liked to have sworn. Years, however, of being drilled in etiquette caused her to refrain.

But it was just her luck that the key she needed happened to be tied about the neck of the man sleeping just yards away.

Constance took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and steeled her resolve before approaching the bed.

"_Accio key_?" she asked, pointing her wand at the spot where it lay on his bare chest. It wiggled, but did not come any nearer. Constance groaned softly in frustration and rolled up her sleeves. Ever so gently, she hoisted herself up onto the bed and pretended to be a feather as she crawled towards him.

When she was close enough, Constance reached around his neck and carefully began to untie the string that held the key, when suddenly, she was beneath him. Gregory Pearson was wide awake and had her wrists pinned helplessly to the bed.

"Oh, it's you," he smirked, eyebrow raised seductively upon recognizing her.

Constance wanted to vomit, but in her current situation, she decided it would be far easier just to play along, so she put on her own alluring face and smiled up at him, puffing out her chest in the way her mother had showed her to.

"And what are you doing here, pretty?"

She bit her bottom lip to plump it up before she answered. "Oh, I've heard quite a bit about the dreadfully gorgeous Gregory Pearson. I suppose I wanted to see for myself if you're all you're made out to be."

Thank God her mother taught her something.

He took one hand from her wrist and slid it down to her waist, squeezing tightly, and Constance gave him a soft moan.

"What are you waiting for?" she asked, disgusted with herself as she stroked his chin and pretended to eye his mouth.

"No idea," he replied, before attacking her lips with his.

Constance raked her hand down his broad chest before bringing it up to rest at the base of his neck, where she began to fiddle with the knot on the string. Greg, clearly through with any act of being a gentleman, immediately trust his hands up her shirt and her bra was gone before she knew what was happening.

Constance gave a false giggle and brought her other hand down to his belt, hoping to make her intentions clear. It was all Greg needed to pull the shirt straight over her head and begin to fumble with the bottom on her jeans.

That was when the knot finally came undone.

"What are you –?" he began, panting as he pulled away. He saw the key in her hands and comprehension dawned on his handsome face.

Before he had time to move, Constance yanked her wand out of her back pocket and yelled "_Stupefy!"_

Greg was knocked out and fell on top of her, causing Constance to groan in frustration. She had hoped to tell him her mother wanted her and slip away, leaving him none the wiser. Now she could only pray that no one noticed his absence for a while.

She rolled him off her and slip off the bed, hastily re-doing her bra. Then, she pulled her shirt back on before pocketing her wand as she shoved the key into the final desk drawer. She tugged it open and found the key she had been looking for all along and pocketed it as well before rushed back to the door.

The hallway was deserted – she imagined most of the Death Eaters were in the drawing room, preparing for the Dark Lord's arrival. For the first time in her life, Constance was honestly grateful to her family's master – if only because he kept them occupied.

She ran back down the stairs and flew down to the cellar, wishing that whatever luck she lived by was able to last.

- - - - - - -

It took every Transfiguration spells James had ever learned (and a few things he had made up on the spot) to turn that blasted rock into a rough copy of the key that fit the cellar locks. He inserted it into the first door and could feel rather than see the others watching with baited breath. He had to force, wiggle, and alter it a good deal before the happy sound of a _click_ reached their ears.

They threw the door open in excitement, but found the room to be empty.

James groaned in frustration and slammed his fist into the wall, which he regretted immediately as pain shot up his arm.

"There must be thirty doors down here," Alice said quietly, and he could hear the hope fading from her voice.

"We can do this," Lily reassured the petite blonde, her determination was almost tangible. "James, try the next one. Come on, we'll open all of them if we have too."

He nodded, even though no one could see it, and crossed the hall. It took a few more moments, but he managed to get the door open. This room too was empty.

James took a deep breath and continued down the long, dimly lit corridor. He friends' lives were at stake here. There was no chance in hell he was giving up.

- - - - - - -

Sirius was surprised. Stella was actually able to hold her own when the water became too high for them to stand. Though she looked frail, she seemed to have some reserve of strength that kept her going, and miraculously, kept her sense of humor intact.

"I swear if Lily and James don't get here I will strangle them," she muttered mutinously, spitting a mouthful of dirty water from her mouth.

Sirius chuckled. "I can't say I disagree. But it's all right. I reckon they've got, oh, eight minutes or so before the room is full?"

"That sounds about accurate," Stella confirmed matter-of-factly, tossing long, wet hair from her eyes. "Let's just hope they don't take their time."

- - - - - - -

When Constance entered the corridor that led to the cellar, she heard a faint muttering coming from about four doors down.

"Who's there?" she called, and the voices immediately became silent. Constance had a good idea who it had to be, after all, who else would feel the need to be invisible? "Lily?" she asked, approaching where she thought they were. "James? It's okay, I'm trying to help you."

No response.

"I have the key here," she pulled it from her pocket and held it up. "And you're in the wrong spot. You take a left up at the end of this hallway and start at the third door on the right. Reese – Vanessa – should be there."

She waited a moment, hoping they would show themselves. When they did not, she heaved a frustrated sigh. "Well, I'm going to get them out. I've changed my mind about some of this stuff; I don't care if you don't believe me. But you haven't got much time. The Dark Lord, I mean, V-Voldemort, should be here any minute. So you can come with me and save your friends, or wait here to be murdered. Your choice."

With that, she walked down the long hallway and took a left, without looking back to see if they followed.

- - - - - - -

After Constance had disappeared around the corner, Lily looked at Alice, who was staring back at her.

"Well," came Frank's voice somewhere to their right. "That was unexpected."

"Yeah," Alice agreed. "Do you think we should follow –"

"Yes," James' answer was immediate. "Did you get a good look at her? I've never seen that girl sweat in her life. Clearly something is happening."

Lily rolled her eyes. "So you are willing to trust your life to someone because of some _sweat?"_

"It's not just that," he whispered back. "She never got that Potion from Madam Pomfrey – she remembered everything we did for her that night. I imagine she wants to repay the favor."

Lily was the first to agree. She nodded at Alice and addressed James. "I think you're right, let's hurry though. If Voldemort is coming, we don't want to get caught in the middle of it."

- - - - - - -

"_Shit_," Stella moaned, and Sirius grinned slightly at her choice of words. "What are we going to do?"

For indeed, there was but a foot space between the rising water and the stone ceiling, giving the two of them very little breathing space.

"Should we yell for someone?" he asked, pondering the question himself. "I'm trying to decide if it would help or hurt us."

"Well, if Lily and James _are _close, then yelling would only bring the Death Eaters near them," Stella reasoned, panting a bit at the effort to keep her head above water. Sirius would have helped her, but she backed away whenever he came too close. "And if they never got here, then I imagine the Death Eaters wouldn't mind letting us drown."

"Come on, Prongs," Sirius muttered, staring at the door as if willing James to appear on the other side. _"Get here."_

- - - - - - -

Constance opened the door and flinched as it gave a loud creak.

"What do you want, Malfoy?" Vanessa Reese spat, shielding her eyes from the light now flooding the room.

Constance had to suppress an insult. "I'm saving you," she hissed instead, noting with pleasure the look of shock that crossed the other girl's face. "So get up and come on already."

Vanessa gave her a wary glare, but stood nonetheless. Just as she reached the door, four people appeared out of nowhere at Constance's side, and Vanessa's face lit up tremendously at the sight.

"Lily! Alice!" she exclaimed in a whisper, hugging both of them. "James, Frank! What happened to all of you?"

"We'll explain later," Lily answered, looking relieved to find her friend unharmed. "We've got to get the others and get out."

"Why is she helping?" Vanessa asked, jerking her head at Constance, who was hit by a wave of anger.

"Do you have to ask?" she said through gritted teeth. "A simple 'thank you' would suffice."

At least Vanessa had the sense to look embarrassed. "I'm sorry," she murmured. "Thank you, honestl-"

"Save it," Constance told her, thrusting the key into the next door.

"Remus!" Vanessa breathed, rushing into the room and throwing her arms around him.

"Vanessa?" he asked, searching each face. His gaze fell upon Constance.

"It's a rescue," she informed him, rolling her eyes. "Now get moving or we're all going to be caught!"

Remus had the tact to keep quiet about her sudden change of heart, and Constance inwardly thanked him. She was questioning herself enough without others doing it for her.

"Moody should be in this one," Constance informed them, turning the next handle. She gave a small yelp as something flew out of the room and pinned to the opposite wall.

"Moody!" James exclaimed. "Let her go, she's on our side."

He growled, but did not move. "How did I know you're the real Potter?"

Constance could see the muscle in James' jaw working furiously.

"The first time we met was at Lily's house. You blasted us away from the door and yelled 'CONSTANT VIGILANCE.' Does that satisfy you?"

Moody grunted and released her. _Great,_ Constance thought, rubbing her wrists as she led the way to the next door. _More bruises._

"Pettigrew's next," she whispered, opening it more slowly this time, though he did not expect Peter to attack her. The tiny, rodent-like boy stared at all of them in wonder before hurdling himself at his friends.

"Moony, Prongs!" he exclaimed, sobbing into James' shirt. "I was so worried you we're coming!"

"Shh," James hushed him, but grinned. "Don't wet yourself, Wormtail, of course we came. Now come on, we have to find Sirius and Stella."

- - - - - - -

They had stopped talking all together and focused on gasping for air in the few inches left above their heads. Stella's muscles ached as they had after she had been tortured – no doubt that had weakened her considerably – and it was almost impossible to simply keep breathing. Their chances were looking bleak when Sirius' head snapped toward the door; Stella flinched subconsciously.

"Did you hear that?" he asked, angling his head in a dog-like manner to be able to listen more closely.

"No," Stella told him. She took a rasping breath before she went on. "I don't think they're coming, Sirius."

Sirius looked as though he was about to argue, so Stella opened her mouth to cut him off, but only ended up swallowing a particularly mucky mouthful of water. She began coughing so violently that her head sunk beneath the surface, causing her to inhale more of the water. It burned her lungs and she thought she was done for when a strong arm lifted her back up.

She was too busy heaving the water out that she failed to noticed how close the two of them were, but as soon as she regained her composure, she jumped away.

"Er, sorry," she told him, feeling a blush creep over her cheeks.

He held up a finger and appeared to be listening hard. "It's him! It's them!" he exclaimed suddenly, paddling over to the door. "I can hear them, they're right outside. _Prongs!"_

- - - - - - -

"Prongs!"

"Padfoot?" James asked, turning to the door directly behind him. "Sirius, is that you?"

"Of course it's me you idiot," came his best friend's muffled voice through the thick wooden door. "Now get us out now!"

"All right, all right, calm down," James told him, nodded at Constance.

"I will calm down only if I do not drown!" Sirius replied. "I suggest whoever is out there take a good step back before you open the door."

Lily, Alice, Frank, and Constance all looked confused, but did as he said. James took the key and pushed it into the lock. It turned, but with difficulty and the door burst open, flooding the hall with gallons upon gallons of water.

They all managed to contain screams – not that it mattered, the water was making enough noise as it was. The entire rescue party was pushed backwards down the hall a ways, but they came to a stop eventually and pulled each other to their feet.

Soon enough, Sirius came into view along with a girl James could only assume was Stella Redwood. She was pale and weak looking, but wonderfully alive.

"Prongs!" Sirius yelled again, springing at James and attacking him with a ferocious hug. "Lily-flower!" He got her next, and continued down the line.

"Constance?" he asked when he reached her. "What are you doing here? You're the reason I was thrown in there in the first place!"

James jumped to the girl's defense. "It doesn't matter right now, mate. What happened to you? Where did all the water – OH! Whoops, I think that was us, sorry, Pad."

Sirius laughed his bark-like laugh and grinned at James, Remus, and Peter. "I figured, Prongs. Only you would make that sort of entrance."

- - - - - - -

Stella pulled herself to her feet and looked around at the others. Sure enough, there was a girl with dripping red hair offering her hand to her petite blonde friend.

"Lily?" she asked, still amazed at what a small world it really was.

"Stella?" Lily gasped, excitement and disbelief evident on her face. "Is that really you?"

Stella nodded, a smile finding its way onto her face as she rushed over to Lily and through her thin arms around her neck. "You came!"

"Of course I did!" Lily answered, hugging her back as a relieved laugh escaped her throat.

"But –" Stella began, when she was cut off by a girl with the same coloring as Lucius Malfoy.

"Sorry to break up this little reunion, but they had to have heard the water," she told them, glancing frantically up the stairs. "We have to get you out of here."

- - - - - - -

Constance knew they hardly had moments before it would be too late to save them without a fight, which she had desperately hoped to avoid. On top of that, the Dark Lord was very near. She did not know how she knew it, but it seemed as if there was a chilling sensation deep in her bones whenever he came close, and goose bumps had begun to erupt across her arms and the back of her neck.

"Come on," she said, motioning for all of them to follow. "We're not out of this yet."

She soon realized that was the understatement of the year.

When the ragtag group emerged into the brightly lit entrance hall, they shielded their eyes and looked around. They were surrounded. Lucius, Greg, Snape, Mulciber, Bellatrix, Brenna, and Constance's mother were waiting for them, and as they stood staring back and forth, Vega and Avery limped through the door, wands out and ready.

"It's true then," Trisha Malfoy sneered, eying her daughter with a look of utmost loathing. "Here I thought Gregory was lying. I thought I taught you better than that."

Constance rolled her eyes and stood firmly next to the others, those whom had wands were pulling them out.

"They're stalling," she muttered to those closest to her. "The Dark Lord is coming. They won't do anything they don't have to until he gets here."

Bellatrix heard her and gave a manic laugh. "Oh don't you know us well, cousin dearest. I was right to suspect betrayal from you."

"That you were _Bella sweetie_," Constance replied, mocking her tone. "Too bad you thought me too much a coward to do anything more than plan. Setting Snape outside my door did nothing to stop me."

"It makes little difference now," Bellatrix went on, licking her lips and pointing her wand at each of them in turn. "You will all soon be dead, anyway."

She was about to cast a spell, but Frank was too quick for her. He shot a Stunner towards Bellatrix, which she dodged, but it also threw her curse in a different direction.

"You!" she hissed, and lunged at Frank. This movement seemed to signal the others, who all jumped immediately into battle. Lily, Constance noticed, made sure she sent a few choice words Greg's way.

"_Impedimenta! Furnunculus_!" she cried, and Greg was forced to stop in his tracks as ugly, painful looking boils erupted across his face.

"Lily, sweetheart!" he managed to call to her, though his features were swelling and becoming distorted under her spell. "Long time, no see."

"Shut up, Pearson," Lily yelled back. At that moment, Constance was distracted by a jet of green light flying past her face.

"I didn't have to miss, you know," Trisha Malfoy told her daughter. "But I want to see the look in your eyes when I kill you."

"This is why I changed my mind!" Constance growled back, holding her wand in front of her. "If my own mother is a heartless bitch, I'd rather stay away from the things she wants for me."

"You are no daughter of mine! The Dark Lord tells us to prune our family trees. Bellatrix will do so with Sirius, just as I will do with you!"

- - - - - - -

Upon hearing Lily shout Pearson's name, hot anger literally boiled in James' blood. This could not be the same Gregory Pearson that had almost hurt her beyond repair over the summer.

Oh, he was so dead.

James shot a Stunner at Snape, crashing him into the far wall with a sickening thud and rushed to where Lily was dueling the Death Eater she had called Pearson.

"Lily? This isn't?" He stopped though; the look in her eyes confirmed his suspicion.

"Who are you? Her next boy toy?" Pearson sneered at James. That was too much.

"_Sectumsempra!"_ James yelled, throwing a curse he had learned from Snape. Immediately, cuts began to appear across Pearson's chest and he looked at James in terror.

"James!" Lily screamed upon seeing what he had done. "James, no, we can't kill him!"

"Why not?" he growled angrily. "After what he did to you he more than deserves it."

"James Wesley Potter, you will not become a killer for such a stupid, petty reason!" she yelled, rushing to Pearson, who was now lying on the floor, and quickly repairing his injuries. "And it doesn't matter what he deserves. By killing him, you would only be sinking to their level!"

James stared at her in disbelief, but snapped back to reality when a jet of orange light grazed Lily's shoulder. She hissed in pain and jumped back to her feet. She gave James a look and rushed off to fight Lucius Malfoy.

Sirius was at his side instantly. "Is that the bastard?"

"Yes," James nodded. "But Lily doesn't want him dead."

"'Course not," Sirius scoffed. "Doesn't mean we can't give him hell before we leave."

- - - - - - -

Vanessa waited until Lily had Lucius distracted before she flung herself onto his back and yanked the wand from his hand. Her own had been taken on the train, and the brunette had never felt so defenseless. Malfoy's was obviously not her perfect fit, but it would do the job. She saw Remus lunge for Snape's discarded wand and threw a curse at Bellatrix, who tried to hit Remus when his back was turned.

They fight dirty those Slytherins.

- - - - - - -

Constance refused to attack her own mother, and continued to cast defensive charms, rather than take the offensive. She was being pushed into a corner, however, and would either have to fight her way out or die.

What a grim path she had chosen.

But as she shot another Shield charm in front of her, somehow Constance could not regret what she had done. She was learning that maybe there was more to live and fight for than merely one's own desires. Perhaps, one could do so for the good of others.

Now, Constance was no hero. She knew it in every corner of her heart. But she would try. And perhaps, heroes did not have to be born as such; perhaps they could come straight out of evil and do a world of good.

Unlikely. But worth a shot.

- - - - - - -

Stella had grown used to the feeling of near helplessness over the past few months. Useless, though, in a sense that mattered only to herself. Now she had other people – people she could consider friends – fighting and there was little she could do to assist them.

But she could at least distract the Death Eaters. That way, not all of their curses were aimed at those already occupied, so she dodged jet after jet of light sent her way by Avery, remaining in a constant dance for survival. She wished she had learned martial arts or_ something_ as a child that would help her in this situation, but honestly, who would grow up preparing for _this_?

She was becoming weary when Avery was suddenly knocked off his feet and put out cold. Stella looked over to see Sirius withdrawing his wand. He winked at her and turned back to where he and James were taking on Greg. Not that it took two, but they clearly both had some sort of grudge against him.

Stella grinned slightly and watched as James shot a funny sounding jinx that caused Greg's legs to begin dancing uncontrollably. Upon seeing that, Stella actually doubled over in true laughter for the first time in months.

She stopped quickly, though, when Vega began throwing curses at her. Back to the dance it was.

- - - - - - -

Alice shot a series of disarming and stunning spells at Trisha Malfoy while she was dueling her daughter. One of the stunners caught and she was launched backwards into the wall, earning Alice a grateful smile from Constance. After returning the grin, Alice rushed to Frank and Lily, who were fighting Lucius Malfoy to no avail.

She added her own jinxes to mix, but suddenly, everyone else still standing froze.

Alice slowly turned to find Regulus with his wand at Stella's throat.

- - - - - - -

Constance groaned inwardly. She should have seen that one coming; it was exactly what she would have done herself. Everyone watched in rapt attention, waiting for the youngest Black's next move.

"Here's how it works," he told them, taking on a rather arrogant air. "You all go back to your cells quietly, or your firend dies where she stands."

The eight Gryffindors glanced around at each other, to Moody, who had already taken out Mulciber, Brenna, and Mr. Malfoy – who must have appeared sometime during the fight – without a wand. Then they looked to Constance, who nodded. Believe it or not, she had a plan. They all held up their hands in defeat and started going slowly back to the stairs. Constance, who was slightly behind Regulus, took a deep breath and shot a Confundus charm at the back of his head when the other Death Eaters were turned to make sure the prisoners were not trying to escape.

He staggered for a moment long enough for Stella to break from his grasp and Constance quickly hit Lucius, who had seen, with a silencing charm. Bellatrix, who had rushed to the window to await her master's arrival turned back and aimed her wand at Constance – a look of purest hatred on her face.

Bellatrix sauntered forward as Constance saw James bind Lucius from the corner of her eye and watched Sirius do the same to Greg, who was still moaning in pain and clutching his face – which not only was covered in boils, but had also sprouted tentacles and what looked like leafy branches.

"Get out, all of you," Constance ordered, her own wand pointed back at Bella.

She did not have to look to know that James and Lily had both opened their mouths to argue. "Listen, don't worry about me. I can handle my family. Trust me, just get out."

"But –"

Constance snapped her gaze away from her cousin to look directly into James' hazel eyes. "Go now, or I will kill you myself."

He did not look like he wanted to comply, but Vanessa grabbed his arm and pull him towards the door. Bellatrix was enraged, but dared not take her wand off Constance.

She could feel the stares of her eight classmates, along with Stella and Moody, boring into her, waiting one last moment. Constance groaned and shot a Shield charm between herself and them, letting them know that there was nothing they could do. Slowly, sadly, they backed out the door. There was a load CRACK and Constance knew they were safe.

She, however, was far from security.

Bellatrix's eyes widened in terror and fury. She howled like a dog in pain and screamed "_CRUCIO!"_

It was a spell Constance had never been on the receiving end of before, but it now ripped through her body with the force of a thunder storm. Every part of her seemed to be being torn in different directions, while it felt as though someone had lit her blood on fire.

She heard the screaming before she knew it was her own, begging, pleading for the pain to stop, anything for it to stop.

When it did, she almost wished it were back, for she found herself face to face with the darkest wizard of the age.

- - - - - - -

They came to a stop on the front porch of Potter Manor. It was quite, a gentle snow was falling softly on the grounds, but James' ears were still ringing with the sounds of battle. They had left Constance, left her to deal with everything herself.

Who knew how long she would survive that.

He could only hope and pray that she made it through, that they found it in their black, twisted hearts to show her mercy. If James had been at Hogwarts, he thought that was certainly what he would use the wishing well for. It didn't really make sense. After all, she had captured Sirius in the first place, but there were things called forgiveness and redemption – and Constance had earned them a thousand times over.

He looked down at Lily to find her remarkably in one piece, though she had tears in her beautiful green eyes. She did not say a word – no one did, but James wrapped his arm around her shoulders and put the other around Vanessa's before entering the house.

Lily had seen so shocked by the size of Malfoy Manor that James was certain she would be astounded by the vastness of his own. He thought though, that maybe in the short time they had been in the Death Eater's headquarters, they all might have grown up a little, and frivolous things like that did not really matter anymore.

Thank Merlin that his parents were not home. They had gone on holiday for the first week of break, leaving the house empty but for the elves. James showed everyone to rooms in which they could stay, bathrooms where they could wash away the blood and dirt, but no one seemed to want to separate. They all stayed close, in a quiet huddle on the landing, just sitting on the floor and relishing the fact that they were all still together.

- - - - - - -

With a flick of the Dark Lord's wand, Lucius and Greg were freed from their bonds, and the others that had been knocked out or stunned were reawakened. Another flick brought Constance to her feet – she had fallen to the ground in agony at some point during Bellatrix's curse.

Without taking his eyes from hers, Voldemort addressed his followers. "Which of you is worthy to do the honors of making an example of Miss Malfoy?"

The excitement that radiated from Bella was almost tangible, while the others were eager, though less willing.

"Miss Black then?" the Dark Lord went on, nothing short of an evil grimace gracing his snake-like face. "Or Mr. Malfoy." For the first time, he turned his head and stared directly at Lucius, who winced under his gaze. "She shares your name, does she not? It seems only fitting that it is you that – shall we say – plucks the bad apple from the tree?"

Lucius, already pale by nature, turned a shade of white that would have rivaled any ghost ever to exist. Conflict was evident on his face as his grey eyes flickered between his master and his cousin.

Voldemort made a sort of disappointed noise and began to turn away, but Lucius stopped him.

"Wait, Master! Of course I shall do it. Forgive my hesitance."

"Then, by all means," Voldemort hissed, standing aside to make room for Lucius. "Proceed."

Lucius gulped and took a step toward her, raising the wand he had taken from Greg in a shaking hand.

"But wait," the Dark Lord said quietly, though everyone was able to hear. "Wait. It would seem only right to ask Miss Malfoy why this is necessary. What, pray tell, are you dying for?"

Constance felt tears welling in her eyes as she stared up into the face of her once-favorite cousin. Had Voldemort's spell not been holding her place, she imagined she would have sunk to the ground and sobbed.

"We're waiting, Miss Malfoy."

Constance opened her mouth and tasted salty tears. Her throat was thick and at first, her voice was only a strange rasping noise. She cleared roughly, ignoring her mother's flinch at such an un-ladylike gesture.

"I… I d-did it because th-they did it f-for me," she told them in a shaky voice. But then she managed to make it stronger. "And because I finally learned that there is more to life than living by your ancestor's st-stupid beliefs. Mudbl – Muggleborns have just as much right to this world as any of us."

Voldemort sneered down at her, a look of something that resembled pity on his face. "There you are, Lucius, all the proof you need to know that this one is not worth having."

So Lucius – in whom Constance saw herself but a day ago, doing what she felt was the only choice simply because she thought she was not brave enough for anything else – stepped forward, wand drawn and pointed at her heart.

"Y-you always have a ch-choice, Lucius," she whispered so only he could hear. Tears of fear now flowed unrestrainedly down her cheeks, but she felt she should say something. "E-even when it seems l-l-like there is only one way, you're c-capable of more than what y-you expect."

He hesitated for the slightest of moments before muttering two unforgivable words. There was a flash of green, and everything was over.

- **NO POV** -

Growing up, Constance Malfoy never dreamed of being the hero. The damsel in distress, perhaps, but she had never been the type to rush headlong into danger without fear of the consequences. Recently, though, something had changed in her; some might say something had gone wrong. Others, however, would choose to believe something went magnificently, perfectly, and irrevocably right.

After sixteen years of being told that anyone other than a pureblood was beneath her notice, that magic was might and pure was perfection, something inside of her had finally snapped. She had decided to see for herself if misfits and Mudbloods truly were as abominable as they were made out to be. And after sixteen long years, she discovered the truth.

Blood had nothing to do with who someone was – other than what their family taught them – but Sirius had proven that no matter who you are, you didn't have to sit down and take everything that your family throws at you, you can push right back.

Blood did not make someone cunning, or brave, or fair, or wise. The heart, perhaps, had something to do with those things, but blood and connection meant little when it came to moral standing and personal values. Blood did not determine which House a person was placed in, it was – in all honesty – entirely up to each individual. Constance had merely been so used to the idea of belonging in Slytherin, that when the time came for the sorting, she could see no other way. Rather than letting her own traits determine her House, she had allowed the House to determine who she was.

Some though, some people were smarter than that. Some were like Sirius Black, who – deep down – had always been wise beyond his years, and at the age of eleven knew that there was more to life than preserving the so-called purity of genes. He knew enough to want more from life. He, like Constance, had had Pureblood ideals forced upon him his entire life, but he had known enough to meet those beliefs with nothing short of rebellion. His blood had not 'gone bad,' as his mother liked to say, rather, he showed that there was more to life than the acute perception of it that had been thrust upon him.

Blood meant nothing. It was as simple as that.

This, naturally, was staggering, mind-blowing, and life-altering to the young witch. It challenged everything she had ever known in life. Yet, somehow, once it became clear, it was as if nothing else could even make the slightest bit of sense. When she realized that she could choose her friends for their hearts rather than their House, she knew that maybe she did not have to become a Death Eater after all. When it came right down to it, Constance realized that she could either choose to be like Sirius, who had left his family and found friendships that would last, or like Snape, who had thrown away everything he truly loved in life to do what his family wanted him to.

Family had once meant everything to her, but she had finally learned that you have to make up your own mind, based off your own experiences. Otherwise, you end up fighting the wars of your fathers, and you do so half-heartedly. And if everyone fights like that, how could there ever be any hope of victory? Would it not be better to stand up for what you truly believe and do so with everything you have? That way, you find something you are actually willing to die for.

And once you have that, you have something you are willing to live for.

And isn't it better to live for your beliefs rather than live simply because you fear death? Though, Constance did fear death. She faced it scared out of her mind – but she faced it nonetheless. And though fear gripped her heart until her final breath, she died courageously. That was what heroism was in the end. It was not being brave, taking down your enemy, and living to fight another day. Heroism, in reality, was standing – trembling head to toe in terror – but standing, despite that, long enough to do what had to be done.

* * *

***SOB***

**Oh my gosh, I cried while writing this. I had really begun to like her character, but she was just one who makes her point better in death than in life, does that make sense?**

**And she actually inspired me to write a little oneshot from Regulus' POV. It's called **_**What I Always Wanted**_**. You should check it out. (: Make me feel better.**

**PLEASE REVIEW! Tell me if you cried, for some reason, I always like to hear that. XD**

**And this sort of marks a change in the story. Now that they have Stella, a weight has sort of been lifted from their shoulders, and I expect the next few chapters to have a happier feel. Once they sort of stop mourning for Constance.**

**And please tell me what you thought of her character over all!! She was only in the story for a brief time, but I really want to know what you thought of her. (:**

**Love you all to bits!**

**Oh, and I changed the rating on this story from T to M, because I think it's gotten darker and there's more langage and death and all that. Just so you know.**

**Love Always,  
****Kayla**

"_I sometimes think we sort too soon." – Albus Dumbledore_


	35. White Roses

**Ugh. This chapter totally kicked my butt, luckily, Alice jumped in and saved me and therefore you have a chapter. (: But I must admit that it is not very good, so bear with me, please. ****I have AWFUL writer's block at the moment.****And I would like to thank an anonymous reviewer who goes by "Stacey" for finding me my real Lily Evans! I changed the character pictures and the new link is on my profile. THANK YOU!**

**There are two wonderful people to whom I would like to dedicate this chapter.**

**First, to **_**hpdreamer500**_**, for making a beautiful banner for this story; there is a link on my profile under the MY STORIES section. Go check it out and tell her how fabulous she is. And for**_** ivyflightislistening**_**, for inspiring the first part. (:**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything. James and Lily and everyone you recognize are JKR's, and Isabella Fawcett belongs to **_**pinkpearl89**_**, though I altered her to fit her little cameo. That's for Pearl since she just finished her wonderful story. :D**

_It's okay to need each other. That's what makes us strong. That's what makes us human._

**Chapter Thirty-Five: White Roses**

The nine teenagers stood in silence in the forest behind Potter Manor. The wind gently blew snow around them, turning cheeks and noses pink and freezing tears as they fell. They were giving Constance the funeral she would more than likely never receive.

They had no body to bury, no picture to represent her, but Lily had had a better idea. Constance had saved their lives, so it would be fitting to remember her as life rather than death.

The redheaded witch stepped out from their little huddle and up to the small hill in the clearing. She coughed quietly and raised her wand, muttering "_roses quod vita_." Before their eyes, a beautiful rose bush sprouted from the ground, even though the ice, white buds erupting everywhere.

"It will never die," Lily told them softly, turning around to face her friends. "I think it's rather fitting, don't you?"

Alice nodded, tears glittering in her ocean blue eyes. "Would anyone like to say a few words?"

"I will," James said, stepping forward and wrapping an arm around Lily's shoulders – for once, she allowed it to stay. He turned back to the rose bush as the others joined them in the clearing. "She saved our lives," he began. "She didn't have to, she did it knowing that it would only bring pain upon herself, but she did it. I – _we_ – wouldn't have gotten out of there had it not been for her. She was never one of my favorite people, most of the time I wanted to lock her in the dungeons and never have to put up with her again. I always thought she was a Slytherin to the core, that she would probably bleed green, but she proved me wrong in the end, and I can't thank her enough. All I can say is that had she survived, she would have earned a place in Gryffindor were it up to me."

Stella stepped forward next, hugging a borrowed coat tight around her. "I just wanted to say that the entire time I was there, almost all I saw from that family was cruelty of all sorts. I tried to get her cousin to look for the good in himself, but he was completely against the idea. To do what she did, I mean, she had to go against her entire family for us, and I guess it sort of gives me hope that there are more people like her in the world."

She dropped back in line and Vanessa, who looked saddest of all, was next. "Constance and I never got along, not once. She often brought out the worst in me and I never hesitated to pick a fight with her, so I was the last person to trust her when she came to save us. And now, I couldn't regret that more. Maybe, had I believed her, I would have wanted to stay to help her, but I didn't and I just want her to know that I'm sorry… for everything."

"I never would have guessed she had the guts to do that," Sirius added. "I should have given her a lot more credit. She actually fought her family, while I just ran away. I guess in the end she was braver than I was."

He came back and the others looked at one another. It seemed that the four of them had said it all, so they simply turned, arms all wrapped around each other, and watched her roses bloom.

- - - - - - -

A week had passed since their makeshift funeral, and life was beginning to return to a normal rhythm for the young witches and wizards. They had all remained at the Potters' by invitation of James' mother, who insisted that they all attend her annual Christmas Eve ball. None of them were particularly thrilled with the idea, but it seemed that many of them had nowhere else to go.

Alice sat in her enormous bedroom on Christmas Eve with Lily, Vanessa, and Stella. She was the only one of the girls who had ever been to such a thing, and was determined to make the others fit for the occasion.

"Okay, Lily," she said, hands on her hips and wand tucked behind her ear. "Get over here." She pointed to the cushioned seat in front of the large oak vanity and Lily reluctantly made her way to her best friend.

"Nothing too fancy, Alice," warned the redhead, sitting down as if the cushion was a porcupine.

Alice rolled her large blue eyes and pulled a brush from the back pocket of her jeans. "Lily, Lily, Lily, this is James' party. If you two are going to date, you're going to have to impress his –"

"Alice!" Lily exclaimed, glaring at her in the mirror. Alice grinned widely and shrugged her thin shoulders.

"Just saying, anyway, what are we going to do about your hair?"

"Well –"

"It was a rhetorical question," the little blonde cut her off, walking around Lily to see all sides. "Hmmm…"

She took her wand and tried curling, straightening, and a combination of the two, but nothing seemed to work the way she wanted it too. Finally, she scooped up all of Lily's dark red hair and twisted it into an elegant knot on the back of her head, leaving a few curled strands to frame her heart-shaped face. Alice then dashed to the bed where one of her over-large bags sat bulging and pulled almost everything out until she found what she had been looking for.

"It was going to be a part of your Christmas present," Alice explained, pulling out a hairpin with an emerald lily on the end that sparkled whenever the light hit it. "But I suppose you'll get more use out of it now." She put it in Lily's bun and stood back to take in the full effect.

"Alice, I – It's beautiful," the redhead stuttered, looking at the jewel in the mirror with her mouth partway open.

The petite witch waved her hand dismissively. "Never mind that now, we have to work on your manners before tonight." She put her hand under Lily's chin and shut her mouth for her. "Staring like that is very un-ladylike."

Lily's cheeks turned slightly pink as Alice pulled out her large makeup bag and she pressed her lips together tightly. "Do you really think these people are going to notice something like that?"

Alice sighed and hopped up to sit on the vanity. "Yes, they will. Lily, these people – especially the women – come only to judge each other's every move. They'll take one look at you and trash talk you for the rest of the night. Same goes for you two," Alice added, looking at Vanessa and Stella.

"Well there's a happy thought," Lily said sarcastically and tried to roll her eyes, but Alice was applying eye shadow, which made the task quite difficult. "And what do you suggest we do?"

Alice took a deep breath as she continued with Lily's makeup. "Well, don't draw attention to yourself, don't speak unless spoken to, and even then only say the bare minimum – and always enunciate, that's very important. Never decline an offer to dance, if someone tries to cut in, let the man you are dancing with make the decision. When we eat, watch me before you touch anything and mirror whatever I do, because there is certain silverware to be used for different things. Compliment whatever you can, but never overdo it. Always stand and walk with your back and shoulders straight and your head high, meet people's eyes, don't fidget," Alice's brow furrowed a little more as she ticked each thing off on her fingers. "When we go to the stairs, we will all have an escort to lead us to the bottom, and each of us will be announced. Frank will be with me and Remus with Ness, obviously. I'm assuming James will take Lily and then Stella, you have your pick of Sirius or Peter."

The tall girl bit her lip and looked conflicted, but nodded once and waited for Alice to continue.

"When we enter, don't head straight for the drink table, but I'm sure you'll be fine there because the boys will lead us to a group of people where they will begin a conversation, but again, don't speak much. If you laugh, never do so loudly," she almost gasped for air when she finished. "That's all I can think of off the top of my head, but if I notice anything while we're down there, I'll be sure to let you know."

"Wow," Lily said, shaking her head. "That's ridiculous."

Alice laughed quietly. "I know, but that's high society life for you. All right Lily, you're done." She admired her work with a smile. Lily looked nothing short of angelic. "Now go get your dress on. Nessa, your turn!"

Lily hopped up and made her way to the closet where she had hung the dress Mrs. Potter had bought her for the occasion while Vanessa took her place with a pained look on her face. Alice's grin widened as she pulled her friend's raven hair out of its usual messy bun.

"I know exactly what I want to do with you," the little blonde exclaimed happily. She braided small sections along the sides of Vanessa's head and pulled all of it up into a high ponytail. With a flick of her wand, it took on long, graceful curls and her bangs bumped up in the front and held in place with a sparkling ruby clip. Alice then swiped on makeup – more than she knew Vanessa would have ever applied herself – and hauled her out of the seat to dress as well.

"Stella!" she sang, and danced to the taller blonde's side to drag her over to her station.

"You know," Stella said hesitantly as Alice pushed her onto the stool. "Maybe I shouldn't go at all, I mean –"

"Unacceptable," Alice told her, running the brush through her hair. "You can do this, no problem. It's not as bad as you think it's going to be."

"But – "

"No buts."

For Stella, she chose long gentle curls as well, though she only pulled half of it up. The rest embraced her shoulders and back.

"I got one for you, too," Alice said, taking a diamond barrette in the shape of a butterfly and placing it in her blonde hair.

"Alice, you didn't have to –"

The shorter girl cut her off, thinking she was doing that a lot today. "It doesn't matter if I had to or not. You're my friend now and I wanted to get you something special."

"Well, thank you, I, I…" Whatever else she might have said was stopped as Alice began putting a pale pink lipstick on her lips.

"Done!" she exclaimed. "You three get dressed while I do my own."

Vanessa rolled her eyes as she pulled the deep red gown from the closet. "Thanks, Al. Where would we be without you?"

"Oh! That's another thing!" Alice told them, smacking her forehead. "No nicknames."

- - - - - - -

Lily tied the halter neck on her floor-length emerald dress and turned to the long mirror.

"You look stunning," it said in a slightly wheezy voice. "But shoulders back! Look confident dear."

Lily jumped slightly at the critique, but straightened up nonetheless. It _was _a beautiful dress. It shimmered like her hairpin with ever move and fit tightly to her from the waist up, and flowed downward from there. Vanessa joined her at the mirror, looking self-conscious. Her blood red dress was strapless with a corset-like top that she kept trying to pull up, though it held firmly in place letting a little cleavage show.

"Confidence, confidence, confidence!" repeated the mirror, and Lily saw Vanessa's reflection try to smile.

Stella approached them next, fingering her golden curls. Her gown, like all the others, fell to floor. It was pure white and long sleeved, but the neckline was low and draped around her upper arms. It glittered faintly, making her look like the snow falling outside.

"_Stop fidgeting_," the mirror insisted. "You'll all do fine."

Alice was last to join them. She looked like a princess in a strapless royal blue gown and white silk gloves that passed her elbows. Her own headpiece was a sapphire-studded headband placed meticulously in her spiky blonde hair. As she already radiated elegance and royalty, the mirror had no criticism.

"Well," the little blonde began, taking a matching blue clutch from the bedside table. "Shall we?"

Lily gulped and nodded, following her friend from the room. Vanessa was right behind her, but Stella hung back slightly.

"You two go," Lily told Alice and Vanessa, looking at Stella in understanding. "We'll be right there." 

They glanced back and forth between Lily and Stella before nodding and heading down the hall.

"Stella?" Lily asked quietly. "Are you all right?"

The tall blonde took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. "I'm fine, I – let's just go."

"Sirius will take care of you, you know," Lily told her as they slowly left the room. "He's a really good friend. He won't let anything happen."

Stella faltered for the briefest of moments before pressing her lips together from nerves and nodding. They reached the boys and Lily saw James' jaw drop – even though according to Alice it was rude.

"I – you – wow," he stuttered when he was able to join her.

Lily winked at Stella and turned to James. "What? Didn't think I had it in me?"

"Are you kidding? You look like this every day in my eyes," he told her and Lily had to laugh.

"Do you have any idea how cheesy you are?"

He grinned. "I prefer to think of it as charming."

"Mmhmm," Lily said, rolling her eyes. James held a corsage out to her, and she automatically extended her wrist. It matched the one he was wearing, a simple white rose, with thorns intact.

"I thought it was fitting," he told her. "The other boys made theirs the same way. We figured it was a good way to remember that Constance should be here without proclaiming it everyone.

Lily grinned as it pricked her wrist gently. "The thorns were a nice touch. Who knew you could be poetic?"

"You mean the fact that even roses have thorns, but you have to learn to see past them?" he confirmed, rubbing the back of his neck. "That was actually Sirius' idea, but don't tell him I said that." 

Lily laughed lightly and James extended his arm to her, which she took it with a gulp.

"Are you ready?" he asked quietly.

Lily gave another soft laugh. "Not at all, let's go."

"You really do look beautiful," he whispered in her ear as they took their place in line behind Alice and Frank.

Lily felt her cheeks flush and shot him a look, which he returned with a smile.

"Presenting Frank Neville Longbottom escorting Alice Aubrianna Hinton," the announcer, a short little man in maroon dress robes called to the large crowd gathered below.

Lily watched them descend gracefully, Alice looking totally in her element. The little witch kept a grin on her face and timed every step she took with perfect precision.

Lily gulped again and gripped James' arm tighter as he chuckled softly. "Just relax," he told her as they stepped to the top of the staircase.

"Presenting James Wesley Potter escorting Lily Claire Evans," the man announced and James led her down.

Lily felt the eyes of ever guest upon them, and she distinctly noticed many of the women scanning her up and down with disapproving looks. She let out an aggravated breath and held her head high, ready to prove them wrong.

"Don't worry about them," James whispered out of the corner of his mouth. "They've been waiting for me to have a date to one of these things since I could walk, but they still think I'm too good for anyone, which is just ridiculous."

"It is ridiculous," Lily breathed, feeling a real smile creep across her forced expression of happiness. "Because you still don't have a date. You are merely escorting me to the floor."

He laughed ever so quietly. "That's my girl."

- - - - - - -

"You all right?" Sirius asked as he and Stella stood behind Remus and Vanessa.

She looked up at him, studying his grey eyes for a moment before nodding. "I just, I don't know," Stella told him lamely, feeling the hot blush she knew colored her face.

"It's okay, I swear. Just follow my lead and everything will be fine."

He seemed to hesitate before offering her his arm. She placed her hand on it as lightly as she could, forcing herself not to flinch at the contact.

"Presenting Remus John Lupin escorting Vanessa Channing Reese."

"Just breath," Sirius said softly. "And please don't worry, I know what you're thinking, but I won't let anyone anywhere near you if you want me too."

Stella started slightly at this. How could he have known that all she had been able to think about was having to dance with other men? There were so many down there and it was a battle just to take one step. He gave her a reassuring grin and pulled her to the top of the staircase, where she could see the others waiting for them at the bottom.

"Presenting Sirius Orion Black escorting Stella May Redwood," the man called.

They began walking down the stairs and Stella tensed a little more with every step, knowing each took her closer to the sea of faces below.

"Don't worry," Sirius breathed in her ear. "I can be quite intimidating. They won't dare come near you."

Stella gave him a small smile and inched a little closer as they reached the floor. He led her away from the large groups of people, though she could feel some of the men's eyes studying her, which caused her to shiver involuntarily.

"See? That wasn't so bad, was it?" he asked, letting go of her.

Stella managed to shake her head before glancing around nervously.

"Look at me," Sirius went on, blowing his long black hair from his deep grey eyes. "If any of them come within ten feet of you I'll curse them from here to next week, understand?"

Stella laughed softly. "But what about you? You need to have fun tonight, even if I'm freaking out."

"Don't worry about it," Sirius said with a shrug. "I've been to enough of these, it really won't hurt me to spend one playing body guard."

Stella rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, looking around. "Well, I'm afraid that would be selfish of me, you know there's at least a dozen girls staring at you right now."

"I'm used to that." He gave a cocky grin and winked at a few of them. "I can ignore it."

She was surprised to find herself laughing again. Ten minutes ago, she would have thought she'd be lucky not to be throwing her guts up at this point. "Thanks, Sirius."

"Sure thing, you want something to drink?"

Stella raised an eyebrow. "Alice said never go to the refreshments first thing."

"Do you really think I'm one to follow their crazy code of etiquette?" he asked with a chuckle, turning around and leading her to one of the deserted tables.

She let out a breath she did not know she had been holding and allowed her shoulders to relax slightly from their rigid position. "Thank goodness, that makes things much easier. Besides, this way we get first choice."

Sirius gave a bark-like laugh and filled a glass of butterbeer for her. "I like the way you think, Redwood."

- - - - - - -

Lily stood in a group with James, Alice, Frank, and some older ball-goers. They all froze and looked up to the staircase when a little trumpet sounded.

"I would like to present to you all your beautiful hostess, Mrs. Natalia Beatrice Potter," the announcer said loudly, bowing low. "And her escort, Mr. Peter Marlin Pettigrew."

Lily brought a hand to her mouth to cover a laugh as little Peter, head and shoulders shorter than Mrs. Potter, led the woman down the stairs. He was red and the face and more than once almost tripped over his robes, but James' mother smiled warmly at him, as though it were her own son walking next to her.

"Well, I'll be," Frank said, a smile on his face.

"Yeah," James whispered so only Lily could hear. "Who knew my own mother was a cougar?"

It took everything she had to keep from bursting into loud laughter on the spot, though she could not contain a giggle, which earned her many sidelong looks from the other women present.

"James, don't do that," she scolded softly. "I want these people to like me and you're not helping."

He smiled at her and leaned down so his face was hardly an inch from her own. "Listen, darling, their opinions don't matter, all right? I know who you are and nothing they say will ever make me think any less of you."

Lily rolled her eyes, finding that bantering with James helped take her mind off the stress she felt. "Did you ever think that maybe it's not about you?" she asked with a smile, cocking an eyebrow in the way he often did when trying to flirt with her. "Perhaps I just want one of these other men here to fall for me."

James looked as though he could not decided whether to laugh or punch someone, so Lily chuckled very quietly to assure him she was kidding.

"Please," she said sarcastically. "As if I would ever fall in love with one of these straight-backed, narrow-minded high-class idiots."

James laughed, though he too did so as if trying not to make a sound. "I guess there's no hope for me then?"

"Was there ever?"

- - - - - - -

Alice was playing the part of social butterfly, flitting between groups of people and sharing a word or two, introducing Frank around, and brushing off a few would-be suitors. She spoke eloquently of art and culture, gave gushing compliments whenever possible, and did everything her mother would have expected of her. It was the role she had been bred and raised for, though that was all it was to the little blonde – an act.

To Alice's surprise, Frank rose to the occasion quite magnificently, following her lead while making it seem as though he was the one leading – which was what was expected of a gentleman. He seemed to know something about everything anyone brought up, and met every disguised challenge of his character with grace and valor. Alice, though she was not one to enjoy the high class society, could not have been more proud of him.

"'E iz cute!" exclaimed Isabella Fawcett, a girl Alice's age, though she attended Beauxbatons Academy. She swept her strawberry blonde hair over her shoulder and pretended to study her manicured nails, though she watched Frank – who was standing a few yards away – through her long eyelashes. "I weesh my Adrian was zat attractive."

Alice resisted the urge to roll her eyes and smiled at James' cousin. "There's nothing wrong with Adrian. Half the girls here can't keep their eyes off him."

Isabella smiled smugly and looked to find her boyfriend surrounded by a group of giggling girls. "Yes, zat iz true. But 'ave you seen my cousin's friends? Zey are all quite handsome. Especially zat Remus Lupin. I suppose zat dark girl with ze too-loud laugh iz his girlfriend? 'E could do much better eef you ask me."

Alice bit her lip to keep back a smart retort and excused herself to powder her nose. Once inside the bathroom, she took a deep breath and glanced in the mirror.

"Don't look so worried," it said harshly, much less appealing than the kind one in her bedroom. "It is not at all becoming for a girl of your status."

"Status my ass," she growled back, taking another deep breath before leaving the room to find Frank.

"Hey," he said with a warm smile when she joined him by a small table. "I've been looking all over for you."

"Sorry," she answered, relaxing immediately upon seeing his face. "I ran into Isabella. I swear that girl could find something wrong with an angel."

Frank chuckled softly and raised a hand to ruffle her hair, but he quickly remembered where they were and let it drop. "Just try not to let her get to you. Whatever she said, I'm sure it wasn't true."

"Parts of it were though," Alice told him, shaking her head and stopping her shoulders from drooping at all. "Not the things she said about Vanessa not being good enough for Rem, but Frank, the girl has a boyfriend, but I would bet every galleon I have that she'd make a move on you or Remus if she got the chance."

Frank grinned at her. "Jealous, are we? Well, there's no need to worry, not about me, and not about Remus. You know he'd never do anything to hurt Ness, and I'd jump off a cliff before even thinking about any girl but you."

Alice rolled her eyes, but could not contain a smile. What could she say? He just managed to light up her world.

- - - - - - -

Mrs. Potter called everyone to the long dining room to eat and Vanessa slipped her hand into Remus' as a reassurance for them both. Neither of them felt completely comfortable in this setting. Lily had James, Stella had Sirius, and Alice and Frank had each other, but Vanessa and Remus had never been to something like this before, so they were tiptoeing around everything and everyone, trying desperately not to draw attention to themselves in the hope they would not embarrass James and his family.

They entered the room and found their seats, marked with beautifully engraved cards and waited for James' mother to sit first.

"And 'ou are you?" asked the girl across from Vanessa. Her strawberry blonde hair was curled perfectly, not a strand out of place as it framed her fair face.

"Vanessa Reese," she told her, reminding herself to sit up straight. "Who are you?"

"Eezabella Fawcett," the girl said pompously through her thick French accent. "And zis iz my beau, Adrian."

Vanessa nodded to him. "It's a pleasure to meet you both."

"Eet iz izn't eet?" Isabella said absentmindedly as she examined her nails. "You attend 'Ogwarts, I presume?"

"Yes, we're in our sixth year there. Do you go to Beauxbatons?"

"Oui, we are seexth year as well."

_Good grief_, Vanessa thought, fighting the urge to slam her head onto the table. _Could this girl be any more boring?_

"Did you know zere are thorns on your corzage?" Isabella asked, shooting the white rose on her wrist a disapproving look.

Vanessa clenched her teeth. "I did actually, I like it better that way."

"But why? Eet iz so uncivilized." Isabella went on, her voice rising,

"What?" Vanessa said sarcastically, unable to restrain herself. "Uncivilized because your pampered skin could get cut with a rose petal, let alone a thorn? "

"Oh, ze food iz ready," Isabella said dryly, changing the subject abruptly and taking her napkin, folding it, and placing it carefully across her lap. Vanessa glanced down the table a few chairs down at Alice, who gave a subtle nod, so she did the same.

"How long does this last, did they say?" Vanessa muttered to Remus, who gave her a tired smile.

"Too long," he whispered back as Isabella began to complain about 'ziz Eengleesh food' begin 'too 'eavy.' And Vanessa rolled her eyes.

The dinner did not turn into a total disaster, as Vanessa had imagined it would. How could all four of the Marauders be under the same roof without at least a pudding exploding? But the only problem she encountered was sheer boredom from listening to Isabella drone on and on about the various guests. By the time dessert was served, her patience was wearing very thin, and it was all the brunette could do not to run from the room when they announced it was time for the dancing to begin.

- - - - - - -

Lily watched in amusement as Mrs. Potter took Peter for the first dance, while Mr. Potter took one of James' cousins. Peter must have tripped over his feet a hundred times and stepped on his partner's more times than she could have counted, but Natalia Potter never wavered. Once the song ended, other couples were called to join them, and James immediately offered Lily his hand.

"Hmmm," she said, feigning thoughtfulness. "Have I ever just given you a dance before without putting up some sort of fight?"

James grinned. "Actually, you have. It was on Valentine's Day, remember?"

"What was I thinking?" Lily gasped in mock-horror, but took James' hand nonetheless.

"You were thinking of how absolutely wonderful I am, of course."

Lily laughed, but covered it with her other hand. "That's it exactly."

They had reached the center of the floor and Lily felt a small knot forming in her stomach. James smiled understandingly and place one of her hands on his shoulder, while holding the other firmly in his own. His unoccupied hand held her waist.

"Um," Lily muttered, glancing around at the other couples. "What are we supposed to do?"

James' smile grew wider as he chuckled. "Just follow my lead, love. Everything will be just fine."

And it was. James was a surprisingly good dancer, though Lily thought she probably should have expected it of him. He made her feel graceful, like s princess, though she would never admit that to anyone but herself.

"So, what do you think?" James began, almost tentatively. "About all of this, I mean."

"James, it's… wow," she told him, repeating his statement from when he had seen her. He grinned. "I mean, everything is just so fancy and beautiful. It's like something from a fairytale – a Muggle one, I mean. A happy one."

"So it isn't too overwhelming?"

Lily could not help but smile at him. "It probably would have been, but I've got you."

His grin grew even more. There was no need for the sun when he smiled like that.

He pulled her a little closer. "There are so many things I want to say to that, but I suppose for the sake of my face I won't."

- - - - - - -

Stella had to smile as she watched the other girls dance. They were so elegant and beautiful, it made it seem as though she was in an entirely different world, a good one where this was all there was, where there was no pain or heartache.

"Quite a sight, huh?" Sirius asked, coming to stand beside her and handing her a glass of butterbeer.

"Yeah," Stella answered honestly. "Is everything in the magical world so much grander than the Muggle one?"

He chuckled. "Pretty much. Thing about it is, the parties are huge and overdone, but so is the prejudice."

"I guess you just have everything in extremes," she agreed, absentmindedly twirling one of her long curls. "But I suppose in some ways that's a good thing."

He turned from the dancers to look at her, but she chose to not meet his eyes. "What do you mean?"

Stella shrugged. "At least everyone and everything is passionate, there isn't much mediocrity, you know? And while that makes for worse wars, it makes the good times so amazing. I mean, you can't have this fantastic good side and a weak bad one. It's all or nothing."

"And you'd still choose this?" he asked, disbelief evident in his voice.

She bit her lip and finally looked at him. "Well, a lot of really bad things have happened to me in the magical world, but since I haven't had a chance to really experience the good, I don't think I would be an accurate judge of that. What would _you_ choose?"

"Huh," he grunted, thinking for a moment. "I guess there really isn't any competition. Even though I have the worst family ever, I ended up with better friends that anyone, so I guess it does even out after all."

Stella smiled up at him and turned back to watch the others. "It does, but when things are bad, sometimes it's hard to remember that."

"Excuse me, miss," a man said on her other side, making Stella jump. "Would you care to dance?"

She felt her throat constrict as she looked at the man. He had almost the same build as Gregory, and his eyes were very close in shape and color.

"Actually," Sirius interrupted, saving her from having to answer. "She was just getting ready to dance with me."

Stella turned to him, knowing her eyes must be wide with fear, but his touch was gentle as he took her hand.

"Perhaps later, then," said the man, and Stella distinctly heard a growl from deep in Sirius' throat as he led her out onto the floor.

"Er, thanks," she told him, her voice slightly hoarse. "He's still watching us."

Sirius turned to him, checked to make sure Mrs. Potter was not watching, and made a rather rude hand gesture. The man gave Sirius a look, but continued to stare at Stella.

"Do you think you'll be all right to dance?" he asked softly, turning so that he was standing between Stella and her admirer.

The tall blonde gulped, but nodded, bracing herself as she lightly placed her arms around his neck. His own hands were soft, she could hardly feel him touching her at all and she breathed a sigh of relief as the stiffness in her body passed.

"You okay?" he muttered, and she was able to nod truthfully.

"But we can't just stand here looking like idiots, we have to, you know, move."

Sirius let out a loud, bark-like laugh in spite of the code of etiquette, and began to lead her around with the other dancers.

- - - - - - -

Remus was laughing at her, and Vanessa knew it, but somehow she could not stop fuming.

"How could anyone possibly be that awful?" she exclaimed in a whisper as she and Remus spun around the dance floor.

Remus pressed his lips together and she knew he was hiding a smile. "Some people were just raised like that I suppose. You can't really blame her."

"You're defending her?" Vanessa asked, raising an eyebrow. "She and James were raised the same way, and even _he_ isn't that bad."

Remus chuckled. "Just don't let her get to you. Have you noticed that none of these people really have any friends? It's probably because they're all like that."

"But it doesn't make any sense," Vanessa went on, furrowing her brow. "James and Alice both grew up like this, and Sirius did too for that matter, so why can some of them be so great while some of them are like Isabella?"

"Well, James' mum is different than a lot of the others, I mean, she opened by dancing with Peter. That took guts for a woman of her social standing."

"And – for all her fashion knowledge – I don't think Alice ever really liked this type of thing. Her mum throws these kind of parties all the time, and she usually ends up staying with me or Lily to get away from it," Vanessa told him.

Remus nodded, watching Alice and Frank laughing lightly for a moment. "Maybe some people are just too smart to fall into this trap."

"Thank Merlin for that."

- - - - - - -

"Let's take a break, shall we?" Alice asked, panting slightly.

Frank smiled at her and the two of them made their way over to one of the many refreshment tables, where they got their drinks and sat down together. Alice, though she appreciated fashion and high society, had never really been able to enjoy herself at a party such as this. This time, however, seemed to be an exception.

It was because of Frank. Every other party she had been too, every ball her mother had thrown, had been littered with good looking boys in designer suits and dress robes, but while their appearance was lovely, any conversation turned her off right away. They were too up-tight, too proper for Alice. They always seemed to be afraid of offending her or saying something rude, but Frank was never like that. He knew she could take a joke and made them frequently and never thought it disastrously un-ladylike when she fought back. He saw her as an equal, not another pretty flower waiting to be picked, and she loved that about him.

"So is this what it's like when your mum throws these sorts of things?" he asked, grinning as Mrs. Potter swept Peter away for another dance.

Alice laughed lightly at the sight. "I wish. James' mum and dad are much more laid-back about everything. They don't freak out if you say the wrong thing or dance with the wrong person. My mum, on the other hand, is nuts when it comes to this. Everything has to be perfect, and all the people have to be as well. It's like walking on glass all night."

Alice fiddled with her glass of butterbeer, though stopped abruptly when she realized she was fidgeting.

"Then," Frank continued. "Does she believe the same thing as some of these people? That you date someone with wealth and status, the duller the better?"

"Definitely," Alice told him, cocking an eyebrow. "She would hate you."

"So am I ever going to get to meet her?"

Alice shook her head. "Not if I can help it. The minute you do, she'll do everything in her power – which is a lot, by the way – to make sure I never see you again. I remember back in fourth year she almost shipped be off to Beauxbatons to keep me from dating Lucas Graves."

"What made her change her mind?" Frank asked, looking intrigued.

Alice winced. "I gave up; I told him I couldn't see him again. It was awful."

"So you don't want me to meet her because you don't want to have to give up on me?"

He did not sound mad, only curious, so Alice was able to look straight at him as she finished.

"No, I don't want you to meet her because I don't want to have to give up on _her."_

Frank raised his eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

"If she tells me I can't see you anymore," Alice explained. "That's it, I'm through with her."

"But Alice she's –"

"I know," Alice told him, going back to playing with her glass, even though she knew she shouldn't. "But… Frank, you're," she paused to take a deep breath. "You are honestly the best thing that's ever happened to me. Lucas was a crush, but you… well, I could never give you up that easily."

She knew she was blushing, something she rarely did, but Frank managed to have that effect on her with saying anything at all.

"Alice," he said softly, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze. "I –"

But whatever he might have said was cut off as the little announcer cleared his throat loudly.

"I present to you Ms. Charlotte Marissa Hinton, escorted by Mr. Jonathan Henry Burk."

Though she knew the code of etiquette forwards, backwards, and upside down, Alice let her jaw drop at the sight of her mother.

- - - - - - -

"May I cut in?"

Vanessa turned to see a tall boy with dark brown curls and grey-green eyes holding his hand out to her. She turned to Remus and raised an eyebrow. He smiled at her knowingly and let her go.

What neither of them realized was that right behind Adrian stood Isabella, who immediately flung herself into Remus' arms and dragged him across the dance floor.

"Hey –" Vanessa began, but Adrian stopped her with a look.

"With Eezabella, eet iz often better to let 'er do what she will."

Had they not been dancing, Vanessa would have crossed her arms defiantly. "Maybe for you, but I'm not just going to stand here and –"

"Hush," he told her. "You do not want to draw attention to yourself."

Vanessa groaned quietly. "What is it with you people?" she hissed.

"It iz unbecoming to speak in ziz way."

Vanessa broke apart from him and rubbed her temples, he started to say something, but she turned on her heal and walked away.

- - - - - - -

_First Kara, now her?_ Remus thought in exasperation. _Will we ever get a break?_

Isabella had a vice-like grip on him as she steered them around the dance floor and tried to flirt. Remus did everything he could to remain polite, but he was beginning to see why Vanessa found this girl so aggravating. She just _kept talking_. And all she talked about were clothes and how good she looked in them, while making many not-so-subtle hints as to how good she looked _without _them.

He sighed, scanning the room for Vanessa, who seemed to be having some sort of argument with Adrian, so Remus began leading Isabella in their direction.

"No, seelly, we need to go ziz way," she said in her overdone accent.

Remus was reaching breaking point. "I thought the man was supposed to lead," he said calmly. "Unless you're suggesting that under all that make up you're actually –"

Isabella gasped in horror. "'Ow could you zay zuch a thing? I am zee prettiest girl in ziz room. You are lucky to be dancing with me."

"Ah, no," Remus told her, still using the same nonchalant tone. "The prettiest girl in the room is right over there, dancing with _your _boyfriend I might add. You better watch out or you might find him fancying someone else."

Isabella looked as though she had never heard anything so insulting in all her life. "And 'ere I thought you would make a good second," she told him as though it would have been an honor for him. "But clearly I was wrong."

"First thing I'm glad to hear you say all night." Forget the good boy, Remus was fed up.

- - - - - - -

Alice could feel Frank's eyes boring into her, waiting for her to say something, but she could only stare up the grand marble staircase in horror as her mother, dressed elegantly in black silk, gracefully floated down towards them.

"Natalia, darling!" she called upon seeing Mrs. Potter. "So sorry to be late, but there was a big meeting with a few of my models, and you know how they can be."

James' mother merely smiled and nodded, embracing Charlotte Hinton when they reached each other.

"I'm just glad you could make it Charlotte, Alice is here, as you know."

Her mother scanned the room with her deep brown eyes, searching for her daughter. Alice stood hesitantly and approached her, though when they stood side-by-side, the two of them looked nothing alike. Ms. Hinton had cascading reddish brown hair that was half swept into an elegant up-do, while rest curled tightly down to her lower back. Her skin was tanned, from the use of many spells, while Alice was fair, with her signature blonde pixie-cut – something that had always been a sore spot between the two of them.

"Alice," her mother scolded. "Where are your manners?"

"Oh, of course," Alice said, dropping into a low curtsey. "Sorry, mother."

"Now stand up straight. Head held high. And why on earth did you not lengthen your hair for the occasion?"

Alice stood, smoothed her gown, and took the arm her mother offered. "I don't know mother, I suppose I just didn't think about it."

"Didn't think about it? Alice, you must always remember these things, they are crucial at gatherings such as this. Who knows what sort of scandal Claudia Wilkins will have whipped up by now? But no matter, turn around; I shall do it for you."

"Yes, mother," Alice said, trying very hard not to clench her teeth. She felt a tap on the top of her head, followed by a very odd, trickling sensation as long blonde curls suddenly felt past her shoulders.

"That's a little better, at least, but Alice, darling, I am counting on you to remember in the future. You are almost seventeen, you know, and that is marrying age, you must be able to stand on your own two feet."

Alice knew very well that she could do just that, though in a very different way than what her mother expected. "Yes, mother. I'll do better next time."

"Good girl," Ms. Hinton said, patting her daughter's cheek. "Now, who was that young man you were sitting with?"

Alice was rarely at a loss for words, but her tongue seemed to stick to the roof of her mouth at this. "Oh, er, no one," she said lamely.

"Don't stutter," her mother told her, rapping her on the head with her wand. "And no one my daughter talks to is 'no one.' You cannot lie to me."

"His name is Frank, but really, mum, he just asked me for a dance and then we sat down, believe me, I'm not interested in him," Alice insisted, standing between her mother and the table where Frank still sat.

Ms. Hinton pushed her way around her. "I believe that is for me to decide. Especially since you had all those letters from him under your pillow."

"Mother!" Alice exclaimed shrilly, earning her another whack with the wand. "Mother, you cannot go through my mail!"

"I certainly can if you are going to lie to me like that, Alice Hinton. If you two are serious enough for him to say some of those things then I believe I have the right to meet him and decide whether or not he is worthy."

Charlotte Hinton marched across the dance floor, but Alice once more jumped in front of her. "Mother, you just told me I had to learn to stand on my own two feet, and I have. You have to let me make my own decision on this one."

"I have to do nothing of the sort. I have to make sure you are setting up a good future for yourself."

"I am, Mother, trust me," Alice pleaded.

"Do not grovel," Ms. Hinton scolded. "And if he is such a fine boy, then why do you have any trouble with him meeting me?"

Even Alice had nothing to say to that.

* * *

**Ugh, many apologies for that. I know it was pointless fluff, but I guess after everything else, a little fluff is nice, right? Basically, I have writer's block like no other, but I really wanted to update, so I hope you liked it!**

**This was just sort of a transition to the happier stage of things, though from the looks of it, things will get a little worse for Alice before they get better for everyone.**

**ANY TIPS FOR OVER-COMING WRITER'S BLOCK WOULD BE MUCHO APPRECIATED!**

**And Friedel! I sort of borrowed Isabella without asking, and I'm sorry that I made her such a twit, but when she met Vanessa, she just sort of clammed up and turned out like that, if that makes any sense. XD Anyway, CONGRATULATIONS on finishing **_**Unforgettable!!**_

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_Just put on your Big Girl Panties and deal with it._


	36. The Greatest Gift Is Love

**THANK YOU: _XxKMacxX, ashl3yjonas43v3r, evilrobinbird, Super Cara, mica259, Silver Scorpion, SecretlyAGryffindor, ivyflightislistening, Puzzsta, Stacey, -the smell of autumn-, hpdreamer500, whatcanidomolly, mayzie, Sarahrules336, SnarkySidekick, Hannable, pinkpearl89, Rider Arya Svit-kona, Kmonae, _and_ Jackie_ for the wonderful reviews and the help with the writer's block! This is for all of you!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything you recognize.**

_I live in a place full of people pretending to be something they're not, but when I talk to you, I am the girl I want to be._

**Chapter Thirty-Six: The Greatest Gift Is Love**

Alice followed her mother in silent horror as she approached the table where Frank was sitting. In an ordinary family, the little blonde would have had nothing to worry about in bringing him home – but her mother, well, she had higher standards than most. Frank was a pureblood – not that that mattered greatly, but it never hurt with Ms. Hinton – he was polite, kind, gentlemanly, and chivalrous. But he was not part of the social elite. It wasn't like he was poor, far from, but his family had never associated themselves with the goings-on of high society, and this was where he would fall short in the eyes of her mother.

To Frank's credit, he seemed ready for the challenge. He stood immediately when they arrived at the table and kissed the back of Ms. Hinton's hand, bowing respectfully. He winked at Alice and pulled chairs out for both women before seating himself.

"Ms. Hinton, it is such an honor to be able to meet you," he began, giving a smile that could melt the heart.

"Right you are," Alice's mother said briskly, entering interrogation mode. "Who are you?"

"Frank Longbottom, ma'am. I –"

"I know of your family. They used to join us, you know. But then they had you and decided they were too good for all of us."

Alice bit her lip to keep her silence and stopped a groan of frustration from escaping her throat. With Charlotte Hinton, Frank had to do this on his own.

"Perhaps they –"

"No excuses, Mr. Longbottom. Please, tell me what on earth makes someone like you fit to court my daughter? She is of a much higher class than you could ever hope to be, you could only ever bring her down," Ms. Hinton went on, giving Frank a piercing look.

Frank looked at Alice for a moment and flashed her a smile before he answered. "Honestly, ma'am, I have no idea. No one's good enough for Alice in my opinion. She's smart and funny and sweet and beautiful, I don't know why she would pick someone like me, but I'm going to do whatever I can to make her happy – not that she can't be happy all on her own, she's brilliant that way."

A small grin spread across Alice's face in spite of herself, but it was wiped away by her mother's response.

"If that is a pathetic attempt to win my approval, I shall hear nothing of it," she told him pompously. "My daughter deserves someone who knows they are worthy, not someone who only wants to use her to gain status for themselves."

"Mother!" Alice exclaimed, though she knew it might only make things worse.

"Do not speak," her mother scolded. "How many times do I have to tell you this, Alice? An unattached girl must always be on her best behavior in social settings, how else do you expect to find a suitable husband?"

Alice glanced at Frank and saw ice harden in his eyes. She knew his amiable act towards her mother was about to shatter.

"Mother, please," Alice insisted, throwing caution for herself to the wind as she tried to distract her mother from the man that sat beside her. "I am not 'unattached,' I have a wonderful boyfriend, someone I wouldn't trade for anyone in this room and I would appreciate it if you would respect my decision."

"I will respect your decisions when you make the right ones," her mother said coldly, shooting a glare at Frank. "And this clearly is not the right one. Come," she went on, getting to her feet. "We should leave."

Alice stood as well, but crossed her arms and stayed rooted in place. "No, Mother. I'm not leaving Frank simply because he doesn't fit your social standards. If you took the time to get to know him, you would see that there is no better match in the world for me."

"I believe I know enough of him. Did you hear the way he spoke of you?" she asked, voice composed, but Alice could make out the disgusted tone behind it. "Funny, he called you! That is not something that a girl of your status should find acceptable. You have been at that madhouse of a school far too long; it's time you attend Beauxbatons, Alice. They will teach you what you should be like."

"What she should be like?" Frank repeated angrily, getting to his feet as well and standing beside Alice. "What exactly do you think is wrong with her?"

A group of spectators was beginning to form around the three of them, and Alice could feel the worried eyes of her friends upon her, and knowing they were there seemed to give her a little more strength.

"What _isn't _wrong with her?" Ms. Hinton scoffed, looking Alice up and down. "A lady never frowns, it causes wrinkles. Nor does she stand in such a hostile manner. She should not be considered funny, she should be known for her obedience. And –"

"So she shouldn't feel anything, in other words? She shouldn't have any personality?" Frank asked harshly, and even with a few inches between them, Alice could feel the hot anger bubbling inside him.

"She should never make her feelings known," Ms. Hinton corrected.

"Mother, how can you expect that from me?" Alice demanded. "I just can't be like that. I'm sorry, I know rule number one is never wear your heart on your sleeve, but you never realized that years of drilling that into me only caused me to show my feelings more and more. Things can only be suppressed for so long."

Ms. Hinton turned her nose up slightly. "There are other methods for concealing such things. We shall simply have to find what works best for you."

"You don't get it, do you?" Alice said loudly, earning a thousandth disapproving look. "You never took the time to get to know me, I mean, who I _actually_ am! If you had, you would know that I _like_ things this way. I like Hogwarts and I love my friends. They're passionate, Mother, and I am too. That isn't something you can bleed out of me."

"Yes we can, I am sure there are ways –"

"And you don't listen!" Alice continued, fists clenched at her sides and shaking in anger. Her composure was gone, in front of all of these people who would likely talk about her badly for the rest of her life. But hey, people do crazy things for love, and Alice was certainly no exception. "Frank knows me better than you do, Mother, because he cares about what I say. I_ like_ to wear my heart on my sleeve, all right? I like knowing that I can do that without worry because I know that Frank is going to protect it. We may joke around a lot, but I know that at the end of the day, he actually cares about who I am – my hopes, my dreams, my fears, all of it – but you, all you want is to turn me into another soulless aristocrat, and I am not willing to lose myself or him in order to do so."

"You heart would not need protecting if you would learn to control it," Ms. Hinton growled quietly, but her attempt to bring the attention of the room away from them was in vain, for Alice was, indeed, too passionate to whisper.

"The heart is something that we aren't meant to control, mother! I know you think with your multiple men that you have successfully crushed your heart into being submissive, but it doesn't work that way," Alice told her, shaking her head, the long blonde curls her mother had forced her to wear bouncing around her face. "Hearts do things and feel things for reasons that we will never understand, but that what makes love so magical and powerful. In order to truly love, you have to relinquish any control you might have sought to have. That's why love is an adventure, but it's one you still are not willing to have. I, on the other hand, am not so cowardly."

"How dare you call me a coward?" her mother hissed, eyes cracking ever so slightly and the mask slipping but a hair. "I was in Gryffindor as well, you know. I am far braver than you could ever hope to be. I am willing to accept my place in the world, while you fear yours."

Alice felt a painful twinge for Constance at this, knowing now that perhaps the Sorting was not always completely accurate. "It's not that I am afraid to accept my place, Mother. I am willing to fill it by all means, but I know where my real place is, and I refuse to live in a place I am not supposed to be in."

"What are you saying?" asked her mother, eyes narrowing.

She swallowed the lump that was beginning to form in her throat and took Frank's hand in her own. "I'm saying that if you refuse to let me be myself and make my own decisions, I – I," she took a deep breath before she managed to continue. "I'm leaving."

Charlotte Hinton looked surprised for the first time all night. "Don't be ridiculous. I am your family; you cannot walk away from that."

Alice gave her a sad smile, images of Constance and Sirius burning in her mind. "You'd be surprised, Mother. I suppose it's another thing you can blame on my friends, but I've learned that you do what you have to do, and that blood is not what makes a family."

With that, Alice turned – tears fighting to escape her ocean blue eyes – and made her way back up the grand marble staircase, Frank never leaving her side.

- - - - - - -

Stella saw Sirius' expression harden and grow cold as he watched the exchange between Alice and her mother. Hatred was evident on his face as he glared at Ms. Hinton, but it seemed sort of distant, as if he was seeing more than the scene before him.

As Alice left, the crowd began to disperse, bursting to various circles of gossip, so Stella turned to Sirius. "What's wrong?" she asked him quietly. "Well, other than the obvious, I mean."

He turned to her, a serious look in his grey eyes. "While you were at Malfoy Manor," he began in a low voice, leading her from the main room and through to the kitchen. "Did you ever meet someone named Bellatrix Black?"

Stella shivered involuntarily upon hearing the name of the witch who had put her through so much of the pain she had endured. It was in that moment that it clicked.

"You're related," she breathed, bringing a hand to her mouth and trying to hide her horror at the revelation.

He nodded, looking somewhat murderous. "She's my cousin. And Lucius is too, though distantly through engagement. Most of the people who hurt you, that's my family."

Alice had set the bar high when it came to defying the code of etiquette, so Stella felt no guilt in allowing her jaw to drop in surprise. "What happened?" she asked softly. "I mean, you're here, and you and James and everyone, what…?"

He gave her a small smile as she struggled for words. "I did just was Alice did, I ran away. It was over the summer, I came to live here, with James. I just couldn't handle them anymore. But what makes me so angry is that people who are on our side, like Alice's mum, still manage to make their kids' lives hell enough that they have to do what I did. I didn't love my parents, the only strong emotion I ever felt for them was hatred, but Alice…"

"Is naturally loving," Stella finished for him, feeling an iron hand gripping her heart as she heard his full story. "She probably loved her mum in spite of everything, but I guess she loved Frank more and had to make a choice."

He nodded, rubbing his eyes with one hand. "It's just so bloody stupid. It's like there isn't really a 'good' side at all. No one is good, some just hide the evil rather than show it."

Stella laughed quietly and shook her head. "There is so a 'good' side," she told him. "I've seen it firsthand. You and Lily and James and Alice and Constance and all of you, _you're_ the good side. Maybe a lot of the adults are too caught up in other affairs to worry about it, but you gave up your family, and Alice did too, in a way, to show that you are actually willing to forget what they want you to care about and fight for something that matters to you."

"But, Stella," he argued, looking a bit downcast. "Us – we're 16, underage. What are we supposed to do?"

"Sirius, the other side is mostly people our age. This is a war for our generation, even if Voldemort himself may be older," Stella encouraged him with a smile. "These people here, they wouldn't know a good cause if it danced naked in front of them singing at the top if its lungs. But like Alice said, you're all passionate, and so are Bellatrix and Lucius and the others. You're the ones with the reason and drive to fight. It's not like you're up against people with triple your skills."

He sighed, but smiled at her nonetheless. "You're right, but it would just be nice to have some…"

"Guidance?" she offered, and he nodded.

"Come on, I'd be willing to bet that Lily and James are arguing right about now as to what they should do about Alice, Ness is probably about to strangle someone and Remus is not going to be able to control them all forever," Sirius told her with a wink, and led the way back into the ballroom.

- - - - - - -

"James, she's my best friend!" Lily exclaimed, no longer caring what the other guests would make of her outburst. "I can't just sit here and do nothing!"

James took both her hands between his own and tried to calm her down. "I know that, love. I don't expect you to do nothing, but give her and Frank some time, all right? Knowing him, he's probably trying to convince her that he isn't worth giving up her family for."

"And knowing Alice," Lily continued, allowing a small smile at the thought of her friends. "She's doing everything in her power to convince him otherwise and stubbornly refusing to listen to anything he says."

James chuckled softly. "See? Not something you would want to interrupt."

Lily was still worried sick, and she began chewing on her lip in nervousness. "I still can't believe what happened. Alice can usually handle anything, but to actually leave her mum…"

"She must really care about Frank," James mused, cocking an eyebrow at Lily.

She grinned back slyly, once more allowing him to take her mind off of the problems crashing around her. "Yes, Al is one of a kind. The only girl I know that would do something like that for a silly boy."

James rolled his eyes at her, but even he could not distract her fully from the pain she was feeling for the petite blonde witch.

"Can we at least go wait outside her room?" Lily asked him, looking up the tall marble staircase where Alice and Frank had disappeared. James gave her an understanding smile and led the way.

"Where do you think she'll stay?" Lily asked tentatively, realizing that she was speaking for herself as well.

"You both can stay here as long as you like," he told her as they reached the landing and sat across the hall from Alice's closed door. "Stella as well, if she wants. Sirius lives her now, and Remus and Peter might as well. My parents wouldn't mind at all."

"Potter Manor is turning into an orphanage," Lily said sadly. "But thank you, really."

He casually wrapped an arm around her shoulder, and Lily smiled a bit before just as casually shrugging it off.

He laughed lightly. "Well, maybe when we get out of school, the nine of us can rent a place together."

"All of us? Living in the same house?" Lily asked disbelievingly. "It would be packed."

James shrugged. "We all share Gryffindor Tower. Besides," he continued, more seriously. "If there is really going to be a full-out war, we'd do best if we all stuck together."

"There is," she whispered. "Going to be a war, I mean. If anyone could be so cruel as to do what they did to Constance, they are certainly cruel enough to massacre anyone who doesn't believe what they do."

"But it takes two sides to make a war," James put in.

Lily gave him a look. "But do you really think that you would just sit passively if your friends were hurting? Or that they would do so if you were in trouble? Our side was in before the other to be honest, simply because we all love our friends too much to stop fighting."

- - - - - - -

"Why does she have to be so awful?" Vanessa whispered, infuriated. "All Alice ever did was try to please her, but she can't trust her judgment on this one thing?"

Remus shook his head, watching Lily and James make their way up the stairs. "I don't know, Ness. I guess some people won't accept anything less than perfect."

"But Frank's about as close to perfect as you can get," said Stella, as she and Sirius appeared from the kitchen.

Vanessa nodded, glaring daggers into Ms. Hinton's back as she swept from the room. "No wonder Alice never asked us to some visit her, her mum would never have approved of any of us."

Sirius made a small growling noise and clenched his fists. "It's so bloody_ stupid_ how thick some people can be. It's not like Alice tried to go against her mum or anything, and yet she still was never good enough."

Vanessa nodded. "If I ever have a kid, I am never going to treat him that badly. I want him to be able to be himself, you know?"

"Yeah," Stella agreed. "On the up side, I bet Alice will make an excellent mother. After everything she's been through, she's certainly knows what not to do."

The others laughed lightly. "Come on," Vanessa told them. "Let's go check on the others."

- - - - - - -

Alice had been able to hold back tears until she entered her bedroom, at which point they began flowing freely down her fair cheeks. Frank immediately wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close as she buried her face in his shoulder and sobbed, her thin frame shaking violently.

"Alice," he murmured in her ear, stroking her long hair. "Alice, you didn't have to do that, you can go back and –"

"No," she told him firmly, or as firmly as she could through her thick voice and blinding tears. "No, I made my choice."

"But why, Alice, sweetie? She's your mum. I'm nothing compared to that."

Alice took a step back so she could look him in the eye. She knew her own blue ones must be puffy and bloodshot, but she could only hope it made her look fiercer. "Frank, you are_ everything_, okay? I, I love you. My mum, she could never understand that. She's never loved a man in her life. I don't even know who my real father is. I've always had stepdads because I was a mistake for her. She never wanted to have me, and she never really loved me unless I acted like the perfect little socialite. But that was never really me, so I don't know that she ever really loved me at all."

If it was possible to see a heart break through the eyes of its owner, Alice saw it in Frank at that moment. He looked down at her with so much pain in his eyes that she felt awful for burdening him with her emotions.

He seemed to have been able to tell what she was thinking by the regretful look on her face, for he instantly pulled her back into his arms.

"Alice, why didn't you tell me sooner? I want to know these things, sweetheart. If you're hurting, then I want to know so I can try to make it better."

"But," she whispered, feeling a fresh waves of tears coming on. "It hurts you when I tell you. I can see it."

To her surprise, he chuckled softly at this. "Of course it does, Al. I love too much for it not to. But that's okay. I'd rather hurt a little if it makes things easier for you."

She smiled a small smile and look up at him. "Do you really mean that?"

"With all my heart," he answered, cupping her face and kissing her forehead. "I know I tease you about everything, but each of those things are just reasons why I love you."

At this point, Alice could not have suppressed a grin even if she was still downstairs yelling at her mother.

"Here," Frank continued, pulling his class ring off his finger. "I want you to have this."

Alice looked up at him in surprise. "What? But Frank, I can't –"

"Sure you can," he told her warmly, threading the ring onto the thin chain that hung about Alice's neck. "It's a promise, all right? My promise to you that even when I'm not around, I still love you more than anything."

Alice felt tears spring back to her eyes, but this time, they were of happiness. She jumped into his arms and he caught her easily, hugging her tightly as she sniffled and swallowed a lump in her throat.

"Frank Neville Longbottom, you are the single most amazing man I have ever met."

- - - - - - -

-FLASH-

Lily groaned along with the others as a bright light blinded them all momentarily. The nine of them were sitting on the couches and armchairs in the Potters' large living room with a merry fire burning in the grate.

"Is that really necessary?" Vanessa asked from her spot across from Remus at the chessboard.

Sirius grinned, plopping down between Lily and Alice and wrapping an arm around each of them. "Sure it is. I want us all to remember the good times."

Alice, whose face was still a little blotchy from crying, laughed lightly. "With you around, how could we forget anything anyway?"

"Then let me rephrase," Sirius corrected himself. "_I _want to remember all the good times. I may make it memorable for you lot, but you sure are lacking when it comes to my own memory."

Everyone laughed, but they were interrupted by another –FLASH–.

"Sirius!" James moaned, rubbing his eyes. "If you ever misplace that thing and it just happens to wind up in a pile of horse dung, don't look at me."

Sirius pretended to look hurt. "James, I can't believe you would do that to your best mate!"

"He told you not to blame _him_," Lily reminded him. "I, on the other hand, would have no problem doing it myself."

They all laughed again before a comfortable silence overtook them, broken occasionally by the soft voices of Remus and Vanessa moving their pieces around the bored.

"Full moon is a few days from now," James mused quietly a few moments later, and everyone tensed slightly, looking to Remus.

"Don't worry, I plan to be gone by then."

James and Sirius exchanged looks before grabbing Peter and Remus and dragging them both up the staircase.

Alice frowned. "I wonder what that's about?"

Lily shook her head. "No idea. With them, it's best not to think about it."

- - - - - - -

"You're staying, Moony," James told him firmly once they were locked safely in his large bedroom.

"No," Remus told him. "It's too dangerous here. There aren't miles of forest to keep us hidden."

Sirius huffed. "Don't give us that. We go right up to the castle all the time during full moon and you've never hurt anyone. We can keep you in check."

"But what if –"

"Listen," James cut him off. "We aren't going to let you anywhere near Vanessa, or anyone, all right? We can handle it."

"Besides," Sirius added, "The Map has been doing that weird thing again and we've got to fix it before we go back to school. We can't do it without you."

"_And,"_ James pressed on before Remus could even open his mouth. "It's Christmas tomorrow. You have to stick around."

Remus sighed, looking to Peter as though he were his last hope.

"I think you should stay," the boy told him firmly, and Remus sighed in defeat.

"All right, all right. But you have to swear to me that you won't even let me within viewing distance of the house."

"Agreed," the other three chorused.

Remus nodded. "Thanks."

Sirius clapped him on the shoulder. "Anytime, mate. Now, if you don't mind, I would like to get back to my hot chocolate. No offense to the elves here, Prongs, but Lily's is to die for."

"I know," James grinned. "Which I still find amazing. Remember that time she tried to make a cake and ended up with the ingredients all over her instead of in the bowl?"

Sirius howled with laughter at the memory. "I still have the pictures from that day, even the one of you licking her across the face."

"Ah, that was my moment in heaven," James said dreamily, grinning at him while Remus and Peter just looked at them in confusion, "Anyway, you're right Padfoot. Back to the hot chocolate and the angel that makes it!"

- - - - - - -

Christmas morning dawned bright and snowy, and in spite of the previous night's disaster, Alice jumped happily out of bed. She ran a hand through her now-short blonde hair, spiking it in the way she liked, before grabbing her bag of gifts and setting off across the hall.

She entered Frank's room first to find him sound asleep and the little witch grinned evilly. She took a few steps back, got a running start, and flung herself onto the bed with a loud "Good morning, Frank!"

He grunted in surprise, but seemed happy to see her as he sat up in bed. She brushed her fingers through his matted hair and pulled out a brightly wrapped package. "Merry Christmas!"

He laughed and took it from her before leaning over to his bedside table and grabbing an even brighter gift and handing it to her. "Merry Christmas yourself."

Alice smiled at him and sat crossed-legged on his bed. "I didn't really know what to get you," she began. "So I sort of went with something I thought you could use."

Frank grinned as he pulled away the paper and opened the box. Inside was a butterbeer mug with the Hog's Head Logo splashed across it, as well as a fresh rag.

"Alice, this is perfect!" he said happily, pulling her into a tight hug. "I've always been a little wary of the glasses there."

Alice sighed in relief, glad that he liked it. He was not an easy person to shop for. She opened her own gift and found a variety of her favorite candy, as well as a book about becoming an Auror.

"Oh Frank! This is perfect too!" She told him excitedly. Alice was not much of a bookworm, but she immediately snuggled into his side and began to flip through the pages.

"Merry Christmas, Al," he murmured into her hair.

"Merry Christmas, Frank."

- - - - - - -

Vanessa smiled widely as she watched Remus open the present he had gotten him. Inside, there was a variety of books on his favorite subjects and by his favorite authors, and at the bottom sat a thick notebook filled with Vanessa's findings on werewolf rights, including the speech she had written to present to the ministry.

"Vanessa," he saw softly as he scanned her tiny writing. "This is… amazing."

Her grin grew wider and she hugged him tightly. "I had hoped you would think so. I know you started off sort of pessimistic about the whole thing, but I really am getting somewhere. I just have to make an appointment to go before the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures and the Werewolf Registration and Control Committee and I can present my case."

He stared at her in mild disbelief, though he did look rather impressed.

"But, Remus," Vanessa went on, bracing herself for his reaction to her words. "When I go, I want you to come with me, as well as James and Sirius and the others." As she spoke, she refused to meet his gaze, staring instead at the pattern on the bedspread. "I want this to be real for them, you know? I could stand up there and talk all day long, but if you all come with me, it'll give my case a face."

As she finished, she glanced up at him, and he looked undecided. "Vanessa, if I do that, it'll be in the news, people will see… Everyone will know."

Vanessa bit her lip and took his hand in her own. "I know, Rem, but what if it works? You would be a hero. You would be the werewolf that finally stood up and did something. Just think about it, please?"

He gave her a small smile. "I'll think about it, especially after everything you've done for me."

- - - - - - -

"Good morning, Lily," James said softly as she stirred awake. "Merry Christmas."

"James?" she asked groggily. "What are you doing here? I thought you said you'd get some sleep."

He chuckled lightly. "I did sleep, I slept on the floor in here. I didn't want you to have any nightmares on Christmas Eve."

Lily had to laugh. "Sometimes, you amaze me."

"Only sometimes?" James joked, grinning. "Anyway, here, this is for you."

He handed her a thin box covered in green wrapping paper.

"James, you didn't have to –"

He cut her off. "When are you going to learn that it's pointless to argue with me?"

"When pigs fly," Lily told him with a shrug.

"That shouldn't be too difficult," James grinned. "Any idea where I can find a pig?"

Lily laughed lightly and carefully tore the paper off the gift. She opened the box to reveal a beautiful bracelet made of tiny emerald crescents – a perfect match to the necklace she had received from a secret admirer what felt like a lifetime ago.

"James, it's gorgeous," she said softly.

He smiled, placing it around her wrist. "But it's nothing compared to you."

Lily rolled her eyes. "So it _was_ you who sent that necklace last year? I figured as much."

"Of course, did you like it?"

"Very much," she told him. "But now I have to throw it out the window."

James raised an eyebrow, looking confused and Lily laughed at his expression. "Back when we were trying to figure out who it was, I told Alice and Ness that if it was you who sent it, I would toss it out the window. We never found out, so I never had to. But now…"

James laughed as well. "Then I'm glad I didn't tell you sooner. How about we make it our little secret and you hang on to it?"

"Well…" Lily mused, pretending to think very hard. "I suppose that could work."

He grinned and she remembered something.

"I got you a present too," she told him, reaching under the bed and pulling out a square package. "It was Sirius' idea, but I hope you like it."

"I have to like it," James said simply. "It's from you."

She rolled her eyes as he opened it, but smiled as he laughed loudly. She had framed the picture of herself and James standing in her old backyard. She was covered head to foot in cake batter and he was licking her face. The Lily in the portrait was trying half-heartedly to push James away, but he stood his ground and every once in a while, the two would burst into silent laughter.

"Lily," he said, grinning ear to ear. "I couldn't have asked for anything better. Except you, of course, but this is definitely the next best thing."

* * *

**IMPORTANT:**** So I'm still having a bit of writer's block on this story, so I am requesting that each of you tell me in your reviews what songs you use to overcome your own writer's block, as many of you said to use music. (: A happy and a slow or sad song would be perfect. Title and artist please, THANKS!**

**NOT SO IMPORTANT: And another chapter of fluff! I'm really wanting to get them back to school, because I think that's easier to write, so that will probably be next chapter.**

**And I updated _Secondhand Wings_ today as well, for those of you who are reading it.**

**ALSO: Check this out, it's a little thing I made for the four girls, I plan on doing it for all the characters, but for now it's just them:**

**___http:// i776 . photobucket . com / albums / yy41 / pottedlilies /RFWWGIRLS . png_ -- TAKE OUT THE SPACES**

**PLEASE REVIEW!!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_Sure, she's pretty, but it's about more than that. You two connect. Anything you throw at her, she can throw right back. You figured out what's going on in that predictable head of hers in under five minutes, but something tells you that her heart would take about five years._


	37. We Wear the Mask

**THANK YOU: **_**hpdreamer500, iamagriffin, Kmonae, StaceyGibbly, Puzzsta, Sarahrules336, SecretlyAGryffindor, -the smell of autumn-, mica259, raneonthewyndoepain, ivyflightislistening, Super Cara, WhiteCamellia, pinkpearl89, AGRIMLIKEDOG, mayzie, Rider Arya Svit-kona, whatcanidomolly, **_**and**_** Marteczka's Quill**_** for the GREAT reviews! You guys are the best, and you totally rose to the occasion of helping me overcome my writer's block! I tried literally everything you said and each thing inspired me a little more, so I think I'm totally over it! Yay! So this one's for all of you!**

**IMPORTANT****: Just a reminder, Vanessa is the only one who knows all of the boys are Animagi. Lily and Alice know nothing and Stella only knows about Sirius.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the poem **_**We Wear the Mask**_**.**

_Let your heart tell you what to do, but let your brain tell you how to do it. – pinkpearl89 (:_

**Chapter Thirty-Seven: We Wear the Mask**

Stella was seated in the kitchen across from a very old man with a long white beard and blue eyes that twinkled behind half-moon glasses. They sipped tea made by the house elves as the man surveyed her with a curious look. It was only when she began to shift uncomfortably that he spoke.

"As I told you, I am Professor Dumbledore, the Headmaster of the Wizarding academy for young witches and wizards, known as Hogwarts."

Stella only nodded, growing uneasy under his intense stare. She chose to look into her mug, rather than at Dumbledore, and watch the tea swirl gently in her cup.

"I imagine you are also aware that after recent events, you are no longer safe," he continued, as if he had not noticed her preoccupation. The tall blonde only bit her lip and nodded again, not wanting to think of what would happen to her once Lily, Sirius, and the others went back to school. "So I am here to offer you a place at Hogwarts."

Stella's head snapped up at this, a disbelieving look on her face. "What?"

"Obviously, you could not study magic, but I assume you will be safer in a place where you have friends who could protect you. Of course, should you choose to stay in the Muggle world, I shall have one of the Ministry's best Aurors assigned to you. It is your decision."

She did not want to show him how much she wanted to go with her new friends, in spite of the danger that she knew awaited her should she choose to go to Hogwarts – Bellatrix being only one example – but even though she kept her face blank, Stella had a strange feeling than he could see straight through her.

Dumbledore smiled knowingly and pulled a out a small phial that contained an amber liquid that she did not recognize.

"As I am sure Miss Evans has informed you, it is impossible for Muggles to enter the Hogwarts grounds, or to see the castle. This potion shall bypass the enchantments, should you choose to take it. It is up to you, Miss Redwood, you have until term begins to decide."

He stood and Stella jumped up as well, placing the potion carefully in her pocket. "Thank you, sir, I mean, I don't even know what to say, you're too kind."

"Am I please you think so, Miss Redwood," he said kindly, blue eyes sparkling. "I look forward to seeing you at Hogwarts."

Before she could say a word, he had vanished with a faint _pop_, leaving Stella with much to think about, yet so little to decide.

- - - - - - -

"Wow, I can't say I've ever done anything worth getting a house call from the Headmaster," Sirius joked, grinning widely at her.

Stella rolled her eyes, but smiled in spite of herself. The two of them were walking through the thick snow that covered the grounds of Potter Manor, bundled up in coats, and watching the horses stamp their feet and trot around the pond.

"He wants me to come to Hogwarts," she told him, her breath clouding in front of her as she refused to look him in the eye.

"Really?" he asked, sounding as though he was trying to hide a bit of excitement. "What'd you say?"

"Basically I inferred that I would think about it."

"What's to think about?" he went on, leaning against the fence that blocked in the horses.

"Well," Stella began, patting the nose of a chestnut stallion that had approached them. "Things like what about Bellatrix, and the fact that I'm obviously not going to fit in anywhere, that at a place like that I would just be useless."

"That's not true," Sirius reasoned immediately. "I bet you'd be loads of help with Muggle Studies."

Stella had to laugh, finally turning to look at him. His nose was pink and snow was melting in his hair, leaving it slightly matted and messy. "Yeah, what would they do? Dissect me?"

He pulled a face, hiding a grin. "If that's really what you think would give us the best insight into how you lot work, then I suppose we could try that."

They just looked at each other for a moment before bursting into light peals of laughter that echoed off the nearby trees.

"But seriously," he added, brushing his damp bangs from his eyes. "Will you come?"

Stella fiddled absently with the bottle in her pocket, watching the horses huddle together for warmth and almost longing to be as carefree as they were. "Honestly, I would like to, but I just don't know that it's a good idea. I mean, if Bellatrix and the others hold a grudge and come after me, I would just be putting you guys into more danger."

Sirius actually let out one of his bark-like laughs and grinned at her. "We already risked our butts by deciding to find a way to come rescue you. It wasn't the way we had planned on getting inside, but it worked. Anyway, after that, we'd take on dear Bella for you any day."

Stella grinned up at him, but her face fell quickly. "I still wouldn't want you to get hurt."

"Look," he went on, locking his grey eyes to her caramel brown ones. "You're a friend now, definitely one of mine, and that means that we can get hurt for each other, all right? That's just what you do."

Stella nodded. "But putting you in unnecessary danger is _not_ something that a friend would do."

"Come on," Sirius said sarcastically, grinning once more. "You know I live for the thrill."

Stella had not laughed so much in so long, that it was almost as if a little piece of Heaven had decided to take a place in her heart as she and Sirius continued their walk around the spacious, snowy grounds of Potter Manor.

- - - - - - -

That night, the moon rose full behind a thin layer of clouds. Vanessa sat at her window and watched three shadowy figures steal across the grounds of the Potter Manor. The stag led the way, for it had been he who had taken Remus into the woods earlier that day. The rat followed, barely visible through the thick grass. The dog, big, black, and shaggy, took the rear; he turned, facing Vanessa's window, and she saw the moonlight glinting off his teeth – Sirius was smiling up at her.

She gave him a little wave as he bounded off after the others, and a knot twisted painfully in Vanessa's stomach. Every full moon made her like this – worried, sleepless, and almost sick – but she would never let anyone know that. Remus would leave her, for her own good, the instant he knew that she spent every full moon sitting up late into the night, waiting by the window until his morning return.

It did not help that Lily and Alice knew nothing of the others boys' Animagus forms. If they did, she could talk to them honestly, and maybe they could understand how she felt. They tried to sympathize, but it was difficult for them to do so without feeling the desperate worry she did once a month.

She watched James creep beneath the trees, leading the way for the others through the dense underbrush. Soon, they had vanished from her sight. So Vanessa sat, one of Remus' jackets wrapped tightly around her, silently praying to anyone who would listen that the four boys make it safely back.

It helped, she had discovered, to reread through the speech she had so meticulously written to bring before the Ministry. Just knowing that a few weeks from now, she might be standing before the Werewolf Registration and Control Committee making some difference in his life was enough to get her through.

She heard a distant howl, one she only made out because she was listening for it, and ice gripped at her heart. Sometimes, nights like this made her wonder why such bad things happened to good people. Remus was sweet and kind to everyone (except perhaps Isabella), and yet this horrible fate had been thrust upon him. There had been a time when she thought maybe it happened because it highlighted his goodness in ways that simply would not have been known otherwise, but she had soon decided that she was wrong. Perhaps it brought out the best in him during the day, but he would have been able to do that on his own.

Her only guess was that bad things happened to the best people simply because life was not allowed to be a fairytale – not for anyone. No matter what someone did with their lives, it was mandatory that some part of it was imperfect. For those who chose to take a darker path, their lives were riddled with inadequacies and deficiencies, so there was no need to thrust anything else upon them. For those that chose to walk in the light, however, life could be magnificent, so whether it was fate, or destiny, or god, or magic that made the decision, those people were put into some of the worse situations imaginable. It was just the way things worked. There was no such thing as perfect, and Remus was the prime example.

Yet, to make a perfect person, wouldn't it be necessary to have imperfections so that person had everything possible? After all, without tough times and flaws of character, there would be no change, no strength, no growth. So in reality, it was because of the darkness that there was light, and imperfections were the only way to have anything close to flawlessness.

- - - - - - -

The sun was finally beginning to peak over the horizon when Vanessa first saw them emerging from the forest, but she knew immediately that something was wrong. Remus seemed to be limping badly, and Sirius was holding his arm at an awkward angle. Vanessa grabbed her wand from the bedside table and sprinted down the large marble staircase and out the back door.

"What happened?" she asked James, who was helping to hold Remus up. Vanessa rushed to his other side and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, hoping to support him as well.

James' face was white and there were a few cuts across his forearms, but otherwise, he seemed unharmed. "It was a different setting, he changed and got confused, I suppose he's used to Hogwarts. This time, he sort of freaked out. We could hardly control him."

"Vanessa," Remus said in w hoarse whisper. "Vanessa, I could have –"

"Don't," she told him quietly. She knew all too well what he was going to say, and Vanessa did not want to hear it. "It doesn't matter, because you didn't."

"But –"

"No buts. Where are we taking him?"

"House elves," Sirius explained, his voice slightly strained as he held his arm gingerly. "They've got better healing magic than any of us."

She simply nodded, supporting Remus as best she could.

- - - - - - -

Remus sat on a table in the brightly lit kitchen in Potter Manor, a tiny house elf bouncing around him, tracing its long fingers over his various injuries, healing them instantly. Other elves were doing the same to the boys while Vanessa was watching worriedly from a little ways away.

He had made a heart-wrenching decision as he had limped out of the woods. There was no way he and Vanessa could continue to be together, for he was far too dangerous. If he ever hurt so much as a hair on her head, well, he would never forgive himself.

Remus waited as the other boys waved their goodbyes and bounded up the stairs to find breakfast before looking at his girlfriend, fighting the pained expression trying to cross his face. Vanessa, who did not need much to be able to read him, ran forward as soon as she saw him open his mouth.

"No," she whispered. "No, Remus, please."

If tears could be heard rather than seen, that was the tone in Vanessa's voice. His heart was not breaking, rather, it was shattering as he stared into her chocolate brown eyes.

"Vanessa," he sighed. "I can't keep doing this. It isn't right and it isn't fair to you."

"We've been through this, I don't care!" she told him, staring back fiercely.

"And I do," he argued, for what must have been the thousandth time. He took both her hands between his own, praying she would understand. "I care too much to run the risk of hurting you. You don't understand, Ness."

"Then help me to," Vanessa pleaded, staring up at him.

Remus sighed, squeezing her hands gently. "I don't know how."

"Remus, you can't do this," she went on. "We've been through this. And I'm still safe, all right? You've never done anything to hurt me. And I don't see how breaking up makes me any safer."

"But what if the next time is the one that changes everything?"

She was beginning to look angry rather than sad, and Remus would have smiled at the way she dealt with things, but this was far too serious for that. "You can't live your life on 'what ifs,' Rem! If everyone did that, no one would ever live at all because they would be too afraid of what might happen. Sometimes you just have to live and deal with the consequences."

"But this is not one of those times," he told her softly, shaking his head. "The consequences are too heavy."

"So I'm not worth the risk?" she asked, narrowing her eyes and ripping her hands away. "Is that it?"

"No, no, no," he said immediately, but she was beginning to back away. "_I_ shouldn't be worth the risk to _you_, Ness, but for whatever reason I am. I'm just trying to protect you."

"Bullshit," she spat, brushing past him and heading for the stairs. "Bye, Rem."

And that was it.

He thought about chasing her, but then he realized that this was what he wanted, was it not? He wanted to remove himself from her life in order to protect her, but it was so hard to not chase after her at that very moment and grovel at her feet. It was better this way, maybe she would be safer, and eventually, happier with someone else.

Remus, on the other hand, doubted he would ever be quite as happy as he had been in the last few months. Three amazing things had happened to him in his life, Hogwarts, his friends, and finally Vanessa, and with only three blessings, it was difficult to give one up. Knowing that she would learn to be happy and fall in love with someone else was the only thing keeping him going, but also the thing that was tearing him apart. She could never know that, though, he wouldn't let her, because Vanessa tended to want to take care of those that were hurting, but he was one project that he could not allow her to complete. 

- - - - - - -

Vanessa slammed her bedroom door behind her and flew to her bed, where she began throwing her things haphazardly into her trunk, not bothering to fold her clothes or match her socks. Each time she flung something on top of the growing pile, she did so with all the force she could muster, trying with all her might to keep the angry flame burning in her heart, for she knew that when it went out, she would break down completely.

She cared about Remus so much, more that she had ever cared about a boy, and he had thrown it away – at least, that was what she was telling herself. She had thought she had found someone who would protect her heart by whatever means necessary, but instead, he chose to protect everything but her heart. It was more painful than anything she had ever been through, but she refused to cry, she refused to let sadness overtake her. Anger was always better.

There was a soft knock and the door opened with a _creak_. Vanessa did not turn around to see who it was – it did not matter anyway.

"Vanessa?" Lily asked softly, coming around the other side so she could look her friend in the eye. "What's wrong?"

The brunette merely grumbled something that she knew would be hard to make out, but Lily was smarter than that, and she understood immediately.

"_Idiot_," she hissed, speaking, Vanessa knew, of Remus. "And I always thought he was intelligent, but that solves nothing."

"That's what I said," Vanessa growled, continuing her ferocious packing. "But nothing did any good. I was stupid to think that this would ever work out."

She knew that Lily was on her side, but the redhead gave her an angry look all the same. "You were not stupid, Nessa, you were following your heart, and there is nothing in the world wrong with that. Actually, I imagine things would be a lot better these days if more people followed their hearts and not their heads. Remus was – is – a good guy. He's making a bad decision, but you were happy with him, so don't regret anything."

Vanessa sighed. Lily was right, Lily was always right, but that didn't make it hurt any less. She felt tears stinging in her eyes and brushed them away hastily before turning to her best friend, shoulders slumped and feeling defeated. "What am I going to do, Lily?"

Lily hugged her tightly for a moment, and it was more comforting than Vanessa would have guessed. Getting hugged was like being needed, and after her fight with Remus, being needed was the best feeling in the world.

"You're going to come with me to the store and were going to buy mint chocolate chip ice cream and go back to your house and watch Muggle action movies."

"Action movies?" Vanessa had to ask. "I thought they were supposed to be sappy romances."

Lily shrugged, helping Vanessa pack more neatly. "That's what they say, but as usual, 'they' are wrong. Who wants to watch something cheesy and romantic after fighting or breaking up? You need something that pumps you up, not something that reminds you of him."

Vanessa had to smile. She really loved Lily's logic.

- - - - - - -

Lily loved Vanessa's house. It was big and open, but that was not the best part. Her favorite was the fact that Vanessa was a half-blood, and therefore, her house was a flawlessly imperfect combination of the Muggle and Wizarding worlds. Her parents were avid ecologists, and had left the house for a mid-winter study of frogs in hibernation, so Lily, Alice, Vanessa, and Stella had the place to themselves that night.

The four girls sat together on a big, squishy couch wearing old sweatpants and t-shirts, each with a tub of their favorite ice cream in hand. They watched tragedies, comedies, horror films, and action movies, but never anything romantic, because sometimes, even teenage girls find artificial love to be overrated.

While Alice was searching the shelf, trying to find her favorite thriller, Vanessa turned to Lily.

"What am I going to do about the hearing?" she asked, eyes downcast. "I actually had a date scheduled."

"We're still going to do it," Lily told her automatically, taking a bite of her strawberry ice cream. "Even if it's just the four of us. You worked too hard on it for us not to. Besides, I you don't get a chance to change the world every day. You have to take those chances when they come along or you'll regret it for the rest of your life, even if you're too angry at the time to care."

Lily meant every word of it. She would take the speech to the ministry herself if Vanessa refused to do it. It was something that needed to be done regardless of personal feelings.

Stella nodded in agreement. "And you'll do a great job, Vanessa, I can feel it. I think you're too passionate to do this with any mediocrity, and that's the only way anything will ever be accomplished."

"And if you don't do it," Alice added, seeming to read Lily's mind. "I'll march straight down there and do it myself."

Vanessa seemed to brighten as the scary music of Alice's movie began to play. "You'll all really come with me?"

"Absolutely."

- - - - - - -

"Remus, I'm not supposed to be the smart one," James told his friend as they sat in his bedroom around the Marauder's Map that they were repairing. "But I have to tell you that this is a mistake."

"It's for her own good," he insisted, looking tired as her performed another spell on the Map, trying to make the tiny names show up above the right people. "Even if that good doesn't start until she finds someone else, someone who can actually take care of her."

"Vanessa's tough, Moony," James went on. "She doesn't need to be taken care of."

"All the same," Sirius added. "Every girl _wants_ to be taken care of, even if they don't admit to it."

"But –"

"I'm not finished yet, Prongs," Sirius said, cutting him off with a wink. "The 'taking care of' isn't something like can you get a job, can you support them, because they're fine doing that for themselves. They just want someone who can take care of them emotionally."

James knew he looked impressed, for his expression of mirrored on the faces of Remus and Peter. "How do you know all that?"

Sirius shrugged, surprisingly modestly. "I just pay attention."

"That's wonderful and everything," Remus argued. "But I want her to have someone who can take care of her in every way, whether she wants it or not. She deserves that much."

"You don't know a whole lot about love, do you, Moony?" Sirius asked with a grin. "It has everything to do with what she wants, and nothing to do with what she deserves."

"But isn't that just how she would end up getting hurt?"

It was James' turn to play love guru. "That's what love is though, isn't it? The risk of getting torn to pieces and the trust that the other person won't do that to you?"

James heard the scratching of a quill and looked over to see Peter taking better notes than he ever had in any class, which caused him to burst out laughing. When Remus and Sirius noticed as well, they joined right in.

"We sound like a bunch of girls," James choked out, gasping for air.

Sirius chose not to answer until he could breath properly again. "Maybe they've got it right – sometimes, at least."

Remus, who had stopped laughing the fastest, looked at them seriously. "I'm not saying I'll do or say anything, I just want to think about it, but what do you guys honestly suggest that I do?"

- - - - - - -

The train ride would have been bad enough worrying about the Slytherins, who were sitting merely compartments away, but being without the four Marauders was worse than Lily would have imagined. Frank would be joining them soon, but something about having the boys with them made everything so much safer, the mood so much lighter. Sirius with his catching smile and his bulk, Peter with his little brotherly admiration, Remus with his wise tone and understanding eyes, and James with his protective tendencies and caring heart. She would never have guessed that she would miss them already.

But it would be all right. Remus would overcome his temporary loss of rational thought and realize that he needed Vanessa as much as she obviously needed him; they balanced each other far too well to enjoy being apart. Even Remus' tough resolve would wear away eventually.

In the meantime, Lily sat with her hand tightly grasping her wand, like a little girl with her security blanket. She knew that Alice, Vanessa, and herself could defend themselves should anything happen, they were tough, and Stella was as well, she could fight hands-on – should it come to that.

But so far there had been no disturbances, everything was just as it would be had nothing happened over the holiday break. The tension in the room, however, was almost visible. All four girls sat with their arms crossed tight, knees bouncing and lips ready to bleed from being bitten.

And if being on the train was not bad enough, what about when they actually got to the school where there were hundreds of dark empty corridors in which one could stumble upon an unfriendly face? It looked as though they would have to travel in groups.

On top of everything was Constance's physical absence, which Lily knew would become a heavy weight upon them whenever they were somewhere she should have been as well. But in spite of all of her worries, Lily knew she had to keep a brave face. Vanessa was liable to break down at any moment, her mask of anger slipping away, and Alice, as she had told her mother, was too passionate to do anything but wear her heart on her sleeve, which meant that every emotion the little blonde was feeling – even fear – showed through plain as day.

Lily did not mind, though, it gave her something to strive for, something worth doing, and being friends with three teenage tragedies make putting on a smile seem all the more worthwhile. _We're not 'teenage tragedies,'_ she reminded that overactive part of her imagination. _If we were tragedies, there would be no hope for things to get better._

The compartment door opened suddenly and Lily, Alice, and Vanessa jumped up, wands at the ready, but it turned out to be James, standing there with his hands in a defensive position.

"Oh," Alice said in a small voice. "Sorry, James."

He gave her a smile and turned to Lily. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Um," she answered slowly, looking to the others for confirmation. "All right, then."

He led her out into the hall and she almost tripped over Sirius, who was sitting right outside the compartment.

"What on earth-?" she began, but he grinned up at her.

"Just making sure you lot were safe, Lily-flower. No need to worry."

Lily tried to be angry at their lack of faith in her, but seeing all three of James best friends guarding their door was almost too sweet for words. She simply smiled and waved before following James into the empty compartment across the hall.

"I know you left sort of fast," he started, shifting back and forth as he stared into her eyes. "So I never got to tell you."

"Tell me what?" Lily asked, truly interested in whatever he had to say.

He sighed. "Look, Remus and Ness are our best friends, and things are going to be a little weird between them for a while," James told her. "But, Lily, I just recently earned your friendship, and it means too much to me to let anything mess it up."

Lily had to smile at that. "And you want to make sure that this won't come between us?"

"Exactly," he told her with a grin, reaching up to ruffle his hair, but catching himself, which actually made Lily laugh. He brightened at this and continued. "So just promise me that even if our friends aren't around each other as much, we'll still find time for each other."

Lily studied his face for a moment, taking in the utter sincerity he put behind his words, and nodded, already knowing that she would miss life without him. "And there's no need to worry, because Remus and Vanessa will have to get back together," she told him reassuringly. "Vanessa's too strong-willed to let anything else happen."

"And Remus loves her too much to stay away," James added. "Even if he doesn't realize it yet."

- - - - - - -

After the longest train ride she had ever endured, Vanessa immediately made her way up to Gryffindor Tower upon their arrival at the school. She took the steps two at a time up to her dormitory and shut the door tightly behind her.

She hadn't cried yet, and she didn't plan to, for tears did no good no matter how much they may have wanted to be shed. She told herself to not weep because it was over, but to be happy because she had been the only girl he had trusted enough to try with.

Vanessa rummaged through her bag and pulled out her notebook – the one she had been using for her werewolf rights campaign – and flipped the worn pages open for the hundredth time. Rereading through her speech, she crossed out some of the more personal references that she had added, but left it generally the same, knowing that she had written it from her heart and that that was the only way to get through to anyone.

Her hearing was still set for a week from that day, and she fully planned to go through with her plan, especially knowing that the other girls were behind her. And maybe if this worked out, then Remus would be more inclined to take her back. Vanessa wished that she could tough it out, suck it up, and tell him that she didn't want to get back together, but he meant too much to her for her to have that kind of strength.

So she would go on and give her speech and pray for nothing short of a miracle.

- - - - - - -

Contrary to popular belief, there were some emotions that Alice managed to hide from the world – or, most of it. Due to Vanessa's break-up and Stella being in constant danger anywhere she went, the little blonde had swallowed her feelings about leaving her mother. It had been one of the hardest things she had ever had to do, regardless of the way she had been treated. Alice had never been particularly fond of her mother, but still… she was her mother.

To be honest, Alice was not sure what she should think or feel anymore. Things were growing far too complicated and she didn't know whether to laugh or cry or fight, but she felt as though she had to do something.

So she sat cross-legged on the couch in very un-Alice-ish clothes, sweatpants, and old t-shirt, and just stared into the fire. The was something comforting about the constantly changing flames that the little blonde could not quite place, like watching the rain or listening to the ocean.

Frank came and sat down beside her, but he seemed to understand that sometimes, talking was not the answer – not even for Alice. So he simply sat there in her company as if hoping that being there was enough.

And it was.

* * *

**This chapter was not quite as long as previous ones, but this was just where it needed to end, I think. It sort of covered everyone. And don't worry about Remus and Vanessa, just saying. (: Next chapter will most likely be the hearing, which I am really looking forward to writing, ****IF THERE IS ANYTHING YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE IN NESSA'S SPEECH, PLEASE LET ME KNOW! ****I am totally open to suggestions on that and I would LOVE to include multiple opinions. (:**

**I really hoped you liked this chapter, despite all the sadness going around, at least Stella's part is getting happier!**

**PLEASE REVIEW!!**

**And lastly, if you haven't checked out my new story, **_**Secondhand Wings**_**, you really should. I am quite proud of it to be honest, if you have any questions, let me know!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_We wear the mask that grins and lies,  
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—  
This debt we pay to human guile;  
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,  
And mouth with myriad subtleties._

_Why should the world be over-wise,  
In counting all our tears and sighs?  
Nay, let them only see us, while  
We wear the mask._

_We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries  
To thee from tortured souls arise.  
We sing, but oh the clay is vile  
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;  
But let the world dream otherwise,  
We wear the mask!_


	38. When Heaven and Hell Decide

**Hey everyone! This is the SPEECH chapter! Haha, I really hope I've met all of your expectations! It was pressure, let me tell you! Anyway, this is mostly a Remus/Vanessa chapter, so I really hope you like the two of them! I never really know with my OCs XD.**

**THANK YOU: Marteczka's Quill, WhiteCamellia, Sarahrules336, SecretlyAGryffindor, Rider Arya Svit-kona, Puzzsta, hpdreamer500, -the smell of autumn-, iamagriffin, StaceyGibbly, raneonthewyndoepain, shroomy-eyes, mica259, MssrsMWPP, karenwrites, pinkpearl89 (EXTRA THANKS for looking over the speech!), Daraddict, and xExpectoxPatronumx for the WONDERFUL REVIEWS! This one is for all of you!**

**Disclaimer: No matter how many chapters I write, I shall never be any closer to owning anything.**

_I don't know a thing about anything that I'm saying, all I know is my heart is for you._

**Chapter Thirty-Eight: When Heaven and Hell Decide**

Plain and simple, the week between arriving at Hogwarts and the hearing was nothing short of Hell for a certain brunette. She found herself skipping classes in which she had to sit by Remus, and then kicking herself for not being brave enough to face him. She and Stella grew close, for the blonde did not attend lessons. They would sit and talk and rant about the stupidity of the male population. That had to be the only highlight, however, for she had to see Remus in the Common Room, at meals, and there was no escape in the library, for that was where he tended to be.

More than once, she tried to seek refuge on the grounds, but now that she knew to look, she found claw marks and paw prints everywhere, which only led her to think of him. She would wander the corridors, but once the gossipers of Hogwarts had heard the news, she could not walk down a hallway without being berated or consoled – neither of which she wanted. The dormitory was her next choice, but to lock herself up there felt like giving up, and she had not – not yet. Hopefully, the hearing would change everything – the laws, and Remus' mind.

- - - - - - -

Vanessa played with the sleeve of her robes anxiously. This was the day, the day she would finally make her speech before the Committee for Werewolf Registration and Control.

She stood in a long, brightly lit hallway with Lily, Alice, and Stella on her sides as they waited for the counsel to be ready for them. The other girls did not look nearly as nervous as she felt, but then they all believed that she would do so well. It _was_ a good speech, she had to admit. All four of them had worked on it together in the past week and it spoke in a voice that echoed each of them effortlessly.

Vanessa jumped slightly when the door opened and she was told to enter, but she squared her shoulders and did so without hesitation, the others right behind her. Lily, Alice, and Stella took seat on a bench that sat just to the side of the podium set up for Vanessa, and she took her place behind the magical microphone, not that she would really need it in this room.

It was large, but not so big as to drown out her voice. It had a high, curved ceiling and rows and rows of benches that were lifted the higher back one went, with the judge's seat front and center. In general, it we very much like an average court room, but that did not make it any less intimidating.

They went through the various rituals that would allow her session to begin, but with each minute that ticked by, Vanessa grew more nervous. She was not entirely sure why this was, for she could usually speak to people without a problem, but she supposed it could be due to the fact that she could honestly change people's lives here, especially that of someone she still cared about very deeply.

And had that someone not told her that she could change the world? He had not necessarily meant his world, but he had felt she could do it nonetheless.

That eased her anxiety just a bit.

There had been quite a good turnout, in Vanessa's opinion. Not only was the entire Committee there to listen, but there was a large number of average witches and wizards who had heard about her campaign and had come to give her support or criticism.

"Miss Vanessa Channing Reese, on the rights and restrictions of werewolves," someone introduced.

She took a deep breath, stepped up to the podium, and began to speak.

"For most of each month, werewolves walk among us, some blending in flawlessly with the humans around them, others choosing the darker path of living openly as the monsters they have been taught to believe that they are." Her voice was slightly shaky, so she breathed deeply once more before continuing. "The first group is one that many wizards see as devious, deceptive. They believe that those werewolves wear a mask of regularity, and therefore the Ministry created laws long ago to prevent these so-called fraudulent beings from harming those around them.

"I am not here to dispute the fact that some laws are necessary for safety; I am here to bring to your attention that many of the rules that werewolves are forced to abide while in their human form are irrelevant and serve no other purpose but to destroy the quality of life for those who could lead a fairly normal one."

Vanessa paused for a moment and glanced at Lily, Alice, and Stella, who all grinned at her, giving her a bit of strength. "As you all are aware, there is a werewolf in attendance at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and I know than many of you are against this notion. However, a few months ago, our Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher set an essay in the hopes that, in writing it, some intelligent student would be able to expose the werewolf for what he is. That did not happen, for many in the class already knew and accepted this student regardless. My point, however, is not the fact that this werewolf was able to make and keep good friends with or without his "furry little problem," it is that while I was writing my essay, I began to realize that becoming a monster once a month _does_ affect this student's character, but not in the way one might imagine.

"Part of the essay was to explain how to identify a werewolf, and, like everyone else, my first thought was the tufted tail and elongated muzzle. But then I got to thinking, and decided that if one was close enough in actuality to make out such characteristics, it would be too late anyway. So I began to wonder, what makes a werewolf different while in_ human _form? I began to observe the werewolf that is in my class, and I was pleasantly surprised. I was already aware that he was a good person, but I never connected that goodness to the monster inside of him."

She looked around the room and almost dropped her notes – for James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus were filing into the back row. Remus gave her a weak grin and her heart melted on the spot, filling her with a new strength and determination that she never knew she could have. She cleared her throat and swallowed a smile, before continuing, her voice stronger and clearer than ever.

"I learned that he studies hard, and does everything in his power to make perfect marks on everything. I used to take it for granted, but now I see that he does so to make up for the few nights where he is so much less than perfect. I learned that he is kind to everyone, regardless, and I have come to believe this is due to the fact that he is afraid of hurting them during full moon. Everything he does is directly related to the shame he feels for being what he is, thus making him one of the best people I have ever met, because he sees his flaws more clearly that most, and does all he can to compensate.

"He is a very loving person, though the law does not permit him to show it once he is of age. The Ministry restricts him from marrying, or having any relationship with anyone for fear of creating another monster, but after what I have told you, is it not wrong to even consider him a beast? He is careful during full moon; he hides far away from others to ensure their safety, so how is that monstrous? Is a monster not simply someone of an evil persuasion who takes pleasure in harming others? If that is the case, than this student is the farthest thing from, and deserves the same rights as anyone else.

"That is the point that I am trying to make today. That it is wrong to deny rights to someone who goes beyond the average goodness to become the best person he can be. He truly blends in with humanity so flawlessly, that most of the school is unaware of his condition. So why should he suffer like some repulsive animal? Why is such a wonderful person doomed to live a life in isolation and restriction? Why can someone who only loves others be hated by those who fear him? And on that note, why do they fear him? It is understandable that one should fear a werewolf when transformed, but for the rest of the time, that fear is only ignorance.

"Werewolves walk among us every day, and more often than not, we cannot tell the difference. Why is that? It is because there is no difference in the first place."

She stopped and there was applause – mostly from the observers who had come to watch her speech. Vanessa smiled shyly back at Remus and was about to approach him when one of the Committee members – a squat witch with a large pink bow in her mousy brown hair cleared her throat with a high-pitched, "_Hem, hem_."

Vanessa stopped and looked at her, the witch could be no older than twenty-five, but she seemed to have the attention of everyone in the room.

"Your point has been made," she said in a sickly sweet voice. "But _I_ would like to point out that there are some who chose to live as werewolves all of the time. They are never caring or kind or any of those _lovely_ things you mentioned. They are _monsters_."

Vanessa was slightly taken aback, but glanced at Remus. Just having him there was enough to give her the courage to narrow her eyes and answer firmly. "They only believe they are monsters because the Ministry treats them as such. Besides, there are exceptions to every rule. Should we believe that all Muggles are like Hitler? Or that all purebloods are like Voldemort?"

"Names have power, Miss Reese," said the witch in a superior tone. "I would not utter that one within these walls."

Vanessa would have liked very much to stand on a table and scream it at the top of her lungs, but she chose not to. "I would appreciate it if you did not change the subject. My point is that goodness and evil are not restrained by blood or being, anyone can be fully one or the other, regardless of whom or what they may be. Is it any reason to punish a group for the actions of an individual? I think it's only right to give those who wish to blend into society a chance to do so, rather than throwing so many rules at them that it becomes impossible."

The witch with the pink bow looked as though she wished to go on, but the Head of the Committee held up a hand. "Thank you for that moving speech, Miss Reese. We shall consider all that you have said."

"As in you won't do anything," Vanessa assumed, heart falling slightly.

He gave her a sympathetic look. "Our government is one of tradition, and this is one that has worked for many years. We saw no reason to change it before you spoke, and little reason to now."

Vanessa opened her mouth to speak, but Lily beat her to it. "That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! Sometimes breaking tradition is the only way for any progress to be made."

"But is progress what we want in this case?" asked the witch with the bow, and Lily and Vanessa stared at her in disbelief.

"Absolutely," Alice answered firmly, coming to stand beside Lily and Vanessa at the podium. "If we don't move forward, that means we move back, and to do so would be a disgrace to any government."

"What do you know of government?" the witch continued, and no one looked as though they wished to stop her. "You are merely children."

It was Stella who answered, her voice quiet as she sat on the bench. "But children often see things more clearly than adults, for they are able to look at situations without years of prejudice behind them."

"You are a Muggle, you have no place in this court."

Vanessa was really beginning to hate the short little witch with her ridiculous pink bow. "And that's the ultimate problem, isn't it? We designate the world into so many segments, while believing that only one should make the decisions for all of them. It's not right. It's exactly what the pureblood mania is all about – superiority of certain groups based upon blood. If we refuse to listen to the opinion of the other races, than how can we have a unified and strong world?"

The witch was about to reply when the Committee Head cut her off once more. "That is enough, Dolores. Miss Reese, we shall review your case and get back to you with any changes we may wish to make."

Vanessa knew that his words meant little, but thanked him and nodded nonetheless. They were dismissed, and she, Lily and Alice stepped down to join Stella. The girls were immediately surrounded by audience members, who were commending the speech and telling them how their views had been altered.

"Damocles Belby," one man introduced himself. He was tall and thin with a bald patch on the crown of his head and warm brown eyes. "I am a Potions Master, young lady, and I would like to tell you that you have motivated me to continue work on a potion I had all but given up on. It gives the werewolf memory and control while transformed."

Vanessa's face broke into a wide grin, despite the fact that her case had been lost. "That's fantastic! You would be doing them such a service – I can't even begin to tell you. But you're wonderful."

"Well," Damocles began, blushing slightly. "I wouldn't say that, but thank you Miss, for inspiring me."

It was Vanessa's turn to blush. Many other witches and wizards were trying to speak to her, and Belby was soon pushed aside by the crowd. It was amazing, the brunette thought, that even though she may not have made a legal difference, she may still have changed the world.

Faces came and went, but there was a certain one that she was waiting for, and he only appeared once the room had cleared. Lily, Alice, and Stella dragged the other boys outside to give them a moment alone, but Vanessa found that she did not even know what to say.

"Ness, I don't, I mean, I'm so – I just…" he stuttered. Clearly she was not the only one at a loss for words.

She felt tears welling up in her eyes, and could have sworn she saw them in his as well – there was so much emotion there it was hard to tell. But she knew what she needed, even if she did not know how to say it. So, regardless of the fact that he still might not take her back, she jumped into his open arms and burst unrestrainedly into tears.

- - - - - - -

James strode across the hallway and slammed his fist into the wall in aggravation, frown lines appearing deep in his brow. Lily winced slightly as his hand made contact with the stone, and glanced nervously at the others. Sirius seemed to be thinking along the same lines as his best friend, and Peter looked as though he was trying quite hard to seem as tough as they were. Alice, on the other hand, looked conflicted, as though she had no idea whether she wanted to blow up in anger or be reduced to tears, so she settled for rubbing her temples in a rhythmic, soothing manner. Stella simply seemed to be wondering where she fit into everything. Lily was torn between all them, contemplating who she should try to comfort first. Sure, she was feeling what they were, but she often found that by taking care of them, she herself felt better as well.

Sirius did not need it, for she saw Stella place a gentle hand on his shoulder, and he gave her a weak smile, so she turned to James instead.

"How could they not change things?" he fumed, pacing back and forth and front of them.

Lily sighed. "Tradition is everything to these people. I suppose they are going to stick to it no matter what anyone says."

"And that is the bloody worst thing I've ever heard," Sirius growled, following the path James was wearing in the stone floor. "That's why my family is like it is – why everything evil is like that, really. It's all because of tradition."

"That's the problem with any government, though," Stella assured him. "It's a bunch of old people who are in it for themselves and who believe that as long as they do what those before them did, it shall yield the highest personal profit."

"You didn't see it though, did you?" Lily asked them in slight disbelief.

James seemed to calm down a bit at the sound of her voice. "See what?"

"How many lives Vanessa really did change. All those people that came up to talk to us – they can make a difference. After all, the laws are not necessarily the most important thing – yes, Sirius, I actually said that – sometimes what's most important is people's perception of them. If everyone sees them as demeaning and useless, they will eventually become obsolete with or without government approval."

"But do you think people will actually do something about what they heard?"

Lily gave the smallest Marauder a smile. "We have to believe that they will, Peter."

- - - - - - -

Remus held her tightly, rocking back and forth and stroking her hair while Vanessa sobbed into his shirt. She tried to stop on multiple occasions, but simply could not bring herself to do so.

"Is this because they aren't going to change anything?" Remus asked her softly.

Vanessa shook her head, face buried in his chest. "I d-don't even kn-know, Rem," she told him through huge gasps of air.

"It's just a combination of everything?" He put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her away a bit so he could look into her eyes.

She shrugged, but nodded as well, unable to make up her mind on anything in her current state, which caused Remus to chuckle slightly and pull her back to him. Even in near hysterics, she savored the closeness, hoping with all her heart that it was not the last time he held her this way.

"Do-don't you s-see, Rem?" she asked, her voice thick and muffled by his shirt. "T-tearing us ap-part is what th-they w-w-want."

She felt him tense, but he did not pull away. As if for security, Vanessa wrapped her arms tightly around his waist.

"I know," he whispered. "But they want it for your own good."

Vanessa laughed. It came out high-pitched, loud, and gravely-sounding, but she did not care. "Y-yeah, because ruining my l-life is totally m-making things better. You know the last w-week has been hell, d-don't you?"

"Of course I do," Remus told her, absentmindedly running a hand through her long dark hair and tucking her head beneath his chin. "Because it's been even worse for me."

Vanessa snorted, and she knew he smiled at that.

"I mean it, Ness. I spent the entire time imagining you with some other lucky bloke who could actually take care of you and give you everything you could ever want. I saw you as happy with whoever it was, and it killed me to know that I couldn't do that for you."

Vanessa leaned back and fiddled with a button on his shirt as she spoke. "You really don't see how happy you make me, do you?" She looked up into his tired grey eyes and saw so much confusion there, but also, a longing to understand. "I can be myself with you, Rem, exactly as I am without worrying about you judging me. You let me speak my mind and you value my opinions, and I value yours. I meant everything I said in my speech – you really are one of the best people I have ever met. You're kind, and loyal, and strong, and willing to do anything for the people you care about, even if it hurts. I could never image finding a guy that would make me anywhere near as happy as I am with you."

- - - - - - -

The boys were still upset, so Lily linked her arms through James and Sirius' and pulled them toward the elevator. "Come on, let's go get something to eat."

The brightened considerably at this, and jammed the button for the ground floor as soon as the doors clanged shut.

"I suppose Remus and Ness will be able to find us," James reasoned, running a hand through his hair.

"Of course they will," Alice told him with a musical laugh. "If I was ever looking for you lot, the nearest restaurant would be the first place I checked."

"What are you saying, Hinton?" Sirius joked, instantly lightening the mood as only Sirius Black could.

Alice gave him a sly smile, clearly enjoying the distraction.. "I'm saying you practically eat a dinosaur for every meal, Black, are you going to make something of it?"

He stood in front of her with his arms crossed threateningly, looking down at least a foot to see her, but little Alice glared right back.

As if on cue, they simultaneously burst into laughter.

Lily grinned, her arm still linked with James', who seemed to be holding on for all it was worth. It did not even bother her, for she loved moments in which they were all happy far too much to mess it up.

- - - - - - -

"No, Ness, I don't see that, because it just seems so impossible," Remus told her.

Vanessa stared up at him, wondering how on earth she could convey her feelings toward him. It was so hard, for she and Remus had a complicated relationship. Not only complicated in the fact that his condition seemed to play a major role in everything, but also because neither of them had much experience with relationships – Remus because he never wanted to risk it, and Vanessa because she never found anyone she liked enough to share her heart with.

Neither of them really knew how to show each other the way they felt, but what Vanessa liked most about Remus was the fact that, with him, she was never afraid to try. She knew that he would never look down upon her she did something wrong, and perhaps that came from his condition – from the fact that through it all, he always saw his soul as the most tainted; he thought he was the only one who could ever be at fault for anything. He made her feel like the angel in the story by believing himself to be the devil, and while she knew that was completely wrong in every way, it was nice to be treated as though she could do no evil.

Not that that was the only reason she liked him, no, she liked everything about him – even the bad things. Which, in essence, was the sign of a good relationship, so why were they not still together?

"Remus John Lupin," she began in her best threatening voice. "If you don't take me back after all of this, I swear I'll hex you from here to Venus and back."

He chuckled lightly, and she could feel it vibrate through her entire frame, which was still pressed against his. "I believe that, but it doesn't change the fact I could still hurt you."

"Killing me would be a kinder punishment," she whispered into his chest.

He tensed again, but this time, he held her tighter. "You don't mean that."

"Yes, I do." It was then that she realized that she was speaking the truth, that life without Remus was worse than no life at all. Had the past week spent in hell not proved that with harsh certainty? And it was then that she realized how much she truly did care for him, so she took a deep breath and a huge leap of faith in the man holding her in his arms, and told him something she never had before. "I love you, Remus."

After what felt like a century, he pulled away and gently put a finger under her chin, the look in his eyes firm and determined. He placed the softest and sweetest of kisses on her lips before answering strongly with what should have been obvious from the beginning. "I love you, too."

* * *

**Okay everyone, I really hope that went the way you wanted it to! I know it worked out for me. XD I just hope that her speech was as eloquent as you all requested it to be! (: And I was going to draw their fight out, but I just couldn't do it. XD What do you think of them, anyway?**

**Now, I have over six hundred reviews on the story, and believe me, I AM THRILLED! Like, you don't even know how much I appreciate your wonderful loyalty. And on that note, I honestly believe that I have the greatest reviewers on this site, no lie. Your reviews are always long and juicy and they often inspire later chapters, so I just wanted to take this time TO THANK YOU ALL SO SO SO MUCH! You are really the reason that I keep this up.**

**On that note, there are a few stories that I read personally that I feel do not receive nearly the amount of reviews they deserve, so I would like to point all my fabulous reviewers in their directions as well, so here is a brief list of titles that you seriously need to check out:**

_**Unforgettable, **_**by**_** pinkpearl89**_** – this is COMPLETE and one of the greatest stories I have ever read (L/J, of course XD)  
**_**Phoenix Fire**_** (Title to be changed to **_**Loving Bookends**_**), by **_**pinkpearl89**_** – sequel to **_**Unforgettable**_**!  
**_**Dance With Our Hearts On Fire, **_**by**_** Marteczka's Quill**_**. (L/J)  
**_**Stolen Promises, **_**by **_**UndercoverHufflepuff **_**(L/J)  
**_**So Breakable**_**, by **_**–the smell of autumn**_**– (L/J)  
**_**The Makings of Forever, **_**by**_** SecretlyAGryffindor**_** (L/J)  
**_**Trial By Fire**_**, by **_**SnarkySidekick**_** (L/J)  
**_**Between The Lines, **_**by**_** ashl3yj0nas43v3r**_** (Draco/Hermione)  
****And, of course, **_**Secondhand Wings**_**, by **_**PottedLilies**_** AKA, ME! :D (George/Alicia)**

**HAPPY OLYMPIC-WATCHING! GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF YOUR TEAMS! GO USA!!**

**Thanks again you guys! And, naturally,**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you. – Winnie the Pooh (:_


	39. V for Variation

**THANK YOU: _xExpectoxPatronumx, Kmonae, MssrsMWPP, SecretlyAGryffindor, mica259, Marteczka's Quill, mimimi213, triskadekaphobia, -the smell of autumn-, Puzzsta, Sarahrules336, ashl3yj0nas43v3r, hpdreamer500, Super Cara, ivyflightislistening, iamagriffin, Rider Arya Svit-kona, Peter Griffin, _and_ lana-bear_ for the great reviews! You all are awesome!**

**And check out my new one-shot, _Catch Me A Star_!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything. (:**

_I could kiss a million girls and it still wouldn't mean as much as holding your hand._

**Chapter Thirty-Nine: V for Variation**

Lily woke early in the morning to the excited squeals of a tiny blonde. Alice was dancing around the dormitory, singing a love song and throwing back the curtains on the windows.

"Alice," the redhead groaned. "What are you doing?"

"Don't you know what day it is?" she asked, skipping to the bathroom.

Oh, right. It was Valentine's Day; of course Alice was in a good mood. Lily, on the other hand, was not. In the past, she had spent the entire day avoiding James at all costs, but now that they were friends, there was no way she could do that. However, she did not want him to declare his undying love for her or throw a party, or do any of the things he had in the previous years. It would put a strain on their friendship, because honestly, Lily was beginning to struggle with her feelings for him.

He was an amazing friend, but did that mean that she wanted more than that? Not really. Perhaps she had spent so long telling herself that she could never have feelings for him that her heart had begun to believe it. But then, things had changed again that day at the Ministry; when he and the boys had shown up, it felt as though some nervous weight had been lifted off her heart. And that scared Lily more than she would have liked to admit.

Then there was the fact that if he was serious about his feelings, then she was only hurting him worse by being his friend, and friends shouldn't hurt each other like that. But she also did not want to give him false hope. It was all just too confusing.

So Lily slid out of bed and jumped the shower, all the while trying to prepare herself for the day ahead.

- - - - - - -

Alice was the first to be ready that morning, so she danced down the stairs and into the Common Room, looking for Frank. It was quite nice, she decided, to have a Valentine before the day began. At this time last year, her stomach had been in knots and she had almost thrown up all over Frank when he asked her – not that she would ever admit that.

That was the next best part about the holiday, though. It just so happened to be their one year anniversary.

She waited for him in her favorite armchair by the fire, and he appeared on his staircase a moment later. He grinned at her and hurried over, pulling a dozen red roses from behind his back, he had even thrown in a white one, and Alice smiled at his thoughtfulness.

"Frank, they're beautiful," she told him, inhaling their light fragrance.

He smiled down at her, taking her hand and kissing her lips tenderly.

There was a wolf whistle behind them and they turned to see Sirius striding down the stairs. "Get a room, will you?"

Alice felt her cheeks heat up slightly, but she laughed anyway. That boy sure knew how to ruin a moment.

- - - - - - -

"Good morning," Vanessa greeted Remus, sliding onto the bench next to him at breakfast. "Er, happy Valentine's Day?"

Remus chuckled. "Do you feel as weird as I do about the whole holiday?"

"Thank goodness," Vanessa told him, letting out a sigh of relief and a small burst of nervous laughter. "Yes."

"So we don't have to do a Frank and Alice today?"

"Absolutely not," she answered, wrinkling her nose and pouring a bowl of cereal.

"Normal day?"

Vanessa grinned. "Normal day."

Remus took a bite of his toast, and Vanessa watched him watching some of the other couples in the Great Hall. "Hey, Ness?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

Vanessa smiled widely and kissed him on the cheek. "I know."

- - - - - - -

Stella pulled on her long sleeves and plopped down in the chair Alice had vacated moments before when she and Frank had went down to breakfast. The blonde grabbed _Hogwarts: A History_ from the table and flipped to the place she had stopped at the night before. There was not much for a Muggle to do when she could rarely leave the tower for fear of being attacked by Slytherins, so she had decided to read up on the school and on the world she was living in.

"Hey, Stell," Sirius said, taking the seat next to her.

"Hey," she smiled, putting her book down for a moment. "Why aren't you rushing off to breakfast today?"

Sirius shrugged and rolled his grey eyes. "You think I want to go sit with Remus and Ness – not that they're that bad – but Alice and Frank? Not to mention James and whatever his plan is this year to make Lily fall for him."

Stella laughed and thought for a moment. "You know," she began, picking at a stitch in the chair. "I don't think James has much to worry about. Lily can't resist him forever."

"That's what I've been telling him for years," Sirius told her with a smirk.

"Well, it's true," she reasoned, tucking her legs beneath her and leaning on the armrest. "I mean, who doesn't want to be adored?"

Sirius let out a bark-like laugh. "Lily's not like other girls I guess."

"And James isn't like other boys."

"Touché."

"So anyway," Stella went on slowly, looking back at the thread she was playing with. "Are you doing anything special today?"

"Me? Nah," he told her with a confident grin. "I don't have to – the girls come to me."

Stella forced a laugh and did not let her face fall. She had thought maybe she had found something in him, but perhaps he was just one of those boys that a girl had to like no matter what. _Wait_, she thought. _Like? I can't like Sirius. No, that can't happen. He knows what happened to me, he would never want me._

But the heart was the one thing that reason and sense had no control over, and Stella's heart seemed to be getting over her past and moving on to something she was telling herself she could never have. It was difficult to say which was worse.

- - - - - - -

"Hello, darling," James called, catching up with Lily as she walked down to breakfast. "Happy Valentine's Day."

He handed her a single red rose, and Lily raised an eyebrow. "That's it? I might just be impressed."

"Are you kidding?" James grinned. "No, no, no. I have big plans for today. Friends or not, I have to keep with our tradition, right?"

"So, by that you mean that I still get to say no without feeling bad about it."

James shrugged, still smiling as she brought the flower to her nose. "Since it's tradition. Then again, if the Ministry taught us anything, it would have been that tradition is a bad thing."

"Excellent," Lily told him with a sly smile. "That means you don't have to do anything today."

James laughed lightly. "Believe me, Lils, that's one tradition only you can break."

- - - - - - -

Alice giggled as Frank tickled her at the breakfast table, earning a number of looks from the students around them. The little blonde saw Remus and Vanessa glance at each other and then look away grinning, but otherwise, the stares were of jealously and annoyance. Alice did not care though, she was happy, and that was all that mattered at the moment.

That had to be her favorite thing about Frank, no matter what was going on – whether it was losing their case for werewolves, or leaving her family, or the war that was growing closer by the day – he managed to make her forget those things, but at the same time, it was not like he was trying to make them any less important, rather, he was showing her what was _most_ important.

And right now, all that mattered was that they were together, that all of them were together, and that – in their own ways – they were all happy. Before all the trouble began, Alice would never have imagined that simply being happy would be enough, but now, if she could make one wish, that would be all she would ask for.

- - - - - - -

Vanessa had to smile as she watched Alice and Frank. Sure they were a little over the top, but anyone could see that they loved each other. Their relationship was so different than her own with Remus, but Vanessa had to admit that she preferred the easy, never overly-affectionate way that Remus had about him. She was probably the only girl she knew who did not want her boyfriend to make a big deal out of Valentine's Day, and he was probably the only boy to oblige to that whole heartedly.

"So," she asked, taking a bite of her cereal and looking across the table at her friends. "Do you two have any big plans for the day?"

Frank smiled. "James showed us the passage that leads to Hogsmeade. Al and I are going to go to the Hog's Head after class."

"What about you?" Alice asked eagerly. "What are you doing today?"

Vanessa glanced at Remus, to find him looking back. They both held in laughter and bit their lips, knowing Alice would not approve of their answer.

- - - - - - -

Sirius groaned as the third girl approached him since he had sat next to Stella, and it was hard for her to contain a smile at his obvious annoyance.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Sirius," the girl said seductively, flipping her perfectly curled golden brown hair over her shoulder and giving him a smile whiter than Stella had ever seen.

"Thanks, Sue," he replied, smiling politely. "You too."

"If there's anything you want today," Sue continued, dropping her voice to a whisper. "I'm your girl."

He winked at her, but it looked nothing more than habitual to Stella. "I'll keep that in mind."

Sue blew him a kiss, and pranced off to join a few of her giggling friends.

"Would you be offended if I threw up on your shoes?" Stella joked, running a hand through her own messy blonde hair.

Sirius smiled, and it looked more real than before. "I can't say I'd blame you, at least."

Stella laughed lightly. "On the upside, she was prettier than the others."

"Yeah," Sirius agreed with a shrug. "But surely you don't take me as being _that_ shallow."

"Just pointing it out," she told him, biting her lip to hide a smile.

Sirius let out a laugh. "Well, lots of girls are pretty. I think I got over that fact somewhere along the way. I figured out that more than that matters."

"Good, than Sue has a chance. She seemed nice enough," Stella said, rolling her eyes and laughing slightly.

"Oh yeah," Sirius agreed sarcastically. "Guys would kill for that kind of generosity in their girlfriends."

They looked at each other for a moment before the laughter exploded from deep inside their chests.

- - - - - - -

Lily blushed slightly at James' blunt statement. How could he be so brutally honest with her like that? Why did he always have to not only wear his heart on his sleeve, but offer her the shirt he was wearing it on? She hated having that kind of power over him without fully knowing her own feelings for him.

Everything was just so confusing.

"Well," she said, deciding to keep up her usual hard shell against him – at least for now. "I guess we'll keep it up for a while then."

He face did not fall, but she could see the effort it took him to make sure that his grin stayed in place. Lily was surprised at how much it hurt her to watch that.

"Okay," she began again, this time allowing her own defenses to be the first to drop. "Can I talk to you honestly for a minute?"

His hazel eyes looked confused, but he nodded. "Of course, darling. You always can."

Lily bit her lip and pulled him into an empty classroom near the Great Hall, noting that it was the same one they had talking in the night that he parents had died. It seemed appropriate that it becoming their place.

James' hazel eyes swept the room, and Lily knew he was thinking the same thing, but she ignored the aching feeling she was getting and looked him straight in the eye.

"Here's the thing," she started, but was unsure of exactly what she should say.

"Lily," James said softly, taking one of her hands in his. It felt so familiar after the many nights he had spent by her bedside, fighting away the nightmares. "If you don't, you know, feel the same way, it's all right. I mean, you can't –"

"But that's just it," she cut him off, staring down at her feet. "I don't even know how I feel anymore. I'm just confused."

"What do you mean, darling?"

It's just that you're so wonderful, and sometimes, I know that I feel something for you, but then it's like I totally shut down. Like all the years I spent telling myself that I hated you made me actually think that I could never feel anything good for you. But then we became friends, and now it's always back and forth and I've been trying to hide it recently because of everything else that's been going on, and –"

"Lily," James said with a small laugh, and Lily knew she had been talking to fast and rambling on simply by the amused look on his face. "Lily, it's all right."

"No, it isn't," she informed him, putting her free hand on her hip, while the other was still held tightly in his own. "I just – I don't want to hurt you anymore."

He gently placed a finger under her chin and tilted her eyes upward, so they were gazing into his. After a soft, sweet kiss on her forehead, he looked at her seriously. "You would hurt me more by lying to yourself, love. I can wait – I've been waiting – for you. Whenever you're ready, just know I'll be here."

She nodded and threw her arms around his waist, pulling him close and burying her face in his chest. "Honestly, I think I used to like having such power over you, James," she told him softly as he held her like he would never let her go. "But now I hate it. I wish more than anything that I could give all the power to you."

"There's always the wishing well. Kidding, Lily," he added when she had looked up at him hopefully. "I would never let you waste your wish."

"It wouldn't be a waste," she grumbled, which made James laugh.

"By the way, I'm still going through with my plan for this Valentine's Day, but by all means, feel free to say no."

- - - - - - -

Alice and Frank walked hand-in-hand through the secret underground tunnel that would lead them into Hogsmeade.

"You know," Alice began, whispering as though someone might here her. "Last Valentine's Day, I told Lily and Nessa that of everyone, I hoped you would be the one to ask me to be your Valentine."

"Really now?" Frank asked with a grin, wrapping his arm around her waist. "Because there was no one else I would have wanted to ask."

Alice felt chill bumps erupt where his skin made contact with hers as he rubbed his fingers along her hip beneath his shirt. "We don't have to get there at any specific time, do we?" she asked him.

He looked confused for a moment, but answered, "No."

The little blonde grinned and jumped into his arms, kissing him hard on the mouth. "Good," she purred, and wrapped her arms tightly around his next and pulling his lips back to hers. Frank turned and pressed her back to the wall, one hand holding her bum to keep her up, and the other cupping her face. Their lips moved in harmony, perfectly timed with each other's. Alice tangled her fingers through his hair and held his face to her as their breath grew more ragged and shallow. Eventually, he pulled away to take a breath, and Alice moaned as his lips traced her jaw and down her neck, leaving a line of chill bumps behind them.

"I love you," he whispered, nipping her earlobe gently, and Alice's breath caught in her throat.

She managed to croak out an, "I love you, too," before tilting her head down and recapturing his lips with her own.

- - - - - - -

Vanessa sat with Remus on a couch in the Common Room. Many couples were making out in plain sight, but the two of them were content to simply sit together, his arm around her waist as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Do you think we're strange?" she asked him softly. "Just out of curiosity."

Remus chuckled, and she could feel it vibrate through him, making his steady heartbeat speed up just slightly. "Yes, actually, I do. But I like it this way."

Vanessa snuggled closer to him, resting her hand on his chest and closing her eyes contentedly. "Me too, Rem, me too."

- - - - - - -

"So," Sirius began, sitting in a mercifully unoccupied corner of the Common Room with Stella, who was lying on the floor reading _Hogwarts: A History_. "Who d'you think will end up pregnant after today? My money's on Alice."

He winced slightly as Stella hit him in the knee with her book. "Don't be gross. Alice is definitely not the type. The only person I'm worried about is whichever girl you decide to allow seduce you tonight."

Sirius laughed, but dared not tell her that the only girl he would even consider allowing to seduce him was the one that had not yet tried. But, of course, she was still uncomfortable about the whole thing because of what Pearson did to her, Sirius knew, so he would never try to do anything to her. Not that he would 'do anything to her' anyway, but he did not want to hurt her further or lose her trust.

"Yeah?" he asked. "Well, you don't have to worry about me."

"Oh?" Her voice was off-hand as her turned the page. "And why is that?"

Sirius thought for a moment. "I've taken a vow of chastity."

Stella literally rolled on the floor laughing, though it helped that she had already been down there. "Wow; that might have just made my day."

Sirius gave her his best wolfish grin. "Then my work this Valentine's Day is done."

- - - - - - -

After dinner that night, Lily left the Great Hall to see James standing at the top of the Grand Staircase with a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

"Oi! Evans! Be my Valentine?" he yelled, making everyone in the vicinity either laugh or groan.

Lily was one of the laughers. "Let me think about it! Hmmm… No!" she called back with a grin.

James did a very showy slide down the rail and came to a stop right in front of her, holding out the flowers, which Lily found to be a mixture of red and white roses, lilies, and sunflowers. It made for an awful looking combination, but Lily could not think of anything she would like more.

"So how about you not taking a romantic broom ride with me?"

"No, of course not," she answered, taking the flowers. "Wait, what?"

But it was too late. He grinned widely and grabbed her hand, dragging the redhead out onto the grounds and all the way to the Quidditch pitch.

"You tricked me!" she accused, hiding a smile, as he grabbed his broom from the shed.

"I know! I can't believe I didn't think of it sooner!"

Lily laughed again, noticing that she did that a lot when James was around. "But I hate flying."

"Correction, love, you hate flying _alone_," he said with a smile, mounting his broom and holding out his hand for her.

Lily rolled her eyes and gently placed her flowers on the ground, taking his hand and climbing on in front of him. "Just so you know, if I throw up, it's going to be all over you."

He chuckled, but did not reply. Instead, he pushed off into the starry night sky, his wild black hair blowing in the wind that encircled them. Lily gasped when she saw how high they were and grabbed his hand, which was gripping the broom in front of her. James laughed into her hair and wrapped one strong arm around her waist, pulling her to his chest. Lily was surprised at the feeling of security she got from being so close to him. This was definitely one of those times when she was leaning towards feeling something more from him, but out of habit, she tried to push those feelings away.

"James, it's beautiful up here," she commented as he circled the pitch and took her over the Forbidden Forest.

"Yeah," he agreed. "I don't love Quidditch just for the popularity, you know."

Lily smiled, even though she knew he couldn't see it. "You're not helping all my confused feelings, James."

He squeezed her waist tighter and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Oh, darling, that's the point."

* * *

**I hope you guys liked it! I know it wasn't as long as usual, but that's all there was. XD The next chapter will be longer, I promise! And Happy Late Valentine's Day!**

**Oh! And I've had a couple people request to use my characters (or in one case, simply tell me he was going to XD). And I just wanted to let you all know that I am perfectly fine (and totally flattered!) with you using Vanessa or Stella or Constance or anyone, just credit me and let me know! Thanks! Oh, and if you want any more information about their backgrounds or family or whatever, just ask! (:**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_If a star fell each time I thought about you, then the moon would truly realize what loneliness is really like._


	40. Head and Heart

**THANK YOU: _Rider Arya Svit-kona, Peter Griffin, lana-bear, evilrobinbird, Sarahrules336, Kmonae, xExpectoxPatronumx, Marteczka's Quill, Puzzsta, JezebelRedfern, mayzie, SecretlyAGryffindor, WhiteCamellia, Carmina003, Cloee99, LozzT-In-Time, MssrsMWPP, hpdreamer500, raneonthewyndoepain, jamesywrites, _and_ pinkpearl89_ for the marvelous reviews! You guys are the best! This chapter is for you!**

**This chapter is sort of different then the others, there isn't interaction, it's all thoughts. So I hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own James, Lily, or anyone you recognize.**

_He grabbed __my hand__, put it on__ his heart__ and asked if I felt it.__Of course, I said__ yes__ and he was just like,__ that's yours__ – it __beats for you __and that will never change._

**Chapter Forty: Head and Heart**

James stopped the broom right outside the window of Lily's dormitory and carefully helped her inside. She landed lightly on the floor and turned back to face him.

"You know," she began, fighting a smile. "I'm not sure if I should thank you or slap you."

James chuckled. "I think thanking me would have the worst affect. I'd be so shocked I would probably fall off my broom."

"Which weigh the odds more in that favor," Lily joked, allowing herself to grin up at him. "Either way, you might want to go before I make up my mind."

He winked at her and turned on his broom. "The least I can do is thank _you_, darling," he told her softly, the wind catching his voice and almost carrying it completely away. "You make each year better than the last."

And then he was gone.

Lily let out a breath she did not know she had been holding and made her way to the bathroom, where she washed her face and got ready for bed, all the while trying to calm her pounding heart. What had gotten into her? James had never had such a physical effect on her before, but now she felt as though she was flying and falling all at the same time, and she was not sure whether she liked the sensation.

Her head was still refusing to allow any thought of possibly feeling something more for James Potter, but for once in her life, Lily felt her heart tearing itself in the opposite direction, which was scaring her out of her mind. Never had she had to choose between the two, they had always generally agreed on everything, but now it seemed as though that was changing.

- - - - - - -

Peter hated Valentine's Day. It was just another time to remember that he was not as good as his friends. They all had someone – a very pretty girl – with whom they could spend the day, while the little mousy boy had no one. So he sat alone in a corner of the Common Room, watching Stella and Sirius laugh, Remus and Vanessa talk by the fire, and occasionally seeing the silhouette of James of Lily glide past the window.

It was all so unfair. Sure he loved being best friends with some of the most popular boys in Hogwarts, but at times it made him feel so inadequate, as though he had nothing to add to the group, as though he only hindered their potential.

Of course, James, Sirius, and Remus would never tell him something like that. They always included him in their pranks, and they did their best to teach him all they could if ever he needed help, but Peter wondered if maybe that was simply due to the fact that they were all good people, that they only befriended him because they felt that they had to.

He could not help but remember that day on the train when Bellatrix had cornered him. She had sneered hateful words that would forever be burned into his mind. _"No wonder your friends always seem to protect you. You're rather hopeless, you know that?" … "Why risk themselves to save someone as feeble and useless as you?"_

But they had come for him, and they had made sure to get him out, but sometimes he wondered what they would have done if it had only been him, rather than Stella, Sirius, Remus, and Vanessa as well.

Peter hated Valentine's Day. With each one that passed, he only ever felt more distant from the friends that said they loved him.

- - - - - - -

Sirius lay in his four-poster, staring up at the ceiling and listening to the soft sounds of the wind blowing outside the window. There was something wrong with him – there had to be. Why was he seeing Stella as anything more than a friend? He was supposed to only go for the superficial girls that he would never have to commit to, the ones that would never bother to get to know who he really was. Once someone truly knew what he had been through – well, no girl would want someone so damaged. And maybe he was afraid of that rejection, or maybe he was afraid of simply opening up, but he knew he could talk to Stella, and most importantly, he knew she would understand.

But that did not mean that a relationship would work out for them. Both were scarred and bruised, and together, they would simply be the broken pieces of an unsolvable puzzle – neither ever really fitting because the edges were so torn. So why could he not accept that? Why was there a tiny murmur in his heart that told him not to think so much, that he would be happy if he only followed his feelings? If he did so, he knew he would simply hurt Stella further, for she was finally growing to trust him as a friend, and he could not bear it if she started seeing him the same way she saw Pearson.

On top of all of that, why did he care so much in the first place? He was Sirius Black – he had girls practically throwing themselves at him, so why should he waste his time on someone who went for comfort before looks and who would be tough as nails before opening up? How could he want someone who would make him wait ages before he would even be allowed to touch her, and who could talk insightfully about life, but who knew nothing of his own world? Was he really growing up so much that he was choosing the things that were actually important? And was that really what he wanted?

Sirius was incredibly confused. He rarely – if ever – questioned himself, and now, it seemed that he could not find an answer to anything. He hated the open, vulnerable feeling that it gave him, but at the same time, it was almost… nice. It was like he finally had a reason to show his heart to someone – someone who he actually trusted to take care of it. But that was ridiculous, why did he want someone to take care of his heart? He did that fine on his own – though usually by simply shutting it away. Sirius did not need a girl to watch over it for him like some love-struck puppy.

But maybe that was what was different about Stella, maybe that was why he was so intrigued by her. She did not need someone to take care of her own heart – in fact, she would get hurt physically before allowing someone else to possess it. She could take care of it herself, and did not want the help of anyone else, so perhaps she understood where Sirius was coming from, and maybe she could see that he wanted to keep his own heart safe, while letting her protect her own.

Still, even if that were the case, they were both broken and damaged. Two negatives may make a positive, but two wrongs do not make a right, and to try anything would more than likely lead only to disaster.

And yet, with all the evidence as to why it would never work, there was still a small – almost undetectable – flame burning his heart, forbidding him for giving up. And that flame only seemed to grow stronger.

- - - - - - -

Vanessa smiled to herself as she got ready for bed that night. Just as she and Remus had parted for the evening, an owl had swooped through an open window in the Common Room and dropped a letter at her feet. Upon opening it, she found the note to be from none other than Damocles Belby, who was informing her that his Wolfsbane Potion was beginning to go the way he wanted it to. He did not think he would have it ready anytime soon, but he promised that once he did, she would be the first to know.

The brunette made a mental to note to thank Remus again for encouraging her, what seemed like years ago, to try to change the world. When he had first mentioned it, Vanessa had not actually taken it seriously, but now she had inspired someone to continue their work, as well as persuaded numerous others to fight for werewolf rights. She hoped that maybe enough people would petition that they would actually make a difference – for she had no doubt in her mind that they would eventually, she only hoped it was in time to make Remus' life a little better.

On top of everything, the whole experience at the ministry had brought out a new, protective side of Remus that she absolutely loved. It was not protective in the way he always had been, as though he was trying to protect her from himself. No, now he seemed to be protecting her from the overwhelming sadness and anger she had felt when he had broken up with her. He was finally taking care of her heart, which was what she had always wanted.

So Vanessa climbed into bed and hugged a pillow tightly, imagining that it was Remus and thanking Merlin for the boy who was – at last – her very own.

- - - - - - -

James circled the tower on his broomstick, feeling the cool night air rush through his unruly black hair and steal the laughter from his lips. To say he was overjoyed would be an understatement, for he might as well be flying through Heaven itself.

He had just spent a Valentine's Day taking Lily – Lily _Evans_ – on a romantic broom ride, and best of all, she seemed to have enjoyed it. At least, she had laughed, and smiled that beautiful one-in-a-million smile of hers – the one that made her emerald eyes sparkle in just the right way.

Sure she had said that she was not sure of her feelings for him, but that simply meant that he was actually getting somewhere with her. Lily had always known that she hated him, then she had known that she just wanted to be friends, but if she was confused, then there was a part of her that had to feel something more.

And that was good enough for James.

After all, he had been chasing the girl for years without much hope, so anything was better than nothing. He might not understand the depth of his feelings for her, nor did he understand the way that her mind and heart were working – all he knew was that he needed her in his life, that without her, the grass would not be as green, the sky not as blue, and his heart would never be quite as complete. So he was going to keep fighting, no matter how many times he failed, and no matter how many times he was publically humiliated.

That day he had won a battle, one that he hoped would be the first of many. Because, without the war, well, the outcome was just not as worth it.

- - - - - - -

Stella sat curled up in the large cozy window seat in the Gryffindor Common Room, watching the stars peek out through the colors of the sunset and listening to the steady hum of voices behind her. She loved everything about Hogwarts, everything except the sometimes overwhelming feeling of being a misfit among misfits – something quite hard to accomplish and very painful when one does. Everyone was great to her, but it was still obvious that she was different when she spent her days cooped up in the tower as the others roamed about the castle.

The only time she ever felt truly content was when she was with Sirius, but even those times were beginning to become confusing to the tall blonde. He made her happy, but she saw the way the other girls treated him, as well. They were all the same – all beautiful, funny, and as close to perfect as was possible, which just left less room for Stella to have any hope. Not that she wanted to hope in the first place – at least, that was what she continued to tell herself. She could not trust men, not after Gregory. But there was something different about Sirius, something that she could not help but be drawn to. He was so like Greg, but so completely opposite at the same time. Both boys knew exactly what to say to get a girl to like them. Greg used that talent to his advantage, hurting a lot of people in the process. Sirius, on the other hand, seemed to know that he had that charm, but he did use it purposefully – which made all the difference.

And perhaps that was what fascinated her – the choices involved with who a person was. It was just so interesting that two boys could start out with the same basic traits, but one became evil while the other chose good. The way one hurt people close to him and the other only healed. It was a crazy thought, and a crazy reason, but it was why she loved having Sirius as a friend. He helped her know that there was good in the world – for he was goodness personified.

- - - - - - -

Remus was laying his side, holding his pillow the way he often did as he tried to go to sleep, but he could not. He knew why –he was in a state of mild amazement, because for the first time in his life, he was totally and completely happy.

He had never dreamed that he could be content with a relationship, for he would always be terrified of hurting the other person, but somehow Vanessa seemed to not only understand that, but she managed to prove to him that he could take care of her, that he would never harm her. And whenever he began to have doubts, all he had to do was listen to her determined voice or see the strong gleam in her brown eyes to know that everything would be all right as long as they were together.

What he was worried about was his upcoming birthday in March – the one in which he turned seventeen, the one that solidified the rules that he had always lived by, and the one that said that he and Vanessa could not continue their relationship. He had hoped, though it had been a feeble wish, Vanessa's speech would sway the Ministry into withdrawing that particular law, but he had had no such luck. The government refused to be altered, and in doing so, it only managed to hurt himself and Vanessa more than his werewolf form ever could.

Perhaps something would change between that night and March tenth, but it was less than a month away. He had no idea what they would do once the laws began to affect him, and there was no doubt in the young man's mind that there would be magical re-enforcement methods that would make it impossible for them to sneak around the rules.

So while, in that moment, Remus was happy, he could not help but imagine the dark clouds forming on the not-so-distant horizon.

- - - - - - -

Alice had climbed out onto the roof of Gryffindor Tower and she sat with her knees curled up to her chest, feeling the light breeze play with her short, spiky hair. The little blonde needed some time to think, away from everyone else, and this was the only place she could ever truly find that peace.

Her mother had written her earlier that day, but Alice had not told anyone so she could spend a nice Valentine's Day with Frank, for Ms. Hinton was offering her daughter a compromise. The letter had stated that if Alice would come home and meet a few of the men her mother had chosen for her, then they would be on good terms once more. Her whole heart was screaming that it was an awful idea, that she had Frank and he was more than everything she needed. But there was this tiny part of her that still wanted to try to get her mother's love – even though she had never really had it to begin with.

Alice had spent her entire life trying to be the perfect little socialite that her mother always wanted, because she had always dreamed of having her mother's approval. She had thought that maybe once she earned it, they would be a proper family. Perhaps they would love each other and take care of each other and spend time together doing something other than planning parties.

But no matter how much she wanted that, the incident at the Potters' party had stripped Alice of almost all of her naivety, and she now knew that she could be an angel on earth and her mother would treat her just the same. That was who Ms. Hinton was – everything she did and everything that she asked others to do was entirely for her own benefit. If Alice married rich, then it would only raise the Hintons' social standing, while if she ended up with Frank, there would be no escalation.

Of course, none of that made a difference to Alice. If she had learned anything by watching her mother, it was that the heart was right when it came to love, one could not simply care about someone because of social politics. That was not love. Her mother thought that she could shut her heart away – and maybe she could – but in doing so, she ruined any chance at happiness she might have had.

So Alice pulled the letter from her pocket and tore it into many tiny pieces, before releasing it – and any control that her head might have in the matter – to the wind that blowing through the trees.

- - - - - - -

Lily pulled on her pajamas and climbed onto her four-poster, where she could pull the curtains tight around her in case the other girls came in. Alice and Vanessa were her best friends, but Lily felt as though this was something she could not tell them, not after years of expressing only hatred for James. They would – well, _Alice_ would – make too big a deal out of it, and James would know before Lily could even figure out her feelings. She might talk to Stella about it, for the blonde had only known Lily and James after they became friends, which might give her better insight into the whole situation, for she had not been waiting for them to get together for years.

Lily wanted so badly to force her head and her heart into alignment once more, but the more she thought about it, the farther apart they seemed to spread. One was absolutely against the whole thing, gripping desperately to what she had always told herself – that she was just a challenge, just another girl James could say he got to fall for him, and then she would just be left heartbroken and vulnerable. The other was arguing that he really cared about her, and that he had proved it time and time again. But more than that, her heart – in a voice that started as a whisper but was beginning to escalate to something louder – was admitting that maybe, just maybe, there was something about him, who he actually was as a person, that was worth falling for. Whether it was his humor, his devotion, his strength, his loyalty, or any aspect of his personality, Lily could not force her heart to be blind to any of it, and it was starting to open up and let James in – with or without her head's consent.

* * *

**Wow, not a single line of dialogue in the whole chapter! (Unless you count Peter's little flashback to Bella) I told you it would be different! I just wanted a chance to get into their heads and kind of see where everyone was at the moment because so much has been going on. I hope it didn't bore you, and I really hope you actually liked it!**

**So I wrote most of this last night when I was home all by myself while all my friends were at our school's snowball dance. The guy I wanted to go with found someone else - naturally - so if this was sort of angsty in parts, blame him. XD**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_I smiled, just for Harry, but he didn't know that. – ashl3yj0nas43v3r; __Between the Lines_


	41. Expecto Patronum

**SORRY GUYS! I know that's it's been forever and ever since I updated! I had DECA State over the weekend and I've been studying nonstop. Hopefully this chapter will make up for it. (:**

**THANK YOU: Puzzsta, LilliesAndSunshine, MssrsMWPP, bookiewormie, Sarahrules336, hpdreamer500, xExpectoxPatronumx, SecretlyAGryffindor, Hannahble, neenala, Albuslover8101, Farrah Aabit, Cloee99, raneonthewyndoepain, RaindropsOnTheRooftop, Rider Arya Svit-kona, pinkpearl89, xoxtruegryffindorxox, WinterLizzy, ilydeleo, Akt5us, Miss. Ally Lautner, Dirty Blonde, Alysa4eva, Annunminuialiel, Kmonae, IluvDTLandGeeNicks, StaceyGibbly, UndercoverHufflepuff, Queenie's Broken Heart, and pigckle8 for the amazing reviews! I love you all to bits!**

**Special thanks to Annunminuialiel for reviewing just about every single chapter! And also to Cloee99 who sent an extra review to make sure that I updated. XD This chapter is for you two!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything at all. And Dorcas' definition of Patronus came from dictionary . sensagent . com (no spaces)**

_In this moment, who we are is all we have. But maybe, that's __**all**__ we need._

**Chapter Forty-One: Expecto Patronum**

Lily grasped the strap of her bag tightly as the Gryffindors and Slytherins queued up outside the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, though the redhead was unsure if the force was meant to keep her from crying or from fighting.

Months had passed since the day of Constance's death, but that did not make seeing the faces that had been present at Malfoy Manor any easier. Severus, at the very least, had the decency to keep his black eyes glued to the floor. The others sneered across the hallway down their long, elegant noses, as if they were daring the Gryffindors to make the first move.

Lily knew that if she succumbed to her desire for revenge, she would merely be doing what they wanted her to do, so the redhead bit her lip and kept her feet planted next to Vanessa and Alice, waiting for Perry to open the classroom door.

He did moments later, and Lily once more regretted that he had been to St. Mungo's over the break, for the pig charm the boys had placed upon him was no longer in effect. He smiled that too-perfect smile and let them inside, and all the while, Lily could feel his greedy eyes scanning herself and her friends.

"I'm glad Stella doesn't have to deal with him," Alice murmured, glaring at the professor in hatred.

Lily nodded in agreement, taking a seat between James and the little blonde, realizing just how awful the class actually was.

"Today," Perry began, standing in the middle of the room. "We will be learning about Barancias, dangerous little creatures they are. Would anyone care to explain why?"

Lily glanced around at the others, but the entire class was immobile, so she raised her hand.

"Ah, Lily, I should have known," Perry said, winking at her. "Please, enlighten us."

She rolled her eyes before responding. "Barancias are parasitic creatures that live on the skin of dementors. They feed off the dementors' poisonous blood and should they come into contact with humans, they would have a similar effect to that of their hosts. However, instead of sucking out happiness by way of the air, Barancias do so by taking it out through the blood. They can drink much faster than the heart can pump, which is what makes them so deadly.

"Excellent, Lily, excellent," he told her, sounding pleased. "Now, Mr. Black, if you would do us a favor and get the cage out of my office."

Sirius paled ever so slightly, but he stood without hesitation. Lily felt her own jaw drop in horror.

"You can't seriously have Barancias in the school!" she exclaimed, seeing her distress mirrored on the faces of the other Gryffindors. "They're extremely dangerous; most people cannot survive more than a moment in contact with them."

"And you shall not have more than that," Perry said, and Lily could have sworn she saw his eyes flash. "I'm merely trying to toughen you up."

"This has to be against the law," Vanessa muttered, yanking her magical law textbook from her bag as Sirius made his way cautiously through to the back room. "There is no way he can have those in the castle, much less use them on us."

"Miss Reese," came Perry's voice from behind them, and the girls spun in their chairs to find his face only inches from their own. "You won't find anything in there, sweetheart. Believe me, I've looked."

"The one time he does his research," Alice grumbled, her tiny knees bobbing up and down in nervousness as Sirius re-entered with a covered cage.

"Now, Mr. Black, why don't you go first?"

Before Sirius could reply, James had jumped to his feet and hurried to his best friend's side. "No, professor, I'll go."

"No, he won't," Sirius argued, pushing James away. "I will."

The two boys began to bicker, and Perry seemed surprised by their willingness to take each other's punishment. They were, however, too distracted to see Remus take a stand an approach the professor.

"I guess it'll be me then," he sighed, as though not entirely interested.

Perry grinned. "You know, people of… _poor health_ are more likely to suffer serious injury."

Remus narrowed his eyes in hatred. "Well, as my friends are a bit busy, it seems like I'm the only one who –"

"No way, Rem," Vanessa cut him off, rushing to his side and standing between him and the professor. "I'm going first."

Lily rolled her eyes, but had to smile at their bravery. However, it was getting them nowhere, and he might simply make them all go together, so Lily quietly got to her feet and made her way around the bickering group. Once she approached the cage, she carefully pulled away the cover to reveal the most vile, disgusting insects she had ever seen. They were covered in grisly black fir that seemed to emit some sort of opaque liquid, and their bright red eyes appeared to be continually bleeding. Lily could not help but recoil at the sight of them, but she took a deep breath and squared her shoulders before reaching into the cage and plucking a Barancia from the wall.

"So, professor," she began calmly, turning to see the terrified expression of her friends. "What do I do?"

"Nothing –" James began immediately, but Lily placed it on her skin before he could move to stop her.

As soon as the Barancia made contact, Lily could literally feel the blood and happiness being drained from her body, as if, in its own way, the Barancia was able to suck out her soul as well as any dementor. The redhead felt her knees give way as more and more blood left her body, but strong arms were around her instantly, supporting her weight without effort. Very distantly, Lily could hear James' voice shouting at Perry, but to the witch, it all was incoherent.

And then, everything went black.

- - - - - - -

Lily's eyes re-opened in the harsh, blinding light of the infirmary, and she heard multiple sighs of relief before her vision came back into focus.

"Lily, _why_ did you do that?"

"That was a dumb move, Lily-flower, but totally wicked!"

"Don't you ever,_ ever_ do that to me again."

Lily laughed, but it made her dizzy so she stopped quickly, looking up at her friends standing around her.

"You weren't getting anywhere," she told them fondly. "So I figured I might as well."

James' hazel eyes, deeply troubled, bore into her own. "You know you could have died, don't you?"

She shrugged, avoiding the question, and turned her head to the side. A small gasp escaped her lips when she saw none other than Alastor Moody watching her intently.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, though it came out ruder than she had intended.

The Auror grunted and motioned for her to sit up, which she did, with the help of James and Vanessa.

"He's been here for a while," Alice whispered in her ear. "He said there's something he has to tell us."

"You were all with Miss Malfoy the night she died, correct?" Moody inquired gruffly.

Lily, slightly surprised, nodded along with the others. Moody grunted again, and pulled something out of her pocket, making James – who had experienced the Aurors' cunning and agility firsthand – tensed immediately, but Moody simply held out a small box and a scroll of parchment.

"What is this?" asked Alice, taking both and unrolling the document.

"The Ministry found out what Miss Malfoy did, and decided to award her with an Order of Merlin – First Class," Moody explained, his low voice more like a growl.

"And you want us to take it on her behalf because her family would see it as a disgrace," Lily confirmed, a sadness welling up in her heart at the thought.

Moody nodded, his magical eye whirling, though his normal one focused on each of them in turn. "They wanted me to tell you lot that what you did was dangerous, and that you should have left it up to the Aurors to deal with," he snorted. "But you can't wait around for people to take the action you are capable of, can you? What you lot did was right by me."

"Thank you," they murmured, and with that, Moody limped out the door with his usual _step CLUNK_.

"She deserved it," James said quietly, looking at the badge Alice was holding over the little blonde's shoulder.

Sirius nodded in agreement. "What are we going to do with it? We can't just keep it."

"Maybe Professor Dumbledore will keep it in his office," Lily suggested, examining the silver emblem that Alice handed to her. "We know it's safe there."

"Good idea," Vanessa told her. "We want to put it somewhere where the Slytherins can't deface it."

"It's the least we can do," added Remus, placing a hand on the brunette's shoulder. "We should talk to him as soon as Lily is all right."

Lily did not want to be a hindrance, so she threw off her covers and made to stand up. When she did so, however, she was so overcome by dizziness that she would have fallen if James had not been there to support her.

"Thanks," she muttered, though she felt her face heat up as he helped her back onto the bed.

"You lost a lot of blood, darling," he told her softly. "You need to rest for a while."

Lily sighed, laying back against her pillows and crossing her arms over her chest. "I hate being in the hospital wing. It makes me feel so useless."

"It's not that bad," James reassured her. "Just until tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Lily asked, sitting up again too quickly. She held her spinning head and continued, "But I was going to have a defense lesson tonight."

"Don't worry, Lily," Vanessa told her with a smile. "Alice and I can handle it."

"And we'll be there too," Remus added. "We'll take care of everything."

"Thanks," Lily told them, though she still wished she could be there to help. It was so amazing to her to watch the younger students' progress, for they had all come a long way in only a few months.

They headed out to go down to dinner, though not without promising to bring her something back. Only moments after the door shut behind them, it opened again and a tall, bat-like boy with greasy black hair and a long, hooked nose hesitantly came inside.

"What do you want?" she asked him coldly, her eyes narrowing as images from Malfoy Manor flashed through her memory.

Severus seemed to know what she was thinking, for he flinched before answering. "I just wanted to make sure you were all right. That was not a smart move today, Lily –"

"Don't talk to me as if you care," she spat, thoroughly fed up with his bipolar loyalty. "What's a Barancia compared to the Killing Curse? Hmmm? You seemed to have no problem seeing it cast at my friends, why should I be any different?"

Severus had always been good at hiding his emotions to the world, but Lily, for one reason or another, had always been able to see straight through his calm exterior and she knew the pain he had felt at her harsh words had cut him like a knife.

"You don't understand, Lily."

"Then, please," she went on, almost begging. Almost. "Please, help me to."

"I can't," he said softly, and there was no malice in his words. "I honestly can't. But I was worried about you, and I do care for your safety all right?"

It was so hard for her not to forgive and forget, but she knew that if she did, it would only lead to more pain for them both. "Listen to me, Severus," she told him, her voice quiet. "I've told you a thousand times that I will believe that when you show me. Prove that you care enough to fight by me instead of against me and then I'll be able to believe you. And not just me, my other friends, too. Once you can truly say that you're no longer one of Voldemort's followers, then you can tell me you care."

Lily noticed that he winced ever so slightly at the sound of his master's name, and she could not help but wonder if he had already personally experienced his cruelty, for she knew that it had no bounds.

"Lily – " His black eyes pleaded with her on a deeper level than Lily was used to experiencing, but she blinked and shook her head, forcing any good memories from her mind.

"No, Sev. I'm doing this for both of us, all right? Our friendship – it isn't healthy. It only hurts us both as long as we are on different sides of this war. So please, don't come back unless you change your mind.

Something broke behind his eyes at that moment, but Lily did everything she could to ignore it, and waited until the door had closed behind him before letting only one of her most stubborn tears fall into her open palm.

- - - - - - -

About a half hour later, Lily was just beginning to doze off when the door opened again to reveal James, striding in with a paper sack in hand.

"I brought you your favorite," he grinned. "Grilled chicken salad with Italian dressing."

Lily smiled back up at him as he pulled up a chair at her bedside and handed her the bag. "Thank you, James."

"Anytime, darling," James winked, though the gesture lost its charm as it was interrupted by a yawn.

"Were you up late last night?" she asked, eating her dinner slowly and wondering if he had been unable to sleep because of worry for Remus, because the night before had been full moon.

"A bit," he answered, and Lily had the feeling that she was not getting the full truth.

"Then you should go get some sleep," she told him softly, deciding that, whatever it was, he would tell her if she needed to know.

"I'm fine," James said, putting on a smile. "Besides, everyone needs company when they're not feeling well."

"You won't be feeling well if you don't ever rest," Lily argued.

James smirked, scooting his chair a little closer to her, and Lily moved back slightly. "Then _you_ can keep _me_ company. It's all part of the master plan, love."

Lily laughed, feeling the butterflies in her stomach come to life as his locked eyes with her own. His were so deep; they seemed so playful on the surface, but beneath, Lily could see so much more than that, and it confused her more than his words ever did.

She definitely needed to talk to Stella.

- - - - - - -

"Okay," Vanessa called, clapping her hands together once to gain the attention of the assembled first, second, and third years that were gathered in the Gryffindor Common Room. "Lily believes that some of you are ready to begin working on forming a Patronus. We'll be learning this along with you, do none of us can expect to get it right away."

"Do all of you know what a Patronus is?" asked Alice.

Vanessa looked around at many confused faces and knew that they did not, some, however, looked intrigued, and some even fearful, knowing the advanced level of magic they would be attempting to perform.

"Well," Dorcas Meadowes began, pushing her crimson glasses up the bridge of her nose. "The Patronus Charm conjures an incarnation of the caster's innermost positive feelings, such as joy, hope, or the desire to survive, known as a Patronus. A Patronus can be viewed as the exact _opposite_ of a Dementor. Even though it embodies all the positive emotions that a Dementor feeds on, a Patronus is conjured as a _protector_, and is a weapon rather than a feast: Patronuses shield their conjurors from Dementors, and even drive them away. Patronuses cannot feel despair, as real humans can, so Dementors can't hurt it. When conjured, a Patronus appears silvery, ethereal, and semi-transparent. Improperly formed Patronuses range from momentary formless bursts of silvery mist, to poorly-defined forms which are easily defeated or quickly dissipate on their own. A full-fledged, or corporeal, Patronus takes on a solid (if somewhat ethereal) fixed animal form that is appropriate and unique to the witch or wizard casting the charm; no two witches or wizards will conjure identical Patronuses – at least not if they are alive at the same time. Patronuses summoned by a particular person always take the same form, although life-changing events — such as personal tragedy, or falling in love — can alter the form that one's conjured Patronuses will take from then on."

Vanessa grinned as she listened to the third year speak. She sounded just as much like the walking textbook that Lily had been at that age.

"However," the strawberry blonde continued. "It is extremely advanced magic. Many fully grown witches and wizards are barely able to produce a fine mist – especially when a true dementor is present."

"All correct," Vanessa told her, glancing around to make sure that the others understood. "Do you know why it is so difficult?"

Dorcas thought for a moment, her young brow furrowing in concentration. "Because most people, by nature, will succumb to despair rather than fighting through it. I mean, it's just so much easier. To form a true Patronus, one must have a strong heart, not a strong head, and most people miss that when studying magic. Maybe it should be easier for younger students," she mused. "They still have a lot of faith in the world."

"Wow," Alice breathed, echoing Vanessa's own thoughts. The two of the quickly overcame their moment of awe in the young girl and looked around at the group.

"Since there is no way for us to bring in an actual dementor to practice on," Vanessa told them, shivering at the thought. "We will simply have to try without them for now, though we may be able to come up with a better way."

They nodded and spread out around the room, each pairing up with their usual groups.

"Now," Vanessa went on, raising her voice slightly so that they could all still hear her. "The spell itself is simple enough. All you have to do is focus on a happy memory, the best you can think of, and say the incantation _Expecto Patronum_."

"We'll be trying it too," Alice informed them. "So if any of you have any trouble, feel free to come talk to us."

So Vanessa turned to face the little blonde, squaring her shoulders and pulling her wand from her back pocket. "Ready, Al?"

"Let's do it," she grinned, bringing her own wand in front of her.

- - - - - - -

"Hey, James?" Lily asked in her sweet voice, causing him to smile automatically.

"Yes, darling?" he responded, relishing the fact that her cheeks still tinged pink whenever he called her that.

Blush or no, Lily still rolled her brilliant green eyes and sat up a little straighter, pulling out her wand. "I told Alice and Ness to try to teach the younger kids to create a Patronus, but I feel a little guilty because I can't make one at all. Do you think you could help me?"

She was so cute when she asked for help, for she always looked as though she would rather be doing anything else in the world.

"Of course," he told her. "But I've never tried it before either."

Lily laughed lightly. "But everything just seems to come so naturally to you. I'm sure you'd get it pretty fast."

"I'm not the natural," he said, grinning in spite of himself. "You're the brilliant one here."

"But that's just it," Lily told him, shaking her head. "A Patronus isn't about being book smart. It's about being happy. And you're one of the happiest people I know. At least, you are most of the time."

"Only when I'm around you."

"I need to start keeping a tally for every cute little one-liner you use on me," Lily said with a laugh, pretending to search for something to write with.

James chuckled. "My goal is to use twelve a day, if that helps in your counting."

"You got to be kidding me," Lily laughed, staring at him in disbelief. "You're ridiculous."

"Ridiculously dedicated, you mean."

"If that's really how you like to think about it. Now, let's try this spell."

"All right, what do you think your happy memory will be?" he asked, knowing already what his own was.

Lily thought for a moment, and he could almost hear her mind as it replayed days of her life.

"Well," she began. "I could use the day I met Alice and Vanessa, or there's always that detention where we spilled troll blood everywhere. That was fun. Or Petunia's birthday party over the summer where I got covered in cake mix, or even one of those days that we all spent out under the beech tree last year."

James could not help but smile widely as almost every one of her good thoughts included him.

"What about you?" Lily asked, looking interested.

He winked at her, loving the way she always looked a little startled when he did so. "As long as you're here, I don't need a good memory."

"And you say you only get to twelve a day?"

- - - - - - -

Alice shut her eyes tightly and focused on Frank, and many of the memories she had with him. There was the Valentine's Day on which he first asked her out, hours spent with Aberforth in the Hog's Head, the day he had given her his class ring – which she still wore around her neck – and even the night when she had torn up the letter from her mother. The last one was not particularly happy exactly, but it solidified her choice in Frank and, therefore, would lead to many more happy times.

"_Expecto Patronum_," she said clearly, and felt the end of her wand shudder slightly as a fine, silver mist poured out of it.

"Alice!" Vanessa yelled happily. "Alice, that's the best any of us have done!"

But it was not good enough for her. The little blonde focused more clearly than ever on the face of the man that she loved and shouted the incantation once more.

A huge silver animal exploded from the tip of her wand, and looking closer, Alice saw it to be an enormous elephant that towered over everything in the Common Room.

"Whoa." Was all that she could say, staring at the beast until it faded from view.

"Alice, that was incredible!" Vanessa called, running over to her best friend. "It only took you ten minutes! How did you do that?"

Alice shrugged, thinking back on the spell. "I guess it's not just about a happy memory. You have to try to see yourself with a happy future."

- - - - - - -

"_Expecto Patronum,"_ Lily said firmly, pointing her wand in front of her. Not much happened, only a faint shimmery fog emerged.

Lily groaned, feeling drained. "I've been trying this for an hour, why can't I do it?"

"Like you said," James told her, giving her a sympathetic look. "This spell is about your heart, not your head."

"I think I'm having a hard time telling the difference," she admitted.

James smiled kindly at her, causing her stomach to flip-flop. "You can do it. Just focus on the people that you love. Even if they aren't around right now, or even if you don't really get along anymore. As long as you love them, I think the spell should work."

Lily nodded and shut her eyes, allowing images of loved ones to pass through her heart. First were her parents, and then Petunia, back in the good days. Next came an eleven-year-old Sev, explaining to her the wonders of the Wizarding world. Alice and Vanessa were next; they smiled at her as she remembered various stages of life that the three of them had been through together. Remus followed, for he had always gotten her through prefect meetings and been someone she could talk to about almost anything. Then came Sirius, who had become a brother to her over the last year; he could put a smile on her face no matter what and she loved him for it. Little Peter was next, for though he was timid and quiet, he was a part of the family and just as good to her as the others. Then it was Stella's turn, even though they had not been friends for very long, they had been through things together that most friends never experience. Finally, James' face shone through, almost brighter than all the others. She was still unsure of her feelings for him, but she knew that he had always been there to pull her through the tough times. If nothing else, he was her best friend, and he was beginning to truly mean the world to her.

With her family burning brightly in her thoughts, Lily whispered, "_Expecto Patronum_," into the silent room.

A flood of happiness rushed through her as a brilliant silver figure burst from her wand and galloped around the hospital wing. She looked excitedly at James, who was watching the doe with a look of shock and awe on his face.

"What?" Lily asked with a grin, basking in the light that came from the figure. "Didn't think I could do it?"

"No," he said softly. "It's just that… wow, Lily."

"A doe," she murmured, watching it fade. "I wonder what it means."

"Unconditional love," James told her, still staring at the spot where it had vanished.

"How do you know that?"

"I know a lot about animal symbolism," he explained quickly, and Lily noticed that he seemed a little uneasy. "I used to be really into it."

"Oh," she said, giving him a suspicious look. "Well, why don't you try it now?"

"No," he answered shaking his head. "Not tonight."

"What? Why?" asked Lily, thoroughly confused by his behavior.

"I'll explain, but not right now."

Lily was about to respond, but he muttered something about needing to talk to Sirius and rushed out of the room.

- - - - - - -

"Padfoot!" James hissed in his best friend's ear as soon as he reached the spot where Sirius was sitting with Stella in the common room.

"Yes, Prongs?" Sirius asked with a grin, though it faded when he saw the look on James' face. "What is it?"

"I need to talk to you. Now."

Sirius nodded and waved goodbye to Stella as he stood up and followed James to the dormitory.

"What's wrong?"

"It's Lily," James explained quickly, pacing the room as Sirius sat down on the edge of his bed. "Her Patronus – it's a doe."

Sirius stared at him blankly for a moment before comprehension dawned on his face. "And yours would be a –"

"Stag, yes," he said hastily. "And on top of that, it means unconditional love!"

"So you think that it means you two are meant to be together?" Sirius asked with a grin.

James let out an aggravated sigh. "I know that it means that I can't give up on her. But now it just makes waiting so much harder!"

"Believe me, I knew you weren't ever giving up on her," Sirius reassured him, though he was grinning. "Did you tell her about your stag?"

"No!" James answered. "It's dangerous and illegal; do you really think she would go for a guy like that?"

"She better," Sirius said. "Because that's the guy you are whether you tell her or not."

James knew that Sirius was right, but he couldn't tell her – not yet. Perhaps once Lily knew that she was in love with him, somewhere deep down, he would tell her. But he would not risk anything when he was still so close but far away.

* * *

**Well? What did you think?**

**This is the definition of an elephant from www . theearthangelconnection . com:**

**ELEPHANT - can teach us the power of gentleness, commitment, and communication in relationships. They are are deeply committed to all creatures with whom they have relationships, are powerful when protecting others and gentle in nurturing them. The matriarch of a herd practices leadership in a way that is both gentle and inclusive. Elephants' ability to communicate telepathically can teach us how to truly listen to others.**

**I thought it was rather fitting for Alice. And I like the idea that she is so little, but her Patronus (a reflection of her heart) is so big.**

**I'll probably be doing the talk between Lily and Stella in the next chapter, sorry if this one was a little choppy, but I just really needed to update!**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_I'm just ____wondering__ if you'll ever understand just how much of me belongs to __**you**__**.**_


	42. A Little Thing Called Love

**THANK YOU: **_**Queenie's Broken Heart, MssrsMWPP, xoxtruegryffindorxox, lilmisssmileen, thedevilandgod, LozzT-In-Time, Albuslover8101, RaNdOmGeEk, LilliesAndSunshine, SecretlyAGryffindor, Malala94, Annunminuialiel, xExpectoxPatronumx, xMissWeasley11x, lana-bear, Akt5us, Miss. Ally Lautner, pigckle8, Sarahrules336, Alysa4eva, Cloee99, RaindropsOnTheRooftop, raneonthewyndoepain, mayzie, WhiteCamellia, Hannahble, Anna Clearwater, Kmonae, La_Reine_Belle, bookiewormie, -Scp-, Rider Arya Svit-kona, ThePoet'sLover, AnonymousMSQ, pinkpearl89, elfling14, Nikki Ride, **_**and**_** littleelf**_** for all of the reviews!**

**I would like to give an extra thank you to **_**Cloee99**_** for keeping me on top of things, and **_**elfling14**_** for reviewing every chapter! You two are great!**

**Disclaimer: Alas, I still own nothing.**

_I know there are plenty of other__ fish in the sea.  
But you'll __always __be my Nemo._

**Chapter Forty-Two: A Little Thing Called Love**

It was the night after full moon, and Remus looked exhausted to Vanessa's worried eyes. She made her way through the crowded Common Room to where he was curled up in an overstuffed armchair by the fire, just watching the rain, and perched lightly on the armrest.

"You okay?" she asked softly, gently laying her hand on his.

He opened his grey eyes and gave her a tired smile, looking to all the world as though he had just been dragged halfway to hell.

"I've been better," Remus admitted.

Vanessa knew that he was far beyond wanting anyone's pity, so she did not show her own, but merely took his large hand in her own smaller one and squeezed it gently, silently praying that Damocles Belby was able to come up with something that would help Remus.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not particularly," he answered, sitting up and holding her hand more firmly. He hesitated, clearly thinking hard. "But I would like to show you something."

Vanessa was confused, but she nodded and allowed him to pull her from the chair and toward the portrait hole.

"It's late, Rem," she muttered as they walked hand-in-hand through the long empty corridors of the castle. The cool March air was drafting through the open windows and looking up, Vanessa could see the dark storm clouds swirling overhead, releasing their downpour on the world below. "We'll have to be back in the Common Room in half an hour."

He chuckled softly, his tired eyes lighting up for the first time all night. "Do you remember what I told you back when we first started dating?"

The brunette furrowed her brow, reminiscing momentarily. "You mean that night there was a new moon and you took me for a walk?" she confirmed. He nodded and she continued. "You said that you were a Marauder, and as such, you knew that some rules were made to be broken."

"And on top of being a Marauder, I am also a werewolf, which means that the whole night and day thing really doesn't affect me the same way it does everyone else."

Vanessa covered her mouth to keep her loud laugh from echoing off the stone walls of the corridor, for they were just passing the hospital wing, from which they could hear soft voices drifting through the open door.

"So where are we going, exactly?" Vanessa asked curiously as he led her down flight after flight of moving stairs.

He grinned mischievously – something she knew he had picked up from James and Sirius – and shook his head. "It's a surprise, though I can't guarantee that you'll like it."

- - - - - - -

Remus did not know why he had had the sudden urge to show Vanessa the site of his nightly expeditions. All he was sure of was the she would appreciate the shack just as much as he and the boys did, and the fact that he could say that of her meant more than he could describe with words.

Once out on the grounds, Remus looked up at the now-dwindling moon through the clouds and rain before leading Vanessa toward a tree that stood on a hill at the edge of the grounds.

"The Whomping Willow?" she breathed, realization dawning in her chocolate brown eyes as she brushed wet strands of hair from them. "Are you taking me to the Shrieking Shack?"

"Yes," Remus answered, rubbing the back of his neck in sudden embarrassment. Why would Vanessa ever want to go into the dreadful, phantasmagoric place? She was far too good to ever set foot on the scene of his monthly torture. "Actually, no, never mind. It was a dumb idea."

"Are you kidding me?" she asked, tugging him forward by the hand, a smile on her face as she looked up at him. "Rem, I'm honored that you trust me enough to take me there. It would mean so much to me to be able to see it."

Remus looked at her sadly, marveling at the fact that he had been so blessed to find her. "It would probably just depress you."

"Then let it," Vanessa said firmly, slowing to walk beside him again and squeezing his hand tightly, which gave him a tingling feeling that shot up his entire arm. "The more I can understand the better. I want to know how you feel, Remus. I want to be able to honestly sympathize with you."

"Why?" he asked, astonished – as always – by her compassion.

Vanessa shrugged and watched the ground as she kicked a small stone through the forming puddles. "I care about you, Rem. I know that it's hard for you to believe, but I really do. And not just the good parts – I care about all of you, even the werewolf. And on top of that, I want to make things better for you. The hearing didn't go so well, at least not in the legal sense, but I'm not giving up, and I got to thinking about it, and before you can fight for someone, wouldn't it make sense to understand them as best as you can?"

"So you've actually been wanting to go to the shack?" Remus inquired, knowing that he must be staring at her in mild amazement.

For the first time in a long time, Vanessa blushed, staring at the ground and turning bright pink against the grey backdrop of the storm. "Well, yes, I have," she answered, glancing up at him. "But I didn't want to ask."

Now Remus knew what James meant when he said that he liked to make Lily blush. It gave him a sort of soaring feeling in his heart to know that he had a physical affect on her. They had reached the Whomping Willow and Remus grabbed the long branch that sat behind a few low bushes. He quickly prodded the knot in the wood before it could attack them, and led Vanessa down into the dark, underground tunnel that led to the setting of most of his nightmares.

- - - - - - -

After James' strange and sudden departure, Lily grabbed a scrap piece of parchment and quill from her bedside table and scribbled a quick note to Stella, telling the blonde that she needed to talk to her. Using a neat little transportation charm she had recently perfected, Lily sent it up to the Common Room, where she knew Stella probably sat.

Sure enough, the door to the hospital wing opened ten minutes later to reveal Stella and Sirius – her ever-present guard. He greeted Lily and asked them to send a note when Stella was ready to come back, for he did not want her wandering the corridors alone, and Lily had to smile at this, for he was only so protective of the people he cared about most deeply.

Plopping down on the end of Lily's bed, Stella crossed her legs and faced her friend, looking expectant.

Now that she was here, Lily was not entirely sure where to begin, for the story – in actuality – had begun years before.

_For their first two years at Hogwarts, James Potter had done nothing but aggravate Lily Evans, whether it was by pranking her until she was so red in the face that she could not speak, or coming up with elaborate schemes to embarrass her by asking her to be his Valentine. Then, towards the middle of their third year, things actually took their most surprising turn._

_Lily sat in the library, surrounded by large books and scraps of parchment, working on her end-of-term essay for History of Magic. Just when she thought she might be getting somewhere, James Potter sauntered into the room – alone for once, though his friends were surely nearby – and sat down directly across from her._

"_What do you want, Potter?" she growled without looking up._

_James cleared his throat and tapped his fingers on the table impatiently. "Aren't you going to look at me, Evans?"_

_Lily's green eyes snapped up to him briefly and she set her quill down so she could cross her arms. "_What_ do you want?" she repeated._

"_Well," he began almost nervously, and Lily's eyebrows rose in surprise. "I just, er, I know you haven't always liked my pranks –"_

_Lily snorted. "That's a drastic understatement."_

"– _And I just wanted to… to apologize." The last word came out quiet and harsh, as if he had never uttered it before in his life._

_Lily gave him a suspicious look. "Remus put you up to this, didn't he?"_

"_It was his idea," James admitted. "But I'm only doing it because I want to."_

"_Mmhmm," Lily said sarcastically._

"_I mean it, Evans!" he half-shouted, looking defensive, and earning a glare from the librarian. "Do you really think I would do this to myself if I didn't mean it?"_

_Privately, Lily agreed with him, knowing that James Potter would never put himself out there like that, but pride and previous hatred kept her silent._

Perhaps that had been her first mistake.

- - - - - - -

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Remus asked nervously.

Vanessa nodded, climbing the steps that led to a trapdoor under the Shrieking Shack, knowing that she was about the enter one of the more horrible places she had ever been to. The brunette, however, was determined to see the place where he went every full moon; she wanted to feel as close to him as possible, even though she could not actually accompany the boys.

Remus gave her a final searching look before pushing the door open and pulling her inside.

The house was in shambles. Furniture has been torn to shreds and slammed into the peeling, slashed walls. The floorboards had been ripped up in some places and the chandelier had shattered, leaving bits of glass glittering everywhere. They walked in silence through the living room, through the dining hall, where the long table and chairs had been reduced to splinters of wood. Next there was a bedroom, where the sturdy bed frame still stood, though the mattress had been cut in multiple places, and the stuffing was leaking out.

Vanessa walked over to it and sat down gingerly, patting the place beside her and urging Remus to take a seat as well.

"Is it hard?" she asked softly, taking his hand and weaving her fingers through his own. "To be here?"

Remus thought for a moment, looking around the ruined room. "Not so much anymore," he told her. "And not when someone's here with me. And it's not all bad, I suppose. James, Sirius, Peter, and I have been able to use this place for other things over the years – planning our larger pranks, inventing things. And we could always come here when we needed to get away to think."

Vanessa nodded, searching the dismal place for something hopeful, something that would make his nights a little better. What she found were four words, carved deeply into the wall. They were familiar to her, and Vanessa almost smiled as she read _Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, _each in their own distinct handwriting.

"We did that in our fourth year," Remus explained, watching her. "So that we'll have left our mark on the school forever."

She did smile this time. "Believe me, Remus, you don't have to write your names on the wall to leave a mark. I doubt anyone will forget you anytime soon."

"It's still nice to think that maybe one day another group of friends will find this place, maybe add their own names to the list."

"Hogwarts best and brightest," Vanessa commented. "And the most daring. It would take brains and guts to get in here without first knowing how."

Remus grinned, a far-off look on his face. "James, Sirius, and Peter didn't know how to get in at first. I remember they came to find me the night they had figured out the whole Animagus thing, they were beat up pretty bad. It looked as though the tree had really done a number on them. But them being them, they fought it until they got inside."

"We've got the greatest friends in the world," Vanessa told him, snuggling into his side. "I'm convinced of it."

Remus laughed lightly and wrapped an arm around her, holding her close, and Vanessa was amazed at how peaceful and loved she could feel even in the midst of such destruction.

- - - - - - -

Stella watched as Lily tried to find the words to express what she was thinking, but the tall blonde was intelligent enough to guess for herself.

"Is it James?" she asked, hiding a smile at the way Lily's face looked nervous and lit up at the very mention of his name.

She nodded mutely, as though waiting for Stella to pass judgment, but she only laughed lightly.

"Don't look so afraid," she told the redhead. "James is a fantastic guy."

"But, Stella," Lily argued, seeming to regain some of her normal resolve. "It's so confusing! I hated him for _years_. We taunted each other, fought, hexed, everything. I never imagined that I would even be his friend, and now look at me."

Stella smiled, thinking back to the first time she had met Lily Evans. "Do you remember what I told you, right after you found out what Greg was really up to?"

"Of course," she answered immediately. "How could I forget? 'Don't settle for someone who kisses up to you all the time. Wait for the guy who knows how to make you angry and does so on a regular basis. The guy who will be honest with you and tell you if you look ridiculous or that you're acting stupid. Because love was never meant to be easy. It was meant to be worth it.'"

As Lily repeated those words, a strange look crossed her face – one of fear and dawning comprehension.

"You see?" asked Stella. "Maybe he was the right one for you all along."

"But that's not possible," Lily said, shaking her head. "Besides, he kisses up to me now, anyway."

"But I don't really think he does it to win your affection anymore," Stella told her thoughtfully. "Now I think he does it because he cares for you so bloody much he can't do anything else."

"But that's too easy. You said that love was never meant to be easy."

Stella laughed, nearly falling off the edge of the bed. "You call this easy? Lily, you're a mess! He's driving you crazy without even trying to. Love not being easy doesn't have to mean fighting all the time. It could be that you mean so much to each other that you can hardly breathe without him. It could be needing him so much that it hurts."

Lily still looked unconvinced, so Stella tried another approach. "Think of it this way, Lily. Can you imagine your life without James in it?"

- - - - - - -

Vanessa curled up on the hard, overstuffed mattress that sat in the destroyed bedroom of the Shrieking Shack. She and Remus had returned to the castle only to find that they had been locked out for the night, so they had returned to the old house to keep safe from the rain that was pouring from the sky.

As Remus stretched out on the floor, Vanessa inwardly winced. A bright blush crept into her cheeks as she sat up again.

"You can, you know," she said awkwardly, patting the space beside her. "You can join me, if you like."

Remus flushed as well, the tips of his ears flaming beneath his hair. "Vanessa –"

"It's not like we're going to… do anything," she mumbled, her face positively glowing. "I just don't want you to have to sleep on the floor, and this place kind of creeps me out an –"

But she was cut off with a warm kiss that took her completely by surprise. Remus had never been spontaneous in their relationship, but she suddenly found his hand on her hip and the other in her hair, lips pressed firmly against her own. Vanessa laughed, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding him close, savoring the moment.

"What was that for?" she asked quietly as they broke apart, though he kept one arm tight around her waist as they sat side-by-side.

He blushed again, from the roots of his hair all the way down his neck. "Sometimes you do or say things, and I just…"

"Can't help yourself?" she supplied with an embarrassed smile.

Remus' expression mirrored her own, and he kissed her forehead before wrapping her in a hug. "You're just so strong and brave, Ness, but sometimes you show this vulnerable side, and just when I think I couldn't love you any more, I do."

Vanessa's face was sore from the sheer size of her grin, but in that moment, it hardly mattered. She pulled Remus to her and gave him another long, slow kiss that melted her heart entirely, before lying back down with his arms tight around her and falling into a blissful sleep.

- - - - - - -

"Life without James?" Lily repeated, feeling a little startled. He had been a part of her life for so many years now – for better or for worse – that she had never even thought of that being a possibility.

"Yes," Stella confirmed. "What would it be like?"

So Lily took a trip down Memory Lane. Had someone asked her that question in her first year, she would have stated that life would be much better. She would have had a little peace and quiet, and perhaps a little sanity in her life. Second year would have been the same, though even more so. Third year, too, would have been much calmer, though going through her awkward stage knowing that someone still would tell her how lovely she looked everyday was quite a nice thing to have. Had he not been there for that, she might still be the self-conscious, insecure little girl that she had turned into over that summer. Fourth year would have been absolutely boring without James' near constant companionship and joking demeanor. Not that she had appreciated it back then, but had he not been there, it would hardly have been worth looking back at all.

Fifth year was when things really started to change. He had matured a bit, become less of an arrogant git and actually proved that he cared for her by giving up his incessant taunting of Severus. She did not know whether life without James would mean that she would still have a friendship with Sev, but the more she thought about it, the more she realized that James was just as good a friend as Severus was – perhaps even better, for he had been the one that had been willing to work to earn her friendship.

And finally there was this year – their sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Looking back on what had already happened, Lily could say without a shadow of doubt that she would not have gotten through it sanely without James by her side. He had tried to convince her that she was beautiful and wonderful after Greg Pearson had used her, he had stayed by her side and held her tightly after she found out about her parents' murder. He had stolen a Polyjuice Potion right from under Professor Slughorn's nose so that he could attend the funeral with her, and afterwards had told her that he was going with her to help her find Stella, no matter what it took. James had stood up to Perry for her on multiple occasions, and knew enough about her to allow her to fight for herself as well. He had stayed by her side as they journeyed to Malfoy Manor, and fought Death Eaters and his fellow students to save Lily's friend. He had taken her in, allowed her stay in his house when she had nowhere else to go, and recently given her a Valentine's Day that she would never forget. But on top of everything, he had truly become one of her best friends, and he had shown how much he cared for her again and again. He was a huge part of her life now, the part that made her happy when she was upset, calmed her down when she was worried or afraid, and stuck by her even when most people would rather avoid her situation all together.

Once upon a time, she might have wanted a life without James Potter, but now, when asked that question, she came to realize that life without James was hardly life at all.

"Life without James," she said once more, trying to find a way to put her thoughts into words. "I think that would be a life of ease. There would not be as much annoyance, not as much constant distraction. I could have sunk into my misery until I accepted it, rather than being forced to move on. So many things would have been uncomplicated and painless, but now that I think about it, it's like you said – it shouldn't be easy. It should be worth it."

"And is he worth it?" Stella prompted.

"He makes life an adventure," Lily told her honestly, biting her lip and staring at her own hands resting in her lap. They looked almost… lonely without James' fingers twined through them. "And he makes me feel special, feel loved. No one else in the world has ever truly made me feel as though I was the single most important person in their life, but James somehow manages to do it. He's caring and funny and kind and brave – everything I could ever want. But I still feel like there's a part of me that wants to shut him out."

Lily looked up and met Stella's eyes, and the blonde looked as though she was thinking hard about something. "They say that you should follow your heart but take your brain with you," she began, speaking slowly. "And I always thought that that was the only way to do things – especially after Greg. But then I think I realized that back then, I didn't honestly know how to listen to my heart. I thought I knew what it was saying, yet, when I did what I thought it wanted, I was never completely happy. I think that maybe it was my head telling me that Greg was everything I had ever wanted, and it was just dragging my heart along for the ride. In your case, I think that your head is the smaller voice, the one that's telling you that you should stay away from James, and it's probably coming for years of poisoning yourself against him. But that's the best part – your heart is still pure, it can't be poisoned, and if it's telling you that James is the one, you had better do everything you can to make sure you chase after him with all you've got."

"I don't know," Lily said quietly. "I think James' feelings for me are a little deeper than your average crush, he's proved that much to me. I can't just go up to him and be like 'oh, guess what? I think I like you now.' Because what if something changes? I couldn't break his heart like that. I just couldn't."

"Maybe that's the first step to love," Stella told her. "Caring about the other person enough to do what's best for them."

"Love?" Lily repeated, slightly taken aback. "I'm only seventeen. And so is he, for that matter."

Stella merely shrugged. "There's no age limit on love, you know. It all depends on where your heart is. There are people who fall into true love when they're fourteen, and others who don't even know what love is by age forty. As long as you know where your heart is, you can fall in love no matter how young or old you may be."

Lily was chewing her lip quickly now, her heart beginning to pound inside her chest. There was no way on earth that was in love with James Potter.

Was there?

* * *

**Yay! I really liked this chapter, I'm quite pleased with it.**

**And thanks so so so much for over eight hundred reviews! You all are the best reviewers in the whole world! And I truly mean that to each and every one of you. (: I love you all to bits!**

**Also, if I usually read your story, but haven't reviewed, please let me know! The email alert hasn't been working right and I don't think I've gotten everyone's. (:**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_And, sometimes, you make me so mad I want to throw you in the middle of on-coming traffic, but, then, I realize I would probably kill myself trying to save you._


	43. Admitting It To Herself

**SORRY FOR THE WAIT! I have been way too busy for my own good, but now I'm on Spring Break, so hopefully I'll be able to update more often. (:**

**THANK YOU: __****Nikki Ride, littleelf, -Scp-, RaindropsOnTheRooftop, LilliesAndSunshine, Albuslover8101, laurBabes, Sarahrules336, Annunminuialiel, Alysa4eva, Cloee99, xoxtruegryffindorxox, AnonymousMSQ, elfling14, Queenie's Broken Heart, Joelle8, .potter, SecretlyAGryffindor, JezebelRedFern, MssrsMWPP, lana-bear, xMissWeasley11x, Puzzsta, Rosewood17, xExpectoxPatronumx, Dirty Blonde, shroomy-eyes, ivyflightislistening, Dryads, pinkpearl89, hpdreamer500, StaceyGibbly, raneonthewyndoepain, Lilypipo, -the smell of autumn-, UndercoverHufflepuff, Hannahble, southendunited7, xxhpmaniacxx, joe maclean, Tonks and Harry, Cristinacbarros, twilightaddict323, megg.x, supacrazyhazey, Mia, ilydeleo, Rider Arya Svit-kona, Maddy, kyo's-kitten256, ****and**_** j**_** for a totally of over one hundred reviews since the last chapter! Thanks especially to those who reviewed the previous chapters as well!**

_You give me the kind of feeling people write novels about._

**Chapter Forty-Three: Admitting It To Herself**

The next day dawned bright and sunny, still dripping from the storms of the night before. Vanessa opened her eyes slowly, wondering why her curtains were not blocking out the light, and as she peered through sleepy eyes around the Shrieking Shack, the events of the previous evening flooded into her memory.

Remus' arm was still wrapped around her waist, her back pressed against his chest. His soft snores filled the room with a peaceful rhythm, and Vanessa could have laid there for the rest of the day and been perfectly content. Life, however, would go on without her, and the brunette knew that they would be expected to be in class in a few hours' time.

So, sighing sadly, Vanessa sat up and ran a hand through Remus' golden brown hair and the corner of her mouth twitched into a smile as he sighed in contentment. It was quite wonderful to watch him sleep; Vanessa had never seen Remus so at peace as he was in that moment. It was as though all the stresses that he faced melted away, leaving his brow smooth and his mouth unwrinkled.

Remus stirred under her touch and opened his grey eyes, looking up at Vanessa in confusion.

"It stopped raining," she told him quietly, unsure of what exactly she should say in such a situation.

Remus seemed to understand, for he smiled and sat up beside her, wrapping and arm around her shoulders and pulling her towards him.

"I wonder if the others are awake," he mused. "Maybe we can sneak into the dorms without anyone noticing."

"James is probably already up," Vanessa told him with a small smile. "Lily's getting out of the hospital wing this morning and I would bet that he's gone to meet her."

Remus chuckled lightly. "At least James would believe us if we told him we didn't do anything. It's Sirius that I'm worried about."

"Good thing he's a late sleeper then," she told him, grinning and standing to stretch. "But we'd still better get going."

He nodded and the two of them made their way through the demolished house and down through the trapdoor that would take them back to the Whomping Willow. They walked in silence for a few moments and Vanessa felt compelled to say something. She was unsure what it would be, but she wanted to make certain that things did not become awkward between them. Not that they should, necessarily, but she and Remus had always had a different way of doing things in their relationship, and she was worried that maybe they had already taken it too far.

But that was silly, she decided. Just because they did not often act like a normal couple did not mean that they could not do normal couple things. And besides, they had not actually _done_ anything.

Maybe she was simply over-thinking everything, but Vanessa still felt the need to express her feelings to him somehow. Before she could find the words, however, Remus began instead.

"Ness," he said, scratching the back of his neck and blushing even in the almost pitch-black of the passage. "I…"

Vanessa laughed lightly, twining her fingers through his own and smiling up at him. "I know," she whispered, standing on tip-toe to give him a soft kiss. "Believe me, I do."

- - - - - - -

Lily had just finished getting dressed when James burst into the room, looking worried.

"What's wrong?" she asked, straightening her skirt and rushing to his side, ignoring the fact that her heartbeat had suddenly sped up and a million questions were running through her head.

"It's Remus," James explained, catching his breath. "We can't find him anywhere. I don't think he ever came to bed last night."

Lily bit her lip, feeling as though someone had just doused her in icy water. "Did you ask Vanessa? Maybe she knows something."

James shook his head, grabbing Lily's bag and leading her out of the hospital wing. "I didn't want her to worry until we'd searched for him. Peter took the Owlery and Sirius went down to the kitchens. I'm about to go search the grounds."

"Where do you want me to go?" Lily asked immediately, and James smiled down at her. "You're coming with me. I just wanted to make sure that you didn't have to walk the halls alone, not with the Slytherins still at our throats."

Lily nodded, swallowing the stubborn lump in her throat as his words forced Severus' face into her mind for the first time since their conversation the day before. _He'll change_, she told herself, half running as she and James hurried down the marble staircase and out onto the grounds. _He has to._

"Where do you think he could be?" she asked, turning in a circle in the still-wet grass. "The grounds are enormous; it will take ages to search everywhere."

"I know, love," James said softly, his hazel eyes looking warily to the ancient trees of the Forbidden Forest.

At the use of the familiar pet name, Lily felt goosebumps shoot up her spine, leaving a warm, tingling sensation throughout her entire body.

But that did not mean that she was in love with him, as Stella had implied in the hospital wing. She might fancy him – though she found it nearly impossible to even admit that much to herself. But she could not ignore the effect he was having on her. It was as if she was seeing him in a whole new light since her conversation with Stella. She was able to see that he was, in fact, quite handsome, with his toned Quidditch muscles – he was certainly not the lanky boy he had been the year before – and his clear complexion. His wire-rimmed glasses seemed to make his eyes really stand out in his face, and he had the sharp, defined jaw that one would imagine in a nobleman.

Lily shook her head, clearing it of such ridiculous thoughts and worrying that James would catch her staring. But his looks were not his only good qualities. She had meant every word that she had said to Stella; James was her adventure, her excitement, and honestly, her hero. With him, she felt like a princess, like someone who deserved to be loved unconditionally, and he was the first and only boy to ever have that effect on her.

All right, so she_ did _fancy him, plain and simple, but it still scared her to death to imagine being in love with him. He might _think _that he was in love with her, but did he really know? He had spent so long chasing her that maybe he had this image in his head that was too good for her to live up to. And who was to say that he even had a clue what love was in the first place? Did _she_ even know what it was?

Perhaps she was being too analytical, but after she chose to jump into things with Gregory Pearson, Lily had learned to figure out what she was getting herself into, and with James she had no idea. What if he truly did love her? Then she would only serve as a disappointment; she might only break his heart, and one thing was certain – she was not going to be the girl to do that to him.

Her train of thought was interrupted as Remus appeared over a hill, none other than Vanessa at his heals, fingers laced together. Lily and James breathed a simultaneous sigh of relief and rushed to greet their friends.

"Where were you?" James asked, looking back and forth between the two of them. "We've been looking everywhere."

They blushed faintly and each began their own story, babbling over each other and neither making much sense. When they finished, Lily stared at them blankly, almost ready to laugh at their flustered state.

"Come again?" asked James, a familiar smirk forming on his face that caused Lily's stomach to flip-flop.

Remus and Vanessa looked at each other briefly before Remus took a breath and explained what had happened.

"And I'm really glad it was the two of you that found us," he concluded, looking relieved. "Sirius would never have believed that we didn't actually do anything and Peter would have told him accidentally."

Lily laughed and so did James, and she marveled at how harmonious they sounded. But surely she was just being silly; her heart must be making that up in order to trick her head into believing that she could love him.

"Sure I believe you didn't do anything, Remus is afraid he's too small for you," James joked with a wink in Vanessa's direction.

The brunette raised her eyebrows, a taunting smile lighting up her features. "He's bigger than you, I'm sure. And I should know, or did you forget that time I walked in on you while you were changing?"

Some of the color drained from James' face as Lily and Remus burst into fits of laughter.

"I was fourteen!" James argued, crossing his arms. "And it was cold that day!"

Vanessa snorted. "Whatever you say, James. Though, I must admit, I honestly hardly saw anything. I didn't have a magnifying glass with me at the time."

"You are going to regret that, Reese," James said in a mock-threatening voice. "I'd watch your back for a while."

"Consider it watched, Potter," Vanessa replied, cocking an eyebrow. "Come on, you lot, we'd best get back inside."

- - - - - - -

"Remus? Can I, um, ask you a rather personal question?" Lily asked hesitantly later that night while the two of them wandered the castle on their nightly prefect patrol.

He raised his eyebrows in surprise, but nodded nonetheless, causing Lily to smile. He had always been someone she could talk to.

"You and Vanessa," she began slowly, wondering how to word what was on her mind. "How… How did you _know_?"

"Know what, exactly?"

"That's just it," Lily told him. "I'm not entirely sure. Did it just hit you one day that the two of you were right for each other, or did it take years to discover that you were even compatible? I mean, what happened to make you _know_? Does that make sense?"

Remus chuckled lightly as they turned down another long corridor. "I think it was when I realized that she cared about me no matter what I was. That she actually saw me for what I do, not what I am," he smiled at Lily, and she had to grin as her own words were repeated back to her. "I found someone who knew the good and the bad and loved me for both."

Lily's jaw dropped a bit and she stopped in her tracks, words from the beginning of the year – though it felt like much longer than that – coming back to her.

_"I'm just trying to figure this guy out," James had said as they sat in an otherwise empty compartment on the Hogwarts Express. "I mean, he threw away a chance with you. I've been trying to get that for five years now, it's not something I would be able to walk away from."_

_"Empty words," Lily had told him. "Your mind could change. I mean, you tell me all this great stuff, but you don't know the bad side of me."_

_James looked like he wanted to laugh._

_"I don't know the bad side? Are you kidding me? Lily Evans, you are impatient, insecure, you argue, you nag, you've got the worst bloody temper of anyone I've ever met, you hate being wrong, you're slow to trust people, you're awful at Transfiguration, you get stressed easily, you PMS like no other and you can be a total bitch," he paused. "Oh, and did I mention that you are the worst cook I've ever seen in my life?"_

At that point, she had been utterly torn between anger and astonishment. How on earth could he say such things to her? But then she had thought about it only to realize that, of all the people in the world, he knew her bad side more than anyone. But what had been even more mind-blowing was what he had said to her later that night.

_"Listen, Lily, I didn't get a chance to finish before," he began, standing across from her in an empty classroom off the Great Hall. "I didn't mean to make you mad or anything if I did. Though I wasn't lying. You've got a lot of flaws, but along with that, there's quite a lot of good."_

_Lily had made to interrupt, but he put a hand over her mouth to stop her._

_"Let me say this. There really are a lot of amazing things about you, Lily. You are seriously the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. You care about others, you help people, you're selfless and loving, you're braver than most people I know, you're classy and dignified, you fight for what you think is right, you stand up for people who won't stand up for themselves, you have excellent morals, you have a lovely singing voice, people just_ love_ you, chocolate solves all your problems, you humble and nurturing, you're loyal and the truest Gryffindor I've ever met."_

_Lily had been, for once in her life, at a loss for words._

_"Lily, love," James said gently, putting a hand on either side of her face and staring into her eyes. "I don't want you to think I'm lying when I tell you how wonderful you are, all right? I know you have flaws, I see them every day. But you have to realize that, to me at least, your flaws are beautiful."_

Had James not basically told her the same thing that Remus was telling her now? He had spoken of knowing all of her flaws, as well as every good thing about her character, and even though he knew both sides, he still fought to simply be her friend. He fought for her in spite of every wrong twist of her personality.

And maybe, just maybe, James did actually know what love was.

"So, why do you ask?" Remus inquired, the smile on his face showing that he already knew the answer.

Lily bit her lip. "It's just that this last year or so James has been more than wonderful to me, and he has proven that he's not just that bullying, arrogant toe rag that I always took him for. Then recently, I've started to realize that I might feel more for him than I would care to admit, but the problem is that my heart is going one way and my head is going the other, it keeps telling me that I'll only get hurt again. But my heart refuses to believe it and I just don't know what to do."

She said all of this very quickly, reminding herself of her mother for the briefest instant before taking in the calculating expression on Remus' face.

"And you're not telling him all of this because?" he prompted.

"I'm terrified of hurting him, Remus," Lily admitted in a whisper. "I'm afraid that his feelings might be deeper than mine, and I couldn't stand the thought of not giving him everything that he deserves."

Remus grinned at this. "Listen, Lily, I don't pretend to know much about love, I mean, I'm still surprised that I found it at all, so forgive me if I say the wrong thing. But it sounds to me as though your heart is winning."

"But even so," Lily argued, "What if I just fancy him? What if it's a passing thing and he's… in love with me or something and I only let him down?"

"I don't think that's the case," Remus told her seriously. "I think if you fancied him, it would be your head that was winning, because I think that's where fancying originates. But it's your heart that's winning because you care enough about him to worry about his own well-being more than some fling you might be inclined to have. And since your heart's beating your head, I'm willing to bet that this is more than just a crush, because the heart where love originates. Not like, love."

Lily turned all of this over in her mind. Could that truly be the case? Had she honestly fallen in love with James Potter? She thought she might know the answer, but still, she wanted to wait. Perhaps she was being thick, but she wanted some kind of sign, something, _anything,_ that would prove to her that it was not a passing crush. She wanted to have that feeling of certainty she had seen in Muggle films and read about in books. She wanted to know without a shadow of a doubt that James was the one for her. And if James had been able to wait years for her, surely she could wait just long enough to find that sign.

And once she found that sign, she would know without any doubt that James was the one for her, and that was when she would tell him everything, but no sooner. If she told him anything before she was absolutely certain of her own feelings, he could very likely end up getting hurt, and by this point, there was no chance in hell that she would ever take that risk. Her own possible happiness just wasn't worth that. It may sound cliché, but if nothing else, Lily knew that she cared about him enough that it would hurt her to hurt him, and never again would she take the risk of doing so.

* * *

**THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG NOTE, PLEASE BEAR WITH ME!**

**Do you realize that in one chapter the story went from eight hundred to nine hundred reviews? How totally amazing is that? I am SO THRILLED! You have no idea. YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST EVER! I love you all to bits!**

**Sorry this chapter is sort of short, but this was just the natural break. In the next chapter, sixth year will probably be wrapped up and summer will begin. You don't understand how much it's killing me to keep Lily and James apart now that she pretty knows that she has feelings for him. But one more thing has to happen before she knows for sure. Cookies to whoever can guess what that thing is. (:**

**Also, I was thinking about this today while perusing deviant art, I would be ETERNALLY grateful to anyone who would be willing to do a drawing of the OCs, or any of the characters really – especially Remus and Vanessa or Constance or Stella. (: I would be happy to trade, I can make a banner for your story such as the ones I have links to on my profile. Let me know if you're interested! :D**

**And I am going back and editing this story, like HEAVY editing. I've added some more scenes and changed a few things, but I don't think I'm going to post it until I finish the story. Believe me though, it's going to be so much better than it is now, so I just wanted to give you a heads up! If there is anything that you would like to see changed or added, please let me know!**

**I updated Wings today! If you aren't already reading it, you really should check it out! I think it's really going to turn out good. (:**

**Thanks for everything!**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_Let your heart guide you, but remember, it whispers – so listen __**carefully.**__  
____– The Land Before Time_


	44. Anything But A Fairytale

**THANK YOU: Nikki Ride, Queenie's Broken Heart, Puzzsta, Kmonae, hpdreamer500, SecretlyAGryffindor, elfling14, Sarahrules336, -Scp-, twilightaddict323, raneonthewyndoepain, Hannahble, Cloee99, Akt5us, RaindropsOnTheRooftop, Rosewood17, Joelle8, MssrsMWPP, Stef, October Dusk, xoxtruegryffindorxox, ivyflightislistening, StaceyGibbly, The person, UndercoverHufflepuff, bluesmidge101, ilydoleo, WhiteCamellia, -the smell of autumn-, pinkpearl89, and pigckle8 for the wonderful reviews! You guys are the best!**

**Disclaimer: JKR owns everything. I am merely borrowing her fabulous characters and her marvelous world to create something that could never measure up to her original books. She's da bomb. XD**

_Maybe it's not about the happily ever after. Maybe it's about the story._

**Chapter Forty-Four: Anything But A Fairytale**

The end of the school year approached in chaos as students crammed for exams and did all they could to savor their last days on the grounds of the castle before the summer holiday would begin. Duncan Perry was fired due to inappropriate behavior and failure to accurately judge safety in the classroom, and the students could only hope that the next Defense teacher turned out far more adequate.

In the final lesson Lily had with the younger students, Dorcas was able to perfect her Patronus, which was surprising for her young age. Though perhaps it was as she had said – it was easier for children because they still had hope. And that hope was reflected in the delicate silver dove that soared around the Common Room that evening. After that, the defense group broke up, hoping only that in the upcoming year, such a thing would not be necessary.

It had been a long year at Hogwarts, full of pain and anguish and anger, but more importantly, to Lily at least, it had also contained much laughter and friendship. She had lost her parents, but through that, had found comfort in none other than James Potter. The two of them had finally – officially – put aside any and all differences and become friends, and he was now one of her best. Her feelings for him had never been more confusing, but it was a happy confusion for the first time in her life.

Lily had learned so much throughout the year – and not only in her classes. She had learned not to fall for the boy who kisses up to her solely to win her affection, rather, to wait for the one who would make her angry, the one who could truly make her _feel _something. She learned what it was like to lose people you love, such as her parents and Severus, though admittedly, in different ways. But she had also learned how to let people go. It had not been easy to force Severus out of her life, but she had done it and had a feeling that perhaps they would both be the better for it. And maybe, just maybe, he cared about her enough to change for her – something she wholeheartedly believed he could do. Lily had also learned that in difficult times, people were more likely to be able to put their differences aside, as she and Petunia had done at their parents' funeral. She had learned that no one was incapable of change, and that even a Slytherin could go against their family and die for their beliefs. The trip to Malfoy Manor had taught her the true meaning of courage, that being brave was not having no fear, but fighting even though one was scared senseless. Lily had learned to value the quiet days and the days spent with her friends, because Constance had proven to her that life could end at any time. The war – which loomed right outside the castle walls – had taught her the evils of judgment and prejudice, and she knew she would never be able to hate someone based solely on their blood or background. She had discovered the corruption of the government through Vanessa's hearing, and knew now that perhaps tradition and habit could lead to its downfall. And most importantly of all, Lily was beginning to learn the very nature of love.

She had found that love was nothing like what she had heard of in Muggle fairytales. It was not a blissful feeling that magically swelled up in a heart the moment one laid eyes upon their soul mate. Love was so much more than that, and it encompassed so many aspects of her life. First there was the love of her family, which remained rooted in her heart even though her parents were no longer physically with her. Not only that, but she still loved Petunia; they were still sisters in spite of the deep tear in their relationship. Next was the love of her friends. Over the last year, Alice, Vanessa, James, Remus, Sirius, Peter, and Frank had all shown her the meaning of that kind of love. They had followed her into the very heart of the Death Eaters' headquarters to rescue a person they had never met simply because Stella had been a friend of Lily's. They had fought alongside her even though each and every one of them knew that they were risking death or worse. If that was not love, nothing was.

And finally, there was the love that she was beginning to suspect she might feel for James, and the love she thought he felt for her, which, more than any of the others, was nothing like a fairytale. All Cinderella had to do was put on a pretty dress and lose a shoe to captivate her prince, and though he searched the kingdom over trying to find her, he did so for her beauty, for he knew nothing of who she truly was. Snow White had never met the man who kissed her from her sleep, but her story insinuates that true love needs no words, no introductions. They merely kissed and were in love forevermore. Hell, however, had nothing to do with those stories, but Lily and James had been there and back together through the years they had known each other. With the two of them, their had always been so much passion, even if it was in their hatred for one another, at least they were feeling something so strongly that they could not hold it in. Falling into an enchanted sleep was out of the question, for the majority of their lives they would much rather have cursed each other into oblivion than kiss and fall forever in love. They argued and fought and slayed their dragons side by side. But the best part was that Lily did not have to kiss the frog to turn him into a prince. The frog had cared about her so much that he had taken it into his own hands to change, and had done so more beautifully than she could ever have done for him.

If what she felt for James was, if fact, love, then Lily knew whoever wrote the fairytales had never experienced love for themselves. Love was passion, and sweat, and blood, and tears. It was Quidditch, hexes, werewolves, troll blood, sunflowers, pranks, Valentines and everything in between. It was a boy staying awake all night to chase away a girl's nightmares, and a girl wanting nothing more than to relinquish the power she had over the boy because hurting him would surely kill her. Love was an adventure, not an extended sleep and it needed no aid from a fairy godmother. It's been said that love is all you need because love, in reality, is everything. It's not the end of the journey or the happily ever after, rather, it's the very path itself.

All of this hit Lily as she was alone in the dormitory, packing her last few things while the others headed down for an early dinner. The end of year feast would take place the next night, and then they would be free for the summer.

She had already admitted to herself that she _fancied_ James, but now love? What was that all about? The young witch sank down onto her mattress and hugged a pillow to her chest, turning over everything in her mind. Stella had said that there was no age limit on love, and maybe that was true, but she and James… well, no one in their right mind would ever have considered the two of them a match.

But, then again, Lily had also learned that love had nothing to do with the mind. It was not something she could read about or analyze and ever truly understand. The only way to get it was to feel it in her heart, and at the very thought of James, its beat sped up and it seemed to swell to twice its size.

So Lily could no longer deny to herself that she had more than a crush on James, they had been through too much together, had caused each other to feel more than anyone else ever could, but it was the most mind-blowing thing Lily had ever realized.

Feeling nauseous, the redhead rushed into the bathroom, where she did not hesitate to vomit up the steak and kidney pie she had eaten for lunch earlier that day. After giving only dry heaves for a good few minutes, Lily sat down and leaned her back against the wall, resting her head there. She had read that life-altering events and decisions could often make one physically sick, but she had never fully believed it until that moment. Lily knew that this meant she had_ finally_ accepted her feelings for James, whatever they might be. After six years of fighting, her heart was victorious.

"Lily?" Alice's voice called from outside the bathroom. "Are you sure you don't want to go down to dinner with us? The boys are going to pull another end of the year prank!"

"No thanks, Al," Lily told her through the door, feigning a laugh. "I want to get all my packing done. Besides, knowing you and Ness, I'll be spending all of my time tomorrow helping you find things."

Alice's musical laughter rang though the room. "All right, all right, I'll be sure to bring you up some chocolate cake!"

Lily heard the little blonde's light footsteps and then the door closed somewhere in the distance before Lily pulled off her clothes and stepped into the shower, hoping that the hot water would get rid of the chills that were racing up and down her spine. It did help, but she still felt slightly sick to her stomach as she stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in a towel. She brushed her teeth thoroughly, trying to eliminate the acidic taste in her mouth before she exited the bathroom to find some clean clothes.

"OI!" a male voice yelled as she stepped into the dormitory, and Lily saw James slap his hands over his eyes and turn around. It was a good thing, too, for at the sight of him, Lily felt the blood rush to her cheeks as shivers shot through her body. "Warn a guy next time!"

"How was I supposed to know you were even there?" Lily retorted, trying desperately to keep her voice even. "This is _my _dormitory!"

"Just cover up please?" he asked, a little softer this time. "Not that you aren't ridiculously beautiful, but _damn_, Lily, you don't know what you do to me."

Lily felt her blush deepen and glanced in the mirror to find her face as red as the bed hangings from the roots of her hair all the way down her neck. "Calm down," she told him, cursing her red hair and the skin that came with it. She pulled on an old pair of shorts and a t-shirt quickly, though her hands were still shaking from her sickness, and glanced in the mirror one last time to ensure that her cheeks had returned to their normal color. "Okay, you can look now."

James let out a sigh of relief and turned around, removing his hands from his eyes as he did so.

"What are you doing in here, anyway?" Lily asked as she towel-dried her long hair and hoped to Merlin that she did not give her new-found feelings away.

He shrugged, flopping back onto Alice's bed. "I haven't had my daily dose of Lily yet," he told her outright, and Lily turned away under the pretense of looking for a brush to hide her once-more scarlet cheeks.

_This is ridiculous_, she told herself, shaking her head and ignoring the puzzled look James shot in her direction. _A year ago you would have been screaming at Potter to get the hell out of your room, where's that now?_

_But this is not a year ago,_ the voice in her head responded, as always, reminiscent of Alice. _And he's not just 'Potter' to you anymore, Lily. You just admitted that you might be in love with him; of course you're going to act differently around him._

_But what if I don't want to be different? _Lily argued, unashamed that she was talking to herself. _I mean, James… loved me for who I was, I can't go changing on him now._

Alice's musical laugh echoed in her ears. _So you do care what he thinks, huh? Well, I wouldn't worry too much. I have a feeling he's going to love you no matter what._

"Lily?" James asked, breaking her thought process. "Are you listening to me?"

She grinned bashfully, folding a pair of robes and laying them in her neatly packed trunk. "No, sorry. I've been a bit, erm, distracted lately."

James cocked an eyebrow and put his hands behind his head, causing the muscles in his arms to flex. Lily looked away, worried she might be caught staring, but luckily, James did not seem to notice. "Are you worried about the break?" he asked, misjudging her distraction.

Lily decided to use this as an excuse, for she was, in fact, very unsure of what the future would hold for a parentless witch with only a sister who hated her. "A little," she told him, taking a seat on her own bed and facing him. "I just want things to be right with Tuney again. I mean, she's all I have now."

"You know that's not true," James argued, immediately kneeling in front of her. He cupped her cheek with one hand and used the other to hold her own, making Lily's heart rate speed up considerably. The redhead had to fight to keep her breathing even, and she knew that James could surely see the goosebumps forming on her arms and legs, but if he did, he ignored them. "I will always be here for you; you have a home to go back to, even if you may have preferred it elsewhere."

Lily was touched, and knew that there was good reason behind her newfound feelings for the man in front of her. "James," she told him, more honestly than he would ever know. "There is nowhere on earth I would rather be."

His hazel eyes lit up at this statement, and Lily felt as though everything inside of her had liquefied, completely and utterly melted. She was able to have that effect on him, she could bring the light to his eyes and she knew it. He, on the other hand, had no idea that was becoming that same light to her.

And, for now, Lily would keep it that way.

- - - - - - -

Alice and Frank sat together in the Hog's Head one last time before Frank would be gone from the school forever. It was making Alice a little nostalgic as she sat and listened to him try to solve the riddle Aberforth had posed for him.

"The three wisest sages in the land were brought before the king to see which of them were worthy to become the king's advisor. After passing many tests of cunning and invention, they were pitted against each other in a final battle of the wits. Led blind-folded into a small room, the sages were seated around a small wooden table as the king described the test for them. "Upon each of your heads I have placed a hat. Now you are either wearing a blue hat or a white hat. All I will tell you is this- at least one of you is wearing a blue hat. There may be only one blue hat and two white hats, there may be two blue hats and one white hat, or there may be three blue hats. But you may be certain that there are not three white hats." "I will shortly remove your blind folds, and the test will begin. The first to correctly announce the color of his hat shall be my advisor. Be warned however, he who guesses wrongly shall be beheaded. If not one of you answers within the hour, you will be sent home and I will seek elsewhere for wisdom." With that, the king uncovered the sages' eyes and sat in the corner and waited. One sage looked around and saw that his competitors each were wearing blue hats. From the look in their eyes he could see their thoughts were the same as his, "What is the color of my hat?" For what seemed like hours no one spoke. Finally he stood up and said, "The color of the hat I am wearing is...""

She watched Frank's puzzled expression with a small smile on her face, knowing that he would be able to figure it out. Frank was one of the smartest people she knew, and she had quite a few intelligent friends.

"It's blue," Frank answered after a moment of silence.

Aberforth grinned widely, much like a proud father. "Why?"

Frank smiled as well, knowing now that his thoughts were correct. "Consider a situation which we knew was not the case- that there was exactly one blue hat. What would happen? There would be a split second of pondering by the person wearing that hat, and he would say "I am wearing a blue hat." No real puzzle there, but of course there wasn't just one blue hat. The important fact is that _everyone_ knew there was not one blue hat. But more importantly than that, _everyone_ knew, or could quickly figure out that everyone else knew this (by the fact that answer was did not come out in the first few seconds.) This leaves everyone wondering, "Are there two or three blue hats?" Consider this less obvious situation- that there were exactly two blue hats. This seems a very real possibility at first, after all, we can see exactly two blue hats. So everyone sits and thinks- for a little while. But if there are only two hats, then two people see one blue and one white hat. These two people will very quickly, by virtue of the other's silence, rule out the possibility that there is only one blue hat. One of these two lucky sages would cry blue within a few short minutes, if that long. There is only one case which forces the three sages to sit in silence- three blue hats. Our sage, through his sharp wits was the first to reach this conclusion. "

"Well, that's the hardest I've got," Aberforth admitted, looking impressed. "I've been saving it all this time and you got it in under ten minutes. You'll do fine in your Auror training, son."

"Thanks," Frank told him, looking thrilled to have the aging bartender's approval. "You don't know how much that means to me, Aberforth."

With a wink of a twinkling blue eye, Aberforth made his way into the back room, muttering something about finding a new rag.

"Frank," Alice said softly, ready to talk to him about fears that she would not even admit to herself.

"Yes, love?" he asked, taking her hand absently.

Alice smiled at the touch, but there was something she had to get off of her chest, so she ignored the butterflies in her stomach and began to speak again. "What's going to happen next year? You're going to be off at Auror training and I'm going to be here, and there's a war going on! Anything could happen to you! You could get hurt or even killed, or maybe you'll fall in love with some strong girl who you go through training with and all I'll be able to do is sit here and do nothing!"

"Oh, Alice," Frank breathed, pulling her off the barstool and into his arms. "There is no chance in hell that I could fall for anyone harder than I've fallen for you, all right?"

She nodded into his chest, taking in his warm, woody scent as though she would never smell it again.

"And I'm not going to get hurt and I'm certainly not going to die, Al. I have way too much to live for to let that happen."

- - - - - - -

"Do you have anywhere to go?" Sirius asked her out of the blue.

Stella was sitting with the Marauder at one of the low tables in the Common Room, playing Wizard's Chess – something the blonde knew she would never get used to – the next day before the end of term feast.

"When we leave for the holiday, I mean," he clarified.

She sighed, watching his knight take her queen valiantly. "Honestly, I have no idea what I'm going to do. I have a few distant family members I could stay with, but that would mean explaining so much – they've all been told I died in the attack as well, for their own safety."

Sirius nodded, looking unsure. "You could come stay with James and me again," he suggested, grey eyes boring into her. "I know it's not exactly my place to ask, but James' mum loved you the last time we were there. I'm sure she wouldn't object."

Stella bit her lip. She was growing so close to Sirius and his friends, and would have liked nothing more than to spend the summer with them, but what if she was only putting them in more danger? It had not been difficult for the Death Eaters to capture her the last time, though, admittedly, they had caught her off guard, but all the same, what was she against a group of powerful wizards? By staying with Sirius and James and becoming closer with them, she was ensuring another rescue should anything happen to her, and what if one of them got hurt trying to save her? She was merely a liability, and she hated that fact.

"I don't know, Sirius," she answered honestly, though she was unsure if she should explain her reasoning to him. "I mean, I don't belong in this world – I never have. Maybe it would be better if I got out before anything else gets messed up because of me."

"Messed up?" he repeated in a low growl. "What are you talking about?"

Stella had never been one to cry, and if ever she did, she hated to let others see it. Remembering the fight at Malfoy Manor – which most often, she desperately avoided – brought tears to her eyes in spite of herself.

Swallowing the lump in her throat and blinking furiously, she continued. "Sirius, if I hadn't needed saving, you lot would never have gone to Malfoy Manor, and if you had not been there, there would have been no need for Constance to try to protect you. It's my fault she's dead."

A single tear rolled down her cheek and she hastily brushed it away, angry with herself for showing a weakness. Sirius, however, gave no indication that he thought any less of her for it, instead, he softened.

"It's not your fault," he said firmly, looking as though he wanted to take her hand, but he was holding himself back – for which she was grateful. "The only people to blame are Voldemort and Lucius Malfoy. If they weren't so damn rooted in their ridiculous beliefs, Constance would never have had to stand up to them in the first place, and if they had hearts at all, they wouldn't have killed her."

"But still –"

"No buts," he cut her off. "Constance died a hero, there was no shame in her death, except, perhaps, on Lucius' part. She knew what she was getting herself into when she decided to help us, and everything she did was by choice. You had nothing to do with it."

Stella sighed. "But, listen to me, please," she asked, and he closed his mouth, looking at her intently. "She chose to do all that because she wanted to do the right thing, she wanted to make up for all of the wrong she had done. And she wanted to help the people that she was beginning to consider something like friends. That's why all of you came to save me, wasn't it? For friendship? Say that I got captured again, I imagine all of you would come after me without a second thought, but what if it's one of you that dies this time, Sirius? I could never forgive myself! It's best that I just disappear from your lives, you can forget about me and maybe you can all be a little bit safer."

Sirius was staring at her incredulously. "There is no chance in hell that we could ever forget you," he stated simply.

"But maybe if I was away from you, you wouldn't hear if something happened to me. If I was with you, you'd know."

"Who says anything's going to happen to you anyway?" Sirius asked, crossing his arms over his chest. "We can take care of you."

"I know you can, Sirius," she said, her heart warming slightly at his words. "But let's face it, you let down your guard for even a moment and I am completely defenseless. I'm not a witch; I don't have any special powers. There's nothing I can do to stop the Death Eaters."

"What was it Moody told us?" Sirius asked with a grin. "I believe it was 'CONSTANT VIGILANCE!' And that is exactly what I plan to have."

Stella had to laugh a little at his fairly good impression of the wizened Auror. "But then I'm just a burden to you. In case you haven't noticed, that is not something that I want to be."

"I know that, Stell," he said seriously, and she could not help but believe the sincere look in his eyes. "But would it make it any better if I said that I _wanted_ to take care of you?"

Stella felt her face redden and mentally slapped herself. _He means that completely platonically, _the voice in her head reminded her._ After all, he could have any girl in this room, why would he pick you?_

She knew it was right, and took a deep breath, praying that Sirius had not noticed the color in her cheeks. "No, I'd say you were crazy," Stella answered lightly, wondering how on earth his words could have such an effect on her when he could not even touch her without making her flinch. "Besides, I'm a mess. There's not much worth taking care of."

Sirius gave her an appraising look, and this time she was able to keep the blush away, folding her arms and holding her ground against him.

"You'd be surprised," he told her with his wolfish grin. "Besides, we're all disasters when you think about it. You should have seen Lily after the whole Pearson incident. She would hardly eat and she wore so much makeup it was hard to recognize her. Alice completely turned her back on a mother who never really loved her and now all she has is a boyfriend who is leaving for Auror training in the fall. Vanessa and Remus haven't even been able to touch each other since his birthday and now all they do is look for a loophole in the law. They're fighting a losing battle against the government itself. James, well, do I even need to say anything? He's fallen harder than I've ever seen anyone fall and it's over a girl that hated him for most of the time she's known him. Then there's me," he paused momentarily, and Stella leaned closer slightly, quite intrigued. "I don't even know where to begin. My family's been screwing me over since the day I was born; I've had their Pureblood ideas shoved so far down my throat that I could hardly breathe. I somehow managed to find my way into Gryffindor, even though few people ever thought I was good enough to be here. And somehow all of us found each other. I don't necessarily believe in fate – Divination sort of bled that out of me – but maybe you're here with all of us for a reason. Maybe you're where you're supposed to be."

Stella thought about that for a moment, searching his eyes and hoping to find truth there. "But for what reason?"

"I don't know," he told her honestly, and Stella almost smiled. That, above all else, was something that made her believe she could trust him, even though everything in her head was screaming that no boy was worth it. "No one really knows what their purpose is until they've served it. But how can you walk away when you haven't figured it out yet? I mean, if you're going to run, you sure as hell better be running towards something, rather than away from it."

"Says the guy who ran away from home," Stella teased, though she took his words to heart.

Sirius grinned. "What I was running towards was greater than what I was running away from. I was looking for the truth, for the good side of this fight, and that's worth a million of my family."

"But what would I be running to if I stayed?"

Sirius shrugged. "Whatever it is, it's better than running away from your fears, even if they have good intentions behind them."

- - - - - - -

Vanessa sat in her compartment on the Hogwart's Express the following morning with a heavy heart. So far, though she and Remus had searched every book in the library pertaining to werewolves, and consulted numerous members of the Ministry, they had found nothing that would allow their relationship to continue in any way. They had learned that Remus did, in fact, have something similar to an underage wizard's Trace, that detected anyone he touched, and if that person was a female outside of his family, then the Committee for Werewolf Registration and Control would take him into government custody – and who knew what they would do with him after that.

People were watching them, too. A few of the professors who's sympathies lay with the Ministry, as well as students who had parents on the Committee seemed to be paying close attention to Remus and Vanessa ever since his birthday in March, so they could hardly even have a private conversation anymore.

In spite of everything that was against them, however, the two Gryffindors had not lost hope. They had learned that, perhaps, these things happened to test the strength of love between two people. Maybe everyone who stood a chance at being together had to go through trials – Lily and James were a prime example – and this was what Remus and Vanessa would have to face.

It hurt her not to be able to show how much she cared about Remus, but occasionally, they were able to share loving, knowing smiles across the table, sneak affectionate winks when no one was looking, and even send each other a heartfelt letter in the morning mail.

It was not much, and it certainly was not what Vanessa would have thought of as love, but the brunette was beginning to learn that love was so much more than what she had originally believed it to be, and although their relationship had to be kept secret, she was discovering that it was all part of the grand adventure that she and Remus had elected to travel together. And adventures, well, they could not be made entirely of good times, could they? Every adventure had to have its downturns, its hardships, for, in the end, they were what made the entire ride worthwhile.

* * *

**And so ends Sixth Year. (:**

**I hope you liked that chapter! I've really grown to enjoy exploring love and what it is through these characters. They all love so deeply, even though they may not realize it, and I think that their love is love in the purest, truest sense of the word. After everything they've been through, I think they really get it, you know? And that's what makes this era and these characters so wonderful to write about it. They aren't shallow, you know? There's just a lot to them and to their relationships. They don't just fall in love one day out of the blue, they go through all of this crap and a whole lot of good stuff as well before they truly fall for each other, and I really hope that I've captured that for you before Lily and James start their relationship. Remus and Vanessa could start earlier because I think they were a bit more emotionally mature than Lily and James. Even Lily had to grow up before she could fall in love. Tell me what you think! And I'm sorry if I offended anyone by bashing the fairytales. :P**

**OH! And I really hope that you caught the contrast between Lily and Stella in this chapter. Lily is the one who is sort of fighting to NOT love, so the voice in her head is trying to convince her that she SHOULD love. Stella is the exact opposite. Deep down, she believes in love so much that it could be considered quite foolish, but she believes nonetheless, so in her case, her head is advising her against love. I just thought it was a neat comparison. XD**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_Go after her, fuck, don't just sit there and wait for her to call, go after her, because that's what you should do if you love her. Don't wait for her to give you a sign because it might never come. Go scream you love her and be with her, because that is beautiful and that is generous and that is what loving someone is, that is raw and that is unguarded, and that is all that is worth anything, really._


	45. In Spite of Fear

**So I've just realized that the breaks I put in the chapters between sections have disappeared sometime between uploading and posting each chapter, so I'm working on fixing it. I know that it can be confusing if it just randomly switches people.**

**The theme of Head Vs. Heart continues in this chapter. Do you guys like that? I know I'm using it a lot, but it's really important to this group of characters.**

**THANK YOU: _pigckle8, twilightaddict323, MssrsMWPP, Joelle8, Marteczka's Quill, Sarahrules336, raneonthewyndoepain, Puzzsta, Alysa4eva, SecretlyAGryffindor, -the smell of autumn-, WhiteCamellia, Albuslover8101, Nikki Ride, -Scp-, StaceyGibbly, shroomy-eyes, Annunminuialiel, Cloee99, LozzT-In-Time, elfling14, Cristinacbarros, hmr067, lilmisssmileen, Rosewood17, meggx, missivypotter, ilydeleo, Hannahble, October Dusk, xExpectoxPatronumx, bluesmidge101, AnonymousMSQ, ivyflightislistening, UndercoverHufflepuff, Kmonae, Queenie's Broken Heart, MyTinyDancer, pinkpearl89, wishing he's still alive, _and_ AvidRead123_ for all of the awesome reviews! I love you all to bits!**

Girl_: In case you didn't realize. My heart was just recently shattered into a thousand pieces.  
_Boy_: In case you didn't realize. I want to glue all the pieces back together, even if it takes the rest of our lives._

**Chapter Forty-Five: In Spite of Fear**

The train ride home was unusually quiet, especially considering all four of the Marauders were present. Lily, Alicia, Vanessa, Stella, and Frank tried numerous times to start a conversation, but they would merely receive one or two word answers before the boys would go back to staring in different directions.

"That's it," Alice huffed, throwing her copy of Which Broomstick across the compartment and hitting Sirius right between the eyes. "What's wrong with you four?"

Sirius and Peter glanced at each other briefly before looking at James, who shot them a glare before turning to Remus, who was staring at the ground.

"We know something's wrong," Lily pressed on, crossing her arms and meeting James' eyes. "You can tell us, you know."

"There's no point in making everyone miserable with all this silent fighting," Alice insisted.

James shot Frank a sideways glance before finally saying, "It has to do with Remus', erm, 'furry little problem.' And, well –"

Frank chuckled softly. "I've heard you use that enough times to know it's code for something," he told them. "I'll go, you guys can talk freely then."

"Thanks," Remus said, giving him a relieved smile.

Once Frank was gone, the girls turned back to the Marauder's waiting for the story.

"Last night was full moon, as I'm sure you all know," James began. When the others nodded, he continued, "Sirius, Pete, and I always take Remus down to the Whomping Willow, but last night, I was the only one who showed up."

"We ran into Snape," Sirius growled, motioning to himself and Peter. "And he was being a git, as usual."

"Kept asking where we were going and where Remus was," added Peter. "He was talking about how he knew what Remus was, and how he was going to tell everyone."

"But he had no proof of anything," Sirius said quickly, noticing the others' worried looks. "I mentioned it to him, and he just went on about how he didn't need any, and then I had an idea."

Lily gasped, understanding before he said anything else. "Sirius, you didn't –"

"I did," he confirmed, looking sheepish.

"Wait," interrupted Alice. "_What_ did you do?"

"I offered him a chance to see what happened with his own eyes," Sirius told her, looking more ashamed by the minute. "I was hoping to scare him out of saying anything."

"Sirius, you could have gotten him killed," Vanessa said, looking horrified. "I know none of us are… fond of Snape, but what if Remus had hurt him? Rem would never have forgiven himself!"

"Look, I know," Sirius insisted, his shame turning to anger. "You think I haven't heard all of this already? I was a stupid move, okay?"

"Don't get mad at her," Remus told him harshly, his eyes flashing.

"Stop arguing," Stella commanded as Sirius opened his mouth to retort. "The school isn't in an uproar or anything, and Snape is still alive, so what happened? Did he not see anything? Why hasn't he told anyone?"

"I got him out," James said, looking slightly disgusted. "But not before he caught a glimpse of Remus transforming."

"What were you still doing down there if he was already changing?" Lily asked, staring at James as though he was crazy.

James looked around at the other Marauders before answering. "I was already back at the castle when Sirius told me what he'd done, so I ran back."

He rubbed the back of his neck as he said this, and Lily knew that he did that when he was forced to lie to his friends.

"You're not telling the truth," she stated, unsure if she was even angry. "But it's all right. You saved Severus, and you're okay, so we should just put the whole thing out of our minds."

All of the boys looked at her gratefully, but Alice seemed to want to say more. Instead, she simply stood and muttered something about going to find Frank. Vanessa picked the discarded magazine up off the floor and began flipping through it, and James moved to sit between her and Lily.

"I really wish I could tell you everything," he said softly, and the redhead gave him a small smile.

"I believe you," she told him. "And I know that there are things that I haven't been able to tell in the past. It's something between you and your friends and it can stay that way as long as you want it to."

James' worried expression broke into a grin, and he unexpectedly kissed her on the cheek – something he hadn't done in a long time.

"So you trust me then?" he breathed in her ear, and Lily knew her face must be bright red, especially since Sirius was watching her in amusement.

She pushed him away lightly. "I've told you before that I do."

"I know, I just love to hear it."

Lily bit her lip hard to keep a silly smile off of her face. It was amazing that he could say simple things like that so seriously that she was truly able to believe him.

"Erm, right," she answered lamely, all the while wondering how on earth she was supposed to get through the summer without falling for him even harder.

Getting off the train for the summer was strange for Lily, since she knew that her parents would not be waiting for her amidst the regular chaos of the Platform. Instead, she helped James, Sirius, and Stella look for the Potters, for all of them would be staying at their mansion for the holiday.

"I wonder if it ever gets any easier," Stella whispered, so low that only Lily could hear while the two of them waved goodbye to a Dorcas and Marlene.

Lily was slightly startled by this. She was so used to the idea that Stella was so damaged by Greg Pearson, that she often forgot that the tall blonde had lost her parents and sister a year ago, just like Lily had. "I don't know," she told her honestly. "But at least neither of us are completely alone."

Stella gave her a small smile and gasped slightly as Mrs. Potter appeared and pulled her into a tight hug.

"I'm simply thrilled that you girls will be staying with us," the older woman gushed. "It's under the worst possible circumstances, I know, but hardships are merely blessings in disguise."

"Thank you, Mrs. Potter," Lily told her sincerely as she was also given a very loving hug. "I don't know what we would have done without you."

Mrs. Potter tucked a strand of her graying black hair behind her ear and gave the girls a watery smile. "Nonsense, dears. You'll always be welcome."

At that moment, James' father appeared at his wife's shoulder, and Lily could not help but notice that he looked nervous and a bit fidgety, which was odd. He had seemed very calm and easy going the last time Lily had seen him. She cast a sideways glance at James and saw that he was looking concerned as well, but any thought of it was driven momentarily from her mind as Alice, Frank, Remus, Vanessa, and Peter all began finding their families and saying goodbye to the four that would be staying with the Potters.

"Lily," Alice whispered, tugging on the redhead's sleeve and pulling her away from the group.

"What is it, Al?"

The little blonde played with Frank's class ring, which was still hanging around her neck, absentmindedly. "I'm just a bit worried about meeting Frank's mum, much less staying with her for the summer," Alice admitted, blushing and glancing around to make sure that she was not overheard. "I'm sure she's wonderful, but she gave up her social status for a reason. What if she thinks I'm just another high society… _slut?"_

"Don't worry, Alice," Lily assured her friend. "Even if that is her very first impression, after getting to know you even a little she'll realize that you're nothing like the people your mum associates herself with. Besides, you left your home and all of that anyway. That has to count for something."

Alice bit her lip and straightened out her favorite Wimbourne Wasps t-shirt. "Thanks, Lily," she said, holding her head a little higher. "Wish me luck."

"Good luck," Lily told her with a smile as the petite witch danced back to Frank's side.

James was instantly by her side.

"Dad says we need to get out of here," he told Lily quietly, taking her hand and pulling her back to where the others were congregated. She swallowed hard, trying to subdue the butterflies that had awoken in her stomach at his touch. "He's worried about a Death Eater attack since there are so many Muggleborns and half-bloods here in one place."

Even as he talked, Lily saw his eyes darting around the Platform, looking for anything suspicious, and this made her nervous, for James was rarely uptight like that.

So once the four students reached James' parents, they all headed to the designated Dispparation area and thought of Potter Manor, before spinning on the spot and being sucked through space and time.

* * *

It was late by the time they arrived, coughing and holding their stomachs, and they stumbled into the parlor where the house elves took their luggage.

Stella had only traveled by Side-Along Apparation once before, and it was clear to her that such a manner of travel was not for Muggles. It left her exhausted and nauseated and all she wanted to do was go to sleep, and fortunately, night was quickly approaching.

"Are you hungry?" Mrs. Potter asked kindly, leading the four of them into the kitchen, where the house elves (Stella still could not get used to them) were preparing soup and bread.

"_Starving_," James and Sirius moaned together, and Lily and Stella had to avoid each other's eyes for fear of bursting into laughter.

As they ate, they talked about plans for the summer – places they wanted to go, things they wanted to see – and Stella felt a rush of happiness that she had not experienced in a long time. This was a much better environment than the one that she had been a part of the last time they appeared on the Potter's doorstep, bruised and bleeding and terrified, and it was amazing that something as simple as sitting at a scrubbed wooden table with a few good friends all talking and laughing together could bring her such an unrelenting joy. But perhaps, that was what war and pain did to a person – made them appreciate the little things in such a great way – and maybe, maybe that was not such a bad thing after all.

The stars were twinkling brightly overhead next to a newly-dwindling moon when the four of them stood from the table and made their way up the familiar grand staircase and back into their old bedrooms, where the house elves had unpacked their belongings neatly.

Stella washed up and pulled on shorts and a t-shirt – something she had picked up from Lily – and climbed into the huge bed that sat in the middle of her elaborately furnished bedroom. It was beautiful – a place that not even a princess could turn up her nose at – but laying in that bed, Stella was overcome by a rush a memories, none of which were pleasant. She was reminded of the first night she spent in Potter Manor, only a few months before. That first night, and many of the following, had be plagued with nightmares of the darkest kind – of death and destruction and Greg Pearson, and she often found herself reliving the horror he had brought to her life.

Trying to push thoughts of him from her mind, Stella curled up beneath the warm covers of the bed and snuggled into her pillow, willing herself to fall into a dreamless sleep.

But even her strong will was not enough to keep the nightmares at bay, and Stella found herself back in the locked cellar of Malfoy Manor, cold and hungry and tired. That same feeling of helplessness and anger that had wound its way into the darkest corners of her heart crept back to the surface as the heavy wooden door creaked open and the man – if one could even call him that – approached her leisurely, desire burning in his eyes.

"Greg," Stella pleaded, her voice going back to the harsh croak it had been after months of being locked away. "Not tonight, please not tonight."

He grabbed her roughly under the chin and forced her brown eyes to meet his cold blue ones. A smug smile twisted itself across his face as she showed the fear that, in reality, she had never allowed him to see.

"That's right, Stella," he murmured, his lips brushed her ear and sending icy shivers up her spine. "_Beg."_

Then, like so many times before, Greg yanked away the skimpy lingerie that covered her hunger-thinned frame and began running his rough hands up and down her body, while his lips crashed into hers, forcing them open as his tongue slid around in her mouth.

If there was such a thing as a harsh caress, that was what he did to her, catching all the tender spots between his fingers and always squeezing too hard.

"Undress me," he ordered against her lips, moving down to kiss and suck at her neck.

Stella gulped. "No."

His hands found their way to her breasts, and he dug his fingers into them and pushed her back against the wall, causing her to cry out in pain. "Do it."

So with shaking hands, she did as he commanded, begging her body to wake up and save her from that horrible place.

As if someone, somewhere heard her prayers, Stella's eye snapped open immediately, but then she realized that it was a man shaking her awake and it took all of her efforts to contain a scream.

"It's all right," he breathed, sensing her fear, and instantly took a few steps back.

"Sirius," Stella choked out, sighing in relief. "What are you doing?"

In the dark, she saw him cross his arms and kick at the rug. "I was walking by your room and you sort of screamed. I ran in and you were thrashing around, so I woke you up."

"Thank you," she told him softly, marveling at how different he was from Greg, even though the traits they started life with were very much the same. "I was having a nightmare. It was about_ him_."

Stella could not make out his facial expression, but she was able to hear the low growl that emitted from his throat at her statement, and she had to smile at how protective he had become.

"I," he began, starting to step forward, but stopping himself almost immediately. He sighed in frustration and ran a hand through his hair. "What can I do?"

She sighed as well. "I'm so sick of being afraid," she quietly admitted. "I don't want to be afraid of you because of what he did to me. It isn't fair."

"But it's all right. You know I understand, don't you?" he asked, looking awkward standing in the middle of her room.

Stella took a deep breath and climbed out of bed, going to stand directly in front of him. Her heart sped up as soon as she was close, though she could not tell if it was from fear, or something better.

"I know you do," she answered. "But that just makes me hate the fact that I'm afraid even more. You've been nothing but wonderful to me."

"Is there anything I could do to prove to you that I'm never going to hurt you?" he asked sincerely, his voice was soft but she could still feel his warm breath tickle her face.

Stella smiled in spite of herself. "You've proved that a thousand times over," she assured him, reaching out and taking his hand lightly in her own. "And somewhere inside, I know that I shouldn't be afraid, but then my memory always puts up a fight – telling me that no man is truly trustworthy."

He tensed ever so slightly, but his hand in hers remained gentle. "Do you think you'll ever overcome that part of you?"

"I don't know," she told him honestly, tracing the faint scars on his hands and wondering where they came from. "But maybe, maybe it doesn't matter."

"What do you mean?" he breathed, his voice so quiet that she could barely hear him.

Wetting her lips, Stella took another small step forward, and was physically able to feel the internal war that her body was raging – her heart aching to be closer to the only man she fully trusted, and her head pulling back with everything it had. "I mean, who cares what my head says? Everything it does and feels is based off fear. It tells me what to do based on what's going to hurt less, or what brings me farther away from those that would wish to harm me. It's the negative, fearful side of me, and no one should listen to that when the other option clearly makes more sense."

"And what's the other option?" Sirius asked, his eyes searching hers, as if wondering if he should back away.

"To listen to my heart," she answered, locking their gazes and keeping him rooted on the spot. She could almost feel his heartbeat as it pounded through the small space between them. "And I know that sounds cliché, but the heart is the positive side of our nature, the side that is always searching for something better and finding the good in what we already have. It's quicker to trust, no matter how many times it's been broken; the only reason that we don't trust people is because our _heads_ tell us not to. But our hearts, they remain pure and loving and willing to believe in the best in others, so I think that, no matter what my head may be telling me, I should listen to my heart in the end."

The distance between their lips was infinitely small as she said the last few words, and electricity seemed to spark and crack in the air as Stella's heartbeat sped up to match his own.

"What is it that your heart is telling you?" prompted Sirius, waiting for her approval before he moved even a hair.

The little warrior in Stella's head was screaming at the top of her lungs, telling her to back away and get out of the situation while there was still time, but the knight in her heart urged her forward gently, rooting her on and swearing to her that she had finally found where she was supposed to be. And in that moment, Stella realized that she was no longer afraid. Sirius' presence did not trigger her reflex to run, he did not cause everything in her that sensed danger to tingle unpleasantly. They just stood together, and for the first time in a long time, she felt completely at peace.

The knight in her heart was for Sirius, and that alone was good enough for Stella.

So instead of answering his question, she stood on her toes, bringing their lips together at last.

Perhaps it was not the most skillful kiss that Stella had ever experienced, since Sirius still seemed to be holding back, but it was by and large the best. It was not the painful crash of flesh on flesh that Greg had passed off as passion, rather, it was gentle and sweet and _loving_ – which was something Stella had never truly felt until that moment.

Sirius softly cupped her face in his large hand, stroking the pad of his thumb across her cheek in slow, rhythmic circles, and Stella placed her hands lightly on his chest, committing this moment to her memory and praying that it never faded away.

"Are you all right?" he asked quietly, pulling back and studying her face.

Stella smiled. "Never better."

"So you're not afraid?"

"I am," she admitted, speaking slowly to form her thoughts into words. "But only in my head, and I guess once I decided to listen to my heart instead, that fear no longer mattered."

Sirius grinned in that wolfish way of his and pulled her into a hug, burying his face in her hair and sighing in contentment. Stella pressed her own face into his shoulder and wrapped her arms around him tightly, feeling genuinely safe for the first time in months.

They stood like that for what felt like hours, though it might have been only moments. Time seemed to have no bearing in their small bubble of trust and happiness, but Stella could not care less. She could stand in his arms for days and never wish to move.

"You know," Sirius began, running a hand through her long blonde hair. "For so long, I've only ever allowed myself to go for shallow girls, the superficial ones that only care about what you look like and what you social status is. But then I met you."

"And what's so different about me?" Stella asked, pulling back to look him in the eye, but keeping her arms around him.

"You scare me shitless," he admitted, his grin back in place, "because you're just as damaged as I am – if not more so. Not many girls that I ever hang around with actually take the time to get to know me, but you did. And you were the only one who wasn't scared away by how screwed up my life's been. Do you have any idea how amazing that is?"

Stella laughed lightly. "What I find amazing is the way people always think they know what they want – you and those other girls, me and Greg – but then they never turn out to be what you expected, they're never good enough. Then you meet someone that's everything you didn't want and you find out that they're exactly what you needed in the first place. It's like life is actually watching out for you rather than trying to beat you down."

"Always the optimist," Sirius chuckled, pulling her back to his chest.

She snuggled into him, silently thanking life for taking care of her after all.

* * *

**This chapter makes me HAPPY! Haha, I don't know about you guys, but I've been waiting for this for forever! So tell me what you think! PEARL: I know you had a wonderful argument for why they shouldn't actually get together, and I've been turning it over in my head for weeks, and I was truly thinking about keeping them just friends. But then Stella just about had a heart attack and I had a dream that Sirius wanted to strangle me, so I decided to let that at it and see where it takes them. XD**

**ALSO I did a drawing of the OCs!**

**Now, I'm not the greatest artist ever, so bear with me, but I just wanted you to see what they look like to me, you know? So it goes Stella, then Vanessa, then Constance. It's not a scene from the story, but the way I see it, it's kind of Constance (who is dead) watching Stella and Vanessa and wishing that she had had that kind of friendship and that she had given them a chance sooner. So here it is, let me know what you think: http://i776.*photobucket.*com/albums/yy41/pottedlilies/OCS2.*png (take out the *s).**

**Oh, and if you've ever seen burdge-bug's Annabeth on DeviantArt, that's where I got the idea for Nessa's look. (:**

**Lily and James, Alice and Frank, and Vanessa and Remus will all be next chapter, I just had to get Sirius and Stella in first because they were driving me mad. XD**

**Sorry, one more thing, I UPDATED _SECONDHAND WINGS_ a few days ago for those of you that read it (if you don't, you totally should!). I know the Alerts have been going wonky so just letting you know. (:**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_Being with all the girls in the world doesn't make you a __man;__ making __one__ girl feel like she's the world well... that does._


	46. The Beginning

**So I started replying to my reviewers, only to realize that you guys would probably appreciate it more if I spent my time writing. XD Sorry if I didn't get to you, because I really and truly loved every single one of them! And I am SO SORRY that I haven't updated for a while. On the upside, I'm finally out of school! Which means more updates! WOO! (:**

**THANK YOU: **_**Queenie's Broken Heart, boston15, twilightaddict323, Sarahrules336, MssrsMWPP, Puzzsta, ivyflightislistening, raneonthewyndoepain, elfling14, Joelle8, Rosewood17, pigckle8, -Scp-, StaceyGibbly, ilydeleo, hpdreamer500, Hannahble, WhiteCamellia, xoxtruegryffindorxox, October Dusk, SecretlyAGryffindor, LilliesAndSunshine, Cloee99, AnonymousMSQ, -the smell of autumn-, missivypotter, RaindropsOnTheRooftop, syd, The Girl Out of the UNDERWORLD, Gaia v, NvrEnoughbooks, pinkpearl89, Zaphiie, littlelf, Kmonae, MyTinyDancer, Matt, Mayzie, LozzT-In-Time, Loona, ChosenPurrfection, Claire Lafleur, **_**and **_**XxJohnnyPacar-fanxX**_** for the reviews! WE HIT OVER ONE THOUSAND! I LOVE YOU ALL TO BITS! (:**

_And the little prince said to the man, "Grownups never understand anything for themselves and it is tiresome for children to be always explaining things to them."_

**Chapter Forty-Six: The Beginning**

Alice anxiously twisted the bottom of her t-shirt as she and Frank landed on the threshold of the Longbottoms' house. It was not big, but seeing as it was only Frank and his parents, Henry and Augusta, Alice thought it was perfect. She was sick and tired of oversized manors filled with nothing but empty people. It would be nice to stay somewhere like this – more like Lily's house – where the rooms were too small to hold the amount of love and personality that the family contained. At least, that was best-case-scenario for the little blonde witch, as she was still terrified that Frank's mother – who had left the high society that the Hintons were still a part of – would consider her stuck up and slutty, since that was the stereotype for people of her status.

"Relax, Al," Frank told her with a smile, shifting their luggage so that he could take her hand in his own. "They're going to love you, all right?"

"But what if they don't?" Alice asked in a small voice. She swallowed hard as Frank pushed the front door open and they entered a small foyer.

Frank smiled down at her and kissed her forehead. "Then we go out and get a place of our own. Hell, if you can leave your mum for me, then I can leave for you, too."

"It's not the same," Alice said, rolling her eyes. She was about to explain that she and her mother had never gotten along, while Frank loved his parents, but she was cut off as a large Muggle lawn gnome flew out of a room on her left and landed right in front of her. "Um…?"

"Mum?" Frank asked, looking amused as he set their trunks down and led Alice into the room, which contained no furniture, only various knickknacks and things her own mother would not have allowed into the house. "Mum, what are you doing?"

Augusta Longbottom was in the middle of it all, holding another lawn gnome and looking at it in a scrutinizing way. She was a tall women dressed all in green. Her face was quite pretty, with high cheekbones and full lips, and there were laugh lines around her mouth and eyes, which were a light hazel.

"Frank!" Augusta exclaimed rather louder than was necessary in the small room and pushed aside various clutter so that she could pull her son into a hug. She backed away a little and wiped her forehead. "All this was in the attic, can you believe it? I promised your father that I would go through it and find anything that I wanted to keep, but I had no idea that there would be so much of it!"

"Alice and I can help," Frank offered, and Alice found herself nodding vigorously, hoping for anything that might endear her to the older woman.

Augusta looked Alice up and down, an unreadable expression on her face. "So this is the Alice that I've heard so much about," she stated, and Alice tried not to shift uncomfortably.

"Yes she is," Frank answered proudly, placing an arm around her shoulders. Alice inwardly sighed with relief. It was amazing what it could do to her to know that someone she loved was on her side. It felt as though her fears weren't as important anymore.

After staring at her for another moment, Augusta met Alice's eyes. "Now, understand this, Alice. I want to like you, I really do. However, you have the potential to take my son away from me, so I don't think that it's too much to ask that you give me some time to let you prove your worth to me."

"Mum –" Frank began, but Alice, empowered by his strong arm around her, cut him off.

"Of course, Mrs. Longbottom. I'd be honored to have to opportunity."

Augusta smiled, her straight white teeth sparking in the light coming through the windows on the far end of the room. "That's what I like to hear. Now tell me, Alice, how do you feel about lawn gnomes?"

* * *

"So, a play, huh?" James began as he and Lily sat on the front porch steps watching the fireflies twinkle in the trees were Constance's rosebush bloomed. "Of all the things you could do with your summer, you want to be in a play?"

Lily smiled and nodded, feeling adrenaline course through her veins at the thought of being alone with James Potter. "Why not? Don't you think it would be fantastic to step out of your own life for a while and become someone completely different?"

"What's wrong with who you are?"

"Stop, James," Lily laughed. "I'm not fishing for compliments or anything. I just think it would be nice to try being someone different for a change, even if you're completely happy with exactly who you are. I mean, you'll never even know that who you are is who you want to be until you've been something different."

"Well said," James told her with a grin. "There's a summer theater Godric's Hollow, we should go down and look for audition dates in the morning."

Lily smiled. She had always dreamed of performing on that stage. When she was younger, her parents would keep a change jar on the kitchen table and save all summer to take Lily and Petunia to the show the weekend before school would start. She had always wanted to act in one of their plays and get her family in for free.

"That sounds perfect," she said, smiling up at him. "Maybe Sirius and Stella would like to come too. It would be good for them to get out and do something."

James gave her a funny look, but even that caused Lily's heart to skip a beat. "Have you ever seen Sirius act? It hurts to watch, love."

"No pet names," Lily told him half-heartedly, secretly enjoying it more that she would ever admit. "He could always do set work. I bet he'd enjoy showing off those muscles."

James chuckled. "Especially if Stella's there to watch," he said with a wink that released the butterflies that Lily had been trying hard to keep at bay in her stomach.

"You know," Lily began, swallowing her fear and inching closer to James so that their knees were touching. "This is really nice, the whole being-friends-instead-of-fighting thing, I mean."

James grinned and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his side in what he surely thought was a simple gesture, but to Lily, it was as though he were giving her a little piece of the Heaven that she should have accepted a long time before. "Oh, Lily, I'll _always_ be fighting. It'll just be _for_ you rather than _against_ you."

"Where do you come up with this stuff?" Lily asked with a smile, laying her head against his shoulder and inhaling his familiar scent.

She felt him shrug. "I guess you just inspire me."

"I wish I was that clever."

"Are you kidding me?" James chuckled. "Who else could come up with 'arrogant, bullying toe rag' on the spot, while fuming with anger?"

Lily felt herself blush, but she had to laugh a little at the memory. Perhaps fighting with James was not always such a bad thing after all. "You still remember that?" she asked. "I think I was sort of hoping you'd forget."

Goosebumps erupted on her skin as James absentmindedly ran a hand up and down her arm. "Believe me, love, I remember all of it. What if the guy of _your_ dreams were to say something like that to you, do you think you'd forget it?"

"I don't know," Lily said, feeling brave. "Why don't you try calling me something awful and we'll see."

"What?" James asked, pulling away immediately and searching her eyes.

"What?" Lily repeated with a grin. She winked at him and rumpled his hair. "I think I'll go to bed. Goodnight, James."

"Goodnight," James told her, still looking rather baffled, but happy, too.

* * *

"'Magic is blind to status and transcends blood and birth,'" Vanessa began, standing, at last, before the entire Wizengamot. She had been trying to schedule a hearing with the high court of Wizarding law ever since Remus' seventeenth birthday in March. "These words were written by Myrddin Emrys, more commonly known as Merlin, in the Charter of the New World of Magic, laid down in 3,000 B.C. It is that last official Charter written for our world, and therefore, I believe that it should still be followed."

The brunette looked directly into the eyes of the Chief Warlock as she spoke. He was a short, squat little man that looked remarkably like the witch from her hearing with the Committee for Werewolf Restriction and Control. If she put a pink bow in his hair and shaved the ridiculous mustache, she would not have been able to tell the different between them save for the fact that the Chief Warlock was older. None of this gave the young witch any consolation, but she continued nonetheless.

"Some of you know my story," Vanessa went on, looking to the group of witches and wizards that sat to the side of the room. They were ordinary people who had been following her case and believed in it so much they had chosen to attend this hearing. Damocles Belby gave her a thumbs up from the front row, and she could not help but feel heartened. "I'm a girl who fell in love with a boy, and this boy just so happened to be a werewolf. But you know what? That fact didn't make me love him any less. If anything, I loved him _more_ because of it. He's really been through something, you know? I mean, such a bad thing happened to him and yet he is still one of the best people I know. But none of you would ever realize that because you don't give werewolves a chance."

"So is that what you're asking for?" demanded the Chief Warlock, his voice higher than Vanessa would have expected. "You want us to give them a chance and watch them massacre hundreds, if not thousands, of witches and wizards?"

"I'm not asking that you give them free-reign," Vanessa told them, though it was her secret wish that they did. "All I'm asking for now is that you give them the freedom to love."

"Preposterous!" he exclaimed, straightening out his plum-colored robes. "If they love, which they are surely incapable of doing anyway, then they will want children, and who knows what will happen then? No one has ever studied such a thing."

"But telling werewolves not to procreate is a more reasonable law than to tell them not to love," Vanessa insisted, wishing that Lily, Alice, and Stella were with her this time to take a stand as well. "And believe me, anyone is capable of love if given the opportunity. Wouldn't you rather they love someone then hate everyone for the situation they have been put in?"

"She makes a good point," stated a young witch with a wide, square jaw. She sat to the left of the Chief Warlock and had been listening to the entire debate intently. "Perhaps we have been too strict with the werewolves. I have read the entire Charter, and it clearly states that we are all to be equal, no matter what our birth or blood or even our species.

"Thank you, Amelia," the squat little man said stiffly. "But the last I checked, the Court Scribe is here to take notes on proceedings, not offer personal opinions."

The witch glared at him, but did not argue, so Vanessa was once more on her own.

"Please, sir," she began. "All I'm asking for is a chance. The only person that could get hurt in this situation is me, so what have you got to lose?"

"My position," the Chief Warlock told her coldly. "If I were to allow this and something were to happen to you, I could very likely lose my job."

Vanessa threw her arms in the air in frustration. "That's the problem with you people! Look, I respect that you need to work and everything, but what's the point if you're not doing any good? Wouldn't you rather lose your job and change the world than keep it and do nothing of value?"

"You are naïve, little girl," he said, looking as though he were done arguing.

"No," Vanessa insisted, her brown eyes narrowing in defiance. "I am just not willing to play the game. And anyone in this room who does play it isn't worth my time."

"And what game do you speak of?"

"This! Where everyone believes that they have a certain place in society and that they have to stick to it or the world will end. The game whose rules state that difference is wrong, controversy is unacceptable, and to do anything that would break our fragile peace is worthy of the grimmest punishment. The game that believes the world is fine the way it is, because the major players are those highest in society. But what they fail to realize is that the only way we've gotten to where we are is through change, and change could bring us to an even better place if people would just be willing to accept it and advocate it."

Some of the younger members of the Wizengamot were smiling faintly at this, but the older members, especially the Chief Warlock himself, did not look amused.

"I stand by what I said," he told her. "You are naïve. When you grow older you shall realize that this game you speak of is the only way to keep order, and that is when you will understand my decision to change nothing in the werewolf laws."

Vanessa felt an icy hand grip her heart as she said this, but she kept a brave face. "And I stand by what I said. I am not going to play the game. Not now, and not in the future. You can't keep me from loving Remus, because that feeling is stronger than any laws you put into place and any rules the game may have. Maybe if you were younger, you'd understand."

And with that, she turned her back on the Wizengamot and walked out of the courtroom, not knowing what would happen next, but believing firmly in everything she was fighting for.

* * *

The next morning, Stella woke to bright sunlight streaming through her open windows.

-FLASH-

"Oi!" she yelped, jumping so high she fell out of the bed. Looking up, Stella saw Sirius standing above her, laughing in that bark-like way of his with his trusty camera hanging around his neck. "What are you doing?"

Sirius grinned and scooped her up into his arms, depositing her gently on the bed, where a tray of breakfast sat waiting for her.

"I figured," he began, pouring her a glass of orange juice. "That if I was going to kiss you, I should probably go ahead and ask you out. And if I'm going to ask you out, I thought I'd do it properly."

Stella grinned in a mocking way. "So all of this," she gestured to the tray in front of her, "is just so that you can kiss me again?"

"Well," Sirius said, feigning a nonchalant shrug. "You were a damn good snog."

Stella sighed as she fought to contain laughter. "I sure have a type, don't I? Guys who come off as so sweet until you learn their real motives."

"Ouch."

"Sorry," Stella snorted, taking a bite out of the toast. "This is really good."

"Thank the house elves," Sirius told her, shaking his head in amusement. "I honestly tried to make it, but let's just say I'm not very handy with cooking spells. I would've blown up the house if Tink-Tink hadn't stopped me."

The blonde burst out laughing. "No wonder you like Muggle Studies so much! I actually believed you when you said it was only for the motorcycles, but now I'm not so sure."

-FLASH-

"Okay," Stella said, seeing spots. "Is that necessary?"

"Well sure," he answered with a smile. "I love to see you laugh, even if you do have bed-head when you do it."

Stella scowled playfully and reached up to feel her hair, which was indeed in knots, but her snappy retort was cut off as Lily burst into the room.

"Hey Stella, do you want to go – " the redhead stopped, her mouth hanging open, and stared at Sirius and Stella sitting on the bed. "What…?"

Stella blushed slightly, and Sirius grinned. "Stella just couldn't resist me, Lily-flower. I tried to tell her that she needed some time to get over everything, but she just wouldn't listen and – _Ow_!"

"Hmm," Stella said, looking at her still-closed fist. "Maybe there's a career for me in boxing after all."

"So you two are-"

"Dating," Sirius finished for her, Stella nodding behind his shoulder. "Yes."

Lily stared at them a moment more before a huge grin spread across her face and she ran across the room and jumped on them, pulling them into a hug.

"Hey, hey, hey," Sirius laughed. "I know I'm irresistible, but _really_ Lily-flower? Right after I tell you I have a girlfriend?"

It was Lily's turn to punch him playfully before turning to the door and yelling, "JAMES! Get in here right now! You'll never guess what's happened!"

"What?" James said jokingly, coming around the corner. "Sirius got a girl – _what_?"

He froze in the same spot Lily had been glued to moments before, staring at his three friends. "What the hell is going on?"

Lily climbed off the bed and all but skipped over to him. "I came in this morning to see if Stella wanted to go down to Godric's Hollow and when I got in here, I found the two of them having breakfast together!"

"Like… Like a_ friendly_ breakfast?" James asked in disbelief. "Or…?"

"Or," Sirius and Stella confirmed together.

James looked slightly shocked before he tackled Sirius off the bed. "Padfoot!" he exclaimed in delight. "With a girlfriend I actually approve of! Who'd have thunk?"

"Miracle, huh?" Sirius grinned, pushing James off of him and climbing to his feet. "So what's this about Godric's Hollow?"

Lily smiled widely. "Well, there's a summer theater down there and James and I were thinking of going and checking out the audition dates. We thought you two might like to try it out as well."

"Lily-flower, have you _seen_ me act?" Sirius asked her, looking at her as though she was insane.

"No, but I've heard you're quite awful," Lily teased. "So we thought you might be interested in set work."

"Well," Sirius reasoned, flexing an arm casually. "I _am_ pretty good at heavy lifting."

"Told you," James said, winking at Lily and nodding to Stella, who rolled her eyes at her new boyfriend.

"Told her what?" the blonde asked, raising an eyebrow.

James grinned. "That Sirius would go for it as long as he got to show off for you."

Stella's cheeks reddened, but she could not contain a smile as Sirius flashed a grin in her direction.

* * *

"_Story Time_," Lily read aloud to the others, who were gathered behind her at the theater door. "A montage of fables and fairytales compiled by Neil Harris."

"I've never heard of it," Stella remarked. "And I've never heard of anyone named Neil Harris either."

"Well, now you have," a voice behind them announced.

The four friends turned to find a man of about thirty dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt, carrying a stack of flyers.

"And you are…?" Sirius asked.

"Neil Harris," he told them, blowing his messy red-blonde hair from his eyes and grinning widely. "The compiler and director of this show. Who might you be?"

"I'm Lily," she said. "And this is James, Sirius, and Stella. We came to find out when the auditions are for your show."

"Well you're in luck little lady," Neil grinned, dumping the rest of his flyers into an old waste bin. "They start this afternoon. Be here at one o'clock."

"Thank you," the four of them said together, but Neil Harris had already disappeared inside the theater.

* * *

Peter sat alone at the small wooden table in his empty house. His parents were away on business, so he would have the place to himself for a few days, but that only made him lonely.

In his hand, there was a wrinkled piece of parchment, on which, Bellatrix Black had written in her quick, jerky script, _Your friends won't be around to protect you this summer. Join or die. Think about it._

She was right in that James, Remus, and Sirius had plans for the summer, not to mention they all had girls to spend the holiday with, but Peter knew that they would never forget him. Would they?

* * *

"Vanessa?" Remus asked when she knocked on his front door. "What are you doing here? If anyone sees you –"

"I went back to the Ministry today," she told him miserably. "I had a chance to speak in front of the whole Wizengamot, but the Chief Warlock was just as bad as the Dolores women from my other hearing. They just refuse to listen. But the worst part is that I think I almost got through to some of them before he cut me off."

Remus made as if to pull her into a hug, but stopped himself with a pained expression on his face. "Look, Nessa, maybe we should just end this before you end up destroying yourself. It isn't worth it."

She glared at him. "Don't you ever say that," she snapped. "You know as well as I do that I'm not giving up on this. You can say whatever you want, but I know you still love me, and I still love you so stop acting otherwise. We're going to beat this. I just don't know how yet."

"Things have been the same for ages, and you heard what they said the last time – they hate for anything to change."

"Whose side are you on?" Vanessa asked him harshly, angry tears welling up in her eyes. "This would be a hell of a lot easier if you were backing me up through all of this, you know. It's not like I'm only fighting for me here. This is all for you."

Remus' expression softened immediately. "I know, Ness, and I love you for it, I really do. But I'm just scared that if I get involved, they'll find a way to rip us apart."

"Don't you think they've already done that enough? Everything they do is against us. The least we can do is stand on this side of things together."

"But what if –"

"No," Vanessa insisted, crossing her arms to keep from running into his. "No 'what if's. Whatever happens, happens. At least we're fighting for something we believe in. _Please_ say you're with me, Rem. I don't know how much more of this I can take alone."

A million emotions filled Remus' grey eyes, but love stood out more than anything else. "I'm with you, Nessa. Whatever happens."

* * *

**PLEASE READ: ****So for the play, I'm open for ideas. Any fairytale or fable that you want to see them act out, just give me the name and I'll see what I can do.**** (:**

**Also, I thought you might like to know that I am going to participate in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) in November. Basically, you write a fifty thousand (or more) word novel during November. It's going to be tons of fun and I am highly encouraging all of you to do it as well! If you're afraid or stuck or anything, PLEASE COME TO ME. I am more than happy to help you guys out with anything. (:**

**Oh, and the Chief Warlock was Umbridge's father, by the way. I think he's the one that Dumbledore replaced. I might have that in the story, I might not.**

**And finally, I have finally figured out the ending for Sirius and Stella. It's been the hardest thing for me to decide on throughout this whole story, but I think I've finally got what I want, and I hope that you guys like it as well. But don't worry! It's not coming until at least the end of seventh year.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Love Always,  
****Kayla **

_Haley: What's the first thing I taught you about writing?  
Sam: Tell the truth._

_- One Tree Hill_


	47. Corruption Always Sparks Rebellion

**THANK YOU: **_**xoxtruegryffindorxox, Sarahrules336, meggx, twilightaddict323, SecretlyAGryffindor, LilliesAndSunshine, AnonymousMSQ, Claire Lafleur, MssrsMWPP, Joelle8, -Scp-, Hannahble, raneonthewyndoepain, Khushbu Salazar, Alysa4eva, elfling14, ilydeleo, bluesmidge101, UndercoverHufflepuff, Zaphiie, Loona22, kpassa3, October Dusk, WhiteCamellia, Elphabean, Cloee99, BlackCat718, ksteele4978, Queenie's Broken Heart, LozzT-In-Time, StaceyGibbly, B, adrian's little dhampire, blueberrymuffin94, pinkpearl89, **_**and**_** LilyandAlice**_** for all of the reviews! I was really happy to have a lot of new reviewers this time! (:**

**Extra thanks to Stacey for being wonderful. Talking to you really got me writing again! This chapter is dedicated to you!**

**Disclaimer: I haven't done one of these in a while, but that doesn't change the fact that I don't own Harry Potter.**

_You want to know what makes me love you more than I loved him? It's because when he got me, I was perfectly unused. I was fearless, and a hopeless romantic. When you got me I was bruised and battered. I was afraid of the world and cynical about love. And yet, __**you**__ didn't leave._

**Chapter Forty-Seven: Corruption Always Sparks Rebellion**

_Cast List (All Will Play Various Characters)_

_Lily Evans  
__Clara Dove  
__Stella Redwood  
__Daphne Prestwick  
__Annabelle Stewart_

_Dylan Knight  
__James Potter  
__Ian Prestwick  
__Gregory Pearson_

Lily's jaw dropped as she read the final name, and horrible memories swirled in her mind. It was simply not possible that such a vile, deceitful, _evil_ person could ever participate in something as normal as a play. Surely he should be hiding away at Malfoy Manor plotting the murder of innocents or something of that nature, not acting at the summer playhouse and in doing so, destroying any hope she had of forgetting her troubles for the time being.

"I've never seen anyone so shocked to have made the cast," Neil Harris said merrily, appearing beside her. "All of you look like you've seen a ghost, actually."

Lily turned around to see Sirius silently fuming with anger, clenching in unclenching his fists. James looked torn between horror and rage, and Stella was turning a pale shade of green.

"Well, what's the matter with you lot?" the director demanded, crossing his arms and studying each of their faces.

"Gr- Gr- Greg," Lily sputtered, so shocked she could not form a coherent sentence.

"Pearson?" Neil confirmed. "He did bloody well in his auditions yesterday. One of the best we saw, aside from James, here, actually. What about him?"

Lily simply pointed from herself to Stella and shook her head, unable to express what he had done to the two of them. However, she was saved from having to explain anything by Stella, who, at that moment, threw up all over Neil Harris' shoes.

* * *

"Let me get this straight," Neil said softly, standing in his socks in a corner of the theater with James and Sirius while Lily and Stella sat together in the auditorium, trying to make sense of the fact that Gregory Pearson was about to re-enter their lives. "He _raped _Stella –"

"More than once," Sirius growled, looking as though he could strangle someone.

"And he tried to do the same to Lily?"

James, who could not even think about the day he and Lily had fought via two-way mirror after Pearson had broken her heart without wanting to slam the bastard into the wall and duel him Muggle style, nodded curtly, barely trusting his mouth to refrain from spouting out the harsh profanity that was coursing through his mind.

"Don't get me wrong, now," Neil went on, looking between the two boys as though hoping they did not sucker punch him for what he was about to say. "I think that's probably one of the worst things I've ever heard, but his parents are very wealthy, and they sponsor the show every year, so they always have input on the cast and characters. If they decide to match him with one of the girls, there isn't much that I could do."

"We could all quit the show," James suggested, though he knew that Lily would never go for it. She would want to prove that she was better than that.

Sirius shook his head, voicing James' thoughts. "You know Lily and Stella will want to show us that they're over everything and that they aren't afraid. If anything, it's just all the more reason for them to give this everything they've got. However," he went on, turning to the director, who shrunk back slightly at the taller man's threatening demeanor. "Should Pearson do anything to hurt either of them, I can't guarantee that you'll have an actor anymore."

Neil nodded. "Fair enough," he agreed. "I'll have a talk with him. And who knows? From what you said, that happened quite a few months ago, maybe the bloke's changed since then."

* * *

"Your mum," Vanessa told Remus, sitting in an armchair in Remus' living room while he sat in another. "Makes the best hot chocolate I've ever had."

It was a cool summer night, and all of the windows in the Lupins' little house were thrown wide open, allowing the gentle breeze to flow in and out. Remus and Vanessa sat together, though apart, even though it hurt them both to be so close but so far away.

Remus chuckled softly. "You know, that was the first thing my dad fell in love with about her. She used to work at this old café, and he would come back every night just to have her hot chocolate."

"Where is he now?" she asked softly, smiling at the far-off look in his eyes.

That look, however, turned cold at her question. "He left a while back. He told us that he was going to travel, see if any other countries were further advanced in the treatment of werewolves. That was almost six years ago and we haven't heard a word from him."

"Oh, Rem," Vanessa said, shaking her head in sympathy and wishing that she could hold him. "Don't give up hope on him, okay?"

"How can you say that?" he asked, looking at her sadly. "After everything you've faced because of my condition, how can you possibly have any hope at all? Much less any to give away?"

Vanessa shrugged and tucked her legs beneath her, leaning over the arm of her chair to feel closer to him in some small way. "I guess because, in a way, love can't survive without hope. I have to keep hoping for the both of us if we want this to work."

* * *

"I'll kill Pearson," Sirius growled, low enough so that only James could hear as the two boys made their way across the room to where the girls were sitting. "He could get attacked by a wild dog, and none of the Muggles around here would think anything of it."

James winced, remembering that he still had to tell Lily about his own Animagus form after the episode in the hospital wing with Lily's Patronus. "Stella would know though, Pads. I know what he did to her, and she has to hate him for it, but I still think she's better than that. She wouldn't want you to sink to his level. By hurting him, you'd be acting just like the Death Eaters.

Sirius' eyes narrowed, but he sighed in defeat. "If he so much as looks at her like –"

"We'll take him together," James assured his best friend, clapping him on the back. "As men, not dogs, all right? Our girls deserve that much."

"'Our girls,' huh?" Sirius repeated, grinning slyly. "So Lily-flower finally said yes and you didn't tell me?"

James rolled his eyes. "No, you bloody idiot," he said quietly checking to make sure Lily and Stella could not hear them before he lightly smacked Sirius on the back of the head. "But you know she's my girl. She always has been, if _she_ doesn't know it."

"She'll come around eventually, Prongs," Sirius said with a wink. "Now let's go make sure those girls of ours are doing all right, shall we?"

When they reached them, Sirius pulled Stella off to the side and James slid into her vacated seat. "How are you doing, love?" he asked Lily gently, taking her slender, delicate hand and searching her eyes to ensure that Pearson had not managed to extinguish the fire there that he had so nearly put out the summer before.

"Honestly?" Lily said, her tone unreadable. "For me, I don't really care. I mean, all he really was to me was a bad decision that I learned from and won't repeat the next time I get angry with you, or Severus, or anyone else," she explained, giving him a wry smile, and James felt relief wash through him knowing that she was not going to turn back into stone. "And now that we're all of age, that makes it three to one should a fight break out, though I doubt he would start anything with all of these Muggles around. The Ministry still has no concrete proof that he is a Death Eater, so why would he mess that up now? But in spite of all of that, I'm worried and angry for Stella, I mean, how could this horrible, rotten, _evil_ piece of _filth_ just waltz back into her life after everything he's done to her? I almost want Sirius to hit him so hard he can't see straight."

James chuckled softly and squeezed her fingers. "Who knows? That might just happen. But all of this doesn't make you want to quit the play then?"

Lily, who had gotten slightly worked up during her rant, gave him a surprised look. "No chance in hell," she said simply, crossing her arms as if that made it final. "Why?" she went on, eyebrow arched above a sparkling emerald eye. "Do you want to?"

A grin crossed James' face as some of the old Lily broke through, mixing perfectly with the new, more accepting one. He pulled her into a hug before repeating her words. "No chance in hell."

* * *

_Maybe I should get worked up like that more often_, Lily thought briefly, before mentally shaking herself. There was no way she was going to take advantage of James' comforting nature like that, but that hug was reason enough to make her want to. It was funny, growing up, Lily had always felt safest cuddled up with her parents. Then, as she got a little older, Hogwarts had become that haven, and she assumed it always would be. But sitting there, with James' strong arms wrapped protectively around her, nothing else could compare.

Despite her better judgment, Lily leaned against his chest, savoring the moment as the steady pounding of his heart beat its rhythm into her mind. She found that all she wanted was him – that heart, as well as the mind and body it kept alive – and that absolutely terrified her. Never, in all her life, had she wanted James Potter more than anything else, and yet, there she was, in his arms, craving him so strongly she was torn between yanking herself away and staying put in his embrace. It was as if her heart was aching to jump out of her own chest and settle inside his instead. It started pounding rapidly, and Lily, albeit unwillingly, pulled herself away, fearing so deep an attraction, because even though she had told James that Greg had just been another mistake, he had still hurt her in a way that few had the power to, and something inside of her was not yet ready to trust another so easily, no matter how he made her feel.

For so long, she had been trying to convince herself – and James, for the matter – that James' past was the reason she could not love him. She'd been telling herself over and over that he would hurt her, that he was still that bullying toe rag he had always been, and that all of the sweet things he told her were lies. But the truth was, James was not at fault. She could see the sincerity in his eyes every time he complimented her, or called her love, or did any of the things he did. He was completely open and honest with her, and that was more than any boy had ever given her. However, even though he was all of those things, Greg had still managed to sew a seed of doubt in her heart – doubt of men in general – and try as she might to overcome it, something still stood in her way.

Perhaps, Lily mused, Greg's presence in the play was some sort of backhanded gift from fate. Maybe if she saw him one last time, if she talked to him – or yelled at him, or whatever it took – and told him how she felt, if she could somehow explain to him just how badly he had hurt her, then she would finally be free of fear. And once the fear was gone, she could give her heart to James, who deserved every piece of it and more, and she could love him with reckless abandon and no regrets. And even though the thought terrified her, it also seemed beautiful and wonderful and more magical than anything Lily had ever experienced.

She had never wanted to see Gregory Pearson so badly in all her life.

* * *

"How badly do you want me to hurt him?" Sirius asked, watching Stella pace back in forth in front of him.

She gave a derisive laugh, but there was no humor in her eyes. "I can't believe this. I honestly _cannot believe this_," she said, though Sirius could not tell whether she was speaking to him or to herself. "After _everything_ he did to me he has the guts to come back here and face me? Who does he think he is? We beat him, it's over, and I know there's still a war going on, but the fight isn't here. So why the bloody hell can't he leave us alone?"

Sirius sighed, watching her practically wear a groove in the floor from the speed of her pacing. "What do you want me to say? That he's an asshole? Because, personally, I don't think that's a strong enough word. Hell, I don't think there_ is_ a strong enough word. But for whatever reason, he's about to come back into your life. What are we going to do about it?"

"I suppose you want me to quit the play," she reasoned, turning to face him with her hands on her hips.

"Are you kidding me?" Sirius asked, taking an equally defensive stance and staring her down. "I want you fight this, and I want you to win. And I want to be there every step of the way."

Her arms relaxed slightly, and some of the lines disappeared from her forehead. "Oh," she said simply.

"Look," Sirius went on, walking closer and placing his hands on her shoulders. "I know what it's like to have people in your life that look down on you, and try to make you think and do what they want, all right? I get it. I lived with it for years. And I learned that the only way you're going to make it through is to fight it, because the second you stop, they start to get to you, and as soon as that happens, they win. You have to look those people in the eye and tell them that there is nothing they can do to make you surrender to them, and then you have to prove it again and again. But in the end, I swear to you it's worth it. All of it."

The corner of Stella's mouth twitched into a small smile. "You know, if it had been anyone else standing there saying those same words, I don't know that I would have believed them."

Sirius felt his own grin spread its way across his face. "Then, I'll repeat: What are we going to do about it?"

"I, for one, am going to look for a decent kickboxing instructor," Stella informed him with a wink.

Sirius laughed wholeheartedly. "And what would you like me to do?"

"Leave him be for now," she told him seriously. "Perhaps the Death Eaters are planning something, and we'll need him alive if we're going to find out what it is."

* * *

"I need to speak to the Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot," Remus told the receptionist in the atrium of the Ministry of Magic.

The witch, who could not have been much older than Remus himself, gave him a skeptical look. "Do you have an appointment?"

"No, but –"

"Look, if you don't have an appointment, there's no way you can talk to him," she insisted, straightening the countless memos that littered her desk.

"It's important," Remus assured her, not yet ready to give up. "It's about a Hearing he conducted the other day. I need to do a little… follow up."

"Unhappy with what he decided?" the witch concluded. "People usually are. But I can't help you. I'm sorry, but there just isn't anything that I can do."

"You could tell me where he eats lunch," Remus suggested, looking at the clock above her, which showed noon.

She shook her head. "Oh no. Oh no, no, no. I could lose my job for that."

"Funny," Remus said, taking a final last-ditch-effort-shot-in-the-dark. "That's exactly what the Chief Warlock said about our case. He said he could lose his job for giving werewolves the right to love."

The girl's thin eyebrows shot up. "You're Vanessa Reese's boyfriend?" she whispered, glancing around at the overcrowded room to check for eavesdroppers. "_That's_ the hearing you're talking about? I've been there both times she's spoken to the Ministry," her face was lit up now, and Remus knew he had won. "She's wonderful! And your story, it's so tragic and beautiful. I've been rooting for you. I always said if there was anything I could do to change things, well, listen," she went on, her voice dropping so low Remus had to lean forward to hear. "Chief Warlock Umbridge eats lunch with his daughter everyday at a café on the corner." She wrote down the address. "But please don't tell him you heard it from me."

Remus smiled. "I won't. Thank you. You don't know how much this means to me."

She winked at him. "Just win this, okay? The world could use a little more love."

* * *

Remus arrived at the café to see the Chief Warlock, still in his plum-colored Wizengamot robes, sitting outside with a female version of himself. Remus had seen the witch once before, when Vanessa had spoken to the Committee for Werewolf Registration and Control, and he had heard many things about her – many horrible things that she had done to werewolves, laws that she had pushed through and regulations that she had put into place to ensure the complete isolation of half-bloods of all sorts. As she had at the hearing, she wore a large pink bow on top of her mousy brown hair, giving her the appearance of false innocence.

He was about to approach the witch and her father when another woman, probably in her early twenties, with a wide, square jaw and a stack of parchment hurried to the Chief Warlock's side.

"What is it _now_, Amelia?" the Chief Warlock asked irritably, squinting up at his court scribe. "How many times do I have to tell you not to bother me while I'm eating?"

"I know, sir," Amelia answered, bowing her head slightly and shuffling her papers. Remus waved away the café hostess and moved closer to the trio to better hear the encounter. "But the Minister insists that you put Trisha Malfoy on trial for being involved in the Dark Arts, and there still has been no investigation into what happened to her daughter, Constance, last winter."

The Chief Warlock sighed and motioned for her to move closer, and Remus, who had sat down at the next table over, had to cast a _Muffliato_ spell over the surrounding diners in order to hear their conversation.

"Amelia," he said. "The Malfoy Family makes very generous donations to the Ministry. How do you think it would fair if we were to put one of them on trial?"

"But, sir," Amelia argued, looking disgusted. "That's bribery. If she really is involved in the Dark Arts it shouldn't matter if she gave us her whole Gringotts vault. It's our job to uphold the law."

"_My_ job, you mean," the Chief Warlock corrected. "You're nothing more than a court scribe, which are easily replaced, I might add, so I would watch your tongue, if I were you."

Amelia gave him what was obviously a very forced smile and turned away. "I would say you're right, about Ms. Malfoy, I mean, but Shakespeare once wrote, 'The jury, passing on the prisoner's life, may in the sworn twelve have a thief or two guiltier than him they try.' And I would rather not be one of them."

"Don't bother coming in to work tomorrow," Dolores told Amelia, her voice dripping with false sweetness. "And I suggest you look for a job outside the Ministry, I don't expect there will be a department willing to hire you after today."

"Surprisingly, you might be doing me a favor, Dolores," Amelia retorted, no longer having to fake her smile. "The Ministry is dying, and with the rise of Voldemort, I expect that people are going to start opening their eyes to the blatant corruption they've been trying to ignore for so long."

"Please," the Chief Warlock scoffed. "People need government. They won't turn their backs on us."

Amelia shrugged. "Perhaps not, but it might be wise to change to ensure their loyalty. Take the werewolves for instance. We had that case a few days ago with Vanessa Reese, do you remember it? If we gave them more rights they may take our side should Voldemort try to recruit them."

"They have stayed loyal to the Ministry as it is," Dolores told her, an edge in her voice. "Tradition is the only way. There will not be an uprising as long as there is something stable for the people to look to."

Something hardened in Amelia's eyes and she slammed her stack of parchment onto the little table. "Consider me the first of the rebellion," she spat. "I'll leave my resignation on your desk."

And before either of the Umbridges could say a word, she had turned on the spot and vanished.

At this point, Remus was not sure if it would be wise to approach the Chief Warlock and his daughter, but if nothing else, Vanessa had taught him that you had to fight for what you believed in and for what you loved. Sitting passively was as good as fighting against yourself. He stood and made his way over to their table.

"_What_ now?"

"I need to speak with you, sir," Remus said, willing his voice to sound confident. "Both of you, actually."

"Me?" Dolores asked, her false sweetness utterly repulsive. "What could you want with me?"

"You're a part of the Committee for Werewolf Registration and Control, right?"

"Again with the werewolves!" the Chief Warlock spat. "We should just annihilate the lot of them and be done with them!"

"You see, Father, that's what I've been saying all along –"

"Excuse me," Remus interrupted, horrified that they could be having such a conversation so casually. He placed his hands on the edge of their table and leaned forward slightly so no one around them would overhear. "I _am_ a werewolf. I'm the one Vanessa Reese has been fighting for all this time."

Dolores immediately moved her chair around the table so that she was as far away from him as possible. "I knew it right away, of course, it's quite obvious."

Remus rolled his eyes, feeling his anger boil. "Don't give me that. You had no idea. It took my own best friends two years to figure it out. But, look, I'm not here to argue about that."

"Then I suppose you're here because you didn't like my judgment at Miss Reese's hearing?" the Chief Warlock assumed.

"Yes," Remus nodded. "I admit, I _do_ turn into a monster once a month, but most of the time, I swear I'm not one. And I am in love with her. She's what got me here. I mean, how many werewolves still have enough hope in them to fight for their rights? _None_. And I didn't either until I met her. I don't know how she did it, but she made me believe that there was still a chance for me, even though everything I've ever been taught told me that there wasn't. Maybe that's what love does to a person. I don't really know, I'm no expert. But I do know that she hasn't given up on me, so I'm not giving up on this, and if you give me a chance I'll prove to you that we're worth the risk."

The two Ministry officials stared up at him for a moment, each looking like a toad watching a fly, before the simultaneously burst into laughter.

"Do you honestly think, half-blood," Dolores hissed the word as though it were a horrible insult. "That you deserve a chance? Your kind have done nothing in the past to show us that they can handle freedom –"

"Because they've never had any freedom at all," Remus insisted, but she was not listening.

"– And quite frankly, you are fortunate to have the rights that you do. You're getting to go to school, isn't that enough?"

Remus was fuming, but he took a deep breath and tried to keep his voice calm. "The Ministry had nothing to do with the fact that I'm at Hogwarts. They did everything they could to make sure that I didn't get to go. The only reason I'm there is because Dumbledore is a good man, and he is willing to give people the benefit of the doubt."

"_That_ is precisely why Dumbledore will never be Minister of Magic."

"You don't have to hold a title to have power over people," Remus told them. "Most of the time, the public is more willing to listen to someone they respect than someone the government says they must obey." He paused for a moment. "And you asked me 'isn't getting to go to school enough?' It's not. I'm sorry. I wish I could say that it was, but it's just not. What's the point of anything if you're not allowed to be with the people you love?"

"Love is for the weak," Dolores said coldly. "Those who love care far too much, and they only end up hurting themselves in the end."

"You'd be surprised," Remus said quietly. "At how brave love can really make you."

* * *

"So, you're sure you're going to be okay when we see Pearson tomorrow?" James asked.

Lily had been reading the script in her bedroom, but she looked up when she heard his voice to see him leaning against the doorframe.

"Yeah," she told him with a nod, setting the book on her nightstand and scooting to the edge of the bed so he could sit beside her. "I feel like I need it, actually, like I owe it to myself to tell him how I feel."

James looked at her with his piercing hazel eyes, and Lily hoped that he could not see as far into her soul as it felt he could. She was going to tell him how she felt about him, how just being this close to him made her heart pound and her hands shake, and how she wanted nothing more than to know that his heart belonged to her. But all of that had to wait until she got rid of the weight that Greg Pearson had left inside her. She wanted to be free of him for James. He deserved that much.

"And how _do _you feel?" he asked softly, taking her hand almost absentmindedly, causing Lily to smile and intertwine their fingers. She loved how completely his hand enveloped her own. It made her feel so safe and protected.

However, regardless of her feelings for him, they were still just friends, so she reluctantly pulled it away and folded her hands in her lap. She sighed, knowing that she could tell James the truth – or part of it, at least. "I feel like, in spite of everything I say, he still hurt me. I didn't mean to like him so much, but he was, well, he was really wonderful at first. I trusted him to protect my heart, but instead, he was the one who destroyed it."

"He didn't destroy it, love," James said in a low voice, turning on the bed to face her and brushing a strand of hair from her cheek. "He just damaged it. But I think you did a pretty great job of putting it back together. It's still the same heart that I've been chasing all these years, so that has to count for something."

Lily laughed quietly. "How do you do it?" she asked. "How do you always know just what to say?"

"I always know what to say to _you_," he corrected. "I think when two people's hearts are the same, it's easier to find comfort in each other."

"Your heart is much better than mine," Lily assured him, though she was touched at what he had said. "You're so full of kindness and bravery and love. It's amazing, James."

"You are, too, Lily," he told her with one of those smiles that he saved just for Lily, though he counteracted the effect by rumpling his hair. "Maybe you just haven't had as much of a chance to show it."

"Well," she said, smiling as his jet black hair stuck up in all directions. "We'll see. But just so you know, I would be honored to have a heart like yours, James Potter."

* * *

**Well, there you have it! I hope you guys liked it! I got my SAT scores back today and my writing was, like, incredible. I was in the ninety-sixth percentile. Math, however, was not so good. Haha.**

**Greg Pearson returns! Dun, dun, **_**dun**_**! Friedel, you were kind of right. XD And Amelia, just so you know, is Amelia Bones.**

**If you guys are writers (or if you're not) check out the album More Than This by Trading Yesterday, it was totally inspiring while I was writing this. (:**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_First they put away the dealers, then they put away the prostitutes, then they shooed away the bums, and they beat and bashed the queers, turned away asylum seekers, fed us suspicions and fears. We didn't raise our voice, we didn't make a fuss. It's funny, there was no one left to notice when they came for us._


	48. Leap of Faith

**THANK YOU: **_**Hannahble, BlackCat718, Claire Lafleur, ksteele4978, Sarahrules336, Joelle8, Malala94, -the smell of autumn-, White Camellia, Bathsheaba, StaceyGibbly, AnonymousMSQ, Zaphiie, WhereIsMyThumpThump, Alysa4eva, Mogseltof, Dirty Blonde, elfling14, blueberrymuffin94, October Dusk, hpdreamer500, lorimae07, Little Birdy2, LozzT-In-Time, LilyandAlice, Loona22, shmankingowner44, Ugeror, pinkpearl89, MssrsMWPP, Queenie's Broken Heart, SecretlyAGryffindor, lana-bear, **_**and**_** xExpectoxPatronumx**_** for the reviews! Without all of you, there is no way I would have gotten this far. And might I just say that your unanimous decision to send Greg to hell made me laugh every time I got a new review. (:**

**And a HUGE thanks to**_** lilballofenergyd**_** for sending me a super long and very detailed review that totally made my day! This chapter is for you!**

**Disclaimer: Everything belongs to the wonderful, fabulous, beautiful J.K. Rowling, without whom, none of this would be possible.**

_The evil of the world is made possible by nothing but the sanction you give it. _– Ayn Rand

**Chapter Forty-Eight: Leap of Faith**

Frank sat with Augusta at the little breakfast table in the kitchen, waiting for Henry, Frank's father, to return from work. He was an Auror, and though he spent most of his time planning missions, he had decided to actually take one the night before, since the Ministry had been short on help.

Alice, seeing their worry, but also knowing that Mr. Longbottom had to come home in one piece, took it upon herself to make breakfast for the three of them. She, like Lily, was not an excellent cook, but she managed eggs and toast without burning the house down, for which she was quite proud.

"Please eat something, you two," she insisted, setting a plate in front of both Frank and his mother, but they just continued to stare at the fire. Alice sighed, going to stand in front of the hearth so they were forced to look at her. "Okay, listen," she began, her tone demanding and her hands on her hips. "Worrying about him is not going to bring him home, and it's not going to do either of you any good. So please, eat, try to stay hopeful, all right? I've never really had a family to worry over, but I can imagine how I would feel if you were out there fighting, Frank, and I also know that you'd hate for me to sit here lifeless and terrified the entire time."

"You're right," Frank told her, some of the light returning to his eyes. He took her hand and pulled her into his lap, kissing her on the cheek and taking a bite from his toast. "Thank you for staying optimistic."

Alice smiled at him and wrapped and arm around his neck, snuggling against him and taking the forkful of eggs he offered her. After she finished chewing, she looked between Frank and Augusta. "It's what I'd want you to do for me if the situations were reversed."

Augusta, who had been welcoming, but rather stiff toward Alice since she had arrived, softened suddenly, and reached across the table to take her hand. "When Frank first told me about you," she began, a small smile breaking through the lines of worry etched in her face. "I very nearly slapped him for ever even considering dating one of_ them_, I left their high society because it was shallow and meaningless and there was no purpose in living a life like that. The last thing I wanted was for my son to be dragged back into it. But then I heard about what you said to your mother at the Potters' – about how blood doesn't necessarily determine your family, and how you like to wear your heart on your sleeve because you know that my son will protect it – and I think I knew right then and there that you were just the girl for Frank."

A wide smile spread across Alice's face at her words, and she gave the older woman's hand a squeeze. "Is there any particular reason that you couldn't have told me this sooner? I've been on the verge of a panic attack ever since I got here."

Frank and Augusta laughed, relieving still more of the tension in the room, and Frank wrapped his arms around her waist so he could pull her closer to him.

"I had to make sure that you were more than a story," Augusta answered simply. "And I think you just proved that to me."

At that moment, the embers in the fireplace relit into bright green flames, and Henry Longbottom emerged, coughing, bruised, and exhausted looking, but thankfully all in one piece. Mr. Longbottom was clumsy enough at the best of times, and Augusta rushed forward immediately to help him reach the table.

"What happened, Dad?" Frank asked gently as Alice poured him a glass of water and tried to pretend that she could not see the horror in the older man's eyes.

Henry took a grateful sip before he sighed and ran a hand through his thinning hair. "Some of Voldemort's followers, the Death Eaters, entered a Muggle village last night and broke into some of the houses. They dragged the Muggles out into the street – all of them, men, women, children, infants – and separated them. Some were burned at an old fashioned stake," he paused momentarily, closing his eyes and shuddering at the memory. "We think the Death Eaters wanted to repay them for what Muggles did to us back in the medieval times. The others were tortured, and if we hadn't of shown up when we did, they surely would have been killed as well."

Alice shook her head, trying to rid it of such an awful picture, and wrapped her arms around herself tightly. "Did you catch any of the Death Eaters?"

"One," Henry answered, his fists clenching. "Trisha Malfoy. But she claimed to have been under the Imperius Curse and Chief Warlock Umbridge released her without any charges."

"_What_?" Alice and Frank asked together, and Alice could feel anger boiling in her stomach as she thought of everything that woman had done to Constance.

"She gives a good deal of money to the Ministry," Augusta told them, her voice cold. "She has them all in her pocket."

"But she was there at Malfoy Manor when we went to save Stella. She tried to kill her own daughter!" Alice argued. "We could tell them –"

"Alice," Henry sighed, looking as though he had aged ten years over the course of a single night. "It's time you stop putting so much faith in our Ministry. Working within it has taught me that. Like any government, it runs primarily on money, and it always will because it is already corrupt beyond repair. Your words may be the truth, but the Wizengamot will choose not to acknowledge them."

She groaned in frustration as Frank turned to his father and asked, "What about the others? Were you able to recognize any of them?"

"That was the worst part," Henry admitted. "So many of them were no older than you or Alice. How could we fight them when it was like fighting our own children?"

"Which is exactly why_ we've_ got to start doing something," concluded Frank, a determined look in his eyes that both terrified Alice and thrilled her.

"Son, no," Augusta began. "You haven't even started your Auror training yet –"

"But he's right," Alice cut her off, swallowing a lump of fear and moving to take Frank's hand in her own. "We know these people – Bellatrix, Greg, Snape, all of them. We've fought them before, and we don't have to second guess ourselves. If we could do any shred of good, I don't know what we're waiting for."

"You're young and naïve," Augusta argued. "You can't possibly imagine the horrors you would face, or the fear, or loss, or pain."

Alice sighed and pulled up the bottom edge of her shirt to reveal faint white scars crisscrossing along her sides. "See those?" she asked, surprised by the coldness in her voice. "When we were fighting at Malfoy Manor, someone hit me with the Cruciatus Curse, and I was in so much pain that I did that to myself, with my own hands. I don't know if I thought I could end the pain, or distract myself, or if I was trying to rip myself apart, but don't tell me that I don't know what we're up against. Frank and I know better than most people our age. We've already fought the Death Eaters, we've already had a friend die. We had to watch Lily as she was completely torn to shreds emotionally when the Death Eaters killed her parents, and again when Greg Pearson broke her heart. We have to watch Stella flinch every time she sees a man she's never met, or avoid social settings all together because the Death Eaters bred the fear into her. We have to watch Vanessa and Remus fight our government every single day because the Ministry can't get over their own prejudices. Not even for love. Trust me, Mrs. Longbottom, we understand completely."

A ghost of a smile flickered across Henry's face. "Frank, m'boy, I think this one's a keeper."

Frank wrapped an arm around Alice's waist and pulled her to him, making Alice blush. "Oh, believe me, Dad, I know."

In spite of everything, Alice could not keep the smile off of her face as she leaned into him. "I know we're young and inexperienced," she went on, looking back and forth between Frank's parents. "But maybe that's a good thing. We're still willing to do what's right."

* * *

"So you have your first rehearsal today," Natalia Potter said cheerily as she sat with Lily, James, Sirius, and Stella at breakfast. "Are you looking forward to it?"

Lily did her best to give the older woman a convincing smile, but her stomach was churning with nervousness and fear. James bumped his knee against hers under the table and when she glanced up at him, he winked – his silent way of telling her that everything was going to be all right. Her smile felt warmer, suddenly, and more real, as she knew that as long as he was there, things would be just fine.

She was about to answer Mrs. Potter's question, but at the moment, James' father entered the room, dressed in his Auror robes.

"Harold, what are you doing?" Natalia asked her husband, standing up and crossing her arms. "First you're gone half the night fighting Death Eaters and now you're going into _work_? You left the Ministry for a reason, don't you remember?"

"I know, darling," Harold Potter told her softly, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her to him. "But there were so many attacks, and a lot of Aurors are hurt, some are dead. They need every available hand. And I know the Ministry is corrupt, love, but innocent people are dying. I'm not going to sit back and do nothing when I'm trained to help."

Natalia fixed him with a hard stare and Lily found herself fighting the urge to scream "Just kiss him, you dolt!" Of course, considering that this was the woman who had taken her in when she had nowhere else to go, she decided against it. But, looking at the two of them, Lily could not help but see herself and James. The way Mr. Potter called her 'darling' and 'love' was exactly the way James said those same words to her – like she truly was the most darling thing he had ever encountered. She stole a glance at the messy-haired boy beside her and found him grinning at his parents unashamedly, as if no one in the world deserved to be looked up to more than they did, and suddenly, Lily found herself honored to be on the receiving end of the pet names that she once found embarrassing and aggravating.

"You're right, of course," Natalia said with a sigh. "But you be careful, all right? Because if you get hurt, I'll kill you myself!"

Harold chuckled at his wife and pulled her into a deep kiss.

"Get a room, would you?" Sirius groaned, but Lily could see him hiding a smile similar to the one that was still on James' face. She knew how much he loved the Potters.

Harold laughed and cuffed Sirius lightly on the back of the head before he turned to Stella. "You're a brave one," he told the blonde. "First girl he's brought around, actually. He probably scared the others away before he could even ask them over."

Stella blushed, but laughed as well. "I guess I figure he did_ try_ to save my life, even if he managed to royally screw that up. But then again, at least he wasn't the reason I nearly drown." She grinned, sending a pointed look at Lily and James.

"Don't look at me," James said, holding his hands up defensively. "That was Lily's idea."

Lilt swatted him on the back of the head, but laughed anyway. "You say that like I knew that there just _happened_ to be a hole in the wall that just _happened_ to lead right into the cell where they were holding Sirius and Stella. What were the odds of that?"

"Well, you see, Lily-flower," Sirius told her, fighting a smile. "I'm one in a million. So even if the odds are slim to none, I've got it covered."

Everyone burst into laughter, and Lily felt some of the tension that had been bubbling in her stomach begin to ease away.

* * *

"Have you thought about my offer?" Bellatrix asked in her slow, cracked voice. She was walking circles around Peter, who was tied up and trembling on the floor in his kitchen. "The Dark Lord could make you great, you know. Far greater than you could ever hope to be with Potter and my blood traitor cousin."

Peter was shaking with fear, but he shut his eyes tightly and tried to imagine what his friends would do in such a situation. "I'll n-never join y-you," he squeaked.

To his surprise, a manic gleam found its way into Bellatrix's heavy lidded eyes. She gave a high pitched cackle, keeping her wand trained on Peter. "Oh! You're going to _resist_! How _noble_ of you. Trying to be like your friends, are you? But why? They haven't even bothered to check on you."

"W-why w-w-would they?" Peter asked, trying as hard as he could to keep his voice from shaking. "I ha-haven't t-told them anyth-thing was wr-wrong."

That seemed to catch Bellatrix off-guard. She tilted her head to the side, her thick black hair cascading over her shoulder. "You didn't run to Potter for help? Maybe there will be even more use for you than I thought," she mused as she resumed her circling. "We _need _you, Peter," she told him sincerely. "We need someone with your abilities and connections. You would make the perfect spy, and the Dark Lord would award you with status and protection beyond anything the wretched old Muggle lover Dumbledore could ever hope to offer you. With us, you would be an _asset_, not a liability." She paused then, letting her words sink in. "I shall be back to hear your decision. However, so that you have a small taste of what you shall feel should you try to resist me again – _Crucio_!"

* * *

"You sure you two are ready for this?" Sirius asked, looking between Lily and Stella.

Lily shot her blonde friend a determined glance and they nodded simultaneously, causing the boys to smile proudly.

"Come on, then."

James took one of her hands and Sirius took the other, and while it was unnecessary since they were all of age and had their Apparation licenses, Lily was glad that they were there to reassure her that things were going to be okay.

After a few seconds of feeling as though she was being forced through a small tube, Lily came to a stop with the others in a small, deserted alley behind the theater.

"Ugh," Stella moaned, leaning on Sirius for support. "I _really_ don't think Muggles are supposed to do that."

Sirius chuckled and ruffled her hair lovingly, and Lily found she could not contain a smile as she watched her two friends. That smile, however, vanished quickly when they turned and made their way into the auditorium.

"Welcome!" Neil Harris said brightly, checking their names off a clipboard and tucking his pencil behind his ear. "Everyone, I would like you to meet Stella Redwood." He motioned to Stella, who gave a little smile. "Lily Evans." Lily waved a bit at the small crowd that was already gathered on the stage. "James Potter and Sirius Black."

The group greeted them with varying levels of enthusiasm, clearly having already done many introductions that morning. Neil went around and gave everyone's names, and Lily tried to remember them all. It should not have been hard, there were not very many of them, but she was so worried that the next face she saw was going to be Greg's that her mind did not seem to be working properly.

However, he was conspicuously absent throughout the introductions, and Lily was just letting out a sigh of relief when the doors behind her flew open.

Two men walked in, though Lily preferred to think of them as one man and one pig. The first was short, squat, and jolly looking, with a vibrant array of clothing on that clearly said one thing – wizard. The Muggles around him must have simply thought of him as eccentric, because Neil and a few of the actors smiled indulgently and welcomed him readily.

"Mr. Pearson," Neil said jovially, bending down to shake his hand. "What a pleasure! I had no idea you would be coming today."

Greg's father chuckled heartily, clapping his son on the back. "I wouldn't miss it, Neil! I see some old faces are back, and some new ones as well! It will be – _Stella_?"

Lily spun around to see Stella, who had been trying to conceal herself behind James and Sirius, step out. She was beet red and shaking slightly, but she met the older man's gaze and held it. "Hello, Mr. Pearson, it's been a while."

He did not seem to notice anything awkward about the situation, for he embraced her like he would a daughter, not even noticing her flinch. "It's been too long, my dear! The wife and I have missed you!"

Stella backed away from him a bit, looking completely at a loss for words, but she was saved by Neil, who clapped his hands together loudly. "Sorry to break up this lovely reunion, Mr. Pearson, but we must be getting started."

"Of course, of course," Mr. Pearson agreed, taking a seat in the audience while the actors and stagehands formed a circle on the stage.

Lily had not noticed until she sat down between Stella and James how much she had been shaking.

"Are you all right?" James whispered, noticing too and sending Pearson a poisonous glare.

Lily nodded. "It's just nerves and anger," she assured him with what she hoped was a convincing smile. "Stella's got to be feeling worse."

The two of them glanced at the tall blonde, who, to their surprise, had her eyes closed and a small smile on her face.

"Um, Stella?" Lily asked, putting her hand on her friend's shoulder. "Are you feeling all right?"

Stella opened her eyes and gave them a sheepish smile. "Yes, I was just remembering how good it felt to punch him in the face."

Lily laughed quietly. "That was pretty much one of the best feelings in the world," she agreed. "And who knows? Maybe we'll even get a chance to repeat that experience."

At that moment, Neil called for their attention. "All right, I'm going to start the actors on a few warm-up activities, and then I'll set my stagehands to work. I've got a pretty good idea of who I want as leads in all of the different fairytales, but I'm going to watch you today to make sure you have the chemistry for it, got it?"

"Got it," they all repeated, standing and splitting up.

"I really wish Sirius was an actor," Stella admitted quietly, her strong, determined mask slipping slightly. "He would be around all the time. It would make it a lot easier."

Lily pulled her into a quick hug. "I know, Stell. But James and I are here, okay? And I know you're not in love with either of us, but we'll do the best we can to help."

Stella laughed a little. "Thanks, Lily. And I'm here for you, too. I know he broke your heart. That doesn't heal any easier than what he did to me."

"Okay," Neil called. "We're going to start with a basic trust exercise. I will put you into groups and you will fall backwards and catch each other. I want Clara, Daphne, and Dylan here, Annabelle and Ian over here, James and Lily over here, and Stella and Greg over there."

"Damn," James growled. "He said he was going to try to keep him away from you two."

Stella swallowed hard, but put on a brave face. "Well, Neil never said that I _had_ to catch him. Maybe this is his way of letting me get some small for of payback."

Lily crossed her arms angrily. "A bruised tailbone is nothing compared to what he did to you."

"I know," Stella said with a shrug. "But I have Sirius now, and I'm not going to let Greg mess that up for me. Maybe it's better if I just try to forget about everything and move on."

James seemed to understand because he nodded grimly. "Listen," he said, his tone serious. "If he tries _anything_, just yell. Sirius and I will be there so fast he won't know what hit him."

"And me," Lily added.

Stella smiled. "Thanks, you two. That means everything." She paused as Greg called her name from across the stage. "I better go. Wish me luck. Maybe I'll fall on his crotch and disable him for life."

She winked and made her way to where he was waiting for her, his charming grin so see-through now that Lily actually looked at it.

"She'll be fine," James said comfortingly, putting a hand on her shoulder. "It's you we need to worry about. Are you sure you're going to be able to trust me enough to do this? I mean, I can find someone switch with if you want."

She rolled her eyes at his sarcastic tone. "Oh please, James. You know you're one of my best friends, right? And I know that after all this time that sounds crazy and ridiculous, but you are. We've been through hell and back together, and it hasn't been easy, and it hasn't always been fun, but, looking back, I'm not sure that I would want it any other way." She smiled up at him, feeling herself blush at her own bold statement. "And to be honest, James, after everything, this activity is kind of a joke. I think we've already got the trust thing down."

* * *

It was one of those moments when James would have liked nothing more than to take her in his arms and snog her senseless. But something she had said struck a chord with him that bothered him more than he would have cared to admit.

"_You know you're one of my best friends, right?"_

After everything they had been through together, was that really how she saw him? She had told him once before that she was confused about her feelings for him, but had she figured them out only to realize that she could never love him the way he loved her? Was he doomed to only ever be a friend to her? Would he be her shoulder to cry on and her partner-in-arms, but never someone she could fall in love with?

He tried to smile at her as she turned around, spread her arms, and fell backward without hesitation. She did not flinch or make as if to catch herself like the other girls were doing. She just fell.

James caught her easily before she could hit the ground and marveled at her complete trust in him. How could you trust someone so much and _not _be open to loving them? Was he really that repulsive that she simply could not do it?

"Excellent!" Neil Harris exclaimed, breaking his train of thought. "Lily, that was wonderful! I've never seen someone fall so willingly."

Lily blushed slightly and James had to smile. Regardless of his own troubled thoughts, seeing that pink color rise in her cheeks would always put a grin on his face.

She shrugged as James put her back on her feet and gave him a small smile. "I guess after someone's proved themselves to you again and again, it's not so hard – to fall, I mean – when you know that they'd catch you no matter what."

Her emerald green eyes bore into him as she spoke, as if they were trying desperately to convey some silent message that James simply could not read. He ran a hand through his hair absentmindedly as Neil positively beamed at them.

"You've definitely got the chemistry that I'm looking for!" he announced happily, causing Lily's blush to darken and James' grin to grow. "I'll definitely have to put you two together in something."

He turned to walk away, but James grabbed him by the arm. "Wait, can I ask you a question?" he whispered, glancing around to make sure only Neil and Lily could hear.

Neil sighed. "You want to know why I put Stella with Greg," he stated simply. "I didn't want to, believe me, I didn't. But Mr. Pearson has put a lot of money into this production, and my superiors and myself would be daft not to do as he asks."

"So he wants the two of them together?" Lily asked, looking across the stage in disgust. Stella was pushing Pearson away from her, and she was looking close to livid.

"I think he has a romantic view on life," Neil told them, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked over to where Mr. Pearson sat, watching his son and Stella with a smile on his face, oblivious to their arguing. "I think he wishes for them to fall in love, and in some misguided way, believes that this is how to make that happen."

James felt his temper rising. Old men could not subject Stella to such torture simply for their own selfish ideas! He was about to march right up to Mr. Pearson and give him a piece of his mind, but a soft hand in his own stopped him in his tracks.

"Getting angry won't solve this," Lily told him, trying to smile. "It will only cause problems for the theater. Besides, Stella's tougher than she looks. She may not be over the trauma of what happened to her, but she's beyond the frightened stage. If anything, she's ready to beat him to a pulp. Let her be the one to get mad, all right? She's the one that needs to let it out, and she will. Just give her some time."

James nodded and gave her hand a squeeze, relishing the fact that he was holding a small piece of Lily Evans.

* * *

"No," Stella said firmly, and Lily smiled inwardly at her friend's blatant refusal of the activity laid out before them.

She was to be blindfolded, and Greg would lead her through an obstacle course set up on stage, ending with a jump off the stage into his arms.

"There is no way I'm doing this with you," Stella went on, glaring up at Greg, who grinned down at her and tried to wrap an arm around her shoulders, but she pushed him off.

"Come on, Stella baby, you know how much I care about you."

"_Are you out of your mind_?" Stella hissed, her brown eyes narrowed in hatred.

Lily knew the explosion was coming, she could practically feel it ready to burst from inside the tall blonde who was standing a few feet from Greg with her hands on her hips. Everyone was watching the two of them, for no one but Sirius, James, Lily, and Neil knew the truth about what Greg had done to her, and all were curious as to why she was so upset at a simple trust activity.

"Switch with me," Lily said quickly, knowing that Stella would regret it if everyone knew what had happened to her. "You go with James, and I'll," she gulped, unsure for a moment. "I'll go with Greg."

"Lily –" Stella and James said together, both wearing worried expressions, but she did not want to argue with them.

"Just do it, all right?" Lily glanced around at the curious faces all staring back at her and thought wildly for something to excuse her little scene. Hating herself for it, she looked down in what she hoped seemed like embarrassment and went on. "I… I want to be with Greg."

The other actors and stagehands seemed to buy it, for they smiled at her knowingly and split up into their groups once more, leaving Lily alone with Greg, Stella, and James.

"Lily, sweetheart, I knew you'd –" Greg began, putting his hand at the small of her back, but James was too quick for him.

"You listen to me," he growled, inches from Greg's face and his wand pointed at his throat. "The only reason you're even alive right now is because Lily is too good to let me kill you. But let me make something very clear. If you do_ anything_ to hurt her, or if you even touch her in any way she doesn't want you to, I will not hesitate to give you a slow and painful death."

Lily gave James a small smile as he turned to walk away, leaving the two of them to begin the obstacle course. There was so much that she had to say to Greg, but once she actually had the chance, simply being in his presence was making her so nervous she was afraid to even open her mouth lest she vomit right then and there. It was not even the fact that she knew he was a Death Eater, or that she knew what he had done to Stella. The thing that was twisting her stomach into painful knots was the fact that, like it or not, Greg had once held power over her. He had had enough power to shatter her heart into tiny pieces, and she was terrified of somehow giving him that power again.

"You little bodyguard can't watch you all the time," Greg said with his perfectly straight grin, leaning down so that he and Lily were eye-level. "Maybe you and I can sneak away and it'll be like old times."

Lily snorted. "By 'old times' do you mean you using me to get Stella back, taking my friends captive, or trying to kill us? None of them sound all that appealing, I'm afraid."

Greg cupped her face in his hand and Lily's heart began to race, but she glared determinedly back up at him. "I mean old times like when we would walk down the streets and I could stop and kiss you for no reason at all. And those few times when you would let me go farther than ever." He ran his hand down her throat and let it rest at the base of her neck, threatening to go beneath her shirt. "Those were the best times."

"You're disgusting," Lily spat, throwing the blindfold at him. "Let's just get this over with."

She turned around, but as the fabric covered her eyes, she could feel Greg's warm breath in her ear. "I could feel your heart beat, sweetheart. I know I still have an effect on you."

And then he was gone, and his voice could be heard from a few feet in front of her, guiding her through the course. Every direction he gave her, every move he told her make, she did so with extreme caution. But as she went on, she discovered something that scared her more than anything she had ever faced before.

In spite of the fact that he worked for Voldemort, in spite of the fact that he was a vile, wicked, evil man, and in spite of everything that he had done to her personally, Lily trusted Gregory Pearson.

It was not something that she wanted, but somehow, she knew that he wasn't going to lead her astray. It was as if in his own, sick, twisted way, he wanted her to want him, so he was going to be trustable because of that. It was wrong on every level, but when he told her to jump, that she had reached the edge of the stage, she did so, knowing that he would catch her. And he did.

Lily ripped off her blindfold and struggled out of his arms immediately, absolutely fuming at her new revelation. Just because she trusted him did not mean that she could not hate him.

"See, sweetheart? That wasn't so bad," he said, rubbing his hand up and down her arm.

She jerked away from him. "Don't touch me," she snapped. "Don't talk to me. Just stay away from me!"

As she marched off to where James and Stella were waiting for her, she heard a soft chuckle from behind and Greg said quietly, "It appears I've touched a nerve."

* * *

The young witch squared her shoulders, straightened the stack of parchment in her hands, and marched through the tall, elaborately decorated doors in front of her.

The office was large, but fairly simple, with a large oak desk situated on a Persian rug right in the center. Behind it sat a tall man with grey hair and rectangular glasses who looked up as she entered, putting away the documents he had been rifling through and fixing her with rapt attention.

"Minister Bones," she greeted, bowing her head respectfully. In all of her time working at the Ministry, she had never come face to face with the man, and though they shared a name, they had never met. In truth, he had become a figurehead as of late, controlled by the Wizengamot and the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. But there was still one thing he could do for her that Chief Warlock Umbridge and his daughter could not overrule. "My name is Amelia. Today is my last day as Court Scribe of the Wizengamot, but before I take my leave, there is one last bill I need you to sign."

* * *

That night, Lily was plagued with nightmares, but they were not the same as she was accustomed to having. Instead, she was in Stella's place throughout her capture at Malfoy Manor, and she had to endure what Greg had done to her friend.

She awoke with a start, a cold sweat forming at her hairline, and she was surprised when James dashed into the room seconds later, his wand drawn.

"What happened?" he asked, spinning around. "I heard you scream."

"I screamed?" Lily repeated, relieved to see him. "I didn't mean to. It was just nightmares. Go back to bed."

James' face softened immediately and instead of leaving, he walked over and sat down beside her. "Was it your parents again?"

"No," Lily told him quietly, looking anywhere but his eyes. "It was Greg."

She could feel him tense, and a low growl emitted from his throat. "I'll _kill_ him."

"It's all right," she whispered, reaching out to place her hand on top of his, and she was surprised at how quickly that one small gesture seemed to calm him down. "It was bizarre, James," she began, deciding that he deserved to know the truth about what was going through her mind. "Today, when we were doing that obstacle course… I… I couldn't help but trust him."

"_What_?" James yelled, jumping off the bed and staring at her as though she had lost her mind. "You know what he did to Stella! And what he did to_ you_! How the hell could you _trust_ him?"

Lily felt her own temper rising and stood to face him. "It's not like I _wanted _to, James. What do you take me for? It just happened!" She started pacing back in forth in front of him, trying to avoid the glare he was giving her. "Don't look at me like that! I'm not going to fall in love with him and run off to join the Death Eaters, okay? I'm just as confused as you are about all of this!"

"It's not that hard to figure out, Lily!" James told her harshly. "He works for the darkest wizard of our time! There's nothing confusing about it! He used you and he lied to you and if he'd had the chance, he probably would have tried to rape you, too! You can't trust him!"

"I know!" Lily shouted back, rubbing her temples. "But you don't understand! I can't help it, it just happened! It was like, I knew he cared about me in his own creepy, despicable way, so I knew he wasn't going to let something happen to me."

James looked fed up and exasperated. He threw his arms in the air and then grabbed Lily by the shoulders, forcing her to maintain eye contact. "Yeah? Well what about me? It took me five years to get you to even talk to me without hexing me! Much less trust me! But you knew all along that I cared about you! What's the fucking difference, Lily?"

"I don't know, James!" Lily screamed, pushing him away as she felt tears burning in her eyes. "I just don't know! I was hoping that I could tell you this and you would be a good friend and help me! But I guess I was wrong! Maybe you aren't really as good a friend as I thought you were!"

"Maybe I don't even want to be your friend!" James yelled, before he turned around and stormed out of the room without looking back.

* * *

– _**Ducks as you all throw your computer screens at me**_** –**

**Don't worry you guys, I've got two ideas in my head that I'm debating between for how to work this out, both of which I like so much I might just find a way to combine them. (: And I'll update sooner this time, I promise!**

**BIG THANK YOU to Queenie's Broken Heart for a WONDERFUL drawing of Constance! Check it out: i776.*photobucket.*com/albums/yy41/pottedlilies/RedefiningHeroism.*jpg and go tell her how amazing she is!**

**Also, I've said it before, but I wanted to remind you that I'm going back and doing MAJOR editing on the beginning of this story. I've realized that I got some of the facts wrong and that I contradict myself in places, and also that I just wasn't a very good writer at the beginning. So I'm going back and I'm putting a lot more into the first chapters. They're chockablock full of action and drama now. I've added more Snape and the Death Eaters, Constance makes a few appearances, Lily and James have more screaming matches/cute moments. There's tons of stuff, and I've only done the first three chapters! They've gone from about one thousand words to about six thousand, so that's a BIG jump. It's going to be awesome, but I'm not going to post them until everything is done and triple checked. I want this story to be perfect by the time it's completed.**_** IF ANYONE HAS ANY IDEAS, PLEASE LET ME KNOW.**_

**And I hope all the Americans out there had a happy Fourth of July! And for those of you that aren't Americans, I wish you could have seen the sky – there's nothing quite like it. My neighborhood was nothing short of a warzone, but it was fantastic. XD**

**Oh, and I have a friend on this lovely site,**_** StaceyGibbly**_** (there are periods in her penname, but fanfiction won't let me put them there), who has just recently posted her first story! It's Lily/James and it's called **_**Give Me A Purpose**_**. I know it's going to be fantastic and it's already off to a great start. I'm sure she would love it if you would go check it out! You can find it under my Favorites. But first…**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too.  
They live inside us, and sometimes,  
__they win.__  
__- _Stephen King


	49. Lily's Amortentia

**THANK YOU: **_**hpdreamer500, SecretlyAGryffindor, twilightaddict323, Hannahble, evilrobinbird, Joelle8, Mogseltof, Marteczka's Quill, lorimae07, LilyandAlice, -the smell of autumn-, elfling14, Zaphiie, Nikki Ride, xoxtruegryffindorxox, blueberyymuffin94, Super Cara, Loona22, October Dusk, Sarahrules336, missivypotter, ksteele4978, lana-bear, Malala94, StaceyGibbly, shmankingowner44, fshm, Miss. Ally Lautner, Claire Lafleur, BlackCat718, adrian's little dhampire, WhiteCamellia, mayzie, Queenie's Broken Heart, USAtoKSA, UndercoverHufflepuff, Alysa4eva, LozzT-In-Time, WhereIsMyThumpThump, Holly7795, Mintyfresh123, **_**and**_** Prongslet&Moony**_**! You rock my world. (:**

**And a HUGE thank you to everyone who has favorited and subscribed to me and this story so far. I've never thanked you before, but it means everything to me.**

**Disclaimer: I would have to be completely insane to think I owned any bit of this wonderful world.**

_It's funny how we set qualifications for the right person to love, while at the back of our minds we know that the person we truly love will always be an exception._

**Chapter Forty-Nine: Lily's ****Amortentia**

"Thank you for agreeing to meet with us, Professor," Alice began as soon as Dumbledore appeared in Frank's kitchen. However, the Headmaster held his hand up to silence her and walked quickly around the room, muttering under his breath and sweeping his wand over every available surface.

When he was finished, he stowed his wand inside his midnight blue robes and took the seat that Frank offered him at the table.

"Even the walls have ears," he said seriously as Alice and Frank sat down across from him. "Now, what, may I ask, have you called me here to discuss?"

Alice could feel Frank take a deep breath beside her, and she was silently glad that he would be the first to speak.

"Sir, things are getting bad," he stated simply. "Voldemort and his Death Eaters are torturing Muggles in broad daylight, and the Muggleborn killings are rising in number. It would be one thing if the Ministry was talking action, but the Wizengamot isn't willing to press charges against any of the known Death Eaters for fear of losing their financial backers. The Auror offices are doing everything they can, but even when they catch someone, they have to give them up to a court system that will let them go as long as they plead they were under the Imperious Curse."

Dumbledore rested his elbows on the table, bringing the tips of his fingers together and surveying the two students over them with twinkling eyes. "And what, Mr. Longbottom, do you suggest we do to fix the problem?"

"Take action," Frank answered, his voice firm. "We just have to keep fighting them and pushing them back. We may not be able to put them in jail, but we can delay them, hinder them, and maybe that could be enough."

"And who is 'we,'" asked Dumbledore calmly, so much so that Alice could not judge whether he thought the idea was good or not.

"Frank and I, for starters," she piped up. "I'm of age now, and I know I don't know how to fight, but I figured I could learn well enough, especially since I plan to apply for the Auror Academy after I take my N.E.W.T.s. I was able to hold my own at Malfoy Manor. Anyway, we were hoping that, if we got a group together, you would be our leader."

The old wizard smiled. "I should like nothing better." His face turned serious as he went on. "However, you must know that this is not a game. It is not child's play. It is very much life or death. Do you think that you will be able to face that should the time come?"

Frank took Alice's hand under the table and it felt as though warmth and strength were somehow spreading from the tips of her fingers throughout her entire body, and she knew the answer to his question.

"Sir," Frank said. "As long as we've got something to fight for, I think we can face anything."

"And as long as Frank's here," Alice added, smiling up at him. "I definitely have something worth fighting for."

* * *

James threw himself down at the table for breakfast, knowing he looked disastrous. There were bags under his eyes and his hair, which was usually messy in a casual, windswept way, instead stuck up in every direction. But none of that mattered to him as he glanced at Sirius, Stella, and his parents, who were all staring at him with a mixture of worry and sympathy.

"I guess you heard, then?" he asked bitterly, ignoring the food that Tink-Tink placed in front of him.

Sirius clapped him on the shoulder. "Mate, I think everyone within a few hundred miles heard. You and Lily never were ones for subtlety."

"What did you do to her?" his mother asked, fixing James with a stern look from across the table.

"Why do you _always_ assume that it was my fault?" he asked harshly, throwing his hands in the air in frustration. "Did you ever stop to consider that maybe _she_ did something to _me_ for once?"

"Did she?" asked his father, while the others looked at him in surprise.

James crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, unsure if he wanted to explain the whole situation. "Kind of, yes. I had every right to get mad at her, trust me."

"But you could forgive her, too, you know," his mother said, a soft smile on her face. "Goodness knows she's forgiven enough of your idiocy if everything Sirius tells us is true."

"It's different, Mum," James told her, shooting his best friend a withering look. "I was an arrogant prat sometimes, sure, but this is…"

"What?" came a voice from behind him, and he turned to see Lily glaring at him, hands on her hips. She did not look like she had slept at all – her hair was frizzy and circles even darker than his own were forming under her eyes; she had not even bothered to change out of her pajamas before coming downstairs. But regardless of her tired appearance, she seemed to have enough energy to be angry. "This is _what_, Potter?"

"So, we're back to that, now?" James spat, standing up and making his way to where she was standing.

She took a few steps back, but her defensive position held. "It's what you wanted, isn't it?" she asked icily. "You don't want to be my friend? Well, congratulations, Potter, you got your wish!"

James groaned. "Lily, I didn't mean –" he grabbed her wrist as she turned toward the door, but she jerked away from him.

"Don't," she told him harshly, but James could have sworn he saw tears in her green eyes. "Just _don't_."

As she all but ran to the door, James yelled, "Where are you going?"

Lily gave a mirthless laugh, turning back to face him with her hand on the knob. "_Please_, Potter. You can stop pretending like you give a damn."

And she was gone.

"What the hell is wrong with her?" James shouted, slamming his fist into the wall. He regretted it immediately, but the pain in his hand could not hold a candle to the pain he was feeling in his chest. It was as though Lily had reached inside of him and taken his heart with her, and the farther away she went, the more pain it caused him. "Why can't she just…"

"Come on, James," Stella said, giving him a smile. "Don't even think about saying it. You know that if she wasn't exactly the way she is, you wouldn't love her nearly as much."

James angrily ran his hand through his hair. Stella was right, of course, but that did not change the fact that Lily had said that she trusted Gregory Pearson. He knew Lily had never had the best judgment when it came to people – take Snape for example – but _Pearson_? It was impossible for James to even wrap his mind around such a thought.

"Look, Prongs, I know you're not exactly on the best of terms," Sirius told him. "But you'd be an idiot to not go after her."

James glared at him. "I think she made it perfectly clear that she doesn't want me anywhere near her."

"Do you care about her or not?" Sirius growled, standing up and moving around the table so that he could face his friend. "Because I can't really tell anymore! You don't have to follow her to apologize or try to make things right, but _bloody hell_, James, there are Death Eaters out there! Voldemort's out there! Don't tell me you're just going to sit here and sulk while anything could be happening to her!"

"She can take care of herself," James argued weakly, already on the verge of sprinting up the stairs to get his wand.

"Since when has that stopped you?" Sirius asked. "This is _Lily Evans_ we're talking about! Last time I checked, you were sneaking after her just to make sure that_ Snape_ didn't try anything. How else can I say this? _You're in love with her!_ And even though everything always seemed to be against you, even Lily herself, you never gave up. What the hell is stopping you from walking out that door?"

Their eyes locked for a moment, both angry, both afraid, but both absolutely sure of the inevitable. So, without another word, James ran up to his bedroom, grabbed his wand, and dashed back out onto the grounds of Potter Manor.

* * *

He found Lily wondering aimlessly through garden, her bare feet making no noise on the stone path. She paused briefly at a small patch of sunflowers that were planted haphazardly – so different from the neatly organized flowers all around them. A small smile formed on her lips, and James knew she must have realized that he had planted them just for her as soon as he had found out that they were her favorite, but the grin disappeared as she sat down at the edge of a fountain not too far away.

Lily had made it painfully obvious that she did not want to have anything to do with him for the time being, but he hated watching her from a distance. There was a way he could approach her. It was reckless, and he did not know whether she would get scared and run, or figure it out right away and hex him on the spot, but like Sirius had said, this was Lily, so anything was worth a shot.

Stowing his wand in his pocket, James shut his eyes and focused on Prongs until he felt his face elongate, his hands turn to hooves, and his arms reach the ground. He stepped cautiously out from behind the rose bushes and Lily's head snapped up to watch him curiously, but she did not appear to want to run. James pranced over to the sunflowers and began nibbling on them, gauging Lily's reaction, and to his delight, she stood up to shoo him away.

"Don't eat those," she said, though her voice was not unkind, and as she approached him carefully, she pulled a handful of leaves out of the pear tree above their heads and offered them to him. "Somebody worked very hard to plant those you know," she went on, smiling slightly as he turned away from the flowers and took the leaves from her instead. "And after everything I've done, I don't deserve them, but you shouldn't ruin it for him."

James tried to keep his face blank as he looked at her, hoping desperately that he would not give anything away, that she would continue to simply talk to him. She studied his eyes, and he was curious to know if she recognized their hazel color, but after a moment, she made her way back over to the fountain.

Under the pretense of searching for more food, James followed, bumping his head against her hand gently. Lily smiled at him and rubbed his nose, sighing to herself and staring back at the Manor as she did so.

"I didn't know stags were so trusting," she admitted, looking back at James and scratching his head lightly. "But you probably wouldn't be if you knew what a dolt I've been."

James did not move, silently willing her to continue, and after a brief pause, she did.

"He's probably the best friend I could have ever asked for," she told him, once more looking back to the house, as though she could somehow see him through the walls. James wondered if listening to what she had to say in private was invading her personal space, but at this point, he just needed to know that she trusted him and needed him more than Greg Pearson. "He's caring and loyal and amazing in so many ways. He's always been there for me, even though I gave him every reason to turn around and walk away. This time, I think I just pushed him too far. I mean, it was bound to happen. I don't know why I couldn't just open up and let him in. Though, I was really starting to. These past few months, I think I've actually been falling –"

Lily stopped abruptly, staring at James' back, and, despite his better judgment, he turned to see what she was looking at. After many outings with a werewolf, the fur there grew in patches, and layer upon layer of thin white scars curved along his body. He turned back to Lily, whose green eyes were wide.

"James has scars just like those," she breathed. "He would never tell me where he got them."

For a moment, they just stared at each other in silence, wide, horrified eyes to even wider, pleading ones.

"JAMES WESTLEY POTTER!" Lily shrieked suddenly. "You turn back into yourself this instant!"

There was a split second in which James considered dashing off into the woods and pretending that nothing had ever happened, but the thought was gone almost as soon as it entered his mind. He heaved a sigh, and soon enough, he was back to himself, looking down into the enraged and utterly confused face of Lily Evans.

* * *

Lily glared up at him, hoping that she looked livid, though all she could really feel was terror. She had been two words away from revealing her deepest secret to him, two words away from admitting her love for a boy who did not even want to be her friend anymore.

And surely he knew. How many phrasing began with the word 'falling'? The whole situation was completely mortifying.

But, to her surprise, James did not look as though he was going to laugh at her or make a joke at her expense. He just_ stood_ there.

"Explain," Lily managed to choke out, avoiding his eyes as he walked over to the fountain where she had been sitting moments before and plopped down on the edge of it. She sat down beside him hesitantly and stared straight ahead as determinedly as she could.

"Remus is..." he began, but trailed off, and from the corner of her eye, Lily could see him shaking his head. "No, it's more that Sirius, Peter, and I thought… Well, wait, that's not really it either. Okay, back in second year, we figured out that Remus was a werewolf, right?"

"Erm, right?" Lily answered, unsure of what he was trying to say.

"Right," James repeated unnecessarily, his whole demeanor more awkward than normal as he ran his hand through his untidy hair. "We followed him one night, just to see where he went each full moon when he transformed, and when we saw him go under the Whomping Willow, we figured that he had to be alone. I guess we assumed they let him loose in the forest or something, so that he could hunt. But no, he had to spend every full moon basically tearing himself apart. Well, obviously, we couldn't go with him as humans –"

"So you went as animals," Lily concluded, her voice nothing more than an awed whisper. She stared at him, her previous embarrassment forgotten. "But _how_? It's supposed to be extremely difficult! Especially without the supervision of the Ministry."

"It took us the better part of three years," James admitted modestly. "And we made _plenty_ of mistakes, don't get me wrong."

"Of course," Lily breathed, bringing her hand to her forehead in realization. "One or two of you would just disappear sometimes. Everyone just assumed it was for a prank or something, but you must have been –"

"In the forest," James answered for her. "We would have to spend the night there and wait to return completely to normal. Sometimes I would change from stag to human and still have antlers, or Sirius would still be covered in fir. I remember one time, Peter had a rat's tail for a _week_. Luckily it wasn't too difficult to hide, but I could have sworn Snape caught a glimpse of it."

"He always was overly suspicious of you," she told him, shaking her head sadly. "_Prongs_," she went on after a moment. "_Of course_. And Moony, obviously. Sirius is Padfoot, so he's a…?"

"Dog," James supplied.

Lily only nodded. "And Wormtail... a rat?"

"Yes," James answered, rubbing the back of his neck and staring at the ground. "I'm sorry we never told you, but it was dangerous and illegal. I didn't want you mixed up in it if you didn't have to be."

"It's all right. I understand," Lily said, smiling slightly. "I think it's kind of amazing, actually. Turn around."

"What?"

"I want to see the scars," she explained. "You never let me get a good look at them before."

James grinned cockily, and Lily found that she had almost missed that smile. "You just want to see me take my shirt off."

"Don't be a prat," she scolded, rolling her eyes and smacking the back of his head. "Do you really think I find an inch of scar tissue attractive?"

He shrugged. "To each her own." With a wink and a tweak of her nose, he turned around and pulled his t-shirt over his head.

Even though she knew what was coming, Lily could not contain a small gasp at the sight. An inch of scar tissue had not been an exaggeration, and the scars themselves were painful to look at. Some must have been so deep they reached the bone.

Lily ran her hand very lightly over one of the newest scars – it was still a bit red and swollen – causing James to flinch slightly.

"I'm sorry," she said immediately, feeling embarrassed that she had touched him at all. "I didn't mean to hurt you, I just –"

"You didn't hurt me, darling," he told her softly, twisting at the waist so he could face her. The tips of his ears turned pink as he fumbled for something else to say. "Your, uh, hands are just cold."

Despite his awkwardness, Lily found herself fighting a losing battle against a smile. _Darling._ He had called her darling.

"So, erm," she began again. "Madam Pomfrey can't heal these?"

James stared at her incredulously. "Who are you and what have you done with Lily Evans?" he asked, taking her shoulders and moving her left and right, as if expecting another Lily to be hiding behind her. "You're the top of the class in Healing. Surely you know that there's no cure for werewolf bites."

Lily very nearly smacked herself. Of course she knew that, she had just been so desperate to get back to a comfortable topic of conversation that the thought had not even occurred to her.

"Right," she said, feeling as though the conversation was going in circles. Then something dawned on her. "Oh _Merlin_," she whispered, staring up a James suddenly. "That day in the hospital wing – my Patronus – you ran away because…"

"A stag and a doe," he confirmed, his face turning red. But the silence was screaming what he left unsaid – _they mean unconditional love._

_Though, of course,_ Lily thought, _that doesn't really matter anymore, not after what we said last night. He's probably only here in the first place to make sure I don't get kidnapped._

They just sat there for a few moments, staring in opposite directions. Even though Lily knew that her misplaced trust in Greg Pearson might very well have finally ended whatever it was that she and James had shared over the years, she felt that there was one thing she had left to say to him while they were still on civil, speaking terms.

"You know you're pretty much the most incredible person I've ever met, right?"

He just looked at her for a moment, at a loss for words, so she blushed and continued. "I mean, just looking at this," she motioned to his back, "shows that you're the most devoted and loyal friend that anyone could ever ask for. But what means more is that I didn't need to see the scars to tell me that. All I have to do is be _around_ you and it's obvious. And I know you said that you didn't want to be my friend, which I understand, but that doesn't make you any less remarkable."

It seemed that James was unable to adequately find words to express his emotions, for instead of saying anything, he pulled her into a crushing hug.

Lily sat there for a moment in a state of shock. She had been so sure he was through with her. Hell, _she_ would have been through with herself if the situations were reversed. He squeezed her tighter and Lily finally wrapped her own arms around his lower back, where she had noticed fewer scars, and buried her face in his bare chest, breathing in the intoxicating scent of sleep and soap and cologne that all blended together flawlessly to create the smell of James Potter.

She could have sat there for hours and been completely at peace with the world. More than at peace, really. She would have been ecstatic, because as she breathed in that familiar scent and felt his strong, caring arms cradling her to him, Lily found herself feeling safe and at home, in spite of everything.

So she savored the feeling, writing it into the deepest corners of her memory, for she knew that all good things must end, and that hug was simply too good to be true. She assumed that it was James' way of letting her go and saying goodbye, and if that was the case, she was never going to forget the way he made her heart pound and ache in a way that no one else could. She never wanted to forget that moment.

"Lily, I –" he started, but a loud voice cut him off and caused them to jump apart.

"Oi! Prongs!" Sirius shouted, and Lily could hear him pushing bushes and trees aside as he searched for them. "Lily-flower! I hope you two haven't killed each other because we've got practice in… well, now!"

Lily had to laugh softly. "We're over here, Sirius! And we're both alive, thanks for the concern!"

"Anytime," he grinned as he appeared from behind the pear tree. "Now get your scrawny arse up to the house and get dressed so we can go."

"All right, all right," she said, sighing and putting her hands up in mock-defeat. "Give me ten minutes."

* * *

Remus jumped slightly when he heard a faint knock on the door, but set aside the book he had been reading and stood to answer it hesitantly. It couldn't be his mother, who had gone for tea at the neighbors only ten minutes before, but he could not imagine anyone else that would come to call at seven o'clock at night.

When he opened the door, however, Remus found that he was not surprised to see Vanessa, looking up at him with a mixture of awe and gratitude.

"You tried to talk to the Chief Warlock," she stated quietly, searching his face as though she had never seen it before.

Remus smiled sadly down at her, stepping back to allow her into the living room. "_Tried_ being the operative word. He and his daughter wouldn't listen to a thing I said."

They just stood there, a few feet apart, and Remus wanted nothing more than to simply reach out and brush the flyaway strand of hair from her cheek. He was still unable to fathom why a girl so passionate and beautiful and amazing had chosen to stay with him, when he could not even love her the way she deserved.

"But, Rem," she told him, shaking her head a bit and causing that piece of hair to fall into her chocolate brown eyes. "You _tried_. For years you've been oppressed and beaten down until you finally just accepted the fact that this was going to be your fate. You thought that fighting it had never worked in the past, so why bother now? But look at you, Rem," she went on, smiling slighting as a proud look crossed her features. "Something changed you. Something gave you enough hope that you gave it a shot. And that in itself means everything to me."

"It was you," he said quietly, trying to convey everything he was feeling with words rather than actions. "You were that something. I guess I just never thought that someone would care enough to actually fight so hard against so much. You could leave. You could find someone else and be happy, but for some reason you choose to stay with me, even though you deserve so much more."

Vanessa sighed, crossing her arms as if to keep them from reaching out to him. "I love you, Remus. And that's not going to change just because some power hungry idiot tells me that I can't anymore, all right?"

Though he grew up knowing that once he reached seventeen, he would never be able to touch another woman, Remus had never realized just how incredibly hard it would be until that moment. Over the past few months, he found himself wanting nothing more than just to hold Vanessa's hand, touch her hair, anything. It was as though she had a part of him inside of her, and he had a part of her with him, and when he held her, kissed her, loved her, that was when they truly and completely connected.

A second knock at the door startled both of them, but Remus stepped in front of Vanessa to answer it, making sure to block her from view in case the person on the other side was a Death Eater or a Ministry official.

But to his surprise, he found himself looking at a witch of about twenty, with a wide square jaw and a determined look in her eyes. He had seen her before; she was the witch that had been speaking with the Umbridges that day at the café. She had left her job at the Ministry because of its corruption.

"Remus Lupin?" she asked, a note of excitement in her voice.

"Yes," he answered as Vanessa came to stand beside him.

The witch's eyes lit up at the sight of her. "And Vanessa Reese! I'm so glad both of you are here!"

"Amelia Bones?" Vanessa asked, a confused look on her face. "From the Wizengamot? What are you doing here?"

It was then that Remus noticed the stack of papers that Amelia was holding close to her, as though they were more precious than gold.

"Well," she began. "I'm not longer on the Wizengamot, or a part of the Ministry at all, actually."

Vanessa gasped, pushing the door back and marching out onto the patio. "But why? You were one of the only people who seemed to listen to me! I was hoping that you could… I don't know. I guess I thought maybe you could have some influence. Did they fire you because you stood up for me that day?"

"Not exactly," Amelia answered, a gleam in her grey-green eyes.

"Then why?" Vanessa repeated, and Remus found himself leaning forward slightly, interested to hear the full story behind her outburst at the café.

"You said it yourself, Vanessa," Amelia told them with a smile. "You asked Chief Warlock Umbridge, _'__Wouldn't you rather lose your job and change the world than keep it and do nothing of value?'_ He may not have taken your words to heart, but I did." She held the papers out to Vanessa, who took them and began scanning through them, her brown eyes widening with each passing second.

"The Chief Warlock is not the only one who can make decisions," Amelia went on. "A law can be passed if it is signed by the majority of the Wizengamot and the Minister of Magic. Afterwards, it is irrefutable, unless the entire Court and the Minister himself agree to change it. I drafted your bill, giving werewolves the right to love, and a surprising number of the younger members of the Wizengamot were more than willing to sign it."

"And the Minister?" Vanessa asked softly, tearing her eyes away from the bill in her hands and looking almost pleadingly at Amelia.

She smiled. "He took a bit of persuasion, but I think he's found himself a bit put-out recently, as the Chief Warlock has gained more control. I think he saw it as a way to show that he still holds the power in the system, but he signed it nonetheless."

Remus could hardly believe his ears. For hundreds of years things had been the same. Werewolves had never had the right to love once they were of age. How could it change with a few simple signatures?

Amelia seemed to read his mind, for she smiled even wider at the two of them. "You came along at the right time, believe it or not. Chief Warlock Umbridge may be old and prejudiced, but there are many young witches and wizards in the court that were able to have open minds. I think your perseverance and the obvious love you have for each other convinced them that this could be a good thing."

He was staring at her in shock, he knew, and Vanessa's expression mirrored his own. After so long, they had actually changed the world.

"Thank you," Vanessa said, her voice barely more than a whisper as she clung to the parchment and clasped Amelia's hand. "Thank you so much."

Amelia winked. "_I _should be thanking _you_. You're the ones that actually gave me something to fight for." With a smile and a wave she turned around. "I'll leave you to it then."

And with a _crack_, she vanished, leaving Remus and Vanessa staring at each other in complete disbelief.

"Was she serious?" Remus asked, looking at the documents Vanessa still held.

The brunette nodded. "It's all here. It omits the old law and replaces it, and it's signed by everyone. It's even got the Minister's seal."

She reached out, slowly and carefully, and touched his cheek, causing a warmth such as he had never felt to spread through his entire body. It was as though in that one simple gesture, the world had been made completely right again. Everything had fallen perfectly back into place, and it was just the two of them, standing there together in a single moment of eternity.

When no Ministry officials broke down the door, when they finally realized that they were safe, and everything was real, Remus gently laid his own hand on top of hers, savoring every tiny point of contact between them.

"We did it," Vanessa whispered, shock and happiness lighting up her eyes and causing her whole body to tremble.

"_You_ did it," Remus corrected with a smile, as he wrapped her in his arms and kissed her with all his heart.

* * *

**James and Lily are so close, I promise. It might not seem like it, but it's coming. And it's gonna be big. :D And no Greg this chapter, I know, but I thought Lily and James needed to work a few things out before he came back into the picture. Don't worry! You'll see lots of his ridiculously handsome face next chapter!**

**Okay, because I don't know if I'll ever go into depth with this in the story, I figured I should give you guys some background on Greg and his family:**

_**His mother and father are Pureblood, but his mother is the one that cares about all the 'Magic Is Might' 'Pure is Perfection' nonsense, so she married Mr. Pearson for his blood and his money, plain and simple. Mr. Pearson, however, doesn't really care one way or the other. He loves his wife, and so he looks past all the bad stuff about her because of that (don't judge him for it; you can't help who you love). Now Greg, he fell for Stella, really and truly at first, and even through his mother was pushing the Pureblood stuff on him, Stella could have saved him from it. She didn't realize it, obviously, but Greg probably would have given up all of his Pureblood ideals to be with her. Then, she broke up with him. Don't get me wrong, he had his flaws before, like his uncontrollable hormones, but I don't think he used to be such a terrible guy. Stella just didn't love him, so she left, and he was heartbroken. Then, it turned to anger and he used Lily to try to win her back, but that, in return, only angered Stella and hurt Lily. And after Stella and Lily left him for good, he truly turned over to the Dark Side. So I know he's a jackass. But there's more to him than meets the eye.**_

**And check out my profile for links to a new story banner made by the lovely Ashley (**_**hpdreamer500**_** here, and **_**!lifeisasong **_**at TDA) and character posters for Sirius and Remus made by **_**shmankingowner44.**_

**OH! And **_**Mogseltof **_**wrote a wonderful oneshot about my characters/the canon characters set back in chapter 36! It's called **_**Drought**_**, and you should all go check it out!**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Love Always,  
****Kayla**

_Everywhere that liberty stirs…  
__Let tyrants fear._


	50. Between Blood and Fairytales

**Sorry! I don't know what else I can say.**

**A VERY IMPORTANT NOTICE ON THE CHARACTERS: I can't recall if I've said this or not, but it is crucial for this chapter and chapters to come that I clarify this. I obviously screwed up the ages of Dorcas, Marlene, Caradoc, everyone that eventually joins the Order. So for the sake of the plot, I am voiding the parts in previous chapters that make them out to be young. CURRENT YEARS (while James and Lily are in their 7****th**** Year): Sturgis Podmore—graduated two years before them, Dorcas—6****th****, Marlene—6****th****, Gale Garrison(OC)—6****th****, Emmeline—7****th****, Benjy—7****th****, Edgar—7****th****, Caradoc—7****th****. Everyone else in the study group is either 5****th****, 6****th****, or 7****th**** year now as well, but a lot of them aren't really that important. All of this will be fixed in the new version of **_**Raindrops**_**. SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE!**

**THANK YOU: **_**ProngsletMoony, Zaphiie, ivyflightislistening, Hannahble, UndercoverHufflepuff, Alysa4eva, Elena Fisher, USAtoKSA, elfling14, ksteele4978, Mogseltof, Happy, SecretlyAGryffindor, StaceyGibbly, Joelle8, twilightaddict323, Malala94, Marteczka's Quill, hpdreamer500, lana-bear, Nikki Ride, raneonthewyndoepain, LilliesAndSunshine, blueberrymuffin94, shmankingowner44, BlackCat718, the same shizz, zombiegoth, lilballofenergyd, Ugeror, WhiteCamellia, Loona22, WhereIsMyThumpThump, Holly7795, Sarahrules336, Queenie's Broken Heart, ofergy, pinkpearl89, BrinaBee, XoXoBellaCullenXoXo, ioninfeilim, Cloee99, October Dusk, LilyxJames4ever, Make it Beautiful, MAraUdERs4ever98, j, xExpectoxPatronumx, sera-evergreen, OhMyJonasHP, Annunminuialiel, LilyanaInLilyanaville, littlemiss185, Amyroo145, Love-Pink26, MissLisa24, ada-astell-black, Cutekittencat, Claire Lafleur, ilydeleo, **_**and **_**BouquetofLillies!**_** Did you know that most of your pennames have been added to my computer dictionary because you are SO AWESOME? I love you all to bits!**

**Thanks also to everyone who Favorited/Alerted and to all those who sent messages to check up on me! It means a TON! I hope I was able to get back to all of you!**

**RECAP: Frank and Alice decide that it is time to take action and talk to Dumbledore about forming a resistance group since the Ministry is corrupt. Lily, James, Stella, and Sirius become involved in a play in Godric's Hollow—Gregory Pearson is also a member of the cast. Bellatrix comes to Peter and offers him a spot among the Death Eaters, telling him she'll return shortly to hear his answer, Amelia Bones goes behind Chief Warlock Umbridge's back to get a law passed so that werewolves can love. Lily and James fight because Lily realizes that she still trusts Greg, and Lily takes it to be the final straw for James. She also learns of the boys Animagus forms. Amelia brings the good news to Remus and Vanessa.**

**Disclaimer: Even in my long absence, I have not secured the rights to Harry Potter, nor do I own the Little Mermaid. JKR and Hans Christian Anderson are still the head honchos.**

_I hear the preacher say speak now or forever hold your peace,__  
__There's the silence, there's my last chance,__  
__I stand up with shaking hands, all eyes on me,__  
__Horrified looks from everyone in the room,__  
__But I'm only looking at you._

**Chapter Fifty: Between Blood and Fairytales**

Peter Pettigrew was not particularly talented. Nor was he fearless, or cunning, or brilliant. But the Sorting Hat placed him in Gryffindor for a reason, and though that reason was unknown to most of the Hogwarts student body, James, Sirius, and Remus saw it right away.

Peter Pettigrew loved his friends.

He respected them, even idolized them at times. James was his hero, Sirius his brother, and Remus his very best friend. The last thing Peter wanted to do was let the three of them down.

So instead of waiting for Bellatrix to return and ask for him to join her, Peter scrambled about the little house early that morning, shoving spare clothes into a traveling bag. He knew his parents were out of danger, as they had traveled to Ireland, but he scribbled a note that told them he was staying with friends and sent his owl away with it. The young wizard took one last glance around his bedroom before turning on his heel and Disapparating to the only safe place he could think of.

* * *

Pale pink sunlight was streaming in across the room when Vanessa opened her eyes. But even in her half-asleep daze, she could tell that something was amiss. The windows in her bedroom were above the bed, not in front of it.

She was in Remus' room.

– Flashback –

_Amelia Bones had gone, leaving them with a copy of the new law. Remus was allowed to love. They had had taken on the system and won._

_Remus was looking down at her in complete disbelief, and Vanessa knew that her expression mirrored his own. She reached out slowly, but without hesitation, and touched his cheek gently for the first time in months; the brunette could not help the large grin that spread across her face. All was well with the world again. It didn't matter that Voldemort was still out there, that everything around them was slowly falling to pieces. They were together, truly, and that was all that mattered._

_Remus waited for a moment, as though afraid that someone would come bursting through the door to tear them apart, but when no did, he placed his large, warm hand on top of hers. Vanessa closed her eyes in contentment, the smile still huge on her face._

"_We did it," she whispered, excitement and joy causing her entire body to tremble, but Remus held her steady._

"You_ did it," he corrected, grinning._

_And then he was kissing her, and Vanessa felt her knees begin to shake. Had she been able to focus on anything but Remus, she might have thought it amazing that she was strong enough to fight the government, but one boy could make her so weak._

_He had one hand around her waist, the other tangled in her hair, and his lips moved across her own with a magical familiarity. Vanessa leaned against his chest, standing on tiptoe and bringing her arms around his neck. _

"_I love you," she murmured between kisses, and could feel Remus smiling as their lips met again._

"_And I love you."_

_The hand around her waist gently guided Vanessa back into the house, and disappeared briefly to shut the door behind them. She kissed every part of his face she could reach as he led her down the hall, and once they reached his bedroom, they both paused._

"_I can't," Remus whispered, breathing hard from lack of oxygen. He rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. "Too many things could go wrong. I love you too much."_

"_This is enough," Vanessa answered honestly, pressing her lips firmly to his, and encircling his waist with her arms. Without breaking the kiss, Remus led them into the room and lay down on the bed, pulling Vanessa down on top of him._

"_Stay with me anyway?" he asked softly, his brown eyes hopeful._

_Vanessa smiled and rested her head on his chest, holding herself tightly against him. "Undoubtedly."_

– End Flashback –

Vanessa grinned and curled up against the man beside her, feeling his steady heartbeat and loving him more than ever. Leave it to Remus to be a gentleman. And leave it Remus to make everything absolutely perfect.

A shrill scream shattered the peace of the moment and Vanessa sat bolt-upright, her eyes searching the room for the source of the noise. Remus' eyes snapped open as well, and he looked disgruntled for a moment before his eyes landed on the doorway. Vanessa followed his train of sight to find Ms. Lupin standing there, laundry basket spilled across the floor at her feet and a terrified expression of shock on her face.

"GET OUT!" shrieked Remus' normally calm mother, yanking her wand of her pocket and pointing it at Vanessa. "You're going to get him killed!"

"Mum!" Remus responded, pushing Vanessa out of the way of the wand and jumping out of the bed. "Mum, it's all right. It's okay now." He was speaking slowly, quietly, as if to a frightened animal. For indeed, the look in his mother's eyes was the equivalent of nothing else. "The law was changed—Amelia Bones, from the Ministry, she got a bill through that revoked the restrictions on who I can love."

Ms. Lupin, a thin woman in her late forties, with ash blonde hair and fading beauty, did not lower her wand, but she stared between the two teenagers in shock.

"You're lying." Was her only response. Her grey-green eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"I'm not," Remus told her, holding his hands up in a peace-making way. "You know how long Vanessa's been fighting for this, and others finally joined her cause. It was all we needed."

"Chief Warlock Umbridge would never allow it." Time and experience had made the once-kind woman untrusting and defensive.

"He wouldn't," Vanessa answered, moving to stand beside Remus, though she made sure not to touch him for his mother's sake. "But it didn't matter. He doesn't have to sign bills to make them into law. Amelia wrote a draft and got over half of the Wizengamot to sign it. And when she presented it to Minister, he signed as well. That makes it indisputable law."

Ms. Lupin's mouth was hanging open in disbelief, her wand arm dropped and hung limp beside her. "It's changed for everyone?"

Remus and Vanessa nodded.

"But it's been the same for hundreds of years…" she muttered, more to herself than to the two teenagers.

"History has to change sometime," Vanessa told her with a small smile. "We just happened to be lucky enough to see it happen."

Suddenly, Ms. Lupin jumped and wrapped both of them in a hug. She was laughing and crying at the same time, and the joy from the night before bubbled up again in Vanessa's heart.

"Thank you," Remus' mother whispered to her. "Thank you for loving him."

* * *

Lily felt her eyes narrow with jealousy as James practiced his part with Daphne Prestwick. The two of them would be performing Sleeping Beauty, and Lily was furious.

"Careful, Lily-flower, I think your hair might be turning green."

She tore her eyes away from Daphne flipping her perfect copper-colored hair over her shoulder to see Sirius looking down at her with a mixture of amusement, pity, and something else on his handsome face.

"Sorry," Lily mumbled, flushing. She crossed her arms over her chest and had to make a conscious effort not to glare at the pair across the theater.

"What are you apologizing to me for?" he asked, watching his best friend over her head. "James is the one who got hurt."

Lily bit her lip. "I know. I didn't mean to. I don't even understand it all myself. Maybe, I thought he could help me."

"Did you even consider what it might do to him to tell him that you trusted Pearson?" Sirius asked, sounding as though he was trying not to growl, and Lily knew that the something else she saw on his face was suppressed anger. "Look, I've rooted for you two all along, but he's my best mate and I'm telling you that you have to stop hurting him."

"I know," Lily repeated, though she could not bring herself to sound angry. Sirius was right. "But don't worry, I don't think I have the power to hurt him anymore. I think I've finally messed things up for good."

Sirius shook his head, sending his black hair flying everywhere. "I know anything about James Potter, it's that he will never give up on Lily Evans."

"Then maybe you don't know him as well as you think you do," Lily told him sadly, turning back to watch James laugh at something Daphne had said.

"Maybe you're not as brilliant as we all thought," countered Sirius. "He's not looking at her, you know. He's looking at whatever it is about her that reminds him of you."

Lily snapped her head back around to look at Sirius, but he was already across the room, talking to Stella and Ian Prestwick, Daphne's brother, as though the conversation Lily had just had with him had never even taken place.

"So, Cinderella," came a voice from her other side—Greg Pearson. "Are you ready to be my princess?"

Lily snorted and turned to face him. He was grinning, looking like the Greek god he had always appeared to be, but that image now only made him more revolting.

"Don't call me Cinderella," she said, and followed him off to run lines.

* * *

Chief Warlock Umbridge had friends in low places. Murderers, thieves, wands-for-hire. And he was not afraid to use them. A discreet owl, a bag of coins, and the mission was set into motion.

It was simple, really, almost laughable to the more experienced assassins. But people would do anything for money, so they took the job without hesitation.

Amelia Bones was twenty-two years old. She lived alone in an apartment on one of the back roads outside London, and was unemployed, though she had once worked for the Wizengamot. She knew law, not action, so of the three men Umbridge hired, only the youngest was sent. It would be too easy.

When Cado Dearborn Apparated outside the building, he could see the witch standing at her sink, directing the dishes to wash themselves. The man grinned to himself, drew his wand, and Apparated again—right into Amelia Bones' kitchen.

* * *

Peter threw his bag on the floor in the small room at the Leaky Caldron and flopped down on the bed. The old, rusty springs creaked in protest, but he ignored them.

The doors were locked and reinforced, the windows had all the curtains drawn, and Peter could only sit there and hope that Bellatrix would not guess where he had gone. He knew that he could not go to the Lupins' or the Potters', for that was the first place the Death Eaters would look for him, and he prayed that once she realized he was not in either place, Bellatrix would leave his friends' families alone. It was the best he knew how to do.

Luckily, Tom, the innkeeper and bartender, had not recognized him, so Peter had told the man that his name was Euan Ackerley, who was a Hufflepuff in his year.

Finally, Peter was able to let out the panic that he had been trying to hold back since that morning. Trembling, he held onto one of the moth-eaten pillows that was placed on the bed and tried to stifle sobs.

Peter Pettigrew was not fearless, not by any means, but he was a Gryffindor, and as such, he moved in spite of fear. But he could feel that thin layer of courage deteriorating in the dimly lit room.

"_With us, you would be an_ asset_, not a liability…"_

He shook his head, trying to erase the words that Bellatrix had so effectively burned into his mind.

"_You would make the perfect spy…"_

"No," Peter said as firmly as he could into the emptiness of the room, but his voice was breaking. "_No_."

"_We _need _you, Peter…"_

And though the young wizard was strong enough to resist while he was alone and partially safe, those words—spoken from the mouth of a murderer—would haunt him for the rest of his life.

* * *

Gideon and Fabian Prewett were first on the list.

The twins had left Hogwarts the year before and entered into the Auror Academy straight away, where they both excelled in nearly everything they tried.

Gideon was tall and commanding. He had been Head Boy in his seventh year and had the calm, controlled demeanor that was necessary for those in that position. The only thing he was unable to manage was his mess of flaming red hair, the signature mark of the three Prewett children—or adults, now, as Molly, the youngest, already had three sons of her own.

Fabian, his brother, was the more vivacious of the two. He stood an inch shorter than his brother, but what he lacked in height (which was not much at all), he made up for in personality. Loud and rambunctious, he had been a favorite of many students of Hogwarts, and had been a role model for the Marauders in their early years. He had held the position of Quidditch Captain since the age of sixteen, and became a respected leader and friend.

The twins were equally brave, equally loyal, and equally loved by all. They were said to be some of the best wizards of the age, and they continually lived up to that praise.

Which is why they were the perfect place to start.

"Do you think they'll even remember us?" Alice asked quietly when she and Frank appeared on the doorstep of the Prewett home. It was a nondescript house on a unremarkable street, with blue shutters and a porch lamp that only gave off dim light.

"Sure they will," Frank told her with a smile. "Gideon and Fabian were popular, but they never thought of themselves as too good for anyone."

Knowing this was true, Alice was reassured, and she once more let the excitement of forming a secret rebellion overcome her as she knocked quickly on the door.

It was Fabian who answered, no doubt having sprung up from whatever he had been doing and dashed down the hall as quickly as he could.

His freckled face broke into a grin at the sight of the two of them on his doorstep. "Oi, Gideon! Guess who it is?" he yelled over his shoulder.

Gideon appeared from the living room, though he had the dignity to refrain from sprinting to the door. His smile was identical to his brother's.

"Frank," he greeted congenially. "Alice, good to see you."

"You, too, Gideon," Frank said, shaking his hand.

"What's going on?" asked Fabian curiously as he closed the door and followed the other three further into the house.

Frank and Alice looked at each other before glancing around the hallway. It was lined with photographs of the Prewetts (and now the Weasleys as well) and their many friends, so the young witch and wizard were unsure of who else might be listening.

"Ah," said Gideon, catching on immediately. "Come this way."

As he led them into the kitchen, Alice saw him exchange a look with his brother, who understood the situation right away. The dishes were piled high in the sink, and were slowly washing themselves, as if it was the last thing they wanted to do. But the rest of the room was quite clean (no doubt Gideon's doing) and welcoming.

"Through the pantry, then," Fabian told them, opening the wooden door on the far end of the room and bowing them through.

Alice looked up at the twins skeptically, for the pantry was no more than a few feet deep and crammed with food. There was no way the four of them could fit inside.

"Think Nine and Three-Quarters," Gideon and Fabian said together, winking silmultaneously.

Understanding, Alice walked straight at the back wall, but found that she did not run into the canned tomatoes that sat on the shelf. Instead, she opened her eyes to see a dark room of unknown size.

"_Lumos_," said one of the twins, appearing beside her a second later.

The room was lit faintly then, and Alice could see that it was quite large, though most of the space was taken up by dusty boxes and old, tattered armchairs.

"Have a seat," said the other brother, Fabian, she could now see, as he appeared behind Gideon, followed closely by Frank.

The four of them made their way into the room, lighting lamps as they went. Alice chose a maroon armchair that looked less filthy than the others.

"Wait! Not there—" Gideon began, but it was too late. With a large swallowing noise, the chair folded up around her and surrounded her in an extremely uncomfortable darkness. Her knees were an inch from her nose, and her arms were pinned to her sides.

"Get me out!" Alice called, and she could hear Fabian's muffled laughter from outside the chair.

"Just a second, Alice," Gideon told her with an aggravated sigh, but she heard the smile in his voice.

Suddenly, the chair started to shake, chuckling as it did so. After a moment, it was full-out laughing, and eventually, it spit Alice out again.

"Ah!" the little blonde yelled as she tumbled out onto the floor. Rubbing her sore nose, she asked, "What kind of chair is that?"

"My own invention," Fabian claimed proudly as Frank pulled her to her feet. "You have to tickle it to get out. What'd you think?"

"Horrible," Alice told him with a grin. "Utterly revolting."

"Excellent," came Fabian's reply.

"Everyone has to have a hobby," said Gideon, shaking his head in amusement and leading them across the room to another set of chairs. "He hasn't gotten to these yet."

Gingerly, Alice poked a midnight blue chair that had stuffing pouring out of the back. When it did not try to bite her hand off, she sat down on the edge of the seat, which made the brothers laugh.

"So, what was it you wanted?" Gideon asked inquisitively as the three boys sat down as well.

Frank took a final look around the room, and deciding it was secure, began to explain. "You know Voldemort is gaining power, and I'm sure you've realized that the Wizengamot isn't doing much about it."

Fabian huffed indignantly. "Damn right they're not," he agreed. "Everyone in the Auror Department is working until they drop to capture the Death Eaters, but the court sets them free."

"They give so much money to the Ministry that the judges are afraid to touch them," Gideon explained, a bit more composed than his brother, though his anger still burned in his crystal blue eyes.

Alice and Frank nodded.

"We know," Alice told them. "That's why we're here. We want to do something about it."

"What did you have in mind?" the twins asked together.

"We've spoken to Dumbledore," said Frank. "And we want to start a group, of sorts, that can fight the Death Eaters without having to get involved with the Wizengamot."

"Vigilante justice?" supplied Fabian. "I like it."

"As do I," agreed Gideon. "But I don't know that it will work."

"Why not?"

Gideon ran a hand through his unruly hair, reminding Alice temporarily of James, before he spoke. "The Ministry is going to want to put an end to it as soon as they hear about it. They want to be in control, and I imagine that someone outside the Ministry trying to do its job for it will not sit well with people like the Chief Warlock or even Scrimgeour."

"The Head of the Auror Department?" asked Fabian. "But surely he just wants this end like the rest of us do. I don't think he would have a problem with it."

But Gideon was shaking his head long before Fabian finished. "He's been in the Ministry too long, just like the rest of them. He likes the power too much now to give it up to some kids on the streets."

"Then we make sure no one knows what's going on," Alice said decidedly. "The Ministry doesn't have to know, and even if they heard of something, they're too high and mighty to think that we would be a threat."

"We'll just have to keep up the illusion of incapability," added Frank, watching the brothers closely.

"Well I'm in," Fabian told them immediately. "I'm ready to fight, and Scrimgeour has been keeping us locked up in training for too long."

"He's been training Aurors for years," Gideon told him impatiently, as though Fabian made such comments often. "I'm sure he knows what he's doing. Besides, what if we do decide to do this and get caught? We could be kicked out of training entirely and never be real Aurors."

"So what?" Fabian countered, standing up and pacing back in forth in front of the three of them. "Does it really matter if they give us a badge and a cubical in the Ministry building? The whole reason we signed up in the first place was to do everything we could to end this war, and now a perfect opportunity has come right to our door and you're questioning it?"

"_Someone_ has to think about it," Gideon argued. "You're just going to jump into this without thinking of the consequences."

"Because they don't matter," Fabian told him. "Doing the right thing, that's what's important. I don't care if I lose my job. I don't care if they lock me up for trying, because if I can make one shred of difference in this war, I'm going to do it."

"Tell me that again when we're in Azkaban," Gideon challenged, but they all knew that it was his way of finally agreeing. "For now, just keep your head down as best as you can. That's the only way this will work."

Fabian grinned widely, and Alice could not help but smile as well. With the Prewett brothers on her side, she knew that the rest would come without trouble. Gideon and Fabian were leaders in their generation, and people would follow them anywhere.

* * *

To her credit, Amelia did not scream when she saw him.

"Cado?" she asked, trying to hide the fear she felt at being held at wandpoint, her own wand was clasped tightly in the intruder's free hand. She knew his face, they had been at Hogwarts together, though he was a year younger than she. "What are you doing?"

Cado grinned manically. His entire demeanor was that of someone who had broken, but had not yet realized it. There were dark circles under his sunken eyes, his hair was too long and looked as though it did not get washed often enough, his sharp-featured face had lost the brightness that once found its home in his warm smile.

He rolled up the fraying sleeves of his robes—they looked as though they were from his Hogwarts uniform, but he had torn off the Ravenclaw emblem that used to sit proudly on his chest. "Haven't you heard, Millie?" he asked in a hoarse voice. "Don't you care what happens to heartbroken people?"

There was a pang in Amelia's own heart at this statement. "I never meant to hurt you, Cado," she told him softly, silently willing him to believe it. "But I was leaving. I had a job in London. I couldn't stay in Hogsmeade for a year waiting for you."

Cado laughed, but the sound was humorless. "Were you always so career-driven, Millie? You'd think I might have noticed."

"You knew from the beginning that I was going to work as soon as I left school," she told him, trying to keep the desperation from her voice.

"But what about when I left?" Cado exclaimed, discarding the two wands he held and grabbing her shoulders instead. He was clearly unhinged. "What then? Why didn't you look for me? Why didn't you answer my letters?"

"I was busy, Cado," Amelia admitted, though she loathed herself for having to say it. "I didn't have time for—"

"Shut up!" yelled Cado, pushing her back against the wall. "Just shut up! You're a heartless bitch, you know that? I don't know why I wasted so much time chasing you, Millie. But it doesn't matter anymore." He paused, a sick triumph gleaming in his green eyes. "I've found a job of my own. And it's time that you're the one hurt because of it."

Amelia tried to scream, but Cado's large, dry hand covered her mouth, stifling any sound.

"They told me to kill you," he explained calmly, as though he was talking about something as trivial as the weather, and dragged her back to where the wands lay forgotten. "And I will, be sure of it, but I want you to hurt first. I want you to feel everything you made me feel."

Terrified, Amelia struggled to get away from him, but even in a withered state, he was stronger than she was.

"Don't try to fight it, Millie," he cooed, grabbing the wands off the floor. "I survived the pain, didn't I? I'm sure you will, too. In fact, I'm counting on it. I want to make sure that I get to kill you when I want to."

* * *

"Lily, have you and James run your lines for _The Little Mermaid_, yet?" asked Neil Harris.

She had been sitting by herself on the edge of the stage, watching the others rehearse and silently fuming whenever James spoke to Daphne.

"No," she answered bleakly.

Neil was did not have to especially perceptive to understand at least part of the situation.

"Daphne's not his type," he told Lily reassuringly, taking a seat beside her.

Lily cocked an eyebrow. "Have you _met_ James?" Daphne was short, curvy, but thin, with long coppery hair and a pretty face. At one point, James would have been all over her, and Lily suspected that they were moving back toward that time.

"I have," said Neil with a small laugh. "Which is exactly why I say she's not his type. James doesn't have a type. He has a Lily. Nothing else."

"Right," Lily snorted. "Because I'm so good for him."

"Love hurts," he stated simply. "Why do you think we're doing this show? It portrays love as painful, but wonderful. People take hope in that."

Lily sighed. "Sirius wants me to keep fighting for James," she told Neil, praying that he had advice to offer. "But I always just end up hurting him. Wouldn't it be better for him if I just stayed out of his life?"

"I think it should be his decision," Neil answered honestly. "Now, get over there and practice your lines."

With that, he bounced away to talk to Clara Dove and Dylan Knight about _The Princess and the Pea_.

Steeling her will, Lily hopped off the stage and made her way to James and Daphne.

"And _then,_ the flats fell over!" Daphne was saying, and her story was obviously comical by her overdone expression and the laugh in James' smile. "Ian and Jill were _mortified_ when the audience saw what they had been doing!"

"That's awful!" James exclaimed, now laughing loudly.

Feeling awkward, Lily tapped approached the pair and cleared her throat.

"Lily," James greeted her, but his smile lacked its usual warmth.

"Neil wants us to practice _The Little Mermaid_," she told him, refusing to meet his eyes.

"I'll catch you two later then," Daphne told them brightly, clearly choosing to ignore the unease of the situation, and walked gracefully across the theater to talk to her brother.

"About earlier—"James began, but Lily thought she knew where he was going and cut him off.

"I know, I won't tell anyone about you, Sirius, and Peter."

"That wasn't what—"

"Come on," she said quickly, not wanting to hear him tell her goodbye. She was sure that his last hug had been farewell, and she wanted to keep it as the perfectly broken memory that it was. "Let's do your scene on the boat first, yeah?"

"Okay…" James agreed, giving her a strange look, but he didn't argue.

* * *

Lily was acting bizarre.

That was all James knew. He thought that they had returned to friendly terms after that morning, but he must have been wrong. She seemed to want to speak with him as little as possible.

Admittedly, she might think that he was still angry about the fact that she trusted Greg Pearson, and if that was the case, she was right. Actually, he was infuriated. But it did not really matter. James had decided to try to think about the entire thing in a more mature fashion than he was used to, and came to the conclusion that Lily was not to blame.

Not entirely, at least.

The majority of the blame, James thought, lay on the shoulders of Greg Pearson himself, since he was the one who all but seduced Lily in the first place, and then proceeded to break her heart, rape her friend, and join the most evil wizard of the age. It was Pearson's fault because he let Lily get close to him, he wound his way into her heart and dug a hole there, and it was not completely Lily's fault that Pearson was able to maintain some hold on her.

The rest of the blame, which did not fall on Lily or Greg, fell on James himself.

Perhaps—though the thought would never cross his mind—it was just James' self-sacrificing nature that caused him to hold himself responsible. But his reasons were irrelevant. He saw it as his own fault that Lily had so readily accepted Greg Pearson, in a sense, at least.

For the last two years, James had tried to be nothing but the person Lily would want, but it was possible that he had messed up any chance he might have had by being the arrogant bully that he had been for the four years prior to his change of heart. Maybe Lily had just needed someone, and did not trust James to be that person because he had not made a good first impression. And it was likely that she still thought of his affection as an act, since he had been known to go to any lengths to pull off a prank.

But Pearson had been a blank slate, which is why she gave him that chance over James. And James could never hate Lily for that, not when he knew that he might have had a chance if he had been decent person all along. He could only hate the situation that everyone's wrong choices had brought them too.

And because of this mature thought process, it appeared that, somewhere between troll blood and Muggle fairytales, James Potter had grown up.

* * *

Since he had become an Animagus, Peter had noticed a few subtle changes in his human form. His features had gradually become slightly more pointed, his initial reaction to things was now always flight rather than fight, and his hearing and eyesight had improved quite a bit.

It was because of this that he heard the muffled scream.

Peter jumped, ready to flee the room, but he realized that the noise had come from across the street. He dashed to the window and peeked out the curtain to see what was going on in the apartment building across the street.

Two figures, a tall man and a smaller woman, were struggling in one of the second level flats. The man had the obvious advantage based on size alone, but the woman seemed to be holding her own. There was a flash of red light and Peter ducked out of the window automatically, but the spell came nowhere near his room at the Leaky Caldron.

_So they're a witch and a wizard_, Peter thought, peering back out through the curtain.

A flash of blue, another muffled scream, then all was quiet for a moment. Peter thought the woman was surely dead, but in the faint evening light, he could see her struggle to her feet, and she now had a wand in her hand.

Her mouth moved, but Peter could not hear what she was saying. She appeared to be telling the man, who stood somewhere left of the window, something important. As soon as she was done, she turned and fled the room, and exited the building a moment later. Once Peter could get a good look at her, he noticed the wide, square jaw and the torn, but once stately, black robes. She looked vaguely familiar, but Peter could not place her before she had glanced down the street and Apparated with a _crack_.

There was no sign of the man, and Peter wondered briefly if he should go check to make sure he was all right, but decided against it. After all, Peter was just a liability.

* * *

Caradoc Dearborn had been thirteen when his older brother, Cado, had disappeared. But Caradoc was quite independent and had never particularly looked up to his brother, so the disappearance was not entirely devastating. He was, however, clever and observant, and had chosen to learn from his brother's mistakes.

So, at thirteen, Caradoc had sworn to never fall in love.

He dated, naturally. After all, he did share the Dearborns' tragically good looks, and he could be quite charming when he chose to be, but he had never truly let anyone close enough to touch his heart.

Never, at least, until he met Waverly Rivers.

She was not at all what he would have wanted, but she was everything he needed in his life. Beautiful, of course, with a Chinese mother and English father, she had just the right balance of characteristics—big brown eyes that smiled when she did, perfect black hair, pale skin, full pink lips, a round face, and petite structure. She was intelligent, too, though she often did not show just how smart she was. But the Sorting Hat had placed her in Gryffindor, so Caradoc knew that there was even more to her than meets the eye.

Originally, she had shown no interest in him, and that had suited Caradoc just fine, since he did not really care who he dated. But once day, at the end of their Fourth Year, they had been paired together for a Charms project. They had both been dating other people at the time. He, Vanessa Reese of Gryffindor, and she, Amos Diggory of Hufflepuff, but both relationships were completely forgotten within the first hour of working together. They had connected, plain and simple, and that fact absolutely terrified Caradoc.

He had tried to get away, but found that he simply could not. It was passion in the purest sense of the word, and after he had met her, there was no going back.

They had broken up with Vanessa and Amos within a week, and met in secret whenever they could. The secrecy that surrounded their initial meetings was merely for the sake of the reputations of all four people involved, but they soon discovered that they enjoyed the thrill of a clandestine relationship too much to give it up.

It was easy, really. She pretended to pine after James Potter, who was the type of guy that was used to such a thing and would think nothing of it, and he flirted in plain sight as often as possible. It worked so well, no one was the wiser, not even two and a half years later.

Which was why, when Caradoc and Waverly heard the front door of the Dearborn house fly open that night, Waverly immediately jumped behind the leather couch in the living room to hide from whoever it might be.

His heart beating fast with adrenaline, Caradoc drew his wand and hurried into the parlor to see who it could be. His parents were not supposed to be home until late, and he had no siblings but the long-since presumed dead Cado.

So, naturally, he was shocked when it was that very brother who stumbled through the door and collapsed on the rug.

"Cado?" Caradoc choked out, frozen to the spot in the doorway. From there, he could observe the mess that was the Dearborns' prodigal son.

Cado had lost weight since the last time he had been home, and faint stubble grew on his chin from days without shaving. He was unkempt to the extreme, and his green eyes—exactly the same shade as Caradoc's—were vacant and frightened. There were fresh cuts and a few bruises were forming along his arms and around his right eye.

"Hey, little brother," Cado greeted in a would-be casual voice, but the illusion was ruined when he promptly vomited all over the hallway.

"What are you doing here?" asked Caradoc, moving cautiously forward, avoiding the mess, and pulling Cado to his feet. "What's happened to you?"

"Long story," said Cado, wiping his mouth on the too-short sleeve of his robes and allowing Caradoc to lead him into the kitchen.

The younger brother narrowed his eyes. "Well, if you want my help, you better start talking."

Cado seemed to ponder this for a moment, but was interrupted by another slew of vomit. After he was finished heaving up bile, he looked up, red-eyed, and nodded.

Caradoc nodded as well and flicked his wand to clear away the pool of sick. "Waverly?" he called back into the living room. "I'm going to need your help."

* * *

"No, no, no," said Neil, shaking his head disapprovingly. "This is a story of _pain_. It's our grand finale—the only fairytale without a happy ending. I need you to show me that you're breaking, Lily. And James, you're in love with _Clara_! She's the girl of your dreams, got it?"

Lily and James nodded, not looking at each other.

"Good," stated Neil. "Now prove it."

Lily closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and repeated to herself the only things that mattered at the moment.

_I am playing Ariel. Ariel is a mermaid. She gave up everything to be with the man she loves. She lived in constant pain for him. He chose another girl. They get married and Ariel is left alone._

When she opened her eyes to run the wedding scene again, Lily was ready. It should not be hard, should it? Had she not just put herself through a similar ordeal?

_Just imagine losing James for good_, she told herself silently.

"If there are any objections," said Dylan Knight, who was playing the minister. "Speak now or forever hold your peace."

Lily kept silent, for the little mermaid was unable to speak for most of the show, since she had given it up to become human.

"Then do you, Prince Eric, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife to have and to hold from this day on, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"

James looked down at Clara, a cute girl with curly red-brown hair and an infectious smile. He was clearly trying to appear as though he was in love with her, and after a moment, he managed something that might have passed as strong affection. Were things normal (though, with Lily and James, was there ever a normal?), Lily would have had to stifle a laugh. But instead, she imagined the event to be real, and it was not all that difficult to look devastated.

"I do," said James firmly, and a tear of true sadness made its way down Lily's cheek.

"And do you, Princess Carlotta, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband to have and to hold from this day on, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"

Clara's smiled widened and she nodded. "I do."

"You have given and pledged your promises to each other, and have declared your everlasting love," continued Dylan. "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Lily actually had to look away, and bit her lip to keep from screaming.

"Perfect, Lily!" Neil exclaimed, interrupting the scene as James and Clara broke apart. "James, you still could use some work."

Lily tried to smile as James looked indignant and then she hopped down off the stage.

"Is it hard?"

Lily turned around to find Stella looking at her pityingly.

"W-what?" Lily stuttered, attempting to compose herself and hastily brushing a stray tear away.

Stella gave her a look. "You know what."

"Hardest thing I've ever done," Lily admitted to the blonde after a moment of indecision. "To just watch, I mean."

Stella nodded in understanding, tucking a strand of hair that had fallen from her ponytail behind her ear. "Funny how being passive is even more difficult than taking action."

The blonde paused, and Lily could tell she was choosing her words before she spoke them—classic Stella. "Why are you doing this, Lily?" Was the simple question she ultimately decided on.

It was kind of amazing, Lily thought, that she had only met Stella a year before, and had only truly known her for a matter of months, yet she could hear all of the unspoken words that her friend was thinking. _Why are you hurting James? Why are you hurting yourself? You've got to stop being stubborn and just tell him you love him. You've been given love—that's a gift—why are you rejecting it? It's not worth it to let James go, you'll regret that for the rest of your life._

"I just want to stop hurting him," Lily told her. It was all she knew to say, for she had no other answer.

"Do you think James cares if you hurt him?" Stella asked, crossing her arms. "Love's a gift, Lily, and James knows that. He's not going to give up just because it hurts, and neither should you."

"I knew you'd say something like that," said Lily, rubbing her eyes tiredly. "But what if it is worth it to me? What if I'm okay with hurting as long as he doesn't have to anymore?"

"Removing yourself from his life isn't doing him any favors," the blonde insisted. "Losing love hurts a lot more than having it. It doesn't matter if the pain is almost killing you right now, I guarantee that it _will_ kill at least one of you if you leave. Causing yourself pain indirectly brings pain to him, too, even if you can't see that."

"It's just so hard, Stella," Lily explained. "We've had so many highs and lows, before there even was an _us_ it was difficult. There's just so much emotion either way. It would be much easier for both of us if we just—"

"What have I always said?" Stella interrupted, giving Lily the hard look of someone who had seen too much and hurt too much to not know exactly what she was talking about.

Lily thought for a second, thinking back to a moment in a park that seemed to be eons ago. "_Love was never meant to be easy. It was meant to be worth it_," she quoted, knowing the phrase by heart, but never really understanding what it meant.

"Exactly," said Stella, putting her hands on her hips. "Tell me I'm wrong."

Lily glared at her briefly, but soon lost resolve. "I can't."

"I know," Stella told her, her face softening and she put an arm around Lily's shoulders. "But right or wrong, they're just words until you do something with them."

Stella might be preachy at times, but at least she always knew what she was talking about, Lily decided. Perhaps it would do her some good to finally turn those words into something with meaning.

* * *

"Maybe if we keep this up, Lily-flower will finally give in."

"My thoughts exactly," Stella replied after Lily had walked away, turning to where Sirius was painting one of the backdrop flats. He had a look on his face that Stella knew meant that he had something else on his mind. "What's wrong, Sirius?"

He quickly wiped the expression away. "Nothing, I'm just worried about our favorite couple-to-be."

"I'm sure," Stella said sarcastically. But she moved towards him and searched his eyes, and sure enough, there was suppressed pain in their grey depths. "You can tell me, you know," she added softly.

Sirius ran a hand through his hair. It seemed that he had picked something up from James. "It's really not important," he insisted, but glanced around the room anyway, so Stella knew he would tell her. "It's Regulus."

"Your brother?"

Sirius nodded. "The only reason I ever would have gone home was for him. I wish I could have brought him with me, but since Malfoy Manor, I betting he's too far gone."

Stella bit her lip and leaned against a dry part of the flat. "Maybe he has more of you in him than you think."

"And what if he doesn't?" Sirius asked, abandoning the paint and looking at her desperately. "What if he's like Bellatrix and the others?"

"I don't know, Sirius," she told him truthfully. "If that's the case, maybe you just have to hope that he's a coward, and that he won't act on his beliefs."

"That's a pretty shitty best option," said Sirius bluntly.

"This is a pretty shitty situation," Stella responded automatically. "It's war, Sirius. Only the casualties aren't really deaths as much as they are people's souls, you know?"

"But what if I could have saved him?"

Stella sighed. She hated being so negative, but she also knew that someone had to be realistic with Sirius. "Then you missed your chance."

Sirius growled, but Stella continued before he could argue.

"But perhaps it's not too late to bring him back."

He raised his eyebrows. "Do you really think so?"

"I do," she told him with certainty. "But it'll probably take a lot of work. Do you think it's worth it?"

"He's my brother," Sirius told her quietly, shaking his head. "And I know I'm living proof that what kind of blood you have doesn't matter, but still…"

"He's your brother," Stella supplied, smiling up at him. "You have try."

"Yeah," he nodded, a small smile spreading across his lips. "Thanks for understanding."

Stella's smile widened. "That's what I'm here for."

* * *

Waverly Rivers had always been a brilliant healer, so she was glad that she had stayed with Caradoc rather than Apparating away as soon as they heard the door open.

She assumed a business-like air and stripped Cado down to his underwear. As he began his story, she cleaned the blood away from his body. Caradoc paced the room, unsure of what to do.

"Once I knew Millie was gone for good," said Cado, wincing as Waverly wiped the blood from a particularly deep cut. "I didn't know what to do with myself. I had always planned to get a job in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, so that I could be with her all the time, but once she left, I couldn't even go into the Ministry because I was afraid I would see her. She was everything to me, I didn't know how to let her go."

Waverly ran her wand along the gashes, sealing them cleanly. Her techniques never left scars. She absorbed herself in the task at hand, because she had no idea what to say to this boy. She did not even know if she was supposed to like him or hate him. Caradoc rarely spoke of him, and Waverly had never pried.

"But that was years ago," snapped Caradoc. "Why didn't you come back sooner?"

Cado shook his head. "Dad expected me to get a job and support myself, and I wasn't going to come back until that happened."

"It still hasn't?" Caradoc's voice was cold.

"It did," Cado corrected, but his tone was not aggressive. "But I knew Dad wouldn't approve, and Mum would hate me for it."

Waverly felt her eyes narrow in suspicion, but she remained silent.

"What are you talking about?" Caradoc demanded instead.

"What do you think, Caradoc? You know I was always talented when it came to Defense. It turns out I was even better at the Dark Arts themselves, so I offered up my services to anyone who would pay." Cado looked only slightly ashamed, but mostly tired.

Caradoc's look of disgust went for both himself and for Waverly. "What the hell is wrong with you?" His voice was rising to a shout and his pacing quickening. "That's worse than becoming a Death Eater!"

Cado looked abashed. "I don't kill people because of their blood!"

"Exactly!" exclaimed Caradoc. "You kill them for no reason at all. Do you really think that's better?"

"There's no prejudice, at least."

"There's no belief at all," said Waverly, speaking for the first time. Her voice was monotone, and she tried to keep the glare from her eyes. "If you're going to do something as drastic as killing someone—or many people, for that matter—you have to believe that you're doing it for the right reasons, not because you want the money."

"But the Death Eaters are doing it for the wrong reasons," Cado argued, a bit of a manic gleam entering his eyes and causing Waverly to back away to stand beside Caradoc.

"It doesn't matter," said the younger Dearborn. "They _think_ it's right, and they're acting because of that. It's horrible and disgusting, but it's better than killing anyone just because you're getting paid for it."

"I just did what I had to do."

"Bullshit. You could have come home. We would have helped you, Cado!" Caradoc told him, and Waverly resumed healing the last of the cuts before moving onto the bruises.

"Dad wouldn't have," Cado told him. "You were too young and self-centered to care, but he always liked you better. He expected me to be as _perfect _as he thought you were. I was going to prove to him that I was just as good or die trying."

Waverly watched Caradoc carefully, judging his reaction. His dark eyebrows were pulled together, a muscle in his jaw working furiously as it so often did when he was thinking hard.

"I would've helped you, then," he said. "I don't know what gave you that impression of Dad, but he was the worst of us after you left. He never believed the rumors that you were dead. Mum and I gave up on you. He never really did."

Cado looked unsure of whether or not to believe his younger brother, so he just sighed and turned so Waverly could heal the large bruise blooming across his shoulder. "It's too late now, Doc. Maybe I've made mistakes, but I have to accept them and get on with life."

"You're not going back?" Caradoc asked, though judging by the hardness in his eyes, he already knew the answer.

"My life is there, now," said Cado. "I have friends, a home. It's my job."

"Look at what your job did to you," stated Waverly, making sure to press her wand on the bruise harder than was necessary to prove her point.

"It was different this time," Cado sighed.

"How?" the other two asked together.

"They asked me to kill Amelia."

"What? _Why_?" Caradoc demanded while Waverly asked, "You didn't did you?"

"No, I didn't," Cado admitted. "But I was going to. I wanted to make her hurt the way she made me hurt. I thought it would bring me closure."

"Then you must not have loved her like you thought you did," Caradoc told him, coming forward to put an arm around Waverly's waist. "If you did, you would never have wanted to hurt her, it doesn't matter what she did to you."

"Yeah?" Cado snorted. "You just wait until this little bird decides to fly away."

"I would rather kill myself than hurt her," Caradoc told him resolutely. "That's what love is. _This_," he gestured to his brother's emaciated and broken body, "is not love."

Cado laughed humorlessly. "You've got a lot to learn, little brother. There are different kinds of relationships, different kinds of love. Leave it to you to get the perfect, fairytale kind."

Waverly met Caradoc's eyes and gave him a small smile.

"Hardly," said the latter. "But I've finally figured out that the trouble is what makes it worth it."

"Save it," Cado told him wearily. As soon as the worst of his wounds were sealed, he stood and began gathering his clothes off the floor and pulling them back on.

"Cado, you're sick," Waverly murmured, attempting to clean the vomit off his robes with her wand. "You should stay here tonight."

"And let my dad see me like this?" he snorted. "No thanks. Besides, I have a job to finish and another to plan"

"Another?" asked Caradoc, glaring daggers at his brother. "You mean to tell me that you're not only going to murder the girl you claim to love, but you're going to continue with all of this?

"I told you, I have friends. This is my life now," Cado's voice suddenly sounded a thousand years old. "Not everyone gets a happy ending."

* * *

_(Sunday, August 28, 1977—One Month Later)_

It was the last night of the show before the school year began, and there was a certain excitement among the actors. Lily watched through the curtain as the theater filled with familiar faces after the brief intermission—Remus, Vanessa, Mary (who was dragging along three younger sisters), Sirius, Alice, Frank, Marlene, Dorcas, and the Potters. Peter was the only person absent.

"Thrilling isn't it?" a velvety smooth voice whispered in her ear, and Lily turned to see Greg standing directly behind her.

"Get away from me," Lily commanded, making to sidestep him, but his tall, muscular form blocked her path.

"Lily, Lily, Lily, I was hoping we had gotten past this," he said, feigning a hurt expression, which Lily ignored.

"_You're a Death Eater_," she hissed, once more trying and failing to get around him. "Constance is dead because of you. You raped Stella! You used me and hurt me and my friends. How do you expect me to just 'get past' all of that?"

Greg was pressing forward, corralling her into one of the dressing rooms. "Come on, Lils, just give me one more chance. I swear I'll be good this time."

_Time_. It was definitely time.

"No!" Lily yelled as her back was pressed painfully against a vanity in the dressing room. "But there is something that I've been wanting to say you."

"What's that, love?" asked Greg, standing barely an inch away from her.

Lily took a deep breath, fully ready to finally let him go. "Believe it or not, you really broke my heart, Greg," she began. He made to speak, but Lily cut him off. "I should never have let you have that power over me, and I should have realized from the start that you were using that power all along. When people care about each other, really love each other, they don't want power at all. They hate having control over the other person."

"Learn that from Potter, huh?" Greg snorted.

"Yes!" Lily told him, crossing her arms and glaring up at him. "James has taught me a lot, actually. But most of all, I've realized that he deserves much better than me. My heart's just a bunch of useless pieces thanks to you. James should have someone with a perfect heart, but he still seems to want me—or at least he used to. I don't really know anymore, but I do know that I have to fight for him like he always fought for me."

"You know," said Greg, not paying much attention to what she was saying as his hand found his way to her waist. "You're even hotter when you're angry."

"Don't touch me!" Lily yelled, throwing his hand off of her. "I don't want to have anything else to do with you, Gregory Pearson." Her voice was quiet now, but deadly serious. "I want you to die a painful death and burn in hell."

"How do you plan to make that happen?" Greg asked, roughly holding her head still as he leaned closer.

Lily gulped, afraid for the first time since the start of the conversation. "Don't test me, Greg." She reached for her wand, which was tucked into her shorts at her back, but he was too fast. His warm lips were on hers, his hands holding her arms to her sides.

"Mhfff!" Lily exclaimed. "Ger orff!"

"Mmm," Greg moaned, trailing his lips down her neck. "I've missed this."

"I'll scream," Lily threatened, but Greg just laughed. "I've already thought of that, love. The room is soundproof."

His hands were just at the right position to hold her arms tight and still run his thumbs across her breasts, and he was taking full advantage of that.

But she was Lily Evans, and she did not go down without a fight. She brought her knee up between his legs as hard as she could, crippling him momentarily, and ran to the door.

Once in the hall again, she could see James' head disappearing around a corner. He must have seen the whole thing—or part of it, at least.

"James!" she yelled, running to catch up with him and wondering why he had not tried to stop Greg.

When she reached him, he spun around, anger and pain competing for dominance on his face.

"It's one thing to trust him, Lily," he began before Lily could say anything. "But don't tell me that you're falling in love with him!"

"I—what?" asked Lily, taken aback. "What are you talking about?"

"I saw you kissing him," said James, glaring down at her.

"Me? _Me?_" exclaimed Lily indignantly. "I was trying to get him off of me!"

James crossed his arms and refused to meet her eye. "Not very hard, apparently."

Lily stared at him, open-mouthed. "You clearly didn't see much, then."

"Did you expect me to stick around and watch?" James snapped.

"I expected you to do something about it!"

"I'm not your hero, Lily!" he yelled, throwing his arms in the air in frustration. "I've already tried that, and it didn't work. You don't need anyone to save you. And I'm through trying."

After that, he was gone, disappearing onto the stage for the opening scene of _The Little Mermaid._

"Lily? What are you doing?" Neil exclaimed frantically, appearing at her elbow. "You're on right now!"

Shaking her head to clear it of what had just happened, Lily quickly yanked off her shirt, leaving her in a sea-shell bra, and pulled on the shimmery green fin that Neil was holding out to her. As soon as she was changed, Neil threw her over his shoulder and carried her out onto the stage, dashing away just as the curtains opened and the lights came up.

Luckily, Lily had had no time to get nervous, so all she had to do was rearrange her face into a serene expression and listen as Ian Prestwick narrated the story.

"Far out in the ocean, where the water is as blue as the prettiest cornflower, and as clear as crystal, it is very, very deep; so deep, indeed, that no cable could fathom it: many church steeples, piled one upon another, would not reach from the ground beneath to the surface of the water above. There dwelled the Sea King and his subjects…"

His calm, clear voice set the scene perfectly. He told the story of three mermaid princesses, raised by their grandmother in a kingdom under the sea. As each sister turned fifteen, they were allowed to rise out of the water at night to explore the world above. The first two were at first amazed by the many sights and sounds of the world outside the ocean, but they soon grew tired. Lily, however, who played the youngest, longed for nothing more than to see the outside, and when she finally did, she was intrigued with a ship that held a young prince, who was played by a still-angry looking James.

_Don't give up on him, Lily,_ she told herself forcefully as she gave James a hard look across the stage. _ He was willing to try for you, now it's your turn. _

"That night, a terrible storm blew in and wrecked the ship, leaving all of the passengers to drown at sea, but the mermaid had fallen in love with the prince, and so she found him among the wreckage and swam him safely to shore."

Lily tried not to grimace at the cold look on James' face as she lay him on the dry land. Slowly, hesitantly, she kissed his forehead, and even though they had practiced this a hundred times, Lily still felt the jump in her stomach as she did so.

_He's worth it._ Lily repeated it over and over again. She knew for a fact that the statement was true, but it strengthened her resolve a bit with each time she thought it. _He's worth it._

_He's worth it._

_He's worth it._

The audience sighed in contentment as Lily kissed James' cheek and stroked his hair, but they were not appeased for long. At that moment, a bell sounded and it was time for Clara to make her first appearance.

Ian explained that Clara—Carlotta in the story—saw the prince lying on the beach and hurried to his rescue. And Lily did not have to try to look unhappy about the situation.

"After his rescue, the little mermaid continued to watch the prince, and she heard the fishermen tell tales of his good deeds. This only made her fall more deeply in love with him, though the prince knew naught of her existence. She wanted nothing more than to be human herself so that she could be with him always. She began to question her wise grandmother about the humans, hoping to find a way to connect with the prince."

"If human beings are not drowned," asked Lily, "can they live forever? Do they never die as we do here in the sea?"

"Yes," replied Annabelle Stewart, who was playing the grandmother. "They must also die, and their term of life is even shorter than ours. We sometimes live to three hundred years, but when we cease to exist here we only become the foam on the surface of the water. We have not immortal souls, we shall never live again. Human beings, on the contrary, have a soul which lives forever, lives after the body has been turned to dust. It rises up through the clear, pure air beyond the glittering stars. As we rise out of the water, and behold all the land of the earth, so do they rise to unknown and glorious regions which we shall never see."

"Why have not we an immortal soul?" asked Lily mournfully, stealing glances at the cardboard castle where James awaited his cue.

_He's worth it._

"I would give gladly all the hundreds of years that I have to live, to be a human being only for one day, and to have the hope of knowing the happiness of that glorious world above the stars," she continued.

_He's worth it._

"You must not think of that," said Annabelle. "We feel ourselves to be much happier and much better off than human beings."

"So I shall die," said Lily. "And as the foam of the sea I shall be driven about never again to hear the music of the waves, or to see the pretty flowers nor the red sun. Is there anything I can do to win an immortal soul?"

"No," said the old woman, "unless a man were to love you so much that you were more to him than his father or mother; and if all his thoughts and all his love were fixed upon you, and the priest placed his right hand in yours, and he promised to be true to you here and hereafter, then his soul would glide into your body and you would obtain a share in the future happiness of mankind. He would give a soul to you and retain his own as well; but this can never happen. Your fish's tail, which amongst us is considered so beautiful, is thought on earth to be quite ugly; they do not know any better, and they think it necessary to have two stout props, which they call legs, in order to be handsome."

Lily had always loved this scene, for she felt that it described her relationship with James perfectly. Only instead of giving her a soul, he had managed to give her a heart after hers had been broken.

_He's worth it._

After the conversation, Ian narrated, the little mermaid traveled to the home of the sea witch, played by Daphne, in the hopes that the woman had a way for her to obtain legs.

"I know what you want," Daphne cackled, looking horrid in her sea witch makeup. "It is very stupid of you, but you shall have your way, and it will bring you to sorrow, my pretty princess. You want to get rid of your fish's tail, and to have two supports instead of it, like human beings on earth, so that the young prince may fall in love with you, and that you may have an immortal soul. I will prepare a draught for you, with which you must swim to land tomorrow before sunrise, and sit down on the shore and drink it. Your tail will then disappear, and shrink up into what mankind calls legs, and you will feel great pain, as if a sword were passing through you. But all who see you will say that you are the prettiest little human being they ever saw. You will still have the same floating gracefulness of movement, and no dancer will ever tread so lightly; but at every step you take it will feel as if you were treading upon sharp knives, and that the blood must flow. If you will bear all this, I will help you."

Lily nodded. "I will."

"But think again," said Daphne. "For when once your shape has become like a human being, you can no more be a mermaid. You will never return through the water to your sisters, or to your father's palace again; and if you do not win the love of the prince, then you will never have an immortal soul. The first morning after he marries another your heart will break, and you will become foam on the crest of the waves."

"I will do it," said Lily, glancing once more to where she knew James was hidden and silently praising the little mermaid for the courage she had because of love.

_He's worth it._

"But I must be paid also," Daphne explained. "And it is not a trifle that I ask. You have the sweetest voice of any who dwell here in the depths of the sea, and you believe that you will be able to charm the prince with it also, but this voice you must give to me; the best thing you possess will I have for the price of my draught. My own blood must be mixed with it, that it may be as sharp as a two-edged sword."

"But if you take away my voice," said Lily, "what is left for me?"

"Your beautiful form, your graceful walk, and your expressive eyes; surely with these you can enchain a man's heart. Well, have you lost your courage? Put out your little tongue that I may cut it off as my payment; then you shall have the powerful draught."

"It shall be," said Lily, and the lights came down for the scene change.

When they came back up, Lily had stripped out of the fin, and wore a simple cream skirt along with her seashell bra. James stood above her seat on a rock.

"Who are you?" he asked, and his voice contained surprising kindness. "Where do you come from?"

Now unable to speak, Lily could only look up at him sadly, searching his eyes as he did the same to hers. He helped her to her feet, and Lily tried to imagine what it would feel like to step on knives. She feigned a wince, but walked with grace as James led her back to the palace.

_He's worth it._

"She was very soon arrayed in costly robes of silk and muslin, and was the most beautiful creature in the palace; but she was dumb, and could neither speak nor sing," said Ian to the crowd as Stella and Annabelle, now dressed a servants, wrapped the robes around her. "Beautiful female slaves, dressed in silk and gold, stepped forward and sang before the prince and his royal parents: one sang better than all the others, and the prince clapped his hands and smiled at her. This was great sorrow to the little mermaid; she knew how much more sweetly she herself could sing once, and she thought, 'Oh if he could only know that! But I have given away my voice forever, to be with him.'"

But when Stella and Annabelle began to dance, Lily joined them and did so more gracefully than the two girls. It had taken a lot of work on her part to get the dance just right, but the effort paid off as the audience sighed with happiness as they watched her. She even heard a catcall, but Lily was willing to bet it had been Sirius.

"The prince said she should remain with him always, and she received permission to sleep at his door, on a velvet cushion. He had a page's dress made for her, that she might accompany him on horseback. They rode together through the sweet-scented woods. She climbed with the prince to the tops of high mountains; and although her tender feet bled so that even her steps were marked, she only laughed, and followed him till they could see the clouds beneath them looking like a flock of birds travelling to distant lands."

"As the days passed, she loved the prince more fondly, and he loved her as he would love a little child, but it never came into his head to make her his wife; yet, unless he married her, she could not receive an immortal soul; and, on the morning after his marriage with another, she would dissolve into the foam of the sea.

"Do you not love me the best of them all?" the eyes of the little mermaid seemed to say, when he took her in his arms, and kissed her fair forehead."

"Yes, you are dear to me," said James, his eyes boring into Lily so strongly that she had to force herself to maintain eye contact. _He's worth it. _"For you have the _best heart_," James stressed the line. "And you are the most devoted to me; you are like a young maiden whom I once saw, but whom I shall never meet again. I was in a ship that was wrecked, and the waves cast me ashore near a holy temple, where several young maidens performed the service. The youngest of them found me on the shore, and saved my life. I saw her but twice, and she is the only one in the world whom I could love; but you are like her, and you have almost driven her image out of my mind. She belongs to the holy temple, and my good fortune has sent you to me instead of her; and we will never part."

Lily did not find it hard to act hurt by this, for the little mermaid knew at this point that he would never truly love her the way that she loved him.

_He's worth it._

Ian went on to tell of how it was said that the prince would have to marry, and that he searched the land over, meeting every eligible princess. Each girl was another pang in the little mermaid's heart, but she followed him loyally. Eventually the prince came upon a beautiful town. The princess did not appear right away, for she was being raised in a religious house where they taught her only goodness.

When Clara finally came on stage, many of the audience members gasped or cried out in shock.

_Get used to it,_ thought Lily harshly. _Love doesn't always work the way you want it to_.

_But __James is worth it._

_He's worth it._

_He's worth it._

"It was you," said James, grinning at Clara so sincerely that it hurt Lily to look at. "You saved my life when I lay dead on the beach." James pulled Clara into his arms. "Oh, I am too happy," said he to Lily. "My fondest hopes are all fulfilled. You will rejoice at my happiness; for your devotion to me is great and sincere."

Lily forced a smile and nodded slowly. And the lights went down again.

When they were brought back up, Clara wore a wedding dress, James a suit, and Lily, a simply gown.

"The little mermaid felt her heart breaking," said Ian woefully. "For upon the prince's marriage, she would melt into the foam on the waves and never receive an immortal soul. But she saw that the prince was happy, so she planned to dance at his wedding and be merry."

Lily knew that Clara looked beautiful walking down the aisle, but the young witch had eyes only for James. She could feel him slipping away from her as each moment ticked passively by, and Lily knew that if she did not do something to mend the situation, surely she would lose him forever.

_He's worth it._

_He's worth it._

_Oi! Evans! Be my Valentine?_

Lily started slightly as the phrase she had long since forgotten rang through her mind, accompanied by thoughts of roses, boys in cupid costumes, lilies, sky-writing, dances, sunflowers, and broomstick rides. And suddenly, she realized what she had to do.

James had always put himself out there for her, from the very start, and she had only ever publically rejected him. It was her turn, Lily knew, to give James the opportunity to make the final decision, and let him have the option of humiliating her in front of a crowd. It seemed only fair, and Lily knew of no other way to prove to James that her heart belonged to him and no one else.

_He's worth it._

"If there are any objections," began Dylan, and Lily knew that this was the time to act. "Speak now or forever hold your peace."

_He's worth it._

_He's worth it._

_He's worth it._

She sprung to her feet, much to the shock of everyone on stage, and yelled at the top of her voice, "I OBJECT!"

Luckily, Ian was a quick fellow, and though she did not know it, this was the ending he had rooted for all along. She silently thanked him as he turned back to the audience and grinned.

"But the little mermaid's love was so strong that it broke the sea witch's spell, and she decided that the prince meant too much to her to give up without a fight."

"What's going on?" James and Dylan demanded, miraculously in union. It could have been rehearsed.

_He's worth it._

"I LOVE YOU, DAMN IT!" Lily shouted across the stage, leaving James, Dylan, Clara, and the audience in a state of shock. She could see Neil offstage staring at her with wide eyes.

But it was too late to turn back, so Lily marched right up to James, shoved Clara out of the way, and stared him straight in the eye.

_He's worth it._

"I love you because you make funny noises when you brush your teeth, and because your jokes always come at the most inopportune moments. I love you because you love your friends, and are willing to go to any lengths to keep them safe. I love you because you fight for what you believe in, no matter what, and because the things that you believe in are always right. I love you because you have a beautiful heart, even if it takes you a while to show it. And I love you because somehow, through all your sarcasm and arguing and ridiculous compliments, you've shown me—never intentionally—that even though I've got a lot of flaws, there must be some good in there too. You bring out the best in me, even if it's sometimes in a backhanded hard-to-see way, you do. And I know that I'm not good enough for you, not even close. You deserve someone who's going to worship the ground you walk on—"

But she could not continue, because suddenly, his lips were over hers, his arms wrapped tightly around her. It was nothing like the way that Gregory Pearson had kissed her, in fact, this kiss wiped Greg from her mind entirely. He was sweet and gentle and passionate all at the same time, and just by pressing his lips to hers, he made her feel loved and beautiful and perfect. After an instant of surprise, Lily kissed him back, earning cheers from an audience she had long-since forgotten. All she knew, as James moved his hands up to gently cup her face, was that she was experiencing magic in its purest, strongest sense. It was coursing through her veins and flowing through her soul until every corner of her being was immersed in exhilaration and light.

Yes, she would have to face Greg again eventually, and yes, there was a war going on and people were out for her blood, even Neil was likely to be out of his mind with anger for ruining the show, but those things were but trifles now that Lily knew that she would meet them with James Potter at her side.

James lifted her off her feet and spun her in circles, kissing her all the while, and Lily could not help but let out a laugh of pure joy. When James set her back down, his hands steadfastly holding her waist, he was smiling at her in such a way that even the harsh stage lights seemed dim by comparison.

_Oh, he is worth it._

"I don't want a girl that worships the ground I walk on," he told her, his voice soft. "I want _you_, darling, all the fighting included. Because I love you too, damn it," he grinned. "I have from the start. And you know I will. Always."

The other characters were completely forgotten as the audience jumped to their feet in a standing ovation. Sirius, who was front and center, was grinning like a maniac, laughing and crying and taking pictures, all dignity forgotten. Frank, Mary, Marlene, and Dorcas were in varying states of shock, but Remus looked nothing short of proud, and Alice and Vanessa were hugging each other and yelling themselves hoarse.

"It's you, James," Lily said, so quietly that only he could hear. "It always has been. I made a mistake trusting Greg, I know it. But I also know that trusting you is the best thing I could ever do."

James kissed her forehead, holding her tightly and causing the butterflies to swarm almost violently in her stomach. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting to hear you say that."

"Thank you for never giving up on me," Lily whispered into his chest, wrapping her arms around him.

"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things," He murmured into her hair, quoting the wedding script Ian had read a hundred times aloud.

Lily smiled, finally knowing just how true those words were. "And love never fails."

* * *

_Since the invention of the kiss, there have only been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind. - The Princess Bride_

**SQUEE! **_**FINALLY**_**! It took fifty chapters, but here we are at last. I hope it lived up to your expectations. (:**

**I've made a blog: pottedlilies . blogspot . com (there is also a link on my profile) where you can check out where I'm at in the chapters, and read teasers and such. Drop me a comment if you check it out!**

**Also, I hope you liked the new characters that were introduced, and I hope that this isn't too overwhelming since the chapter is (count 'em!) over fifteen thousand words. That's about thirty-two pages not double-spaced.**

**If you have any questions, let me know.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Love Always,**

**Kayla**

_All the best love stories have one thing in common—they need to go against all odds to get there._


	51. NOTICE

NOTICE

As most of you are aware, I have decided to re-write this story. This version is going to remain posted, but I have decided that Chapter 50 was an excellent place to stop.

I have posted the first chapter of the new version of the story. The new one kept the original title (Of Raindrops, Flowers, & Wishing Wells) and I have changed the old version's title to Of Raindrops, Flowers, and Wishing Wells. It's no big deal, I just wanted to make you aware.

Just remember that if you have this story on alerts or anything like that, you'll need to put the new version on there as well.

The new story is…_good_. I'm very proud of it, actually, and I would not say that unless I absolutely meant it. I really think that you are going to enjoy it immensely. However, if you really do not want to read the new version, I will put an update on this one saying when the new one is caught up to this point. BUT I STRONGLY ADVISE YOU TO READ THE NEW ONE. It's about a thousand times better than this one. There's actually character development in the first chapters, and all of the characters have more personality, I think. And it just makes more sense.

But before I go, I want to answer a few questions about this version that people have asked.

**What exactly is going on with Caradoc, Cado, and Amelia?**

This storyline is much more developed in the new version, but the simple version is this: Caradoc and Cado Dearborn are brothers, Cado is older. Cado was a year behind Amelia at Hogwarts and they dated. He liked her a lot more than she liked him, so when she left the school, she thought that the relationship was over. Cado, however, was heartbroken. He became obsessive and thought she would wait for him. When she didn't, he sort of lost it. Chief Warlock Umbridge hired Cado to murder Amelia (because Umbridge is pissed that Amelia got the werewolf law passed), and Cado thinks that he can do it, but when he gets there, he starts to let out all of his frustrations and Amelia gets away.

**Is this story Canon? Or will Lily and James live in the end?**

It's Canon. They are going to die. There story loses value to me if they live. It would be nice and everything, but the point—to me—is that they fight for a better future even though they know that they won't be around to experience it. They fight selflessly, and that is what makes them heroes.

**How far will this story go in their lives?**

The actual plot goes through to Harry's birth, and then there will be an epilogue about their deaths.

**Why is it called **_**Of Raindrops, Flowers, & Wishing Wells**_**?**

There are a lot of titles out there that are sort of dramatic, or they touch on MAJOR events in the lives of Lily and James, but to me, the little things brought them together just as much as the big things did. It rains when James brings Sirius to Lily over the summer, and at other points throughout the story. The flowers—James starts out giving her lilies, but over time he learns that she prefers sunflowers, which was sort of him realizing that love is more about the other person and what they want, rather than what you think that they want. The flowers also refer to Constance and the white roses, Valentine's Day, etc. The wishing well was only touched on in this story, because it doesn't really play a part until the end. But the point of the title is that the little things are just as important as the big ones.

I truly hope that you don't hate me for re-starting the story. Some of you disagree with me (cough-Nick-cough), but when people tell me how great this story is, and then I go back and look at it, all I can think is _why?_ And I'm not saying that so that anyone can answer the question. This story is not at all up to par in my mind anymore. I started it when I was fourteen years old. I am now eighteen, and my writing has significantly improved.

Please give the new version a chance. All of the major events and quite a few of the conversations are the same, but it's just more detailed and expanded. Thanks for sticking with me through so much. You guys are the best readers any author could ever ask for.

For more info on the new story, drawings of the characters, writing tips, teasers/spoilers, and more, you can visit my writing blog: **www. pottedlilies . blogspot. com **(no spaces). There is also a link on my profile.

I love you all to bits!

Love Always,

Kayla

_If we're going to be damned, let's be damned for who we really are._


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